Just a few things I viewed while brushing my teeth this morning.
Watching my partner kneeling in the closet, taking ammo out of a shotgun, his tattoo partially showing.
The look on his face.
All so perfect.
So protective, loving and strong.
I stood there simply appreciating him.
And it is these appreciative moments that build our turn on,
Those moments where you take someone in when they are not knowing that you are,
like watching your partner shower or cook.
Watching them radiate when they are doing something that they enjoy or are so very good at.
Watching them parent,
laugh or sleep.
Often these are not “big moments,” they are not things that are out of the norm or uncommon to any given day. However, when we slow down and they strike us in our witnessing of our partners we are captivated by the soul.
They take us to new levels of deep love with our partners.
They ignite us and create desire.
These snapshot moments allow us to see our partners in a brilliant light outside of our relationships and all the ebbs and flows of it.
Research has shown that couples feel more drawn toward their partners at times like these because we are allowing ourselves to truly see the soul expression of our mates instead of just getting caught up in the day to day grind of life, family and responsibilities.
This space that is created in these times is where desire often stems from.
And desire is something that so many couples long to restore or to captivate once again but have no understanding of how to achieve.
You see when we first come together there is space between us.
We live our separate lives, we have times and experiences apart where we are creating life and who we are without our partner right by our side consistently.
Then when we get more serious and committed with a partner we have a longing to eliminate the space. We want to experience everything we possibly can with this other soul and we hungrily try to do what we can to achieve just that because we want to know them at a deep cellular level, we are fascinated by them and at the same time want to allow them to see all of us as well.
However as time goes on, this lack of space often creates a complacency in the relationship. We start to take our partners for granted because we know them so well, and our nature as humans is to get settled into a pattern in our lives and create habits around them. We stop looking at our partners as though they have anything new to share with us or we with them.
And desire diminishes and fades.
Add In children, work, bills and many other sidetracking things that exhaust us as individuals and as a couple and you can easily see how and why so often couples start to question if their partner desires them any longer or where their turn on went for their mate.
The common belief is that if we were to just have more sexual intimacy then things would be better and more connected. That desire would creep back in.
The issue is that to have penetrative heart centered sex you must first desire each other and want for the depth of connection.
You must look at your partner as a wonderland of new experience in that moment, not assume that you already know everything there is to know about them and just think that quantity of engagement is the key.
Desire is a mental and emotional longing first.
It comes from our hunger to explore our partner in all facets.
Then from that space the primal nature and physical desire to connect is birthed.
Much the same as our desire to get healthy.
Our desire to be successful or wealthy.
Or anything else.
At first we look at the thing we are desiring with awe, because we do not have it or we do not understand it fully. So we know that we must educate ourselves about it, explore possibilities of how to remove the space between where we currently are and having the thing that we desire.
And like anything of this nature,
once we obtain it it’s shiny newness wears off and our desire to play with it, enjoy it, delve deeper into it over the course of time and experience starts to dwindle.
We consciously become aware of how desire is kept strong and prevent ourselves and our partners from falling into this common ground of relationship complacency.
But to do this we must want for an empowered relationship with our partner.
We must desire depth.
We must desire truth and honesty.
We must desire playfulness and trust.
We must desire heart centered alignment,
and we must understand that desire at its core will only be able to hold strong if our partner KNOWS that they are primary in our lives.
From this foundation we can create the space required for the embers of desire to once again be harnessed and emerge.
Want to learn the secrets to a desire based soul united relationship?
Reach out today to speak with me about my 2021 Ignited Couples Mentorship now. Limited space for this exclusive private couples training. Message me now or comment in the comments for deet’s.
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