The Feminine Carries Wounds For A Lifetime.

Some wounds never heal for a woman.

 

I have learned through the course of my 44 years on this planet thus far and who know how many lifetimes before ( if that’s even a thing) that some wounds live with us and carry forward no matter how we try to mask, hide, forget or “heal” them.

 

They are markings on our vessel that serve a purpose that we are to never fully turn away from.

And as a woman, I feel that the feminine perhaps emotionalizes and carries them even deeper than the masculine can ever comprehend.

 

Around the topics of love, sex and children,

we discover the potential for some of the most significant wounds.

And I believe that because a woman feels life move through herself in all of these areas that when a wound occurs here that it impacts deeper and on all fronts of her experience.

 

Think about it….

Sex happens inside a woman’s body.

When you have sex with a woman,

you are INSIDE her body.

You are actually inside another human being in these moments,

and inorder for her to enjoy the moment then she must not be in her mind,

but be able to surrender emotionally, mentally and physically to the experience.

Sex is an external expereince for a man for the most part.

Sure men have heart in it,

and the best lovers come from this space not just from their genitals,

but still sex is happening outside of the mans physical body, creating a certain level of detachment to the process.

Where for a woman,

it is the opposite. It is happening inside her actual body. She must open her body to her partner and in order for her to not be harmed she must trust that her partner will be present and honor that space of her being as well as her heart.

 

This is why, rape or anything in its nature is not just a physical act that can be physically healed through. It is far more impactful than that. It is mental/psychological and emotional.

And the repercussions are life long for many in these areas. It is something that will bear with it body memory FOREVER.

 

If we look at love, here too a woman goes deep. She loves with her whole being and she opens herself from this complete state. She is not just loving, ( when it is pure and real) from a place of mind or body. It is not a place of logic. It is the whole being. And when a woman enters into love from this space she melts into the relationship, she becomes one with her partner and she surrenders her fears, her doubts, her pain and armour. She puts it all down and opens herself to being conquered by her man.

Here she is truly vulnerable and knows that he can do great damage if he turns away or chooses to not stand strong in their love. But she enters love anyway.

This is a space that if wounds occur,

they never fully heal.

They remain with a a scar, a void underneath her shield for her lifetime,

always tugging,

always craving for what was had and then lost.

 

 

If a woman becomes a mother,

no matter the time that she is one,

She has forever surrendered to this new state of understanding about self and life.

Many women become mothers but are not with children.

Many women believe that these moments that they carried a child ( may it be weeks, months or years) that in the loss, whether chosen or not, that the impact can be overstepped and forgotten.

But once experienced they have to surrender their deepest heart to the truth that it will forever be carried with them.

The deepest of losses.

Men again have heart here,

feel loss here,

but cannot ever fully understand the impact emotionally, physically or mentally that it can have on a woman,

and the disconnect that occurs at this loss between the woman and her very soul and body.

 

Again this is because it is internal for the feminine and external for the masculine.

A man is told about what he helped create but he does not breathe each day of creation in the true essence and feeling of shared space with another soul 24/7. He does not experience the hormonal responses, the emotional tolls or the physical labor of the event.

And if that child is lost,

he can never comprehend the impact of the mind/body/heart or soul that it takes on the feminine,

because he is detached to the external experience.

 

All three of these wounds:

sex-love-children

 

All three of these experiences awaken and shut down the very heart of a woman.

They are life altering.

Personality shifting.

From a cellular level they forever change who the woman is and how she chooses to walk through life.

They have the potential to make her blossom,

or implode.

Not one of these life experiences can ever be fully healed or forgotten.

 

Many women experience all three wounds.

Many women do not pay proper honor to these transformation points but in turn shame, guilt and blame themselves for them.

The self-hatred and disgust that is often lived in for a lifetime to follow,

prevents the feminine from ever fully receiving herself again, and she walks through life fearing and doubting her truth.

It is difficult to get a woman who has experienced these wounds to ever set her armour fully down again and trust.

 

And if she does choose to do so,

she is quick to grab her sword and shield at the slightest sign of trouble.

She forever will walk on eggshells within herself, knowing how fragile she truly is.

 

And yet the answer is to trust herself and learn to love herself fully again,

despite the pain that she carries,

knowing our courage and strength as a woman is where we can once again enter into love with self and trust with God.

 

From this feminine heart to yours,

I feel your pain and fear,

I have walked all these wounded paths before,

and I speak today to you beautiful women of the world from that place of not healed,

but a knowing that in our honor of self that we find our breath,

we discover our life again,

and we live.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Loving

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ladies it’s time to own your power and learn to love again.

Love self again.

Honor self and live your F-ck Yes Life Now!

Reach out to me for my ladies only coaching opportunities now.

 

The Power of Tantra, not just for the bedroom!

“The most important thing is this: to be willing at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we can become.” — Charles Du Bois

Any of us who have viewed the movie The Secret, read or studied A Course in Miracle’s or have done any amount of self-improvement may it have been in Technology of Kabbalah, NLP, Landmark or good ol’ Amway, are familiar with the concept that we need to let the old leaves of our old selves and lives shed so that we can bloom into a new reality of self and manifest the life that we are desiring. No matter the course we choose to birth this transformation, one thing is evident — one aspect of our life (self) must die in order to give birth to the desired life (self). But how do we do this? And more at question here is how does something such as tantra assist us on this mission?

What is Tantra?

(the basics)

Tantra is about the expansion of  human consciousness. Just today I was listening to Sasha Cobra one of my favorite teachers and she was sharing the power of  releasing traumas from the physical body. Even if you are someone who has not experienced a “significant” trauma (i.e. rape, sexual abuse, beatings, deaths of loved ones, etc.) you may have blocked energies and traumas from childhood programming (an over religious family, controlling, etc) or grown up where stability was at question, even past life traumas come into play and block our energies in current bodies. Tantra expands our consciousness through exercises, breath-work and bodywork by releasing these traumas, which completely change our thought process once they have been let go of.  This then helps us to connect to our Divine State of True Being.

It takes great courage to set foot down the healing path of Tantra as it does any healing path. In order to access the holistic aspects of Tantra one  needs to be willing to be “Naked in Every Way.” Meaning that we are willing to bring our souls as well as our bodies to a sharing of the depths of all the levels of our personalities. Physical, emotional, mental, energetic and soul levels.  This is how we can achieve divine presence or union with the creator, the universe itself. Tantra is an ancient sacred practice that is laced throughout many world cultures that teaches us how to achieve this divine presence.

However, it is only accessible when certain things are in place for the healing to happen so that the union will manifest.

Safety – Vitally important that each party feels safe and supported in the environment. Proper boundary setting is a must in ALL relationships. When entering into any sacred holistic healing all parties need to feel safe and be able to establish what they are comfortable with and what their expectations may be for the events to follow. These boundaries MUST ALWAYS be respected so that healing may happen.

Responsibility – You and your teacher, partner must be responsible for your own beliefs, decisions and consciousness. Simply put, be responsible for the energy that you bring to the event. May it be a yoga, breath-work or energy based session or a tantric date night with your lover, be responsible for your energy, thoughts, actions and emotions.

Communication – One has to be willing to express their own needs in anyway that they can. Through words, sounds, or gestures. A tantric experience will help those who do not know how to lovingly communicate their needs to be able to, but participants on both sides must be willing to listen to and express when encouraged either by their teacher/partner or by their inner voice.

Trust and Surrender– Tantra is about loving, living and being. The above areas are there mainly to assist with helping the participants in the most important area of all, trust and surrender. Our society teaches us that we should not trust or surrender yet the only way to fully embrace bliss and the divine, which will expand our consciousness and weave together all aspects of our physical experience and souls manifest, is to trust and to surrender.  Often what is not thought of is that the trust that we must heal and learn to embrace is not that of trusting everyone on our life path but of trusting ourselves and our ability to make healthy decisions for ourselves. If we have a partner in life then it is vital to be able to express ourselves and trust them as well. With trust comes surrender. The power one can experience with deep vulnerability and surrender is ‘Awh’ striking. To be able to express our needs, our pains, and our hearts and know that we will be accepted, loved and supported is part of any healing tantric path.

What tantra is not.

When I was asked this question recently by Dr. Michael Harris for a Blog Talk radio show “Is your love life FAST FOOD or GOURMET?” I instantly found myself examining the world and every aspect of life. Where is Tantra not? Would be a better question, however the point of the question is to assist in clearing up the ill use of this sacred holistic art. Tantra has gotten a lot of negative media recently and most of this is caused because of our societies Puritan heritage which even though we don’t want to admit it still shapes our social morals and ideas/thinking in many ways.

Tantra is not solely about sex. Recently there has been much talk about tantric sacred sites and much of what has been revealed is untrue of the consciousness of what was and is happening around the world at these places. Tantra encompasses all of life. It is about weaving all aspects of our life experiences together into bliss and thus increasing our vibration so that we come closer to that Christ- Consciousness or Divine Being (union with God or the Higher Self). Let me give you some items to ponder that are all very tantric living based, meaning that when experiencing life from a state of bliss, a healed body, mind and soul, that are communicating properly one might be able to experience. (real world scenarios too)

  • Imagine if you could be sitting in a board meeting and feeling a level of bliss that you experience when you are with your lover? Would that not be nice?
  • What if you could go to your child’s soccer game and be fully present with no worries of the work day to come, the proposal that needs to be finished, the house chores or bills? You were just there feeling, experiencing your child’s game. How would this affect your life and the life of your loved ones?
  • Imagine that in times of what seems to be chaos you actually could breathe deeply and not react in a nervous, stressful way, but instead approach the situation, no matter what it was with love and a higher level of seeing what was happening?
  • What if the one individual who you have the most bitterness toward you started seeing through loves eyes? Would these scenarios change your current reality into something more pleasurable?

Tantra awakens us to this reality. Sex is used often in tantric teachings to help heighten vibrational levels, heal traumas, unite souls, and teach about bliss, communication, love and presence among many other things. Sacred work is holistic based. No matter what path a practitioner or teacher chooses to assist their clients in achieving a reality of bliss verses chaos, it is all designed according to the gifts of the teachers and the needs and agreement that they have discussed with their clients.

When working with couple’s tantra does indeed go to the depth of full union often(for the client couple). Often, this is not in a first session unless each of the partners has been doing solo work and coaching outside of the union session. Most of the couple’s sessions that I do, for example, are focused on establishing healthy communication, soul appreciation, and breath work, basic tantric massage to assist in love making and in helping the partners heal each other through the body of the emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wounds of the past.  I also teach basic quantum core energtix , which focuses on the energy centers and aura field. Clear blockages and softening the kundalini so that it might uncoil in a healthy manner.

 (It’s important to make known that one does not have to have an active partner or any partner at all to practice tantra or work with a teacher/practitioner or sex coach. That would be like saying you have to be married to go to church and read the bible. Tantra is like any other spiritual practice it is about YOU and YOU alone. Through the union of all aspects of yourself you further open to love and others. Personally I offer, individual goddess sessions, extraordinary gentlemen sessions, couples sessions, programs for all and sex and life coaching (in person and on the phone) as well many bio-energetics based sessions to assist in clearing energy and harmonizing the chakras.)

Through the practice of Tantra which is a spiritual science that makes use of the magical powers of our sexual energy one can experience a holistic healing of Mind, Body, and Soul that traditional medicine is blind too. It has been my personal tale and that of many of my friends, lovers, family and clients that Tantra in its paradox’s and social Taboos is perhaps one of the most powerful transformation tools known to humankind.

Listen to the October 22, 2012 BlogTalk radio Show

“Is your love life FAST FOOD or GOURMET?”