CATCH ME IN THE EXHALE.
CATCH ME IN THE EXHALE
The exchange of more than breath.
The release of more than just air.
The exhale.
The release.
The letting go.
The feeling.
The exchange that can only be experienced when a deep intimacy is present.
We crave to experience it,
We value and fear it.
We know its worth,
But we have little concept of it.
Intimacy,
True intimacy eludes us in our relationships and often throughout our lives..
We hear the tales of intimate love,
Intimacy in our sex,
With God and spirit.
But we hardly grasp what it legitimately is.
That is until we have it upon us.
Breathing its existence into every fiber of our being.
And then we know.
Then it is unquestioned.
Intimacy is the most powerful energy connection that two people can share.
It exceeds the physical dimensions.
It can be felt from opposite sides of the planet,
It is a breathtaking connection of the rarest form.
But why is it so elusive to the majority of people,
For the majority of our lives?
Especially when we crave it,
Work toward it,
Value it and believe that we have it often to only discover that we are not even touching its rim when our reality awakens us to how distant we are in our lives from self, lovers and mates as well as God?
How do we so easily mistaken intimacy for the physical,
Or for communication or time shared?
How do we believe that intimacy is a physical sexual act,
Or something that can only be held in a container with just one?
When intimacy is expansive.
Just like the exhale,
It’s in the letting go and allowing of.
It’s in the leaning into its ebb and flow,
It’s in the energy of the exchange.
The crossing of energetic paths and the meeting of souls that are aligned.
It is the energetics of connection.
It is the depth that we journey into,
That exceeds words, actions and thought.
There is no distance that can prevent us from touching our lover intimately,
Through our sexual energy when we have this connection.
We can go there on the waves of emotion felt,
The visions we share,
The heartbeat of our combined ripples in time.
It is the exhale to our lovemaking,
It is the exhale from our running toward,
It is the exhale in our surrender,
And the exaltation of our joy in our meeting.
Intimacy is an energetic connection that has no reason to the ordinary.
It has no explanation as to why we have it with some and why no matter how hard we work to achieve it with others that it can never be.
There is no true methodology to create it.
It balances on the tightrope of vulnerability and unconditional love.
It needs witnessing and embracing for its truth.
And it can never live when it is controlled, harnessed or demanded to exist when it is not in its natural state.
You must catch it in the exhale of your very existence,
And in the exhale of all that you know and have known.
Because here is the only place where you can discover its beauty and strength.
Its depth and value,
It is the only place that you will be able to appreciate it for what it is and see that it is nothing like that, that you have experienced thus far.
When you release into the exhale of intimacy you will allow yourself to drift without question. You will enjoy the simplest of things and find yourself speaking without a need for words.
The silence of your energetic communication will be met with eye’s of knowing and hearts abound with love.
You will fall in trust into intimacy,
Because it is there to soothe you.
It is there to comfort and hold you in the knowing.
Can you feel it?
Have you felt it?
Truly.
Or are you still captivated by the illusion of what you believe it should be and unhappy with the results of what you have?
Do you find yourself scratching your head in bewilderment at what I speak of.
Unable to grasp its power.
Unwilling still to lean into the challenging space of the unknown.
And let go.
Exhale into all that you crave with life,
With your lover or mate,
Your child and friend,
With God and self.
Intimacy is about the revealing of your deepest self.
It is about taking down all the barriers and being seen.
Intimacy has no boundaries.
Not physical nor space.
And that is the challenge of the human mind.
We resist the inability to control.
We fear what we have no say in.
And so we turn our backs on the beauty of what we crave.
We hide and complain,
We fight for the limitations of it and we disregard the fact that it us that is setting up the walls to this beautiful energetic connection.
It is our eyes that are blinded by fear.
Hidden from our sight by ego.
We can not recognize under the veils that we cover ourselves with the falsities of fear.
And so it remains elusive.
And we sit in our inner chaos,
desiring what we believe it is,
Wanting always for more.
And never satisfied.
Always lost and empty to some degree in the relationship of life.
With our lovers, ourselves and God.
But it is time my love.
It is time to let go and exhale.
That is where you will catch me at.
That is the space that I choose to surrender into and meet you there.
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.” Rumi.
Yes here.
Here my love.
Here is where you will find me,
Witnessing self and life.
Exhaling into intimacy.
Into you.
Into me.
Into life.
Will you catch me in the exhale?
Breath.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
It’s time to receive the lover of your dreams.
It’s time to stop fearing the what ifs.
It’s time to say yes to your F-ck Yes Life,
Now and forever more.
Reach out to me for coaching opportunities globally.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF – I WERE TO TELL YOU I WANTED YOUR SEX, HIS SEX, HIS SEX AND HIS….
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF….
I WERE TO TELL YOU I WANT YOUR SEX…
HIS SEX… HIS SEX… AND HIS…..
That’s a hard pill to swallow no matter if you are a man or a woman hearing it from your partner.
When the one you have invested your life with,
shared so many firsts with,
are doing this thing called life with,
comes to you and says that they desire to explore another,
or a few others.
The first reaction is fear.
The next anger.
And then you question,
“whats wrong with me, why am I not good enough.”
It feels like your partner has just told you that you mean nothing to them.
It feels like they just drove a million swords into your heart,
into your love and happiness.
And you find yourself not trusting.
feeling lonely, jealous and mad AF!
Whether they have acted on the desire of exploring another or not,
Most people struggle with their partners sharing a hunger for anyone but them.
Most feel threatened that their partner would ever even admire someone else.
Let alone say that they may want to explore someone else.
This goes against everything that we have taught since marriage came into play thousands of years ago.
But I tell you this little tidbit of truth in relationships.
No matter if you are in a monogamous or open relationship,
it is crazy stupid to think that all our desire,
all our noticing of others,
all of our attractions end for anyone else on this planet and is to ONLY be directed toward the one that we have sworn our sex too, our hearts too, our lives with.
The belief that desiring another is not healthy is perhaps one of the most toxic beliefs that can fall into a relationship.
It causes shame, guilt and separation in the relationship.
It prevents each party from being truly authentic with self or each other, and it creates a victim mindset.
Think about it,
In our culture that values but does not uphold monogamy we have programmed ourselves to believe everything that is not coming from love.
We say that we unconditionally love someone.
We say that we value honesty and truth above anything.
we say that we want our partner to shine,
to be happy and feel their best.
We claim that freedom is high on our list of desires.
We say that we do not want to own anyone.
And then we do everything in our power to do just the opposite.
And we start by preventing our partner from feeling their truth.
and ourselves as well.
We start by saying that from here forth we are it for each other.
Neither of us will EVER think about, look at or have a desire for anything or anyone outside of this relationship.
And if one of us do,
well we certainly better never admit it,
but if we do have a thought or feeling and it gets seen by the other then that will cause great jealousy and fear.
It will prove that the desiring partner is not to be trusted.
It will prove that the love was not real.
It will prove that there is a lack of commitment.
Here we have some of the greatest lies told to humans in relationships.
THE LIE THAT JEALOUSY IS NORMAL AND IT IS AN INDICATOR OF LOVE.
Jealousy has zero to do with love and everything to do with fear and lack of self-worth. It is about controlling someone else through emotional warfare to hold them in place to where we remain comfortable and feel safe. Jealousy is a sign of insecurity in the one feeling it and has NOTHING to do with actual love.
THE LIE THAT YOU SHOULD MEET YOUR PARTNERS EVERY NEED AND IF YOU DON’T THEN YOU ARE INADEQUATE OR THEY ARE TOO NEEDY.
This is a most unreal expectation placed on all of us in a relationship.
No one will ever be able to meet someone elses every need. No where else in our life experience are we expected to fulfill every need met for any person in our lives, children, friends or work related, we understand that it takes a village to meet all the needs. However when it comes to our sexual/romantic relationships we believe differently.
Here we get trapped in the concept that our partner MUST be our everything. That they must complete us. And if they do not or we cannot for them then we are not good enough or they are not. If we do everything that we can to fulfill every need and fall short then perhaps our partners are too needy, perhaps they want for too much and are even using us or taking us for granted.
When in truth these expectations are simply unreal, causing shame, guilt and feelings of a lack of worthiness or enoughness in one or both parties.
THE IDEA THAT YOUR INSECURITIES ARE YOUR PARTNER’S RESPONSIBILITY TO TIP TOE AROUND AND NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO WORK ON.
We are told that if our partner loves us then they will do everything in their power to not hurt us. To not harm our feelings and that if our feelings get hurt that it is a direct attack from someone who is being selfish and uncaring. We walk into a relationship expecting the other to magically never trigger us into any negative feelings or thoughts and to be able to read our past memories and current moods and thoughts without us having to say anything to them. And when they do not… OMFG! how disrespectful and uncaring.
The blame game is among one of our favorite games to play because it takes our responsibility away from managing ourselves and allows us to manipulate our partners emotions by having them believe that they are so powerful because of the love that we hold for them to make or break us in any given moment. We expect them to change and to grow, to become better so that we can somehow avoid the hassle of ownership of our own mind, hearts and actions. “You made me feel….” ” You should have known…” etc.
The truth is that NO ONE is responsible for our feelings or thoughts. Our hyperactive sensitivity has nothing to with this world or anyone else in it, instead it shows how insecure we are in ourselves about who we are and how we choose to turn over our power consistently in the pursuit to get what we want the most in that moment… control over someone else’s actions, thoughts and feelings. The only person who can ever help us or change us is the person in the mirror and until we fall in love with that person and fully accept them in all their humanness we will never feel secure in the arms of another.
THE BELIEF THAT COMMITMENT IS SYNONYMOUS WITH EXCLUSIVITY.
Commitment = Exclusivity is the common belief. If you desire or need any other romantic/sexual or emotional relationship then you are not committed. Matter a fact you are considered to have commitment fears and issues. This is sort of like saying if you have more than one child you can only be committed to one child and none of the others. There is only so much love to go around. Only so much concern. If you are committed then you should not ever have any curiosity. You should never feel a connection with anyone else.
And if you do, well you are not committed. You are not to be trusted. And certainly do not value the love that you share.
When the truth is that these two are not the same.
To be committed is to be dedicated and loyal to someone.
That does not mean that you have to exclude every other person from your life and all relationships that may trigger your partner.
Commitment is something that is unique by definition to each individual, because loyalty or dedication means something different to each.
Yet in many relationships we believe that once we are with someone that we can no longer have friends of the opposite sex, that we have to be completely different around the opposite sex, and we have to close off our personalities, close down the things that we enjoy and avoid at all cost or risk the perception that we are not committed in our relationship. This also comes back to the concept that we are responsible for our partners’ insecurities.
But it is not true.
THE IDEA THAT YOUR VALUE TO YOUR PARTNER IS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL TO THE AMOUNT OF TIME AND ENERGY THEY SPEND WITH YOU, AND ZERO-SUM COMPETITION WITH EVERYTHING ELSE THEY VALUE IN LIFE – INCLUDING OTHER RELATIONSHIPS.
When we are in a romantic relationship we feel like we need to attach at the hip. After all, this person is our person. This is our best friend, our lover, our life partner. We should want to spend as much time together as possible, right. And if they care, if they really love us then there will be zero competition with anything else in their lives. They will want to be with us more than they want to learn that new skill, or play with their hobby, more than they want to work on themselves or build their career, and they most certainly will ALWAYS choose us over any other relationship.
Just because we are in a romantic relationship does not mean that all of our desire for everything else should go away. It does not mean that we stop wanting to explore and expand alone. It does not mean that we must spend every possible waking moment together nor that we need to experience every first with each other. These are ridiculous, illogical ideas that can not be manifested without killing desire for our partner and creating boredom.
In order for us to crave our partners we must expand as an individual. We must have a life outside of our mate. So often people feel like they have lost themselves, that they don’t know who they are anymore or that their partner does not see them anymore. This all stems from the fact that they prevented the space for growth as an individual and thus lost the magic of the relationship.
THE IDEA THAT BEING OF VALUE TO YOUR PARTNER SHOULD ALWAYS MAKE UP A LARGE PORTION OF HOW YOU VALUE YOURSELF.
You complete me is a common statement that you hear in romantic relationships. The idea of being completed by someone lends to it the concept that because we feel fulfilled by a relationship that if that person ever changes or needs for something else or more that in turn we are not of as much value to them therefore we lose our own self-value because the thing that shows of the evidence of being worthy and valuable/lovable has changed.
This is crazy. Self-worth, love and value should never be sought for or hinge on anything outside of ourselves and our relationship to self and if we believe in God then to God or Source. The outside world and everyone in it just like ourselves are ever changing. We have no control over what occurs outside of ourselves and if we hinge our value on such we will never be strong in who we are or know ourselves. We will never feel safe or be able to trust.
THE IDEA THAT THERE IS A “ONE” OR SOULMATE AND THAT THIS INSURMOUNTABLE LOVE CAN OVERCOME ANY OBSTACLES OR DIFFERENCES.
We buy into the idea that there is only “one” true love and that when we find it that it will be able to conquer all challenges. However, when that does not happen then we feel shortchanged, untrusting and question if love even exists. The reality is that love, any love has its limits because we do not think of love in an unconditional way. We mix love up with need therefore the love that we desire to achieve in our relationships often comes with many hidden expectations as well as feelings of a need to control it out of fear of losing it.
The concept of “the one” is beautiful and brings with it the idea that we are uniquely made just for someone else, meaning that we are indispensable to our partner. However this like so many other toxic beliefs in relationships is illogical. We each are unique no matter what, however if we are so needed by someone else is that love or need that is ruling our relationship and thus heart and with that is there any room for each individual to grow, change or transform as life will do to all of us? There is not under the guise of this belief. Because if we evolve as individuals then we may grow out of certain needs with our soulmate. Thus creating separation and a disconnect if both are not growing singularly as well as a couple.
In truth what we see with “the one” is that we are each “the one” for RIGHT NOW for someone and they for us. And maybe that relationship is romantic, maybe it is not. But what we are to gain from the relationship experience is a greater knowing of self through the experience of another who challenges us, triggers us and calls us forth to become so much more of who we truly are.
These relationship myths and beliefs are an under current to our society. They are put on pedestals in our culture from movies and songs, to paintings and literature. They are focused upon in our spiritual study and ingrained in us from our pastors, family and friends.
All of them lead us to a false concept of love.
Unreal expectations of relationships for self and our partners and separation of self by preventing us from not owning our hearts, our thoughts and feelings, let alone our desires and needs out of fear of losing what we call love that is actually control over another.
No matter the label that you put on your relationship the question that you should ask of yourself and your partner of RIGHT NOW is,
“Can I be me unapologetically and authentically without a fear of losing you because of me being me? “
If you can both answer yes truthfully then you have love and acceptance of self and each other. These are the building blocks to an ever evolving relationship and life.
If not, then you need to ask yourself if sacrificing yourself for your lifetime will ever bring you the happiness and love that you are hoping it will?
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Want to learn more about authentic relating and how to develop a relationship based in unconditional love? Reach out to me to learn more about my couples and individual coaching today.
It’s time to realize that you are worthy of a beautiful relationship.
A LETTER TO THE MAN I SHOULD HAVE MADE LOVE TO…
THIS is My Tagline To Life and HERE IS WHY.
“CBD lovin’, anti-vaxxing, interracial family, sexually open and confident, slutty AF some may say, freedom focused, excepting of all.”
THIS is my lifestyle tagline.
THIS is my family tagline.
THIS is my belief’s tagline.
And why would this be my tag line?
Because I believe in freedom of speach, love, sex, religion,choices in life and believe that no matter who you are, ( race, religion, polical views, sex, sexual preferences, economic standing or other) that WE ARE ALL WORTHY.
Worthy of what you may ask?
Worthy of living.
Not just existing.
Worthy of all the things stated above.
Worthy of having our own opinions.
Worthy of not being shamed or stoned by others ideas, judgements, opinions or fears.
Worthy of just being us.
Many disagree with me on many topics.
And the thing that comes through the most in the conversations and debates is a desire to shush me.
To the point that recently I was multiple times told that I was a bad citizen for my views, that I was not compassionate and did not care for others, that I was a horrible human being, that I should shut up, and that if I get sick to not waste the medical systems time but to just die at home.
All of these statements came because of a disagreement in ideas and beliefs.
Differences of views.
All of these stones thrown had the strong feeling of wanting to shame, control and silence what did not align to their beliefs and views of current.
And as I read through comments of over a hundred plus,
I found myself sitting in gratitude for these individuals’ truth shares.
I am not a person that has an issue with seeing things differently then the masses,
differently then my lover, my child or my friend.
And I know that my views on life are a far cry from average and ordinary.
And it is beautiful to me that we humans are so diverse in our desires, our feelings and beliefs.
It’s what makes us each so unique.
But typically we deeply fear what is not like us.
What is not common or what we perceive as normal.
Our fear makes us want to eradicate whatever is not perceived the same as us.
And this has been our human nature forever.
The reason I do not lay claim to a religion is because religion is a prime example of this belief structure that there is ONLY ONE WAY.
I believe that we are all truly children of God no matter our race, belief, sex or preferences.
I believe that the creator moves through us all.
And that our differences are revealing how diverse God truly is.
I believe that “made in his image” does not refer to our race, sex or other but is actaully speaking of the energy, the life and consciousness, the love that resides in all of us.
I believe that we are each here to learn from one another and that one of our biggest life lessons is to learn to love our differences.
The only way that we can ever do this though is to learn to love ourselves at a deep level first.
To strip ourselves from this concept that we are here to please others ideas, views or beliefs about us.
Self-love comes from seeing our light and darkness and making peace with them both.
Self- love comes from knowing our own value.
Self- love comes from respecting ourselves enough to not sway to the worlds ideas and perceptions, nor to just give up ourselves because we make another uncomfortable with our views and beliefs.
Self- love is mandatory if we are to ever have true unconditional love for any other human as well.
And compassion can only come when we have it for ourselves first.
Same for any positive characteristic that we value such as respect or understanding.
If we believe that we are responsible for everyone elses everything and they for our feelings, fears and hopes then all we are showing is our lack of clarity within who we are.
To have understanding,
we need to listen,
we need to inquire,
we need to learn to breathe and not be so reactive,
jumping to conclusions.
We need to realize that this person that we want to have understand us,
desires the same.
The majority of our fights in our world and in our own homes comes about because we suck at communication skills.
And the ones listed above are the highlighted ones that need attention from all of us.
The radical conversations that are traveling around the world right now are just highlighting the true poison that resides within each of our lives.
It is fear.
And it is fear of differences more than anything else.
And so we run around pointing fingers and laying blame on everyone who thinks differently or looks differently proclaiming that we love unconditionally, stating that we are wanting peace, freedom, well being for all but continuing the blame game as we spew out our hatred and lack of toleration or desire to understand our fellow human beings.
All the while believing that we love ourselves and that is why we are fighting and hating.
When we speak such poison as some of the things I have heard the last few weeks it saddens my soul at how many people truly are lost within themselves and hold so much anger and hatred.
When we can get to a point where we can agree to disagree and still love our fellow human despite the difference,
then we will be in a place where we can heal and make true change in our world as well as in our communities and home.
But this will only happen when we can learn to love ourselves deeply. To look within ourselves and love all our flaws, all our sins, all our wounds as well as our beauty.
Until then,
we will remain lost and hateful.
To freedom.
To love.
To all our beautiful differences.
Be the change, start loving unconditionally today, ‘starting with yourself.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Want to learn more about self-love practices that can transform your reality from average and ordinary to a F-ck Yes Life? Message me today.
The Land Of Nobody…
Good Morning Beautiful!
How did you sleep?
Were your slumbers restful and pleasant or did they have you tossing in your bed?
Did you wake refreshed, vibrant and charged for this day or are you among the many of the walking dead,
those who cannot bear the idea of waking because it’s just another groundhog day?
Day in and day out,
the same events,
the same stories,
the same people.
Waking with a feeling of “why?”
And does any of it,
Especially me, even matter?
Looking about your life and questioning if anyone truly cares.
Or are they only there for what you have to offer,
at their convenience.
Yes, you know that feeling.
That feeling of,
“Nobody sees me. Nobody loves me. Nobody cares.”
This beautiful is the Land of Nobody.
And it is not a pretty place to reside.
It is not a place that you can manifest your dreams from,
it will never call into your life your ideal lover,
the money that you crave for,
the health or success.
It will never bear the fruit of happiness.
Because you see beautiful,
the Land of Nobody,
is a fictitious land that you have created your misery from.
It is a land that you have bought into,
because it is what you feel comfortable in.
Oh yes,
I just said that beautiful.
The Land of Nobody is one that brings you comfort.
That is a hard pill to swallow I know.
But it is so true.
Just as true as it is that this land will not bring you what you claim you want for,
and most certainly will not bring you what your soul is calling you toward,
and you see THAT is exactly why you are feeling so lost in yourself,
so alone,
so unloved,
so fearful,
so unseen,
unheard,
uncared for or valued.
And it is from this place of “UN” that you keep calling in the evidence to support your comfort in suffering.
You feel all the “UN” because IT IS NOT TRUE.
Your soul KNOWS differently.
Your soul see’s who you really are and what your life has to offer,
but you are withholding yourself from all your glory by focusing in on the finding of the evidence,
the proving to yourself and anyone who will listen,
that you are in the Land of Nobody wants me.
And the sad truth beautiful is that as long as you sit here,
focused on the “UN” and the nobody with such passion,
you will NEVER be able to “fix” the problem of what you are manifesting.
You will never feel loved.
You will never feel valued.
You will never feel wanted.
From this space.
And you will certainly not attract anyone into your world that will “MAKE YOU” feel that way.
Because you have created and keep creating a great momentum around not having it show up for you,
that even when the universe/God sends things into your life,
to show you how abundant and loved you really are,
you reject them by looking the other way,
or pushing your will onto life in an attempt to control it and “make it” happen,
thus supporting your need to show that you can’t have it without a fight.
Your belief is that life is hard.
That you must suffer.
That you have to work hard to get things that you want.
Your belief is that life is out to get you in some fashion and does not have your back.
But that belief is just a thought that you keep active by focusing on finding evidence for it.
You “think” it is such and therefore it is.
But you have to change the thoughts in your head,
and the way you are feeling about your life.
You have the WAKE THE F-CK UP.
And start witnessing what could be by putting your focus on that and then not trying to force it into existence.
God/Universe does not like being controlled like that,
Does not like having its hands tied,
and if you keep tieing them then you will keep getting what you have been,
because what you want for gets offered day in and day out,
opportunities to have it knock at your door,
but you keep your door locked up tight not allowing the Universe/God to reveal to you your value, your worthiness.
So if you won’t let the energy that has created universes to show you a brilliant life worth living and enjoying,
and all your dreams manifesting,
then how the f-ck do you ever expect the people in your life to show it to you?
YOU BEAUTIFUL have to open up to it.
You are the only one who can access any of it.
Putting your needs and desires onto others and then getting mad that they won;t do what you want,
when you want,
how you want,
is a self-centered, spoiled, egotistical action.
And will only keep providing you with not having.
So if you are among the millions who woke up today,
focused on not having what you want in life,
feeling like you are unloved,
unappreciated,
“UN” somethinged….
Then this message is directed at you.
Because I fully understand that feeling of “UN”
that feeling of walking around the Land of Nobody,
and I can tell you that no solution or joy ever came from this place.
And we each may venture into this land every now and then,
but it is up to us,
and ONLY US,
venture right back out.
So take back your power beautiful,
stop handing it over to the ebbs of your life,
stop looking to not be supported,
and instead KNOW that you are with certainty.
Know that you are loved,
because you love yourself enough to wake the f-ck up and feel it for yourself,
you love yourself enough to stop disrespecting your life,
and instead to open up to it and receive its glory.
You are worthy beautiful.
You are loved.
You are appreciated and valued.
Venture In Certainty for what you want not what you fear.
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Let’s do this!
You and me,
this summer.
Break free from your shiz once and for all and fall in love with the dynamic, powerhouse that YOU are.
No one is like you.
And you have a life worth sharing,
worth enjoying.
You have one life love.
One.
Let’s make it a F-ck Yes! One NOW.
Message me for deet’s on how to do this.
What You Want For, Is Already Yours. – Here Is How.
OMFG! Do I ever have the travel bug up my butt!
Here I sit, the sun is out,
it’s freaking beautiful outside,
and my soul,
which likes to hop a plane every 5 weeks or so to go somewhere in our world is stir crazy from just popping around the back yard, a few parks and lakes and hanging with my closests peeps.
I am sure you can feel me on this.
I just want my feet in the sand,
or to breathe in the crisp air of the mountains,
or hike through a rainforest.
I don’t need to go popping through a city or even a village and meet new peeps.
I need mother nature,
and I need it outside of my own backyard.
I need to be set free.
And I am sure you do too.
But you see, freedom is not something that we gain from the outside.
Much like love, compassion, empathy, worthiness, or forgiveness,
freedom does not come from the outside first.
It is a feeling.
Just like all the other feelings I just listed.
And if we focus on the feeling,
and we just enjoy it for what it is,
and that is what we want,
then we already have at any given moment what we desire.
But we tend to get caught up with saying that we want this feeling…
whatever that might be,
or we might even go as far to claim that we already have it,
and say that we are so grateful for it,
but when it comes down to it,
we are looking for the results of something physical to happen to support that feeling that we were playing with.
And that’s just the issue.
We play with our feelings.
We don’t just have them and enjoy them and let them be the seeds to the life that we want,
we play with them and toss them all about,
then as with anything we are playing with,
we get tired of them,
or we drop them and…. oops, they shatter.
When we drop a feeling we do it by taking our focus off of the enjoyment of the feeling just being with us and start to look for physical evidence of the feeling,
such as the money in the bank,
the lover in our bed,
the return of a healthy body,
etc.
And when we do this,
crash… the feel leaves us and we are left with doubt.
We are left with fear.
Because now we fall back into the concept that we have to have this outside “thing” to be the feeling.
And if that “thing” is not there then obviously we cannot be the feeling we want.
So we attach our feelings to objects and relationships.
We attach our joy and happiness to these things and we steal our beautiful life from ourselves when we do this.
I will not lie,
I want to travel. And I want to get out of dodge quickly,
I am antsy as all heck.
And I will most likely book myself and family a VRBO on the gulf of Mexico sometime in the next two weeks.
Cuz, that’s the way I roll.
But, until that, I am not going to focus on the not happening right now in the physical aspect.
Because the reality is…
MY LIFE IS EFFING AMAZING.
and I am free.
I am free to think the thoughts that I want.
I am free to think and feel good vibes.
I am free to increase my vibration.
I am free to smile.
I am free to laugh.
I am free to grow.
I am free to enjoy the people that I want to enjoy.
I am free to delight in life.
I am free to share my joy.
I am free to focus my attention to the life that I am calling in and the life expansion that I want for.
I am free….
Because I feel free RIGHT NOW.
And it will stay such as long as I keep my focus on feeling it NOW.
So luv…
IT’S EFFING TIME!
It’s time to cut loose.
It’s time to say lets get a move on.
It’s time to open up and stop feeling so much reservation about everything.
It’s time to know your power.
It’s time to stop being fearful of everything.
It’s time to make some shit happen.
It’s time to call it all in and live it.
It’s time.
It’s your time.
It’s time to own your freedom.
Own your worthiness.
Own your lovability.
Own your power.
But you have to be willing to want for it enough to let yourself have it right now,
because THAT is the only way you will ever attract it in physical manifestation.
Are you ready to set yourself free?
Lets Go.
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.
It is time that you say YES to you.
Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.
Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.
The Story You Need To Tell Yourself Daily.
I am worthy!
The story of today that I choose to focus on and expand in.
I am worthy!
It often feels like a lie to write those words and there is resistance in my claiming of them.
I am worthy!
At writing them my gut turns over,
I feel butterflies and my heart feels constricted.
I am worthy!
I can hear the yelling in my head that it is not so.
Who am I to try and claim such nonsense.
I am worthy!
My eyes tear up as I write the statement more and more.
I feel the emotion attached.
I am worthy!
Breathing deep, allowing my chest to expand,
my heart says allow,
my mind screams in opposition.
I am worthy!
The struggle is real.
And I am at war within myself.
It’s crazy to listen to the clambering of my negativity.
I am worthy!
The seed has been planted.
Its taking root,
perhaps a sprout will appear.
There is hope.
I am worthy!
Anxiety in the possibility.
I can feel a tug at my core pulling me to something.
Something I want to label the truth,
but scares me still.
I am worthy!
I breathe deep again.
Feeling my body rise and fall.
The tears are there,
but now I feel a gentle comfort as though I am being held by something I cannot see.
I am worthy!
I want to be.
And so we have the breaking of the soil and a sprout.
I am worthy!
Looking around,
I see my material world,
my home that I love and maintain with ease,
my car that I am grateful for,
a house full of comforts, luxuries and food.
All that seems stable,
and constant in my life experience.
I do not struggle.
I move with ease.
Life always is providing for me.
There is proof around every corner.
I am worthy!
Perhaps I already know it is true?
Perhaps, I have known forever even.
Perhaps under all the chaos and noise of outside influences,
of fear and judgement,
there is a knowing.
Can it be true?
I am worthy!
Of course I am.
Just look and feel.
Breathe deeper and let the body speak,
move past the reservation,
the constriction,
and feel the heart.
The soul.
There is a budding there.
There is truth.
God does not give to us a desire that cannot be.
And what we desire is already granted,
we must just believe to receive.
I am worthy!
And so are you.
Say it with me this morning…..
I AM WORTHY!
I AM WORTHY!
I AM WORTHY!
YES YOU ARE.
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.
It is time that you say YES to you.
Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.
Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.
Say It With Me! Commitment Is Everything.
OMFG!
So there I was leg up on the lip of my shower,
shaving the back of my thigh,
hot water washing down my back,
irritating me because it was washing out my conditioner prematurely,
when it came to me.
I figured out why I have a resistance to love.
Not just to love,
but to allowing myself to fall deeply,
penetratively in love with my man,
with my life,
with ME.
I was flabbergasted at my realization. 🤦♀️
How could I be so silly to not have caught this before.
Perhaps I was just unwilling to see it.
Perhaps I was not ready to fully let go.
Perhaps a whole lot of shit to be frank about it,
and the reality is simple.
I,
Me,
have been holding myself back from the feelings and experiences that I have desired for the last two plus years almost.
Crazy as it sounds.
It is true.
And thanks to my shower today and now nicely shaved legs,
I was blessed with the ability to change it.
Because you see you cannot change something until you awaken to the fact that it needs changed in the first place.
Which is why life is the way that it is.
Sure we get ample opportunity to see what needs to happen,
we feel it at our cores often,
but we humans tend to disregard anything that is not smack dab in our faces presenting a challenge.
AKA a PROBLEM.
Which is why we create problems for ourselves.
We need them to expand.
To grow and to create the life that we are called to live.
Problems allow us to witness what needs attention,
what needs improvement,
change.
And often they rise up from our “feelings”
yes those nasty things that we are told to not pay much attention too because they will misguide us.
But the reality is that our feelings are there to guide us.
They are there to tell us when we are not in alignment to our souls path.
And that causes us pain.
Of some sort.
So what do we do?
We get into a sticky painful situation,
and we COMMIT to change our evil ways.
We commit to work harder.
Work smarter.
To not trust so easily.
To take better care of our bodies and our hearts.
We commit to trying harder.
And the list goes on.
And don’t get me wrong, commitments make our realities.
However, the trick is knowing what you committed to and if the commitment is in alignment with your soul’s desire.
You see, this commitment that I made about two and half years ago, was not ultimately in alignment with my heart or soul. It was a commitment made out of pain.
Intense pain, my heart was breaking and I was scared and angry at this for happening. I was not understanding why it was happening or how this could even be. And in my suffering I stated to the person who I blamed with great emotional attachment,
” I will NEVER love again.”
I went on to tell him that I would never trust a man again or surrender the way I had with him, that if this is what it got me then it was too big a price to pay and I was committing to not not allow myself to get hurt again at this level.
You may think that those were just words,
that I could just ignore and carry on.
That someone awesome could turn around and walk into my life and change my commitment.
And perhaps,
perhaps that might be so.
But it has not been so for me.
Instead my other commitments to myself that I wrote down prior to this one above, started to knock heads with this commitment and even though I had manifested a wonderful man into my world,
not just any man BTW,
but a man that I scripted out in my journal and who has 75% of my list of desires in a man,
yeah… not bad for a day’s worth of journaling work.
Yeah, not even he could break through this commitment to love.
And so, it has been that the last two years I have consistently kept myself “safe from love” not allowing myself to feel what I have wanted to feel fully and getting repeatedly upset with the world and my life and soul because of it but not catching the root of my issue.
MY COMMITMENT.
This morning as I thought about it,
and as life would have it all week long,
I have had plenty of opportunity to read through old journal entries as I clean up areas of my home.
My soul most certainly is on a mission to CONFIRM to me that I am really great at holding commitment to myself.
Especially commitments made with strong emotional attachment.
A few years back,
when I was struggling financially to get over the $100k a year mark in my practice, I committed to myself and wrote it faithfully for months on end in my journal that,
“I commit to make no less than $95,000 a year from this moment forward.”
That year I made $146k.
And I have not looked back since.
I also wrote,
” I commit to having my schedule booking out 4 months in advance.”
And it still remains so that my schedule is booking 4 to 6 month in advance.
” I commit to being recognized on TV.”
And shortly thereafter, was called by Lifetime TV to work on an episode of Married at First Sight.
My list of commitments is long.
My list of emotionally supported commitments is long.
Some emotions however, support my soul’s desires.
And some do not.
My shower realization is that although commitments are thought to be a good thing,
and they most certainly do mean the world.
That what we as individuals need to understand,
is the true power of our words.
Of our commitments to self.
And what we say in passion sticks with us and sometimes can get buried under our day to day lives and thoughts.
Sometimes these commitments we carry for a lifetime,
and they can be the root cause to us not thriving no matter how hard we work,
to not feeling love, no matter how hard we love,
to not feeling safe,
no matter how hard we try and make ourselves trust.
Commitments make our realities.
Let’s start being conscious of them,
and changing the ones that no longer serve.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Watch: Say It With Me!Commit to NOT Lick Your Phone
Take advantage right now of a lifetime opportunity to work with me in my intensive 4 week mastermind where you get to work 1:1 with me to learn the keys that I woke up to back in 2009 and changed my whole life outcome with. Let me guide you through the turbulence of the storms and show you the power of letting go of fear so that you can create the life of dreams, you know that you desire and deserve it. Let’s make it happen. Message me for deet’s