I have sex probably 25 to 40 times a month.
How about you?
Sounds like a lot?
What is your opinion.
Not that your opinion matters to my sex life,
but it may matter to your sex life.
And here is what you need to be considering on this Valentine’s day….
💃Why do I have sex?
💃Why do I say no to sex?
💃What is it that I am hoping to achieve from sex?
💃How does sex serve me in life?
Sex causes us humans a bunch of problems in relationship.
And the main reason for the issues that it stirs is that we are focused on the scarcity of the sex in our lives.
Most relationships today have at least one partner if not both wanting for more of something…
More time together without distraction.
And this desire for something and the concentration we put on the evidence that we do not have it is what causes us to keep not having it.
Not having as much or the kind that we are wanting for with any of the above.
This feeling of lack then leads us to searching for it elsewhere.
Now this does not always mean an affair in the sort of sexual or even emotional with another human being….
Now sometimes we fill the void that has emerged (and we keep there with our certainty of it being there) with such things as work, exercise, hobbies, worry, booze, illegal and legal substances, etc.
Yeah you can “cheat” on your partner with any of these things.
We just don’t always view it as cheating because it is not sex and it is not another human that is taking our primary focus away from our intimate relationship or partner,
but in truth it’s possibly worse to “cheat” with one of these things then an actual human being.
I mean at least with another human you gain the possibility of filling up that void to some degree, where these items will only mask the real issues and keep you empty from the nutrient that you are searching for.
(Now, I am not saying go cheat on your partner in any fashion… I am just bringing some things to light and why people cheat to begin with.)
You may be wondering why I am choosing to discuss affairs on Valentines Day….
Well, today happens to be one of the BIGGEST days of the year that couple’s lie to each other.
Over fifty percent of couple’s have at least one partner stepping out of the relationship in secret to get their intimate needs met.
Over fifty percent of marriages are sexless.
Over 70% of women have said that they have had on multiple accounts sex they did not want with their partner, and many of them count this act as a sort of rape.
Sexual disease is on the rise…. with monogamous couples 🤔
Yeah… I just said that… do the math….
Studies have been done in recent times showing that over 20% of children in monogamous relationships are not the fathers.
And the statistics list just keeps going on.
So we lie to our partners about our intimate needs and desires.
We coddle them so as to not hurt their feelings, taking responsibility and stealing their power from them by making these choices to not speak our needs and truths to the very people we claim to be best friends with.
To claim that we want to live our lives with,
that we fully trust…
well fully as long as that mean’s that we don’t have to be vulnerable about sex to them.
That is pushing the envelope a tad bit too much.
So we refrain and lie.
Sex causes us humans a bunch of issues.
We are scared of our sex.
We are ashamed of it.
We even hate on it and don’t trust ourselves or our partners with it.
But we sure want more of it and are focused on not having enough of it, are we not?
It is beacuse sex equals:
👉 Makes us feel worthy – it affirms that we are worthy of someone else’s attention and feeling good.
👉Makes us feel lovable – it is evidence that our partner loves us.
👉Makes us feel desired – if our partner gives us sex then that means they want us.
👉Makes us feel happy – if we have an orgasm/climax then chemicals are released that help us to feel less stress and happy
I have heard many a man say, “Sex makes me feel powerful and that I am a man!”
I have heard a lot of women say, “Sex makes me feel used and that it is my duty.”
Do you see it?
I hope so.
And here is where sex causes us relationship issues at an even deeper level.
Here is where bitterness, resentment and anger,
as well as traum get stored up.
And where other problems ( such as the one’s at the beginning of this musing) get their roots for.
A sexless marriage did not start that way.
It became that way for this reason here above.
Partners are using each other to make themselves feel something that they have not emotionally mature enough to find withinside themselves,
and so they search outside of themselves and when it is given and then taken away,
it creates a sexual codependency.
And their very “worthiness” is rooted in their partners willingness to have sex with them.
In reverse, many partners fear stating their truth from early on because of the highly normal fear of abandonment or need of their mate in some fashion for survival.
So, at the end of the day when the truth is not spoken but is heard in the core of each, you find one if not both partners smiling, telling a lie and finding their fulfillment outside of their relationship.
Is there hope?
Is the answer having more sex or no sex with you rmate?
Yes there is hope.
If both partners are dedicated to the relationship and want healing for self first and relationship second,
then they can work toward a solution and happy intimacy path.
Is more or no sex the answer?
Forced sex on either spectrum is never going to be healing or supportive of the relationship.Getting in your truth and working together in compassion and love is the path to wher eyou want to get.
Changing your focus from scarcity and fear to love and appreciation can move mountains.
Want to learn more about stratigies to overcome affairs, build authentic communication and reelating and heal your sex life?
Reach out to me today to learn about coaching opportunities that can support you in love, sex and life.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers.”
*photography credit to Photography In Wonderland
Here I sit working with clients today, the day after a yummy relaxing Christmas, where I find myself in total gratitude.
I sit here doing some marketing,
following up with my 1:1 clients,
signing a couple new 1:1 clients and getting them started with the onborading process,
when some misunderstanding soul,
reaches out and asks:
“So what do I get for the $197 that you are offering in your 12 Days of F-cking Awesomeness Bundle?”
Now you have to understand that we online coaches/marketers and educators welcome with open arms inquiry of all kinds,
and we love making sure that our followers are happy and getting exactly what they think they are.
Matter a fact today’s online world is ALL about giving away more in value then expected.
The smart online educators, coaches know the impact that they can have and offer up a massive amount of free or low cost education and content and are feeding their followers daily.
We aim to share massive value in our online courses and workshops. We want you expanding, learning, and being the best versions of yourselves and get that not everyone can afford our private rates.
So when asked the question above,
of course I shared that this was a massive savings.
I mean shiz, you are getting up to $1800 of value and then some, because the same content in private would cost you ten’s of thousands of dollars in coaching hours.
But RIGHT NOW you save even more and get it for ONLY $197.
It’s a no f-cking duh sorta thing!!!
Litterly you could take the next year to work through your chosen bundle and come out the other side with some massive shift in your:
and life in general.
But this sweet confused soul thought that I was offering up my private coaching for $197.
I would go broke and be homeless and a really shitty coach to boot for under valuing myself so much if I did that.
The reality of my private coaching practice is that I fall in love with my peep’s.
I get real, raw and authentically down to the core with them.
Knowing them at levels that they may have never been seen at before and teaching just how amazing they really are.
My clients become my friends,
I give to them random moments on any given day to lean on me.
We text constantly.
We talk on the phone through beautiful and tradgic moments.
share and are deeply intimate in our vulnerabilty.
And although I wish I could offer this sort of relationship for such a price of $197 or even free,
it is honestly priceless and those who work with me I am confident would second my statement here.
A coach who does not chage what they are worth,
simply does not value themselves and has not stepped into their power or self- love yet.
A coach who does not know the power of their words,
their stories and gudiance,
and offers it for free or for some rediculous price because they feel that servitude should mean being a broke a*s who is struggling instead of thriving,
simply does not believe in the value of coaching.
Or the value of who they are and what they have to offer.
They themselves don’t get it and most likely don’t have a real mentor or coach in their lives pushing them up.
And I don’t know about you but,
but who would you follow?
The person selling you snake oil because they themselves don’t get it and don’t value it.
The person who leads by example,
has evidence of it and
is not afraid to value themselves.
Their education and experiences.
And demands that in order for you to work with them that the first step is to do the value yourself enough to INVEST.
We all need to start somewhere when we decide that we want to work on ourselves.
We have to choose where we can start.
And aultimatley it does not matter where you start.
What matters is:
1) you start somewhere
2) you value yourself enough to invest in YOU
3) you are coachable
Everything else will follow.
My question for you today is simple.
Do you value YOU?
If you are in business for yourself are you charging what you are worth? Or are you scared of your value?
If you are wanting change in your life in any area do you value that area of your life enough to say YES to the change?
And the helping hand that you most likely will have to hire in some format to guide you to your desired outcome.
You are worth the life that you want.
You are valuable in this world and to the people you share your message with and yourlife with.
Never undervalue the work that you do.
The art that you make.
The message that you share.
Or the changes that you need tomake to have the life that you want.
When we under value anothers help,
we thus under value ourselves too.
And KNOW You Are VALUABLE.
I love you.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Reach out to me today to learn about my 2020 New Years Resolution Special on my 1:1 coaching.
NO ONE GETS TO DECIDE IF YOU ARE WORTHY! YOU JUST ARE ALREADY.
Yes that thing that you may think you are lacking in or don’t even have any of.
But the reality love is that you were born with a massive amount of it.
So much so that it’s not in question,
not even a smidgen in question.
Not by God love.
ONLY BY YOU.
And that is what is holding you back.
It’s your lack of belief in your worthiness.
You for some reason think that your worthiness is up for debate,
that you have to earn it somehow.
That if you run around like a chicken with its head cut off that you will get more of it.
That if you live for everyone else,
and put yourself behind them all that THEN ,
then you will be a step closer to earning a little worthiness.
But even then,
even after you have buried yourself in commitments and exhausted yourself in the keeping of everyone else’s expectations and idea’s of you and for them,
YOU STILL FEEL without it.
I get it love.
I truly do.
It’s a daily battle you could say,
to wake the f-ck up and KNOW YOU ARE WORTHY without question.
But if you want all that you want.
If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.
If you are READY to BE READY.
Then it time that you accept that you were born WORTHY AF!!!
Don’t you get it love?
God moves through you and I.
God creates with your hands.
Unfolds the evolution of this planet and its people through you and I.
This world moves forward because of what we manifest into existence.
And we can only create what we do with the guidance of SOUL.
And soul is the voice of God in us.
Together we create all that is and all that ever will be.
But is a joint work.
And because of this very factor and the nature of you and I being co-creators with God,
makes us worthy of all of our desires.
The desires that you want to manifest into existence were put there by the creator.
It is your hands,
your voice and eye’s,
that make it happen though.
It is through you that God has concentrated focus.
It is by your viewing of the world,
and you feeling of life,
and how it unfolds,
that desire is birthed.
And opportunity is seen.
As you move through this existence,
and you feel the ebbs and flows of all that can be created,
you gain a hunger for something beautiful to unfold.
You crave more.
You smile and you cry.
You get frustrated and you excited.
These are the emotions of creation,
because they birth desire.
And in the desire becoming aware in YOU,
God see’s it,
and evolution happens.
YOU WILL NEVER BE CONTENT.
You will never reach a point in your life where you desire for no more.
You will always want to create MORE.
This is the desire of God,
The greatest artist.
Working with you,
to paint a breath taking picture,
And because you are breathing love.
You need not ever question your worthiness.
Because you are hungry,
you need not ever question your potential.
Because you are feeling pushed and pulled,
you need not ever question your footing.
God is there love.
You just need to surrender to the path that is before you.
It is yours.
And in your stepping forward,
God will paint the path.
God does not make unworthy things.
And God does not work hand in hand or through unworthy things.
God is working through you,
So stop questioning so much.
Allow your blessings to flow.
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living – YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Want some extra support in co-creating your masterpiece?
That where God moves through me,
helping people like you who get that they are worthy AF and want to be conscious co-creators with God in the painting of a beautiful life but are still uncertain as to how to fully tap in and surrender that that they feel at their core.
Yes here is where I assist YOU.
Want to connect and say YES to YOU?
Let’s go! – You are worthy.
Message me for deet’s.
But at the end of the day,
It doesn’t f-cking matter either way.
They came into your life for a reason.
This you can be sure
How long someone hangs with you baby,
Well that is upto your spiritual contract with them.
What do I mean by that?
What kind of crazy new age concept is a spiritual contract anyway?
In this instance I am referring to the lessons you gain from the relationship. And EVERY relationship teaches us something.
Its important to realize that we are in relationship WITH EVERYTHING and EVERYONE in our lives too.
So get right with that RIGHT NOW gorgeous.
Those short meetups, hook ups, chatting and getting no where with people that pop through your life and wonder WTF was that about?
Was there to present some lesson or deeper understanding into your life,
Into who you are,
And how you are VIBING.
And when they leave.
You can say it doesn’t matter anyway.
And it doesn’t!
As long as you got from them what you were meant to.
Were you present enough in that relationship,
No matter how short lived it was or not,
No matter the drama,
Did you get your lesson beautiful?
Cuz if you chose to get caught up in the ego of what happened,
and you missed the lesson,
You are going to have to rinse and repeat.
And that’s why you run into the same people over and over again just with a different face,
And when you get caught up in the ego of the loss,
You loose something much more significant and valuable then that relationship.
You loose a piece of you.
When you sit a stare at the people who are unliking or unfollowing you on social media,
When you pay more attention to who is not paying attention to you,
When you wait for the lack of response from that person you went out on a date with,
Or hooked up with,
When you get caught up in the certainly that so and so will apologize or come back,
When you wait….
You loose yourself.
And at the end of your days beautiful,
It doesn’t f-cking matter anyway.
Thier shut down.
None of it matters.
And you deserve so much better.
But here is the thing,
YOU have to allow yourself to have better.
YOU have to stop making yourself available for that shiz.
YOU have to stop resisting your beauty,
And you have to get THAT lesson.
The best is yet to come.
You just have to change what your looking for.
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.
GIVE YOURSELF THE DAMN PERMISSION.
It’s time beautiful to stop accepting so little for what you want.
It’s time to stop being available for all this shiz that is not serving you.
It’s time for you to OWN WHO YOU ARE and scale your life up to match that version of you.
But here is the thing gorgeous,
in order for you to do this,
to have that, that you so desire and feel that you cannot not do/have….
You MUST give yourself the damn permission.
You must give yourself the permission to receive the success,
receive the love,
receive the healing,
receive the lifestyle,
Until you stop settling for suffering and lack,
until you commit to having what you want and you KNOW that you are worthy of,
you will never achieve it.
You will not call in what you want until YOU,
no one else make it so.
And you do this by giving yourself permission to be the damn person that you know that you are.
You do this by not accepting your reasons and excuses anymore and calling out your own bullsh*t.
You do this by applying not harder or more work,
but by applying your SOUL – led callings and heart to your life.
You do this by no longer closing your eye’s and hoping that ignoring it, that it will magically go away, all the while you sit around and fantasize about the horror that will happen.
STOP THAT SHIZ!
When you have decided that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired of not living up to the person that you know that you are,
when you have had enough of the not having the life that you want,
when you are FINALLY exhausted enough,
and gotten to the point of done,
and realized that NO ONE else on this planet is going to ever
come in and say,
“Hey you… yeah you with the big dreams and goals. You who deserves to have it all… you who has been working your ass off for so long and struggled so much… yeah you…. I GIVE YOU PERMISSION to have it now.”
Yeah that is not going to happen beautiful.
People may support you in different ways.
Your tribe will pat you on the back and love on you.
Your mentors will love you with some deep inquiry work and a smile of knowing.
But NO ONE ELSE will ever be able to give you permission to step the f-ck up to who you are meant to be and JUST BE IT!
That is all you BABY!
There is nothing that anyone else can do to get you to shift,
to scale up your life, your business,
to get you to heal quicker, love more open, trust again…
The only person who can give you the damn thing that you need RIGHT NOW…
Which happens to be permission to be unstoppable.
Permission to have it all.
Permission to BE YOU – unapologetically.
So what is stopping you?
When will you have had enough of your own bullshit?
When will you finally be tired of accepting so little for your life and your joy?
When will your suffering no longer serve you?
Because as long as you accept your suffering as something that is giving you the attention that you need,
as long as you keep leaning in on your reasons, worries, doubts and excuses,
the one thing you will be guaranteed is that you WILL NOT have what you want in work, love or life.
But you have to get to enough being enough.
You have to want for your own joy more than your suffering.
You have to embrace the reality that there is another way to connect other than through drama and pain body.
You have to want to release the bondage that you have put yourself in.
And when you reach this pivotal point on your path to CLAIMING YOUR LIFE…
You will give yourself the damn permission.
And then baby,
it’s LIGHTS OUT to all that holds you back.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Ready to say yes to your life,
to claim the lifestyle that you want.
Ready to love yourself.
To have the money, time, love, freedom that your soul craves for?