Your Criticism Enables My Scarcity Mindset.

 

Your criticism enables my scarcity mindset!

Why can’t you just be happy for me?
Why can’t you just smile and let me live my life?
Why do you have to always try and fix what you deem broken,
when perhaps….

Just perhaps its not broken at all.

I get that your intent is not to slice me to the bone.
I get that you have no concept of the shame, the fear, the lack of worthiness that you trigger each time you aim to fix what you think needs fixing.

But honey beware.

Your words are powerful.
although you do not control me.
Ultimately it is my choice to fall prey to your desire for my brokenness,
be warned that these words you cast upon me and others,
be warned that these judgements,
these criticism’s have power.
And even the strongest in nature,
those of us who rebel from the control,
yes even us can be penetrated after time,
with these words of fear.

As time passes and you search for more weakness in me,
as you look for how you can save me,
teach me,
heal me,
support me,
your words become like Chinese water torture,
like nails on a chalk board.
They make me cringe,
they set me on defense.
They steal away my ability to feel you.

And now I stand here guarded.
Ready to take my punishment.
Now before I even start to share,
before I take any step forward or to the side,
I already hear your words of criticism,
and I know…
I know that no matter what I do,
no matter how turned on I am to my life,
no matter how much in flow and a state of passion I might be,
no matter the creative genius that wants to stem from my core.

I know.
I know that in your eye’s I am broken.
I know that in your mind I need to learn.
I know that you see me as this child,
this silly naive thing that needs your saving,
needs your fixing.
And so why bother?
Why even try and speak my truth?
Why try and do anything,
because I already know.

And so I settle into the average and ordinary.
I settle into the surface level relating.
Depth and being seen is too painful.

I feel stupid.
I feel dumb.
I feel ugly.
I feel unlovable.
I feel like no matter what,
it does not matter,
because I am wrong.

Or I will get it wrong.
Or it will be messed up by my touch,
by my words,
it’s just me.
And I should just not be.

Your criticism enables my scarcity mindset!
You enable me to not step up and be all that I can be.
You enable me to fear my power.
You enable me to fear my creative soul.
You enable me to keep hating myself.
You enable me to see all my lack of worth.
You enable me….

AND FOR WHAT?

Do you really believe that your words of judgement will entice me into becoming more?
Do your really believe that you know my calling,
my purpose,
my heart better than I or God?
Do you think that your need to fix me is inspiring?

Because it is not!
And lucky for me…
I will never listen.
And when I feel these chisels from you to cut me down,
to make me fear,
to make me become logical.

Yes lucky for me,
I am a F-CK YOU!

and I will move away.
I will step back.
I will turn around.
I will not listen.

Instead I will laugh.
Because you,
you are the lost one.
You are the broken one.
You are the one that needs me.

But honey,
that you will not ever have.
Because the tribe I run too,
is a tribe that is wild.
A tribe that is free.
A tribe that is supportive through love.
Supportive through the building up.
Through the appreciation.
Yes that is my tribe.

And so I encourage you to stop this ridiculous need of cutting down, and finding fault, of looking for what is broken or wrong.
I encourage you to instead step into your power.

I encourage you to look for what makes you happy with me.
What makes you happy with life.
What makes you happy with you.

Because all this criticism although seeming pointed at me,
it is not I that you actually have issue with,
it is not I that frustrates you so,
it is not I who needs your saving…

But it is YOU.

So look in that mirror my dear.
Look closely in your eye,
and tell yourself something positive.

Then continue to speak those words.
Because what you focus on grows.

I love you.
You are worthy.

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Message me for deet’s on my Autumn 1:1 Coaching Subscriptions to embrace your poser and be all you can be.

Why Do Some Men Come Back Around?

Sitting here eating breakfast and my phone goes off…
It’s a text message from a man I have known for over a decade now.
A man that makes my pussy throb at his freakin’ text no matter how bad my day is going or how disconnected I feel.
I can hear his voice right now as I sit here and type.
That low, sultry Matthew Mcconaughey voice of his.
That smile,
that sparkle in his smiling eye’s.
Yes just his words in this text bring back so many a feeling of the past.
His words ignite a strange hunger at my core.
And have me in a stir of wonder.
 
And yet…
 
Yet I know.
yet I have tasted of the offerings that he has tempted me with for the last decade.
And that YES that I have given to him so many a time in the past has only taught me to say NO.
 
So what is it about this man.
What is it about many men in my world,
throughout time and relationship that makes them come check in on me and consistently check to see if there is a door open for them to explore a second or third round of temptation.
Why do they find a need or desire to see if they can now capture what they so easily let go of back then?
 
Perhaps it is regret.
Perhaps they have grown up some and realized what was being offered back then,
the beauty of what could have been.
 
Over and over again I hear from the men of my past,
about their deep love for me,
their adoration,
and how they wish things had gone differently.
They ask for just a coffee date.
Just a glass of wine and simple conversation.
They want to rekindle the friendship.
the connection.
 
They want to know that I am okay and happy.
 
and yes, they are hopeful.
Hopeful that I am hungry.
Hopeful that I seeking.
That I am open to what possibilities are on the path as it merges but for this moment in time.
 
Again, and again I am at fault for exploring this merging path.
Because the reality is that the majority of men of my past are pretty amazing men. I adore and love them still and am in deep gratitude for the moments and experiences that we shared.
And I miss those moments sometimes.
I miss their uniqueness.
 
I am always hungry.
My heart desires for its rapture once again,
and so yes it is always seeking for that soul that will ignite it and open it up to that that it has experienced in the past.
I find myself also thinking about this running theme of my ex’s.
And how the one’s who truly captivated me and still hold a piece of me in some strange way many a year later ALWAYS choose to re-explore the waters of relationship with me.
 
Or at least let their love be expressed verbally here and there.
They want me to KNOW their heart.
 
And this is beautiful.
This is a beautiful side of the masculine.
Scary though.
Because each of these men wake up skeletons in the closet of my heart,
and make me sit at the brink of “What now?”
 
Testing each breath as we exchange a moment yet again.
And I lean in and learn.
 
But wonder.
 
I here in my head as I type this these words of a man that I love deeply and is one of these gentlemen of my past that touches base with me to share his heart every now and then.
 
I see him with his handsome smile, his rich brown eye’s looking at me and explaining to me that when a man goes that deep with a woman and he feels touched by her like that, that he will always touch base again and a again in hope that perhaps the timing is right now.
 
I hear the words of another man that holds my heart share with me that he now see’s his fault,
he wishes for an new opportunity,
but he know’s that my trust is broken,
what can he do to prove himself?
 
I feel the heart beat of my first love as he holds me firmly in a hug. I feel him not wanting to let go. As though it is that moment in our parting 25 years back. He looks at me with a glimmer in his Irish eye’s and smiles because he know’s it cannot ever be. But his love is felt, his desire as well.
 
So why?
 
What about a woman ignites a man to this level to pursue for years?
 
Ladies, what do you think about the men in your world that you dated years back and are still holding on? Still testing the waters of connecting a decade or more later?
 
Guys, why do you chase for a decade?
Why do you come back around every so often if you chose differently way back then.
 
What is it that makes a man want for a woman he did not embrace and hold dear when he had her?
 
Thoughts from this morning as I sit here receiving texts from past lovers, who had a chance, who had an opportunity to create something beautiful with me many a moon ago.
 
It’s a running theme in my relationship world.
How about you?
 
Love to hear your thoughts.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

This Is Why Your Woman Will Not Pursue You.

Can you imagine starving?
Can you imagine what it must be like to be so hungry and not have food available,
or to not be able to consume the food that is there close to you?
Now I have been hungry before,
there are actually many days that happen where I almost forget about eating. I get so caught up in what I am doing and who I am working with or enjoying,
that food does not cross my mind.
My body though is still hungry.
I might occasionally feel the pains and grumblings of my hunger,
but unless I focus in on it, I can resist it and carry on about what I am doing.
Over time though, my blood sugar get’s low.
My head starts to pound.
I get moody, feel light headed and tired.
I can’t keep focused.
And funny enough, in moments like this, the last thing on my mind is eating.
Instead I wonder about, wondering what’s wrong with me?
Because in the not eating, I forget about food.
 
It never fails though in these moments.
Someone comes along, with something that awakens me to my hunger.
 
I am sure you have had this experience.
You are hungry.
You get side tracked.
You get more hungry.
You ignore the hunger pain.
You dull your senses.
You feel off.
AND THEN……
you smell a burger and fries.
 
Yes, it’s that moment.
You can maybe even smell that burger and fries right now.
You pass that restaurant and you smell it.
 
YUM!!!!!
Your body ignites.
Your stomach yells at you.
Your gut gurgles and says, STOP.
EAT.
 
Okay,
so you can understand this right?
 
Now imagine these two scenarios.
 
1) You are hungry like this. Starving. You catch a whiff of something yummy. Someone walks by you with that burger or steak. You follow them. You smell its juiciness. You can taste it almost. You are so hungry all you desire is a bite. You wish to just taste it. And they look at you and say, “No – my food!”
What are you feeling? What do you do?
 
2) You are hungry like this. Starving. You smell that burger and you decide to run through the drive trough. You order it plus the fries and a soda. You inhale it without thought because of your level of hunger. It’s a piss poor quality burger. It lands in your gut like cement. You feel sick. You feel even worse than before you ate it. You know how bad it was for you and you start to overthink your haste. Now you are upset with yourself for doing what you know you should not have done. You should have waited and taken better care of yourself but the hunger was REAL. What are you feeling? What do you do?
 
In either of these situations,
you are not being fed.
You are not being fulfilled.
There is no real satisfaction.
You just get frustrated.
Irritated.
And want for more, but find yourself KNOWING that what you want is not what you got.
 
Many people when they make poor food choices that make them feel yucky, commit in that moment to not do it again. Or at least not do it to soon again.
 
Many people who are hungry like this, do not choose then to hunt down all the fast food that makes them feel less than good.
 
Many people when they see a link to something causing them issues, choose to either avoid it, or limit their exposure to it.
 
Right?
That seems normal and within logical reason, wouldn’t you agree?
 
Well, here is the thing love.
This tale of starving. Of fast food.
It is actually not about food at all.
It is about satisfaction. Desire. or lack there of.
It is about STARVING.
 
But what I speak of here is the starving of good sex.
The starving of gourmet fulfillment.
I speak here what almost every woman would agree upon if they were raw and real about it.
 
That they are STARVING.
Hungry for something that they hardly get.
 
Can you imagine that 75-80% of the time that you have sex that you do not feel good from it?
That you actually feel yucky.
 
Can you imagine that you feel 75-80% of the time like it was a waist of time, energy and you feel disconnected and more empty then before you went into the situation?
 
Can you imagine that 75-80% of the time that you had sex that you did not enjoy it, have an orgasm?
 
All of this and more is accurate when we truly look into female sexual experience.
 
Gentlemen,
You get fed every time you eat.
You eat what you want and you like it most of the time, because shiz,
it’s food and who does not like food.
 
Well us ladies,
75-80% of the time we eat,
we feel sick from it. And we are not really eating,
we are just getting that whiff of the food.
So who wants to sit in their hunger and just catch a whiff at best 75-80% of the time?
 
Who in their right mind would desire,
pursue, look for or even be excited in the least to have that experience?
 
Not too many people I am guessing.
Yet, our partners ( and I say this as a woman who has had a partner want me to desire just this that I speak on plus the hundreds of couple’s that I have worked with over time who have the male partner wanting to be pursued, desired and frustrated with the woman on not doing so)….
 
Our partners, want us to want this for ourselves.
And they wonder why…
why we women shut down.
Why the sex turns from hot to Anniversary, birthday and Christmas sex.
They wonder what is wrong with their female partner to not want such a wonderful, connective, fulfilling thing such as sexual intimacy.
 
And I tell you in my rawest truth here,
THIS IS ONE MAJOR CONTRIBUTING FACTOR.
 
So what is the answer?
How can you fix her issues?
How can you make sure that she get’s fed?
 
 
These are the questions that are asked in couple-hood.
 
First, it is a two way street.
Both parties need to work on it individually and together, communication MUST happen. Things must change in order to get the results desired.
 
Second, You cannot fix her. She is not broken. And she is not a toy for your fixing Mr. Fix It. So effing STOP! You can however become a better lover. You can gain presence, compassion. You can inquire with skill. You can slow the F-ck down. You can actually want her to enjoy and there fore not get irritated and bored with the time she needs to take. You can do your own internal work, emotionally and mentally.
 
Third, you can do the above two.
And of course, if you need more help.
You still don’t know what to do,
to change.
You can seek outside help.
Like mine, ( Yes my shameless plug there…. but it’s true, you have been doing what you have been doing and you have been blind to what is happening until this moment or you have been really good at ignoring it all and hoping that it would just fix itself. That has not worked though. So… insert my shameless plug again please.)
 
And here are the facts,
sex is important. No matter how we try to discredit it.
Sex and money are the two major factors in relationship breakup and happiness.
 
Many people think they have a successful relationship because they look at the longevity of that relationship. The years spent together.
 
However, the truth is that relationship success is not about the years together,
it’s about the joy. The happiness. The over all feeling that the relationship leaves you with.
 
And most relationships under this mindset of success are far from successful.
 
So I ask you today,
are you content having and providing a fast food sex life at best to your relationship? The person you love and cherish?
 
Or is it time that you discover how to truly feed her?
 
Yes the gourmet variety.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
‘Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for deet’s on my 1:1 global coaching opportunities and more.
 
You deserve a deeply connective, turned on bedroom life and more.

Forced Consent is Not Authentic Consent.

You can’t touch this….
Touch.
Hands on attention.
Something that is so needed,
so human, so intimate and connective.
 
Yes touch is something beautiful.
Unless it is not wanted.
Unless it is given when it is not appropriate.
Unless it is out of one’s boundaries or it is forced upon someone.
 
And it is this final statement that I want to address today.
As a woman who has experienced her fair share of trauma,
and speak about the healing process,
the psychological issue around and how to best prevent further trauma in life,
It has come to my attention over the last week the power of touch, yet again.
 
The same touch that can show love can also trigger fear.
Our hands and fingers can open in a hug and give one with deep care and no desire to harm another,
these same hands and fingers can penetrate another person with fear and trigger old wounds as well as cause new ones with the same action of a hug.
 
How can that be?
How is it possible?
Does that mean that we should just not touch anyone?
Yet here we are a touch deprived society.
Hungry for touch and the fact that we are so deprived has us uncertain as to what is healthy and what is not,
because we are deprived and not taught proper respect and boundaries,
permissions and body language signs,
because we want what we want and tend to overlook another person’s feelings or obvious gestures of not wanting to be touched,
we push ourselves onto others with great disregard to what we may actually be triggering in them or re-anchoring from a past wound.
 
Touch can be healing,
but it can also be harming.
 
Outside of the harmful touch of physical abuse which is what you may think when you read the words of touch can be harmful,
it can still be harmful with a loving, caring, even playful touch.
 
I will bring to the attention what our society is being taught.
 
Recently in America we have dealt with the conversation of touch with our very president being captured stating:
 
“Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”
 
This is an extreme statement about touch.
About taking what you want with disregard to another human being. And I see the fall out of this statement in many relationship scenarios from parenting to lovers,
from friends to colleagues.
 
Every time we ask our child for a hug or a kiss and they say “no” and we respond with,
“Come on, mommy/daddy need’s a hug.”
” Give me hug and then you can go.”
“I will give you this if you give me a hug or a kiss.”
 
We are disrespecting our child’s space and answer.
We are teaching our child that it is okay to ignore a “no” and to even try and bribe, guilt or push further for what you want with total disrespect to another’s desire, boundary or need.
 
This then translates to adults who believe that it is okay to push for what they want with a spouse or partner.
 
It translates to adults who do not respect the space, time or feelings of another in any relationship situation.
 
It translates to adults who do not take responsibility for their actions, as they feel that they are doing what they are doing out of a “good” place or a “just or deserving” place, as though they have the right when in fact they do not,
and that no matter how good or right our actions may be,
if they are harming toward another’s boundaries or desires then we need to pause and respect what we are being told or what we are witnessing in energy,
body language coming from another person.
 
Touch.
It is so very powerful.
And our boundaries around it can ebb and flow within any relationship and moment by moment in our lives.
A touch that felt good yesterday may very well close us down to connection the next.
 
And the thing to remember about touch is that it extends past the physical.
 
Touch is about how we touch another person.
 
We can touch another person with our physical body,
we can touch them with our words,
we can touch them with the look from our eye’s,
the expression on our face.
We touch other’s all the time.
How you touch them is the question that I encourage you to review in your life today?
 
Are you honoring and respectful?
Do you listen to their body language as well as their words?
Can you hear their truth and accept it just as that,
without needing approval from them or needing a reason as to why they think, feel or need what they need?
 
Or are you operating from a place of self-centeredness?
A place of need and hunger?
 
When you are in relationship with anyone,
no matter the intimacy level or actual label on the relationship,
do you give…
do you touch…
do you speak…
do you act…
out of the place of unconditional respect and love or are you wanting something and wanting to feel a certain way,
with the belief that if this other person “supports” (gives) you what you are wanting by allowing you to act, speak, give, touch, etc… the way that you deem good in that moment,
that this is what “should” happen and it is “okay” because that is just the way that you want it to be?
 
We are all guilty of ignoring another and insisting that they feel or think a way that we want them too instead of how they may actually be feeling or thinking.
 
We are all guilty of wanting something from another at times.
We are all guilty of missing ques in body language or tones, even not hearing words fully and crossing over boundaries.
We are all guilty of being self-centered.
 
No one wants to feel rejected.
No one wants to feel like they have hurt someone that they care for.
 
The reality is that when in relationship,
we will hurt those we care for.
We will not always be present with them.
And we will have hidden expectations if nothing else that we are not aware of that may cause issues along the path.
 
But if we want to act out of love,
if we want to be emotionally mature,
and trustworthy,
if we want to expand and deepen a relationship,
then each of us MUST take responsibility for how we choose to touch those around us.
 
With our words.
With our physical bodies.
With our looks.
With our expectations.
And assumptions.
 
And we must learn to respect the “No” without question of why.
 
Because no one owes you an explanation of why they are feeling any way,
just like you do not owe anyone an explanation as to why you think or feel any particular way either.
 
But to push your will on another,
is a breaking of truth,
it is dishonoring to the relationship and to both parties in relationship,
and it shows the desperation of one’s need and lack of actual care for another.
Making it detrimental to the relationship.
 
Pay attention to what you are seeing,
to what you feel coming from another person,
not not what you want to feel or see.
 
Realize that your truth about any particular thing may not be the same as another’s and if you are interacting with another person you NEED their consent to involve them.
 
How are you toughing those in your life today?
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.

STOP BEING A YES WHORE.

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STOP BEING A YES WHORE.

Wow! Kendal that is a harsh statement for a Friday morning.

What do you mean by, “Yes Whore?”

You are guilty beautiful of doing just this.
I am guilty too.
There is not a soul on this planet that has not fallen into the illusion of being a yes whore and believing that it is the road to our happiness.

Every time you say YES to someone and you actually mean NO, you are in an essence whoring yourself out and dishonoring self and the relationship that you are YESSING all over.

Every time that inauthentic YES pops out of your mouth and you find yourself swallowing your own needs, desires, ideas, and value because you feel that you “should” do this or that to be a nice person, to be helpful, to offer support, to show you love, etc. etc.

You sabotage yourself!
You sabotage the relationship.
And you loose respect.

I have been in the business of relationship coaching in one facet or another for two decades now and the one thing that I hear repeatedly is, ” I can’t say no, that would be mean.”

“He is my husband… I love him, I can’t say no.”
“She is so sweet and working so hard, she needs this/needs me… I can’t say no.”
“They are really struggling right now, I can’t say no.”
“They need me.”
“I don’t know how I am going to do it but I can’t say no.”

And following these wonderful words of what seem’s like love and support come…

” I am so exhausted, I just don’t have anything left to give, why can’t they/he/she see that?”

“I just feel like a all people ever want me for is ___________________.”

“You know, I have had it… I have been busting myself open here, doing everything I can, to show how much I care and I ask for one small thing and get told no after everything that I have done.”

“Doesn’t he/she see that I really don’t want to do that/feel like it?

“I would be all alone if I said what I really want or need.”

These and so many other things in so many subjects of our lives.

Just think about all the moments that you actually wanted to respond with NO but opted to say yes because you did not want to hurt the relationship, the other persons feelings or damage your value in the relationship.

Think of all those moments that if you get real with yourself you answered YES because you were answering out of fear and/or lack of self-worth.

Well you see beautiful,
these are the times that you were whoring yourself out.

There is no honor or respect in being out of integrity and not being honest with your answer.

You answered YES in exchange for something that you wanted or needed. You put little value on what is so precious and worth so much in hopes that you could,
if but only for a short time,
buy someones love, time, appreciation,
so that you would feel good.

But the funny thing is,
much like a whore who is just selling off their sex and not looking for anything real, lasting or of value,
you find yourself having to consistently whore yourself out to the point of being used up just to get a taste of what you are actually wanting.
And much like the client of the whore who is trying to fill a void and is just buying the illusion of the intimacy and connection,
you are finding yourself feeling used, abused and alone.

The relationships that you are doing this with are the relationships that you need to GET REAL with yourself on.

If you want to experience true happiness.
If you want to be respected.
If you want to have that soulmate relationship based in love,
if you want to feel supported, safe, understood,
If you want to stop questioning yourself and the relationships that you have,
and just BE YOU-
and THRIVE.

if you want that F-ck YES! Life…

Well is starts by you STOPPING YOURSELF FROM BEING A YES WHORE.

The ONLY person you need to answer YES to ALWAYS….

Is YOU.

And you see, if you answer yes to you 100% of the time,
you will find that you will be living authentically and in integrity.
And guess what that means beautiful?

It means you will gain trust, respect, real love and support.
It means that you will NOT ALWAYS make someone else happy,
that you will respect and love yourself enough to know that you are not responsible for anyone else’s emotional response, mental thoughts or even physical actions.
It means that you will no longer be enabling another’s victim mindset in their unconscious maneuver to control you and feel loved themselves.

It means that you will be one step closer to manifesting the life that you are worthy of.

So Stop Being a YES WHORE and Release Yourself from That Which Binds You.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Been thinking about your happiness and success?
Wanting to SAY YES! To Yourself?
Let’s Make it happen beautiful in work, love and life.
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“YOU DISGUST ME!”- WHY THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW MY GREATNESS!

 
So effing frustrated with our victim minded world that we have created!
 
Many of today’s humans could not make it in the world just 30 years ago.
 
We have created a society that is weak and scared of each other.
We have created a people that refuses to take responsibility for their thoughts, feelings or actions.
We have created a society that believes that shame is how you heal the world, how you make things right and that it is their DUTY to do just such.
 
We have created a world where confrontation is a bad thing that should be avoided at all cost and any one who stands up and speaks their truth that may not align 100% to another’s should brace themselves for the impact of how bad they are for stating it or setting a boundary.
 
Didn’t they understand their truth, their ideas, their opinions, their work, their art, their education, their pictures were offensive and shameful and not okay to have in this world?
 
Geeze what is wrong with them for sharing any of their stuff?
They should take into account what someone else that they don’t know might be feeling or how looking at whatever it is might make that other person think, because don’t you know YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE OF YOUR THOUGHTS OR FEELING everyone else is responsible for them, not you.
 
And because you posted it on social media – then you FORCED them to look.
 
This particular man friended me awhile back, ( see image with post)
he follows other sex and relationship coaches, practitioners and tantra educators that speak of openness, finding your orgasm and living in a sex positive world, yet he has decided to report some of my pictures because he claims that they are offensive and nasty…😱
 
Acting as though I have explicit sex pictures on my facebook for all too see…🤣🤣🤣
 
The reason I have chosen to share this with every one is simple,
this kind of attitude is becoming more of a norm.
 
The other day a man went off on my wall here under a musing I did on boundaries and how important it is to have healthy one’s in all areas of our lives, he decided that I was a tantric prostitute who was manipulating men by wearing a long white vintage dress into giving me their money… he insisted that I was being nasty as well in my flaunting of myself as he called it.
 
This sort of attitude that I see rising up more and more is sad.
It is an attitude of fear and separation with zero personal responsibility for our internal worlds.
 
There is so much pain in our world.
SO much pain in the people’s hearts.
And we are being blinded by it.
It forms in anger, disgust, rage, blame and shame toward others.
And it is because somewhere along the line we stopped teaching personal responsibility.
We started making the least mature people in the world the boss of everyone.
 
Competition these days is evil.
You cannot have a winner and a looser because it is hurtful to someone’s feelings.
You cannot have a debate and agree to disagree, because it may hurt someones feelings.
You cannot have certain beliefs, ideas, or experiences and talk about them because someone that may be passing by may hear and be upset by the sharing between two friends.
You are damned if you look, talk, believe or act this way or that way and you are damned if you don’t as well.
 
The ONLY THING that matters is that YOU make sure NOT TO OFFEND any other human being on this planet with your disgusting existence.
 
That is unless you are among the emotionally immature who feel it is socially acceptable to mock, blame, shame and kick others from behind their computer and phone screens about sharing what they are not comfortable with. That is JUST FINE – NO HARM, NO FOUL there.🤔
 
And yet,
we want to watch other’s who are living out loud and we can get caught up in their saga’s, drama’s and ways of living and expressing.
We flock to things that are not average.
We crave connection more then every.
We feel so isolated and misunderstood,
road rage and depression is normal,
everyone is on some prescription drug trying to mask their pain and disconnect.
 
Those who shame and blame the most hold the biggest subscriptions to porn hub and make the most aggressive private messages. On one side they condemn and on the other they explicitly expect.
 
And what does any of this truly mean at the end of the day?
 
It means that our world has progressed no further then the dark ages on this subject.
 
It means that if this were 2000+ years ago the one’s throwing the stones to kill the prostitute are the same one’s who were bedding her in the stable just 15 minutes prior.
 
It means that we still as a mass society value our suffering more then our worth.
 
It means that for those of us who choose to walk on the road less traveled and take the heat,
 
Those of us who are the 1% who will not cower to this crazy victim-hood mentality of settling for less than what we are worth in this life,
who believe in ourselves and whom want to be the light.
 
WE HOLD THE OPPORTUNITY TO GREATNESS.
 
The sheeple remain blind by fear mongering and separation.
 
But YOU are not a sheeple…. ( well at least I pray that if you follow me that you are not a sheeple and if you are well then please take this post as my personal invite for you to uninvite yourself out of my online community and tribe).
 
I BELIEVE IN YOU!
 
I choose to focus on WORTHINESS and that God does not create unworthy things.
 
I want you to know that if you are walking on this road less traveled with me that you are and EAGLE.
 
And you are not walking.
You are flying BABY!
You have wings.
And you have GREATNESS inside of you.
 
Never let those who are blinded by their own darkness cast your light out.
 
And this world,
this world is what you make of it.
Is what you choose to focus on,
so choose to not fear this blind victim-hood mentality of the weak minded and disconnected,
 
Instead,
Live Out Loud, Unapologetic and FREE!
 
💃💃💃 And don’t let my white vintage dress manipulate you too much…lol 🤣🤣🤣
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
 
 

The Power of the Sensual Feminine in Her Wild Woman State.

To all the ladies in the house….
To all you mama’s,
you grandmama’s,
you sexy, confident queen’s.
 
Today I share from my feminine sensual heart to you directly.
Today I speak to that turned on,
ignited,
passionate woman who know’s who she is at her core and who know’s her worthiness to receive the riches of this life she is living.
 
Yes YOU Beautiful!
 
Woman to woman,
lets get real.
Let’s talk about the embracing of our sensual feminine and how beautifully powerful this is,
how scary as f-ck it can be,
and some about the shaming and misinterpretations of what it all means and how it is perceived.
 
Many a moon ago, I was reading the book Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. If you are unfamiliar with this book it is stories and myths of the wild woman archetype, I was in my early twenties, living in Seattle with my husband then. I was in the middle of my second pregnancy. I was feeling trapped, fatigued, lost in myself. I would look in the mirror at my ever changing body and hate what I saw but at the same time appreciate the power of my womb. I loved being a mother, but disliked the then assumed fact that I had lost my sexiness. I had lost my feminine sensuousness and appeal.
 
No matter how much my husband tried to affirm my beauty,
his desire or anything else,
I could not hear him because what the world showed me and I had been taught from my own mother was that motherhood was far from sexy and being a mother meant that you had to put away your desire of anything such. Reserve it for a random few times a month at best, in the dark, and without too much noise because the children must not know of pleasure or intimacy or their mother’s desire to be ignited.
 
This hiding from who I was at my core,
destroyed my self-esteem. It captured my soul and prevented me from speaking my truth in any area of my life and I felt shame anytime I received a compliment or a flirty smile or look from a man. I could not even play sensually with my spouse without feeling guilt over accidentally being seen.
 
What would people think?
I must be being a bad mother example if I let this aspect of myself out.
 
So here I was with this wild woman resting within me,
wanting to be revealed but fearing the loss of everything that felt suffocating but strangely comfortable and safe, should I let her dance the way she wanted.
 
At my soul core I KNEW that if I were to truly be who I was unapologetically that the world would not support. That the feminine itself would want to burn me at the stake and the masculine would want to try and domesticate with control.
 
I knew that if I revealed my sensual,
that if I allowed my voice to sing,
my feet to dance,
my skirts to twirl and my pleasure to be seen that the radiance would call in the darkest of armies to slash at it and cast stones to quiet its truth. Yet, this wild woman within, she was so hungry, she was fierce in her desire to be unmasked, unchained.
 
And as the years passed, I would experiment with the loosening of her leash.
 
To my dismay,
there I was a decade later,
now with five children I was raising,
living in Dallas,
coming out of a two+ year deep depression and total give up of life and power,
looking at my life and seeing this wild woman at the end of her rope,
still fierce and full of vitality,
she was straining in her fight for not her life but MINE.
She was committed to not let me go any longer in my suffering,
and she broke free of her chains.
 
As the chains dropped to the earth, she slowly regained her balance and at first treaded with caution the waters of the life that I had created in fear of being seen and heard. Focused and determined though was she to breathe life back into my sails, and teach me of this radiance that I was worthy of.
 
Unleashed she opened me to the bliss of joy,
the power of laughter and authentic connection.
She unwound the ropes that held me hostage of living in integrity, the misguided ideas of always aiming for perfection and the pleasing of everyone else.
 
The wild woman brought to me the mirror of self-compassion and as I viewed it and stepped into all the places that I had chosen to abandon her and myself, I was brought into the dance of forgiveness. With each step of deep healing work I found myself learning myself,
perhaps for the very first time,
but a learning that it was never expected of me to be superhuman. It was never expected of me to hide my light,
my voice, my heart from this world and most especially from my children or self.
 
As I moved further into the embrace of the wild woman,
I discovered that her rage that she could move passionately into was not a rage of evil to fear but it was her wanting to purify the untruth that had been dumped on me at youth and supported by my belief in it.
 
Her pain that she expressed in my darkest hours of not listening, was not evil or lost, it was pain that was begging for the embrace of love. Not a love that could be given from anyone other than self.
 
With each step on this new journey of the wild woman,
I discovered that this archetype was there to teach me not to fear my sensual feminine but to embrace it as the life giving, creative energy that it was intended to be.
 
The rapes and abuse that was once perceived to be caused by the revealing of the sensual feminine was not that at all, but instead the allowance of my shame and guilt that attempted to make this energy docile and weak. Because it was feared by my veil to my truth and perceived dangerous.
 
Another decade has be lived and two more babies born since this unchaining has occurred and with in many more lessons of self- expansion has happened. Some may view some of these lessons as traumatic and even myself in the moments of experience would agree,
some moments were breathtaking as I was blessed to bask in the presence of the divine you could say.
 
Moments of allowing the wild woman to embrace me during deep expanding sex, where my heart exploded and the smell of roses would waft up from the moments of soul union and intimacy.
 
Blessed was I as I let her take the lead a bit further in my life.
Blessed because I learned that love although sometimes a pain that can not be touched by any other, is still the blessing that God wants us to know we are worthy of.
 
Blessed because she lead me with this fierce love to a deeper level of self knowing and an encouragement to open up to the sensual energy of play.
 
Blessed because she removed more veils in her dance,
allowing me to see clearer with each passing year,
that the wild woman that I once feared was the a warrior angel who always believed in my worthiness and heart.
 
Her leading steps,
her powerful emotion,
her dedication to my reveal,
was the breath that God and spirit had sent to me,
to claim my truth as the sensual feminine.
Though some still perceive it as dangerous.
And some view it with disgust as they call out in their poisonous toned words of shame, anger and fear of the unknown.
 
The thing that I have learned from her that I cherish the most,
is that all the bile that others may throw comes not from who I am or what they perceive me to be but is instead is the venom that they poison themselves with because they fear WHOM THEY COULD BE.
 
The disgust that one may cast toward another is only a mirror reflection of how they feel about themselves.
 
 
And so beautiful mama,
grandmama and mama in waiting.
No matter where you are in this dance called life,
know that you too are born to be wild,
born to be sensual,
to be wise and strong,
to be love,
and to be seen and heard.
 
That face,
that soul and that voice.
Has a message for this world.
But the message that the world has been blessed to give to you is that God wants you to CLAIM WHO YOU ARE.
 
Never hide or lower your eye’s to those who speak tongues of evil no mater how pretty their faith may appear, or their words sound.
 
You beautiful mama are a queen.
You hold within you the seeds of the universe,
the energy of creation,
the power of life.
 
May you take today’s message and feel your strength,
not in your shield of fear,
but in that crown that is upon your head and power of your sensual feminine.
 
Dance Beautiful Wild Woman.
Dance Beautiful Mama.
Dance and let your Joy Be Seen.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living.
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
 
We start in a little over a week!
Will you be embracing your Unstoppable Power this summer?
 
Join myself and tribe of beautiful queens as we pick up our crowns and make it our time to fly.
 
Section One 4 weeks: Owning Your Power
No More Good Girl Holdbacks!
Let Go, Let Go, Allow!
Letting Go of Perfectionism, Activating Authenticity
Desire is my GPS.
 
Section Two 4 week: Lifestyle Design
No More Dry P*ssy Face.
Increased Pleasure Threshold
Comfort to Miracles
Manifesting with Ease & Grace
 
Section Three 4 weeks: Money, Sex & Men
Knowing Your Abundance Key’s
Saying Yes to Your Orgasm ( In life and the bedroom)
Men Are Just Desserts
Manifesting Your Unstoppable Power
 
Grab you spot Today!
Early Bird Saving Still Apply.
Six 1:1 sessions with me plus 12 weeks of unstoppable power activation.
 

Know Yourself Sweet Man To Have The Woman That You Want.

Only the divine masculine can hold space for a relationship with the divine feminine.

You say that you desire a relationship with a woman.
A woman who knows herself.
A woman who is passionate, turned on and comfortable in her own skin.
You say that you want a woman who will honor and respect you.
You say that you want a woman who is loyal.
A good mother.
A partner in life.
A woman who loves deep,
ans fierce.
You say so much dear man.

But what you must realize,
is that this sort of woman that you claim that you desire,
that you state you are holding out for,
that you are searching all the corners of your world for and just cannot seem to find…

Yes this woman.

She will DEMAND the same from you.
She will push your boundaries.
She will command your heart.
She will devour you if you are weak.
She will not settle for anything less than what she wants in a her man.
And this woman.
This woman want a MAN.

Not just any man.
She is strong in herself.
She does not need you to THRIVE or even to survive.
She is comfortable with being alone.
She knows her goals,
knows her heart,
KNOWS HER WORTH.🙌

If you come to her with your school boy ways,
if you come to her with ideas that your manhood is based in your pants or in your bank account,
she may play with you for a bit…💃
she may enjoy the offerings of your services,
but if you do not bring to her the true fruit that she desires and deserves then she will cast you out of her world and continue her pursuit.

This woman that you claim that you have been searching for,
that you have yourself believing is hard to find,
may be sitting right beside you as you read these very words.
But in order to unmask her,
you must be willing.
You must be strong.
You must be in truth of who you are.

Do you know your PURPOSE?
Can you embrace your HEART?
Will you drop your SHIELD?
Will you walk with the stance of a KING?

Or will you continue to cower to this life?

The divine masculine is a masculine on FIRE!🔥🔥🔥

Passionate, Turned On to Life, Fierce, Playful, Confident, Present and On Purpose.

To embrace her you must embody these.
Or let yourself wonder in the jungle of the lost,
who will continue to look for what they will never qualify to call in.
But in turn settle for the false relationships,
the heated moments,
the fleeting pleasures of illusion.

The divine masculine KNOWS that to have this woman that his SOUL craves,
he must first LEAD himself to his path,
and walk it in strength,
in courage,
and with enthusiasm of what he will discover within himself.
The way to this woman’s heart,
is through your own.

Uncovering.
Unearthing.
Unmasking.

The reveal of your DIVINE MASCULINE,
the answers to your questions,
the desire of having her,
the search of what you want.

Yes sweet man,
until YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE…
until YOU FIND YOUR COURAGE…
until YOU BECOME A LEADER…
until YOU KNOW THE POWER OF YOUR HEART…

You will never entertain her.
For this woman,
she is wild,
free and on purpose.

And only a REAL MAN will dance with her. 💃💃💃

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

I know that you may be scared.
I have been in those shoes before all too many time.
But that fear is not going to stop you.
You are powerful.
Introducing 12- weeks of “Unstoppable Power – It’s My Time To Fly!”
This is a once in a life time to work with me 1:1 from anywhere in the world.
If you are a man or a woman who is looking for a powerful game-changing opportunity to claim the life that you desire in FAITH and learn how you can access your dreams quickly by releasing old programs based in fear and shame around your worthiness, joy and abundance then this 12-weeks is for you.
Stop letting everything be an excuse!
You deserve better than those reasons you have to stay trapped in your comfort bubble of suffering.
Let’s level up your life over summer.
Message me for deet’s or leave a comment here.

Your SOUL Craves Gourmet Sex and So Does Your Abundance.

The more gourmet sex I have the less I make my bed.
 
It is so vitally important to have gourmet sexual experiences,
not just a bunch of sex.
 
That low vibe,
high friction,
empty,
fast food sex is simply not even worth the time it takes to get undressed.
 
And it most certainly does not feed your soul.
 
It does not drop you into your core, your primal sexual creative energy where many great visionaries, leaders, game changers of all time have spoken of accessing for life success.
 
It is not the sexual encounters documented in Song of Solomon in the bible either.
 
That sort of encounter,
that sort of divine,
touching the big toe of God experience happens only when you tap into your SOUL.
 
Which is a SOUL of SEX.
 
As Thomas Moore states in his book on this very topic,
“In sex an inner life of strong emotions and vivid fantasies meet with a real person to create a moment of exceptional intensity when life is full and reason is dim…
 
But it is the soul, and not some inanimate body, that feels the hunger and can’t resist the appetite.”
 
This appetite that is spoken of here and in Solomon is the hunger for life. The desire that even Jesus spoke of to be fully entwined with the creator.
 
With God.
 
Sex is soul food.
It is a vital nutrient to our human condition,
allowing us to gain access to higher realms of understanding and feeling,
where we become limitless in our manifestation possibilities.
 
However, in order to tap into this storehouse of magic and possibilities one must STOP settling for fast food sex and in turn DEMAND gourmet sexing.
 
Gourmet sexing,
takes one away from the linear mindset,
out of the monkey brain, where we desire for control instead of freedom.
 
Gourmet sexing is about tapping into our already full state of being and opening into our true spiritual power.
 
This is where we command in our blessings.
When we allow our soul the expression of gourmet sex,
in its craving of these blissful excursions,
we experience a separate reality,
where we tap into the mystery of being human.
 
Here in this enticing altered state of being and awareness, the SOUL discovers many truths about life, love, our partners, selves and God. This expanded understanding of sex ignites our manifestation capabilities and provides us the complexity and satisfying fulfillment of what being HUMAN can offer.
 
The details of what one once found important,
the fears,
concerns and doubts around our lives experiences,
the responsibilities that we take on to hide our truth and power,
all are washed away through gourmet sexing.
 
And are replaced with compassion,
a deep desire of authenticity,
passion, joy and connection.
 
In this altered state of a sexing we discover WHO WE ARE.
 
I can share from a very intimate note that when we tap into this way of sexing and living we impact all of life. The ripple effect from each who chooses the enlightened path of sex and the soul expression that is was designed to be end up being a healing agent in this ill world.
 
Now I call on you beautiful to inquire about how you choose to view your sex.
 
I ask you do you identify with the desire that your SOUL has to be expressed?
 
Do you cherish and respect the power of your orgasm?
And the greatness that it can offer you in your manifestation for a life of richness, abundance and freedom?
 
Or is your sex more equivalent of washing your hands or making your bed, where it has little meaning or depth and you cannot fathom such richness and power coming from what you perceive as friction based activity that serves for the reproduction or stress release?
 
Curious about the Soul of Your Sex?
 
Let me share with you almost 30 years of education, training and enlightened study on this topic and how it can NOT ONLY change your bedroom life but also your ABUNDANCE.
 
Message me about elite coaching now.
 
As Always, Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Why Is She So Perfect?

Radiant.
Glowing.
Smiling and happy.
 
Why is she so perfect?
In love with life,
and life is in love with her.
The gift of life.
The gift of joy,
of family, community and love.
The gift to be able to provide a moment to those she loves.
 
Yes she is so perfect.
She is you and you are her.
She lives within your soul.
She asks to be seen,
more of then all that you often choose to share.
Her light,
her wisdom,
her happiness.
Desire to be seen.
Her heart wants nothing more than your embrace,
To touch and love,
to sing and dance.
 
Yes she is so perfect.
 
That angelic light, radiating from deep within.
It hides nothing,
reveals everything.
and is ignited by life.
Her wings are bold,
their spread is wide.
They carry her hopes, her dreams and aspirations.
They protect and nurture,
they support and shield.
Her wings,
are yours.
Embrace them and fly.
 
Why is she so perfect?
She is you and you are her.
United forever but must be revealed.
The soul of an angel,
the passion of a beast.
The wisdom of sages,
the courage of a warrior.
 
Why is she so perfect?
I will tell you her secret.
I will share right here.
 
She is perfect.
Yes indeed.
Because she is WHO YOU ARE.
She is SOUL.
She is TRUTH.
But to listen beautiful,
you must allow.
You must surrender and learn to love once again.
You must open and be flexible,
you must not desire to hide no more.
You must find your FAITH once more,
to spread those wings,
to shine that light.
You must step into WHO YOU ARE.
 
She is perfect.
She is you and you are her.
A divine and beautiful creature.
When tapped in and turned on,
You Ignite this dark World
You bring hope and joy to all those you touch,
they flock to you,
they hunger to hear your words,
to be touched by your message
and lifted up to theirs.
 
Yes, she is perfect.
because she is daring.
Because she loves true.
Because she knows herself.
Because she fears but does not hide.
Because she doubts but does not quit.
Because she looks into her eye’s,
she see’s her pain,
she see’s her fear,
she’ rests in FAITH.
 
She is perfect.
She is you and you are her.
But First beautiful,
YOU MUST BELIEVE.
 
Rest in your surrender to SOUL.
Find comfort in your raw vulnerability.
Passion in your courage and fear.
And footing in the LEAP YOU ARE TAKING.
 
Leap Beautiful,
Leap and free fall,
for your wings were designed to catch you,
you and this dark world,
that you are meant to lift up.
To share.
To teach.
To spread the light and love.
Yes leap beautiful.
 
Leap and Trust in Your Wings.
 
——————— 🙌 ——————————–
 
This picture I share today is a snipped pic from a video that my daughter took two years ago. She put the title of “Why is she so Perfect” on the video and across the stream. To feel my daughters love and adoration like this is one thing, but my realization in her share of this memory is one I had to share with YOU today.
 
I write this message above for me.
I write it for you too beautiful.
Female or male, ‘we are all beautiful.
We are all worthy.
We all have a message.
And my message never changes to you.
 
It STAND UP, SPEAK OUT, and THRIVE.
 
Accept your worth.
Accept your power.
Accept WHO YOU ARE.
 
 
And Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Imagine letting go of your fear,
letting go of your shame.
What would your life be like if you were working with a mentor that could help you level up your life and let go of all those things that no longer serve you?
What would you like to release? Let go of and create for your EMPOWERED Life?
 
Let’s talk.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Coaching today.