Throne-tood! – Get Some.

Throne-tood!

It’s a THING.

And it’s a thing that you gotta get some of if you want to have the life that you claim that you want.

 

We have been raised to have shame over loving ourselves.

We have been raised to believe that it is wrong or even bad to think highly of ourselves,

or to brag.

And it is “selfish” ( meaning bad) to ask for what we want, need or desire.

 

But instead the correct path to happiness is to look like this so we have been raised to believe…

 

Talk like shit about yourself,

hate on your body,

on your thoughts,

in your life.

 

Be SUPER effing critical about everything and never admit to your glory.

 

Downplay everything good and hype up everything that is not perfect in your life.

 

Make sure that you are NEVER offending everyone else,

because YOU….

yes you are  responsible for everyone else’s feelings, ideas, perceptions, thoughts and actions,

so make sure to never mess up or have an opinion that does not match whomever you are with.

 

Put others before yourself at all costs.

Exhaust yourself and keep giving,

but don’t bitch that you are at your breaking point.

 

Suck it up.

Don’t show your emotions,

any of them but “blase.”

Indifference is the best path,

even if it’s not true.

 

Your anger,

your sadness,

your joy,

hide because it is too effing much for the world around you.

 

Fear everything.

And know that you are most likely at fault for the crap no matter what,

and if it’s not you then feel offended instantly,

if anyone says different or God forbid

goes against all of these rules of how to live a happy successful life.

 

And just be happy with it already,

‘cus this baby is what life is all about.

 

This is living the dream.

This is success.

 

F-cking crazy as all hell is’nt it?

I mean when I write it out  like that,

unless you are blind, dumb and stupid,

then you have to admit that anyone who actually thinks or feels this way is NEVER going to be thriving,

going to experience success or empowerment,

never going to feel confident.

Most likely only be used and hurt frequently,

will have a crappy backbone,

will not know themselves or anyone else for that matter,

and will simply not ever touch happiness.

 

So what is the answer?

 

Get a f-cking THRONE-TOOD!

 

There I said it.

It is high time that you started to value yourself.

Claiming your life, ‘calling in your blessings,

being a conscious co-creator,

manifesting a life that is full of wonder, love and success,

REQUIRES YOU TO PUT YOUR CROWN ON.

 

 

As long as you keep disrespecting God’s glory and power and not allowing his power and will to move through your life,

then you will keep falling prey to this stinking thinking love.

 

As long as you keep believing that God wants you to walk looking down at the ground,

tripping in misery over all that you have lost and ignoring the joy that your life could be,

then you will never feel the wonder of walking with you head held high,

your eyes meeting others in unconditional love and acceptance,

or the witnessing of the miracles that happen daily,

IN YOUR LIFE.

 

As long as you keep being available for scarcity,

and never picking up that crown that God has handed you,

then you will continue to suffer by your own hand.

 

And you will forever remain a slave to the enemy known as fear.

 

Oh, beautiful, don’t you see the path that you are too walk.

Can you not feel the call in your soul?

 

Now in our world we need more than ever before for you to RISE UP….

SPEAK UP…

LIGHT UP….

 

But that means that you have to accept that many who choose to remain in darkness and pain will be disgusted by your choice.

 

They will call you names,

they will hate on you and shame you,

they will want to tear you down in any way they can,

and they will make you doubt your path.

 

It will require you to have courage,

to love yourself more than you thought possible and to walk in FAITH.

 

And if you choose to step away from the many who still remain in fear,

if you choose to instead embrace your power,

and the love that the universe/God has for you,

then your life will be one of bliss and glory.

 

And THAT…

THAT is what we are each to do.

That is how we celebrate life,

honor God,

and THRIVE.

 

Are you ready, love?

Are you ready to finally say F-ck Yes! to yourself and your dreams and stop making excuses and sharing the thousands of reasons as to why you cannot do/be/have?

But instead just step firmly in faith on this path before you that is calling you?

 

Are you ready to stop giving your power just lip service but acting in faith on it?

 

I can tell you that many people say they are light workers,

they claim to be abundant,

they proclaim their faith,

and they say they believe in magic and miracles,

they even proudly state that they get manifesting and that they are powerful manifestors….

 

and they are.

For sure.

 

But, if you are struggling,

if you are suffering,

if you are feeling lost, tired and lonely…

 

Then baby, you are not really claiming your crown.

If you are not happy, (truly)

then you still have not figured it out,

and it YOU that this is written for.

It is you that need to KNOW YOUR WORTH.

 

It’s time to pick that crown up and have a THRONE-TOOD….

Because the life that you want for DEMANDS IT!

 

So Get One.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to step forward and say yes to your crown love?

Ready to stop being available for suffering, pain and misfortune?

 

Let’s speak today about no more reasons and excuses,

and get that crown picked up and put where it rightfully goes.

 

Message for deet’s.

Too Many Tabs Open Will Cause You To Stop Feeling Your Life.

I have too many tabs open.

I cannot compute any longer.

My breaker box is on overload and it’s causing me to numb out.

 

Just this morning I was explaining to my lover that I am a person who does not do well with a bunch of unfinished projects just sitting around. It causes me stress and if I cannot get them completed by myself, if they are out of my control then I end up numbing myself out to them and thus to life.

 

I love dreaming things into reality.

There is no better feeling than to witness the birth of a dream being realized.

 

I love seeing things being built.

Coming together,

watching the walls of a project go up and picking out all the little details to make it my own.

I love seeing something come into reality.

 

Don’t you?

 

It feels good.

It feels fulfilling.

It has a certain charge to it.

And it makes you want to explore more,

dream more, feel more, witness more.

 

But when you get too many tabs open,

you end up with chaos.

And I don’t know about you but when my outside world has too many projects to complete and I look around,

I feel overwhelmed and anxious.

I don’t know where to start and I start to doubt myself.

All my self sabotage programs come up and I start to hear the roar of you are not good enough, there is not enough of you to go around, get your shit together, you are messy, you are scattered, you are lost.

 

And to a degree these programs are damn f-cking correct.

 

I am feeling chaotic, lost and like there  is not enough of me to go around.

 

And so, I turn myself off to feeling it.

These thoughts create a mindset that I know at my core will not do me any favors, so it is best to just disconnect from them. Shut that shit down or go into a panic or a rage about the mess of life.

 

My head in these times gets so overloaded with thoughts and my internal check list is longer than you can imagine.

 

So I attempt to shut it all down and turn away from it.

But there is a mighty big issue with this attitude that I am prone to.

 

You see you don’t get to just shut down one feeling.

or one thought line.

You don’t get to just turn away from this one thing,

or detach from it and look another direction without the same distancing happening there too.

 

That background thought processor is on overdrive and it’s running crazy.

The checklist is flashing warning lights at you when you close your eyes.

And you wake up and what are you greeted with?

 

The chaos.

All the tabs that you left open that were draining your energy even though you closed the lid to the computer to let it rest.

 

Closing the lid,  or detaching yourself from the list of chaos that is causing you overwhelm and anxiety can work in short spurts IF…

 

IF you open back up shortly thereafter and get the shit taken care of.

 

But if you just bounce from project to project ( tab to tab)

and never finish it up you drain yourself and never allow yourself to shut fully down to recharge.

 

In this case recharging means,

projects complete to you can be PRESENT in the moment with whatever you are doing to relax, to step away, to charge yourself.

 

This includes your sex life,

playful events, dates, experiences and just chilling with the family or friends.

 

Lately, I have noticed that I have too many tabs open.

And it’s causing me to numb out to everything because I am burned out mentally and emotionally with things.

I am starting to feel the spin of constant thoughts that won’t leave me to rest no matter what I try to do to step away and give myself a break.

 

My mind is on hyper drive.

And without rest I am having trouble being present in my life,

in my sex, in my work, in my daily yoga or just watching a movie.

 

This lack of presence and hyperdrive of thoughts has the nasty effect of stunting desire.

And leaves you with a feeling of, “I am bored.”

 

And when you are bored and desireless,

you don’t have much motivation,

much turn on for life or love or creation,

you don’t really care because caring would start up those engines of anxiety and overwhelm and your tank is empty to why bother.

 

So hands go up to the heaven,

you drop to your knees,

leane back on the floor and say….

 

“F-ck It!”

 

Too many tabs open.

It’s not a great space.

But right now in our world, I believe that many of us are feeling this way. We have been busy entertaining ourselves with home repairs, projects galore, picking up extra work, etc, etc,

and we have been more aware of all the spots in our life that we are not satisfied, that perhaps we feel blaise, or that we are just settling, just getting by.

 

Our souls are not designed for blaise or getting by.

We were not born with the desire to settle in life.

We are all creators.

We are all born to LIVE.

 

So what is the answer to, too many tabs open and what it causes in the long haul?

 

Close the effing tabs!

Deal with your shit.

and then allow yourself a reboot.

Give your mental, emotional and physical bodies a break.

It does not take long to recharge,

but if you keep those tabs open and just go through the motions of taking a break then you are doing yourself a disservice.

 

Today I encourage you to take things off your mental list by delegating, writing it down and hiring out what you can. Looking at what you actually need to get done and what you “think” you need to get done and letting go of anything that is causing you mental or emotional stress that is NOT NEEDED.

Then DO THE DAMN THINGS that will clear your tabs.

Once that’s done, go find humor.

Go find play.

Laugh.

And make your work be about being present in your body.

You have not allowed yourself to embody yourself all this time because your internal space was taken up with chaos and overwhelm, but now you can.

 

Give yourself permission to breathe into YOU.

 

You are worthy of THRIVING.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Learn the secrets of rebooting your life and thriving with 1:1 global access coaching now. It’s time you started living fully.

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Here Is Why You Are Not Receiving Your Blessings.

 

Blessings are abound my love,

but you refuse to see them.

 

Your life is expanding,

your fortune is growing,

your soul is speaking to you and guiding you with each breath that you take,

but you my love,

ignore and choose to focus on things of past that do not matter.

You choose to pull forth your fears instead of your blessings and desires.

Why my love?

Why do you insist on living a saga instead of a dream?

Why do you choose to suffer and rage,

to fear and struggle instead just simply letting go of all of those things that you were caught up in yesterday and last month or year,

and instead firmly step into what you want and who you truly are?

 

You question and huff why good things happen to everyone else and not to you,

you fixate on life being hard.

And ignore the blessings and abundance,

the quick manifestation,

the miracles that just seem to happen each day,

you ask for help and it is always there,

always showing up for you and never being acknowledged,

yet you say how important gratitude is to you,

you say that you are awakened,

you say that you are doing your best,

you say so much,

but what you are doing much of is fearing life.

 

And that, that you fear will continue to scare you.

You give it reason,

you give it purpose and strength.

You give it life my love.

And no one on this planet can ever help you out of this drama that you so eagerly keep yourself in.

 

The excuses and reasons,

the finger pointing.

The blame and bitterness,

it is nothing more than resistance to your blessings.

To your worthiness and an ignoring of the glory that is all about you.

 

Today.

And Always.

 

But you turn away.

You close your eyes,

just as you may choose to disregard this message and blame the economy,

the government,

the world crisis,

your health or another human.

you may blame your broken heart,

or your upbringing,

but all of that blame,

yes all of it,

is your resistance to your birth right of worthiness and well being.

 

You were not born to struggle.

You were not born to fear.

You were not born to live in such drama and pain.

 

Wellbeing is who you are.

Wellbeing is what life’s all about,

It is the natural flow of our lives as abundance in all things that we love, and bringing us joy are part of the natural tides of our lives.

 

So why do you resist your nature my love?

Why do you desire so to not live the glory that God wants for you and offers each moment?

Why do you keep fighting for your lack?

 

When all you ever need to do is say yes to your blessings.

Yes to you.

yes to everything that is always being offered to best support and love  you now.

 

Get out of your past failures and fears,

step away from the pain and know that you can put it down,

put your attention on what you want.

Bring your heart into alignment with joy.

Into alignment with love.

And let yourself triumph over the fear of yesterday.

 

You are a king.

You are a queen.

You are the creator of your day.

 

Today.

And Always.

 

So say goodbye to reasons and excuses.

Claim your life now,

the way that it has always been intended.

 

Say Yes — To YOU!

 

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

WATCH – You Want THIS But You Can’t Have It. Remember to like and leave a comment. 🙂

 

 

Take advantage right now of a lifetime opportunity to work with me in my intensive 4 week mastermind where you get to work 1:1 with me to learn the keys that I woke up to back in 2009 and changed my whole life outcome with.  Let me guide you through the weeds and to your garden luv, you know that you desire and deserve it. Let’s make it happen. Message me for deet’s

Compassion, Gratitude + Vagus Nerve: The Components to Your Mind, Body, Soul Connection

Do you ever have a moment in your life where you find your heart swelling with gratitude and love?

Where you are sitting in a state of awe over how effing blessed you are?

Do you ever just find yourself in tears to the magic that this life has to offer?

I have this frequently.
Just this morning my alarm went off a little after 5-AM.
I stretched, drank some water, went to the bathroom.
I came back to bed, snuggled under my furry blanket and wrapped myself up in my satin sheets.
My hand rested beside me and I felt my lovers erection,
he was sleeping, but his member was awake.

I smiled from within,
as I had a hunger to connect with him.

And so we made sweet love.
Wispers of pleasure,
my body was happy to receive him.
I joked that he needed to get going and shower, and get out the door to work,
but that I first demanded that he take care of me as I grabbed him.

The moment was playful,
it was loving and primal.
It was most of all connective,
and more so connective for me to embody myself then to even connect with him.

I found myself needing him to touch me,
needing him to bring me back to my breath,
needing ME to get present in my own flesh,
with my emotions,
and out of my head.

And this moment blessed me with just that.

Afterward, we kissed and he got me my morning coffee.
I sat in bed, breathed deep into my womb and relaxed my chest.
I found myself feeling so much gratitude for my life,
for him,
for the opportunities that I have,
I was grateful for the messes that I need to clean up today,
my home that needs tidied for a 3-day event happening in it this coming weekend,
for my children,
their laughter and joy.
I opened up my facebook and I scrolled through pictures and events that happened over the last eight weeks.
I looked at the travel, the birthdays, the dinners, the family and friends,
the laughter,
the authentic smiles,
the connection.

I saw the blessings and felt JOY.
I felt INSPIRED to focus on just that and keep manifesting more of what feels so good.
I felt PEACE for where I am,
and EXCITEMENT for the path before me.
I felt GRATITUDE for being in my body and the messages that my SOUL shares through my body.
and I felt COMPASSION for self,
and UNDERSTANDING that I am just human.

This is how we create.
This is how we manifest our lives.
We grow and we manifest through being EMBODIED.
But so often we do not fathom what embodiment means,
let along how to achieve it.
We hide in our heads,
where the clutter and chaos of our fears and worries drown out our truth.
We run from our bodies,
and our emotions,
in belief that they will mislead us,
that they are weak and not to be listened too.

Yet as our world evolves,
science is pointing back to what we call spiritualism,
that crazy mystic shiz,
and it is revealing that thier is so much to the
MIND< BODY<SOUL connection.
That in order for us to truly live to our full capasity and expereince maximum well-being that we MUST embody ourselves and not exclude any aspect of this triad.

It is our ability to connect the dots of this three parts that enable us to be the alchemists of our lives.

When we are lost,
when we are full of anxiety,
our pathway of communication between
MIND<BODY<SOUL is disrupted.
Making it it virtually impossible to make correct life choices for ourselves.
We hinder our selves through disassociation to the body and the emotions.
This disassociation causes us to have life happen to us,
verses us creating the life that we want.

In today’s world there are new sciences being created to study just this MIND<BODY<SOUL connection and the pathways that create the communication needed to achieve our full capacity.

The medical field of bioelectronics was formulated just for this sole purpose.

And in it’s study,
the pathway of the Vagus nerve is a focus.
This is just what I speak of today,
and how I have intuitively created my F-ck Yes! Lifestyle.
Through a consistent practicec of activaing, and paying attention to this communication freeway.
Listening to its messages from SOUL to Body, to mind and acting from this KNOWING space.

You can do the same.
SImple steps and unederstanding,
following the guidance of vagus nerve coaching and practices to live your best life.

Simple.

It really is.
And YOU can expereince the rewards.

Breathe.
Slow down.
Meditate.
Conscious Focus on Appreciation and Compassion.
Letting go of Control Based Thinking.
Becoming Body Present.

These are the steps.
Ready?

Get activated now.
And THRIVE.

How do you support your MIND<BODY<SOUL Connection?

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

ANNOUNCING my New Global Group Coaching Program!
5-weeks of intensive yet simple education, strategy and exercises to create your desired life through activation and understanding of the Vagus Nerve.

PM for Pre-Launch interest in Group Vagus Nerve Coaching Program. Learn how to embody and stimulate your vagus nerve in a whole new way.

WHY I DO SEX DAILY.

WHY I DO SEX DAILY….
 
I have sex almost daily.
It’s just my THING.
I do sex daily yes because I love sex,
but more so for what sex gives me.
And I am not referring to the mind blowing orgasms that only happen here and there.
 
Okay so it’s truth time folks,
yes ME,
the sex expert and coach that helps thousands of people have better and more sex DOES NOT have mind blowing, earth shaking orgasm daily.
Actually most days, its pretty meh…
The sex is just normal,
and even boring at times.
But I still do sex almost daily,
and some days if the opportunity presents itself two or three times.
 
Just a week ago I spent about 7 hours out of 24 having sex.
Now that was yummy.
But why was it yummy?
Why did I want to have 7 hours of sex?
or have it daily, especially if I am not having mind blowing sex or even an orgasm most of the time?
 
The simple truth is that SEX ignites my creative juices.
Sex allows me a medative state, no matter the outcome to work on embodying myself,
sex allows me practice time to get out of my head and FEEL myself at a deep level.
I get to practice letting go,
I get to practice vulnerability,
I get to practice surrender,
I get to see where I am challenged and through the rhythm of my sex,
the consistent allowance of letting myself feel and stepping away from the idea of cumming,
but just BEING instead,
I get to connect to my CORE and thus feel my partner at a deeper level.
 
I have discovered through the years,
that our SEX is linked to so many things.
Self-confidence,
self-love,
boundaries,
ability to receive and give,
thinking patterns,
fear,
DESIRE,
passion,
VITALITY,
a feeling of freedom,
a feeling of peace,
centeredness,
physical well-being,
mental well-being,
and expanded spiritual depth.
 
To just name a few.
Yet we are taught to shame our sex,
to hide from it,
to ignore it,
to STARVE IT.
We are taught that our sex is evil.
And that it should only be used to make babies, or relieve stress QUICKLY.
 
And this way of thinking about our sex,
has us shut down,
fearful,
and not having sex.
It has us feeling disconnected from life, ourselves and the people we love.
It has us feeling insecure and angry,
depressed and lost.
And it has us trying to achieve what we have a void in through any means possible.
It has us acting out and traumatizing ourselves and others.
 
Instead of loving ourselves,
being responsible,
compassionate,
mature people,
we are like caged, starving, beaten wild animals.
This is what our world has become when we DO SEX.
And it’s all because we have such a limited, repressed view and understanding of this beautiful gift from God.
 
Sex and finances are the top two reasons marriages break up.
Sex actually out weights money,
because when the sex is crap,
when the sex is disconnected and toxic,
when sex is just about the get off,
then you have a partner being used and abused.
You have trauma setting in and the relationship is TOXIC.
No amount of money can heal that.
That is all about embodiment.
That is all about connection.
 
And you can ONLY CONNECT to your partner if you know how to connect to yourself first.
 
THAT IS WHY I DO SEX DAILY.
 
The consistent practice of leaning more into ME.
 
How does your sex feel to you?
Connected and deep?
Expansive and full?
or shallow, empty and about the release?
 
Want to learn how you have beautiful sexing all the time and access these states of peace, joy and connection.
Enjoy intimacy no matter what is going on in your life?
Reach out to me for information on my 1:1 coaching available globally today.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

NEWS FLASH!!! You Can’t Do It For ANYONE else but YOU.

You Can’t Do It For ANYONE else but YOU.

 
You really are the center of the universe.
 
I know that may sound like a ego based statement,
it may appear to be selfish, self centered and even “wrong” in some fashion to think this way about ourselves.
 
But leave it to me to be the
📢📢📢F-cking NEWS FLASH of reality….
 
If you make anyone else more important than you,
If you make anyone else’s business your responsibility,
If you worry more about anyone else more,
If you want it more for them then they do….
 
Then you are sacrificing your EVERYTHING.
 
I am always telling my clients,
” I am in this to level that you are.”
 
Meaning, if you think it is my responsibility as your coach to do/push or want your success more than you do, then you will be sadly let down and mistaken.
 
If you believe that you need someone else to push you,
Give you motivation,
Reason,
Courage,
or FAITH,
 
to take the steps that you need to take.

to REMIND you to DO THE Mother F-cking things that you know you need to do.

 
Then you are going to always have less than what you are worth.
You will always be a victim to life,
a victim to circumstance.
 
You will continually be lost,
feel unloved,
unseen,
and like you do not matter.
 
It is no one else’s job to make you
FEEL
or DO
ANYTHING.
 

This is your effing life.

🔥🔥🔥If you want it than CLAIM IT!🔥🔥🔥
 
What if….
 
What if you just finally started saying YES to yourself,
and stopped being the doormat to everything and everyone else?
 
What if you made yourself,
 

🙄WAIT FOR IT…..

 
 

…..THE F-cking Priority. 📢🎆🎆

 
WHOA!!!! What a concept.
 
So back to my original statement of today…
 
You really are the center of the universe.
YOUR Universe.
 
YOUR WORLD! 🌏
 

💯% of the TIME.

 
No one else.
 
This is called having
DRIVE
DIRECTION
COMMITMENT
SELF-LOVE
 
PURPOSE!!!!!!!!
 
Very few people actually have these things.
Most people opt for average and ordinary.
They opt to remain in the confines of the beliefs that they are responsible for someone else’s thoughts, feelings, actions.
 
That it is their responsibility to try and control an outcome.
 
Many people SACRIFICE their lives
for others….
 
WHO never realize that they have done this,
and don’t even want them to do this.
 
Many people,
believe that this makes them ” a good person.”
 
A Godly person, even.
 
When in fact,
all it does is STEAL their JOY.
 
Want to know why you suffer so GREATLY?
Want to know why you feel lost?
Want to know why your always unhappy,
never satisfied,
have limited DESIRE 🔥🔥🔥
 
BECAUSE You are Living for Someone Else.
You are NOT LIVING YOUR LIFE.
 
You have made someone else your EVERYTHING.
And You have GIVEN Your Life for it.
 
So F-cking STOP!!!
 
Instead look in the mirror and start telling the most important person in your life how
 
AMAZING they are.
That YOU LOVE 💖 Them.
That they are WORTHY.
That they CAN HAVE IT ALL!!!!
 

Start with you Baby!

You were born for GREATNESS.

 
But You have to CLAIM IT for Yourself.
No One Else can do this for you.
 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

 
Join me in October for 5 weeks of transformation,
where YOU Claim Your LIFE in 2018 Once and For All.
Message me for details….
 

Sick As Shit, But NOT Accepting This.

I most likely “should” not be doing this today, after all I am sick.
I am recovering from this nasty as f*ck cold that took over my voice, my chest, my head, my sinuses. Keeping me awake hours all night and just not letting me sleep like a hungry lover who never is fulfilled.

I most likely “should” just cancel my day and F-ck it!
I most likely “should” go to the doctor and get some med’s to help me bust through this shit quicker.

Yeppers.
That is what I most likely “SHOULD” do.

But that is NOT what leaders do.
That is not what high vibe peep’s do.
That is not what those of us who have dreams do.

No.
It sure is f*uck not.

I might be sick.
I certainly need to take some TLC time.
I most defiantly need rest and a few good nights sleep.
But incorporating a practice of “shoulding on myself?”
I am F-CK NO to that one.

That will not heal me quicker or help me reach my goals.
It will not bring my being to a higher VIBE.

It will dilute me.
It will suck me dry from the false judgement,
the ego,
the fear,
the resistance of being all of me.

It will prevent me from SHINING my Mother F-cking Light as strong as I WANT to.

The issue is NOT in the things that I say I “should” do or “should not” do.

The issue is the SHOULD.

The statement of should say’s that I am basing…
My life,
My health,
My beliefs,
My goals,
My style,
My attitude,
My sex,
My money,
My LIGHT

on what I BELIEVE the world thinks I should do or should not do/be/have.

It is not based on WHO I AM, but on who I think society will accept the most.

There is the issue.

You know this issue, don’t you?
I bet you know it intimately even.

Maybe to intimately to acknowledge even,
keeping this relationship with “SHOULD” in the hiding as much as you can.
Acting as though you are removed from it,
Like you divorced it.
You don’t have that issue any longer.
That was the old you.

The new you is…

ENLIGHTENED.

Right?

Hahahahahahahahah…..
Okay sure.

I will let you sit there with that.
And I will sit here with mine.
And we can just sit in silence of our hiding our truth for just a second longer.

But here is the issue in that….

I can ONLY sit here a second with it.
I simply don’t have the time to give my life to all the “SHOULD’S and SHOULD NOT’S”

I simply KNOW with CERTAINTY that they will NEVER provide me with anything that I want.

They will only steal my breath.
They will only take my dreams and bury them in the waste land of a life that COULD HAVE BEEN.

They will only fill my soul with REGRET.

No.

I sure as F-CK DO NOT have more than a second of my time to sit here with you, in the silence of not chasing my dreams.

I know with CERTAINTY that God has my back.
I know with CERTAINTY that anything I truly put my mind, heart and attention to will manifest like f-cking magick for me.

I know with CERTAINTY that you can have this too.

But FIRST.
First you have to let go of your shoulding nature.

First you have to say goodbye to it,
let yourself cry your tears of mourning of letting go of all that holds you back,
(she coughs)
Yes your hold backs, those things that feel so f-cking safe and comfortable.

I KNOW you don’t want to admit it.
I KNOW you want to cringe at the realization of it.
I KNOW that you find yourself holding your breath,
feeling guilt or shame even around it,
But it is F-CKING TRUE.

Isn’t it?

Imagine if you just FINALLY accepted that you were limitless.
Imagine if you just FINALLY decided to get selfish.
Imagine if you just FINALLY chose to say YES,
Yes to YOU.

Who would you be?
What would you have?
Where would you go?
What would you do?

Imagine if you just stopped shoulding on yourself.
What would it FEEL like with out the should in your life?

Seriously,
I am the one who is SICK AS F-CK here…
I am the one that “should” be crying in my yogurt about how crappy I feel,
How tired I am,
How shitty my body feels today,
How much I still have to do and have no energy for.

F-CK THAT!
You won’t catch me doing that.

Instead,
Instead you will see me leaning in to the discomfort of
SAYING YES….

YES, to the most important person in this Mother F-cking world.

YES to ME.

Saying YES
to self care,
telling myself that I am worthy,
that I am lovable,
that I am unf-cking stoppable,
that I am powerful,
beautiful,
magnetic
and healthy.

Sh*t Ain’t Going To Get Me Down.
I will step past that “Should Pile” and I will put on my shoes,
eat my yogurt and strawberries,
drink my coffee and water,
write out my commandments of manifestation,
BREATHE in Life.
And SHINE.

Now the ONLY Question of the day that remains,
Is what will you do with your “should pile?”

STOP Stepping in it!
That is what I highly recommend.

And As Always, 
Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

Why July Is Your Sticking Point but COULD be Your F-ck Yes! Month.

Wow! July is upon us in just a few days. Fireworks are starting to fill the nights sky if you are out of the city far enough. I was out in Princeton last night and enjoyed watching my kids ride bikes, have a water balloon fight, get so excited about feeding the farmers horses and goats down the way and even more enthusiastic over trying to catch fire flies. The night sky was lovely and in the evenings simplicity it was a fuck yes night.
However as the temperature is rising, the lull of summer heat, activities and exhaustion has come over many of us and with it there is a silencing of our desire to move forward with our inner work. Many people are struggling to push through things at this time of the year. Summer time with as much fun as it presents also bares with it a sense of frustration and overwhelm.
Half the year is gone.
Another month has passed and still things are just lingering out there.
That fuck yes lifestyle, that fuck yes relationship are still not here. The problem is not your surroundings or often even your  lack of focus. The issue falls to your JOY, your LOVE, your FLOW.
We try to get what we want by controlling what we already have
 
We try to demand the universe/God to give us our desired life/relationship by focusing on what we don’t want to have happen and thus creating exactly what we don’t want to have happen.
We become MORE logical.
More controlled.
More rigid in our ways.
When what we need to do is lean into and breathe deeper into the natural flow of abundance that is all around each of us. We need to dance more, laugh more, enjoy more, sex more, orgasm more, cry more.
Anytime we shut down any emotion and try and control our feelings about things we in turn shut down life. We shut down our abundance.
It is your birth  right to have a life of abundance, joy, love and orgasm.
Will you accept it?
Life moves forward no matter what you decide. And please don’t try and say that your not ready to decide, because that in itself is a decision. Movement toward or away from just like choosing to stand still are all CHOICES.
Life is happening NOW! Where are you at?
-KW
Be sure to check out Orgasmic Life Coaching for Men & Women and start creating your Fuck Yes! Life NOW!!!!

I think your a sex addict… are you though?

fantasy sex

So, can sex be a true addiction? I can’t tell you how often people not only ask me this question but also how often I’ll hear people throw the words “Sex Addict” around.

Lately I have seen several articles and been involved in a few conversations with colleagues about Sex Addiction. In my experience people tend to have strong feelings around this topic.

Some people say that sex addiction is just another way to pathologize people and label them. Others say that sex is like a drug and can be used/abused, can be dangerous, and something to be approached with care. I believe both can be and are true.

I personally have worked in the past with people that have been labeled as sex addicts. Some of these individuals I believe were indeed mislabeled and yet others had created severe damage in their lives in the pursuit of sex. I’ve listened to stories from my past clients about going broke, ruining relationships, ending up in jail, and ruining their health in order to find sex.

So to me, the question is not if Sex Addiction (or abuse of sex) is real because I have seen the damage in my clients’ lives. I think the question is what is and what is not sex addiction!

What is Sex Addiction?

            Technically there is no such thing as sex addiction in terms of medical terminology. An addiction of any form is simply a laymen’s term for what the medical and psychological community call abuse/dependence. The closest medical term that has been offered for what society considers Sex Addiction is “Hypersexual Disorder” which was not approved for usage in the latest addition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manuel (DSM 5), which is where all diagnoses of psychological disorders come from. Some also consider withholding sex a form of sex addition (“Sexual Anorexia”), which would fall under the category of Hypo-sexual disorder. Also, medical professionals have been unable to even determine what sex addiction is because it is often used to define any behavior that deviates from societal norms. This includes “excessive” sexual intercourse, masturbation, viewing of pornography, partners, etc.

            The National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity has defined sexual addiction as “engaging in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others.” Since there is no agreed upon definition of what a sex addiction is, I would like to offer what I use with my clients to determine when someone has entered an unhealthy territory in the way of sexual behaviors.

•           Are you able to function in your daily life? (Going to work, taking care of adult     responsibilities, taking care of physical health, etc.)

•           Are you continuing to engage in behaviors despite intense dangers to your physical           health, career, or financial well-being?

•           Are you unable to stop the behaviors despite them no longer bringing you pleasure?

If someone says, “Yes,” to the above situation, then they very well might be stuck in an addictive cycle with sex, porn, or masturbation. Thankfully there are many wonderful therapists/coaches that work with sex addiction and can help determine what emotional needs are trying to be met through these behaviors.

What Sex Addiction is NOT!

Often Sex Addiction is used as a scapegoat for Cheating, Lying, Jealousy, and Taboo behaviors. As long as the below behaviors are not stopping normal adult functioning, a sex addiction is not:

•           Cheating: Just because a partner is enjoying sex with another person(s) does not mean    they are addicted. It means that there is a breakdown somewhere in the communication and the relationship. Often women particularly will struggle emotionally with the thought of a partner cheating and so will label that other person a sex addict. I believe people often see it as a more acceptable/ less embarrassing than having to admit their partner  cheated OR the person engaging in the infidelity finds it easier than having to manage the repercussions of infidelity.  Cheating can cause emotional turmoil on both sides but   that does not make it a sex addiction

•           Polyamory/Open Relationships: Just because a person chooses a different lifestyle does not make them have an addiction. Often people are under the impression that people in   these types of relationships are “sex crazed” and are constantly engaging in dangerous sexual experiences. Research studies have actually shown the exact opposite, that people in these relationships communicate and take more precautions for safety in sex than single/monogamous couples. However, instead of learning about these lifestyles, it is easier to smack a label on a person or think they are just choosing that lifestyle for the sex.

•           Pornography: I do not personally like pornography because I think it can push unhealthy standards but a person does not have an addiction just because they enjoy viewing  pornography. Viewing porn can be a healthy part of adult sexual experiences. Many couples pursue pornography to add spice into a relationship and many single people use it to meet their basic human needs in a safe and healthy manner.

•           Enjoying Sex/Sex-ploration: Many times I will hear people throw the word sex addict out when they hear about a person engaging in more sex then they deem “appropriate.” Based on religious beliefs, upbringing, and our society, many people have strong ideals on what is and is not okay. The truth is we have no right to tell others when their desires/needs have been met or to limit them according to our personal ideals of sex. A person could have a new sex partner every night for a year and still not be a sex addict!

•           Masturbation: Again, masturbation is a super healthy aspect of human sexuality and does not mean a person is a sex addict. Our bodies are meant to be enjoyed and so we don’t get to tell others how often that is okay.

•           Taboo Sex: As we expand as a society, more and more people are venturing into new       sexual territory. There is a reason why 50 Shades of Grey took the nation by storm! In our ignorance of a sexual preference we often label people as having a “problem.” As adults we have the right to explore whatever we like in the privacy of our own bedroom (outside of illegal preferences such as child abuse or animal abuse).  Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t make it an addiction.

Sex Addiction is serious and can very much ruin a person’s life. If a person truly has a sex addiction then they do need help to put their lives back together. In true sexual addiction, the person needs to explore the pain and patterns that are keeping them stuck in a destructive cycle. There are some amazing therapy and treatment centers out there to help these individuals. Though beware because there are some other treatment centers that turn this addiction into a moral issue and will try to shame the addiction out of a person or suggest taking on habits such as celibacy. These treatments are not effective and will often just drive the addict deeper into the addiction long-term.

Sex Addiction is not a scapegoat phrase or something to be thrown around in order to express your dislike of a person’s sexual behaviors. It’s not an excuse for infidelity and not a rationale for someone having a high sexual appetite.

Original Article  by Addison Bell, Tantric Practitioner & Coach

Polyamory vs. Monogamy: What Do You Think?

woman2menI know that I have many people that I am working with who are coming to a point in their lives and relationships where having and “Open Relationship” has become appealing to them. But there is much concern as to if it is dangerous or not to have this sort of sexual/intimate relating and the main causes of concern are:
* How will jealousy play a role?
* Won’t one or both of us feel like the other is not invested or committed as much anymore?
* What happen’s if I truly love two people at the same time? Is this manageable or will it destroy the relationships?
* Does having multiple partners increase my chances of catching a sexually transmitted disease?
* What about time management?
* How do I deal with what other’s think? i.e. friends, parents, children, etc.
* How do I bring up the conversation of opening my primary relationship?
Just to name a few concerns….

I am not going to address all of this here, as this list of concerns is a whole workshop in it’s own. However, I do want to say that I agree with Dan Savage on his comeback and I will state that for the last four years I have been blessed to enjoy a deep loving, authentic relating and sexually open relationship with my two lovers. Both men fulfill me in different aspects. My relationship is unique with each and yet similar.

Last year I opened a channel of communication of allowing each of them to ask me five question’s, they could be any question and I agreed to answer 100% authentically no matter how hard it may be to state my truth. My primary partner Scott asked me, ” Have you ever considered a primary relationship with B?” – My response and the honest truth was, “Yes.” How could I have not? Here is a man I adore and love with my heart, soul and body just as I feel for Scott, I feel for B. Each man pulling to my surface an aspect of myself that without his presence I would not get a chance to explore, heal and love. Each man compliments my internal masculine in a similar but different fashion and allow’s me to be stronger in my divine feminine. Each open’s me and teaches me how to expand my heart, surrender more fully, and accept more gracefully the lead of the divine masculine.

In all honesty, I cannot, nor do I ever wish to imagine or experience my life without each of these gentlemen in it. Do I need either of them? No. I feel strong enough in myself and my path to say that I make the conscious choice each day to open myself to each of them and dance in life with them. It is not a state of need and therefore jealousy does not play a strong role in my relating. I am not with either of them to try and change them into someone that I believe they should be either. Therefore I am able to step away from much of my ego based issues and just enjoy each of them for who they are in the moment and how they each choose to show up in life with me.

As far as sexually transmitted diseases and open relationship’s go, just an FYI that monogamy does not mean security. Many studies have been done in recent years to see if polyamorous people are more likely to catch a sexually transmitted diseases than monogamous people. The stat’s were about equal. But how is this possible if one group of people are only sleeping with the same person and the other group has multiple partners?

Well, here is the truth.
When people cheat they do not think to have safe sex. They do not use a condom most of the time.
When people are involved in an open lifestyle they typically know that they have to have these conversations about diseases, protection and when someone got tested or not. They also think about boundaries, safe words, precautions and deeper levels of authentic communication that many monogamous people never consider. Does this mean that you can’t enjoy bare sex with two partners or that it is a bad idea? The answer here is no. Of course you can enjoy bare sex with two partners, as long as all partners are on board with it and communication is in place as well as taking into consideration that bare sex is a symbol of deep connection, trust and COMMITMENT. So if anyone decides to bring in another party then the safety jackets are back on.

Having an open relationship or multiple partners DOES NOT mean that you love less. It means that you LOVE MORE! This sort of relating when done in a mature, proactive, no ego driven or need fashion can be very healing and a great teacher. Is it for everyone? No. But should it be condemned or stated that such a relationship between 3, 4 or even 5 people cannot last long term? No again. Most monogomous relationships end in divorce after years of fighting, suffering and sexless relating. Do these long term relationships seem successful? If you answered yes then you may need to examine what your view of success is and then ask yourself if they are really examples of unconditional love too. Then look at an open relationship such as Dan Savage and his wife, shared below….

Successful? Unconditionally loving?
You be the judge.

–KW

Dan Savage at Inforum 9460747644 cropped to Savage

Dan Savage’s devastating reply to Helen Fisher

That New York Times story a couple days ago?The Secrets to an Open Marriage According to Mo’Nique?Which quoted the once-respected anthropologist Helen Fisher saying she just somehow knows these things “never end up working long-term”?

Dan Savage just published a takedown:

Dan Savage in 2013
…The Oscar-winning actress [Mo’Nique] and her husband [Sidney Hicks] are double rarity: not just a straight couple who aren’t in the closet about their open marriage, but a famous straight couple in an openly open marriage.

…[Writer Tammy] La Gorce gets a few quotes from someone who comes across as pretty sane about open marriages — Douglas LaBier, a psychologist and the director of the Center for Progressive Development — but La Gorce pretty much hands the rest of the piece over to someone who has clearly lost her mind: Helen Fisher, author, “biological anthropologist at the Kinsey Institute” (RIP Kinsey Institute), and shill for a dating website, where Fisher has been doing important research on the best strategy for getting a second date (take ’em out for sushi) and what it means when a person uses a lot of emojis (they’re horny as fuck).

…Where to start?

With Fisher’s insulting claim to know better than Mo’Nique and Hicks about how the Mo’Nique and Hicks really feel about their marriage? (They only think they’re happy, those deluded human animals!) With Fisher’s yanked-from-her-ass assertions about evolutionary pressures that supposedly endowed all modern humans with genes that allow for just one type of romantic “bond” (only pairs, always sexually exclusive!) and just one successful “mating process” (only pairs, again, and it’s all about the kids!)? With Fisher’s assertion — offered without any data to back it up — that open marriages “never end up working long-term”?

Let’s start with that.

“Just because there is a lack of good data on the longevity of open relationships does not mean that ‘they never work out,'” said Dr. Debby Herbenick, a research scientist at Indiana University. “Saying ‘they never work out’ goes beyond any data she has; I would ask her to prove it. Where are her data? I know of none to support that.”

Dr. Herbenick has data that contradicts Fisher’s “they never work out” and “all people in non-monogamous couples are secretly miserable” bullshit.

“Similar proportions of men in monogamous and open relationships say they are happy in their relationship and sexually satisfied,” said Dr. Herbenick, citing ACTUAL FUCKING DATA from the IU School of Public Health’s 2014 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior. “For women, more women in monogamous relationships say that they are happy in their relationship and sexually satisfied. But that doesn’t mean none are happy or satisfied, as plenty are.”

…On a personal note/anecdote: my husband and I recently celebrated our 21st anniversary and our marriage has been open for 17 of those years. Hey, maybe Terry and I need Helen Fisher to swing by the house and explain to us how we’re really secretly miserable, just like Mo’Nique and Hicks….

Moving on…

Fisher’s bizarre theory of brain adjacency: the chunks of our brainz involved in romantic love are located near the chunks of brainz that “orchestrate” thirst and hunger and that’s why there’s no such thing as a successful open marriage. CASE CLOSED!

That sounded like complete bullshit — and not just to me.

“It is a rather odd claim to say that the reason a phenotypic trait will operate the way it does is because a particular brain region responsible for it is adjacent to other brain regions which do something else,” said Dr. Qazi Rahman, King’s College London. “That kind of model of brain-behaviour relationships would generate all sorts of very odd predictions which most neuroscientists or neuropsychologists would find strange. But then all behaviour and mental activity is ‘in the brain’ and so I’m not clear making these sorts of claims does any useful explanatory work for behavioural scientists.”

“There is an entire network of the brain involved in romantic love,” said Dr. James Pfaus…. [Fisher] doesn’t get it. She has never gotten it. Her view of the brain is a neurochemical phrenology.”

…”I spoke with Helen at a conference once,” a researcher who did not wish to be identified told me in an email. “Helen said there is a single gene that will determine whether a man cheats or not. We carefully explained why this couldn’t be so.”

Fisher, like so many other hacks in the love-and-relationship racket, wants sex and love and marriage to work in a certain way — they insist it only works this one way — and this monogamist bias informs and distorts Fisher’s work.

“I enjoy Helen’s stuff, but think she’s blind to her cultural bias on this one,” said Dr. David Ley. “I’d be interested in whether she truly thinks monogamy ‘works’ long-term, given divorce and infidelity rates. I think the most damaging piece of Fisher’s approach is her generalization of her beliefs to all humans. The valuable thing about modern relationships is the ability to individually negotiate a relationship, based upon each partners’ needs, strengths and deficits.”…

ORIGINAL ARTICLE