THIS is How You Get Your Woman to Want Your SEX!

“Baby you know I want you to love me! All I want is for you to tell me how you will do this! So I can think of you loving me! Don’t you want me to think about you constantly loving me? to keep me so horny for you?”
 
It’s laughable is it not?
 
Yet THIS is how so many unconscious men believe that women want to be spoken too.
 
THIS is how so many men believe women want to be related too.
 
THIS is how so many unconscious men believe INTIMACY to be.
 
But it’s NOT!
 
Over and over again I witness in different ways,
from messages and emails, texts and actual conversations.
 
From people in my practice who are clients to people who want to be clients.
 
From the lovers in my life,
current and past.
 
I witness from men the concept that women have the same turn on switches as men.
 
The reality is that 90% of the time THIS could not be further from the truth.
And when men approach women in the way men get turned on,
touching us the way they think we want to be touched,
which typically only provides them with pleasure,
speaking about intimacy, sex, relationship, connection in the way that turns them on but never slowing the eff down enough to inquire what makes us happy, aroused, ignited…
 
THEY TURN US THE F-CK OFF!
 
Not On.
 
Statements such as the one above are not about:
connection
intimacy
igniting the woman
learning her
sharing
or even viewing her as human.
 
These statements are about:
“What can she do for me?”
“How can she turn me on?”
“How can she pleasure me?”
 
It is a statement of USE.
And turns your woman or the woman you are speaking too into a masturbation tool.
 
NOTHING More.
 
If we aim to turn a potential partner or our partner on,
if we aim to arouse someone,
then we MUST learn how to relate to them.
 
Now men get turned on by visual stimulation,
men get turned on by mental stimulation, fantasy.
Men get turned on by sexy talk.
Men want to witness the act,
and they want this because sex happens outside their body.
It is happening on the outside layer of them not internally.
They get ignited sexually first.
The heart and emotions come second,
and when the sex diminishes so does the heart.
 
Women on the flip side,
get turned on by feeling adored,
feeling safe, feeling like her partner is into her,
appreciating her for her thoughts,
her views and ideas,
women get aroused by sensual touch or compassionate touch,
women feel connected when their partner inquires about her day and life AND LISTENS to her response instead of the football game.
Women need to actually LIKE their mate and feel their heart/emotions.
When a woman is opened up in her heart,
her sex opens with it.
When her heart closes,
her sex follows.
And she DOES NOT FEEL YOU any more.
 
So if you really want to ignite your woman,
or any woman for that matter,
heed this message.
 
And penetrate her heart first.
be a good guy that is compassionate and INTO her as a HUMAN BEING,
inquire about her likes, dislikes,
her day and views.
Get into the FEELS with her by sharing how you actually view things, feel about different stuff and show her that you are HUMAN too.
STOP touching her for your arousal and start asking her how she wants to be touched.
 
Learn your woman.
Not by insisting that she relate to sex, relationship and intimacy the way you do,
but instead by honoring the beautiful feminine that she is.
Which is FEELING.
Which is HEART CENTERED.
 
And then look out,
because once you open her heart to you,
(if she is into you like that, which you have no f-cking actual control over BTW)
then she will ROCK YOU sexually as well.
 
Or keep relating the way you have been,
and wonder why women are moody,
shut down,
on edge,
and walk away from you.
 
Your choice.
 
I suggest being a CONSCIOUS MAN.
 
Because Average and Ordinary ain’t no fun.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Working with couples and singles on have a F-ck Yes! sex and intimacy life is a passion of mine. I believe that YOU are worthy of that and more. Message me for deet’s on how I help you create a kick a*s love and financial life today. I work with people globally.
https://www.tantrictransformation.com/micro-consult/

It’s All About You Being Turned On BABY!

Turn it on BABY!
 
You can do it.
No matter what is happening.
No matter the storms that may be in your midst,
no matter what you fear,
what worries you and is scratching at your heals.
 
Turn it on BABY!
 
That’s where your power comes from.
That’s where the shift occurs.
That’s how you create the momentum.
 
It’s all about you TURNING IT ON.
 
This life of yours,
it’s your SHOW.
It’s all about you becoming you.
Learning you,
and you SHINE.
 
Those fears and doubts,
those worries that block you up and make you stumble,
that is not you baby.
That is but only your resistance to who you are.
That void that you feel rising up at times that trouble,
that void is only the separation between who you are allowing yourself to be and your SOUL.
 
Your TRUTH.
 
So TURN IT ON!
 
Because BABY,
You see when you turn on that light within,
when you tap into that powerhouse of energy,
when you let your SOUL SHINE,
you are truly UNSTOPPABLE.
 
You are a force in nature that cannot be shut down,
your heart,
your soul,
your beauty,
it is magnetic, true and divine.
And this baby,
this is who you are.
You have got to know,
you have just got t o know…
 
That feeling that resides,
deep within your CORE,
that voice inside,
that speaks those words,
they scare you because of their power,
they scare you because you doubt your worthiness,
but you KNOW.
 
Your desire is what keeps you coming back.
Your desire to feel this feeling.
This beautiful,
breathtaking feeling of your SURRENDER.
 
And what are you surrendering too baby?
 
To SELF.
To SOUL.
To that feeling.
 
And oh, how it washes over you,
like the breath of a lover,
your flesh ignites,
your heart pulse increases,
you feel flushes,
and excited.
You want to open to it,
you know you do.
Despite your fear….
 
You desire.
 
Desire this SURRENDER.
And so you must,
you must simply TURN IT ON.
 
But how do you turn on this light?
How do you just let go and allow all that you want to move through you?
How to surrender to your desire,
your dreams,
your POWER?
 
Simple, baby….
it’s about letting go of the reigns of control.
It’s about letting go of that which is so logical.
It’s about stepping into your messiness,
your chaos,
your creative vibe.
It’s about playing.
Laughing.
Being turned on to life.
And it’s about no longer doubting WHO YOU ARE.
 
Because baby,
you are magnificent.
You are powerful,
you are more than you can imagine.
And you are unstoppable.
 
But baby,
you know what you must do…
It’s the work of JUST DOING.
It’s doing that DAMN THING.
The THING that you fear the most.
Yes that THING…
and that thing is what is holding you back,
so let go baby,
and do the damn thing,
open up,
surrender to everything that you want my dear.
 
If you could only see,
that what you want,
wants you too,
and it there,
RIGHT THERE,
on the other side of your resistance.
 
It is there on the other side of the curtain that you are holding up,
blinding you from the life that you so badly want.
It is there.
But you must put your fears and doubts down.
You must allow yourself to FEEL.
You must surrender to your pleasure,
your TURN ON,
your WANTING of it.
And turn away from your fear of not having.
 
Yes BABY,
this is the thing,
the thing that you must do to have it all.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living – GET TURNED ON!
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believer”

This Man in My Bed.

The man in my bed. 
He is like no other man that has graced my sheets with splendor.
He is like no other man who has captured my essence, 
if for a flicker in time. 
He is like no one before him who thought they could penetrate my soul while f-cking my body.

No.

This man in my bed is for sure like no other.

I could tell you it’s in his moans, 
its in the way his tone changes during our sexing.
I could tell you that it’s about how he holds me, 
how he takes my hand firmly to let me know he is leading.
I could tell you its about how he tells me what he wants, 
how he wants me to wrap myself around him, 
to open to him more, 
I could tell you that its about how he massages my cervix, 
and knows how to move just right.

Sure I could say all of that, 
but none of that would be true.

The man in my bed. 
He is certainly like no other, 
and though his skill is far above most, 
his body pleasing to my touch and eye, 
it is not these things either.

I could tell you that its in his kiss, 
and let me assure you that I might have to sit and ponder, 
for his kiss is beyond measure.

I could tell you that its in his smooth conversation, 
in his depth, or in his knowledge.
I could tell you that its because he is a good mind f-ck, 
as he most certainly always make me think.

I could tell you that its because he makes me laugh, 
as he always puts a smile on my face.

Yes I could tell you these things, 
and they would add to the pool of reasons, 
as why he is so yummy.
But it would still not scratch the surface, 
as to why this man in my bed is like no other.

So let me tell you. 
Tell you now I will.

This man in my bed is like no other, 
he holds my respect.
he ignites my soul, 
he turns me on with his presence, 
and captivates me with his certainty.

This man in my bed, 
is like no other, 
he has me wanting more of him, 
he has me wanting to show up for him.

This man in my bed makes me want to earn him, 
all the while revealing to me how beautiful I am in his eyes.

This man, 
this man must have read my journal, 
he must have been given a copy by God, 
because as we lay here in my bed, 
I watch my desires unfold, 
they are handed to me, 
one by one, 
and as he leans over and kisses my neck, 
as he roams my flesh, 
as he whispers his desires in my ear, 
this man in my bed, 
in unaware.

He looks at me with a smirk, 
he inquires about my Mona Lisa smile, 
he knows I am hiding something, 
but how do I tell this man.

How do I tell him my truth?

And what is my truth anyway?

This man in my bed, 
he wants my love, 
he wants my mind, 
he wants my flesh, 
he wants me, 
fully.

And he wonders.

This man in my bed is like no other, 
and one day he may come to realise, 
that all that he wants is already his.

This man who holds me so perfectly, 
who I respect and admire, 
who I feel penetrated by with each word, 
with each look, 
this man, 
he is different than any other, 
and I tell you right now, 
he is very different.

I see more than this moment.
I desire the sunrise, 
and sunset, 
I desire more than a day, 
or even a month or a year. 
This man has me wanting him, 
and that does not happen with such ease.

Yet this man, 
this man in my bed, 
smooth as velvet, 
he has me wanting,

Wanting for more.

————————————————-
This goes out to all those men who want to turn their lady on, 
who want to know they are wanted, 
this goes out to all you gents who desire to conquer a woman’s heart and soul, 
and wonder why another so effortlessly might do just that. 
This goes out to you, 
you who want to fully penetrate your woman.
And question how it can be done.

Let me tell you the secret, 
that she will never confess.

Yes the answer sweet man is this, 
it’s in your lead, 
it’s about her respect, 
and how you respect her back, 
it amout how she can melt into you, 
how you carry her heart, 
and hold her in her emotions, 
its about the silent moments, 
and how present you remain, 
it’s about how you touch her, 
not her flesh but her mind.

Yes here is how you do it.
Here is how you make love to her. 
Learn to stroke her this way, 
whole being.
And let her open. 
And you too, ‘will have all that you want.

As Always, 
Stop Existing & Start Living

Hey there gents want to learn more about living as an extraordinary man? Want to gather the skills and confidence to show up for your woman like this?

Be that bad a*s man that you know that you are, 
but have told not to reveal to this world?

Yes, I am talking to you. 
Come explore my 1:1 men’s private coaching
And until Christmas use code SANTAGIFT to get an additional 2-months for free. 

Ageing Backward, Is That A Thing?

Some day’s I feel beautiful.
Someday’s I feel youthful.
Someday’s I feel vibrant.
And those someday’s are most day’s,
these day’s.
 
They say age is just a number.
They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
They say that wrinkles show character and wisdom.
They say a lot, don’t they…
whoever they are.
 
But what about aging backward?
Is it possible?
 
I believe it is.
 
I believe it because most day’s I live it.
Most day’s I glow,
I feel all the above.
Granted you could say it is because I am obsessive about skin care,
and this I am.
However, there is so much more to it.
 
Glowing youthfulness comes from being turned on to life.
Vibrancy comes from letting the universe f-ck you wide open.
Beauty comes from loving yourself.
 
Good orgasm,
plays a massive role too.
And I mean orgasm,
not just sex.
There are plenty of times in life where sex can drain your ass instead of give you an afterglow,
and the afterglow only comes from being filled up with all those yummie chemicals that ONLY orgasm can provide most effectively.
 
But on top of that,
youthful skin, appearance and radiance comes from being a tad bit selfish and making space for self-care practices.
It also comes from not polluting your mind with draining negative stinking thinking.
 
You can do all the right things with diet.
You can do all the right things with skin care.
If you’re mindset is wrong,
if you are not overflowing with orgasmic energy,
if you are not taking daily TLC time for you,
and most importantly,
if you are not living in your JOY.
 
Then guess what beautiful?
You will age.
and age quickly.
No matter what the years are for you,
your glow tells the truth of your state of being.
Of your VIBE.
 
Are you blah?
Are you pale?
Are you dried out?
Are you squinting and making angry faces,
when you are “not thinking about anything?”
 
What does your energy toward life say about your vibrance?
 
Are you ready to JUMP UP,
get a start on life and the day?
 
or are you a grumpy little dwarf?
 
Okay Beautiful,
you don’t have to wither away.
No one wishes this for you,
least of all God or your soul.
 
But when you look in the mirror,
when you truly stop and look,
look into your eye’s and feel your heart.
What does your soul have to say?
Is she happy?
 
Want to really get a clear answer?
cup your pussy with one hand,
and place your hand on your heart with the other.
Now look yourself in the eye.
Feel.
 
F-E-E-L into your body.
Feel past your body.
Tap into SOUL Baby.
 
What does she say?
Is she happy?
Is she turned on?
Is she ignited?
In love?
orgasmic?
 
Want to age backward without botox or surgery?
The answer is SOUL.
 
Soul Alignment.
 
That’s right sistar!
Your soul want’s you to take the plunge into her,
your soul desires to embody you,
she wants you to look in the mirror and truly feel your authentic self.
She wants you to stop caring what everyone else thinks,
or what you perceive they are thinking.
She wants you to claim your mother f-cking life as the badass bitch that you are and stop being the people pleasing pussy that you pretend to be.
 
You are worthing BABY!
It is high effing time that you just accept who you are,
who you were born to be,
and take that step into your greatness.
 
Afterall, you’re not getting any younger.
Or are you?
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
——————————————————————————
Join me for the last season of Orgasmic Life Coaching for Women 1:1 VIP Coaching.
This signature women’s coaching is available to any woman who desires to tap into her authentic self and live as the goddess that she was born to be.
 
In life,
in love,
in sex,
in business.
 
It is your time to CLAIM your Queenship BABY!
Grab one of the last 3 spot’s available for this signature coaching program.
Available worldwide.
 
Sign up before Christmas with code SANTAGIFT and get two months for FREE.

Wanting, Willing & Taking – Understanding Desire

” A gift unopened is a gift not valued.”- KW

threesome

” There I lay with my legs spread wide open as I looked my lover in the eye’s. He was sweating, heated, passionate. Full of arousal and pleasure. His turn on was fulfilling at a deep level. With every thrust of his cock I could sense that this experience was beyond his anticipation and I was honored that I could gift him with it. As he thrusted himself into another’s woman pussy and she was devouring mine I could tell that the sheer act that I would be open to another woman going down on me and to make matters even more divine that she would be eating me out while he was having his way with her doggy style and getting to watch her enjoying me was by far the best Christmas present I could have come up with.

As she gasped for air and moaned from her pleasure and turn on he too became more aroused and leaned deeper into his own pleasure. From my vantage their joy and pleasure were beyond beauty. I found myself caught not in pleasure, not in rapture or orgasm of the physical realms but that of a deep emotional love for this man. In this moment I truly was not body present, if anything I was physically turned off from my own orgasm, but what I had discovered was a sexual giving that could not be touched and a beauty and appreciation for this world and our sex that I did not understand prior.

The adventure moved forward and before long I found myself in a 69 position with this woman and my partner now taking turns fucking her pussy up close and personal not more that a few inches away from eyes and face and then occasionally pulling out of her and thrusting deep into my mouth. Every time he switched from pussy to mouth or vise versa I could see the pulsing energy of his cock expand and he wanted so badly to take all that he could out of this moment. Once again I found myself hearing her moans, feeling her body on top of mine, her breathing changing and her body quivering, her pussy dripping with juices and wanting more but I could not feel her tongue, her lips and fingers as they danced along my vulva and found themselves in me. No, once again I was not able to truly drop down into my body and feel what was happening. But I could feel the high orgasmic energy of my partner and of our playmate. In this instance I found a new arousal yet again, it was a sort of mystery and joy combined in some sexual dance as I watched his cock and balls penetrate and slap up against her and then felt him not just quiver but literally vibrate as he penetrated my mouth. Holding his very hard cock deep in my throat, just past that tight spot I could get little gasps of air as he pulsed and moaned. This, this made me aroused. This activated me some.

Before long I was now on my back, our playmate sitting back sharing how great her view was. My pussy wide open before her and my partner now between my legs now taking me fully while she watched and masturbated to our live lovemaking scene. I could hear her moan, I could smell her in the room. His groans and growls with his ever deepening penetration was a turn on but once again, it was a mental and emotional turn on, it was a deeply intimate affair that made my heart leap with joy but my orgasm was no where to be found physically.”

This was a small take away from my first ever threesome with another woman. I had decided that I was going to gift my partner with something that he had always desired. A fantasy of his and I was over joyed that the whole experience was so beautiful. I still hold so much gratitude to the woman that we chose to share this moment with and who helped to deepen our intimacy as a couple. I wanted to gift the man I love with something I knew he had never been given and I was ecstatic that I was a woman who was willing to play in territories that were not always comfortable or about myself. I had not always been this way, my self-doubt, guilt, shame and concepts of giving and receiving had changed tremendously through the years and still do from time to time as I learn about myself and my own needs and desires. However I can say that the ability to share oneself without a need to receive is something that I cherish in myself. I also cherish the fact that I am extremely comfortable stating my boundaries and desires as well as needs in these areas.

As much as I love to give without receiving I also am not afraid to ask for what I desire. I have learned that giving of this nature can only happen when I myself am in a state of fullness and even better if my cup runneth over with orgasmic bliss already, as in these times are when I am not only willing to give and excited about it, but I want to give freely. In such moments I find my orgasm in others. I feel it when they express their joy, their pleasure. I feel my turn on not in the physical but in my heart and I experience a deeper layer of orgasmic living through this. These moments to me are very unsexual. They are playful education that help me remain in a state of acceptance, appreciation and openness.

This is where one’s willingness and wanting come together in a perfect dance to share love with someone in a special format that is not often understood by any of the parties in the moment it is happening. This is sharing of the unconditional sort.

Willingness Vs. Wanting

We all think that we understand the difference of these two. It seem’s pretty simple. Does it not?

“I am willing to help you move this weekend even though I actually want to just crash and veg on the couch because I am exhausted from the week.”

“I want to go to see Doctor Strange but am willing to see Moana instead.”

These are simple things to see the act of willingness with. The act of giving to another and not doing exactly what we want in the moment so that another can have pleasure with us, or through us  or accomplish something that they might need or want to but would like our help with. This does not make the person receiving self-centered. It does allow them to be selfish though and selfishness is not a bad thing as long as we are willing to be grateful for it, give back when possible and do not ever put another into a situation of harm or trauma.

When we are self-centered we tend to not be concerned about others. In these times we express our desires for what we feel are our needs or wants and we do not stop to think about the cost to others, nor do we care. When we are self-centered we are like a bull in a friends china shop and we disregard everything but what we are focused on. We also typically do not allow for space to occur for someone else to make a decision of how they feel or if they want, are willing or otherwise around whatever we are pushing for.

Let me share a brief story to help clarify self-centeredness in sexing:

A few years back I worked with a couple and the main spiff they had was around anal sex. The man loved anal sex and the woman occasionally liked it but most of the time was not interested as it was not her major turn on and she had even been hurt during it a few times. The husband could not understand why his wife would not always enjoy this practice so he thought that if he insisted on doing it more consistently and “assured her” that she liked it during the process that she would get a clue and start to enjoy it as much as he did.

When I spoke to the husband he always shared his concern that she was not understanding how great this act was or her own pleasure. He was convinced that her complaints were false and that for some reason she was just trying to take away his pleasure. When I spoke with the wife she shared that it hurt horribly and his aggressive nature, lack of asking her if she was wanting or even willing to play like this caused her a lot of stress. She was ready to pull the plug on the marriage if it continued. And she did in the end. The husband was shocked that she would divorce him for asking for what he wanted and it being such a small matter at that.

This couple shares a true tale of one partner being self-centered and ONLY concerned about his own pleasure and gratification. To the point of insisting that his wife did not understand what was happening with her own body and emotions.

That is not selflishness though!

Selfishness is another animal all together. We miss use the word all the time and therefore tend to wrap guilt and shame around something that is actually needed and we should have more of.
Yes I just said that you and I alike NEED to be selfish more!

Selfishness is when we ask for what we need. Selfishness does not mean that we will always get what we are asking for or that we should, it simply says that we know that we need something and that we know that we need to take care of ourselves. If we need another to help us fulfill this then we need to ask for it but if we can achieve it without another or can look elsewhere then often it is more than okay to do this as long as we remain in openness and integrity.

An example of being selfish would be:

After I had my seventh child I was having a really tough time gaining feeling back in my vaginal walls. It took me almost twice as long as previous postpartums. That did not stop my libido though, but the over tiredness and toddler who slept between my partner and myself plus the newborn did not make for the best of grounds for getting back in the saddle. On top of it when my partner and I had sex I could hardly feel him and could not orgasm. This all started doing a mind fuck on me and I found myself not interested in sex with my partner the way that I wanted to be. I knew that I was depleted of orgasmic energy and all the good hormones that get released and help support our bodies emotionally, mentally and physically when we are full on orgasm. I knew that if I did not get this soon that I would sink into depression even further and my old programs would have a better grip on me than normal. I knew that if I did not take care of myself and frequently that I would loose so much of myself and not be able to give to the world any more. So I took matters into my own hands and got SELFISH!!!!

I masturbated every morning. Being in an open relationship also allowed me to ask for more sex with not just my one partner but to pull in my other partner as well and start working my orgasm out in anyway possible. I asked my partners to go down on me, I asked to use toys, I even created some hot scenes that were playful and shared them and said that I wanted to try them. From someone looking in they may have said, ” This woman is a sex addict, she needs help, she is not thinking about anyone but herself.” They would have been right about one thing, I needed help, I needed to help myself and be selfish and I needed support from those who loved me.

Wanting, willing and taking. When we fully understand the differences we should be able to see the positive and negative that they all carry with them, just like anything in life.

Sometimes our wanting is so strong that it makes us forget about others. Other times our wanting is an act of sharing or a desire that we hope will be granted or at least heard in love and acceptance so that we can feel closer and more seen.

Our willingness is often based on one of three things:

*Love or care for another
*Guilt
*Compromise or control

The last two are based in fear and not even acts of selflessness, but acts of victim-hood and an inability to stand up for our own needs and boundaries. The first is based in love and often is unconditional and if it is conditional we are quick to set our terms.

When we speak of taking, it sounds so mean. Like we are stealing something or causing harm to another by taking. This is only sometimes true. Once again look at the motive behind the act. Look at the act itself. And most importantly realize that in any healthy relationship that one can ONLY take what is offered otherwise it is not a healthy relationship to start with. If you are taking without  being offered then you need to examine your actions and realize that you are causing trauma. If you take something that is being offered  authentically with no ill emotional back lash (i.e. guilt) then you are honoring your relationship and the gift bestowed upon you.

We take forcefully and we also take what we are being gifted. Ask yourself which it is and then choose wisely.

Honor those you love through the  act of unconditional sharing and through the art of receiving. Remember that the gifts given that are unconditional are often the most beautiful.

—KW
*Image from Samarel Liquid Erotica