Vehicular Assault In The Bedroom – Is It Acceptable?

A man is out with his buddies after a long day at the office. They stop into a local pub to have a drink or two and shoot the shit. A few hours go by, they root for the sports team, throw about some “F” bombs, share about the days and the stupid people at work. The man starts to feel tired so decides it’s time to head home to his family.
On his drive home he gets more exhausted and his eyes are heavy. The couple of drinks although they don’t significant impact him are not making things any better right now.
He comes up to an intersection and does not slow down in time, thinking there is not really traffic at this hour and is not overly concerned about running a stop sign in his quiet neighborhood.
Unfortunately, as he roles through the stop sign he hits a pedestrian.
He did not see this person out walking and somehow completely missed their presence on the curb as they stepped off the curb to cross the road.
The man is later charged with vehicular assault. He has his driver’s license taken from him, serves time in jail and pays a hefty fine. He has this mark on his record for some time to come.
Is this right?
Does he deserve to have his whole life tipped upside down over an accident. He was not drunk. He was not speeding. He was not deliberately trying to harm another human.
Yet his life is upside down from this event.
Seriously now, ponder this.
Does he deserve to be punished as the law states?
If he had killed this pedestrian his punishment would have been worse.
Now if you are like most people,
you may say,
“Yes he deserves the punishment.”
–>He was being clumsy and not responsible in his actions.
–>He should have not had as much to drink as he did, stopped sooner, ate some food to offset his alcohol.
–>He should have just gone home in the first place since he was tired.
–>He knew his state of being and should have worked harder at being more present while driving.
–>He knew the streets in his neighborhood well, he knew that the stop sign was there, so he should have stopped.
–> Etc. Etc.
You may also think it brutal that his whole world get’s halted and goes into chaos from the accident, thinking that may be a little harsh BUT, it was ultimately his fault. His mistake and look at what he did to the pedestrian and their life? Can they function fully? Do they need surgery? What came of their life?
Now let’s look at the this same man,
same tail,
He is out to the pub with his buddies, he gets tired and he decides to go home to his loving family. He goes home with no issues. His children greet him on their way to bed, his wife has saved him dinner in the microwave and kisses him hello.
She inquires about his day and he says it was okay, just a bunch of stupid people to deal with as usual.
They settle into watching a TV show and news.
All seems happy and normal.
They go to bed and the man snuggles up behind his wife rubbing her hip and butt a little. He kisses her softly on the neck a couple times. He slips his hand down between her legs from behind to touch her pussy. Tapps it softly with his fingers. Brings his hand back up, spits in his hand and rubs his spit on her vulva that is exposed from this position. He is hard and ready, she is laying on her side holding her breath. She knows what is coming and even though she does not want it, she says nothing. Hoping that maybe he won’t. Maybe he will see that she is not interested.
He rubs the spit around a bit more, grabs his erection and without word sticks it into her. He is on his knees, holding her hip down to hold her on her side. He is forceful, fast and deep in his penetration. He is moaning in pleasure and giving primal earthy groans as he fucks her. She does not move. He continues until he cums.
He lays down behind her, kisses her on the cheek and says,
” I love you. Good night.”
She stays still as he drifts off to sleep and starts to snore.
When he is snoring, she gets up and goes to the bathroom.
His cum is dripping out of her.
She sits to pee.
As she pee’s her vulva and labia burn from the friction of the sex that her body was not ready for.
Her gut hurts from the anxiety and pain of going through this.
And tears stream down her cheeks as she softly sobbs, hoping no one will hear her, hoping that she can just make it through the night and next day.
The morning comes,
the sun rises.
her husband is rested and ready for his work day.
He grabs coffee and breakfast,
kisses the kids and her goodbye,
wishes them all a good day and tells her that he loves her.
She gets the kids ready and out the door for school,
darts to the shower where she washes herself diligently because she feels so filthy and disgusting. She weeps as the whole event and every event before it no matter from her husband or another man plays in her head like some morbid cruel reality show. She gets out of the shower, telling herself its time to put the game face on. She has a family that needs her and work to get done. No time for this pity party and after all he is her husband and he is a man and it just is the way it is. After all, he loves her. He is a good provider, a good father.
She has nothing to want for.
But she wants.
She wants for the pain to go away.
She wants to feel loved, not used.
She wants to not feel the anxiety around going to bed every night or waking up in the morning to the same event.
She wants for him to see that what he is doing is not okay.
That her world internally is upside down and she is slowly falling apart.
–>Her work life is stressful.
–>She cannot stay focused.
–>Her physical body is always sick and hurting.
–>Her hormones are out of balance.
–>She is exhausted physically and emotionally.
–>She is irritable.
–>She cries for what seems like no reason randomly.
–>She has no real interest in life.
–>She appears to be depressed.
–>She gained a bunch of weight.
–>She is drinking more and popping pills to sleep, to wake up, to keep her going and keep her mood somewhat stabilized.
Now I want you to ponder this scenario.
What comes up for you?
Is this acceptable?
Is it okay that her world is upside down and that she is living in this state?
Is it ok that her husband just continues on like this?
I mean after all,
–> He had a tough day at the office.
–> He was tired and most likely just did not realize what he was doing.
–> He had a few drinks so he was not fully aware and did not catch that she was not into it.
–>If she was into it she would have said something or pushed him away, right? So its her fault.
–>He needed the release to help him sleep, to help him destress.
–>Men need sex more than women.
–>Most women are never into it and are none orgasmic unless drunk so this is normal.
–> She just needs to get over it, its not that big of a deal, its just a little sex.
–> He does everything for her, there is no question of his love.
–>Its not like he physically broke her or tried to kill her. He did not hit her with a car.
–> His actions were not on purpose. His intent was not to harm, he thought she was okay with it.
So that makes his actions of flipping her life upside down acceptable?
But if he hits a pedestrian then he should have been more present,
he should have paid more attention and known where he was at and what the dangers were.
He hit a pedestrian and now they cannot function clearly, they are in pain, they are emotionally messed up, their home and work life are in shambles.
So for that yes, he needs to be punished for harming another human even though it was not on purpose.
Really?
I want you today to sit with these tales.
I want you to go deep inside yourself and ask yourself why one is okay and the other is not?
I want you to ask yourself why excuses and lack of understanding and presence should be easily forgiven or not even considered when we speak about raping a partner but it is different for other events?
And then I want you to realize that 74% of married/coupled women go through this weekly or monthly.
And if you are a man who is married or coupled with a woman I want you to examine your choices and get real.
Stop accepting excuses from self and others.
The damage caused from moments like this is not small and most of the time cannot be  repaired fully. This sort of event tears apart the foundations of love and trust.
And if you think differently then you are a fool.
It’s time to wake up men.
It’s time to stop being blind to your haphazard self centered ways and its time to actually love your woman.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers.”
Want to learn more on healing relationships in 2020 and how to uncomplicate your couplehood. Reach out to me for deet’s on my individual and couples coaching available globally.

How Prince Charming Looses His Charm.

How Prince Charming Looses His Charm.
 
Alright gents,
here is a little musing that you need to read if you have a lady love or you ever want to be in a relationship with a woman and keep it sizzeling.
 
Relationships on the front side can be so playful, adventurous, passionate, hot, caring, supportive and can make you feel like the other person “just get’s you.”
 
This is how we start.
In the beginning we are focused on discovery of each other,
we are focused on courting and sharing.
We are facinated by this person that has walked into our lives and we find ourselves being deeply vulnerable and open with them.
 
It’s beautiful.
And we feel like this is love.
 
In fact it is NRE – new relationship energy.
After a period of time however, this NRE starts to dwindle.
It dies down and we start to meet the real person,
which can be nice but it can also shed some light on all that we had not noticed and that we don’t align too as well.
 
On top of that, with the NRE dwindling down so does the sexual chemistry.
 
What was once a hot turned on relationship with ton’s of playful sex and intimacy,
can quickly turn the corner to boring and dull,
effortless friction based sexing.
 
Then unfortunatley,
both parties allow for this to happen,
making excuses along the way for why it is,
 
“Work has been exhuasting.”
“I am just tired all the time.”
“Kids and family.”
“We just can’t find the time to squeeze out anymore.”
 
And with the excuses years pass.
 
As time goes on,
and connective turned on sex becomes less and less of a thing, the bonding chemicals between the couple become depleted. If one partner is still getting orgasm while the other is not (typically this shows up as the man having an orgasm and the woman going months or even years without) then bittnerness and frustration start to form.
 
 
If we look at the typical relationship out there,
what ends up happening is that the sex becomes what is referred to as ABC Sex – Anniversary, Birthday and Christmas. And for some “lucky gents” they get it once or twice a month. Believing that this is just how relationship is to be, that this is couplehood, its normal, its natural.
 
And that the relationship is still doing good.
 
But what they may not understand is the subtle change in personality in their female partner.
 
The once bubbly, playful, connective, confident woman who could light up a room is now sour to life, irritable, moody, depressed, tired, sick and insecure.
 
Again excuses get made.
 
“Its money worries.”
“Its exhaustion over the kids.”
“Its her age.”
“Its this disease that she has.”
“Its her work stress.”
 
And with this sublte personality change your lady love goes from looking at you as her prince charming to viewing you as her keeper, her controller, her boss, her child, an irritation in her life.
 
She is quick to attack,
she is easy to offend,
she is critical and judgemental.
She is tired and frustrated.
She does not want to be touched.
She does not want to play and gets irritated at your play.
She no longer see’s the humor in things.
She burries herself in her work or in the home or a TV show or book.
 
And when she is sexing with you…
she either fakes it or goes limp without much response.
 
But you are happy and you are grateful.
You got yours my sweet prince.
The sex was amazing,
maybe not the best you have had,
but some sort of sex is better then no sex,
and she is such a doll for taking care of you.
 
But with each giving of herself,
she empties her very soul,
she dims her light,
to keep the peace.
As she awaits for her knight to awaken and see that she needs saving.
 
And with each thrust that you provide,
you fall futher and further off your horse.
Your charm is no longer seen,
for the pain of her emptiness is all she can feel.
 
So if you desire to not loose your charm with your lady love,
then take heed to this musing,
and realize that the true knight in shining armor will conconquer the nights of empty sexing by applying his focus to making sure that she cums first and cums a few times,
by not accepting her willingness to just give herself up for your pleasure alone, will not support the trauma of her emotions or body with a lack of depth in presence or orgasm.
 
A true prince charming understands that in order for him to succeed at winning and keeping his ladies heart that he MUST educate himself on the ways of the feminine.
And not deny them or ignore.
 
So if you claim to love your woman,
then take on the mission of filling her up with orgasm.
Deep.
Connective.
Multiple.
Rich.
Orgasm.
 
Will you take on the mission of your woman’s pleasure and joy?
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to explore more in depth ways to tap into healing your relationship, accessing a truly beautiful turned on bedroom life and deepen your intimacy? Message me for deets on my couples and indiviual coaching available globally.

Are You Hiding From The Truth In Your Relationship?

Retraction.
The holding of the breath.
The gripping of one’s fist.
Fidgetting.
 
What we expereince when something is shared that we don’t want to hear.
 
It can be hard to hear our partner speak about what they are feeling. How they are thinking. Or the challenges that they are having in the relationship.
 
It can be terrifying at times and make us question if the relationship will survive.
It can make us feel weak,
defeated, not enough, lost even.
 
When our partner throws a verbal dagger at us,
whether they know it or not,
it hurts.
 
And we find ourselves tossed between gratitude for finding out and a desire to not know any more.
To just make it go away.
 
The gratitude is our soul telling us that this is what is needed,
if our partner had not openned up and shared then that would mean that the relationship was already dead and it was just a matter of time till we discover its corpse.
 
This is what happens frequently however,
so often couples carry on and one partner is blind and deaf to the truth of what state the relationship is in, until it is too late and then they scratch their head in confussion of , “How is this possible, I thought everything was good?”
 
If we lean into the desire to make this pain go away and to not hear it anymore,
we may find ourselves retracting our love to our partner.
We may find ourselves just simply disregaurding what they are sharing and moving along as though it never happened.
Hoping that if we don’t talk about it or give it attention that it will change on its own.
 
This is detrimental to the releationship, however.
Making excuses up as to why you cannot focus on this right now, saying that this is the wrong tme to bring it up, saying that its all in our partners head or that thats not true, are all statements sharing that you do not value your partners feelings, thoughts or heart and that you are more caught up on the gut punch and how bad it was of them to make you feel this or to ask for something.
 
This is also detrimental to the realtionship.
 
The ONLY path to choose in this instance “IF” you desire to keep the relationship that you have and to make it strong and happy again is to PAUSE and listen without denial, without hiding, without excuses or fighting.
 
This is what is referred to as
“holding space.”
 
Coaches and therapist’s do this all the time for their clients.
The answers are often formed through the venting,
the sharing, the allowance of the feeling.
 
As a couple, if you desire to take some bad news shared and turn it into gold, then this is the sapce to start in.
 
If you close the door to the communication,
if you get angered or bitter about the sharing,
if you go into attack mode,
or allow your fear to control,
then you will find yourself pushing your partner further away.
 
Communication is the key to holding a relationship together.
Communication is the key to healing a relationship.
Commincation is the key to building trust, intimacy and love.
 
But communicating means listening without judgement or a need to be right or change what someone else is feeling or thinking.
 
Comminucation also means presenting a safe space where your partner feels permission and safety in speaking what they need and that their words will be heard and acknowledged.
 
Commincation means sharing your truth.
Sharing what you are feeling, fearing, troubled with, needing, not liking, liking, loving.
 
If you want a turned on, empowered relationship then you have to move away from surface level relating.
You must be willing to hear it all and hold that space for self and your partner.
 
You must be willing to offer what is going on with you and INQUIRE about what your partner is expereincing,
 
Most relationships today do not do this.
They believe that they do,
but they don’t.
 
Most relationships accept the answer of,
“I am good. I am fine. We are good.”
 
The simple truth is that relationship requires work, time, energy, truth, compassion,communicating, stepping back from a need to be right.
 
If you don’t take the time right now to share with your partner or to hold space for your partner to share and actually listen to what they are sharing, understanding that every share is valuable, then what you will discover is that your relationship will end.
 
If you claim that you love your partner.
Claim that you love your relationship.
Claim that it is the most important thing to you.
That it and them matter.
 
Then let it be witnessed through your actions of taking the time and making it priority.
 
Without shame.
Without guilt.
Without anger.
Without retraction.
Without accusations.
 
But with LOVE.
 
If you think you don’t have time to do this,
then I promise you that you will find a time that it will not longer beasking for your time.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for 1:1 couples and individual coaching availble world wide and/or group coaching focused on this and more.

Laughter, Crisis and How To Move Forward.

Laughter is like a windshield wiper,
it doesn’t stop the rain but it allows us to go on.
 
In times like these it is vitally important to the well-being of your mental, emotional and physical health as well as the world’s energy to find joy and laughter in each day.
 
I cannot stress enough that THIS is how we heal this crisis situation.
 
Through finding the blessing in the cloud that is raining on our earth today.
 
THIS is how we move forward.
And we only ever have today to live,
so why make it a day that is fearful?
Why not focus on beauty?
Why not focus on connection?
Why not focus on your dreams and goals?
 
You can have your best life TODAY.
 
But you must look for it.
You must allow it.
You must give yourself permission to feel it.
 
I don’t know about you,
but it has been a rough few weeks.
It has been trying,
and hard to not get caught up in all the fear.
It is so easy to loose sight of hope when the storm clouds just will not go away.
 
But sadly if we focus on the storm and the floods that it is creating with fear,
then we never will be able to see the opportunities that are being presented by them.
 
And I promise you this….
There is ALWAYS an opportunity in the storm.
 
In order to find hope again,
we must first recognize where we have turned our attention.
And then guide our thoughts toward those that serve our best outcome instead of feeding our fear.
 
By applying our attention like this we open up the flood gates to creative thinking,
which allows us OPPORTUNITY to find solutions.
 
Much like the rain on our windshiled,
we cannot see the road before us or the turns that we must make if we get caught on the rain drops.
 
The rain drops that encompass our path today,
are our thoughts.
 
And these thoughts dictate our feelings,
and send us down the rabbit holes that we choose.
 
To clear that path,
to clear the fear,
the limiting thoughts and the seperation from our truth,
we must break the chaos with joy.
 
The little moments.
If we each take this time of isolation as an opportunity to reconnect to who we each are,
what really matters to us,
and become more present in our lives and bodies,
in our relationships and ideas,
then we WILL come out of this storm,
our fires will not be put out but instead we will be purged of all that does not serve us any longer and moved forward on our path as individuals and as a world society.
 
The stillness and silence that so many are fearful of is a beautiful mediative space to go within,
the slower life is an opportunity to do the things that you have put off,
to do self-improvement work,
to change habits to ones that support the life that you want.
A time to catch up on things that you have not had an opportunity for,
and to set goals for the back half of the year and for the next five years.
 
The slower lifestyle,
the “forced” staying at home and being with family is an opportunity to build strong family relationships,
to actually get to know those that you are sharing your world with,
and to take a moment to share with them.
 
The isolation that we have in current is a great opportunity to see what matteres most and start to focus more on just that.
The seemingly simple little things are actually the BIG things.
 
Smiling at a stranger,
making eye contact and allowing yourself to feel your heart,
Playing with your child.
Holding hands with your lover.
Laughing.
Breathing in the cool air on a sunny day.
Family dinners.
and so much more.
 
Today I encourage you to focus on the life that you want.
To bring your thoughts into alignment with what you desire instead of what you fear.
 
And remember that TODAY is all you ever have,
so why not make it the day that you want.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grwon A*s Believers”
Now accepting applications for 1:1 coaching.
Learn how you can let go of that that causes you stress and fear and truly create the life that you’ve always wanted for.
Plus inquire about my group coaching for ways to reduce anxiety and stress with a 5 week mastermind on the vagus nerve.
 

Beauty in COVID-19.

There is great beauty in awareness.
There is gratitude if you have knowledge.
There is compassion if one let’s themself become educated.
There is hope if we pull together and allow TRUTH be shown without FEAR.
 
 
The question truly falls if we the people of planet earth are willing to do these things though.
 
The beautiful thing about the COVID-19 outbreak is that it is pulling us together as a world society.
 
It is showing our most brilliant aspects but it is also revealing our darkness.
 
And at the end of this plaugue we will be witness to our TRUTH.
 
Now what that truth is,
we currently do not know.
It will only come about when we reach the end of the swing of this pendulum,
and see if the masses focused on FEAR and destruction or if there were enough who chose to focus on love, gratitude, community, healing, courage, passion for life, and pulling back the curtains of the ego.
 
It is being said that we are at the end of days.
It is being said that it is all according to prophecy.
It is being said that it is a conspiracy of leaders to take over the world once and for all and enslave all of humanity.
It is being said that mother nature has had it with us.
It is being said….
and what over and over agian is stated is fear mongering.
The focus and attention to fear,
the belittlement of our greatness,
your greatness.
The threatening of your lives, your well-being, your everything.
And it is so focused upon by ALL,
that if we are not cautious then it will be for certain for many that this will become a tragic world event.
 
As I type this very musing to you,
our child abuse rates are increasing due to this panademic.
Our domestic violence rates are increasing and between these two alone,
our murder tolls are going up.
Suicide is on the rise.
And this is just the start.
 
Not to be a Debbie Downer right now,
but awareness and education show’s these facts.
 
In the face of this horrible panademic,
we are loosing countless thousands more because of our focus on FEAR.
 
It is education that we need.
Not fear.
Fear has never been a good solution.
It has never supported healing or growth.
Fear does not move you through a challenge.
It causes one to flee, hide or fight.
Which is what we are seeing.
 
Abuse increase.
Crime increase.
Alcohol and drug usage increase.
And we are not applying any attention to it.
 
Right now we have an opportunity.
As we sit in our states of isolation,
we have an opportunity to grow ourselves.
To ask the questions of our leaders, our selves and our communities that matter.
We have an opportunity to look at what has not been working,
and explore what could.
 
The answer is certainly not to crash the economy.
Causing our childrens children to suffer from this panademic 100 years from now.
The answer is to not shut down the world and our existance the way we know it, and instill fear into each and every soul, ‘creating a greater seperation.
No, seperration only results in all the above negativity.
The solution….
is AWARENESS.
EDUCATION.
FACTS.
Looking at ALL evidence, not just what media chooses to share.
Really looking at the numbers.
All of them, not just the death numbers.
Remember that statistics can be whatever you want them.
A person who wants to be aware, looks for ALL the facts.
This means,
age.
other issues/disease.
What the COVID-19 virus is really doing in our world – its natural swing,
remember that with all things you can only go so far up in numbers before there is a drastic decline.
Have you looked at this?
Whats the real percentage of people who even get COVID-19?
Have you gone to CDC.com or Worldometers.info and explored? (ALL the numbers)
 
If you claim to say that you are concerned for your health,
the worlds state,
the economy,
THEN DO YOUR PART and get educated outside of media.
 
We don’t have to agree.
We can have vastly different views,
thats awesome actually.
But if you are just blindly listening to media and what is being fed to you,
then know that you don’t have education or awareness on your side.
You are allowing yourself to be brainwashed.
 
And my point is two fold:
1) If you are going to be brainwashed at least CHOOSE what you are ingesting.
2) Fear NEVER fixed anything. And what we have on us right now is a FOCUS on FEAR with this crazy idea that it will be some part of the solution.
 
Its time we focus on something better then FEAR if we are to save our world and create a safe and prosperous planet for our youth.
 
And it is time to find beauty again in the lesson that we are being given from God and Mother Nature.
 
It is not a lesson to seperate and hide from the truth, to toss our hands up and let someone else deal with the solution and pray that they have our best at heart…
 
No.
 
It is a lesson to find gratitude for the life that you were given,
the planet that you were born on,
the world family of humans that ARE smart and creative,
who when they desire to truly come together and find a healthy path,
 
CAN.
 
I for one believe in humanity.
I believe in TRUTH.
I believe in shining a light in the darkest of days.
 
Are you willing to become aware enough to have an actual educated opinion?
 
Or will you continue to ignore and be a victim to this day?
 
Sending you all my love sweet reader,
with many prayers of gratitude for you and this world.
 
Let your light shine.
And as always,
 
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
“Coaching for Grwon A*s Believers”
 
Now accepting applications for 1:1 coaching.
 
Learn how you can let go of that that causes you stress and fear and truly create the life that you’ve always wanted for.
 
Plus inquire about my group coaching for ways to reduce anxiety and stress with a 5 week mastermind on the vagus nerve.

Remember Who You Are.

REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE.
 
Remember.
 
Now more than ever before it is vitally important to this world that you WAKE UP and remember who you are.
 
You are more than your physical body.
There is an inner part of you that has existed long before any of this world was created.
 
And it was from that inner perspective that YOU MADE the decision to become phsyical.
 
Once you became of phsyical existance,
not all of you came into you,
just a part of you,
just a small aspect of you came into existance.
While a much larger aspect of you,
remains in nonphysical.
Remains connected to Source fully.
 
This aspect of you that you are currently identifying with,
it is physically focused,
but it is important to understand that,
YOU…
 
You are not alive or dead.
You are much grander than either of these.
Much older than these and always connected with God.
This aspect of you that you are not fully identified with,
this nonphysical aspect that is not physically focused,
but communicates with you in every moment,
is with you in every moment of your expereince,
it is ALWAYS aware of you,
it is always making sure that you are very well attended too.
 
This aspect of you KNOWS.
It knows who you are.
It does not question your worthiness,
your value,
or if you are too much or not enough.
 
This aspect of you,
sees clearly the path before you,
because it is constantly calling back to you.
Guiding you from its vantage point,
drawing you closer to your desired life.
Gently nudging.
Revealing.
 
Breathing life direction into you.
Asking that you hear its soft voice over the chaotic
banter of the hustle around you in the physical.
 
This nonphysical aspect of you,
is YOU.
 
It is a direct link in consciousness to the God consciousness that resides in us all.
It is the end and the beginning.
It is the all knowing.
It is the alchemist of life,
and the conjurer of all things,
desired.
 
It is YOU.
 
And it is time for you to remember your power.
To call on your highest and grandest aspect,
the aspect that is too great to fit into this physical focused
version of you.
 
It is time for you to realize that,
 
YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL.
 
You were born to have it all.
You were not born to play small.
You not born to suffer.
You were not born to live a life of just paying bills and saying no to THRIVING.
 
F-ck NO!
 
You my beautiful soul,
were born for greatness.
 
And it is time,
RIGHT NOW….
 
For you to fully embody this aspect of YOU.
and Remember that you are a powerful manifestor,
and your have all the skills,
all the worthiness,
all the permission already granted to creat and live the life of your dreams.
 
But you have to WAKE UP.
 
You have to OWN WHO YOU ARE.
You must stop believing this illusion around you.
You must come back to your core,
feel the power that stirs through your veins.
 
AND KNOW.
 
This knowing is a great certainty.
It is an acceptance of your divinity as a child of God.
 
And it is time to OWN THAT.
 
Are You Ready to Say YES to your birth right?
 
The world is depending on you to do so now.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Now accepting applications for 1:1 coaching.
Learn how you can let go of that that causes you stress and fear and truly create the life that youhave always wanted for.
Plus inquire about my group coaching for way to reduce anxiety and stress with a 5 week mastermind on the vagus nerve.
 
Photo Credit to Photographyinwonderland.

What Your Fear Is Telling You Right Now.

You are making it more complicated then it is.
 
You are not thinking valid thoughts right now.
 
It is challenging to think valid thoughts isn’t it.
But you MUST realize that you are thinking thoughts that are causing you to be out of alignment with God.
 
Out of alignment with your TRUTH.
Out of alignment with FAITH.
And with your SOUL.
 
You have stepped into a full embodiment of fear.
And in so doing this,
you have caused a vast seperation between you and God.
 
And it matters.
It matters to this moment.
It matters to this day.
This week and this month,
it matters to the world and the out comes of all that are plauguing us right now as a world society.
 
I get that you are looking out there into the world,
that so many people on this planet are in the same alignment,
or lack there of,
as you right now.
I get that media is focusing you on all the scary facts of our current situations.
I understand that you know people,
you see with your very own eyes,
and hear with your ears,
the horrors of the darkness that is covering up our world.
I know that is so easy to fall prey to this darkness and not be able to focus on the light.
Your light.
 
And you most certainly can choose to heed the attention and ideas of all the fear mongers who will take you down all the fear based trails in every subject known to human kind.
 
But what you must keep in mind,
if you truly desire to be a custodian of this earth,
and one who walks in faith,
if you truly want to be that soul,
that person who can hold strong in the waves of life in current,
if you want to be the person that you were born to be,
then you have to line up your frequency,
your thoughts and feelings with those of God/Source.
 
And when you feel fear,
it simply means that you are not lined up to the Alpha,
the Omega,
to God energy and knowing.
It means that you are not walking in faith.
That you have stepped away from your truth,
and you are standing in resistence to all that you know at your core.
 
When you think the thoughts that you have been thinking recently, and perhaps for some time now,
when you think about how lost you are,
how scared or worried that you feel,
when you get trapped in the ideas of the media and the world around you,
Realize,
you think these fear based thoughts and you keep yourself away from God/Source.
 
So should you keep thinking these fear based thoughts?
 
I get it.
I truly do.
Sometimes you cannot, not think these thoughts.
They have gathered too much momentum and they are sloshing up against the rocks and the more you try to not focus on them,
the more strength they seem to have.
 
I understand.
 
But there is a secret,
a secret to ease this momentum that fear has on you.
Putting you back into a position of power.
 
When you go to bed tonight,
that momentum is going to subside for just a bit,
and when you wake up in the morning,
you’ve got a choice about wheather you pick it up and continue on with those fear and worry based thoughts, allowing them to fully embody you yet another day,
or wheather you let it disipate a bit more.
 
When you are feeling that concern,
that fear and worry, what does it tell you about what the spark of God, your soul knows about you?
 
If fear is present when you are thinking in opposition to God,
because fear does not come from God,
what must God be thinking at the same time that you are standing in fear?
 
Its like you are walking along a trail that over looks a beautiful canyon. You could fall if you get too close to the edge and seriously hurt yourself if you are not familiar with the path or do not yet have the understanding of a well traveled hiker.
This is where you are at,
you do not yet understand what you do not understand,
you are unpracticed.
You are not stable,
your feet are wobbly as is your energy and ability to focus on the path that is in front of you.
You have not yet practiced being steady.
And what you need do in this instance is to get off of this path, away from that edge.
Move away from this edge because if you keep insisting to walk here,
it will not go well for you.
 
And now you may be thinking,
“Well then my fear is correct. There is much to fear here where I am. “
 
What your fear is revealing to you,
is that you are in an unreliable place.
 
Look….
as you stand here in this fear,
in this sketchy place where you could fall,
what is coming up in you?
Knowing you could fall.
 
It scares you to death, correct.
The more you think about standing there,
the more fear rises inside you.
And what you must do,
is not stand there any longer.
 
Go to someplace that is not as scary.
 
And the same applies to these thoughts that you are thinking that are giving you fear and worry.
 
You must CHOOSE to go someplace with your thoughts that do not FEEL so scary.
 
But you must listen to your SOUL,
thats what it is trying to tell you with the fear.
You are not in alignment with these thoughts,
so GO SOMEPLACE THAT FEELS GOOD.
 
In Your Thoughts.
In Your Emotions.
In Your Actions.
 
Do you get that you are an extention of your soul,
of the God force energy that moves through you?
 
That God force energy known as your soul that moves through you, is WITH YOU ALL THE TIME.
 
You are never abandoned.
NEVER ALONE.
 
And that God force that is with you all the time,
has a perspective, a perspective that is vastly different then what you are having when you are in fear and worry.
It is a perspective of well-being,
it knows your value and worthiness and it knows the worthiness of all who you engage with as well.
 
When you think thoughts that are divergent from this inner knowing, this God force that moves through you,
you cause a pinching off of connection,
and so that is what you feel…
Seperation.
 
And that is what the fear is that you feel.
Fear tells you that you are not in the receptive mode.
That you have moved out of flow.
Out of your ability to manifest that, that you desire.
 
So step away from the edge beautiful.
Step away from those thoughts.
Give yourself time to reset your path.
And CHOOSE to start fresh come tomorrow.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers
 
Now accepting applications for 1:1 coaching.
Learn how you can let go of that that causes you stress and fear and truly create the life that youhave always wanted for.
Plus inquire about my group coaching for way to reduce anxiety and stress with a 5 week mastermind on the vagus nerve.

The Reason You Are Feeling Lost In Life & Love.

You wouldn’t do what I did.

Or would you?

 

Some would believe that they would do it.

Some would state with certainty even that they would.

Others would say well, I would do some of that,

but is all of it really necessary?

And others would simply drop their head and say, ” I wish I had the courage.”

 

And at the end of the day,

perhaps 1% would actually do what I have done.

 

And what is this that I am even speaking of?

Self-realization.

 

This is spoken of in many self-growth paths.

Spiritual teachers of all time have told of the importance of becoming self- actualized.

 

But what does it mean?

Why is it so important?

And how do we go about achieving it?

 

Self-actualization refers to the achievement of one’s potential while self-realization refers to the achievement of one’s personality.

 

We must become self-realized to become actualized.

To truly understand ourselves, we must gain a grander scope of our personality. Something that many people today avoid, change to fit in with those around them and even fully abandon so that  they can feel accepted. Creating a void within themselves and a distancing from their truth.

 

We must get right with our personality.

Our true personality that is.

Not the mask we wear.

 

And once we have done that then we can move forward and work on self-actualized.

 

Now we can have what would appear to be a successful life from the outside world. We can achieve fortune, family, health and experience.  But if it is not achieved from a state of our truth then we will forever feel lost and empty.

 

Never truly happy.

We will remain in the void of who we were born to be and the potential of our SOUL.

 

So how do we become self-realized?

In short we have to step out of our comfort of the masks that we wear.

 

If we are to discover who we truly are we have to STOP being dependent on others for our safety, our happiness, our feeling of connectedness, worthiness, purpose, etc.

 

We have to start to learn ourselves.

 

And here is where I confidently state,

You wouldn’t do what I did.

 

I recall the time frame that I moved into my rebirth of self.

It was a time that my soul decided that I needed to realize who I truly was outside of everything that I had become for the world around me.

 

And with this I went on a mission to great measures to learn myself.

 

I knew that if I kept acting, speaking, thinking and doing the way that I had been for this time,

that my life results would never change.

I would remain lost in who I was.

I would continue to feel empty.

I would continue to search.

 

So I went on a mission of self-discovery.

I dove deep into my shadow lands.

I faced anything that scared the crap out of me.

I genuinely looked at my relationships,

all of them.

I asked if they truly made me happy or if I felt like I was just serving the other people so that I did not get abandoned?

 

I asked if I was living the life that I truly wanted?

Knowing  that I was not.

My family life was not in harmony.

My health was having challenges.

My sex sucked.

My intimate relationship was not even a friendship any longer.

My finances were lacking.

 

I was struggling in every department.

And ignoring it and thinking that just putting my head down and pushing through was not working any longer.

Instead I was suffocating.

 

I had to make a change.

I had to know my truth.

And so I pushed my boundaries.

I stepped off the curb of life that I had myself on and I walked with blind faith into the uncharted territory of ME.

 

In this moment what I discovered was the very fact that I had been guilty of self-abandonment for my entire adult life.

 

I had fully stepped away from me.

And this was the only step I needed to take to become in alignment to my true personality.

Speak from a place of my authentic YES/NO.

 

This was the empowerment I was needing.

This was the learning of my true likes/dislikes.

This was where I found my courage.

It was where I realized my own style of genius.

It was the land of ME.

Without excuse.

 

And guess what formed from this space?

Self- actualization.

 

Through no longer abandoning myself for others wishes,

for no longer ignoring my truth,

for no longer leaning on others to tell or prove to me that I was lovable, worthy, beautiful, etc. I also tapped into my SOUL.

I danced with divine inspiration,

and the more I allowed myself to just be me,

feel me and do me,

the moree inspired thought came,

and the more inspired action happened,

and the more I felt my full potential being achieved.

 

Today, I know when I get into phases of my life where I am feeling bored, lost or indifferent that all I am being guided to become aware of is that I have leaned out of this state of self-actualization and that in order to step back into it,

I need just look at where I am looking for the outside world to feed me instead of turning inward and KNOWING MYSELF in the now.

 

Because we are ever changing.

We are evolving,

and we must not abandon this new version of who we are in this moment just because it presents a different desire, a different view or feeling about life, love, or anything.

 

By receiving our new version of self,

we put worth on it.

Thus realizing our worthiness for the life that we have and the life that we are creating.

 

Where have you abandoned yourself?

If you are feeling lost in life, in love or any subject of life, it is time to ask this of yourself and to realize that you soul is requesting you to step out of the comforts of what is no longer serving you and embrace the magic of the unknown.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Reach out to me for 1:1 or group coaching to move into the life that you want and learn how you can once and all be YES to you.

A Letter To My Mr. Forever.

A Letter To My Mr. Forever:
 
I already know who you are,
you have come to me in a dream long ago.
I have sampled our life together,
through relationships of the past.
 
I have felt your soft touch upon my skin,
the tickle of your finger tips as they profess their love,
I have felt your breath against my flesh,
breathing in the moments together.
 
I have felt your force,
your strength and determination,
your passion and hunger.
As you devour me with life itself.
 
I have watched you my love,
your heart expanding,
your kindness, compassion and fiercness.
I have laughed and danced with you.
Loving each twirl that you lead.
 
I have embraced the moments of powerful emotion,
sitting in your lap,
our hearts beating as one,
eye’s gazing into forever,
tears steaming from our blended joy.
 
I have felt you penetrate me,
holding me deep commanding my surrender to your presence.
I have witnessed the magic,
and felt it move through my veins in our loving of our flesh,
the loving that trandscends,
both time and space.
 
I have heard you sing to me,
eternal love songs,
smiling with your ocean eye’s,
and letting me know that I am your queen.
 
I have shuddered from your touch,
and pushed myself past boundaries I never knew existed.
I have explored raptures that only few will ever know.
 
I have witnessed the depth of your soul,
and felt the elation of my own,
united with yours.
Becoming one.
 
I have been blessed to feel the presence of heaven and of God,
in our union.
The scent of fresh roses wafting about the room,
as if manifest from thin air.
I have felt the magnitude of your love.
 
I see the man that you are,
and because I see you so clearly,
and feel you so deep,
I know the woman that you demand me to become.
 
And I am not yet your woman,
I am not yet the one for you.
I hold you close and yet at arms length,
because I know.
I know who I must become,
not for you my love,
but for myself.
 
You demand of me to become ALL of me.
You call me from the future,
reminding me of the woman that I truly am.
You lead me now,
in the moments that my heart awakens,
that my body explores,
you guide me with your patience,
and smile from afar.
 
I see you watching me.
Yours eye’s following my moves.
I see your pleasure in your witnessing of my birth,
waiting.
Waiting for me to relaize.
 
And this my love,
shows the man that you are.
 
You will never cave or be something that you are not.
You will never step out of your superiour masculine energy to beg me, or taunt me, or lead me to believe it is our time yet,
when it is not.
You get the value of trust and what it takes to have it truly with another.
You are not fearful of your desires,
you embrace them as you will one day embrace me.
You penetrate this world with purpose, passion, play and confidence,
and you wait to take my heart, body and soul in the same measure.
 
I can feel you here and now.
Your presence grows closer by the day,
and I foretaste of your love in my current.
I am in gratitude for the man that awaits me,
the man that holds me,
the man that guides from time and space.
 
I am coming.
 
———————————————————————————–
 
This musing goes out to all the ladies in waiting,
whether you be single or coupled in current,
if you are lacking or looking,
if you cannot find “the one” and wonder,
where is that man of my dreams?
If you are with a love, but it s not true,
you feel lost still to your core,
and you have tasted of the love that you desire,
this musing is for you.
 
Love my beautiful,
is for the expanding not the shutting down.
Love is for the healing and the recognizing,
not the wounding and the masking,
Love elevates not deflates.
Love holds your truth,
and smiles as you discover it.
 
Love does not fear loosing,
because it knows it has everything you need.
Love watches your dance,
embraces your play and your fear,
Love knows who you are,
and guides you just to that.
 
Love does not control.
Love does not run.
Love does not waiver.
 
And this my beautiful,
is who is calling you from the future.
This is your Mr. Forever.
 
But first my dear,
you must recognize,
the Queen that YOU ARE.
 
To unit with this sort of love,
the demand is for you to receive YOURSELF,
in all your emotion,
all your joy,
all your fear,
all your beauty,
seen and unseen.
You MUST be ready my beautiful,
to become the match for this man.
 
Go.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Ladies in the house want to call in your Mr. Forever, reach out to me for guidance today to become the the woman that matches the man of forever.

I Destroyed My Relationship by Being Selfless.

I looked at him and said,
” I am super selfish!”
 
Following it up with,
“If you were around me more, you would see how rude I can be. How abrupt, focused and determined to do what I feel is best for self. And you most likely would not like it much and may not like me as much as well.”
 
He shook his head in disagreement,
he chuckled and said, ” I know how rude you can be, and how stubborn you are. I have witnessed it.”
 
True, anyone who has been around me for any amount of time has witnessed my stubborness, has tasted my rudness and abruptness. And they may even think that I was just being clueless or unpresent in some of the “selfish acts” that they have expereinced with me.
 
In truth,
I was far from clueless of what I was doing.
I was making a statement of action with the clarity and love for self that was needed.
 
I was deliberatly putting my feelings first.
I was deliberatly stating my truth,
even at the cost of potentially not giving someone else what they wanted.
 
And this most certainly may not always feel good to the one who is being denied.
 
But in truth,
the selfish act of stating your authentic yes or no is one of the most loving things we can offer ourselves and another. We are caring far more for the relationship and for the outcome (long term) then to just bow down and “give” what the other wants when it is out of alignment with who we are.
 
Let me tell you an intimate tale….
 
Many years ago I was married. I was with a man who claimed he loved me and in his own way did and still does and I him. However, in our relationship we were both unhappy, empty and lost and we did not understand this or what was causing it.
Our sex was average at best.
He wanted it.
I did not.
But I gave it to him a few times a month to “keep him happy” as we were married and that is what a “good wife” is to do.
 
So the sex was based on my duty to care for my man’s physical needs and make him feel good,
make him feel like I desired him,
desired the sex,
that he was being the man.
So I faked it.
I gasped and moaned,
I drank a few glasses of wine to loosen up and “get in the mood.”
 
And I hated him and me for it.
Every time I said yes to please him and I was actually a no,
I was raping myself.
I was detroying our relationship,
and the love that we had for each other.
In my efforts to be selfless and do what I thought was best and good for us and for him,
I tore myself apart.
And the more I died inside,
the more depressed, exhausted and empty I felt.
And the more anxious, stressed, and angry I became.
 
So I drank more wine.
Masking my feelings,
masking my needs and trying ever harder to get in the mood.
What mood was I getting into in truth.
The mood of victim.
The mood of selfless.
The mood of “I know, let’s rape ourselves! Let’s tell a lie about our truth. And say YES when we mean NO.”
 
Over and over again for years this plauged our relationship and my whole being.
 
I would say yes to whatever he wanted.
Blow jobs, sure even though I hated his scent and taste and cried through them.
Anal sex, sure… even though it felt like I was being torn apart in the act and hurt for a week to follow, even bleeding from my ass and fearful of the damage.
I remember him telling me that when I wrapped my legs around him that it made it virtually impossible for him to hold back his climax because it was such a feeling of me pulling him in and wanting him,
funny, this was the last thing I was wanting or feeling.
But I leaned on this information to get him off quicker so that my pain would be over sooner.
 
I was such a good wife.
Taking care of his physical needs like that.
Taking responsibility of his emotions and boosting his ego like that.
Yes, he would have been destroyed if I had spoken my truth of not wanting it.
 
He would have been destroyed to know that I had not had an orgasm for years.
 
And that would be down right selfish of me and wrong,
hurtful even to tell my truth like this.
 
Right?
 
Well, like I said…
A long time ago I “WAS” (past tense) married.
 
I destroyed our marriage with my selflessness.
As do so many people.
 
To be selfish is to love the self enough to speak our truth.
To be selfish is to be in alignment with the self,
and to know that when we are in alignment to our core,
we are also in alignment to what is ultimatly needed for all involved.
 
Selflessness makes us a marter.
It destroys who we are because we loose ourselves.
We end up starving ourselves and have nothing to offer this world.
 
Now, I can hear some out ther stating,
“Yeah thats great Kendal, but what do you do if your truth and another person’s truth are opposite?”
 
This is where you have to sit down and have some truth talks.
You have to lean into these difficult conversations and realize that sometimes we are at an impass. Sometimes, we have to ask ourselves the difficult questions of,
 
👉“Is this thing I am calling my truth TRUE?”
 
👉“Is there some other way that I can get my needs met?”
 
👉“Can we agree to disagree and still be friends/lovers/etc?”
 
👉“How important is it to me to get this other person to do what I want? And what do I feel I will benefit from it or that we will benefit from it?”
 
Realize this…
At the end of the day,
you WILL do one of three things…
 
1. Get your way at the cost of anothers well-being and happiness, or
2.Let someone else have their way with you and you in turn hold bitterness, resentment, trauma and hatred toward them and yourself.
3. Get your truth spoken and hear anothers truth, unconditionally without expectation.
 
One of these three is love based.
The other two are ego, control, fear and conditional based.
 
What do you choose?
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Looking for how you can create or manifest an authentic relationship based on unconditional love instead of need and fear? Reach out to me for 1:1 and group coaching and workshops today. I work with people all over the world.