Exhaustion is a CHOICE.

YOU WORK FOR YOURSELF SO YOU HAVE ALL THE TIME THAT YOU NEED.
 
 
And other statements that show that you have no comprehension of life or the power of manifesting.
 
My entire life I have dealt with people telling me something.
Assuming something.
And thinking that they have it worse or better than I do.
 
The reality is that no matter where you are at in life,
there will ALWAYS be someone in worse shoes,
and someone in better shoes,
than yours.
 
You cannot go through life concerned about other people’s shoes.
 
Or choices.
Or time.
 
But to look at another person’s situation and use it to show WHY YOU CANNOT do what you need is crazy AF!
 
Yet this is a common occurrence.
 
Every week I work with people who come and sit down with me for coaching,
they tell me their tough stories on how they got to where they are at,
they paint pictures of suffering, fear and anxiety.
They paint pictures of how hard life is.
And how much they hope for.
They tell me their grand faith and love they have,
about their desires and dreams.
They affirm a strong commitment.
 
And then….
 
They say,
“Yeah, but how long is this going to take?”
 
“You just don’t understand, I have kids and a corporate job. I don’t have the time or the energy. I am exhausted.”
 
And they say this as though they should get some medal for living an exhausting life.
 
They believe that this is just how success is.
How life is.
and what is to be expected.
They also assume that the anxiety, depression, frustration and constriction…
 
the sacrificing of their dreams and selves is what a smart, responsible person should do.
 
NOTHING could be farther from the truth though.
 
This way of thinking and feeling holds you in a scarcity mindset and thus keeps you living a life of poverty. You may have money, but if you are exhausted and empty you are actually POOR AF.
 
As Brene Brown would say,
“It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.”
 
And exhaustion leads you to anxiety.
It leads you to depression and hopelessness.
 
Exhaustion creates a massive void in who you are.
 
It is no status symbol,
it is a premature death sentence,
and you don’t have to be 6 feet under to be dead baby.
 
What you get is an UNLIVED LIFE.
 
Just think about that one for a second if you have the mental focus to do such after this long ass day.
 
Are you among the norm out there of this world?
 
Like most people who have two lives…
 
The one you are living and the one you keep denying?
 
The Unlived Life.
 
The reality is babe…
 
YOU GET TO CHOOSE.
 
The reason I have the energy and vitality for the life that I am creating is simply because I have chosen to LIVE not just get by and exist.
 
I have had years,
even a decade or two that I chose otherwise and that shiz almost killed me.
 
My SOUL was like WTF! We are outta here if you keep this shiz up girl.
 
And I had to CHOOSE LIFE.
Or say goodbye.
 
Sure I work for myself,
I make my own schedule,
I decide my value in my fee’s.
I have no thumb on me.
I have freedom and flexibility.
TIME.
 
And with all of that comes responsibility.
Dedication.
Commitment.
Desire.
 
I choose to focus on what I want to create and therefore it gets created.
 
A long time ago I said that I wanted to be a full time mommy.
That I did not want my children to have to go to daycare and be raised by someone else.
 
I also said that I wanted to provide home cooked meals for my children 80-90% of the time.
 
I also said that I valued dating my children, all 7 of them.
Spending 1:1 time with them.
I also said that I wanted to take them on experiences,
to adventure together, to laugh, read, play…
 
And that I wanted this frequently.
 
Now on the other side of things I said that I wanted to make a multi-six figure income.
That I wanted to build an empire.
I wanted to teach masses of people.
I wanted to work with the 1%.
 
I said that I wanted to look good and feel great as I age.
I said that I wanted to be healthy.
That I wanted to travel – A LOT.
 
I said that I wanted all of it and desired for more.
Knowing that my desires would grow as I created more and more of the life that I wanted.
 
I share this with you to make the point that I get busy.
Busy life.
Ton’s happening.
Chaos.
Drama.
It’s all part of the picture.
And being center hub for a bunch of people can be EXHAUSTING…
 
LOL.
 
The thing is that any of us can have a truly amazing, fulling life if we DECIDE to actually commit to LIVING.
 
This means to put the focus not on always working,
not making all those bills and creditors,
your boss or employee’s,
your clients,
the football game or candy crush,
more important than your Mother-effing Life!
 
Because that is just being average and ordinary.
And you are NOT THAT LUV!
 
You are EXTRAORDINARY.
 
So Own It!
 
And Live accordingly.
 
Are you living in alignment to WHO YOU REALLY ARE?
Or are you settling for something less than…
 
Be Real…
 
And Remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for deet’s on my 1:1 global coaching opportunities today. Limited private coaching opportunities available.
 
 
 

We Are Meant To Live In The Magnitude of Awe-ness…

Travel, its something I love.
And if you follow me then you already know this.
But you may not know why I adore travel so much.
 
I love travel because of the growth it gives me.
Travel expands my thinking,
my understanding of self,
of others,
of life.
 
Travel opens me up to knew ways of viewing the world.
My world and the world around me.
 
Travel is healing to the soul.
 
Last night we were laying out under the stars on the beach here in Riviera Maya,
little crabs crawling across the sand,
the waters sloshing up against the shore line,
and a sky so full of stars.
We laid there in silence for some time,
just witnessing the magistracy of the sky.
So vast.
So impressive.
Every now and then a shooting star would stream across,
and my inner child would make her wish.
 
There we lay with the breeze of the warm summer night against our bodies.
 
So small against the immense sky above,
and yet I felt powerful.
There I laid feeling the magnitude of the creator moving through me in that moment.
 
And I was in Awe.
 
That is why I love to travel.
 
This morning we were up and back to the beach,
snorkeling gear in hand and off to the small coves that lined the shore.
 
Out into the turquoise waters we swam,
following colorful fish of all sizes,
and then upon the reef line we floated,
just watching the wonders below.
Again, the magnitude of this space.
A whole world around us.
Immense, powerful and full of life.
As the waves crashed upon my back every so often,
as I swam across the reef,
watching the sea creatures,
the fish flock and flurry,
I felt so small,
so unimportant.
 
And yet I was deeply aware of the power I was holding inside myself.
I could again feel the magnitude of all of life,
of the creator move through me.
Wash around me,
and make itself known.
 
And I was in Awe.
 
That is why I love to travel.
 
No matter where I have traveled in our beautiful world,
I found a people to love.
I have found beauty in their smile’s,
in the meeting of another’s eye.
I have found compassion in the witnessing of life somewhere foreign.
I have found peace and joy in bonds that make us all human.
I have seen so many a beautiful people,
embrace me as I travel,
and I am in gratitude for them and for these experiences.
 
And I feel small,
unimportant,
I feel like how could I ever make any ripple worth anything.
And then the words of a stranger come upon me,
and I smile.
I feel the message of God.
The message that we are all human.
We are all family.
And just my witnessing and embracing of this,
is a ripple.
The connection experienced with this people,
with just this one soul,
it changes us.
It expands us.
And we grow.
 
I feel the love of the creator move through me in moments like this.
I feel the compassion,
the adoration and gratitude.
I feel the bonds of being human.
And I smile.
 
I am in Awe.
 
This is why I love travel.
 
In the arms of my lover I smile,
laughing and enjoying the moments.
Allowing the energy of life to move about us.
Yes, here too is a reason to love travel.
For all the magnitude of this world,
of the skies and seas,
for all the diversity of its people,
here too,
just between him and I is a world to be discovered.
And in moments such as these,
as we travel,
we reveal knew aspects of ourselves.
We drop our guards just a bit,
we allow a softening of our hearts,
and opening of the connection.
And here with no one else to interfere,
we explore.
 
We travel perhaps not to some strange land,
but still we explore.
The land that resides within each of us.
The land here that is revealed.
 
Laughter.
Connection.
Conversation.
Touching.
and
Experiencing this world.
 
And as our eye’s meet,
as a smile crosses each of our lips,
we too are forever changed because of this moment.
Because of this travel.
Expanded.
 
And I am in Awe.
 
So many people say no to travel.
They refuse to venture out into the world,
they keep themselves closed to the adventure known as life.
They keep them shut away from the people of this earth,
out of fear they remain hidden,
and in their fear of the adventure,
of the people,
they also show the fear in their hearts.
They choose to remain closed.
They choose to remain small.
Never feeling the true magnitude of this life.
The true bounty of this earth or the vastness of God.
 
This life was meant for the taking.
The taking of the adventure.
the communion of the people.
This life was meant for the Awe.
 
And here,
here is where you will discover just how powerful you really are,
but first you must want for it.
First you must crave the Awe.
The power.
It is there.
In your heart,
in your soul,
in the people of this earth.
 
Dare to travel and you will see.
You will meet the creator in every step of your journey.
And you will be in Awe.
 
As yourself,
“If not now, when?”
 
Life is too short to stall.
 
As Always,
“Stop Existing & Start Living”
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers
 
Expand your life,
expand your thinking.
Expand your heart.
 
As you open you grow.
And here is where you meet your power,
and your joy.
 
Take my hand and let’s go.
Explore 1:1 Coaching with me from anywhere in the world.
Message me for deet’s on how to level up your life adventure TODAY.

Carry Me Away

I am the woman who wants it all.
I want the Hollywood romance.
I want the worship.
I want the respect.
I want the abundance.
I want to be whisked away on along weekend to a surprise destination.
I want to be the center of someone’s world.
I want to feel the love streaming from his eye’s as much as his heart.
I want to be penetrated to my core in our love making.
I am a woman who wants it all.
 
I want to be carried away.
 
Yes, I want to be carried away like two lovers in a hot air balloon. Floating gracefully over the fields and houses below. Drifting off into the sunset, captured in an embrace that lives a lifetime.
 
I want it all.
 
As crazy as this idea sounds,
As scarce as it is in our world,
and as a coach who has spent years working with people who want the same, but never achieve it, never even taste of its sweetness,
I KNOW that it is possible.
 
I want it all.
I have tasted it before.
I crave its essence again in my life.
I KNOW it is possible.
 
The delicate moments of this hollywood romance may not be here forever, may only come here and there, but when they are here, I want to be embodied by them fully.
 
I want to open to them.
I want to be penetrated by them.
 
This morning as I sit out back writing in my journal,
casting my magical lyrics into the heavens, I heard the pressure of air being forced into a hot air balloon. There was a stillness in the energy, it was a peacefulness between the sound of the air pumps. Tapping into the rhythm of my heart and soul, I could feel the amazement, the love, the joy, the awe of being carried away in the balloon.
 
I stood and looked above the roof of my home, here a beautiful hot air balloon glided over my rooftop.
 
The ease.
The peace.
The flow of it.
 
They were being carried away.
The romance of the moment, even though it was not mine first hand dripped down on me as they drifted through the sky above.
 
Memories of my first hot air balloon ride fluttered up in me, bringing with it positive vibes of a moment in my past that brought a smile to my face and a longing in my soul.
 
I want it all.
I want to be carried away.
I want that flow.
I want that Hollywood romance.
 
I stood there in awe,
I stood there in bliss of a memory,
I stood there as my heart felt its joy,
I stood there as my heart felt it’s pain.
 
Breathing it in, I felt myself LONGING.
The wistful feeling of wanting.
 
A time that had past.
 
Was it lost forever?
Was the romance I craved gone forever?
 
I want it all.
Perhaps I am a crazy school girl,
innocent in her idea’s of love and life.
Believing that I can have it all and not settling for less than my soul’s desire.
 
Perhaps.
 
Perhaps not though.
 
Maybe this balloon drifting gracefully over my rooftop this morning was an awareness or a call to action of my soul. Perhaps it was something more than just me being a spectator to someone’s else’s joy.
 
Perhaps it was God saying, “Claim your life girl!”
 
What do you want?
What do you desire?
Find your flow and it is yours.
 
Ask and the door will open.
 
All that we desire, desires us as well.
I want it all.
I want to be carried away.
By my dreams.
By my lover.
By the romance.
By life.
 
I want to open to the rapture that this life is to be.
Romance is more than a Hollywood movie. Romance is about opening up and being penetrated by life in ALL WAYS.
 
We only do this through our allowing.
Allowing ourselves to feel the romance.
Feel the joy.
Feel the pain.
Feel the connection.
Feel the disconnect.
Feel the bliss.
 
Allowance is CLAIMING.
Allow yourself to DESIRE.
Allow yourself to be the center of your universe.
Ask for your souls f-cking desires.
 
Allow yourself to be carried away by your soul.
God wants you to fly.
God wants to penetrate your life.
God wants you to impregnate the universe with your desires.
God wants you to CLAIM your life as a righteous child of his.
 
This means to NOT step away from yourself.
This means to STOP hiding from your worthiness.
This means to ACCEPT your greatness.
 
You want to have it all?
You want the romance?
You want the orgasm?
You want the abundance?
 
Then effing STOP the insanity of running away from it and simply JUST CLAIM IT.
 
It is there for you.
Just like it is there for me.
 
I am CLAIMING my life.
Will you Claim Yours as well?
 

Will you?

Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

I Do Me Daily.

How do you do it, I get asked all the time.
 
People are always inquiring how can I juggle or balance being a mom of 7, running my own business, taking care of my dementia mom, doing the community events that I do, creating workshops/courses, writing and vlogging daily and still have time for anything else?
 
Like:
Dating
Sex
Travel
Play
Relaxation
TLC Moments
 
The truth is I have ton’s of time for all of it.
I get to have all of this because I have decided to claim my life.
Claim my bliss.
My Joy.
My ORGASM.
 

I CHOOSE.

I get to have all of this and people pay me with a smile on their face and excitement in their hearts because I show them how I do this daily.
 
I feed their souls.
By feeding my soul.
 
Yes. That is all I do to have all of this and keep on having it BIGGER and more of it.
I just simply do me.
 
I make no excuses as to who I am and what my desires are.
I make no excuses as my VERY human moments where f-ck up.
I allow myself to be seen, Just as is, all the f-cking time.
 
So how do I do it all?
How do I have the time, the finances, the energy?
 
How do I call it in?
 
#1 – Gratitude is the foundation of ALL that I do.
I am always offering up a prayer of gratitude to God. Even when shit seem’s to be hitting the fan, I am thanking God for it. I know that it only appears as shit because of my perspective and if I were able to see my life through heavens eye’s that it would appear much different and these challenges that our life presents to us are here with purpose. So I thank God even for the pain, the struggle, the heartache. By doing this I experience fewer down points and I consciously keep myself focused on the light at the end of any tunnel.
 
Gratitude creates a certainty that God always has your back.
 
#2 – Worthiness is KEY to success.
I am not any different than you when it comes to worthiness issues. I struggle in every moment around my worthiness. My up bringing showed me that I was most likely not worthy, society reinforced it. My actions in my youth right up to my actions of yesterday even support my lack of worthiness consistently. The ONLY difference is that I recognize all of that as ego bullshit. I have done my inner work and I continue to do my inner work DAILY to overcome and show myself that I am WORTHY. I claim my worthiness just like I claim my life. DAILY.
 
#3 – I Get Turned On.
I allow myself to get turned on, matter a fact I look for opportunities to get turned on. If nothing is presenting itself, I create it. I ask for it. I look for it. My turn on is about all of life NOT just sex. I look for ways to experience ORGASM in life and when I find that warming tingle that ignites me, I dance with it. I play with it. I eat it up and I open myself to God to be f-cked wide open. I welcome the penetration through my surrender and joy.
 
#4 – I spread my body in surrender daily so that God can worship me and I God.
There is not a day that goes by that I don’t open myself up to God so that the universe can flow through me. I write my opening in my daily journaling, I ask for the universe to carry me and I look for the opportunities that present themselves to me to achieve this. I understand the power that resides between my legs. Yes I understand the power of my sex and even in times when I want to close and shut down, I CHOOSE to open. I CHOOSE to receive orgasm. If only a small taste, I accept it and open consciously to more. I do this by putting my SEX as a priority. I allow God to worship me this way through my surrender to orgasm. The deeper I surrender, the deeper God penetrates me and the more extreme the worshiping which allows me a deeper worship with God as well. Worship in this form manifests my desires speedily because I am NOT trying to control it, I am just opening to it with a clear intent.
 
#5- Unapologetic Authenticity.
This one “should” be number one perhaps, as it is just as important as gratitude. Knowing yourself is not enough. Pretending to know yourself is far from tapping into greatness.
Being a follower will NEVER achieve the results you want.
Making excuses as to why you did this or that or are one way or another will never grant you any miracle or beauty. The ONLY way you get what you want is to unapolgetically be YOU!!!!! This means NO FOLLOWING. You can look for leadership, but you still must DO YOU 100%. Listening to society, friends, church, parents, spouse or other will only create a false you. It will only mask who you really are and encourage you to remain in the state you currently are. I learned a long time ago that BEING ME was the only way to my HAPPINESS. It has been a long journey and it is one that I walk with myself DAILY. I meet myself in every moment, with every person I come in touch with. I embrace all my aspects and have learned that the more I just let go of what I think everyone wants of me, the more everyone loves me and the happier I am. The better my message is, the deeper I can go and the greater light I can share.
 

SO how do I do it all?

How can a mom of 7 children ROCK her shit, take no excuses and live the F-CK YES! Life?
How can I go from $17k a year, bankruptcy, foreclosure and depression to a multi-six figure business, travel, ton’s of play, doing what I love and loving what I do.
Having a life that everything is just about me being me and living and getting paid F-cking Fantastic for it?
 
I just do the above.
I just follow my heart.
I let my soul lead.
I listen to my pussy you could say, if it turns me on, I do it.
If it turns me off, I don’t do it.
I have CERTAINTY that God has my back.
I count my blessings and I openly brag about them.
I keep my focus on my JOY.
 
That is what I do.
I DO ME DAILY Unapologetically.
 
What are you doing?

And as always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

Is it Christmas yet? A love story.

WOW!!!! I cannot believe how quickly this year has gone by. So many amazing adventures and beautiful people have shared this year with me. This next week is Thanksgiving, there are already Christmas tree’s up in the stores, lights being lit all around town and Christmas music occasionally playing here and there. Mother nature occasionally is letting us feel the comforts of the season, although here in Texas she takes too many med’s or maybe not enough and seem’s a little manic.

Doesn’t matter….

I love this time of the year, fall might even be my favorite. The other day I was on Facebook and some memories came popping up showing me what I was doing this time last year. My heart swelled with love and joy at seeing all the incredible moments that I had then. Suddenly I found myself wishing to drift back to those moments and linger there.  This year I have committed to stay home for the holidays and make it a working season in preparation for all the marvelous adventures of 2018.

Looking back on the last twelve months though I realized the journey that I have been on is one that has been loaded with blessings. Even in some of the shadowy moments I felt great rapture and transformation at a core level.  The year has had so much turbulence but with it great accomplishment.

So let me share my tale with you if you will….

Just over a year ago this new journey began, I was on a last minute hiking and horse backing riding trip to Spirit Lake in Kentucky with my lover.  The extended weekend was fabulous in every way from taking in the sites of chimney rock, the natural bridge, angels arch to horse back riding on Jack a horse that I am convinced had smoked some MaryJane.  We toured Claiborne, Secretariat’s Ranch and went to the Lexington Races, enjoyed some hippie pizza out in the middle of no where, raced on a zipline and went on a driving tour of the historical sites such as Transylvania University. However even with ALL this adventure my favorite moments were spent in the cave we discovered on the back side of the property of our cabin. Wine, camp fire and love making under the stars. Now that is orgasmic.

This unexpected trip to Kentucky was perhaps one of my favorite trips of all time. I had no expectation going in. I could not even believe that I had agreed to go on this trip, thinking what is in Kentucky anyway? LOL – WOW!!! I discovered more than what I ever could have imagined and what I am speaking of has nothing to do with everything that I just shared.

Kentucky opened my heart and soul at new level to my lover and to G-d. We had traveled before together, enjoyed beautiful destinations such as Costa Rica, but this trip, this trip we went deeper, we laughed harder, we became raw with each other spiritually as well as emotionally. It was fucking AMAZING!

We followed this trip up with New York in December where we enjoyed Broadway, Central Park, The Tavern on the Green who makes an incredible cocktail I wish I knew the name of, lots of tours, the empire state building, statue of liberty, Rockefeller Center and Tree Lighting, Sojo, the 9/11 memorial, the MET, and some simply yummy foods.

From there we found ourselves at Christmas back home! Carriage rides, plays and fine dining. Love making on a golf course and in front of the fire in the living room. Laughter, joy, play, adventure and opening…. I took my family on a cruise to Mexico to swim with dolphins, see the great wonders of Chichén Itzá, drink too much tequila and enjoy the beauty of this earth.

2017 began and I found myself on a girls trip to Punta Cana with a dear friend where we enjoyed the beaches and the breath taking night sky, hardly ever wanted to leave our private villa, went ziplining, drank too much rum and danced under the night sky and enjoyed our fierce female friendship.

February rolled around and my lover surprised me with a trip to Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds in Riviera Maya on the beach for three days. Oh my! That crazy, crazy man how he knows just what to do.  Three days on the east coast of Mexico hiking Coba, swimming with sea turtles, enjoying all the tropical waters and fish as well as the cenotes.  But we were not done with Mexico yet!

From here we flew to Cabo where we stayed a few days and did whale watching at Neptunes Finger, ziplined through a very hot canyon, toured the Sea of Cortez and ate too much.

The year was still young and as soon as this adventure was done we found ourselves a few short months later off to a surprise trip to Laguna Beach. Telling me that we were going to go hiking in the Texas Hill Country I packed for such. The morning of the trip came and he picked me up and drove me not to Austin but the the airport where he asked the TSA agents if they would pass me through everything with him holding my ticket so that I would not know till last minute where I was actually going. Guess what? I have NEVER been through security so fast and with such sweetness from TSA. We arrived in California a few short hours later and spent the day driving with the top down enjoying the the California sun.  The trip was filled with laughter, joy and love. Playing like big kids at Disneyland, shopping and dining on the streets of Laguna Beach, a sunset cruise from Dana Point and a massage and art buying after  a ferry ride on Catalina Island. Love making on the balcony over looking the ocean and snuggling by the outside fire of the Montage for sunset. Possibly my second favorite trip…..

Okay, no Dave Matthews still win’s…

At our return to Texas we found ourselves walking into a turbulent, painful summer. A summer that would change our worlds.

We could have never expected what the next few days would bring let along the next few months and the rest of the year.

I am a deeply spiritual person and I believe that the spiritual strength that we both have, needed to be revealed. This next chapter of our relationship would mean for us to part ways for an unknown time frame. Years of love, years of connection, trust, depth , play, adventure, soul raptureing moments came to a sudden halt when G-d called on us both. My lover went to a funeral and was seen by a woman whom he greatly respects , she shared a message with him that was short, “God wants you to get on your path. He is giving you three days.” – Now when one hears a message like this, one listens. Or so I hope they do.

He did.

I found myself in a place of support and distance. Feeling nervous.  Quickly the universe side tracked me with my own chaos of family. My aging mother found herself needing 24/7 care for the onset of Dementia.  Me being her only support. My entire summer was spent dealing with state issues, finding a residence for her, figuring out how to make it all work while my lover found himself moving down a path of solitude to reconnect and center himself with the creator again.  In August we made a commitment to each other that we would hold true to our paths and let G-d lead us. We swore to see each other on the other side of this solo-journey of the rebirthing of the soul. There was no fighting but there were tears.

And there are daily tears, still.

It is funny, one would think that after four months of not seeing each other or speaking, only a few short texts to exchange a brief message here and there every few weeks as to say, ” I am still alive,” that one would feel ever so distant from the other. The lesson that has now been embossed into every cell of my being is just the opposite.

At every corner of this journey I have had certainty. When I look back through the years of loving, I see all the opportunities we each had to turn away from each other but chose instead to love deeper and stand in the fires of life stronger. When I look at the years together and all that has happened between us and each of our lives I am certain that our love is unique. It is truly authentic and real. The things that we have seen, experienced and asked of each other have pushed us in many ways. Some may perceive some of our adventures in life as crazy stupid, painful, sinful even.  But here is the thing….

I am lifted up by the love I have…

The love I share…

The love that will never die…

And I still hold on, NOT to him, not even to  the love.

I hold on to my certainty that G-d has my back.

And those who have certainty, can wait with ease.

I am waiting, Christmas will come again.