Weak Boundaries? No Problem. Do These 2 Things to Overcome Your Shiz NOW!

You have a lack of boundaries with yourself beautiful.

Say what?

Your boundaries for self SUCK.
You cannot even deny it.
You may be under the impression that you got all your shiz together,
that boundaries are goofy or not really needed,
I mean you hear people say all the time with pride that they have none,
or perhaps you have what you consider very hard boundaries,
but baby I got news for you.
Porous or solid,
your self- boundaries suck.

And here is my observation and reasoning for you.

You refuse to commit.
You refuse to stay consistent.
You refuse to do the DAMN THING that you KNOW you must do for yourself.
You keep turning your back on YOU.
And then you have the gumption to b*itch about it and proclaim,

I took that class…
I got that help…
I tried that…
I had patience…
I pushed myself…
I focused on that…
I did that meditation, journaling, “work”….

I did it,
BUT….
“IT” did not help me.

“IT” did not give me the results that I wanted or expected it too.

Okay beautiful,
you are full of crap right now.
This is all bullsh*t!

“IT” whatever “IT” is or was has NOTHING to do with you having success.

The thing that determines your success is YOU.
Doing this THING that you “tried” is not ever going to get you the results that you want.

“IT” is support, education, a new viewpoint, system, guidance to help you achieve what you want IF….

YOU do the damn THING that you need to do.

And that THING is COMMIT.
That thing is staying consistent.

COMMITMENT + CONSISTENCY
to YOU beautiful.

And what does that look like? 🤔

➡️It looks like you getting up in the morning and stretching,
breathing into your beautiful body and feeling the gratitude that your body supported your life all night without any conscious effort from you instead of dreading the day ahead.

➡️It looks like you NOT choosing to look at the money you do not have in your bank account before you drink your first morning coffee or shower.

➡️It looks like you applying your focus to positive affirmations instead of looking at the bank account.

➡️It looks like you expanding your knowledge around things that turn you on instead of spending your time with things that drain you.

➡️It looks like you believing that you are worthy of love, success, a beautiful body, abundance and safety instead of focusing your fear on the opposite.

➡️It looks like you committing to YOU and not being the people pleaser that you feel you need to be in order to feel connection, love and gain success in any subject of your life.

➡️ It looks like you not making excuses about your money, your emotions, your responsibilities, your health, your support, your time, your vibration or the economy and JUST DOING THE DAMN THING!

➡️It looks like you being strong in who you are and what you want instead making allowances for being weak and stupid and letting your fears and worries dictate you results.

That is what it looks like beautiful.

But no one,
no program,
no coach, educator, marketing system or therapist,
no healer or medication,
no system,
no nothing…

But your COMMITMENT + CONSISTENCY can get you this.

So back to those boundaries that you seem to be having issues with and you want to ignore so fiercely.

Back to making some things nonnegotiable to your life and how you choose to show up and claim it.

Back to getting real and raw,
that is the hard thing.
That is the challenge.
To recognize and accept that YOU.
you are the one holding the map.
It’s your decision what way to go each step of your path.
And even when you feel like you have some great reason as to why you are going a direction that you know is out of alignment,
that ONLY YOU are making that decision.
And it is NEVER forced on you.
You CHOOSE how you react to any given experience or moment in your timeline.
You CHOOSE what you apply your attention and energy too.
You CHOOSE what you commit too.
But always remember that…

YOU ARE COMMITTING TO SOMETHING.

Where does your commitment lie?

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

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Just another Gabolie-Gook Moment!

Gabolie-gook!
That’s about all that is in my brain tonight.
It’s just past midnight,
and I feel a need to press forward.
I feel an urgency,
a pressure.
I feel as though if I do not write,
if I just let go of it today that something astronomically horrible will most likely happen to my business,
to my social status,
to my flow
my following,
my life.
 
And so I sat here,
at my breakfast table,
with my mind feeling rummy.
My body tired from the day,
and I sat here,
feeling overwhelm and stress.
 
I played back the conversations of today.
The words and intimacies shared between myself
and clients. Myself and family. Myself and lovers.
And friends.
 
And I felt a call of duty to share something.
Not just something,
but something of value.
A lesson.
A deep thought.
And you know what I found?
 
Gabolie-gook!
 
Nothing more than gabolie-gook.
 
And what do I mean by this?
Or maybe perhaps the better question is,
Why the f-ck am I sharing my gabolie-gook experience with you?
 
I am sharing because we all have times that we feel great pressure to perform.
Great pressure to get something done.
We have deadlines.
We have time lines.
People are waiting on us,
and we have things that must get accomplished in order for the results that we want to happen.
And sometimes,
yes sometimes,
we have nothing more to offer to these moments.
Our minds,
and our hearts,
our creativity,
and our passion are all too tired.
And they leave us with gabolie-gook.
 
And guilt.
And shame.
And a feeling of not being good enough.
 
These gabolie-gook moments can crush us in seconds if we allow them too, or we recognize them for what they are.
 
Our soul saying,
It is time to PAUSE.
 
Time to give yourself space from this,
much like the athlete that has been pressing hard for days or weeks, who’s body will come to a point and demand a break, so that it can have some down time, some times to decompress and let go, so will our minds, our creative energy do the same.
 
Today I spoke with a man,
a business man who works for himself and he shared his frustration around the recent onset of a gaboli-gook moment in his life. He chose to let go of pushing forward on his work to take a little trip,
the trip took over priority in his life to the point that he focused for a few days prior on it more than his work.
Now a few days after his return, he finds himself still dealing with the lingering essence of this trip, causing him a gabolie-gook state of being.
 
Feeling pressure.
Feeling like he is falling behind,
feeling the gnashing of teeth on his heals,
his overwhelm from the gaboli-gook has now caused a state of procrastination.
Faking him out to believe that the ball is not rolling anymore,
that it is too heavy to push and get started up again,
that once dropped, it may not be able to be moved.
 
Here is the issue with gabolie-gook moments.
It is NOT the moment.
 
It is the thoughts and beliefs that we have around allowing ourselves the time to let go.
The fear of being lazy,
creates laziness.
 
And so we stumble in the darkness of our fear,
and we procrastinate.
 
We beat ourselves up for not achieving everything that was on our daily task list.
We look at our agenda’s and we feel exhaustion.
Hopeless in the face of this never ending task list.
This never ending moment of needing to create.
To do.
To build.
To network.
To be turned on.
 
So what is the answer?
The answer is simple.
 
SURRENDER and LOVE.
 
Love the moment.
No matter what it is.
Surrender to the beauty of the moment, no matter what it is.
 
And LET THE F-CK GO!
 
All moments are just that….
moments.
 
Fleeting.
 
They all pass.
They only linger and expand into something more,
when we focus in on them and water them with our thoughts and beliefs.
When we feel into them and manifest them into reality.
Your gaboli-gook moment,
is NOTHING.
 
Unless, you make it something.
So what are you choosing to focus on?
That is always the key.
 
Your thoughts.
Your feelings.
and then
Your actions.
 
 
Never another order.
 
When presented or feeling stuck in a gabolie-gook moment,
much like the one that I was in about 15 minutes ago,
the task to focus in on is to love the moment and accept it as it is,
then look for something to do that will pull your thoughts and feelings a different direction.
 
For example,
I chose to finish dealing with my closet that was getting rearranged,
and I chose move somethings around in my home that I had been waiting for the right time to do,
this gabolie-gook moment gave me that time.
It was a time for me to change up my thinking and feeling,
clear out some space and thus clear out the gabolie-gook moment with it.
 
🙂
 
An d here we are,
after midnight.
 
And my post is done.
And my much like the gabolie-gook,
the moment has passed.
 
Just remember,
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
*Don’t get Stuck in the Gabolie-Gook!”
 
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Respect your effing time!

Respect your effing time!
Respect your effing time!

Over and over again I am reminded of this lesson.

Through the years I have been asked why I charge for consults?

I often get asked if I can do consults with potential new clients for free or discount.

I get asked if I would consider working at discount because this is a good cause.

If I would do a favor for a friend.
Or since I am such a sweet person, do it all for free.

LOL.

It is frequently assumed that if I really want to build my business or help others build theirs that I should do the above.

WTF?

I think not.

My response on some days to this inquiry is simple:

Would you go to work and put your whole heart and soul into a job for no return?”

“Would you work for your job for free?”

Answer: NO

Then why do expect me or anyone else to do this?

The truth is. I love my career. I cannot ever see myself doing anything else. And if this world did not run on the green stuff, then I would do what I do anyway. I often tithe coaching to people who I am called to do so with, but it is soul driven, NOT requested of me.

I respect myself, my time and your journey enough to know that by taking the step forward and putting your money where your mouth is out of play, is only going to cause roadblocks down the road for you and cause respect issues as well.

———————————————————————————————

Years ago I use to do all of the above and then some.
I use to not only do free consults but I would also drive all over the Dallas area to meet these people.

I believed that I had too.
I believed that in order to build my empire I needed to stress.
I needed to put in the time.
I needed to stretch myself like this.
I had to pay the price.

Oh my f-cking God!
I was so effing wrong.

Well still today I occasionally get caught off guard.
I go and do these things.
Every now and again I find myself revising this lesson.

I should know that these maneuvers will never lead me to the life I desire nor will they help the people that look to me for direction.

Still…
The lessons need revisted I suppose.
Like today.
Here I sit at one of my favorite restaurants
Enjoying a Cucumber Basil Smash cocktail and some lobster and shrimp stuffed mushrooms.
Deciding on what to order for lunch.

(I think I am going with the lobster bisque today)

And how did I end up here.
Alone.

Well I am relearning the above lesson you see.
Yes I did a favor.

And I understand that things come up in life.
With that said,
Respect your effing time!

And mine too.

But you know what I truly think?
And feel?

Gratitude.
To be able to revisit my personal respect for myself and my most valuable treasure, my TIME.

Gratitude for being here at location I love, enjoying the food and drink I have chosen.

Gratitude that I can share with you this lesson, in hopes you can gain from it.

Gratitude that nothing ever really gets me,
Lemons to lemonade.

Here I sit.
A little behind my schedule sure.
Now with my lover,
Enjoying my drink and food on this Sunday.
And knowing that I took a disrespect of my time and turned it into an experience of bliss and positive manifestation.

Here’s to loving your life.
Here’s to honoring your time and life.

And as always,
Stop Existing and Start Living
Claim Your Life.

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