I’ve Become Monogomish

monogamishHow did I get myself into this one…

My confessions: I’m a hardcore romance junkie, like heroin and crack. And I can’t seem to confront myself directly without going through a man to do it.

What is it in here that is so disturbing to me that I can’t face it?

Perhaps the squirming snake of my own immense hunger, endless and ready to swallow the nutrient it craves whole. The moral-less flavor of it, the disregard it has for human life, for values, for ideals, for feelings, for “where people are at,” for slowing down and for “holding space.”

It’s this coiling boa constrictor of appetite that is simply meant to eat. The hunting predator in the woods doesn’t think at all except to calculate distance, how to make sure the wind doesn’t carry her scent to her prey, and how to have it be that her final powerful leap lands her right on top of her target.

This is the one in me who craves the romance. I don’t know why romance is the thing. I don’t know if it is because my dad used to drink and he used to leak emotion all over me when he was in his cups deep, emotion that had this thick sweet cloying romantic quality to it. Well yeah that’s probably it. All I know for sure is that it’s still something that has dominion over me, for better or worse. And now I find myself winding my way through another romance.

The stage is set. We have been seeing each other for a few weeks and while it’s new, there is a deep spot of involuntary that got touched in us both.

So there’s me: unconventional relationship practices for the last decade, anything close to monogamous not among them. And there’s him: if you love someone and they love you, and you have sex, you are now monogamous. And if that changes or goes off-course it equates total psychic devastation.

Some might see this as an impasse, but my mind is in heavy play-mode these days, so… I came up with a game. Thirty days of research – I am monogomish (I still practice Orgasmic Meditation with others) and he has to sleep with other people.

This is a huge edge for both of us on each side. For him, having me and having other women totally cracks open his concepts of conventional relating. What woman would afford her man these luxuries? Does it mean I don’t want him enough? Does it mean he might become some kind of “lesser” man who just likes to fuck loads of women?

And for me, well… I’ve prided myself in being a free woman for a number of years now. Free in her thinking and in her sex, a rare breed we call “turned-on women” who won’t allow themselves to lock down into too much conventionality lest they lose their ability to move freely in the world and liberate others. This looks different for all of us but for me a huge component of it was non-monogomy.

My sex is my furnace, my generator, my power; to hand the satisfaction of it all over to one person feels terrifying. Does it mean I’m not free anymore? Does it mean I’m going to sleep inside of my addiction to romance? Does it mean I won’t be able to produce enough fuel for my fire and my power will dwindle?

It’s day three. All I know so far is that there is a vigilant hunter that usually sweeps through the area as I walk through London, as I chat with people in a room, as I surf the internet. And this hunter is suddenly quieting in the arena of searching for prey.

Some part of me is softening into allowing myself to be pet and taken care of. This was so not the stroke for me in the past but now here I am and it is.

I can feel my insides relax into it unexpectedly and sink into a deeper sense of femininity and reception.

ORIGINAL POSTING @ Orgasm Daily

15 Things You Should Give up to Make Your Marriage Work

15-Things-You-Should-Give-up-to-Make-Your-Marriage-Work4Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your married life a lot easier and a lot happier. We hold on to so many things that cause a great deal of stress and frustration in our relationships – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing our relationships to flourish and blossom – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today you will give up on all those things that no longer serve you, and you will embrace change. Starting today you will make your marriage work. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your unrealistic expectations

Give up all your unrealistic expectation about marriage being this beautiful box full of all the things you have always longed for and see marriage for what it truly is – an empty box where you and your partner MUST put all the things you want to take out. Accept that if you want to have love in your marriage, you have to put it there. If you want to have happiness, passion, intimacy, companionship, trust in your marriage, you have to put it there. Relationships take work, a lot of work and if you want to live a happy, beautiful and loving life next to your partner, you will both commit to making your marriage work. Always remember, relationships don’t work unless you do.

2. Give up control

People are made to be loved, not controlled. The more you try to control your partner, the more you will push him or her away from you and the less love there will be left between you two. Give up control and allow the ONE you love to just be. Allow the person you love to be who they are and not who you want them to be.  

3. Give up possessiveness

No matter how long you two have been together and no matter if you are married and have 10 children together or not, you do not posses your partner. He/her is not your propriety. You both are two separate entities and just as you are separate from him, so is she separate from you. Give up possessiveness and allow your partner to breathe. Give him/ her the space and freedom they truly deserve and watch how much more beautiful your relationship becomes.

4. Give up criticism

Give up the need to criticize every little thing your partner does or doesn’t do and instead start appreciating those many things that made you fall in love with this person in the first place. Seek to praise not to criticize. Keep in mind that you attract more bees with honey than you do with vinegar.

“Compliments and criticism are all ultimately based on some form of projection.” ~ Billy Corgan

5. Give up the need to fix your partner

Relationships aren’t about fixing one another, relationships are about loving, caring and supporting one another. You might think it’s your responsibility to “save” and “fix” your partner but trust me, that’s not really the case. Give up the need to fix your partner and work on growing, improving and evolving together instead.

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.” ~ Albert Einstein

6. Give up your jealous behavior

”A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein

The root cause of jealousy is insecurity. Work on letting go of your insecurities and you will immediately understand the futility of a jealous behavior. You will immediately give jealousy up. 

7. Give up on your fears

Give up the fear of cheating on one another, the fear of falling out of love, the fear of having your present relationship become as toxic as the previous ones and so on. Get out of your fearful head and into your loving heart. Give up on all your fears and love with all your heart. 

“Perfect love casts out fear. If fear exists, then there is not perfect love.” ~ A Course In Miracles

8. Give up the chase for perfection

What screws us up the most is this idea we have in our heads about how relationships should be like and how our partners should behave. Instead of savoring, loving and praising one another, nurturing the relationships we have, we waste our precious time and energy seeking perfection, in ourselves, in our partner There’s no such thing as perfect relationships simply because there’s no such thing as perfect people. Your marriage is and always will be a reflection of who and your partner are – two perfectly imperfect people.

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” ~ Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

9. Give up on blame

Believe it or not, it’s not the other person’s job to make you feel all the things that you yourself can’t feel on your own. It’s not the other person’s job to make you feel loved, happy and whole when you yourself feel unworthy, unhappy and incomplete. That’s not their job, that’s your job. Give up the need to blame your partner for everything that goes wrong in your world, for why you aren’t feeling as loved and as happy as you would like to feel and start taking ownership for your own thoughts and feelings.

“Tell everyone you know: “My happiness depends on me, so you’re off the hook.” And then demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they’re doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel-and then, you’ll love them all. Because the only reason you don’t love them, is because you’re using them as your excuse to not feel good.” ~ Esther Hicks

10. Give up the need to always be right

Remember when you and your partner first started dating? Remember how beautiful and how lovingly you spoke to one another? Back then you didn’t care whether you were right all the time or not. All that you cared about was to make the other person feel loved, appreciated and happy. So why change now? Give up the need to always be right and choose to be kind, loving and supportive instead. 

“Common courtesy plays a big role in happy marriages. People who are permanently married are polite to one another. They don’t want to hurt one another’s feelings, and they don’t try to make the other one feel humiliated. People who are married for life are extremely kind to one another.” ~ Frank Pittman

11. Give up living your life according to the other person’s expectations

It’s true that relationships require compromise but when you compromise too often, living your life according to the other person’s expectations, you risk losing yourself and that’s how you start feeling bitter, depleted, frustrated and very unhappy. Don’t lose the “I” in playing the “We” game. Compromise when needed but not so much that you lose your sense of self. Balance is key.

“The hardest-learned lesson: that people have only their kind of love to give, not our kind.” ~ Mignon McLauglin

12. Give up your clingy behavior

There’s nothing less attractive than a person who clings onto his/her partner expecting the other person to provide all their emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. Take the “pressure” off of your partner’s shoulders and put it on your shoulders instead. Seek to become the provider of your own their emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. Be the source of your own happiness.

“You have so little faith in yourself because you are unwilling to accept the fact that perfect love is in you, and so you seek without for what you cannot find within.” ~ A Course In Miracles

13. Give up asking for more than you give

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” ~ Anthony Robbins

If you enter a relationship expecting to get a lot more than you give, chances are that you will have many marriage regretsThe only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take. Give more, ask less.

14. Give up your emotional baggage

Make peace with your past. Make peace with your “stuff”. Don’t carry the heavy weights of your past with you into the present. If you want to build a happy, loving and healthy relationship, you have to start fresh, you have to leave your emotional baggage behind.

“The past has no power to stop you from being present now. Only your grievance about the past can do that. What is grievance? The baggage of old thought and emotion.” ~ Lao Tzu

15. Give up attachment

There is a huge difference between love and attachment and what most people call “love” is nothing more than attachment. Attachment comes from a place of fear, while love is pure, kind, and selfless. Love is ready to detach and let go if the relationship between two people becomes toxic and detrimental to the healthy growth and evolution of both parties. Attachment on the other hand loves to hold onto toxicity, feeding itself with the pain and suffering of people.

Deepak Chopra says it best with these words: “Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you. Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires. Love imposes no demands. Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand – “Make me feel whole.” Love expands beyond the limits of two people. Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people.”

And these are the 15 things you should give up to make not only marriage work but also any romantic relationship.

P.S. It’s very important to understand that some people, no matter how much they love one another and no matter how much they want to make their marriage work, might not be able to do so simply because they both learned the lessons they had to learn and now life calls them in different directions. To paraphrase Elizabeth Gilbert, soul mates, they might come into your life to reveal another layer of yourself to you, to help you see a part of you that you did not know was there, but when the work is done, they will leave, making room for something new, for something better to come your way.

This is why it’s so important to listen to your heart and intuition and make sure that you don’t stay in a relationship that makes you feel dead on the inside simply because that’s what society and everyone around you expects you to do. Your peace of mind, health, happiness and wellbeing are more important than anything else. So stay happy!

“The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It’s a choice you make – not just on your wedding day, but over and over again – and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.” ~ Barbara De Angelis

If it’s true that marriages are meant to last for life, why is it that so many people divorce? What do you think is the key ingredient to make a marriage work? I really want to know what are your thoughts on this. You can share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below :)

With all my love,

ORIGINAL POSTING at Purpose Fairy

Living The Shift: The Union Between Sexuality & Spirituality as Part of our Evolution

sexnspirit

For some time, we have created and perpetuated the belief that sexuality and spirituality are two very different boxes in our lives, along with the idea that sex is dirty, impure, and “ungodly” – only acceptable for reproduction. The treatment of this part of ourselves as forbidden and primal has led us to using the act of sex in many debasing ways and has greatly minimized, if not eliminated altogether, the idea that sexuality is actually one of the doorways to help us remember our Divinity.

When we shift to accepting its higher vibration, our sexuality becomes a sacred form of self-realization and opening to the higher self, as well as opening to full union of higher love and connection with another. In this way, it’s incorporated as a crucial part of our spiritual evolution!

Our guest this week is Kendal Williams (www.tantrictransformation.com), a Tantric practitioner whose lifetime journey to self-empowerment presented itself through the melding of her sexuality and spirituality.

Listen to the recorded talk via VoiceAmerica

livingtheshift

Living the Shift: Our Evolution of Body, Mind, and Spirit

The Union Between Sexuality and Spirituality as Part of Our Evolution

Show date: 7/30/13

Key Notes from Kendal’s Interview

Angela: Please cover the highlights of your background, how your journey led you to finding your spirituality within your sexuality.

Kendal: Spirituality has been in my life forever. Sexuality was too, but I did not understand it as such. The world has always turned me on, everything about it. Even as a child I was fascinated and turned on my nature and by everything the world had to offer me. However it was not until my teen years that I was opened up to the possibilities. Love stepped into my life with a young man who was my first teacher. He brought a greater scope of spirituality into my life by introducing me to the concepts and practices of Tantra. Our lovemaking and deep connection opened me to life and the unity of spirituality and sexuality. My real lessons in love and in life  happened though when he left and my heart crumbled into pain. This allowed me to experience the rawness of life and great beauty came from it. I turned and walked down the path of what I call the, “white picket fence life,” You could say I strived for the American dream. Success. Or what we are taught success is, the house, car, travel, money, etc. I married and had children. We went through much chaos and learning and grew spiritually even though neither of us were consciously aware of the lessons at hand. Over the course of 17 years our paths slowly separated and our lessons needed to manifest apart from each other. Toward the end of my marriage I called into my life a teacher. I started paying attention to the omens/signs around me and reconnected to the spirit that I had always knew.  During this time of my life I was introduced to kabbalah and learned about the ego and how to expand our light body as well as the meeting of Duncan Knight (my tantra teacher and now dear friend).  I knew three things at this point: 1) I needed healing personally, I was numb to life and if I felt anything it was rage and depression 2) I wanted my relationship to my husband healed but was not caught up on any given physical outcome of that, whatever healed meant was good for me  and 3) I wanted to become a practitioner.

As I worked with Duncan my lower chakras started to awaken and heal, with this my desire for living life and feeling was summed back. I was horny. My kundalini was awakening and as it did I decided that I needed to explore sexuality deeper and expand out. This awakening brought reality into a clear picture, I wanted lovers in my life. I wanted sensual expression in my life. I wanted experience and I wanted the courage to do what was needed. I was scared to death of each step I had to take, but the universe provided me with many perfect souls that would become my guides, teachers of life, mirrors, lovers and friends and even a few that would come through to teach the hard lessons of pain and suffering. This time of life was full of miracles when I look back at it. Even as I worked through tough issues such as rape and the separation of a 17 year marriage I now can see the great beauty in what was being provided.

In the unity and healing of my sexuality and spirituality I opened the gateway to harmony, peace, unconditional love and acceptance of self and others and the ability to live unbound.

Angela: What is the difference between basic sexuality, as we generally know it today, and what sexuality can be (and provide) in its optimal state?

Kendal: Its ALL about integration. The integration of sexual pleasure and spiritual surrender. We do this when we learn to love and trust in life, not just in our intimate relationships. Openness is about the body opening up, our muscles relaxing, our hearts opening instead of hiding behind emotional blockades; where spiritual openness is fully feeling into each moment of life, feeling that there is NO separation between us and that precious moment of the present. When we do this we reach optimal bliss and passion not just in our lovemaking but in our daily lives. You see when we get turned on in the bedroom we are also getting turned on to life. Sex is a creative process that wants to manifest miracles. We are the ONLY species that has the ability to not only experience great pleasure from our “mating” but also not have it be mating, instead we have the great blessing of sex for pleasure and manifestation. This is where we need to start to except sex’s greatest gift to us. In our sexing we are able to expand our vessels and fill ourselves with an enormous amount of life force energy, if we open to this power of the creator and align our thoughts in the moment or orgasm to what we want to manifest in life then we can draw down these things, out of the quantum field of possibilities and have them materialize into our lives.
Angela: Does someone have to be in a relationship to explore this part of themselves? Please expound on this a little bit.

Kendal: Absolutely NOT. Some of the best and most powerful, spiritually evolving as well as educational sex is provided in the presence of no one other then ourselves. Self pleasuring is mandatory weather you are in a relationship or not. And I highly recommend that if you are single that you take this opportunity to work on yourself both sexually and spiritually. With self- pleasuring in a spiritual sense you learn to become the shaman of your life, you learn about your body, what you like and don’t like, you learn about your energy and how it flows through you at orgasm and if you are wise you will allow yourself to be witness to not only the pleasurable events of energy flowing but how your energy flows when you are upset, depressed or otherwise. How do these times relate in energy flow to orgasm and how can you direct that energy for the greatest good instead of what normally happens, a short circuit and then exhaustion. Through the practice of spiritual sex (weather alone or not) you can acquire powerful tools of self control, self love, acceptance, healing and learn to open to your own personal vortex of abundance.

Angela: What would be your advice to someone who’s put sexuality low on the priority scale in their spiritual evolution?

Kendal: Leaving sexuality out of spirituality is like trying to be positive all the time in life, by doing this we abandon part of ourselves. We are not being authentic. And by doing that we remain at the level that the part of us that we abandoned is still sitting. Only through embracing all of ourselves, including our kinks and dysfunctions, our traumas and our desires, our angels, saints and devils will we ever be able to become the full expression of love that the creator wants us to be. This is true surrender and surrender is powerful for our spiritual/emotional and physical growth. You have to remember that the thing that all of us that consciously walk a spiritual path subscribe to is the power of love, well that love-force that moves through the universe is also the same love force that breathes our breath and enables our hearts to beat as well as our genitals to experience orgasm. The only reason we don’t accept sex as a spiritual force is because of 2500 years of fear being programmed into us. When this fear dissolves, we no longer separate ourselves from the creator, we become part of the infinite flow of life. Opening sexually is opening to this flow of life. When we are having sex we are (if we are a man) penetrating the world with our presence in the moment, with our strength, our passion, our purpose. We are guiding the energy of the universe into what we want to manifest. (if we are a woman) the more we open our legs and allow ourselves to be penetrated we open to abundance, creation, love and surrender. In this we women carry with us the infinite universe within our wombs where we can manifest our dreams into reality.

 

Angela: What would you recommend as the first step for anyone wanting to explore their sexuality in a spiritual way – both individually and in a relationship?

Kendal: There are two first steps.

Learn to breathe. Breath is not only the essence of our soul but in learning how to properly breathe you will gain great insight into yourself, as well as have the most powerful step toward connecting, maintaining and controlling your life force energy. In our breath we can connect our spirits and travel up the spiritual ladder to heaven, we can expand our orgasmic state out into the world and fill our physical bodies with a sustainable energy that will carry us for days. Breath is the gateway to higher consciousness and sex that can heal and transform us as well as our world.

The second step is:

Have more sex. Really get properly sexed open every day if you can. Single or in a relationship take the time each day to have an orgasm and when you do come, breathe it in and allow it to fill your body, relax your muscles instead of tensing up and envision in your minds eye what you want to create. Consciously surrender into this state of pleasure with the feeling, vision and desire of the life you want to have.

Tantra as a Spiritual Path

Recently I did a talk for Daniel D’Neuville at the Harmony Wellbeing Center in Irving Texas. I found the center to be very peaceful and inviting as well as the modalities offered  through them to be among some of the best in the Texas area from what I can tell. I strongly encourage anyone in the DFW area and even those who are not but looking for holistic alternatives to healing to explore the story of this wellness center. The founder has a powerful tale of overcoming Parkinson’s through the use of some of the services now offered at this location.

Now as for the topic of my talk the other night: Tantra as a Spiritual Path

Funny enough even though in recent times and mostly brought on by the closed mindedness of our society Tantra has been forgotten as a spiritual path, however when one researches it they will quickly see it primarily defined as just this; a spiritual path. Thus what tantra is known for in today’s western world is not primarily as a spiritual practice but as a way to infuse ones sexing with “hawt” moves and positions. It has also gotten a reputation as a sexual practice for those who do not believe in marriage, monogamy or any form of a committed relationship. These judgement’s on Tantra have led for much miseducation and even instilled fear in the common population, making it hard for those who honesty practice the spiritual nature of this beautiful art.

In truth the sexual practices of Tantra even though they do exist are the minor of the practice. Marriage, monogamy and committed relations are not something that those who practice Tantra avoid or discourage. These relationship forms are very much alive and active in the Tantra world, however as one expands consciousness and heals their physical, emotional and mental bodies they also experience a liberation of societal constraints, often referred to as openness. This openness allows for an individual to accept where they or their partner is at any given moment in a relationship and sometimes can lead to what is know as an open or polyamorous relationship. Do not be fooled to think that these forms of relationship are anything but committed. When one embarks on such a path with their partner they have to commit to a higher standard of trust, integrity and personal growth as well as love. Without these core things in place all will fall to the waste side. Such high consciousness relationships are based on COMMUNICATION and INTEGRITY. So much so that I have found the average “marriage” or committed relationship not open, trusting or even unconditionally loving enough to handle the truth of this deep heart based communication.

Sacred Sexuality

Tantra teaches sacred sexuality and this is what is marketed around the world for the most part. Humanity has struggled with sexuality and similar related topics, but interestingly enough there has always been arts and sciences devoted to the honoring of the sacred, sexual self. In fact all of the cosmoses origins are birthed in a sensual dance of lovemaking. These creative forces are found in all of  cosmic and human manifestations. The Divine Masculine and Feminine are everywhere! Look at EVERY major religion and philosophy and you will discover a sect devoted to mysticism. Each sect of mysticism has a sector devoted to consciously comprehending and exploring the deeper concepts of sexuality and its sacredness as well as the integration of spirituality and sexuality.

So what does Tantra mean anyway?

Tantra is a Sanskrit word of two parts. The prefix, tan, means “to expand, to join or weave.” The latter part, tra, means “tool.” When placing these two together you get the definition — ” a tool to expand, liberate, and bring together.” 

Tantra does this through the practice of many spiritual, emotional, mental and physical tools that assist in the development of our kundalini energy. Kundalini energy is our, as well as the universes essence or vital force. This 3 1/2 coiled serpent power that resides in our beings at the base of the spine is understood as the mechanism that awakens and expands. This “awakening” as you will hear it referred to the most is what leads to fulfillment, realization, liberation, and salvation. This awakening comes about through breath work, meditation, bodywork, ceremonies and rituals, yoga practices, as well as the presence and the weaving of all of life together and the ability to face and press through ones inner caverns where our ghosts and demons hide, allowing for spiritual light and healing to create a new reality.

The coils: Prana, Chitta and Para all have a separate role in our ascension process.

Prana kundalini which is essentially the energy that powers the fluctuation of the cerebral spinal fluid within the spinal column is commonly known as The Breath of Life. It is the fluctuation within the cerebral fluid that is considered within the spiritual tradition to be the essence of the three faze respiration process that powers ones physiology. With this coil of kundalini you experience all of your bodily functions and movements within this experiential world.

Chitta kundalini, which is Sanskrit for mind stuff is the vital energy of the mind. It is due to chitta that we are able to take in all the senses as well as information and structure it within as our personal history. This formation of personal history is how we manifest our instincts and our views of the world.

Para kundalini, which is the highest form is the universal vital life force essence itself. I refer to it as the God Spark. It is the source from which all of experience is delivered. It is within this that we experience Spanda. Spanda is Sanskrit meaning to move a little. Better described as the extremely soft and subtle vibrations of the universe. This energy has been referred to as the Holy Ghost, that quiet still voice that comes upon us in certain times of awakening and communing with God that softly moves us. However it is commonly known as microwaves, discovered by Bell Labs back in the 1960’s. A microwave is a subtle vibration which at the time of the study seemed to be equal throughout the entire universe. This very subtle vibration was the residue of the Big Bang and the residual vibration of the energy that the whole universe was formed from.

This Para kundalini is what tantric body work helps to expand throughout a being. As all three coils open (awaken) they travel though the chakra system detoxifying a person on EVERY level. This detoxification process can sometimes happen quickly but often can take months or even years. Once complete an individual is basically born again. This time they find themselves in a new world, with new thinking programs and new realities birthing from the way the process and experience life. A  beautiful but often painful struggle must be made to ascend to these deeper, more expansive forms of personal consciousness, but when ones does they learn to live openly full of unconditional love and acceptance in gratitude and humility. A life of Soul Integrity.

This is what Tantra as a Spiritual Practice focuses on. Unlike  most other spiritual and religious practices tantra teaches that in order to awaken this higher state of consciousness one must be allowed and even encouraged  to FULLY EMBRACE ALL of Life. 

Immersion of the Dragon — My Session with Alexander Brighton by Kendal Williams

As I walked up to Alexander’s door I had no idea what to expect in this tantric session. Having experience in Tantra and in healing sessions should set me at ease, however as I have discovered it truly has nothing to do with a session and EVERYTHING to do with what we are dealing with internally. At this particular time in my life I was dealing with a few emotional and physical challenges.  All of which I knew in my heart had to transform, but I was scared of the outcome. This particular session with Alexander Brighton was about my longing for harmony and transformation of these events in my life.

At first sight Alex calmed me with his whimsical happy smile and leprechaun sparkle in his eye. His playful, loving spirit breathed through my reservations and nervousness.  A warm tender hug and then guidance into his sacred space. Here he shared with me a quick over view of the session, revealing that we would be traveling away from his sacred space for the first part of the session.
Once I was present and feeling safe he asked permission to blind fold me. I agreed.
Then the REAL adventure began!

He guided me to his car, seated me comfortably inside and then drove me to our destination. As he parked the car in the driveway I could feel my heart rate increase. I was nervous and excited. What had he planned? What sort of adventure and healing awaited me?

The car door opened.
He took my hand in his, helped me out of the car and along a walk-way. I could hear a door opening then feel a cool breeze. I was inside a building of some sort. He had me sit down in a comfortable chair, asking me to relax and breathe deeply into my stomach. Telling me to breathe like Buddha. Deep, deeper. As deep as I could into my stomach to clear out all the old negative air and energy in my lungs, in all the corners where it had been stagnant for some time. Release all that I no longer needed.

As I did this he left my side for a few moments to prepare.
Next thing I knew he was by my side again. Guiding me yet through another doorway. Each doorway was magical in itself. In looking back I can see that each door way was a significant part of the session journey. Representing passageways that I had to cross through on my own free will.

This new location was warm. I could feel moisture in the air and hear the sound of waterfalls. Music playing in the background.  Its dance in the air accompanying me in each step of this healing. Alexander came to my side, close.
So close.
I could feel his breath on my shoulder, my cheek. It was arousing to only feel his breath and his light touch on my arm and shoulder.  Softly in my ear he asked for permission to remove my clothing.

Slowly sliding my dress down my body I could now feel the sun light kiss my skin, the breeze wrap its loving arms around me. Alex took both of my hands and slowly walked me over to where the ripple of waters sang a song of their life. Guiding me step by step he carefully walked me into a cool pool of healing water.  With each step into the pool I could feel a freshness of spirit come upon me. Alexander stood before me placing his hand on my chest and asking yet again for permission.
“Do I have permission of the goddess to hold you?”
“Yes.”

With my permission he took my naked body into his arms and floated me in the water. The water slowly molding itself to my body. My breasts partly revealed to the cool air.  I could feel his hands holding me in safely as he guided me through a meditation. Taking me to depths of energetic levels. Asking me to merge fully with my ethereal body. To trust in him, his voice, and his presence in this space. I could feel not only my breath under the water but his as well. His voice muted by the water my body almost fully emerged, I relaxed. Fully! His strong hands carrying me in safety.

As I released my stress and thoughts my body became more fluid like the water I was floating in. I felt only my breath and my heart. I imagine this is what outer space must feel like. Or perhaps this is the feeling of crossing over, of the release of our physical body?

Next he guided my floating body over to a place to sit. Here he sat behind me. Wrapping his legs and arms around my naked body. Sensual, arousing and safe. His hands gently found a home on my heart chakra at first. Here he guided me back into my body. Asking me to feel myself, to breathe and to be aware of the moment.  Slowly he placed his hands on my root chakra. Asking me to focus on the color red (the energy associated with this chakra). Then asked me to breathe, deep into the chakra as his hand massaged me. Warmth cascaded up my torso. A feeling of sexual arousal and connection all in one as he guided me into my root, connecting me to the earth, to my mother and to myself. Once I felt complete he moved his hand up to my second chakra, asking me to focus on the color orange and with each chakra he submerged me more and more into the waters of spirit and of self love and acceptance.

Soft tears cascaded down my cheek as the babbles of water sang along side me and Alexander’s warm hands  caressed me. His ability to not only hold space but comfort my crying soul as it released what was no longer needed was powerful in this moment. It was as though he was carefully holding my very soul and heart in his hands, kissing it with his energy and telling me that everything was going to be perfect.

That I was perfect.

Just as I was.

As he worked his way through my chakras and I released all the stuck energies I softened and relaxed even more into his cradle. Here I wanted to be. Here I accepted that every beginning in this life came from some other beginnings ending. Here I was at peace and in love with what was. I was soul. I was love and in love with the ONLY person that ever mattered in my life. Myself. Allowing me to forgive, release and heal all that I “thought” I could not previously let go. Here I could only feel love and acceptance. Support and harmony.

Here is where I still go today with each memory that I have of this blessed session with Alexander Brighton.  Thank you Mr. Brighton for being the inspiration, the teacher and friend that you are to so many in this world. Thank you for assisting me and supporting me on this life path and staying open in love with me as I move forward and sometimes backward. Your souls light is something that brings a smile to my face as I am sure it does to anyone open in allowing you to touch their own.
This Fire Dragon expresses GREAT appreciation and love for all that you do in the healing of the feminine and masculine energies of the world!

Tantra for Teenagers

I am no authority on teenagers…there are very few in my life. But I was one once, so certainly I have that under my belt. And as I sit on a plane to Greece, I am surrounded by groups of young people off on their two weeks of binge drinking and stranger shagging. Meanwhile I have my head in a tantra book. As I catch morsels of overheard conversations, I am tempted to turn to them and begin to preach the Gospel of Tantra! Don’t do it kids! Don’t separate your consciousness from your sexuality and begin to condition yourselves to a lifetime of sexual experiences in which you are not present!

But hey, most of us did at some point. Perhaps you have to fall in order to pick yourself up. It was only after three years of excessive drinking that I gave up alcohol once and for all and headed to India to find something else of life aged 18 (yes I gave up drinking once I became the legal age to drink!)

But what would it be like if, when those hormones firsts start pumping, someone came to talk to us about Tantra? What if, instead of the conflicting message of “sex is a biological method of reproduction” versus the Hollywood messages of “everyone has flawless bodies and is having a lot of great sex all the time”, we were given some sort of sharing about how sex is related to love, and that it can create very strong experiences. What if the word “sacred” were even mentioned in the same sentence as the word “sex”. What then?

And how about, as those surges of energy come through the young teenage body, someone explained sexual energy? Imagine that concept helping our youth to understand the overwhelming forces at play within, and perhaps even learning a few basic tools to help deal with all of that energy…a little breathwork to support them through moments of intense energy surge. Imagine if we were teaching our young people to understand their own sexual energy before they connect to the energy of another, and then when they do connect they know a little about energies playing together.

How about explaining polarity to children as suddenly they gain a sense of being different from the other sex. How about marking that shift, from child to young adult, with a rite of passage. Returning to nature, as our distant ancestors once did, with our peers and our elders, to find out what it is to become a man/woman. What if, instead of MTV icons of male- and female-ness, teenagers learned about age-old archtypes, and about masculine and feminine energies in nature and the universe. Perhaps we could teach them about our own unique make-up of energies, of masculine and feminine traits and tendencies…and how to be at ease with ourselves just as we are.

What if teenagers were shown how to respect the other sex? Taught how to honour qualities that they may not themselves embody. How to share the delights of our differences…not to try to steal something from the other, or to dominate or gain power over the other.

And how about if teenagers were shown sex beyond the pornographic hard, edgy, loveless sex? What if they were exposed to sensuous and loving union? What if they saw two human beings in real and deep connection, with open eyes seeing one another and open hearts feeling one another. What if they actually glimpsed what it looks like when lovers are seeing the divine in one another …

And how would it be to show our young people the connections between sexuality and nature…to show that sex is natural; that it mirrors the gushing rivers and burning fires; the animal instinct. That some beautiful energies can flow between two bodies, an experience of deep aliveness…what if we let them know that?

How useful would it be to understand a little of creating safe space? Of boundaries…ever-shifting yet hugely important. Of “yes’s” and “no’s” and even options such as “can we just stop and hold each other?” And imagine if young people were taught to find their inner truth, their inner knowing…and learn to trust that. So they are no longer susceptible to the suggestion of every Tom, Dick and Harry, but able instead to look within and find what is right for them in each fresh new moment. Imagine if someone showed them that!

Because then even the adults could relax a bit. Instead of trying desperately to shield their young from sexuality, working against a natural explosion of hormones, parents could rest a little knowing that their children were actually equipped to enter the world of sexuality with the empowerment they need to begin such an epic journey. Not only that, but they might actually have some of the  communication skills to discuss it with their parents. The right education would also create the open-minded atmosphere in which teenagers sexual experiences are not all secretive and hidden from fear of being caught.

Many people seek out tantra in their thirties and forties. But why wait? Imagine what a difference it could make if teenagers were initiated into Tantra. Then perhaps I’d be sat on a plane with a load of youthful beings off to seek connection to nature, learn to open their hearts and discover the joys of being a sexual and alive being.

Original Posting at Shashi Solluna

Divine Marriage — kundalini and tantra

Throughout the annals of mythology and spirituality, the devi – Kunti – (the Yin/Shakti opposite Yang/Shiva) has taken many forms and faces; some of these are translated accurately, others are not. Many have become owned (over time) by some cannonisation, doctrine .. or set of dogmatic rules.

Wholeness and the first separation

At the deepest and most primordial, Yin and Yang .. deva and devi are the first separation but, they are never separate. In Hindi, she is Shakti, he is Shiva

deva : d’e’v’a is the primordial masculine principle; an essence or principle, originally; ‘a bright or shining one’ from *div– to shine; the “sign” or “omen” of the energy which pervades; bestowing, producing or imparting; as with hot fire or passion from “above” (as in Heavenly); sometimes seen as a “gift” with the concept of going inward, within or in; the life in-breath; as an aspect of Brahma

devi : dh’e’v’i is the primordial feminine principle; placement or holding; potential to go beyond or transcend; consciousness potential as in “hidden” or “the inner self” with wonder, awe; the energy which pervades ; bestowing, producing or imparting; as with cold fire or passion of receptivity; that which has the potential to ‘learn’ or evolve as the essence of compassion with the power to obtain or become something else

Yoga, itself, is the UNION of the deva and the devi — masculine and feminine — Yin and Yang — Shiva and Shakti

The Tibetans go one step further; they call it Tantra – describing it as the warp and weft of the cloth as in the “sacred” weaving

akin to Christianity’s “Divine Marriage” of the Heavenly Bride (Yin, the devi) and Bridegroom (Yang, the deva) .. for it is written:

Tao gave birth to One;
One gave birth to Two;
Two gave birth to Three;
Three gave birth to the ten thousand things.
The ten thousand things carry Yin and embrace Yang
The two primordial breaths blend and produce harmony.

The Tao or “The Way of All Things” is a flow, an inter-penetration, an omniscience and an omnipotence and a homeostasis of both masculine and feminine, positive and negative principles

7000 years of Kundalini and the divine marriage

The elements of the Force and the Field were inscribed on a tortise shell 5000 or so years ago; “k’un” is of the earth; the feminine; the energy of life.

Hindu’s derived the name Cunti/Kundi and all its variations that have formed the roots of Country, Kind and Kildare; Kundalini as it is propogated by the purveyors of “authentic Western Guru’s” is nothing more than a thought-form (Tulpa) far removed from the Sanskrit roots of the word.

But then, the Primordial Feminine the first separation from the void is something that the conscious mind cannot manipulate or control for the simple reason that this one bit computer is nothing more than the product of one’s dis-eased feminine .. a feminine that is separated from the Void.

The Divine Marriage — cross culturally

The feminine is the field in the pairing of the force and the field; she is sometimes represented as ‘of the manifestation‘ … ‘of the earth‘. In the Christian prayer, we find “Thy Will be done in Earth as it is in Heaven“.

To most, she is mysterious, deep, dark sultry ..

She is Serena (from the Latin serene) unagitated; without losing self-possession; calm; tranquil; fertile; she was a ‘Golden Hind‘ (female deer) in ‘Hercules: The Legendary Journeys

She is also Tara, the devi Hindu Mahavidya, the saving aspect of the Goddess who in Buddhist terms is the female deity (devi) representing enlightened activity and fearlessness.

In Polynesian Mythology, she is the ‘sea goddess’; the ruler of the element of water.

But, she is also Diana the virgin, the equivalent of the Greek Artemis born with her twin brother Apollo.

And so, before it was corrupted, we have the story of the Virgin Mary — so much a parallel to the story of Kunti in the Mahabaratra

She is Ishtar .. the Assyrian and Babylonian counterpart to the Sumerian Inanna and to the cognate northwest Semitic goddess Astarte

Divine mysteries of Islam

Before Muhammad brought the religion of Islam to Arabia, the Arabs polytheistic (many gods) people. Hindu merchants frequently passed through Makkah, (now Mekka) a major trading hub.

Ancient Indian Vedic texts refer to Makkah as a place where Alla the Mother Goddess was worshiped. In Sanskrit, Alla means “mother.”

This name was connected to the Hindu Goddess Ila. She was the consort of the Hindu God Sivain his form known as Il, and this form of Siva was known and worshiped in pre-Islamic Makkah. A great deal of cultural and spiritual interchange took place between the merchants of Makkah and India.

Rumi (1207 – 1273) writes:

“Woman is the radiance of God; she is not your beloved.
She is the Creator—you could say that she is not created.”

So, once again, we have a whore word .. Alla as the divine feminine, the “moon”, the goddess of Fertility, the symbol of womanhood .. transliterated from Ancient Aramaic as “sin“. Moon was worshipped in its threefold existence – waxing, (maiden), full (pregnant mother) and waning (old wise woman). The Virgin was the New Moon.

Muyiddin ibn al- ′Arabî (born 1165) wrote,

“To know woman is to know oneself,
Whoso knoweth his self, knoweth his Lord”

.. and,

“man′s supreme witnessing of Allâh
is in the form of the woman during
the act of sexual union ..”

In the Kabbalah, just below the first Sphere (sefirah) of divine emanation known as Keter(crown; summit; pinnacle), lie the two roots of masculine and feminine, known as Hokhmah andBinah.

Binah is the Kabbalistic feminine symbol for Understanding, a prelude to wisdom. “Binah, the Great Mother, sometimes also called Marah, the Great Sea, is, of course, the Mother of All Living. She is the archetypal womb through which life comes into manifestation.”

Fatima

Fatima (the daughter of the Prophet Muhammad) was considered to come from the level of angels. She is considered by many Muslims as divine in origin and several variations of a major hadith describe how she was conceived on the night of Mi′râj (ascension).

On this night Gabriel took Muhammad to Jerusalem and then to Heaven. While up in Heaven, he was offered some heavenly fruit, the seed of which was responsible for her conception, after the Prophet′s return on the same night and making love to his beloved wife Khadija.

Mohammad, in referring to Fatima as “The Mother of her Father”, understood that his gnosis was bestowed upon him from the Divine Feminine. Fatima’s own words,

“There is no God beside me, neither in divinity nor humanity, neither in the Heavens nor on earth, outside of me, who am Fatima – Creator.”

and what would all of this mean to a Rule whose sole purpose was the control and manipulation of all of its people through the establishment of a Patriarchal “God” — of course, you’d have to be born of original sin.

Isis and the Throne

Isis is the Greek form of more ancient names (Aset or Eset), and the name Isis is represented in hieroglyphics with a picture of a “throne”.

The throne represented the Feminine power of the Goddess, and the King when he ascends the throne, is actually drawing power from the throne upon which he sits.

The Wedding

To the pre-Christian Irish, water was the source of all life. Eire, after whom the country was named, was the superior Goddess of water and fertility, the island of Ireland being the body of the goddess. The Irish language has no word for the coronation of a king. This is because Irish kings were not crowned; they were married to the goddess in a ceremony called An Bainais – the wedding.

Therefore, we see the Divine Feminine, as the Source of Life, being expressed first by the means that humans may understand the Divine Feminine, in other words, Wisdom, being a feminine word, second, by the most holy names which express in a universal way (spanning cultures as varied as Egyptian, Hittitie and Celtic) that the Source of Life is the Divine Feminine.

Rumi again writes ..

“On Resurrection Day, the sun and moon are released from service:
and the eye beholds the Source of their radiance,
then it discerns the permanent possession from the loan,
and this passing caravan from the abiding home.
If for a while a wet nurse is needed,
Mother, return us to your breast.
I don′t want a nurse; my Mother is more fair.
I am like Moses whose nurse and Mother were the same.

Tantra

The basic tenet of Tantrism is that matter, and therefore the body, is also a manifestation of Sakti power, that is, the power emanating from the feminine aspect of Divine Reality. In the domain of the spiritual life, the same term Sakti signifies the devi that allows one to enter into contact with Enlightenment.

She is both the key and the mystery;
who can be decoded only through Muladhara …

The child is Brahma; the Goddess is Dakini

Muladhara bears the Sanskrit letters va, scha, sha, and sa and the seed sound in the centre is lam

I am … the mother of my father and the daughter of my son

Original Posting (No Longer Available)

Tantric Therapy for Celiac Disease, Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Fibromyalgia – By Duncan Knight

For 20-years I have been working with women of all ages.  Commonly, women have been referred to me for help with severe premenstrual syndromes, psoriasis, arthritis, fatigue, headaches, allergies, and  adolescent and adult acne.

More and more, the women I work with have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Celiac Disease.

In the late 80’s and 90’s Fibromyalgia was commonly reported, in the 90’s Irritable Bowel Syndrome and in the past decade Celiac Disease has become common.

I have successfully treated and even cured many cases with Tantric Therapy.

Like with any sensible approach, Tantric Therapy is not the cure all.  However, the holistic nature of Tantric Therapy is the key to the successful treatment of these problems or imbalances.  There is a connection between these problems and imbalances and sexuality.

Tantric Therapy’s approach to Celiac Disease, Irritable Bowel Syndrome Fibromyalgia is genuinely holistic and involves a psycho/spiritual/sexual/dietary/cleansing strategy.

“At around 20-years old I was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome, at 30-years old with Celiac Disease, I felt like an old woman.  I didn’t date and could barely complete a class in school without having to run to the bathroom. Duncan changed my life…”

Psycho/Spiritual/Sexual (2-3 Two Hour Sessions)

With any illness, healing is only achieved when emotional components are addressed.  Treating the physical aspects; doesn’t heal it only treats a symptomatic part.  I have found that there is often a psycho/spiritual/sexual somatic connection with these problems and imbalances. Stomach problems along with muscle and connective tissue stiffening are commonly associated with psycho/spiritual/sexual imbalances.  At a bare minimum these symptoms have undisputed emotional, spiritual, sexual or psychological stresses associated with them.

Tantric Therapy addresses all of these.  Sessions start with a minimum of two to three psycho/spiritual counseling sessions, followed by a series of five to seven bodywork sessions. Bodywork also has a profound psycho/spiritual/sexual somatic connection. In Tantra, there is a premise that emotional/spiritual trauma or stress also stored physically in your body.

Tantric Bodywork (5-7 Four Hour Sessions)

Tantric Bodywork begins with breathing and meditation. In Tantric Therapy, therapeutic intimacy plays a major role. Emotional and spiritual barriers are minimized or removed and the connection with one’s self if emphasized.  The Tantric Bodywork sessions are specialized for the treatment of Celiac Disease, Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Fibromyalgia; however are very similar to my introduction sessions. The sessions are very slow and intentional; and involve massage of every area of the body.

In many of my advanced Tantric Therapy sessions; I often include stretches and/or body poses. However, this is required for this Tantric Therapy modality.

There is also a greater emphasis placed on the stomach or colonic massage. This stomach massage follows the path of the colon and focuses on assisting and spiritual opening the flow of the colon. This massage is conducted in multiple different positions on the table.  Gentile pressure is placed near the lowest right side of the stomach just inside the hip bone and then a small counter clock-wise circular movement begins.  Then the gentile circular massage works it’s way up under the right side of the ribcage and then across and down the left quadrant of the stomach leader to the left hip bone and toward the pubic bone.  This is repeated several times in several positions.

The next steps are a series of colonic enemas. This is an essential part of the therapy and is often a reason why many people do not seek this therapy. I have used colonic enemas for 20-years to treat more than Celiac Disease, Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Fibromyalgia.  I have seen profound improvements in women with severe premenstrual syndromes, psoriasis, arthritis, fatigue, headaches, allergies, and  even acne after being treated with a series of colonic enemas.

The most interesting note I have made over the years is that clients that administered their own enemas or sought colon hydrotherapy elsewhere did not have the same effects as when I administered them in during a Tantric Therapy session. In fact, nearly all of my clients reported absolutely no effect.

The enemas are administered 2-3 times during the session and in different positions and of course require several private trips to the bathroom and returns to the table. It is not uncommon for a dozen trips to the bathroom during a four hours session.I have made over the years is that clients that administered their own enemas or sought colon hydrotherapy elsewhere did not have the same effects as when I administered them in during a Tantric Therapy session. In fact, nearly all of my clients reported absolutely no effect.

The enemas are not painful; and subsequent sessions can be found to be very pleasant.

After the second or third enema; a natural suppository is administered consisting of coconut oil, vitamin E and palm oils. This is always received as being very pleasant and soothing.

The session resumes with a full body massage and optional yoni massage.

Clients are offered a shower and every sessions concludes with reflective counseling and meditation.

Medication and Vitamins

Also, I begin each session with the recommendation and offering 3mg of natural melatonin and tryptophan tablets. (not for sleep)

I also encourage clients to consider the benefits of their current medications and supplements. I strongly encourage women to discontinue the use of birth control pills and all pain medications.

 Preparation (2-3 days and 2-Hours before a Session)

    • Abstain from eating  2-hours before a session and eat lightly the day before
    • Drink 4-6 glasses of water every day upon waking 2-3 days before your session.
    • Drink 2.5-3 liters of water daily or increase your water intake
    • Abstain from wheat and dairy 2-3 days before the session.
    • Abstain from all caffeine, processes foods, alcohol, sugar, and bread 2-3 days before your session.
    • Eat lots of fresh vegetables, a little fruit and small amounts of light/white meat or Tofu.
    • Abstain from red meat 2-3 days in advance of your session.

After a Session

    • Drink 2.5-3 liters of water for 2-3 days after your session; and consider keeping the regiment.
    • Avoid raw vegetables for 4-6 hours.
    • Avoid heavy meat consumption for 2-3 days.
    • Avoid strenuous exercise for 24-hours.
    • Drink an electrolyte drink
    • Consider starting a probiotic
    • Repeat a Tantric Therapy Session in One or Two Weeks.

Dietary Regiment

Consider following the recommendations of a gluten-free diet.  Most of my clients find that after repeated Tantric Therapy Sessions they can be on their own preferred diets. However, consider eliminating foods with preservatives, modified foot starch and stabilizers made with wheat. Organic is not always the best.  Also consider that products other than food that are ingested by your body; such as make-up and hygiene products.

Clients have come from all of the United States, two other continents to either receive this treatment and learn how to administer the treatment.  After years of working with my clients and other practitioners; this treatment stands as a very effective treatment for Celiacs, Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Fibromyalgia.

For more information, please contact me anytime.

Original Posting

If you want to change the world love a man…

If you want to change the world love a man; really love him
Choose the one whose soul calls to yours clearly who sees you; who is brave enough to be afraid
Accept his hand and guide him gently to your hearts blood
Where he can feel your warmth upon him and rest there
And burn his heavy load in your fires
Look into his eyes look deep within and see what lies dormant or awake or shy or expectant there
Look into his eyes and see there his fathers and grandfathers and all the wars and madness their spirits fought in some distant land, some distant time

Look upon their pains and struggles and torments and guilt; without judgment
And let it all go
Feel into his ancestral burden
And know that what he seeks is safe refuge in you
Let him melt in your steady gaze
And know that you need not mirror that rage
Because you have a womb, a sweet, deep gateway to wash and renew old wounds

If you want to change the world love a man, really love him
Sit before him, in the full majesty of your woman in the breath of your vulnerability
In the play of your child innocence in the depths of your death
Flowering invitation, softly yielding, allowing his power as a man
To step forward towards you…and swim in the Earth’s womb, in silent knowing, together
And when he retreats…because he will…flees in fear to his cave…
Gather your grandmothers around you…envelope in their wisdoms
Hear their gentle shusshhhed whispers, calm your frightened girls’ heart
Urging you to be still…and wait patiently for his return
Sit and sing by his door, a song of remembrance, that he may be soothed, once more

If you want to change the world, love a man, really love him
Do not coax out his little boy
With guiles and wiles and seduction and trickery
Only to lure him…to a web of destruction
To a place of chaos and hatred
More terrible than any war fought by his brothers
This is not feminine this is revenge
This is the poison of the twisted lines
Of the abuse of the ages, the rape of our world
And this gives no power to woman it reduces her as she cuts off his balls
And it kills us all
And whether his mother held him or could not
Show him the true mother now
Hold him and guide him in your grace and your depth
Smoldering in the center of the Earth’s core
Do not punish him for his wounds that you think don’t meet your needs or criteria
Cry for him sweet rivers
Bleed it all back home

If you want to change the world love a man, really love him
Love him enough to be naked and free
Love him enough to open your body and soul to the cycle of birth and of death
And thank him for the opportunity
As you dance together through the raging winds and silent woods
Be brave enough to be fragile and let him drink in the soft, heady petals of your being
Let him know he can hold you stand up and protect you
Fall back into his arms and trust him to catch you
Even if you’ve been dropped a thousand times before
Teach him how to surrender by surrendering yourself
And merge into the sweet nothing, of this worlds’ heart

If you want to change the world, love a man, really love him
Encourage him, feed him, allow him, hear him, hold him, heal him
And you, in turn, will be nourished and supported and protected
By strong arms and clear thoughts and focused arrows
Because he can, if you let him, be all that you dream

If you want to love a man, love yourself, love your father
Love your brother, your son, your ex-partner; from the first boy you kissed,
To the last one you wept over
Give thanks for the gifts; of your unraveling to this meeting
Of the one who stands before you now
And find in him the seed to all that’s new and solar
A seed that you can feed to help direct the planting
To grow a new world, together
~Anonymous~

Sarah Pipalini laid by 10,000 Men!

Three nuns were driving down the road one afternoon. One was beautiful, young and new to the convent life. She enjoyed modern culture but knew that her life calling was one of service. She loved the Lord and wanted to do his work. The other was a middle aged woman, she had seen much suffering and many blessings manifest. She too devoted her life to service and the work of God. The oldest nun had been with the church for her entire life. She had been raised by the Sisters.  She was a woman who decided to dedicate her life to serving all other living beings, and to not be part of mainstream society but instead live her life in prayer and contemplation. 

 
The 3 Sisters were chatting away as they drove to their destination when without any warning were struck by a truck who had run a red light. The car spun around and hit a lamp post which centered itself in the middle of their car. Sadly these three blessed women now found themselves standing at the gates of heaven before St. Peter himself. Relieved that they had arrived and knowing that they were saved they greeted him with smiles and joy. St. Peter, said welcome Sisters. I have fantastic news for you. the Lord is so happy with all the service, unconditional love and sacrifice that you have made in your life that he has decided to let you go back and experience life again, however this time you may choose who you want to be. the nuns became excited at the thought.
 
St. Peter looked at the youngest sister and asked, “Sweet sister, whom would you like to incarnate as?”
 
“Britney Spears.” she replied.
 
Poof! She was now living  life as the pop star.
 
He then turned to the middle aged Sister, “And whom do you choose?”
 
 
Smiling St. Peter said of course, the sexiest woman ever. As you wish Sister and within a second she was was Marilyn.
 
He then turned to the wise eldest Sister and asked her the same question. Without hesitation she said, “Sarah Pipalini.”
St. Peter looked bewildered. He did not know who this was. He looked in his book but she was not there. then he decided to call on head of records. 
 
“I need you to find me Sarah Pipalini right away.”
 
Unfortunately, there was no record of her. He turned to the Sister and said that he was sorry. The old nun stuck her hand in her pocket, dug around some, and then pulled out a folded, very old and weathered paper clipping. Opening it carefully, she said, “No, no. You see right here, Sarah Pipalini.” St. Peter took the clipping and read it. 
Sweet Sister, this says, Sahara Pipeline Laid by 10,000 Men.”
 
This joke shares a depth of the sickness of humanity as well as the wisdom of the spirit. We wonder why so many young people in society become extremely promiscuous, or why when a couple divorces that one or both parties hunt for what appears like empty sex to extremes. We look into the eyes of our beloved on the day that  we are uniting in marriage and we speak our vows of love and unconditional support and then find ourselves years down the road desiring intimacy, passion, connection and the feeling of excitement that only comes to us when we make love for the first time with a new partner. This desire in many cases leads us to temptation, which in many traditional beliefs is evil. We have raised a society where desire is wrong. We have locked our sexuality up in the towers of our internal being where we do not dare share it or speak of it, because this would be looked down upon by the heavens. We  enforce many of our religious leaders to abstain for years or an entire lifetime, assuming that through this sacrifice they will be more elevated, closer to God and able to guide their sheep in the ways of the Lord. Should one fall prey to desire and become human again we practically burn them at the stake. We anger at their inability to not lust after our youth yet we torment them each day with our sexy tales of loss of control.
 
We live in a world where a person who has been intimate with more then 10 people is considered to be a whore, a tramp, a slut. Yet we secretly long for the experience ourselves. Jealousy speaks out as judgement. We gossip to our friends and neighbors about what others are doing and do not even stop to realize that our words are potentially more harmful then being penetrated by a rapist. We lounge in our judgments and then sneak inside the safety of our homes to catch up on the newest porn videos on the web. We tease and joke about sex, never seriously giving it the respect that it deserves, yet we tell our children that they need to be responsible and wait till they get married. We deliberately go out drinking in hopes of getting lucky, but discover one of two things: 1) we never find someone to hook up with and wonder what is wrong with us?  2) we hook up, get our orgasmic release and then see everything that is wrong with the person we are with. If we are men, we speak grandly about our sexual adventures, often making them out to be better and more then they really are. If we are women, we try to not speak to much of our desires or adventures, as to not be seen as a whore. If we have been intimate with more then what we feel society approves of we reduce the number as to fit in with our peers, not realizing that they have done the same.
 
“In our society sex is wounded by a deep-seated masochism, which finds distorted satisfaction in the suppression of desire. This masochism is a symptomatic and destructive form of surrender. Instead of giving in to our passions, allowing emotion to course through our bodies and psyches, and generously offering ourselves to intimacy, we surrender our joy in life to any authority we can find, and we find many authorities willing to condemn us for our longings and pleasures.”– Thomas Moore, The Soul of Sex
 
So according to traditional belief, desire is the root of this evil called sexuality.
Desire is to blame for all the wrong doing. The taking and the raping. Desire is the reason why we cheat on our lovers. Desire is the reason why we break our covenants. Desire is not to be followed, it is a force from Satan. Yet, if there is no desire, there is no happiness. Period. There is also not much else left in the world. No matter what age or gender you are, you cannot even move a finger without first having a desire. And desire is always in wanting to receive something.
Want to argue this fact with me?
You work because you have a desire for money, success, peace of mind, prosperity or a new back patio.
You eat because you have a desire to stay alive, or to experience the pleasure of eating something new or delicious.
You compete in sports to fulfill a desire to experience  the thrill and victory of achievement.
You go on holiday to fulfill the desire to relax and break up your routine or create a memorable experience.
You enter into romantic relationships because you desire to experience love.
You watch TV and go to the movies to fulfill your desire to be entertained and experience enjoyment.
You pray because you desire help or healing.
You go to church because you desire to be saved and to live in heaven.
And we engage in sex to fulfill our desire for sexual pleasure. And if we have experienced soulful sex, then we often engage in sex to manifest our dreams, connect at a soul level, to heal, and to communicate with God.
 
I believe that even a blind person could see clearly that desire is the key to happiness!
 
Its very simple, because God (the Light) is infinite, every kind of joy, happiness and blessing is contained within the Creator. The only thing required to activate all this happiness is DESIRE. When a desire is fulfilled, happiness is expressed in that moment.
 
Why do we condemn such beauty? Creativity, Happiness and Power? — Fear
 
And lack of spiritual understanding.
 
But if we listen and surrender to this fear and refuse to expand our knowledge, then we will end up with only a fraction of self-possession purchased at the cost of our very life’s bliss and purpose. We will in all actuality find ourselves living a life of desperation, with a scarcity mentality over-loaded with more worry and ultimately secretly desiring but still denying all of God’s beauty.
 
“Knowledge without transformation is not wisdom.” — Paulo Coelho, Brida
 
Sex is a direct connect to life. To God. Ancient Tantric or Taoist practices as well as those practiced in Egypt and other parts of the world knew of the true power of creation that ONLY stemmed from the union of lovers. At the heart of sex is bedded a most profound affirmation of life, providing us with reason for living, for being optimistic, and for having energetic passion. Sex keeps us connected to our deepest essence, and links us to our inception. It also gifts us with the ability to realize our full potential and touch spiritual enlightenment.
 
Through our many soul phases we advance in our understanding of this beautiful gift from the heavens. We learn to devour the moments of rapture and to open ourselves in total trust to our lovers yes, but even more so to ourselves. We dance in the joy of being truly seen, we stop setting up limitations of our inner sexual muses and nymphs and in turn open the gateways to pleasure. In a society where love is open and unconditional, sex is respected and the parties involved honor one another from a soul level first. They honor and have the wisdom to do this through subtle energy connections, then through the reverence and adornment of the physical, they know that sharing true love in their sexing means that they respect each other and themselves through permissions and boundary setting. They laugh at their humanness and welcome the inner child to come out and play. They understand that sexual union is an alchemical act and they cherish not abuse the power of it.
 
The great healing of our world and of humanity will gain great strides when men and women make the conscious decision to LIVE their earthly reality instead of their doctrines and ideals.
 
Will you bask in your sexing and manifest a future of happiness that the Creator will be proud of?
Or will you continue to succumb to societal illusions?