Coming Together in the Wound

COMING TOGETHER IN THE WOUND…

OR TOGETHER IN THE HEALING…

We meet our mirrors at different points in time on our life journey.
We are intrigued, even aroused by these meetings.
We sometimes catch the feels,
And get committed.
And often this is the exact case that creates a defined relationship in today’s society.
Two people living thier own life experiences,
Meeting and connecting from thier wounded selves. From a space of feeling broken, fearful, unworthy and incomplete.
And they find themselves drawn into another who is just this as well.
They find this other lost soul who has all these similarities and hopes.
They share thier pain, thier saga and desire to have something more.
And so like magnets they connect.
They feel supported feeding each other the understanding and love that they crave.
They feel seen, heard and like thier mate gets them.
And they do.
Because both are operating from the wound.

Time passes,
The wound remains to a degree for both,
It gets triggered here and there,
Bringing doubt and fear into the hearts of the couple.
But they come together and assure each other that they are there.

And then it happens…
One of them starts to feel better.
Stops masking thier pain,
Stops hiding in thier guilt and suffering and chooses to open up again.
Chooses to breathe life in again.
Choose to heal,
To grow and become whole yet again.
And when this happens thier mate is provided an opportunity to do the same or to burrow themselves into more sadness.
More frustration and fear.
And thus end the relationship.
Because you see when one grows and heals and the other does not then it is the destiny of the relationship to end.

Growth and healing increases your vibration.
It will have you feeling full, in love with life, good about yourself and have you desiring for more in all of your life.

When vibrations increase for one partner but the other does not match vibration any longer then the two will start to experience challenges in connection, understanding each other, there will become an irritation between them like sandpaper and unless one of them does something to change thier frequency then its inevitable that they will split.

Now granted the one who started to grow, heal, transform certainly could hault thier opening. They could work on shrinking themselves again, and grow slower but typically even though this is a possibility it rarely happens because the momentum of growth becomes intoxicating and neither party want a shrinkage to happen.

Even though it quickly becomes evident as to what will occur.

So obviously the best choice to maintain the relationship is for the other partner to take self- responsibility and lean into the scary land of transformation. But its tricky.
They have to lean in because they want the growth for self…
Not just to save the relationship,
Otherwise the vibration will become needy and cause even more irritation between the two.

You cannot lie about your vibration.
And you cannot manipulate your vibration.

On the other spectrum,
Coming together in healing…
Or in growing.

When we meet someone in this place,
Where we are each doing our work,
Learning to take responsibility for self, emotions and actions.
Leaning into our hearts and souls and catching the ego,
When we meet from a place of expansion we find ourselves again feeling deep connection, understanding, love and catching the feels for this other person who is meeting us where we are.

And it feels beautiful.
It feels supportive but not like the crutch of the wounded connection,
Instead supportive from a sense of freedom to be self and to be witnessed just as we are.
This sort of bonding,
As long as both parties continue to love self first, own thier emotions, thoughts and actions and keep leaning into thier individual expansions,
Then they together will connect deeper,
Be witnessed from a truly authentic level,
Experience a quickening in personal growth as well as a melding and accelerated joint growth and transformation which will with its individual vibrational increases also create a worm hole of momentum toward the couples unity.

Here a couple can experience the highest of relationship connectedness in vulnerability, intimacy and authentic unconditional love.

They will be able to cross through challenging waters together because they both built strong individual boats first and are sailing the choppy seas of life side by side, supporting each other but not trying to glue thier boats together in need which only creates instability and weakness in self and relationship.

True mature loving relationship understand and value self and growth first.
They choose to journey together because its a beautiful transformational path to share but they do not need someone by thier side to love the path they are on.
They do what they do because it feels good to them and for them,
Not because they aim to please anyone else.

Look at your relationships of today and yesterday,
Were they founded in the wound or in healing and growth?

What is your desire in your relationship story?
And how is the founding of your current expanding you or holding you back?

Time to get clear.
Time to be real.
Time to connect from strength.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

Reach out to me to discover how you can call in a high vibe relationship today.

I WILL FIND YOU.

 

I WILL FIND YOU.

 

As I lay under the starriest of starry nights,

my breath being captivated by the sight of shooting stars,

a crescent moon that I can relax into and my thoughts drift into galaxies unknown before me,

I hear the words….

 

“I will find you.”

 

A distance call from a time unknown,

a feeling of knowing that it is true,

A certainty that I am cradled in this moment by a love deeper than can be fathomed,

held at the breast of of the center of the universe,

and my breath erupts into a rolling gasm of ecstasy.

 

Each inhale carries me further into the brilliance of the night,

each inhale I can feel the earth beneath my body,

a pulse coming from her that is intimate, timeless and supportive.

 

Each exhale is a releasing of my self imposed limitations,

fears and constraints.

 

The exhale of my physical,

and the acceptance of soul.

 

“I will find you.”

 

A celebration of coming home.

A feeling of making love with the universe,

being penetrated by all of time.

 

My hunger for this deep surrender being met in the arms of my greatest lover,

my heart explodes from the revelation that is being offered,

as the night air wraps itself around me and the dewy grass beneath pulls in further,

asking to suckle on my flesh,

while the call of the wild in the distance beats its drum…

 

Calling me home.

Home where I am seen.

Where I am heard.

 

Where I am found.

 

The words are no longer something to be reminded of,

they are here,

in this moment in this wrinkle in time that I never want to let loose of again.

 

Here those words are no longer haunting to my soul,

but they are manifest.

 

I am found,

in the realization that I was never lost.

 

I have been in the arms of my lover since time began.

He has been cradling me,

witnessing my every move,

and hungering for me to awaken so I can see as he does the mysteries around me,

and feel the heartbeat of the earth,

a pulse that carries me away from the static and chaos of the normalcy of the world that is living in fear of being found.

 

Has it always been right here?

Just outside the grasp that I thought that I had.

Beside me,

watching me dance when I thought I was stumbling in the darkness,

but could not see the mystery.

 

” I will find you.”

 

I hear these words calling from the distance of the furthest star in the nights sky,

comets streak the sky,

carrying with them a timeless saga of our souls code,

the sparks of life that transpire and we never notice,

the moments that we take for granted,

allow to go unseen,

and disregard with little to no respect for the magic that makes up our lives.

We are all angels,

fallen and wounded by the tragedies of our past lives unlived,

and we remain broken winged until we choose to breathe in the mysteries of this universe, the magic that can heal us and carry us back to where we know we are to be,

back home.

 

Where we can each be seen in our magnitude,

our voices can be heard singing from the furthest galaxies unknown and known,

and our vision is pure,

because we are found.

We are in our power.

Our wings are open and expanded just as is our breath.

 

The only thing that stands between here,

And where we are each witnessed in our greatest beauty, joy and bliss,

is the illusion that we are not worthy.

 

And to discover our worthiness we must open ourselves to being penetrated by our greatest lover,

we must be willing to expand,

to evolve.

To let go of the constrictive programs and thoughts that chain us to the ground,

we must be willing to put down the fight,

to stop waring within ourselves,

and be willing to know who we are.

Truly who we each are.

Without hesitation or doubt.

 

We must follow that call,

 

” I will find you.”

 

And know that time and space do not exist.

We are eternal,

as is the call that we hear from the distance.

 

It is forever calling us home,

home to where we have no doubt.

No fear or limitations.

 

Asking us to let loose of the chains that we carry so that we can feel the expansion and expression of our worthiness here in this lifetime,

in this fleshy existence that allows us to be enwrapped in a lovers arms,

permits us the opportunity to taste of the wonders and beauty that only human life can offer,

but few slow down to embrace and enjoy.

 

I choose differently.

I choose to open,

here on this dewy grass under the stariest of starry night skies,

with the night breeze dancing through the leaves of trees,

the call of the wild in the distance making itself known.

 

Here I lay,

taken back by the magic,

the orgasmic rush of the earth’s pulse moving through my veins,

with every inhale I feel the depth of the penetration,

my back arches as though there is string coming from my breast and pulling me up to heaven’s gate,

my body rolls and moves to the instrumental vibrations of hearts meeting in the cosmos,

my eye’s roll back and take in the sky from a different perspective,

and I exhale….

 

Releasing into the current.

Letting go of time and space.

 

And allow myself to be taken home.

 

The words that I am reminded of are no more a reminder,

they are here.

 

I am here.

In the arms of my greatest lover.

And he takes me.

 

As I exhale deeper…

 

Deeper.

 

Deeper I am carried.

 

And I am found.

 

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Discover who you are.

Start searching for the life that is before you.

It is time to know your worth and live it.

Claim your life today.

Enter Sensual Surrender For Your Magical Expereince.

I WAS FLOATING IN A SEA OF SENSATION.
 
There I was,
our flesh touching.
The water lapping around my breasts and shoulders.
I was breathing the moment and all the feeling of floating into my being.
Taking it in,
devouring it.
feeling as though the universe was asking for me to open even more and allow the deep penetration of my soul to occur.
 
There he was,
resting next to me, his hand on my thigh.
I could feel his breathing as it caused ripples in the water.
His body was smooth and his desire was present.
 
There he was,
on my other side,
breathing in the wind.
His arm touching mine,
soft and smooth.
 
And the water washed over all of us.
The wind in the trees before us was dancing and asking for our surrender.
 
My desire was to touch,
to exchange breath,
to become entwined.
 
I wanted to allow myself to be seen and felt with both of them,
I wanted to feel thier hands caressing me.
I wanted to touch and let my love be felt through the sensaul stroking and playing of our skins enveloping each other.
 
I wanted to feel.
Feel past this phyiscal state of being.
Feel through the emotions,
the fears and the concern.
I wanted to penetrate life by embodying this moment fully and dropping deeper into surrender.
 
 
My hunger was present,
a ravonous beast rumbling within my groin,
within my heart my soul rattled in the cage it felt placed about it.
I breathed.
Breathed into this container known as my physical body and asked my chest to relax,
I asked my soul what it was desiring to achieve from such a state of vulnerability and desire?
 
And my heart leaped,
it called out to the winds,
it wanted to dance naked in the moon light,
it wanted to swing in the hammuc and howl at the moon.
It wanted to be taken.
Taken into the galaxies and be blasted from every startling.
It wanted to be shed of its chains,
its fears and its silly conditions.
It wanted to defy society and relationship labeling.
It wanted to love.
 
It wanted to love fully and authentically.
and it wanted to tap back into that space,
that yummy space that it had known once before and SURRENDER to the call of this wild woman that wanted to open her wings.
Her legs.
Her heart.
Her vessel.
 
My soul knew as it knows today in this moment the power that can transend from moments of bliss,
moments of utter transendence.
It knows that when you can come together with another,
when you can drop into truth without fear or need to control,
when you can access love,
that you hold all the power.
 
That here in this space you are the key master.
And all one ever needs to do is choose a door.
 
This space I speak of is not found in sex.
It is not found in meditation nor prayer.
It is not found in work or what we might refer to as purpose.
It is not found in any relationship or nutritional plan.
It is not found in text books or doctrin.
 
This place I speak of is ONLY discovered through the greatness of your ability to soften and let the universe take you.
In the sensualness that moves through you at times like this,
no matter what the act that you might be performing,
you are moving with the magical essence and flow of the divine.
 
Here from this state of embodiment you are using all your senses.
You are not trapped prisioner to your thoughts,
not holding your emotions out of fear,
you are not touching or acting from a state of control or even desire,
you are just being.
Fully.
 
This is the expanded expression of the human expereince.
This is what we are meant to explore.
 
But we bunker down,
we armour up,
we hide and we fear.
 
In our hiding and fearing we feel loss and suffering.
We gain the illionary belief that we own one another and that we are to remain small.
We buy into the concepts of not enough and control.
ANd we search for purpose,
he hunt for joy and connection,
and we do it all with limited connection to self.
We come into our life moments with with zero to no understanding of self and we lay blame to all those we dance with for the way that we feel.
 
We hide our hearts out of fear of getting hurt,
we shut down our voices and our expressions as to not damage anyone else.
We lift up th eheavy shileds in hope that we can prevent future wounding….
 
And we feel EMPTY.
We feel lost.
Undesired,
disconnected.
And we question why?
Why can I never be happy?
Why do I always end up right back here?
 
It is the shield.
That armour that you carry.
The weight of fear and judgement.
The sword of control.
Those are what keeps you from receiving all that you want for.
Those are the demons that you bare.
 
Soft and subtle.
Fluid and entwined.
The sensaulness of a soul surrendered,
a heart opened and body unburrdened.
 
Here is your bliss.
Here is your power.
Here is the naked truth.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Join me for Tantric Sex Magick LIVE workshop in Plano Texas where you will learn the secrets to manifesting through the power of your sex.
Not local?
Can’t make the class?
Want to explore abundance training and the power of your sex?
Reach out to me for global opportunities to learn more now.

Hi, I Am Kendal’s P-ssy and THIS Is My Tale.

Hi, I am Kendal’s P-ssy….

I have a story to share with you.

It is my personal tale of a p-ssies struggles and come back to love and orgasm.

 

When Kendal was a small girl,

she discovered me. She loved to explore me and learn all about me in the shower and it felt wonderful.

We were so bonded and comfortable with each other,

and as Kendal grew and became a young adult,

she could hear me speaking to her about everything that I felt was good for us. She listened to some of my words and sought to help me have some of my desires,

but then one day Kendaal met a young man that I absolutely adored.

This young man knew how to treat Kendal.

He looked at her with eye full of love,

he touched her skin with the same adoration.

And months down the road she allowed him to touch me too.

 

It was an exciting day.

I can still feel those first touches.

I had never been seen by a boy before like this,

I had never been allowed to be touched by anyone other than Kendal until now,

and here he was.

 

Loving on me.

Delicately.

Focused.

and passionate.

 

I grew so hungry for the boy to do more than just touch me,

but he was respecting Kendal and wanted to move slowly.

And let me tell you,

He moved slowly.

It took him a year to finally make sweet love to us,

and when he did,

He remained in us for hours.

Rubbing, touching, kissing and sucking.

It was a loving moment and I felt so free and open.

I never wanted to part ways with this young man,

and Kendal was so happy,

so full of sexual light.

And confidence.

They shared dreams and ideas of the future,

talked as though thousands of years would go by with them together.

 

I was so excited about the endless possibilities of what they were discussing.

 

But one day,

the boy changed his mind.

He decided that he needed to venture out into the world without us. He kissed Kendal goodbye after lunch and vanished without a word.

 

Kendal cried for months,

she felt so lost and in agony over this relationship.

She became upset with me too in the process and blamed me for the pain that her heart was feeling.

So she distanced herself from me,

she did not touch me.

She did not want to have anyone else touch me.

She felt trapped in her surroundings and lost at her core.

 

A few months went by and all she could think of was escaping the world that she was existing in.

She met a man a decade older than her,

she could tell he had eyes for her and that is all that mattered.

She knew he was her ticket out of this mess that she was in.

And so she acted quickly and offered us up a tribute to the man,

she moaned and screamed, scratched and acted like I was enjoying it, acted like she was into it,

but I was not.

I felt saddened at her actions.

Before I knew it, the man had proposed  to her and she said yes,

I was lost at why she would do this when she did not have the feeling in her heart for him,

and I was not on board with the idea,

yet she said yes.

 

And years went by.

We had children,

and I kept being offered up for tribute,

to keep life normal and “happy” as she always said.

She believed that this is what adulting was about and that it just was.

She told us that the joy and love we shared with the boy so many years before was a fluke and that I needed to accept that we were not here to enjoy the sex anymore,

that we were here to have babies, make her husband happy and carry on.

 

And so I allowed her to use and abuse us.

But I shut myself down from the possibilities of pleasure,

I could not feel her heart anymore,

all I could feel was her anger and hatred.

 

Until, one day a man who was a friend of theirs started flirting with her. He grabbed her hand one afternoon and kissed her palm. I got excited.

I began to heat up and throb.

I was screaming,  “Do you feel that?”

I wanted her to recognize the look in this man’s eyes.

It was love.

And if she would stop waring with me she could feel the warmth of it at her core.

 

I was hopeful that this man could reconnect us.

And I pushed for her to do what she never thought possible,

go outside her marriage and tap back into me.

 

And she did.

And there were some fun adventures,

until that crazy mind of hers kicked back into the driver’s seat and told her to feel shame and guilt,

that her sex did not matter and that she was evil for venturing off and listening to me.

 

And so she locked us out again.

She blamed us for even more pain and loss in her life.

And we carried on being offered up as tribute to her husband for a decade more.

 

Over the years I went to work on other aspects of her,

trying to get them to side with me,

trying to get them to connect with me so that we could get her to listen to the fact that she was walking down the wrong path in her life and that the happiness that she craved and desired,

was never going to happen under these conditions of trauma.

And FINALLY I had a breakthrough with her intestines.

We devised a plan that would certainly cause her to pay attention….

 

One day while at an event with friends,

when she was laughing and masking her pain with alcohol we set our plan into action.

The intestines began to bleed everywhere!

She had white shorts on and was in a crowd of strangers and friends,

it was perfect.

She panicked.

She knew it was not me bleeding from her period,

and she knew it was serious.

It was a sobering moment for Kendal.

We had her attention.

And with some discovery she uncovered that she was now suffering from Crohn’s Disease.

 

She spent the next few years focusing on her body,

on her health, on her thoughts,

and even though she still ignored me,

she was on the right path to coming back into communication with me and after doing everything that she could to heal,

she came to the conclusion,  (thanks to me who made sure to kick Crohn’s into high gear after sex frequently) that there was alink between her sex, her p-ssy (me) and the disease.

 

And so she went back to her roots,

she went back to what the boy from so many years before had taught her,

to thier conversations about sex, body and soul.

And she realized that what she needed was sexual healing.

That all these years she had been living in her sexual shadow,

disconnected from who she really was and her desires,

disconnected from your intuition, her GPS (ME).

 

And one day she went to her husband and told him her discovery only to be told that she was crazy.

But, she was done with the pain and suffering.

She was done with feeling lost and moody.

She was done with pleasureless sex,

limited connection and not being happy in her life.

She was sick and tired of not living.

And she told her husband, “too bad, I am doing it anyway.”

 

And she did.

And it was amazing.

She started the very next week by connecting with a tantra coach, and she dug in deep quickly and did the emotional and psychological work that he offered her to remove the wounds and trauma and move past them, she did the physical release work to let the tension go from the body, and from me.

And she started to feel herself again.

She started to appreciate me again.

She started to love me again and feed me again with touch,

and then on day she decided that it was time to let me play some and she ventured out and found a man,

a man that looked at her the way that I like,

and she listened to me and they had beautiful intimate, healing moments,

and he opened her up to hearing me even more and feeling me more and deeper,

and from there she found more lovers for me,

and more,

and I felt loved and appreciated, full.

But all stories have some down points, right?

And so does mine.

 

One day Kendal did not listen like she should to me and she disregarded my screaming that we were in a bad situation,

and without notice a male client of hers attacked her in her office and forced himself on her,

and into us.

He had his way and she felt paraylzed in the moment during and directly following. He tossed $600 down on her limp body on the floor and said,

“Thank you for making me feel like a man.”

She wept and hid herself.

Blaming me again,

if I had not taken her down this path,

then perhaps this trauma would not have been,

she should have stayed safe,

but here she was.

And disconnected we were again.

It took her some time,

it took her some convincing from a few wonderful men that loved her deeply,

but she finally came back around and allowed me my voice again.

 

From there we have had many struggles in our communication,

we have made some wrong turns but we have many more right then wrong.

 

She has learned the value of my voice,

and when the old wounds sprout up from nowhere she sees them.

She desires to remain in connection with me,

and together we work at our loving relationship daily.

 

Today, I am happy with my journey.

I am happy with my life.

I feel the disconnect that her and I have,

as does she,

but our desire is the same.

To open and connect me fully back up to her heart where I belong,

so that we each can reap the wonderful rewards of pleasure and juicy intimacy again.

 

There have been so many moments through the years that Kendal and I have shared touching the big toe of God in our sex, feeling the bliss of an emotional orgasm as tears pour from her eye’s and I pulsate and vibrate in rapture, and swallowing up our lover to the depth of the earths core.

 

These moments are what I crave as a p-ssy.

These moments are only possible when I am connected to her heart,

and feel that she loves me and herself fully.

These moments can only occur when she is listening to me and letting guide her to the lovers that are at one with us,

and this is what makes me happy.

 

This is what all p-ssies in the world crave and desire for happiness.

 

Ladies of the world…

are you listening to her?

She has a message for you,

she wants to connect and open your heart.

Your p-ssy is your guidance, your intuition and knowing.

It is time that you reconnect and stop blaming and fearing her.

 

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn more about how you as a woman can tap back into your female GPS and power? To live a life of rapture and truth?  Message me for deet’s on just how to do this.

Resistance to Your Heart Is Holding Back Your Desired Life.

The sky was coming down on me.

There I lay,

thrown out on the cold, damp grass…

Staring up into the heavens,

the full moon casting its light  down on me as though it was encouraging my breakdown.

I felt the earth beneath my body,

firm and cold to my plea,

my plea of not being enough.

 

This life that I have created,

this life that I love so deeply,

with all of its souls,

all the adventure,

all of the beauty.

Many days I feel that I am not good enough for this life.

I question why God has been so good to me?

Why do I keep reaping blessings,

why do people share such deep love with me,

Why do they value me so?

 

Don’t they see…

Don’t they see the human that I am.

The girl who still feels that she is not enough.

That pigeon toed wallflower who is lost in this thing called life?

 

Don’t they see that I fear myself.

I fear my messages.

I fear the spirit that moves through me,

that provides me such intensity at times.

 

I fear my heart.

That it may be wrong in its judgement,

it may guide me to loss and pain.

I fear that it was my heart that caused all of the pain,

and I know differently.

I know that the pain,

the sorrow,

is all based in my desire to control the outcome of my life.

I know that my heart which speaks from the place of deep understanding of soul,

never missguides.

It does not judge.

It knows.

It knows it truth,

and it just asks that I listen.

 

But I find on some days I cannot hear it for all the chaos that this beautiful life of mine has in it.

 

I cannot make out who I am on some days,

for who I am trying to be for everyone else.

 

And in this,

I become lost.

Just as you.

 

I snuggle into my humanness,

and I hold myself strong to the course that my head,

that my ego and all of society would tell me to be right and true.

And then in my final moments,

before I LET GO….

I find myself fighting to not drop to my knees,

to not lean in to this call.

This call that is so overpowering,

so enticing and juicy.

This call that I know if I let it pull me will guide me to all that I have wanted.

 

But I resist just a moment more.

I harden myself to all that I feel,

I toughen up like I have been told,

and I smile though I want to weep.

 

I say yes when I should say no.

I resist my truth yet some more.

As though it is helping me.

As though this will make me happy,

and solve my worlds problems.

 

Oh how funny we humans are.

How silly we are to run from all that we want,

all the while claiming we are pushing toward it.

 

We can not see our path,

as it lays out with each blind step that we take,

we cannot see it,

but if we learn to LET GO,

we can feel it.

It moves through us,

it moves us with each breath,

and those who choose to drop to their knees,

to lean into the call,

and allow our hearts to be seen,

if only for that flicker in time,

we grasp vision from the heavens above,

and we move.

 

 

Softly.

Gracefully.

In love.

 

We move.

 

But what you may not want to see,

is the mess,

the mess of this dropping.

The mess of letting go,

it may appear that one is falling apart,

trembling and lost more than ever before,

but this is a moment of expansion.

And a moment of revealing.

A moment where the heart leads.

 

There are no breakdowns,

only breakthroughs.

 

But we must allow them to be seen.

As we allow our hearts the same,

and through this process of shattering,

we transform who we are into who we were born to be.

 

BREATHE.

 

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Feel like you are lost and falling apart at the seams?

Like you have been working so hard for the life that you want,

but it still is not before you.

Let’s chat! Let’s get you cracked open and expanded so that YOU can call it in NOW.

 

Reach out to me about deet’s on 1:1 coaching and group now.

THIS is How You Get Your Woman to Want Your SEX!

“Baby you know I want you to love me! All I want is for you to tell me how you will do this! So I can think of you loving me! Don’t you want me to think about you constantly loving me? to keep me so horny for you?”
 
It’s laughable is it not?
 
Yet THIS is how so many unconscious men believe that women want to be spoken too.
 
THIS is how so many men believe women want to be related too.
 
THIS is how so many unconscious men believe INTIMACY to be.
 
But it’s NOT!
 
Over and over again I witness in different ways,
from messages and emails, texts and actual conversations.
 
From people in my practice who are clients to people who want to be clients.
 
From the lovers in my life,
current and past.
 
I witness from men the concept that women have the same turn on switches as men.
 
The reality is that 90% of the time THIS could not be further from the truth.
And when men approach women in the way men get turned on,
touching us the way they think we want to be touched,
which typically only provides them with pleasure,
speaking about intimacy, sex, relationship, connection in the way that turns them on but never slowing the eff down enough to inquire what makes us happy, aroused, ignited…
 
THEY TURN US THE F-CK OFF!
 
Not On.
 
Statements such as the one above are not about:
connection
intimacy
igniting the woman
learning her
sharing
or even viewing her as human.
 
These statements are about:
“What can she do for me?”
“How can she turn me on?”
“How can she pleasure me?”
 
It is a statement of USE.
And turns your woman or the woman you are speaking too into a masturbation tool.
 
NOTHING More.
 
If we aim to turn a potential partner or our partner on,
if we aim to arouse someone,
then we MUST learn how to relate to them.
 
Now men get turned on by visual stimulation,
men get turned on by mental stimulation, fantasy.
Men get turned on by sexy talk.
Men want to witness the act,
and they want this because sex happens outside their body.
It is happening on the outside layer of them not internally.
They get ignited sexually first.
The heart and emotions come second,
and when the sex diminishes so does the heart.
 
Women on the flip side,
get turned on by feeling adored,
feeling safe, feeling like her partner is into her,
appreciating her for her thoughts,
her views and ideas,
women get aroused by sensual touch or compassionate touch,
women feel connected when their partner inquires about her day and life AND LISTENS to her response instead of the football game.
Women need to actually LIKE their mate and feel their heart/emotions.
When a woman is opened up in her heart,
her sex opens with it.
When her heart closes,
her sex follows.
And she DOES NOT FEEL YOU any more.
 
So if you really want to ignite your woman,
or any woman for that matter,
heed this message.
 
And penetrate her heart first.
be a good guy that is compassionate and INTO her as a HUMAN BEING,
inquire about her likes, dislikes,
her day and views.
Get into the FEELS with her by sharing how you actually view things, feel about different stuff and show her that you are HUMAN too.
STOP touching her for your arousal and start asking her how she wants to be touched.
 
Learn your woman.
Not by insisting that she relate to sex, relationship and intimacy the way you do,
but instead by honoring the beautiful feminine that she is.
Which is FEELING.
Which is HEART CENTERED.
 
And then look out,
because once you open her heart to you,
(if she is into you like that, which you have no f-cking actual control over BTW)
then she will ROCK YOU sexually as well.
 
Or keep relating the way you have been,
and wonder why women are moody,
shut down,
on edge,
and walk away from you.
 
Your choice.
 
I suggest being a CONSCIOUS MAN.
 
Because Average and Ordinary ain’t no fun.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Working with couples and singles on have a F-ck Yes! sex and intimacy life is a passion of mine. I believe that YOU are worthy of that and more. Message me for deet’s on how I help you create a kick a*s love and financial life today. I work with people globally.
https://www.tantrictransformation.com/micro-consult/

WHY I DO SEX DAILY.

WHY I DO SEX DAILY….
 
I have sex almost daily.
It’s just my THING.
I do sex daily yes because I love sex,
but more so for what sex gives me.
And I am not referring to the mind blowing orgasms that only happen here and there.
 
Okay so it’s truth time folks,
yes ME,
the sex expert and coach that helps thousands of people have better and more sex DOES NOT have mind blowing, earth shaking orgasm daily.
Actually most days, its pretty meh…
The sex is just normal,
and even boring at times.
But I still do sex almost daily,
and some days if the opportunity presents itself two or three times.
 
Just a week ago I spent about 7 hours out of 24 having sex.
Now that was yummy.
But why was it yummy?
Why did I want to have 7 hours of sex?
or have it daily, especially if I am not having mind blowing sex or even an orgasm most of the time?
 
The simple truth is that SEX ignites my creative juices.
Sex allows me a medative state, no matter the outcome to work on embodying myself,
sex allows me practice time to get out of my head and FEEL myself at a deep level.
I get to practice letting go,
I get to practice vulnerability,
I get to practice surrender,
I get to see where I am challenged and through the rhythm of my sex,
the consistent allowance of letting myself feel and stepping away from the idea of cumming,
but just BEING instead,
I get to connect to my CORE and thus feel my partner at a deeper level.
 
I have discovered through the years,
that our SEX is linked to so many things.
Self-confidence,
self-love,
boundaries,
ability to receive and give,
thinking patterns,
fear,
DESIRE,
passion,
VITALITY,
a feeling of freedom,
a feeling of peace,
centeredness,
physical well-being,
mental well-being,
and expanded spiritual depth.
 
To just name a few.
Yet we are taught to shame our sex,
to hide from it,
to ignore it,
to STARVE IT.
We are taught that our sex is evil.
And that it should only be used to make babies, or relieve stress QUICKLY.
 
And this way of thinking about our sex,
has us shut down,
fearful,
and not having sex.
It has us feeling disconnected from life, ourselves and the people we love.
It has us feeling insecure and angry,
depressed and lost.
And it has us trying to achieve what we have a void in through any means possible.
It has us acting out and traumatizing ourselves and others.
 
Instead of loving ourselves,
being responsible,
compassionate,
mature people,
we are like caged, starving, beaten wild animals.
This is what our world has become when we DO SEX.
And it’s all because we have such a limited, repressed view and understanding of this beautiful gift from God.
 
Sex and finances are the top two reasons marriages break up.
Sex actually out weights money,
because when the sex is crap,
when the sex is disconnected and toxic,
when sex is just about the get off,
then you have a partner being used and abused.
You have trauma setting in and the relationship is TOXIC.
No amount of money can heal that.
That is all about embodiment.
That is all about connection.
 
And you can ONLY CONNECT to your partner if you know how to connect to yourself first.
 
THAT IS WHY I DO SEX DAILY.
 
The consistent practice of leaning more into ME.
 
How does your sex feel to you?
Connected and deep?
Expansive and full?
or shallow, empty and about the release?
 
Want to learn how you have beautiful sexing all the time and access these states of peace, joy and connection.
Enjoy intimacy no matter what is going on in your life?
Reach out to me for information on my 1:1 coaching available globally today.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

This Is Why Your Woman Will Not Pursue You.

Can you imagine starving?
Can you imagine what it must be like to be so hungry and not have food available,
or to not be able to consume the food that is there close to you?
Now I have been hungry before,
there are actually many days that happen where I almost forget about eating. I get so caught up in what I am doing and who I am working with or enjoying,
that food does not cross my mind.
My body though is still hungry.
I might occasionally feel the pains and grumblings of my hunger,
but unless I focus in on it, I can resist it and carry on about what I am doing.
Over time though, my blood sugar get’s low.
My head starts to pound.
I get moody, feel light headed and tired.
I can’t keep focused.
And funny enough, in moments like this, the last thing on my mind is eating.
Instead I wonder about, wondering what’s wrong with me?
Because in the not eating, I forget about food.
 
It never fails though in these moments.
Someone comes along, with something that awakens me to my hunger.
 
I am sure you have had this experience.
You are hungry.
You get side tracked.
You get more hungry.
You ignore the hunger pain.
You dull your senses.
You feel off.
AND THEN……
you smell a burger and fries.
 
Yes, it’s that moment.
You can maybe even smell that burger and fries right now.
You pass that restaurant and you smell it.
 
YUM!!!!!
Your body ignites.
Your stomach yells at you.
Your gut gurgles and says, STOP.
EAT.
 
Okay,
so you can understand this right?
 
Now imagine these two scenarios.
 
1) You are hungry like this. Starving. You catch a whiff of something yummy. Someone walks by you with that burger or steak. You follow them. You smell its juiciness. You can taste it almost. You are so hungry all you desire is a bite. You wish to just taste it. And they look at you and say, “No – my food!”
What are you feeling? What do you do?
 
2) You are hungry like this. Starving. You smell that burger and you decide to run through the drive trough. You order it plus the fries and a soda. You inhale it without thought because of your level of hunger. It’s a piss poor quality burger. It lands in your gut like cement. You feel sick. You feel even worse than before you ate it. You know how bad it was for you and you start to overthink your haste. Now you are upset with yourself for doing what you know you should not have done. You should have waited and taken better care of yourself but the hunger was REAL. What are you feeling? What do you do?
 
In either of these situations,
you are not being fed.
You are not being fulfilled.
There is no real satisfaction.
You just get frustrated.
Irritated.
And want for more, but find yourself KNOWING that what you want is not what you got.
 
Many people when they make poor food choices that make them feel yucky, commit in that moment to not do it again. Or at least not do it to soon again.
 
Many people who are hungry like this, do not choose then to hunt down all the fast food that makes them feel less than good.
 
Many people when they see a link to something causing them issues, choose to either avoid it, or limit their exposure to it.
 
Right?
That seems normal and within logical reason, wouldn’t you agree?
 
Well, here is the thing love.
This tale of starving. Of fast food.
It is actually not about food at all.
It is about satisfaction. Desire. or lack there of.
It is about STARVING.
 
But what I speak of here is the starving of good sex.
The starving of gourmet fulfillment.
I speak here what almost every woman would agree upon if they were raw and real about it.
 
That they are STARVING.
Hungry for something that they hardly get.
 
Can you imagine that 75-80% of the time that you have sex that you do not feel good from it?
That you actually feel yucky.
 
Can you imagine that you feel 75-80% of the time like it was a waist of time, energy and you feel disconnected and more empty then before you went into the situation?
 
Can you imagine that 75-80% of the time that you had sex that you did not enjoy it, have an orgasm?
 
All of this and more is accurate when we truly look into female sexual experience.
 
Gentlemen,
You get fed every time you eat.
You eat what you want and you like it most of the time, because shiz,
it’s food and who does not like food.
 
Well us ladies,
75-80% of the time we eat,
we feel sick from it. And we are not really eating,
we are just getting that whiff of the food.
So who wants to sit in their hunger and just catch a whiff at best 75-80% of the time?
 
Who in their right mind would desire,
pursue, look for or even be excited in the least to have that experience?
 
Not too many people I am guessing.
Yet, our partners ( and I say this as a woman who has had a partner want me to desire just this that I speak on plus the hundreds of couple’s that I have worked with over time who have the male partner wanting to be pursued, desired and frustrated with the woman on not doing so)….
 
Our partners, want us to want this for ourselves.
And they wonder why…
why we women shut down.
Why the sex turns from hot to Anniversary, birthday and Christmas sex.
They wonder what is wrong with their female partner to not want such a wonderful, connective, fulfilling thing such as sexual intimacy.
 
And I tell you in my rawest truth here,
THIS IS ONE MAJOR CONTRIBUTING FACTOR.
 
So what is the answer?
How can you fix her issues?
How can you make sure that she get’s fed?
 
 
These are the questions that are asked in couple-hood.
 
First, it is a two way street.
Both parties need to work on it individually and together, communication MUST happen. Things must change in order to get the results desired.
 
Second, You cannot fix her. She is not broken. And she is not a toy for your fixing Mr. Fix It. So effing STOP! You can however become a better lover. You can gain presence, compassion. You can inquire with skill. You can slow the F-ck down. You can actually want her to enjoy and there fore not get irritated and bored with the time she needs to take. You can do your own internal work, emotionally and mentally.
 
Third, you can do the above two.
And of course, if you need more help.
You still don’t know what to do,
to change.
You can seek outside help.
Like mine, ( Yes my shameless plug there…. but it’s true, you have been doing what you have been doing and you have been blind to what is happening until this moment or you have been really good at ignoring it all and hoping that it would just fix itself. That has not worked though. So… insert my shameless plug again please.)
 
And here are the facts,
sex is important. No matter how we try to discredit it.
Sex and money are the two major factors in relationship breakup and happiness.
 
Many people think they have a successful relationship because they look at the longevity of that relationship. The years spent together.
 
However, the truth is that relationship success is not about the years together,
it’s about the joy. The happiness. The over all feeling that the relationship leaves you with.
 
And most relationships under this mindset of success are far from successful.
 
So I ask you today,
are you content having and providing a fast food sex life at best to your relationship? The person you love and cherish?
 
Or is it time that you discover how to truly feed her?
 
Yes the gourmet variety.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
‘Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for deet’s on my 1:1 global coaching opportunities and more.
 
You deserve a deeply connective, turned on bedroom life and more.

Dropping the Orgasmic Ball Makes You an A-Hole (Guest Post Addison Bell)

I got dropped.
Again and again.
Over and over.

In the mental health and spiritual community, we are taught to focus in on the fact that we are responsible for ourselves and also that we are the most important person in our lives.

The notion that we must take care of self first and foremost and that we can not control another person’s feelings.

All very true teachings.

Yet, like much of life… it’s not always clear cut.

Today I sit here wrestling with my ego.

Because although we are the center of our own universe and must take care of ourselves. There are also times as humans where I believe we DO take second fiddle and time where we ARE responsible to a certain level for someone.

In truth, there are times where we lend our trust to another and have an agreement that we won’t get dropped. There is a consent put into place that if someone steps into a certain level of vulnerability, trust, and openness that we will be held.

If you are asking for vulnerability… then you should be able and willing to hold the other person’s vulnerability.

If you are asking for someone to step into trust… then you should be willing to stand steady to hold their deepening.

If you want your partner to truly surrender in sex and fully open to their next level orgasmic energy then you ARE offering SPACE… and you are therefore responsible for holding that space if they allow that surrender. The time, the emotion, the energy, etc.

And so you DO hold a level of responsibility for that other human.
Does that take away their responsibility for self???
Of course not.
We are still responsible ultimately, as adults, for ourselves but from a base level of not being self-centered as*holes…

It is important that we hold ourselves responsible for situations in which we are stepping into.

And therefore, there are times in our lives when we are NOT the most important person. There are times when despite us being in emotion that we must learn impulse control and learn to breathe into our feelings. There are times when it is appropriate to put others needs before our own.

I know that many will say… “You’re the most important person in your life and it’s okay to be selfish”.

And I agree with this most of the time.
We live in a society where we don’t know how to truly take care of self and where we often try to be people pleasers. On a daily basis, this is not healthy and will drain us consistently.

Being focused on taking care of self is perfectly beautiful.

Though the issue happens when we are only self-focused to the detriment of others needs and consent.

This is particularly true in our sex… and where my personal focus on this topic seems to be today.

When your woman (or man) opens up, when you have asked them either verbally or non-verbally to step to that deeper level of surrender.

Then you are a straight-up A**hole if you drop them!

This past weekend, I did a bi-annual Summer Orgasm Camp. It is my favorite workshop because of the different things that get brought up and the healing I see happening at the event.

The conversation ventures everywhere from energy, to shame, to tantric practices, to good old straight sex education that is missing.

But for this particular workshop, I am blessed to not just teach but also to be the model.

I got deep… I got vulnerable… I opened…
And I got my ass dropped no less than 6 times.
My orgasm got dropped
My boundaries got dropped
My deep-hearted requests

A moment where I, yes I, am the most important person in the room barring a MAJOR emergency.

Most of these drops were unintentional or unavoidable.
Welcome to putting on my big-girl panties!!!

Everyone is there at the event in a learning process.
I actually go in knowing that I will get dropped a few times… particularly in the orgasmic energy realm.

And it is a beautiful experience for me to work on taking care of myself energetically and asking for what I need.

Though there was a pivitol moment for me at the workshop that truly shows where we constantly drop people in sex, in relationship, and in life.

And more importantly, shows an example of when someone else’s needs come before our own.

At the event.
After the demo and lab are totally complete (and therefore the workshop), there is an aftercare process of bringing me back into my body and grounding me energetically that is an agreed-upon process with my co-teacher.

Giving me a few moments where I get to breathe… share any emotions coming up after being touched by many random strangers…and also to make sure I am physically doing alright.

This time I was feeling unusually ungrounded and dizzy from the energy. I was also experiencing a variety of emotions and had some physical issues arising as a result.

The pivitol moment happened the moment I sat up and a gentleman came up asking questions and continued to pull her away from me.

My co-teacher shared no less than three times that she needed to focus on supporting me and she would be happy to answer these at another time.

I overheard him state several times that he was needing to talk…
DEMANDING with his words and actions her attention.
DEMANDING that she refocus from me to him.
AND FORCING HER physically to leave my side.
NOT respecting boundaries she continued to state
NOT respecting my process after being vulnerable with him and the rest of the class

This is a beautiful example and a mirror for what we often do in the bedroom and life.

Not being present enough and confident in our own ability to hold our emotions that we vicariously walk over others and also in that lack of presence we DROP the other people in the situation.

Whether we realize it or not we send out self-centered vibes
A selfish person would have gone and taken care of self.
Would have asked if the other person was available and if they were not available would then find another tool in the self-care toolbox to manage.

Sometimes others needs do trump ours in certain moments.
This does not mean that our needs don’t matter!
Of course, our needs matter!
This just means that there are priorities in life and sometimes we can’t be the priority.

Sometimes the priority is in learning to hold ourselves
Sometimes the priority is in waiting until we can have true focused attention

Because I know for a fact that the gentleman this weekend did not get my co-teachers full attention and presence.

And in fact, becomes a “using” energy.
The orgasmic energy was used and appreciated and needed for the learning and then easily thrown away when it no longer was serving him.

And we all have done this at some point.

We are human and so therefore constantly dropping each other consciously and unconsciously.

Where could you be dropping the energy and stepping out of selfish energy and into self-centeredness today?

Love, Light, & Blessings,
Addison

www.addisonbell.net

“YOU DISGUST ME!”- WHY THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW MY GREATNESS!

 
So effing frustrated with our victim minded world that we have created!
 
Many of today’s humans could not make it in the world just 30 years ago.
 
We have created a society that is weak and scared of each other.
We have created a people that refuses to take responsibility for their thoughts, feelings or actions.
We have created a society that believes that shame is how you heal the world, how you make things right and that it is their DUTY to do just such.
 
We have created a world where confrontation is a bad thing that should be avoided at all cost and any one who stands up and speaks their truth that may not align 100% to another’s should brace themselves for the impact of how bad they are for stating it or setting a boundary.
 
Didn’t they understand their truth, their ideas, their opinions, their work, their art, their education, their pictures were offensive and shameful and not okay to have in this world?
 
Geeze what is wrong with them for sharing any of their stuff?
They should take into account what someone else that they don’t know might be feeling or how looking at whatever it is might make that other person think, because don’t you know YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE OF YOUR THOUGHTS OR FEELING everyone else is responsible for them, not you.
 
And because you posted it on social media – then you FORCED them to look.
 
This particular man friended me awhile back, ( see image with post)
he follows other sex and relationship coaches, practitioners and tantra educators that speak of openness, finding your orgasm and living in a sex positive world, yet he has decided to report some of my pictures because he claims that they are offensive and nasty…😱
 
Acting as though I have explicit sex pictures on my facebook for all too see…🤣🤣🤣
 
The reason I have chosen to share this with every one is simple,
this kind of attitude is becoming more of a norm.
 
The other day a man went off on my wall here under a musing I did on boundaries and how important it is to have healthy one’s in all areas of our lives, he decided that I was a tantric prostitute who was manipulating men by wearing a long white vintage dress into giving me their money… he insisted that I was being nasty as well in my flaunting of myself as he called it.
 
This sort of attitude that I see rising up more and more is sad.
It is an attitude of fear and separation with zero personal responsibility for our internal worlds.
 
There is so much pain in our world.
SO much pain in the people’s hearts.
And we are being blinded by it.
It forms in anger, disgust, rage, blame and shame toward others.
And it is because somewhere along the line we stopped teaching personal responsibility.
We started making the least mature people in the world the boss of everyone.
 
Competition these days is evil.
You cannot have a winner and a looser because it is hurtful to someone’s feelings.
You cannot have a debate and agree to disagree, because it may hurt someones feelings.
You cannot have certain beliefs, ideas, or experiences and talk about them because someone that may be passing by may hear and be upset by the sharing between two friends.
You are damned if you look, talk, believe or act this way or that way and you are damned if you don’t as well.
 
The ONLY THING that matters is that YOU make sure NOT TO OFFEND any other human being on this planet with your disgusting existence.
 
That is unless you are among the emotionally immature who feel it is socially acceptable to mock, blame, shame and kick others from behind their computer and phone screens about sharing what they are not comfortable with. That is JUST FINE – NO HARM, NO FOUL there.🤔
 
And yet,
we want to watch other’s who are living out loud and we can get caught up in their saga’s, drama’s and ways of living and expressing.
We flock to things that are not average.
We crave connection more then every.
We feel so isolated and misunderstood,
road rage and depression is normal,
everyone is on some prescription drug trying to mask their pain and disconnect.
 
Those who shame and blame the most hold the biggest subscriptions to porn hub and make the most aggressive private messages. On one side they condemn and on the other they explicitly expect.
 
And what does any of this truly mean at the end of the day?
 
It means that our world has progressed no further then the dark ages on this subject.
 
It means that if this were 2000+ years ago the one’s throwing the stones to kill the prostitute are the same one’s who were bedding her in the stable just 15 minutes prior.
 
It means that we still as a mass society value our suffering more then our worth.
 
It means that for those of us who choose to walk on the road less traveled and take the heat,
 
Those of us who are the 1% who will not cower to this crazy victim-hood mentality of settling for less than what we are worth in this life,
who believe in ourselves and whom want to be the light.
 
WE HOLD THE OPPORTUNITY TO GREATNESS.
 
The sheeple remain blind by fear mongering and separation.
 
But YOU are not a sheeple…. ( well at least I pray that if you follow me that you are not a sheeple and if you are well then please take this post as my personal invite for you to uninvite yourself out of my online community and tribe).
 
I BELIEVE IN YOU!
 
I choose to focus on WORTHINESS and that God does not create unworthy things.
 
I want you to know that if you are walking on this road less traveled with me that you are and EAGLE.
 
And you are not walking.
You are flying BABY!
You have wings.
And you have GREATNESS inside of you.
 
Never let those who are blinded by their own darkness cast your light out.
 
And this world,
this world is what you make of it.
Is what you choose to focus on,
so choose to not fear this blind victim-hood mentality of the weak minded and disconnected,
 
Instead,
Live Out Loud, Unapologetic and FREE!
 
💃💃💃 And don’t let my white vintage dress manipulate you too much…lol 🤣🤣🤣
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”