THIS is How You Get Your Woman to Want Your SEX!

“Baby you know I want you to love me! All I want is for you to tell me how you will do this! So I can think of you loving me! Don’t you want me to think about you constantly loving me? to keep me so horny for you?”
 
It’s laughable is it not?
 
Yet THIS is how so many unconscious men believe that women want to be spoken too.
 
THIS is how so many men believe women want to be related too.
 
THIS is how so many unconscious men believe INTIMACY to be.
 
But it’s NOT!
 
Over and over again I witness in different ways,
from messages and emails, texts and actual conversations.
 
From people in my practice who are clients to people who want to be clients.
 
From the lovers in my life,
current and past.
 
I witness from men the concept that women have the same turn on switches as men.
 
The reality is that 90% of the time THIS could not be further from the truth.
And when men approach women in the way men get turned on,
touching us the way they think we want to be touched,
which typically only provides them with pleasure,
speaking about intimacy, sex, relationship, connection in the way that turns them on but never slowing the eff down enough to inquire what makes us happy, aroused, ignited…
 
THEY TURN US THE F-CK OFF!
 
Not On.
 
Statements such as the one above are not about:
connection
intimacy
igniting the woman
learning her
sharing
or even viewing her as human.
 
These statements are about:
“What can she do for me?”
“How can she turn me on?”
“How can she pleasure me?”
 
It is a statement of USE.
And turns your woman or the woman you are speaking too into a masturbation tool.
 
NOTHING More.
 
If we aim to turn a potential partner or our partner on,
if we aim to arouse someone,
then we MUST learn how to relate to them.
 
Now men get turned on by visual stimulation,
men get turned on by mental stimulation, fantasy.
Men get turned on by sexy talk.
Men want to witness the act,
and they want this because sex happens outside their body.
It is happening on the outside layer of them not internally.
They get ignited sexually first.
The heart and emotions come second,
and when the sex diminishes so does the heart.
 
Women on the flip side,
get turned on by feeling adored,
feeling safe, feeling like her partner is into her,
appreciating her for her thoughts,
her views and ideas,
women get aroused by sensual touch or compassionate touch,
women feel connected when their partner inquires about her day and life AND LISTENS to her response instead of the football game.
Women need to actually LIKE their mate and feel their heart/emotions.
When a woman is opened up in her heart,
her sex opens with it.
When her heart closes,
her sex follows.
And she DOES NOT FEEL YOU any more.
 
So if you really want to ignite your woman,
or any woman for that matter,
heed this message.
 
And penetrate her heart first.
be a good guy that is compassionate and INTO her as a HUMAN BEING,
inquire about her likes, dislikes,
her day and views.
Get into the FEELS with her by sharing how you actually view things, feel about different stuff and show her that you are HUMAN too.
STOP touching her for your arousal and start asking her how she wants to be touched.
 
Learn your woman.
Not by insisting that she relate to sex, relationship and intimacy the way you do,
but instead by honoring the beautiful feminine that she is.
Which is FEELING.
Which is HEART CENTERED.
 
And then look out,
because once you open her heart to you,
(if she is into you like that, which you have no f-cking actual control over BTW)
then she will ROCK YOU sexually as well.
 
Or keep relating the way you have been,
and wonder why women are moody,
shut down,
on edge,
and walk away from you.
 
Your choice.
 
I suggest being a CONSCIOUS MAN.
 
Because Average and Ordinary ain’t no fun.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Working with couples and singles on have a F-ck Yes! sex and intimacy life is a passion of mine. I believe that YOU are worthy of that and more. Message me for deet’s on how I help you create a kick a*s love and financial life today. I work with people globally.
https://www.tantrictransformation.com/micro-consult/

WHY I DO SEX DAILY.

WHY I DO SEX DAILY….
 
I have sex almost daily.
It’s just my THING.
I do sex daily yes because I love sex,
but more so for what sex gives me.
And I am not referring to the mind blowing orgasms that only happen here and there.
 
Okay so it’s truth time folks,
yes ME,
the sex expert and coach that helps thousands of people have better and more sex DOES NOT have mind blowing, earth shaking orgasm daily.
Actually most days, its pretty meh…
The sex is just normal,
and even boring at times.
But I still do sex almost daily,
and some days if the opportunity presents itself two or three times.
 
Just a week ago I spent about 7 hours out of 24 having sex.
Now that was yummy.
But why was it yummy?
Why did I want to have 7 hours of sex?
or have it daily, especially if I am not having mind blowing sex or even an orgasm most of the time?
 
The simple truth is that SEX ignites my creative juices.
Sex allows me a medative state, no matter the outcome to work on embodying myself,
sex allows me practice time to get out of my head and FEEL myself at a deep level.
I get to practice letting go,
I get to practice vulnerability,
I get to practice surrender,
I get to see where I am challenged and through the rhythm of my sex,
the consistent allowance of letting myself feel and stepping away from the idea of cumming,
but just BEING instead,
I get to connect to my CORE and thus feel my partner at a deeper level.
 
I have discovered through the years,
that our SEX is linked to so many things.
Self-confidence,
self-love,
boundaries,
ability to receive and give,
thinking patterns,
fear,
DESIRE,
passion,
VITALITY,
a feeling of freedom,
a feeling of peace,
centeredness,
physical well-being,
mental well-being,
and expanded spiritual depth.
 
To just name a few.
Yet we are taught to shame our sex,
to hide from it,
to ignore it,
to STARVE IT.
We are taught that our sex is evil.
And that it should only be used to make babies, or relieve stress QUICKLY.
 
And this way of thinking about our sex,
has us shut down,
fearful,
and not having sex.
It has us feeling disconnected from life, ourselves and the people we love.
It has us feeling insecure and angry,
depressed and lost.
And it has us trying to achieve what we have a void in through any means possible.
It has us acting out and traumatizing ourselves and others.
 
Instead of loving ourselves,
being responsible,
compassionate,
mature people,
we are like caged, starving, beaten wild animals.
This is what our world has become when we DO SEX.
And it’s all because we have such a limited, repressed view and understanding of this beautiful gift from God.
 
Sex and finances are the top two reasons marriages break up.
Sex actually out weights money,
because when the sex is crap,
when the sex is disconnected and toxic,
when sex is just about the get off,
then you have a partner being used and abused.
You have trauma setting in and the relationship is TOXIC.
No amount of money can heal that.
That is all about embodiment.
That is all about connection.
 
And you can ONLY CONNECT to your partner if you know how to connect to yourself first.
 
THAT IS WHY I DO SEX DAILY.
 
The consistent practice of leaning more into ME.
 
How does your sex feel to you?
Connected and deep?
Expansive and full?
or shallow, empty and about the release?
 
Want to learn how you have beautiful sexing all the time and access these states of peace, joy and connection.
Enjoy intimacy no matter what is going on in your life?
Reach out to me for information on my 1:1 coaching available globally today.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

This Is Why Your Woman Will Not Pursue You.

Can you imagine starving?
Can you imagine what it must be like to be so hungry and not have food available,
or to not be able to consume the food that is there close to you?
Now I have been hungry before,
there are actually many days that happen where I almost forget about eating. I get so caught up in what I am doing and who I am working with or enjoying,
that food does not cross my mind.
My body though is still hungry.
I might occasionally feel the pains and grumblings of my hunger,
but unless I focus in on it, I can resist it and carry on about what I am doing.
Over time though, my blood sugar get’s low.
My head starts to pound.
I get moody, feel light headed and tired.
I can’t keep focused.
And funny enough, in moments like this, the last thing on my mind is eating.
Instead I wonder about, wondering what’s wrong with me?
Because in the not eating, I forget about food.
 
It never fails though in these moments.
Someone comes along, with something that awakens me to my hunger.
 
I am sure you have had this experience.
You are hungry.
You get side tracked.
You get more hungry.
You ignore the hunger pain.
You dull your senses.
You feel off.
AND THEN……
you smell a burger and fries.
 
Yes, it’s that moment.
You can maybe even smell that burger and fries right now.
You pass that restaurant and you smell it.
 
YUM!!!!!
Your body ignites.
Your stomach yells at you.
Your gut gurgles and says, STOP.
EAT.
 
Okay,
so you can understand this right?
 
Now imagine these two scenarios.
 
1) You are hungry like this. Starving. You catch a whiff of something yummy. Someone walks by you with that burger or steak. You follow them. You smell its juiciness. You can taste it almost. You are so hungry all you desire is a bite. You wish to just taste it. And they look at you and say, “No – my food!”
What are you feeling? What do you do?
 
2) You are hungry like this. Starving. You smell that burger and you decide to run through the drive trough. You order it plus the fries and a soda. You inhale it without thought because of your level of hunger. It’s a piss poor quality burger. It lands in your gut like cement. You feel sick. You feel even worse than before you ate it. You know how bad it was for you and you start to overthink your haste. Now you are upset with yourself for doing what you know you should not have done. You should have waited and taken better care of yourself but the hunger was REAL. What are you feeling? What do you do?
 
In either of these situations,
you are not being fed.
You are not being fulfilled.
There is no real satisfaction.
You just get frustrated.
Irritated.
And want for more, but find yourself KNOWING that what you want is not what you got.
 
Many people when they make poor food choices that make them feel yucky, commit in that moment to not do it again. Or at least not do it to soon again.
 
Many people who are hungry like this, do not choose then to hunt down all the fast food that makes them feel less than good.
 
Many people when they see a link to something causing them issues, choose to either avoid it, or limit their exposure to it.
 
Right?
That seems normal and within logical reason, wouldn’t you agree?
 
Well, here is the thing love.
This tale of starving. Of fast food.
It is actually not about food at all.
It is about satisfaction. Desire. or lack there of.
It is about STARVING.
 
But what I speak of here is the starving of good sex.
The starving of gourmet fulfillment.
I speak here what almost every woman would agree upon if they were raw and real about it.
 
That they are STARVING.
Hungry for something that they hardly get.
 
Can you imagine that 75-80% of the time that you have sex that you do not feel good from it?
That you actually feel yucky.
 
Can you imagine that you feel 75-80% of the time like it was a waist of time, energy and you feel disconnected and more empty then before you went into the situation?
 
Can you imagine that 75-80% of the time that you had sex that you did not enjoy it, have an orgasm?
 
All of this and more is accurate when we truly look into female sexual experience.
 
Gentlemen,
You get fed every time you eat.
You eat what you want and you like it most of the time, because shiz,
it’s food and who does not like food.
 
Well us ladies,
75-80% of the time we eat,
we feel sick from it. And we are not really eating,
we are just getting that whiff of the food.
So who wants to sit in their hunger and just catch a whiff at best 75-80% of the time?
 
Who in their right mind would desire,
pursue, look for or even be excited in the least to have that experience?
 
Not too many people I am guessing.
Yet, our partners ( and I say this as a woman who has had a partner want me to desire just this that I speak on plus the hundreds of couple’s that I have worked with over time who have the male partner wanting to be pursued, desired and frustrated with the woman on not doing so)….
 
Our partners, want us to want this for ourselves.
And they wonder why…
why we women shut down.
Why the sex turns from hot to Anniversary, birthday and Christmas sex.
They wonder what is wrong with their female partner to not want such a wonderful, connective, fulfilling thing such as sexual intimacy.
 
And I tell you in my rawest truth here,
THIS IS ONE MAJOR CONTRIBUTING FACTOR.
 
So what is the answer?
How can you fix her issues?
How can you make sure that she get’s fed?
 
 
These are the questions that are asked in couple-hood.
 
First, it is a two way street.
Both parties need to work on it individually and together, communication MUST happen. Things must change in order to get the results desired.
 
Second, You cannot fix her. She is not broken. And she is not a toy for your fixing Mr. Fix It. So effing STOP! You can however become a better lover. You can gain presence, compassion. You can inquire with skill. You can slow the F-ck down. You can actually want her to enjoy and there fore not get irritated and bored with the time she needs to take. You can do your own internal work, emotionally and mentally.
 
Third, you can do the above two.
And of course, if you need more help.
You still don’t know what to do,
to change.
You can seek outside help.
Like mine, ( Yes my shameless plug there…. but it’s true, you have been doing what you have been doing and you have been blind to what is happening until this moment or you have been really good at ignoring it all and hoping that it would just fix itself. That has not worked though. So… insert my shameless plug again please.)
 
And here are the facts,
sex is important. No matter how we try to discredit it.
Sex and money are the two major factors in relationship breakup and happiness.
 
Many people think they have a successful relationship because they look at the longevity of that relationship. The years spent together.
 
However, the truth is that relationship success is not about the years together,
it’s about the joy. The happiness. The over all feeling that the relationship leaves you with.
 
And most relationships under this mindset of success are far from successful.
 
So I ask you today,
are you content having and providing a fast food sex life at best to your relationship? The person you love and cherish?
 
Or is it time that you discover how to truly feed her?
 
Yes the gourmet variety.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
‘Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for deet’s on my 1:1 global coaching opportunities and more.
 
You deserve a deeply connective, turned on bedroom life and more.

Dropping the Orgasmic Ball Makes You an A-Hole (Guest Post Addison Bell)

I got dropped.
Again and again.
Over and over.

In the mental health and spiritual community, we are taught to focus in on the fact that we are responsible for ourselves and also that we are the most important person in our lives.

The notion that we must take care of self first and foremost and that we can not control another person’s feelings.

All very true teachings.

Yet, like much of life… it’s not always clear cut.

Today I sit here wrestling with my ego.

Because although we are the center of our own universe and must take care of ourselves. There are also times as humans where I believe we DO take second fiddle and time where we ARE responsible to a certain level for someone.

In truth, there are times where we lend our trust to another and have an agreement that we won’t get dropped. There is a consent put into place that if someone steps into a certain level of vulnerability, trust, and openness that we will be held.

If you are asking for vulnerability… then you should be able and willing to hold the other person’s vulnerability.

If you are asking for someone to step into trust… then you should be willing to stand steady to hold their deepening.

If you want your partner to truly surrender in sex and fully open to their next level orgasmic energy then you ARE offering SPACE… and you are therefore responsible for holding that space if they allow that surrender. The time, the emotion, the energy, etc.

And so you DO hold a level of responsibility for that other human.
Does that take away their responsibility for self???
Of course not.
We are still responsible ultimately, as adults, for ourselves but from a base level of not being self-centered as*holes…

It is important that we hold ourselves responsible for situations in which we are stepping into.

And therefore, there are times in our lives when we are NOT the most important person. There are times when despite us being in emotion that we must learn impulse control and learn to breathe into our feelings. There are times when it is appropriate to put others needs before our own.

I know that many will say… “You’re the most important person in your life and it’s okay to be selfish”.

And I agree with this most of the time.
We live in a society where we don’t know how to truly take care of self and where we often try to be people pleasers. On a daily basis, this is not healthy and will drain us consistently.

Being focused on taking care of self is perfectly beautiful.

Though the issue happens when we are only self-focused to the detriment of others needs and consent.

This is particularly true in our sex… and where my personal focus on this topic seems to be today.

When your woman (or man) opens up, when you have asked them either verbally or non-verbally to step to that deeper level of surrender.

Then you are a straight-up A**hole if you drop them!

This past weekend, I did a bi-annual Summer Orgasm Camp. It is my favorite workshop because of the different things that get brought up and the healing I see happening at the event.

The conversation ventures everywhere from energy, to shame, to tantric practices, to good old straight sex education that is missing.

But for this particular workshop, I am blessed to not just teach but also to be the model.

I got deep… I got vulnerable… I opened…
And I got my ass dropped no less than 6 times.
My orgasm got dropped
My boundaries got dropped
My deep-hearted requests

A moment where I, yes I, am the most important person in the room barring a MAJOR emergency.

Most of these drops were unintentional or unavoidable.
Welcome to putting on my big-girl panties!!!

Everyone is there at the event in a learning process.
I actually go in knowing that I will get dropped a few times… particularly in the orgasmic energy realm.

And it is a beautiful experience for me to work on taking care of myself energetically and asking for what I need.

Though there was a pivitol moment for me at the workshop that truly shows where we constantly drop people in sex, in relationship, and in life.

And more importantly, shows an example of when someone else’s needs come before our own.

At the event.
After the demo and lab are totally complete (and therefore the workshop), there is an aftercare process of bringing me back into my body and grounding me energetically that is an agreed-upon process with my co-teacher.

Giving me a few moments where I get to breathe… share any emotions coming up after being touched by many random strangers…and also to make sure I am physically doing alright.

This time I was feeling unusually ungrounded and dizzy from the energy. I was also experiencing a variety of emotions and had some physical issues arising as a result.

The pivitol moment happened the moment I sat up and a gentleman came up asking questions and continued to pull her away from me.

My co-teacher shared no less than three times that she needed to focus on supporting me and she would be happy to answer these at another time.

I overheard him state several times that he was needing to talk…
DEMANDING with his words and actions her attention.
DEMANDING that she refocus from me to him.
AND FORCING HER physically to leave my side.
NOT respecting boundaries she continued to state
NOT respecting my process after being vulnerable with him and the rest of the class

This is a beautiful example and a mirror for what we often do in the bedroom and life.

Not being present enough and confident in our own ability to hold our emotions that we vicariously walk over others and also in that lack of presence we DROP the other people in the situation.

Whether we realize it or not we send out self-centered vibes
A selfish person would have gone and taken care of self.
Would have asked if the other person was available and if they were not available would then find another tool in the self-care toolbox to manage.

Sometimes others needs do trump ours in certain moments.
This does not mean that our needs don’t matter!
Of course, our needs matter!
This just means that there are priorities in life and sometimes we can’t be the priority.

Sometimes the priority is in learning to hold ourselves
Sometimes the priority is in waiting until we can have true focused attention

Because I know for a fact that the gentleman this weekend did not get my co-teachers full attention and presence.

And in fact, becomes a “using” energy.
The orgasmic energy was used and appreciated and needed for the learning and then easily thrown away when it no longer was serving him.

And we all have done this at some point.

We are human and so therefore constantly dropping each other consciously and unconsciously.

Where could you be dropping the energy and stepping out of selfish energy and into self-centeredness today?

Love, Light, & Blessings,
Addison

www.addisonbell.net

“YOU DISGUST ME!”- WHY THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW MY GREATNESS!

 
So effing frustrated with our victim minded world that we have created!
 
Many of today’s humans could not make it in the world just 30 years ago.
 
We have created a society that is weak and scared of each other.
We have created a people that refuses to take responsibility for their thoughts, feelings or actions.
We have created a society that believes that shame is how you heal the world, how you make things right and that it is their DUTY to do just such.
 
We have created a world where confrontation is a bad thing that should be avoided at all cost and any one who stands up and speaks their truth that may not align 100% to another’s should brace themselves for the impact of how bad they are for stating it or setting a boundary.
 
Didn’t they understand their truth, their ideas, their opinions, their work, their art, their education, their pictures were offensive and shameful and not okay to have in this world?
 
Geeze what is wrong with them for sharing any of their stuff?
They should take into account what someone else that they don’t know might be feeling or how looking at whatever it is might make that other person think, because don’t you know YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE OF YOUR THOUGHTS OR FEELING everyone else is responsible for them, not you.
 
And because you posted it on social media – then you FORCED them to look.
 
This particular man friended me awhile back, ( see image with post)
he follows other sex and relationship coaches, practitioners and tantra educators that speak of openness, finding your orgasm and living in a sex positive world, yet he has decided to report some of my pictures because he claims that they are offensive and nasty…😱
 
Acting as though I have explicit sex pictures on my facebook for all too see…🤣🤣🤣
 
The reason I have chosen to share this with every one is simple,
this kind of attitude is becoming more of a norm.
 
The other day a man went off on my wall here under a musing I did on boundaries and how important it is to have healthy one’s in all areas of our lives, he decided that I was a tantric prostitute who was manipulating men by wearing a long white vintage dress into giving me their money… he insisted that I was being nasty as well in my flaunting of myself as he called it.
 
This sort of attitude that I see rising up more and more is sad.
It is an attitude of fear and separation with zero personal responsibility for our internal worlds.
 
There is so much pain in our world.
SO much pain in the people’s hearts.
And we are being blinded by it.
It forms in anger, disgust, rage, blame and shame toward others.
And it is because somewhere along the line we stopped teaching personal responsibility.
We started making the least mature people in the world the boss of everyone.
 
Competition these days is evil.
You cannot have a winner and a looser because it is hurtful to someone’s feelings.
You cannot have a debate and agree to disagree, because it may hurt someones feelings.
You cannot have certain beliefs, ideas, or experiences and talk about them because someone that may be passing by may hear and be upset by the sharing between two friends.
You are damned if you look, talk, believe or act this way or that way and you are damned if you don’t as well.
 
The ONLY THING that matters is that YOU make sure NOT TO OFFEND any other human being on this planet with your disgusting existence.
 
That is unless you are among the emotionally immature who feel it is socially acceptable to mock, blame, shame and kick others from behind their computer and phone screens about sharing what they are not comfortable with. That is JUST FINE – NO HARM, NO FOUL there.🤔
 
And yet,
we want to watch other’s who are living out loud and we can get caught up in their saga’s, drama’s and ways of living and expressing.
We flock to things that are not average.
We crave connection more then every.
We feel so isolated and misunderstood,
road rage and depression is normal,
everyone is on some prescription drug trying to mask their pain and disconnect.
 
Those who shame and blame the most hold the biggest subscriptions to porn hub and make the most aggressive private messages. On one side they condemn and on the other they explicitly expect.
 
And what does any of this truly mean at the end of the day?
 
It means that our world has progressed no further then the dark ages on this subject.
 
It means that if this were 2000+ years ago the one’s throwing the stones to kill the prostitute are the same one’s who were bedding her in the stable just 15 minutes prior.
 
It means that we still as a mass society value our suffering more then our worth.
 
It means that for those of us who choose to walk on the road less traveled and take the heat,
 
Those of us who are the 1% who will not cower to this crazy victim-hood mentality of settling for less than what we are worth in this life,
who believe in ourselves and whom want to be the light.
 
WE HOLD THE OPPORTUNITY TO GREATNESS.
 
The sheeple remain blind by fear mongering and separation.
 
But YOU are not a sheeple…. ( well at least I pray that if you follow me that you are not a sheeple and if you are well then please take this post as my personal invite for you to uninvite yourself out of my online community and tribe).
 
I BELIEVE IN YOU!
 
I choose to focus on WORTHINESS and that God does not create unworthy things.
 
I want you to know that if you are walking on this road less traveled with me that you are and EAGLE.
 
And you are not walking.
You are flying BABY!
You have wings.
And you have GREATNESS inside of you.
 
Never let those who are blinded by their own darkness cast your light out.
 
And this world,
this world is what you make of it.
Is what you choose to focus on,
so choose to not fear this blind victim-hood mentality of the weak minded and disconnected,
 
Instead,
Live Out Loud, Unapologetic and FREE!
 
💃💃💃 And don’t let my white vintage dress manipulate you too much…lol 🤣🤣🤣
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
 
 

The Power of the Sensual Feminine in Her Wild Woman State.

To all the ladies in the house….
To all you mama’s,
you grandmama’s,
you sexy, confident queen’s.
 
Today I share from my feminine sensual heart to you directly.
Today I speak to that turned on,
ignited,
passionate woman who know’s who she is at her core and who know’s her worthiness to receive the riches of this life she is living.
 
Yes YOU Beautiful!
 
Woman to woman,
lets get real.
Let’s talk about the embracing of our sensual feminine and how beautifully powerful this is,
how scary as f-ck it can be,
and some about the shaming and misinterpretations of what it all means and how it is perceived.
 
Many a moon ago, I was reading the book Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. If you are unfamiliar with this book it is stories and myths of the wild woman archetype, I was in my early twenties, living in Seattle with my husband then. I was in the middle of my second pregnancy. I was feeling trapped, fatigued, lost in myself. I would look in the mirror at my ever changing body and hate what I saw but at the same time appreciate the power of my womb. I loved being a mother, but disliked the then assumed fact that I had lost my sexiness. I had lost my feminine sensuousness and appeal.
 
No matter how much my husband tried to affirm my beauty,
his desire or anything else,
I could not hear him because what the world showed me and I had been taught from my own mother was that motherhood was far from sexy and being a mother meant that you had to put away your desire of anything such. Reserve it for a random few times a month at best, in the dark, and without too much noise because the children must not know of pleasure or intimacy or their mother’s desire to be ignited.
 
This hiding from who I was at my core,
destroyed my self-esteem. It captured my soul and prevented me from speaking my truth in any area of my life and I felt shame anytime I received a compliment or a flirty smile or look from a man. I could not even play sensually with my spouse without feeling guilt over accidentally being seen.
 
What would people think?
I must be being a bad mother example if I let this aspect of myself out.
 
So here I was with this wild woman resting within me,
wanting to be revealed but fearing the loss of everything that felt suffocating but strangely comfortable and safe, should I let her dance the way she wanted.
 
At my soul core I KNEW that if I were to truly be who I was unapologetically that the world would not support. That the feminine itself would want to burn me at the stake and the masculine would want to try and domesticate with control.
 
I knew that if I revealed my sensual,
that if I allowed my voice to sing,
my feet to dance,
my skirts to twirl and my pleasure to be seen that the radiance would call in the darkest of armies to slash at it and cast stones to quiet its truth. Yet, this wild woman within, she was so hungry, she was fierce in her desire to be unmasked, unchained.
 
And as the years passed, I would experiment with the loosening of her leash.
 
To my dismay,
there I was a decade later,
now with five children I was raising,
living in Dallas,
coming out of a two+ year deep depression and total give up of life and power,
looking at my life and seeing this wild woman at the end of her rope,
still fierce and full of vitality,
she was straining in her fight for not her life but MINE.
She was committed to not let me go any longer in my suffering,
and she broke free of her chains.
 
As the chains dropped to the earth, she slowly regained her balance and at first treaded with caution the waters of the life that I had created in fear of being seen and heard. Focused and determined though was she to breathe life back into my sails, and teach me of this radiance that I was worthy of.
 
Unleashed she opened me to the bliss of joy,
the power of laughter and authentic connection.
She unwound the ropes that held me hostage of living in integrity, the misguided ideas of always aiming for perfection and the pleasing of everyone else.
 
The wild woman brought to me the mirror of self-compassion and as I viewed it and stepped into all the places that I had chosen to abandon her and myself, I was brought into the dance of forgiveness. With each step of deep healing work I found myself learning myself,
perhaps for the very first time,
but a learning that it was never expected of me to be superhuman. It was never expected of me to hide my light,
my voice, my heart from this world and most especially from my children or self.
 
As I moved further into the embrace of the wild woman,
I discovered that her rage that she could move passionately into was not a rage of evil to fear but it was her wanting to purify the untruth that had been dumped on me at youth and supported by my belief in it.
 
Her pain that she expressed in my darkest hours of not listening, was not evil or lost, it was pain that was begging for the embrace of love. Not a love that could be given from anyone other than self.
 
With each step on this new journey of the wild woman,
I discovered that this archetype was there to teach me not to fear my sensual feminine but to embrace it as the life giving, creative energy that it was intended to be.
 
The rapes and abuse that was once perceived to be caused by the revealing of the sensual feminine was not that at all, but instead the allowance of my shame and guilt that attempted to make this energy docile and weak. Because it was feared by my veil to my truth and perceived dangerous.
 
Another decade has be lived and two more babies born since this unchaining has occurred and with in many more lessons of self- expansion has happened. Some may view some of these lessons as traumatic and even myself in the moments of experience would agree,
some moments were breathtaking as I was blessed to bask in the presence of the divine you could say.
 
Moments of allowing the wild woman to embrace me during deep expanding sex, where my heart exploded and the smell of roses would waft up from the moments of soul union and intimacy.
 
Blessed was I as I let her take the lead a bit further in my life.
Blessed because I learned that love although sometimes a pain that can not be touched by any other, is still the blessing that God wants us to know we are worthy of.
 
Blessed because she lead me with this fierce love to a deeper level of self knowing and an encouragement to open up to the sensual energy of play.
 
Blessed because she removed more veils in her dance,
allowing me to see clearer with each passing year,
that the wild woman that I once feared was the a warrior angel who always believed in my worthiness and heart.
 
Her leading steps,
her powerful emotion,
her dedication to my reveal,
was the breath that God and spirit had sent to me,
to claim my truth as the sensual feminine.
Though some still perceive it as dangerous.
And some view it with disgust as they call out in their poisonous toned words of shame, anger and fear of the unknown.
 
The thing that I have learned from her that I cherish the most,
is that all the bile that others may throw comes not from who I am or what they perceive me to be but is instead is the venom that they poison themselves with because they fear WHOM THEY COULD BE.
 
The disgust that one may cast toward another is only a mirror reflection of how they feel about themselves.
 
 
And so beautiful mama,
grandmama and mama in waiting.
No matter where you are in this dance called life,
know that you too are born to be wild,
born to be sensual,
to be wise and strong,
to be love,
and to be seen and heard.
 
That face,
that soul and that voice.
Has a message for this world.
But the message that the world has been blessed to give to you is that God wants you to CLAIM WHO YOU ARE.
 
Never hide or lower your eye’s to those who speak tongues of evil no mater how pretty their faith may appear, or their words sound.
 
You beautiful mama are a queen.
You hold within you the seeds of the universe,
the energy of creation,
the power of life.
 
May you take today’s message and feel your strength,
not in your shield of fear,
but in that crown that is upon your head and power of your sensual feminine.
 
Dance Beautiful Wild Woman.
Dance Beautiful Mama.
Dance and let your Joy Be Seen.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living.
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
 
We start in a little over a week!
Will you be embracing your Unstoppable Power this summer?
 
Join myself and tribe of beautiful queens as we pick up our crowns and make it our time to fly.
 
Section One 4 weeks: Owning Your Power
No More Good Girl Holdbacks!
Let Go, Let Go, Allow!
Letting Go of Perfectionism, Activating Authenticity
Desire is my GPS.
 
Section Two 4 week: Lifestyle Design
No More Dry P*ssy Face.
Increased Pleasure Threshold
Comfort to Miracles
Manifesting with Ease & Grace
 
Section Three 4 weeks: Money, Sex & Men
Knowing Your Abundance Key’s
Saying Yes to Your Orgasm ( In life and the bedroom)
Men Are Just Desserts
Manifesting Your Unstoppable Power
 
Grab you spot Today!
Early Bird Saving Still Apply.
Six 1:1 sessions with me plus 12 weeks of unstoppable power activation.
 

Your SOUL Craves Gourmet Sex and So Does Your Abundance.

The more gourmet sex I have the less I make my bed.
 
It is so vitally important to have gourmet sexual experiences,
not just a bunch of sex.
 
That low vibe,
high friction,
empty,
fast food sex is simply not even worth the time it takes to get undressed.
 
And it most certainly does not feed your soul.
 
It does not drop you into your core, your primal sexual creative energy where many great visionaries, leaders, game changers of all time have spoken of accessing for life success.
 
It is not the sexual encounters documented in Song of Solomon in the bible either.
 
That sort of encounter,
that sort of divine,
touching the big toe of God experience happens only when you tap into your SOUL.
 
Which is a SOUL of SEX.
 
As Thomas Moore states in his book on this very topic,
“In sex an inner life of strong emotions and vivid fantasies meet with a real person to create a moment of exceptional intensity when life is full and reason is dim…
 
But it is the soul, and not some inanimate body, that feels the hunger and can’t resist the appetite.”
 
This appetite that is spoken of here and in Solomon is the hunger for life. The desire that even Jesus spoke of to be fully entwined with the creator.
 
With God.
 
Sex is soul food.
It is a vital nutrient to our human condition,
allowing us to gain access to higher realms of understanding and feeling,
where we become limitless in our manifestation possibilities.
 
However, in order to tap into this storehouse of magic and possibilities one must STOP settling for fast food sex and in turn DEMAND gourmet sexing.
 
Gourmet sexing,
takes one away from the linear mindset,
out of the monkey brain, where we desire for control instead of freedom.
 
Gourmet sexing is about tapping into our already full state of being and opening into our true spiritual power.
 
This is where we command in our blessings.
When we allow our soul the expression of gourmet sex,
in its craving of these blissful excursions,
we experience a separate reality,
where we tap into the mystery of being human.
 
Here in this enticing altered state of being and awareness, the SOUL discovers many truths about life, love, our partners, selves and God. This expanded understanding of sex ignites our manifestation capabilities and provides us the complexity and satisfying fulfillment of what being HUMAN can offer.
 
The details of what one once found important,
the fears,
concerns and doubts around our lives experiences,
the responsibilities that we take on to hide our truth and power,
all are washed away through gourmet sexing.
 
And are replaced with compassion,
a deep desire of authenticity,
passion, joy and connection.
 
In this altered state of a sexing we discover WHO WE ARE.
 
I can share from a very intimate note that when we tap into this way of sexing and living we impact all of life. The ripple effect from each who chooses the enlightened path of sex and the soul expression that is was designed to be end up being a healing agent in this ill world.
 
Now I call on you beautiful to inquire about how you choose to view your sex.
 
I ask you do you identify with the desire that your SOUL has to be expressed?
 
Do you cherish and respect the power of your orgasm?
And the greatness that it can offer you in your manifestation for a life of richness, abundance and freedom?
 
Or is your sex more equivalent of washing your hands or making your bed, where it has little meaning or depth and you cannot fathom such richness and power coming from what you perceive as friction based activity that serves for the reproduction or stress release?
 
Curious about the Soul of Your Sex?
 
Let me share with you almost 30 years of education, training and enlightened study on this topic and how it can NOT ONLY change your bedroom life but also your ABUNDANCE.
 
Message me about elite coaching now.
 
As Always, Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

I am looking for a girlfriend experience….

I am looking for a girlfriend experience…

I can’t help it, men wake up with cum on the brain…

It’s your fault, you are so hot, I just cannot control myself…

You teach tantra, so that means that you will have sex with me…

I want to sex you…

So what do you think? (insert below average unsolicited dick pic here)

And so many other statements that we coaches, educators, tantra teachers and WOMEN GET DAILY.

And I have left some of the more raunchy ones off of this list.

If I shared what gets stated and shown to me frequently via Facebook messenger and other lines of social media and randomly to my email or phone I would get kicked off of Facebook. Funny little note here, if I report someone on Facebook for sexual harassment or aggressive statements or out of standard pictures I get to keep the pictures and messages, it is left up to me to dispose of them. But if I say one word that someone scrolling through see’s and is upset about then my posting is trashed and I am booted for three days…FAIR????🤔

My rant here is because I want to bring to light the ill ideas that so many have of women in general.

How so many (sorry men, but it is effing true) men think it okay, normal, ACCEPTABLE and even appreciated to message and make the comments that they do to random women they do not know or even ones that they do know.

The above leading statement, “I am looking for a girlfriend experience.” was recently messaged to me here on Facebook from an old client of mine who after yesterdays communications has been blocked and is on the cusp of having a restraining order served if he does not simmer his ass down.

YES! He took it that far.

It is hard to rattle me.
It is difficult to get to me with the distasteful pictures and comments.
I typically just delete after a good laugh. 🤣🤣🤣
With no message back.
Every now then when I am hormonal or just in a bitchy mood and had enough of the shenanigans that these pervs who seem to be dressed up as adult men send out,
on these days,
these days I get a little sarcastic.
And fire back something. 📣🤣🤦‍♀️
I consider it tossing my ego some breadcrumbs.
As I do so much work to keep light on my ego and stay aware of where it is and how it is trying to control me.

But then this shiz 💩happens.
An old client solicits me for sex.
Assuming it is okay.
Assuming that I would I guess be excited at his proud offer.
And then to his dismay, I say – NO! 😱

Sorry sir, I don’t do that.
I don’t sleep with my clients.
I don’t do sexual things with my clients.
If you want to do a coaching appointment over dinner, yes we can .
If you want and extended coaching session, yes we can do that too.
You want me to listen and give you connection that way, yes we can do that too.
You want a hug. – yes I will give you a hug if you need it.

Oh wait, you want me to come to your hotel room and stay the effing night????? ( scratching my head as I wonder where he got this idea from🤔)

Ummmmm…. let me see if that is in my pay grade? or desire grade?

Ohhhhhhhhh…..

F-CK NO!!!!!!!!!

Yeah.
And yet so many men out there think that we women will be ecstatic to just have a guy message and say, ” I wanna f-ck you.” or ” I love you. So lets have sex. Let me touch you here and there. Do this and that to you. I can show you want a real man is like.”

And we women are to go weak at the knees I guess.
And get wet, and be like “Oh my God, my soulmate has arrived! YES. YES. YES. Please, take me. Let me bend over for this two pump chump that I have been dreaming of.”

LOL.
Right?

Oh I know what will make it better.
This chick she is hot and she teaches on sex.
I will offer to pay her for the two pumps.
That will be appealing.
That will seal the deal.

SERIOUSLY GUYS?

And these same men will proclaim themselves Conscious Men.
Spiritual Men.
Emotionally Mature Men.
Wise Men.
Understanding Women Men.

Of which none really apply.

I am a woman who loves men.
I love supporting men.
I love working with men.
I love seeing men become better men.
Having the love, the relationships, the sex and abundance that they want.

But with someone that is not me.
Unless you are my boyfriend. My lover.
Which FYI is NOT an easy place to get.

Women can be easy for sure.
Some more than others.
And this has a lot to do with a lot of things.
But most women who love themselves, respect themselves and KNOW WHAT THEY WANT.

Will not bed easy.
Or with just anyone.
And for certain not with these FOOLS!

Sorry wantabe gents, I only provide a girlfriend experience to my boyfriend.
And he is my boyfriend because he is at least wise enough to not make these stupid assumptions.

SO this rant, is for all you ladies out there.
Single or taken.
No matter your relationship status,
no matter your body type,
no matter your background,
religion,
career,
education level,
or ethnic background.

I know we all get this SHIZ consistently and it sucks.
So the next time a dude sends you a unsolicited dick pic and says what do you think baby?
Simply say, ” I think you should not be sending me child pornography and I am reporting this.”

Guys, you can call me whatever name you want right now, and if you are calling me names and taking offense then you might be one of these dudes I am speaking of.

In Jeff Foxworthy terms, “Here’s Your Sign!”

This may be a controversial post…
This may have some anger and frustration attached,
and I am NOT claiming that all men are this way ( thank goodness you are not or we women would be very upset and lonely) What I am saying is that –
💩💩💩THIS SHIZ IS NOT OKAY!!!💩💩💩

Guy’s you have got to realize that if all you think you have to offer is that little picture and some fowl words, some begging and then some anger when you get NOTHING but crickets or go the eff away….

That YOU have got some inner work to do.
You have got to learn some things about women and life.
We don’t owe you anything, certainly not our sex.
Maybe a blocking on social media… but our thanks and appreciation for this crap is not owed.

You want to have a chance with a women,
appeal to her mind and heart.
Women DO NOT operate like men.
Your pictures will not captivate us and make us want you.
And we typically don’t let sex rule our lives.
Or our actions.
And if you really want a woman,
then you need to F-CKING EARN HER!

Become a man.
Start there.
We are not babysitters.
We are not wanting the immaturity,
the disrespect

Your dick….
Your sexual comments are NOT A TURN ON.

Got it?
I sure as eff hope so.

But sadly the men who need to read this,
WILL NOT.

And to the rest of you men out there,
who this does not apply too.

THANK YOU!!!!🙌

Keep doing you!
The world needs more GOOD MEN.

Okay rant over.

As Always,
Stop Existing ( And settling for so little) & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Want to learn what women really want?
Stop allowing average or worse into your love life.
Explore this global workshop for men to help you become a superior man in bed and outside of it. Learn about women.
Check it out here at its current discounted price.

 

You Have Not Earned Her Depth! ( Guest Author Post)

You can’t jump right in!

You have to make her feel you
You have to slowly earn her trust
You have to stroke her heart until she opens

And when you think she is open and you have found your way in… keep going because you’re not even halfway there.

There are a million barriers and blocks that are still in place and your ability to hold her in every sense of the word, earn her true trust, and expand her heart are the only way past these walls.

You think that because you’ve had her body that you have her heart. You are a fool.

You haven’t even tasted a drop of her sexual depth and you won’t until you hold her…

I mean really hold her!
Stand in the heat of her fire and don’t run

You spout pretty words but these words mean nothing to a heart that has heard them before. The feminine doesn’t want your false promises. The feminine wants your presence, your truth, and to be explored in all ways.

You MUST keep the dance going.
You MUST keep diving deeper
You MUST throw her into ecstatic bliss outside of the bedroom as much as inside the bedroom.

You say you want her…. prove it.
You say you desire her… show it.
You say you hunger for her depth… then stop being lazy AF with her heart!

You can’t just walk into a woman’s world and expect her to give herself to you. The beauty of a woman is also her complexity. There are so many layers and they won’t be shown to you until you have proven yourself trustworthy to be shown these depths. And then…. SURPRISE!!! You will find more depths to be explored.

Let me share a quick story.

I was with a man that I had known lightly at an intimate level. In all honesty, we didn’t know each other at any great depth but the energy was intriguing and so we explored.

Though in conversation one day he told me he wanted me to share the depths with him of things that had been going on… to trust him, to rip my heart open for him, to see behind my walls.

I got PISSED!!! Yes, I was severely angry at this moment.

How DARE he ask this of me!!!
He hadn’t done a bit of work to earn my heart.
What made him think he was worthy of my trust when there was no stroking at all.

He wanted to “Dry F*ck” my emotions.
No thank you!
That doesn’t sound pleasant.

So I could be left sore, bleeding, and damaged on the ground when he walked away for months not to speak to me again?

He spoke beautiful words
He was amazingly attractive
He was seductive in his touch
He was playful

But I wasn’t into games with my heart
And he didn’t put the effort in of truly stroking my depth
Allowing the true awakening of my arousal.

And if you drop a woman… you close her off even deeper and put your own barriers in the way.

This isn’t about sex… a woman can give you sex. We can easily go in and have what appears to be amazing sex but it’s only the tip of the iceberg of what you could have.

If you want her and I mean really and truly want her…
You have to be willing to go all in.
You have to take the time to open her up.
And I promise you that when you think she is opened to you, that there is more to still be explored.
And the second you stop exploring is the second you will be locked out of heaven!

Go explore your woman’s depth and I promise you will find your depth.
But unless you want to release her fire towards you…
Don’t expect or demand a depth you have not earned.
Yes, you have to earn it!

Sending you all …

Love, Light & Blessings,

Addison Bell

Perfect Moments.

Perfect moments.
We all have them.
We all want more of them.
And we often miss them when they are before us.

We miss them because we look for non-perfect moments more than we do perfect ones.
And just like miracles,
which happen frequently,
we believe that they are hard to come by,
and only catch the one’s that shoot off fireworks right in front of our face.

Perfect moments,
yes, this is what my topic of today is on.
As I sit here on this beautiful morning looking over the ocean and the cliffs in front of the plateau am resting on,
the Jamaican sun rises behind me,
a cool tropical breeze blows across me,
There is no one out here currently,
it my little private spot in Jamaica for the moment.

I breathe in this moment,
as I find gratitude for it,
and gratitude for the moments of yesterday.
The souls that crossed my path,
the moments that could have gone one way but went another,
the experiences,
the laughter,
the times of not knowing what to expect,
and breathing into the opportunity for life to bring me something.

Perfect moments.
They are all around us.
If we let them reveal themselves,
we find that they are like lost lovers from our past that we wish we could have another moment with,
they come to us,
they come to us with the expectation to embraced,
they come to us with the desire to awakened in our arms,
they come to us wanting to be seen,
and provided the space,
the awareness to show themselves.

They want us to bask in them,
to taste them,
to dance.
But these perfect moments,
we miss.

We miss the opportunities that they carry with them out of the fear of opening the door to something that we are uncomfortable with,
or the belief that we are not worthy of a perfect moment.
Just like so often we belief that we are not worthy of a perfect lover,
or a perfect financial increase,
or perfect health,
or perfect work.

We carry with us in place of all that tries to make itself known the concept that these things are hard to come by.

The idea, that they are not for us.
They are for the special people,
and that is often not us.

But here is the thing I want to share with you this amazing morning,
the thing is that perfect moments are your reality.

Miracles are your reality.
Opportunities are your reality.
Perfect lovers,
Financial abundance,
Incredible health,
and so much more,
all those things you desire and crave that are good and fulfilling are your reality.

The way to have them manifest consistently for you is through your expectation of them.

You MUST EXPECT.
You MUST KNOW and have clarity around them.
You MUST change your belief structures around what you call into your life,
and this means that if you want to be lucky in life,
then proclaim that you are lucky.
And when your vibration,
your expectation is in alignment and turned on to that that you desire,
it WILL just come to you.
Or maybe I should say you will come to it.
Because it is YOU,
not it that must bring your vibration into alignment.
You will never get what you desire to change its frequency,
It just is.

So what is it that you want in your life?
What do you want to start claiming in this perfect moment for your life?

Know that you are the BOSS BABY!
You always have been and you will never not be.
This world will bend for you,
it will manifest your desires,
and you can always tell where the perfect moments are,
by staying tuned into your vibration,
your flow.

Listen to your heart.
Allow yourself to feel.
And that means to feel the moment.
The perfect moment,
even if it appears to be a perfect storm, ‘it is offering to you of itself,
that which will guide you to the next opportunity,
a step closer to all that you want,
as long as you are in tune to it and willing to see.

Create your desired life today.

Claim it Baby!
You are worthy of a perfect moment.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.