It’s not your NORM.
But it feels like it is.
It may be common,
it may be abundant in your life,
But I swear to you…
It’s not your NORM.
And what am I referring too?
I am referring to that feeling of anger.
That feeling of fear.
That feeling of judgment, bitterness, shame, guilt,
Or even questioning.
Your worry is not normal.
Your suffering is not normal.
No matter how prevalent it may seem,
It’s still is not your NORM.
I tell you this with certainly,
That when you feel out of sorts,
when you are caught in negative emotion,
When you feel rageful, vengeful and vindictive.
This is not normal.
This is not who you are.
You sit in such comfort with your chronic ideas of what just is. Accepting life for how you have been told to view it. You watch your life drift by never fully engaging with ALL that you are.
Always searching for happiness,
But only ever gaining small morsels of it at best.
Believing that the drama is normal.
That its just how life is.
But you KNOW at your core its not true.
You know because you are looking for who you are always. You feel the seperation from your truth.
From your SOUL.
There is this strange calling inside of you.
A feeling of something more.
A sensation of your greatness.
But you are trapped under the misery that feels like the reality you must live.
It’s not your NORM.
Your norm is that of love.
Of feeling good.
Now that may sound a bit 60’s flowers child for you.
A little too new age even.
But its the actual truth of who you are and what your state of normal is to be and always is at your SOUL level.
The discord you feel is simply because you are not looking at any given situation through the eyes of God or SOUL. You are viewing it from the disadvantage point of forgetfulness of who YOU ARE.
You have turned your back and closed your eyes to love and THIS is what is causing your worry, fear and suffering.
But there is blessing in your pain
The blessing is the lesson of learning what you do mot want from life and the building of desire for what you do want.
All you need do to embrace the life you want so badly for is to STOP ACCEPTING this ill state of feeling.
Stop allowing yourself to fall prey to what you have always perceived as normal and instead see it for the blessing that it is.
There to reveal to you that you are out of alignment with SOUL.
That you are buying into a faulse reality instead of what is true and you are putting value on things that do not matter nearly as much as you believe.
Soul is not upset about that car cutting you off on the highway.
Soul is not upset that your child drew on the wall.
Soul is not upset that your spouse is not acting the way you want or think you need.
Soul is not upset that the government is doing what it is doing or that your friends said the things they said.
Soul knows that all happens for a reason.
That each event in life is stepping you closer to what you want and that the ONLY thing holding you back is this crazy concept of what you call normal.
Are you ready to embrace the truth?
Are you ready to finally say YES TO SOUL?
Then take the step needed.
The only step ever needed and let go of upur suffering.
Your worry and fear.
Your regrets and your shame.
Let go of your needing someone or something to be different then what it is.
Let go of your you negative vibe.
And JUST LET YOUR HEART BE FELT.
Your soul lead.
You know who you are.
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
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“There I was more wet and turned on then I had been during the course of our hour and half of love making. It was in this moment of exasperated passion that he chose to introduce a new toy to our adventure. A large microphone looking vibrator that when he powered it on I could hear the clinging of the ring on his finger. At first he teased my nipples with its pulses and then slowly moved it down the front on my body, crossing my abdomen and then resting it on my pubic bone. My breathing quickened and I had to remind myself to remain present and breathe deeper. As I lay there focusing on my breath and trying to allow myself to be penetrated by the orgasmic vibration my lover moved this pulsing toy down a notch more to where it now would rest on and tease my clit. It’s vibration was so intense I could feel an orgasm arising within only seconds. My muscles tightened and quivered. I could feel my body wanting to let go into this rapture, but something was stopping me. Something was holding me in my mind and not allowing me to be fully expressed in this pleasure. He could sense that I was not surrendering completely and without a remark he moved from where he was resting between my legs to standing by my head that was almost hanging off the side of the bed. His thick gorgeous cock erect and strong now teasing my lips and mouth as his hand guided my hand to holding the vibrator. Softly encouraging me to place it where it felt most pleasurable. There I lay naked on these white sheets, full frontal view exposed, vibrator in hand and on my pussy, pulsating its lips and clit while devouring his ‘wand of light.’ My body begging me to just release into the orgasm, my mind wandering, unable to just let go. My thoughts bouncing from:
“OMG, I really needed this, Mmmmmmm….”
To “I wonder if he is really enjoying this. What is he thinking right now? God I must look horrible in this light, legs open wide and quivering like this, Lord I hope I don’t have anything in my nose, this is the wrong angle to be seen in…Should I look into his eye’s right now?”
Fearing I was making an ill face, that my stretch marks or the slight sag of my breasts might be a turn off I found myself unable to connect to the fact that I was being gifted with a most blissful moment with one of my favorite men. I could feel the orgasm growing tired of fighting for its life and on the cusp of giving way to numbed out flesh. It was in this moment that my lover chose to push me over the orgasmic edge and bring my focus to only one thing.
“God, you look so sexy, so arousing. I love watching your body. I could do this forever.”
With his complimenting words of how he was turned on and getting pleasure from just seeing me and how he enjoyed our sexing, I was able to release my mind and all the worry, fear and insecurity that was holding me back. I relaxed and opened myself to the moment therefore being penetrated fully by the orgasm. Heart thumping faster, blood rushing to my genitals, and my mouth getting as wet as my pussy. I wanted to feel him pressing into me in every way. I wanted to feel the earth move within my being while wrapped around him. I heard him moan with each flick of my tongue and suck of my mouth. Each moan injecting into my body more arousal, until I could no longer with hold the eruption. “
Truly we have no concept how powerful our words can be to another. Our messages shared in times of sexing can bring extra connection, depth and intimacy into the moment. Our statements of love and appreciation, our compliments and encouragements can free our lovers to fully experience themselves and us alike. Supportive love filled words can give your partner the nudge needed to surrender to bliss and open them to feeling the complexity and beauty of the moment.
Men and women alike dance with shame, guilt, stress and fear when they are revealed during sex and often our concerns fall toward how we are performing, what we are appearing like to our partner and if we are “making” them happy. We also experience times when stress from work, family, health, or finances might keep us mind focused and not in our body where we can taste the juiciness of life. Many people even though they hunger for good and frequent sexing are shameful of their cravings because of their religious up-bringing or the ill perceptions that society holds. Often in the course of a long standing relationship or marriage partners will perform in the bedroom out of a feeling of duty causing their ‘love making’ to not be pleasurable to the body, mind or soul and instead their sexing becomes one of even more stress.
In relationships where NRE (New Relationship Energy) is still strong lovers may find it easier to go deeper in their love making and most likely are far more willing, excited and present in it as well. However, with any intimate moment that people find themselves vulnerable to another they may experience certain shut downs or at times difficulty surrendering to their partner and the orgasm. These moments when experienced can lead to many sexual issues for both men and women and if one allows this disconnect to persist for a long enough course of time they will experience (for a man) ejaculation without orgasm or limited feeling, erectile dysfunction, inability to come and an overall unconnected sensation from themselves, life and their partner. Women who consistently disconnect during sex start to experience more masculine energy in themselves, the soft, flexible, sensual nature of the feminine subsides and makes way for the harsher, direct masculine energy that men normally express. This energy will take the female into the mindset of performance and a need to just “get off” from the moment instead of surrendering into the sensual dance or full body orgasm and connection to not only her lover but to herself and all of life. If allowed to persist women will slowly loose feeling or become over sensitive in their genitals thus causing them to feel a numbness or pain during sexual contact. Their mind will constantly be in a state of worry, stress or concern. The natural luscious sexy nature of the woman will dwindle to a faint light and her mood will go from pleasant to harsh and insensitive or depressed and scared causing FOD (female orgasm disorder).
In current times these are frequent issues for both men and women alike, issues that CAN be healed. Pharmaceutical companies see the great opportunity that these issues bring forth and are quickly doing multiple studies on the sexual dysfunction epidemics that we in the western world are experiencing in greater mass. But the solutions to these problems are not going to be healed by popping another pill. Pills do not heal or fix a problem for the most part, they mask the symptoms and further burry the real issues at heart. Key world being HEART and anyone willing to do the work and develop the skills can experience a holistic therapeutic healing for such dysfunction. Matter a fact through the practice of holistic sexual healing individuals can experience greater sexual pleasure, longer lasting experiences, deeper intimacy, psychological as well as physical and emotional release of past traumatic abuse and more life satisfaction in general. A large part of sexual therapy is the reprogramming of our internal belief structure. This is done in varies ways but one of the most powerful forms of therapy is to be authentically seen.
What do I mean by being authentically seen?
A client will reveal themselves in an emotional, physical or mental fashion to the practitioner (possibly in all forms at once if doing advanced work and often all areas merge together once a client becomes strong enough to be vulnerable in one area). The practitioner will give the gift of sacred space, meaning that they will hold focus on only the client and be completely present with them, providing a safety net to just be themselves. Naked in every way, the client opens themselves to being seen authentically and the practitioner shares empowering words, affirmations, and even touch in some cases. Many clients are amazed at the healing and revelations that they have in these moments. Often people have not experienced this sort of honest, authentic caring and unconditional acceptance in their lives since they were small children. Coming from this space individuals begin to experience themselves and are able to release much of the negative dominant programs that have been running for many years. We can experience a degree of this holistic sexual therapy within our own personal relationships by practicing mindful authentic communication. Part of sexual communication is sharing compliments in intimate moments with our lovers. Such positive words work toward affirming that our partner is divine, beautiful, arousing, sensual, sexy and helps to support them in allowing themselves to surrender further into the moment and express themselves as fully as possible with us. Our compliments in times of sexing can help heal years of shame, guilt, negative self-talk, fear, self-judgment and pain. Compliments not only fertilize your lovers heart but water your lovers genitals and over all sexual arousal and connection.
“When I gave birth, that was the first time I truly let go and surrendered. And it taught me how amazing that feels. Giving birth made me realize the power of being a woman. I have so much more substance in my life.” – Beyonce
Orgasmic Womb-man Hood one of the most divine blessing that the feminine has been bestowed and yet we have been programmed to believe that these deeply spiritual and even orgasmic events in our lives are horribly painful and that we should not surrender ourselves to them but instead block these precious orgasmic moments of life transformation with anesthesia or short-circuit the whole event and have a C-section. This naked musing is posing the question to all women and men who dare to consider another side to the Miracle of Life. And in the questioning of the possibility of orgasmic birth we may also discover a different take on pain and suffering in our lives in general.
In pain you will give birth to children so claims the Holy Bible. But does that make it so? According to many for hundreds of years, yes it does. The bible said and therefore it is. But then why can over 21% of women surveyed say that they actually experienced orgasm during birth?
Being a mother, myself and having experienced labor five times and soon to be six, I can say that suffering and pain are not always there. At least not in the way that we perceive them and truthfully the lesson here is just that. Our expectations change the way pain is perceived.
When we look at the orgasmic gift of birth we will discover that the same organs that are stimulated during sexual orgasm are also being stimulated during labor. As Christane Northrup, M.D. author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom has said, “The molecules of nature’s ecstasy are released in high quantities during labor.” Therefore it is simply science that a woman can have an orgasm during child birth and many women today are looking at possible ways to increase their chances of doing just this. I am one of them!
In my previous labors I did indeed feel pain, however I never experienced the sort of trauma that Hollywood would have us believe it is. Unfortunately for many women that I know they did not have the same more pleasurable experiences that I had. There is a lot that goes into it though and much like in other areas of life when we expect to experience pain we tense our muscles and our stress levels go up, causing our pain to increase. But what if we actually learned how to surrender to this state of human experience?
What if we actually found romance and a sensual aspect to the painful events that all human beings must and do live through? What if instead of dreading pain and KNOWING that we were going to suffer, we decided to lose our fear and inhabitations and move toward the pain?
On the other side of ALL pain in our human experience is human ecstasy. But we can only experience these points of high yummieness if we are willing to surrender fully into it and transform the pain into sensational life energy. When we surrender and give permission to those we are with to also surrender with us into our humanness we open the doorway to Orgasm. Weather it is in laboring a baby, a business, a divorce, or something else we step into our manifestional vortex of transformation through the power of surrender.
A key note to this process that is among one of the most difficult for our society today, is to NOT medicate, mask, block or numb the pain of experience. In today’s world we are constantly being fed someway to “prevent” or “stop” painful events. We are told that we should want the highs in life but not the low’s and in order to achieve this we can pop a pill, have a drink, veg out to our favorite numbing event, or discharge our stress energy through unconscious sex or over indulging in some other way. All of these “anesthesia of physical experience” do nothing more than cause harm. They do not provide more highs and less low’s, they bring us to ground NUMB.
But when we look out into this world what do we see?
Our world is a waste land of human zombies. We are plagued by a sexually repressed culture. One where more and more people are turning inward and shutting down. Depression, anxiety, sexual issues, mental illness, anger, fatigue, and dis-ease are all at an all time high. More and more cases of people suffering from being bipolar, ADD, ADHD, and stress induced illnesses are being reported. Sexual crimes and abuse in many fashions are also growing at phenomenal rates. This is what “Lost” looks like. This is what “numb” looks like.
Most people never tap into and harness their greatest resources: their “procreative” life force energy which can give increased energy, mental clarity, creativity and fulfillment in our lives. It is this same energy that a woman can tap into during labor and transform her pain into Orgasm. It is this divine energy that can catapult our world and heal us at levels that traditional medicine and therapy cannot even perceive. Rapidly too!
So how do more women experience Orgasmic Womb-man hood?
How do more people in general embrace this powerful liberating force and stop the insanity of being a zombie?
We have to learn how to surrender in grace not fear to ourselves and our intimate relationships first. Followed up with embracing the fact that we HAVE NOT been taught how to love, sex or labor in life, but that there are people who can help. We have to be willing to step into those dark spaces of our subconscious and allow ourselves to really be seen, heard and felt. And we MUST recognize that how learning to harness our sexual potential is a Master Key to harnessing our life potential. Just as with the final contractions in labor we know that our sweet innocent angel will soon be in our arms, we also must know that with the final contractions of our sexual orgasm WE will soon be in the arms of our dream life.
Everything is interconnected and there is nothing that has not come from mind.
Our Divine Power to Create like the Creator is housed withing Our Wombs and in the embrace of Orgasm.
Create the life you desire! Live Orgasmicaly today and every moment and transform those rough, edgy spots that could be perceived as pain and suffering into surrender so that you can bask in Orgasmic Bliss.
I’m worried about getting and maintaining my erections…
By Mare Simone, Advanced Certified Tantra Educator
Men become victims of the myth of the Perpetual Erection. It has always existed, but it’s become even more destructive because of the way in which the issue is treated in most pornography, which always features a purported Superman. That’s not reality. Often porn stars use Viagra or “fluffers”, women whose job it is to keep them aroused and hard for their performance.
It often seems as though performance anxiety and the pressure that goes along with it is the culprit that causes impotency and perpetuates it. Often I’ve found that when a man doesn’t put pressure on himself nor does his partner, the problem resolves itself, just being present and thoroughly enjoying the moment.
In Tantric sex, it’s not so important how hard your erection is, how long it lasts, or whether or not you are even hard at all.
Not only is it possible to have an orgasm without ejaculating, I have also known men who have had profound full body orgasms and multiples, without even being erect!
There are many other delightful ways that you can join with your partner to create great pleasures together, using your hands or mouth that don’t require an erection.
Tantria teaches you: how to channel your sexual energy throughout your entire body and to your partner’s body… How to have non-genital, full body orgasms…
How to enter into an exquisite spiritual/sexual state… to feel the energy flowing right through you, into your partner and back into you… creating a continuous stream of energy that flows between you. It’s incredibly satisfying! And you can do all this without necessarily having an erection.
Interestingly I have found that when sexual partners are not so concerned about whether the man has a full erection or not, the problem often ceases on its own, without needing to be fixed.
Taking the pressure off and not having to perform gives way for a deeper more gratifying experience of relaxed arousal and tremendous pleasure.
Mare Simone is an Advanced Certified Tantra Educator through the Source School of Tantra Yoga and lives in Southern California. She travels the world teaching Tantra. You can read more about her at www.maresimone.com.
Article Originally Posted on Source Tantra Blog
Premature ejaculation (PME) is very common in males of all ages. Premature ejaculation is also common in the animal kingdom. In the animal kingdom sometimes fast is good; in order to deliver the sacred seeds of procreation as fast as possible or before someone else does. On the other hand, even in the animal kingdom, a prolonged sexual process creates physiological conditions that evoke specific levels of arousal and lubrication, and optimal positioning and penetration which increase the reception of the sacred seeds of procreation.
According to the “The Pleasure Coach”, “As boys masturbating or with a partner, they often trained themselves to be pre-mature ejeculators as they often do this quickly so as not to get caught. As adults, many men do not realize that extending the pleasure by slowing down can add a whole other dimension to their self-pleasuring.”
The act of sexual union not only provides procreation, but creates intimacy and connectedness.
Traditional professionals debate on the causes and treatment of premature ejaculation in men. Some believe that premature ejaculation is due to inheritance because individuals that experience premature ejaculations often have first-degree relatives that have had similar experiences; whether this is genetic or cultural is debatable.
Other researchers have noted that men who experience premature ejaculation have a faster neurological response in the pelvic muscles. Also, physiological complications such as urethritis, prostatitis, hyperthyroidism, obesity, and erectile dysfunction have been identified as attributed causes of PME. Tension in intimate relationships is commonly documented as causes as well.
Traditional treatments often involve talk therapy, recommended exercises to do at home and sometimes medication. Unfortunately, most traditional therapies focusing on dulling the sensations; psychologically (thinking about something else), physically (use of condoms, creams and analgesics to dull the sensation) and chemically (medication that dulls all sensation mentally and physically).
The Tantric Therapy view is much more holistic, natural and actually engages individuals to expand their sensations and experience.
Tantric Therapy View
First, while there can be a physiological issue, premature ejaculation is totally and completely a natural occurrence. It is nothing to be ashamed off. However, premature ejaculation can limit a man’s intimate connection with himself and add challenging dynamics to relationships.
I have practiced traditional insurance reimbursable psychotherapy for 16-years. Tantric Therapy treats the psychological, physiological and adds a critical spiritualogical component creating a holistic approach. Where traditional therapies can be effective, the holistic approach of Tantric Therapy is 100 times more effective in treating premature ejaculation (PME). I often compare the idea of only doing talk therapy to treat PME to the idea of just talking to someone that really needs physical therapy after an injury or surgery. A physical therapist could tell a person how to best do physical therapy on themselves or even teach a friend or beloved to help them; but most agree it would not be as effective. Actual physical therapy is 100 times more effective in healing physical injuries than talking about; why shouldn’t the treatment of PME?
Tantric Therapy does not treat the symptoms or even the causes of PME. Tantric Therapy focuses on the core of an individual’s frame of reference and center of relativity in their sacred relationship with themselves and with others.
Working with men; I recommend individual counseling, bodywork and couples counseling.
Tantric Therapy begins first with gathering an extensive history regarding not only sexual functioning, but also a developmental (childhood to adulthood) history, including a family history and discussion relative to intimate relationships. In addition, a physiological history is also gathered to rule out medical conditions. Also, information is gathered about the person’s spiritual perspectives on relationships and sacred sexuality. This process is not done to identify problems but to get the individual to engage and open themselves up.
In Tantric Therapy, sessions commonly begin with discussing and exploring the concepts of Sacred Sexuality from a psycho/spiritual/sexual perspective. Genuinely acknowledging the Sacredness of relationships often has a profound impact on individual’s views of Sacred Sexuality, intimacy, spirituality and on sexual functioning – including PME.
The experience of Tantra is to open or uncoil the Kundalini within. Awakening the Kundalini within not only elevates our energy and the contact we have the Divine; but sexual energy is not manifested physiologically but spiritually. The sustained spiritual union with oneself and between partners can lead bliss.
In addition, treatment teaches/focuses mental centeredness, relaxation, and awareness.
Also, recommendations are made for diet and regular physical activities; such as yoga.
I often counsel/educate men on the physiology/anatomy of intimacy.
Often the review of male physiology/anatomy includes the functioning of their bodies. I almost always recommend men doing bodywork sessions female practitioners. Bodywork sessions are very intimate and profoundly effective. All body work sessions begin with a developing therapeutic intimacy – creating a safe intimate connection/relationship for sharing and healing.
Most bodywork sessions involve the practitioner bathing and massaging the man to induce relaxation and intimacy. Breathing exercises are incorporated as well; making breathing delicate and slowing the breath. When an agreed level of relaxation and intimacy is established a more intense focus can be explored with the man’s Lingam, perineum, and sacred spot.
During a bodywork session; a practitioner will familiarize a man with his anatomy in a new way or sometimes touch a man in a way that he has only touched or explored himself. During these sessions; it doesn’t matter if the man is erect or not and often men ejaculate early in the session.
The muscles surrounding the perineum, Lingam and anus of massages and relaxed. The exploration of Scrotum elasticity, responsiveness, effects of temperature and sensitivity are explored. In addition, the connectedness of the perineum is explored. The stimulation of the prostate is explored as well; first internally and internally. When erect, the flexibility and positioning of the Lingam is manipulated. Often during sessions, men will become erect and then become un-erect. Ejaculating several times is also common. During sessions, men are taught how to squeeze their muscles around their prostate. This is done with the practitioner feeling the squeeze around the prostate.
Another important aspect is to have a in-depth conversation regarding masturbation. Often men train themsevles to ejaculate quickly; therefore some men are conditioned for PME.
Practitioners work with men in the bathroom; and encourage them to begin to urinate and then stop and continue again helping them become more aware of the internal sensations. While men can be and are instructed to do this by themselves; having a practitioner accompany/instruct them in-person has been more effective. Some practitioners will have men drink a lot of water before and during sessions and then have them stand and urinate into a jar and train them to start and stop.
The most common technique is to massage a man’s Lingam and prostate simultaneously and have the man signal when he feels the sensation that he is coming close to ejaculating and then stop the stimulation and encourage the man to squeeze. This process will not only profoundly help with PME but guide the man to experience multiple orgasms and recirculate his energy.
Overall, the most effective approach is to associate arousal with the connection to the Divine and have ejaculations be a conscious choice rather than a reflex. This is accomplished with Tantric Rituals, teachings of the male multi-orgasmic response and a lot of positive love and support.
You may also review Duncan Knights work at www.tantricproviders.com
I have been Tantric Therapist for 15+ years, specializing in helping individuals and couples improve their relationships and make them Sacred. My Tantric Therapy practice is a combination of psychotherapy, massage therapy and spiritual guidance. I consider women Sacred and Divine and guide them to realize their Divinity; and teach couples to worship each other’s Divinity.