Wanting To Be Washed Over and Scared To Death Of It.

One of those days when my energy goes to left field…

 

 

Or maybe it’s right field.

Or maybe right at the pitcher.

IDK.

It’s always interesting though on days like this where I feel the arousal of life moving through me,

I feel the hunger to devour every moment,

and the tugs of the past that will always sway around in my soul, reminding me of what I thirst still for.

 

On days like today,

the universe is quick to remind me of my energetic connections,

of how those fleeting yet powerful thoughts evoke response,

and how quick I can manifest many opportunities into my life to experience everything that I am thirsting for.

 

This quenching comes through multiple sources however,

and me being human just like you want it the way I want it and all in one package.

 

Even though I fully understand, appreciate and even value the multiple packages that can show up in my life,

There are some things that I crave for that I JUST WANT IN THE WAY I WANT.

 

And I know without a doubt that I can have them too.

I have tasted of these delicacies before.

I have been overtaken by the depth of fulfillment that can be experienced all from one source.

And it is truly intoxicating.

 

AND I WANT THAT!

 

I don’t really have a ton of patience to wait for it.

I question if I am just wasting time,

settling,

or if I just imagined it before.

Or perhaps the truth is that those sorts of things only come once in life,

and when gone they leave us with this beautiful suffering of knowing that it will never be again.

 

Perhaps they are only so lovely as to walk through our lives because of the deep pain that they bare on our soul.

 

Or perhaps,

they are there to make us question ourselves, or to learn how to be better. As if to present a lesson for us to spend the rest of our days unraveling.

 

IDK.

 

I truly don’t know.

But what I do know is that these blessed little and big moments  in my life are a feast that I will always run toward and sit at the table of.

 

I know that when presented I am eager and hungry to explore IF….

 

and perhaps, this is yet another one of those life moments that  will forever leave its mark,

and no matter how deep it may scratch into my flesh and heart,

I know for sure one thing.

IT IS WORTH IT.

 

How can something that can be such an achilles heel to us be worth anything other than pain and cause us anything other than a major stumbling block in our life?

 

These things can be like quicksand to us if we get to caught up in them,

and yet we dive in,

head first.

and we search for them.

 

It is because without them,

without the knowing and the deep dive into the ravines of everything that they offer us,

we will NEVER KNOW OURSELVES FULLY.

and with that we can never know love.

We can never feel that true sense of abandon,

where we surrender into nothingness that is everything.

Where all that we are is seen and unraveled like the lessons that we gain from these moments and people who allow us time to bask in the enjoyment of the experience of life with them.

 

And so we wander through our days,

lost in search for yet this experience again. Ever so hungry to find it,

ever so thirsty to be drowned by it,

and we find our hearts feeling broken.

We find our minds screaming at us in dissatisfaction,

that we are so silly as to be hunting for yet another moment.

 

Trying to convince ourselves that, that was all the sampling of happiness, connection, love and joy that we get for this lifetime.

Giving all of our power over to just this one moment.

And feeling like we have been shredded into a million pieces and no one cares,

no one sees,

no one hears our pleas to be held yet again in this beauty,

this agonizing beauty that we fear and hunger for all in the same.

 

And then,

What do we crazy fickle humans do?

 

We manifest into our lives….

That is what we do.

We call it in and we choose to disregard it.

Because we fear its wrath on our lives.

We fear the pain.

We fear the heartache and the loss.

The death of something.

And so we deny allowing it into formation.

We say no to the very thing that we hunger for.

 

And we choose to sit in agony that we have chosen out of the fear of if we said yes to our dreams and our desires,

if we allowed ourselves to transform and become everything that we need to become to fully merge with this new exploration and blessing,

and we convince ourselves that this sort of suffering is better than the having of yet another altering beautiful moment  that we run the risk of losing somewhere down the road.

And so we sit idle in our today,

and stay that way,

hungry.

 

Never allowing our thirst to be quenched by the waterfalls that can carry us away to our own divinity.

To the uniting of self and love.

To the potential of who we are and how we can dance in the currents of our transformation.

 

Yes this is the journey of the fickle human being.

That you and I  both are.

We will forever be captivated by our hungers,

our wanting and earning,

and to those we must awaken to our nature to torment ourselves in the not having.

 

Because when we seek…

when we ask…

It is always granted.

It is never denied by God/universe.

 

The denying is all up to us.

 

So what will we choose?

 

To have?

Or to have not?

 

It is up to you and it is up to me,

and this is how powerful we truly are.

We have the power to shackle ourselves from EVERYTHING,

yes everything that we want for.

 

What do you choose?

I know my answer.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn how you can one and for all get out of your own way? I get how difficult it can be.

How it feels like there is no way that you can ever achieve the life, the relationship,

the abundance and health that you crave so deeply for.

I understand how easy it is to contribute all that beauty and love from your past to one person,

or experience.

 

But I tell you this,

you are the creator of your life and you are worthy of thriving.

Let me show you the path to living unbound and turned on today.

*Photo Credit @ #DandeLionImages

If You Were Ready Then It Would Be Happening! Here is What To Do.

I know what you want.
I totally get it beautiful.
You want to just skip to the finish line.
You want to avoid the struggle,
avoid the work.
Move quickly past all that stuff that you keep getting told you need to do but that you have been doing,
you did it all last year,
the year before even.
And this year it is simply just too much to do more of that.
So much like a kid fresh out of high school,
the temptation of taking a year off from schooling,
with the claims of coming back,
you too are wanting to just take some time off.
 
Yet, life seem’s to be nagging at you.
Life is disrupted,
you are getting more and more out of alignment.
And with the turbulence that you face day after day,
you feel more drained.
There is no energy to do the things that you think about doing.
There is no time to get started on that project,
to step into the things that you were doing or the things that you know that you need to be doing or that you feel called to do.
It’s all just so difficult.
You feel meh about it.
 
Don’t you?
 
But then as you sit back and you look at everything,
you wonder how,
how can I go from here to there?
How can I do it without having to apply myself any more than what I have already done?
How can I get what I want,
have what I desire,
but not have to go through the grounds of learning anymore.
 
I mean I am good right where I am at.
I can do that.
I can do this.
I may not understand what I am to do with any of it,
I might be feeling lost,
and uncertain.
But do I really need to ask for help?
Do I really need guidance of any sort?
Do I really need to “learn” or “study” for anything else?
 
And so you sit.
You sit and you wish.
You ponder.
You question.
But take action????
 
LOL…
That was a thing for last year.
 
This year, action is taking a break.
And with it so is your momentum.
You are certainly filling up your desire boat with things you want.
You are learning about what you do not want.
But action is out to sea and is not in your scope of concern yet.
 
And so you shall sit and watch your life move by in slow motion.
You will see your goals rise up and sink back down,
because the momentum that was there to manifest them is slowing. The focus and love and care that you were giving them in positive attention is not there.
It cannot be there.
Your focus is on the not having of them.
Your focus is on what is not happening.
Your focus is on your lostness.
Your dismay.
Your fatigue.
Your fear.
You mehness.
 
Try and truly feel into that desire for whatever it is that you crave. Can you feel the desire? Can you really?
Or is it just a thought that has you believing that you are desiring, but there is no emotion attached to it?
Or the emotion is of the not having it.
The sadness of what has not shown up in your life.
It’s time to get truthful with yourself.
It’s time to realize that the reality that you are living is nothing more than what you have created from your feeling of not wanting to step in fully.
Of wanting to just take the year off.
To avoid it.
 
Life is just fine as it is right now, right?
 
If that was so, then you would not have that underlying feeling.
You know the feeling that I speak of.
The feeling that is slowly eating away at you from deep within.
That feeling.
Yes that feeling right there.
the one that you try and cover up,
you try and hide with food, movies, entertainment, family activities, alcohol, drugs, illness, busy work.
Yes that feeling.
 
You cannot hide your feeling from God.
God knows you at a DNA vibrational level.
There is no hiding your truth.
That fear,
that depression,
those negative idea’s and thoughts that just keep popping up and destroying your day,
yes they are all over you beautiful.
You are bathed in them and they are repulsive.
They are keeping you away from your desired life experience.
 
But if you want to change it,
then you are the ONLY ONE who can change it.
You must choose to take ACTION.
Stop sitting there in that low vibe energy beautiful,
stop focusing on the addictive energy of crashing and burning, of loosing and leaving, of not having.
Stop focusing in on all that you do not see manifesting.
And TAKE effing action toward what you want.
 
You say you want to have a thriving business?
Then get a mentor. Get your message out there DAILY.
Be seen and heard or shut up and let go of this dream.
 
You say you want a better body?
Then stop eating fast food and soda, drink more water, eat more healthy foods and get your a*s working out DAILY.
 
You say that you want better sex?
Then start having more sex. Speak your needs, your boundaries and ASK for what you want DAILY.
 
You say that you want to find your soulmate?
Then look within and do some deep work on yourself. Get a coach or a mentor and gain some clarity, let go of the past, do the work to manifest the soulmate DAILY.
 
You say you want more money?
Then stop thinking about the money that you do not have.
Don’t start your day with looking at your bank and confirming that you don’t have it. Instead do the mindset work, the manifestation work to call in the money that you want. Get a coach or a mentor and ask for help DAILY.
 
It’s a choice.
It’s a commitment.
It’s you calling it in.
We live in an attraction based world beautiful.
You attract to you what you think and feel about most.
You want what you want,
but you seem to be under the misconception that you can just ignore it, just not do anything to change your thinking,
your feeling or attention and that it will happen.
Yes life is magical,
yes you can manifest that shiz overnight.
But you have to FOCUS on what you want from a place of having, loving and not in fear.
 
It’s about time that you stop wanting to avoid the stretch.
It time you stop avoiding the field of learning and growing that makes you READY to have what you want.
 
Think of it like this,
It’s sorta like you want to be a yoga teacher but you never want to take a yoga class. You just want to get paid and have the body without the training.
 
That is goofy right?
 
Yet that is what you are doing when you try and skip any piece of your process.
When you try and avoid the perceived pain,
the perceived stretching that will be required of you to gain your dreams and desires.
 
In your current condition,
YOU ARE NOT READY TO RECEIVE.
 
But you can be!
Make the choice.
Make the decision.
Make the commitment.
And TAKE THE EFFING ACTION.
 

Stop F-cking around with this year and your life!

 
And remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
 
It’s not too late to reach out and get the coaching and mentoring that you need to have that F-ck Yes! lifestyle and live in total yumminess. You have been wanting to step up and have the money, love, health, wellbeing and abundance that you have been dreaming about.
 
So stop dreaming and take action.
Let’s make 2019 YOUR Year of Miracles.
 
Grab my application for FREE consultation for coaching and mentoring NOW before the offer expires on May 22nd, 2019. A $199 value FREE – Must book your consult on or before deadline date. I work with people all over the world!!!!
 
https://www.tantrictransformation.com/services-request-form/