You Don’t Own My Sex!

You don’t own my sex!
You think that you want to own my sex. 
You believe that it is love based.
You have been told that if someone loves you that they will not need, desire or be with anyone else. 
You think that ownership is love. 

But since when is slavery of any sort love?
Relationship slavery, 
sexual slavery is no more love than is
to brand and tag another human being and sell them to the highest bidder as though they are live stock.

That may seem offensive to some. 
It may seem extreme to others. 
I am pretty sure that many are flabbergasted in this moment that anyone would say such a thing in today’s world. 

But seriously, owning someone else in any fashion or form is NOT LOVE.

And I can tell you that you have no right to own another persons sex.

It’s far more than the genitals that I speak of here. 
It is one’s core.
It is one’s creative energy.
It is one’s soul.
Their guidance system if they are tapped into it. 
Our alignment to life, 
to our path, 
and all that we can be stems from this place within ourselves. 

Our sex. 
It hubs all that we are. 
It is our primal, 
passionate, 
truth.

Our GPS.

And you think that it is loving to own. 
That it is loving to sign over the papers to such a thing.
That it is someones duty, 
or a rightful expectation to demand that one give this to anyone?

Really?

May I challenge those of you who read this and want to spout back some negative comment, 
some biblical quote, 
some moral statement as you believe it to be, 
may I challenge you to ask yourself this….

“What do I get out of owning another person’s sex?”

You need to get real here.
Because the truth of your desire and your fake love is found in the answer to this question IF….

IF you can be truthful in your answer.

And for those of you who cannot let me answer it for you.

Power.
Control.
Security.

And guess what?
All of these are fake.
Just like the love that you are claiming that “makes” you do it.

Love has nothing to do with ownership.
Love has nothing to do with having power over someones anything.
Love has nothing to do with security.
Let alone demanding and trying to force security.

Love is a risk.
Love is powerful.
Love is freeing.
Love is unconditional. 
And it has NOTHING to do with our sex.

Sure you have far better, 
more orgasmic, 
more connective and intimate, 
sex with love at play then without.

It takes you from two bodies rubbing against each other and enjoying some friction to a true opening, 
and blissed out state. 

But love has nothing to do with sex.
And it DOES NOT mean that we love someone more or less if we have sex with them or not.

Sex is not a barometer for love.
Sex is about feeling ones self in a most pure, authentic, real capacity. 
Through our sexing we meet ourselves. 
We feel ourselves.
And we expand in who we can be. 
Through our sexing we are offered a taste of intimacy into ourselves. 
That is what makes sex so damn intimate.

It is not intimate because we see another person naked.
It is not intimate because we are physically connecting.
It is not intimate because this other being is feeling anything or not.

It is intimate because we are experiencing all of this about OURSELVES with the assistance of another who is doing the same. 

But this form of intimacy. 
INTO – ME- I- SEE
only comes about when we are present with ourselves and no longer hiding from our shadows. 
When we are being responsible for ourselves and not looking for anyone else to fill us in any way. 
Not wanting to be completed by anyone else, 
not wanting to feel loved by anyone, 
or gain our happiness from anyone else. 
This sort of intimacy comes when we are NOT IN NEED.
But in LOVE.

Love of self.
Happy with self.
Intimacy with self.
Whole in self.
Worthy in self.

If you believe that you “need” anyone else to do any of these things for you and that equates love then you are far, far away from true love my dear.

So one more question for you to ask of yourself….

“Do I feel more loved by my partner if they do not have sex with anyone but me?”

okay maybe two questions.

“And if yes, then what about them only having sex with me, makes me feel loved, or guarantees a greater love in your opinion?”

The reality is that we harbor a lot of judgement around our sex and the sex of others. 

We condemn people for wanting sex.
We condemn people for not wanting sex.
We judge and call names, 
label and make opinions into facts that do not exist, 
based on on our judgments to make ourselves feel safe.
Feel right.
Feel moral.
Feel better than.

And if you loved.
Truly loved. 
The way love is to be, 
which is unconditional. 
Than you would see that your judgments on another’s sex and your desire to control it for them, 
is not of love,
but of ego. 
And your own insecurities around your sex and heart.

You aim to protect yourself by controlling another’s actions.
You aim to protect and make sure that pain and suffering does not befall on you, 
as if you were meant to never feel the contrast of pain in your life, 
and as if pain and growth was wrong, 
when in fact when one can lean in, 
and love through the pain. 
Through the fear.
Through all that we paint in our illusions of our ego, 
and SIMPLY LOVE.
Unconditional, 
and allow for the reality that we are to love many in many forms of the word. 
That “relationship” in any aspect is all about LOVE.
And without love, the relationship should not even be. 

So to try and control one’s love or how they choose to connect in any relationship is nothing more than an insecurity based in fear and desire to hide from one’s own expansion and feelings.

It is a fear to experience the beauty of true unconditional loving.

I challenge you today my love, 
to feel your true heart and to expand yourself and do the inquiry work so that you can have relationship based not in need and thus control, but in the beauty of surrendering to unconditional love. 

This is not written to give permission to those who lie and cheat, 
who step out of integrity and say that they just cannot be themselves. No this is not written to give any such permission. 
This is written to challenge all who read it about what sort of love they have based their relationships in and to bring up the empowering discussions of truth and honesty, coming from a place of love and intimacy. 

Communicate in love. 
Not in fear.
Stop allowing your past pains to mask your current heart.
Step out of your desire to have what is not possible, 
that requires faith, grace and communication. 
Step out of that desire, 
the desire for security and guarantee’s, 
where your “love” remains the same and tidy in a box that it was never meant to be kept in.

Because my dear, 
relationship will never be something that does not cause you pain.
It will push you to your limits. 
It will challenge your core. 
It will make you question all that you have believed and known, 
and it will ask you to stand in who you are, 
not of who you were, or will be. 

Yes my dear, 
relationship is just this and nothing more. 
It is a place where we meet ourselves in all, 
where we get to embrace if we allow, 
our hearts and heal our wounds. 
Strengthen our love and KNOW our core. 

You do not own my sex.
And your sex is not owned. 
You are a free soul. 
A free being. 

Remember this my love. 
And….
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers.”

**FUN FACT – There are five loves in this picture. And even though some are still beside me and some are no longer active roles in my life. All are still unconditionally loved by me.**

Lot’s of Cock & Under-fucked

You can ravish your woman so deeply that her surrender breaks your heart into light. – David Deida

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Lot’s of Cock & Under-fucked

” I feel nothing. I crave feeling you penetrate me deeply at a soul level but I cannot feel you even with my physical body. – Our sex is feelingless. “

I have this statement that I say sometimes about sex. It feels like I am fucking the air- it is empty and without sensation. How is this possible though when two bodies are coming together and physically connecting. Rubbing, stroking, penetrating. How can you hardly feel your partner? If at all?

So many people speak of sex ONLY from the physical level. They make it sound like sex is just sex no matter what the scenario. And for some forms of sex, sex is just sex. It is just a friction based stress release focused on the physical act and the fantasy of seeing or experiencing something that is not everyday. It is not intended or thought to be something that can penetrate your soul, provide deep purpose to ones life, alter your reality even and connect you not only to self and partner but a space where you discover all of life’s interconnectedness. This state of orgasm, of sexing is not for the timid or surface minded people of the world who are looking for further distraction and release to/from life’s troubles. This sort of sexing and orgasm is only discovered through full surrender and vulnerability. It is an extremely emotional event that can fill us with clarity, creativity, joy, bliss, tears, and heart expanding sensations. It can provide us with direction, a sense of purpose and a certainty that there is so much more that life has to offer and support. This sort of sex is healing. And science supports this.

I believe that women more so than men NEED, truly need this deeper level of connection and sex consistently in their lives. When I look out into the world and “people watch” I can point out an under fucked woman every few minutes and I have to work hard to find a properly fucked woman. Yet if I spoke to women and men alike I would hear tale after tale of the sex that was being had. This is where the misconception comes into play.

You can fuck a woman 3 times a day. Long and hard even and still ONLY be giving her your cock. She will still come out of the experience under-fucked. She may even have had some “real” orgasms. But what she is not having is sex that penetrates her very soul. What you as a man are not having, basking in or giving is sex that penetrates her soul and thus yours as well. As David Deida says, ” Penetrate your woman the way you want to penetrate the world.” – I share this quote often and what I get is the deer in the head lights look from men and women alike. The concept that a man should fuck a woman the way he wants to fuck the world and in turn be fucked open himself by the world is a hard, scary and intimidating concept to fathom. It requires a masculine that is confident, not cocky. A masculine that can allow himself to be seen and felt fully like the movie Avatar speaks of – ” I see you.” This is vulnerability. This is masculine surrender. The masculine that can open himself to his woman and know that his purpose in that moment is to not just give her dick and “make her orgasm” but to be carried to heaven through her orgasm and allow for her to take him to realms of pleasure and depth that he cannot take himself. This masculine is sexually mature. This masculine knows that the power of his cock is more than just a sexual sword to slay a woman’s sex with. He is not desiring to conquer her or control her but to be opened to her and the universe through their love making, their fucking. In doing this he not only expands his orgasm and self, he also creates a container for her to dance in. To release and be seen fully in her feminine design and orgasm. In this space the two come together and are no longer just having sex, they are gods and goddesses basking in the light of the creator and they are in their full power. Here the two can discover deeper levels of self, the universe, life and they can manifest greatness in all areas of their lives through their beautiful sexing. Here they fuck each other wide open.

So back to the title of this article – Lot’s of Cock & Under-fucked.

Ask yourself this, no matter if you are a woman or man, ” When was the last time that my sex was something more than a stress release; a duty; or focused on the physical nature of the act? When was the last time I felt so connected to my core, my soul and all of life during sex and orgasm? When was the last time my sex fulfilled me to a point that it carried me through the following week in a state of bliss?

Now answer how much “sex” am I having?

If you are having sex once a week or even twice a month, if it is the gourmet variety I am speaking of than you can be carried through on it for days and weeks. I know this for a fact. If it is of the junk food or fast food variety then you are going to wake up undernourished and hungry for more sex and most likely need your next hit of its chemicals and release to get you through the next day or two. This is where addiction sets in. This is where you are not feeding yourself or your partner well. This is under-fucked, no matter how much sex your having.

There is hope if you are a junk food sex addict.

There is hope if you have not tasted gourmet fucking for some time or ever for that matter.

There is hope for you too to experience the revelation of your deepest being through your sex.

The answers are between your legs, your ears and in your chest. The answers are found in your presence, because your presence is your power and the only sword you ever need to discover this reality.

If your sex is not leading you to your deeper purpose, then it is time to make some changes.

To learn more on this topic and conscious sexing email me today or fill out an application to work me through one of my intensive programs in person, over the phone or web today.

You deserve to be properly fucked.

The universe is craving you!!!!

Monkey See; Monkey Slam, Bam, Thank You, Ma’am!

Why Show-N-Tell Sex Ed?

Why Live demo’s?

Why offer hands on training?

This is all to TABOO!!!!

Monkey See; Monkey Slam, Bam, Thank You, Ma’am!

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It’s one thing for sex educators to talk about sex or show you pictures and graphs on a projector screen. It’s another thing entirely when sex educators show you how to do something, and invite you to ask questions… Especially when it’s not demonstrated on a piece of fruit, but on a real, live person!

Human beings are very much wired with a “monkey see, monkey do” mentality. Many of us learn best by watching. Because we are not allowed to learn about sex from watching others, our culture has turned to porn for tips and tricks in the sack.
With the ease and proliferation of free porn on the interwebs, now more than ever, porn is influencing how we behave behind closed doors (or in the back seat of our parent’s SUV). The problem with porn, in my opinion, isn’t that people are watching it; it’s that people are using porn as a How-To medium.s are very much wired with a “monkey see, monkey do” mentality. Many of us learn best by watching. Because we are not allowed to learn about sex from watching others, our culture has turned to porn for tips and tricks in the sack.

Watching porn isn’t the same as watching a qualified sex educator role model great communication techniques, ask permission, check in with their partner, get verbal permission from them before touching them, and then properly put a condom on while encouraging the spectators to ask questions.

There are several things when it comes to helping people learn about sex that are actually more easily learned if I show you the technique on a living, breathing human being and you can watch and ask us questions – an audience gets to see what “real sex” looks like. They can pick up the subtle nuances that aren’t always visible in pornography’s tightly choreographed and edited product. The more real the sex, the easier it is to grasp and transfer that feeling good and being respectful and safe has little to do with DD breasts, 12-inch cocks and squirting orgasms.

Yes, it’s a bit unorthodox by today’s standards to invite adults into a room to learn how to be a better lover by watching explicit, live demonstrations, but the simple fact is that even just talking openly about sex and intimacy in an honest and vulnerable manner is not the norm. There is so much work to be done! And there aren’t a lot of sex educators teaching explicit workshops.” — Reid Mihalko

Show-N-Tell Sex Ed

Learn to feel your partner or any lover in a way never experienced before. These workshops are designed to help answer your most sensual questions. Each workshop is designed for Single’s or those in a relationship.

 

“This could not have been a better Event and Demo. It was given with both sensitivity and information enabling me to be much more loving, respectful and talented with the woman I am with in the future. Great Thanks, Alexander, Kendal and Sharon” — Sandy from Dallas (Dec.2012 Female Genital Massage Demo Workshop)

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Over the course of my career as a Sex & Relationship Coach, Tantra Teacher I have explored many away to help my clients better grow in understanding, overcoming blockages, shame, fear, judgement’s, body image issues, relationship issues and pitfalls, and many intimate sexually related problems as well as learning how to manifest a life that they desire and deserve to live in total bliss and abundance.  One of the most powerful events as a teacher is to see your student/client excel and reach past the boundaries that they thought they had to remain fearful off. To see someone achieve their dreams in life and live abundance in ALL ways not just one idea of it.

Show-N-Tell Sex Ed allows for barriers to be pushed, questions to be answered and understanding at a much deeper level to unfold through the experiential exercises and Live Demo’s provided in a workshop. The expansion that participant achieve is unlike no other. It is a perfect solution as well to those who want to explore but are not ready for one-on-one bodywork or even a couple’s session. The ability to view and possible do some hands on learning opens gateways of education. Although Show-N-Tell Sex Ed is still a taboo for many people in society I think an easy to digest way to look at it is through the artists eye not the pornographic eye.

Anyone who takes a college art class would not be surprised or feel it taboo to have a live nude model come in to the classroom for all the students to view and draw or mold a piece of art after. This is a NORM in the classroom, just as with many educational practices for doctors to view, handle and even explore on a nude or partially nude model. I mean do you really think that a Gyno just learns out of a book and from some video’s? No, hands on learning, show-n-tell experiences, this is where the true are of education and understanding happens.

” I did not know it was possible for a man to have a full body orgasm and not come. This workshop taught me techniques that I never knew about in all of my love-making history. Thank you Kendal and Alexander.” — Debbie (Jan. 2013 Male Genital Massage Demo Workshop)

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Why is it that we as a society believe that we don’t need a deeper understanding of one of the most intimate, important and powerful parts of our lives as humans? Why do we put our sexuality and loving on the back burner? Why do we think a book is the only way to expand our sexual understanding? And  who really believes that there is some set format to learning about these intimate matters of our human experience?

No matter where you are in the world if you have the opportunity to explore a Show-N-Tell Sex Ed Workshop from a Coach/teacher DO!!!! Your life will only improve as well as your love skills!

 

Let the Artist of your bedroom out to play TODAY!!!!

-KW

 

Awakening Truth – Shaming the Vulva

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Over the last few years I have been working with men, women and couple’s. It has been an amazing path of self discovery for me as I work with everyone. One of many things that I have awoken to is how closed our society really is in the field of pleasure and sexuality. Yet we are over taken by these two things at the same time.  How is that we can constantly be sold merchandise with the appeal that if we get this or that it will make us happier, sexier, more satisfied, increase our love/sex lives and bring us bliss, yet still say that pleasure and yes sexual pleasure is not good; we should not crave it? Yet we do.

At the core of pleasure and sex for many people are our genitals. Our pussies and cocks or those of our lovers. We long to touch, taste, penetrate and feel the deep orgasmic pleasure roll through our bodies and watch this pleasure as well as feel it accumulate and release throughout our lovers. Yet because sex and pleasure are so taboo in society we really have no idea what we are doing and how best to achieve maximum results from ourselves or with a partner(s). This is especially the case with women and their vajaja’s.

It has been statistically stated that over 60% of women say that they know VERY little about their vaginas. And if this is true then how is it possible for men to ever have a sound knowledge of how to please us or our vulvas/vaginas?

edit 1 for websiteThe main reason for us women to not have a strong understanding of our most intimate pleasure palace is because since we were small children our parents and society have been telling us that, “ladies, don’t touch themselves like that.” “Ladies, don’t sit like that, or think those things, eat like that, crave that, act like that, and so on and so forth.” Yet young boys can run around without a shirt on, and touch themselves, groan, grunt, fart, make jokes and even if they get busted masturbating we say as a society, “boy’s will be boy’s.” We assume that because a boy does not have fatty tissue and milk ducts in the same way that a girl does that his bare chest is not obscene.  So why do we find our bodies obscene anyway? Do we find the body of our new born infant something that is grotesque and obscene? Do we look at a baby’s bottom as something that is yucky? NO. We adore these sweet “innocent” moments in our children’s youth. Girl or boy we see the beauty, we embrace the sweetness and we adore each moment, yet as a child ages we shame our children into believing that their flesh is something to feel bad about.  We teach them this and yet they sit down and every underwear, perfume, condom, and even many food, travel and alcohol commercials tell them that the flesh is something to crave and pleasure. The mixed programming causes us to mistrust society, our peers, our lovers and most of all OURSELVES.

Somewhere in the middle of these two opposite messages is the truth of what we as humans NEED. There is nothing wrong, shameful, disgusting, obscene or otherwise ill about anyone’s body or longing to feel pleasure in any form of the sense. What is wrong is to suppress these longings and shun then as though they were demons, causing self-hatred and sexual dysfunctions. Only through self-love can we truly learn to open and love another. And in our self-loving we embrace our human needs and desires for pleasure. We learn to heal through pleasure, both giving and receiving it and we open the doorway to new paradigms of relationship in all areas of our life.

Opening My Petals to Shame

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In my youth I was very inquisitive about my vulva and vagina and still am. I was amazed by every aspect of it. To the point that I would get my little boy friend to help me explore all of its petals. I wanted to experience what everything felt like. Much like a baby who puts everything in its mouth to discover what it is, I was playfully experiencing myself. I loved playing doctor or trying to reenact something that I had seen on the television in some movie or something. I was nosey as heck and dug through my father’s “personal” space and found some old Playboys that had beautiful pictures of naked or partially nude women. I adored looking at these pictures and of course even in my youth I compared what mine looked like to the models.

frjfrejgioeLuckily for me I grew up in a household where my mother was an older mom and was from Europe. My father was an out of the box thinker, whom often disagreed with societal norms even though he was extremely logical and programmed by a long genealogy of structure and societal standings. My mother was extremely open about sex with me and was more than willing to share her personal stories and answer any questions I might bring up. Yet, even though she was open about the topic she still was damaged and needed her own healing. She could only answer for me and share with me to the point of her understanding and level of consciousness about sex and pleasure. And because she was my mother, she also had the nurturing worry that goes with the god given job. She wanted my safety and she wanted me to be smart about things.  So there were plenty of times that I experienced shame in my youth from just exploring myself. Each time I got caught playing house or doctor in the nude with my little boyfriend, I felt shame. Every time I was interrupted in my shower masturbation games or bathtub pleasuring acts, I felt shame and embarrassment. When I took one of my dad’s Playboy’s to school in the 4th grade (a parochial Catholic school) and got busted by my teacher, I felt tremendous embarrassment, now I had not only shamed myself but my parents as well.  Each time I played up some steamy hot sex scenes with my barbies and my mom or dad walked in, I felt shame. Slowly as years past I learned that it was not acceptable to look at, touch, play with, explore or share these parts of myself. I became shameful and embarrassed of myself!!! My flesh, my internal word, my desires and my pleasures. So I suppressed them for the most part.

Even in my early sexual relationships I could not fully open to the pleasure and love that was before me. I was fearful that my lover would think poorly of my hungers. I was afraid that if I shared in great detail what I really wanted to experience or how I wanted or where I wanted to be touched, kissed, pleasured that my lover would think I was disgusting or crazy. I was concerned over the potential loss of this lover more then I was concerned about sharing pleasure in fullness with them. Of course, my lover would ask me, “What are your fantasies, your desires. How do you want to be touched? Does that feel good?” But I did not know if I could honestly answer and not be judged. And in a few occasions I did allow myself to be revealed and felt tremendous pleasure, but because of my back programs I woke the following morning questioning myself and feeling strange about my pleasure. As if it was wrong.

Healing through the Pleasure Palace

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My story is similar to many women’s tales. Granted there is so much more to all of our stories and programming then this short overview and many of us women have suffered through some sort of sexual trauma that has only supported our shame, embarrassment and self-hatred or misunderstanding.  Yet at some point in all of our lives we find ourselves at a crossroad, asking “What’s wrong with us?”

Why am I not happy?

Why does sex not feel good to me?

Why do I feel addicted to sex yet not satisfied from sex?

Why do I always attract the same type of man?

Why can I not love myself more, feel life more, connect more?

Why am I not getting over ________?

Why is that a good book or movie and bowl of my favorite yummieness is better than sex with my lover?

Why am I so emotionally unstable?

Why can’t I have an orgasm?

Why do I always fake it?

Does any of this really matter anyway?

The answer to these questions and many others can be discovered on a sexual healing path. One that leads us women into the depths of our vaginal canals where we can discover a great pool of self-love, healing, passion, feeling, intimacy and all sorts of forms of pleasure. Only through going into the source of where we store our repressed emotions, our shame and fears can we learn how to release them in a safe and loving fashion and fully except ourselves. By doing this we can call into our lives lovers, friends, and life partners that will except us and support us at the level that we need.

ndsaAny woman who finds the courage to take the step down a sexual healing path will quickly awaken to how powerful the path is and then to how powerful SHE is! In Tantra and many other sexuality practices such as One Taste, the first steps to healing come from revealing our petals and allowing another to actually accept us in a non-sexual, loving fashion. The immense healing energy of having yourself revealed fully, to be naked in every sense of the word in front of another human being and then to hear them say, “ You are beautiful, divine, perfect.” To hear them describe what they see in total acceptance and unconditional love as though they were marveling at some famous painters work. This step on the path to healing starts the opening of our hearts to ourselves. It allows for us to experience ourselves in a way many of us woman have not.

The sexual path of healing is a long and ever changing one. An individual has to be willing to not expect an outcome in any particular time-frame and has to be willing to face their inner darkness as well as their inner beauty within any given moment. The emotions, thoughts, ego and the soul of what comes up for us is something new each time. With each session we open ourselves a crack more and allow for more trauma to be released and greater pleasure to be expanded upon within us. We “clear” slowly the many levels of our psyche and physical blockages to pleasure and within time learn to open up the channels to our souls and heart.

As we walk this orgasmic path of healing we release shame of our vaginas. We learn to embrace our flesh and our desires. We come into communion with our higher selves. Here in the valley of our vagina we discover our pleasure, our truth.

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In the unmasking of this truth we awaken to our divine nature. Through, its unveiling process of sexual healing practices we also open the book of personal knowledge and become that child again, exploring ourselves, giving ourselves permission to feel, to taste, to look, to act, to PLAY and to embrace others to do the same.

We stop fearing and we start living! Living the abundant, orgasmic, pleasurable life that we were intended on having. With our orgasm we gift this world with love and radiance. We increase happiness and connection. With our ability to receive pleasure we gift our lovers with an intensity of passion and creative energy. We reveal to them our self-love and acceptance and thus show them a vast horizon of pleasure, love and acceptance for them as well. Here is the gate of intimacy! Even if it is with a first time lover…

–KW

What's a Sex Coach?

When I tell someone that I’m a sex coach, they generally find it confusing. Often, I will hear, “Oh, so like, you’re a sex therapist?” Well not exactly. “So then, what is it that you actually do?”

Sex coaching has made it to the news a few times recently and I was interviewed for a feature FOX News did on the topic. Yep, FOX News is talking about sex coaching! What progress we are making. Sex coaching has been sensationalized and even poked fun at because there is not a clear understanding of what sex coaches do. I think that’s because of a couple things:

1) Sex coaching is relatively new so many people have no baseline of information about it; and

2) People are really hung up about sex and don’t realize that we actually need to study, learn and be guided in order to be the best lovers and the happiest sexual people we can be.

A sex coach is someone who helps you with your sexual and relationship life so that you can heal your sexuality, fill in gaps in your sexuality education, and be more powerful as a sexual being. Sex coaches deal with sex head-on without any blame, shame, or negative judgment so that clients can talk about the things that are hard to talk about and get out of shame and into pleasure and fulfillment. We work with people who are single and with people in relationships. I work with both!

There are actually many different kinds of sex coaches. What I do is pretty unique and I use a system for coaching that I have developed organically out of the work that I have done with people for years. There are some things that every person who wants to work on their sexuality in a serious way will have to do in order to grow.

Sex coaches act as educators as part of our work because most people have had sub-par sex education. People need to learn the stuff no one ever taught them about sex from someone who knows about sex and isn’t going to pontificate about what they should and shouldn’t be doing. That’s the job of a priest, not a sex coach!

Sex coaching is different from therapy because it’s not focused on healing past wounds as much as it’s about creating your life in the present. So sex coaching can be therapeutic, yet it addresses your specific concerns in a powerful way that can transform your life.

“The Sessions” features Helen Hunt and John Hawkes as a sex surrogate and her disabled client.

Not all sex coaches are created equal. There is no standardized sex coaching training that coaches complete, although there are some programs that train sex coaches in specific types of coaching practices. For instance, some coaches work hands-on with clients. They might sit along side a client and help her learn how to have an orgasm while she masturbates herself. Some coaches lend more than a helping hand. Some practitioners identify as Sexological Body Workers, which is a hands-on approach to helping someone with their blocks and can be very powerful for the right clients. While the focus of my coaching is not this type of hands-on work, I have a lot of respect for it and for how powerfully it can change people’s lives and open them up to pleasure.

I take a holistic approach to sexuality in my coaching practice. I work with my “9 Essential Steps to a Sexually Empowered Life” because I know that sex operates in the context of one’s life, and that context must be worked on—not just what happens with the sex act itself. For this reason, my work also encompasses the relationships you choose to have, your emotional patterns that get in the way, your feelings about your body, the way you deal with sexual shame, and much more.

I know my work is very powerful and creates lasting transformation in my client’s lives. I absolutely love helping women and couples transform how they approach sex, how they love their bodies, how they develop and fulfill desire, how they shift frustrating patterns, and how they have the deeper intimacy and pleasurable relationships they so deserve. It’s an absolute honor to midwife people through a process of coming home to the self and honoring their own deepest desires.

If you or someone you know is interested in sex coaching, feel free to reach out to my team to set up a call and see if it’s right for you. I’d love to help, and if I’m not the right fit, we’ll find someone who is right for what you need.

I think that everyone needs help with their sexuality at some point in their life. The vast majority of people won’t actually seek out support. Will you be the one who will prioritize your sexuality and develop your sexual life? Or will you let it quietly fade away, or leave it alone in its shame to eat away at itself? The choice is yours, and now that you know there are options for you in order to develop your sexuality, I hope you’ll accept one…or two or three!

Here’s to expanding your sexual life in 2013!

By Amy Jo Goddard Original Article Posted at her WEBSITE HERE

Female Bodies are Sexual Pleasure Machines

The human body is a sexual pleasure machine, and the female body even more so than the male. That may seem surprising if your concept of someone’s ‘level of sexuality’ is determined by their ‘level of libido’. We’re rather too libido-oriented in this society. The general belief is that sex is a response to feeling horny. Along with that belief comes the implicit assumption that the hornier you feel, the better sex will be.
Since women have bought into this model and believe that they should be horny before they have sex, given that women’s sexuality isn’t the ‘gagging-for-it’ type: they tend to give up, they don’t do what it takes to get in the mood, generally thinking that there’s something wrong with them (if they’ve got low self-esteem) or claiming they’re ‘normal’, declaring that ‘women don’t like sex’ and their parter is ‘sex-crazed’ (if they’re more assertive).

It’s true that women tend to have libidos like men. Women’s sexuality is not hormonally driven, it’s contextual. It depends so much on how a woman is feeling and what’s going on for, that determnes if she’s open and receptive to sex, not necessarily ‘horny’.
Once a women allows herself to get into the mood, and approaches sex in a more female-friendly way (ie not trying to be like a man) – wow, the places she can go! Because when it comes to the response side of sex (as opposed to the desire side) – well, women are far more superior then men!
Women can have orgasms that are more intense, more frequent and last longer than men’s. On top of the standard clitoral orgasm, which is similar in physiology and feel to the male ejaculatory orgasm, women can have orgasms through vaginal stimulation, g-spot (actually the urethral sponge) stimulation, AFE-spot stimulation, cervical stimulation, anal stimulation, nipple stimulation, in fact, from virtually any part of their body, and even without physical touch (either by being in the presence of a man who’s very present in his masculinity, or by bringing yourself to orgasm through breath and visualisation). Women can have multiple orgasms, wet orgasms (more commonly known by the dreadful male-centric term: female ejaculation), full body orgasms, and can stay in ecstatic states of arousal for very long periods of time.
Unfortuantely, most people don’t even realise what women’s sexual potential is. After a few decades of wondering why women are so sexual dysfunctional because they don’t function sexually like men, Western scientific research is only now starting to acknowledge that women’s sexuality is different. But it’s still way off realising just how wonderfully different women’s sexuality is.
Fortunately some people (like me!) are exploring beyond the boring limits of conventional models of sex in the West, taking on board the wisdom of older sexual traditions, such as the Tantric and Taoist, and doing a lot of personal research: I know all this is possible because I experience it.
When women realise it’s possible, they can start to experience it. When women have sexual responses like this, when they go to heaven, they take their man their with them. There is nothing a man likes more than to give his women this level of sexual pleasure. It satisfies him to his very core. It makes him feel like a Real Man. He may not be able to experience the level of feeling that she can, but he can feel fantastic for getting her there.
Female sexual response is extraordinary. It takes a while to get there, but like all good things, it takes time. The more time and attention you pay to something, generally the better the outcome.
Throw away the limiting beliefs, expand your possibilities to so much more – open yourself up to your glorious potential!

Original Posting On The Tantra Fusion Blog