Subconscious Thoughts Effing Up Your Desired Life?

Thoughts turn to feelings,
and what do we do when we have been programmed so hard core to have negative thoughts,
or to feel guilty about certain things,
or shame even?
How do we clean up our subconscious minds and thoughts?
I mean we have all been told that these subconscious thoughts affect our outcomes. That they are sneaky little bastards that rise up and cause havoc in our lives and get us to self-sabotage when things are going so great.
Right?
And these subconscious thoughts impact our vibration,
our ability to create the life that we want for,
Right?
It can feel like a real battle to overcome and clean up this junk in our minds,
in our subconscious world.
I mean, shit its subconscious, so we gotta first make that stuff conscious so we can properly dispose of it,
Right?
Or maybe we can just put ourselves in a trance state and clean them up without even knowing we are cleaning them up?
Maybe.
But I want to share a little secret with you today.
It’s a good one too.
I want you to toss around the idea that maybe,
just maybe the only thoughts that actually impact your life and outcomes are not your subconscious ones but instead the thoughts that are ACTIVE.
So if it’s a subconscious thought,
a truly subconscious thought, meaning below consciousness
you won’t have feelings around it because there is not enough activation around it to compete with what your soul, your core really knows.
And here is what you really need to understand,
if you are having a feeling around the thought….
then it’s NOT a subconscious thought,
its and active thought that’s in competition,
or not.
You can have an active thought that’s not in competition with who you really are and what you really know,
and that thought will feel like a good idea.
That thought will feel energizing,
you will feel vitality from it,
you will have interest in it.
It’s really only the thoughts that are in opposition to what your soul knows….
for example if you are thinking a thought like,
“I am not good at this, I can’t succeed at this.”
Then your soul is not thinking this,
your soul knows differently,
and therefore you will be feeling a negative feeling.
So, don’t worry about subconscious thoughts weighing you down or being a disadvantage to you,
because they are not.
They are so subconscious that you are not feeling around them, they are a non-player to your life experiences.
It is only the things that you are feeling around that are players in your point of attraction,
in the experiences that are manifesting for you right now.
So this makes things far easier right?
If it feels good, yeah keep it active.
If it does not, stop thinking those thoughts.
But it is not that easy to just stop thinking these negative thoughts.
Because the law of attraction keeps them coming,
and that’s why we come up with this flawed concept that there must be subconscious thoughts playing against us and making all this shit happen.
Because logically, we look at the pain and crap and think,
“I would not do this to myself, so it must be subconscious.”
But it is NOT subconscious,
it’s VERY CONSCIOUS.
And you keep thinking these thoughts and creating these results because it is easier to think these thoughts because they have momentum, then it is to stop thinking that thought.
You get it?
So what do you do?
You have to know that there are other thoughts,
there are other thoughts that feel better,
that you are conscious sof as well,
and are ACTIVE as well,
and you CAN, with a little bit of effort hook into these thoughts and create stronger momentum with them,
shifting your perspective from that,
that is easy and negative to that,
that you actually desire to feel and create.
Many years ago, well actually about 15+ years I used to be so reactive to my thoughts, because they caused me to feel so yucky and angry, sad, guilty, shameful, empty, etc. And I believed to my core that this is just the way my life was. No matter how much self-growth work I did or how much journalling and workshops I went to, my results were bleak and my feelings were not what I desired.
I would flair up over little things it would seem,
but these little things had deep root systems in my mind and feelings. So I would get triggered easily and mad that someone had triggered me, then go into my victim mode and blow up in one fashion or another, or worse hold it all in and distance myself from all feelings, I would seem indifferent to life and those around me.
I spent years believing that I was aloof and introverted, when in fact I was just churning around and creating more momentum in these negative attitudes and thoughts.
I would stew on things and analyze them every way possible,
I would work my butt off to change things,
and I would deep dive into my issues,
without gaining the results that I wanted ever.
And then one day….
I learned this simple truth that I shared above.
It was not my subconscious thoughts,
It was not my past or my programming,
it was what I CHOSE TO KEEP ACTIVE in my mind and feelings.
It was where I was applying my attention.
And I had the power to look at whatever I desired.
I had the ability to focus myself little by little toward the thoughts that provided me the feelings that I wanted.
And from there would create the life experiences that I wanted.
But I had to choose to stop doing what was easy and let myself run down that rabbit hole of negative thoughts.
I had to choose to catch myself when I did, and not beat myself up over it, but simply change my direction of focus.
And now what used to take me 2 years to move through only takes me five minutes or less.
That’s it.
That’s the secret to getting everything that you want.
That’s all you ever have to do.
Be present and conscious of what you are choosing and stop making excuses around why you cannot do the self-check work of catching yourself.
Or the other option,
accept what you are getting with your stinking thinking and STOP bitchin’ about it,
because you created it,
CONSCIOUSLY.
So if you are sitting here today on this fine Monday and questioning why your world or this one or two subjects in your life are not going the way you want,
no matter how much effort you put in on them,
no matter how much you smile and do the damn things that you believe will get you the results that you want and see others getting from less work or the same,
then I am speaking to you luv,
I am speaking to you who wonders ,
“Why am I so unhappy.”
“Why do I not ever have good things happen.”
“Maybe I am not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, healed enough, etc.”
or blaming your parents, your religion or government and upbringing for why your life is the way it is,
Nope it’s you baby.
You are creating this all with the thoughts you are keeping active.
Is it time to change what you want to keep active?
I would say so.
 
And As Always,
 
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.
 
It is time that you say YES to you.
Message Me for deet’s on 1:1 coaching now.
I can kick your a*s from any where globally.

You Are Fearing Your Power & It Is Holding Your Life Back.

I told a close friend yesterday that I was scared to put my attention toward what I “thought” I might be wanting right now because I was afraid that I would get it….

 

LMAO.

 

That sounds crazy,

right?

 

Scared to get what I want because I might actually get it.

But it is true.

I am consciously holding back my manifesting right now out of fear of getting it.

 

How can I be certain that I would manifest it even,

you may ask?

 

You see over the last few weeks of staying at home in the midst of our worlds chaos,

I have been working with clients and clients need homework and sometimes I have to go searching in my own personal journals to look up prompts and exercises that moved me through similar situations that they are experiencing.

 

So I have been looking through a bunch of old journalling.

and geeze has it pulled up some emotion and made me aware of my desires and how great a manifestor I really am.

 

I have looked at the last few years of my life and see clearly how I created things to a T.

 

The things I was wanting just 18 months to 3 years ago are here with me now by about 75%.

 

There are still things in the making,

but I can feel them blooming even as I share this tale with you today. And  the universe has brought me multiple messengers in the last few weeks to confirm that you can have EXACTLY what you desire.

 

SO that should be exciting to me,

right?

 

I have so much confirmation of my creative abilities,

I can see my path,

I can even see the gestation time,

and how it came together,

If I get really present in my heart,

I can even tap into my feelings around one thing and I can take notice as to how I was aligned or not,

witnessing the emotion that truly called it into my life experience.

 

And this is wonderful.

This is powerful.

And scary as F-ck!

 

Because now I know.

I know my power.

I thought I knew prior to this my power but now I really know.

And with this knowing comes a desire to make sure that I get it right,

that I don;t f-ck up what I currently have and love by creating something that is not in alignment to my life right now.

 

There is a strange feeling of responsibility around manifesting that has made itself know to me in recent,

where in the past I would have just wrote my dreams and goals down and not looked at the repercussions of what I was saying that I wanted to call into my life picture,

Now I am so in love with my current life that I don’t want to rock the boat in a way that is not needed.

 

But you want to know a secret?

 

Sure you do. 🙂

 

I am WRONG.

I am so wrong for doing this.

I am so wrong for using “responsibility” as an excuse for creating my dream life even more so.

I am wrong for fearing what my soul is calling me toward.

I am wrong for thinking that I can keep everything the way that is currently is,

in all of its glory and somehow create that next level life that I am feeling pulled toward.

 

Now, there is something else that I am wrong about…

I am wrong in thinking that if I apply my intent on what I am wanting for that I have to have chaos or crap hit the fan in my beautiful life picture,

you don’t always have to destroy something to gain something else.

 

We humans have a tough time with this concept,

We do it in so many ways.

We think we cannot build something new while enjoying something of current.

But that is a falsity.

We can have our cake and we can eat it too.

But we have to believe that we can.

We  have to trust in our soul,

in our path,

in God.

 

We have to have faith that we are always moving toward our best life,

and that is the way that life is designed,

to constantly evolve.

To change.

To grow and expand and to never remain the same.

The relationships that we have today are not the same relationships that we will have in a few years,

even if with the same people,

the relationships will change.

Because people are always changing.

Life moves us.

But we feel scared at moving with life.

It is uncertain and we never know what is coming.

We want to know what is ahead of us and we desire to control it someway,

we fear change more than anything,

and it is what we crave the most,

because it is our nature.

It is our nature to always want for something more.

We will never be satisfied.

And this is how we are designed.

But that is a tough thing to embrace because we are taught that we need to just be content with what we get,

what we have and who we are,

that we need to stop trying to gain more of anything.

When the truth is that this desire to have more and this feeling of never being satisfied is what makes us move forward and take action in life is what we are to be following,

because THIS,

This is how our universe expands.

This is how life grows and experiences this physical existence.

 

To fear change,

to fear growth,

to fear our hunger for more,

is silly and immature.

 

We were born to create.

And we were born to follow the call of this wild energy known as soul.

We are here in this life to evolve ourselves,

and evolution means change,

change of who we are,

what our lives look and feel like,

and if we get very real with ourselves,

then we KNOW that we cannot have what we want thinking, acting, speaking, living the way that we are now.

 

The way we are now has gotten us the life that we have RIGHT NOW.

And if we are wanting to have something richer, deeper, more satisfying then the simple truth is that we MUST EVOLVE.

 

We must change.

And so we must allow ourselves to want for that, that we fear.

We must allow ourselves to feel our hungers,

our cravings, and desires for that better life,

and we must allow ourselves to put our hearts toward it,

we must also let go of the reigns on our current and not hinder its ability to adapt and move with us as it needs,

because it is going to change,

it must change,

for us to become more of who we each are.

 

So my message to you today is to breathe into that space of fear of allowing yourself to have what you are being called toward.

 

Breathe into it and face those inner monsters of your ego that are causing separation in who you are and preventing you from fully stepping forward in your power.

 

Because you are worthy beyond reason.

You were born to live the life that you are hungry for.

 

It is time to say yes to you.

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

It is time that you say YES to you.

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

Here is How God is Using You and What To Do About It.

The universe is using you.

 

Yes you read that right.

The universe is using you.

You could say God is using you even.

 

But what are these forces greater than you using you for?

 

Creation.

And I am not talking about making babies.

I am talking about making life, yes…

but not not babies.

The universe is using you to experience life.

To experience creation.

To create and to expand.

If you are not expanding then the universe is not expanding.

Therefore, you are always expanding.

 

And you do this through pain and pleasure.

You get to choose though how you expand.

You get to open yourself to the expansion and have the universe penetrate you in one of these ways.

 

When we struggle,

when we feel anxiety and great resistance to the good things that life has to offer us,

we are choosing pain over pleasure.

But the pain is not a bad thing,

it is not comfortable for sure to be in a state of pain and struggle, but it is not a bad thing because it creates desire.

And in the birthing of our desires we expand.

Desire for something more,

something better and grander,

is what we are here for.

That desire is what breeds life to happen.

That desire is what stokes our creative fires and gets us moving.

That desire is what ignites us to let go of our pain.

And when we let go of our pain and struggle,

when we realize that we have always had it,

that whatever we desire is already with us,

and that we are worthy of it,

our letting go of the pain is us letting go of the resistance to having that, that we want for.

 

Did you catch that?

You are not getting what you want in your life because you are not letting go of the pain of not having it.

So you are resisting having what you want.

You are applying your power, your ability to manifest to not having your desired outcome.

And therefore, that is what is given to you.

 

But with that resistance you expand your desire and hunger for what you are wanting for, giving it more power.

Creating more momentum.

 

The universe is there supporting your expansion in desire to create.

To birth this desire into play.

And to enjoy it.

 

And you will have it once you get your belief that you can have it on board with your desire to have it.

 

By doing this you become aligned.

And in getting aligned you receive it,

quickly.

 

But the belief is shown from your ability to let go of the struggle, the fear, the anxiety, the worry, the pain.

 

Can you put it all down and look at your right now,

see the blessings and the joy of the right now,

no matter how small they may be?

 

Can you feel good right now by thinking a thought that opens your heart to love or to beauty?

 

Can you slow down right now enough to loosen your grip on the idea that you are sinking so that you can float?

 

This is what it takes.

This is what it requires for you to have the life and desires that you are wanting for.

And by letting go,

the universe will move through you with great momentum and miracles will occur.

 

You get to choose how long it takes to create your desired life.

You get to choose what you have in this life of yours.

You get to choose how abundant you are in love, in money and wellbeing.

 

You are such a powerful love.

It is true that when you ask it is given.

 

Your only job is to let go of the reigns of fear.

 

Are you ready to step on the gas in manifesting the life that you want for?

 

And Remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Take advantage right now of a lifetime opportunity to work with me in my intensive 4 week mastermind where you get to work 1:1 with me to learn the keys that I woke up to back in 2009 and changed my whole life outcome with.  Let me guide you through the turbulence of the storms and show you the power of letting go of fear so that you can create the life of dreams, you know that you desire and deserve it. Let’s make it happen. Message me for deet’s

Resistance to Your Heart Is Holding Back Your Desired Life.

The sky was coming down on me.

There I lay,

thrown out on the cold, damp grass…

Staring up into the heavens,

the full moon casting its light  down on me as though it was encouraging my breakdown.

I felt the earth beneath my body,

firm and cold to my plea,

my plea of not being enough.

 

This life that I have created,

this life that I love so deeply,

with all of its souls,

all the adventure,

all of the beauty.

Many days I feel that I am not good enough for this life.

I question why God has been so good to me?

Why do I keep reaping blessings,

why do people share such deep love with me,

Why do they value me so?

 

Don’t they see…

Don’t they see the human that I am.

The girl who still feels that she is not enough.

That pigeon toed wallflower who is lost in this thing called life?

 

Don’t they see that I fear myself.

I fear my messages.

I fear the spirit that moves through me,

that provides me such intensity at times.

 

I fear my heart.

That it may be wrong in its judgement,

it may guide me to loss and pain.

I fear that it was my heart that caused all of the pain,

and I know differently.

I know that the pain,

the sorrow,

is all based in my desire to control the outcome of my life.

I know that my heart which speaks from the place of deep understanding of soul,

never missguides.

It does not judge.

It knows.

It knows it truth,

and it just asks that I listen.

 

But I find on some days I cannot hear it for all the chaos that this beautiful life of mine has in it.

 

I cannot make out who I am on some days,

for who I am trying to be for everyone else.

 

And in this,

I become lost.

Just as you.

 

I snuggle into my humanness,

and I hold myself strong to the course that my head,

that my ego and all of society would tell me to be right and true.

And then in my final moments,

before I LET GO….

I find myself fighting to not drop to my knees,

to not lean in to this call.

This call that is so overpowering,

so enticing and juicy.

This call that I know if I let it pull me will guide me to all that I have wanted.

 

But I resist just a moment more.

I harden myself to all that I feel,

I toughen up like I have been told,

and I smile though I want to weep.

 

I say yes when I should say no.

I resist my truth yet some more.

As though it is helping me.

As though this will make me happy,

and solve my worlds problems.

 

Oh how funny we humans are.

How silly we are to run from all that we want,

all the while claiming we are pushing toward it.

 

We can not see our path,

as it lays out with each blind step that we take,

we cannot see it,

but if we learn to LET GO,

we can feel it.

It moves through us,

it moves us with each breath,

and those who choose to drop to their knees,

to lean into the call,

and allow our hearts to be seen,

if only for that flicker in time,

we grasp vision from the heavens above,

and we move.

 

 

Softly.

Gracefully.

In love.

 

We move.

 

But what you may not want to see,

is the mess,

the mess of this dropping.

The mess of letting go,

it may appear that one is falling apart,

trembling and lost more than ever before,

but this is a moment of expansion.

And a moment of revealing.

A moment where the heart leads.

 

There are no breakdowns,

only breakthroughs.

 

But we must allow them to be seen.

As we allow our hearts the same,

and through this process of shattering,

we transform who we are into who we were born to be.

 

BREATHE.

 

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Feel like you are lost and falling apart at the seams?

Like you have been working so hard for the life that you want,

but it still is not before you.

Let’s chat! Let’s get you cracked open and expanded so that YOU can call it in NOW.

 

Reach out to me about deet’s on 1:1 coaching and group now.

Compassion, Gratitude + Vagus Nerve: The Components to Your Mind, Body, Soul Connection

Do you ever have a moment in your life where you find your heart swelling with gratitude and love?

Where you are sitting in a state of awe over how effing blessed you are?

Do you ever just find yourself in tears to the magic that this life has to offer?

I have this frequently.
Just this morning my alarm went off a little after 5-AM.
I stretched, drank some water, went to the bathroom.
I came back to bed, snuggled under my furry blanket and wrapped myself up in my satin sheets.
My hand rested beside me and I felt my lovers erection,
he was sleeping, but his member was awake.

I smiled from within,
as I had a hunger to connect with him.

And so we made sweet love.
Wispers of pleasure,
my body was happy to receive him.
I joked that he needed to get going and shower, and get out the door to work,
but that I first demanded that he take care of me as I grabbed him.

The moment was playful,
it was loving and primal.
It was most of all connective,
and more so connective for me to embody myself then to even connect with him.

I found myself needing him to touch me,
needing him to bring me back to my breath,
needing ME to get present in my own flesh,
with my emotions,
and out of my head.

And this moment blessed me with just that.

Afterward, we kissed and he got me my morning coffee.
I sat in bed, breathed deep into my womb and relaxed my chest.
I found myself feeling so much gratitude for my life,
for him,
for the opportunities that I have,
I was grateful for the messes that I need to clean up today,
my home that needs tidied for a 3-day event happening in it this coming weekend,
for my children,
their laughter and joy.
I opened up my facebook and I scrolled through pictures and events that happened over the last eight weeks.
I looked at the travel, the birthdays, the dinners, the family and friends,
the laughter,
the authentic smiles,
the connection.

I saw the blessings and felt JOY.
I felt INSPIRED to focus on just that and keep manifesting more of what feels so good.
I felt PEACE for where I am,
and EXCITEMENT for the path before me.
I felt GRATITUDE for being in my body and the messages that my SOUL shares through my body.
and I felt COMPASSION for self,
and UNDERSTANDING that I am just human.

This is how we create.
This is how we manifest our lives.
We grow and we manifest through being EMBODIED.
But so often we do not fathom what embodiment means,
let along how to achieve it.
We hide in our heads,
where the clutter and chaos of our fears and worries drown out our truth.
We run from our bodies,
and our emotions,
in belief that they will mislead us,
that they are weak and not to be listened too.

Yet as our world evolves,
science is pointing back to what we call spiritualism,
that crazy mystic shiz,
and it is revealing that thier is so much to the
MIND< BODY<SOUL connection.
That in order for us to truly live to our full capasity and expereince maximum well-being that we MUST embody ourselves and not exclude any aspect of this triad.

It is our ability to connect the dots of this three parts that enable us to be the alchemists of our lives.

When we are lost,
when we are full of anxiety,
our pathway of communication between
MIND<BODY<SOUL is disrupted.
Making it it virtually impossible to make correct life choices for ourselves.
We hinder our selves through disassociation to the body and the emotions.
This disassociation causes us to have life happen to us,
verses us creating the life that we want.

In today’s world there are new sciences being created to study just this MIND<BODY<SOUL connection and the pathways that create the communication needed to achieve our full capacity.

The medical field of bioelectronics was formulated just for this sole purpose.

And in it’s study,
the pathway of the Vagus nerve is a focus.
This is just what I speak of today,
and how I have intuitively created my F-ck Yes! Lifestyle.
Through a consistent practicec of activaing, and paying attention to this communication freeway.
Listening to its messages from SOUL to Body, to mind and acting from this KNOWING space.

You can do the same.
SImple steps and unederstanding,
following the guidance of vagus nerve coaching and practices to live your best life.

Simple.

It really is.
And YOU can expereince the rewards.

Breathe.
Slow down.
Meditate.
Conscious Focus on Appreciation and Compassion.
Letting go of Control Based Thinking.
Becoming Body Present.

These are the steps.
Ready?

Get activated now.
And THRIVE.

How do you support your MIND<BODY<SOUL Connection?

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

ANNOUNCING my New Global Group Coaching Program!
5-weeks of intensive yet simple education, strategy and exercises to create your desired life through activation and understanding of the Vagus Nerve.

PM for Pre-Launch interest in Group Vagus Nerve Coaching Program. Learn how to embody and stimulate your vagus nerve in a whole new way.

I Would Do ANything For Love! – But, I Won’t Do THAT.

I would do anything for love!

But, I won’t do THAT.

 

Just like the song,

so our relationships unwind.

We have these THINGS in relationship that we refuse to do,

and some with good reason,

some because they are personal boundaries,

some because it is totally self-sacrificial to do and will only create far worse repercussions than saying, “No.”

 

Relationships are most certainly not about one partner always caving to the other.

It is not about always getting what you want.

Relationships are not about even making you feel happy, safe or comfortable.

Love just an FYI, is not about comfort.

Or getting what we want.

 

It is about getting what we need.

And when we think about what we need,

it is not that we “need” the other person to act, do, be some specific way for us.

No the “need” that relationship provides, is the support for us to  expand and grow into who we truly are as souls.

Therefore, often us getting what we need will feel like a challenge in the relationship.

It will feel uncomfortable.

It will feel testing, scary even and we will feel pushed to breathe into events and moments with our partner.

We will be asked to face our internal structures and inquire,

 

“Is this true?”

 

Is this really how I feel or am I living according to societal structures that have been put on me?

 

Am I leaning into my fear right now? or am I truly coming from my truth?

 

Love is testing.

 

Love will require us to have courage.

To have blind faith.

To open the door to trust.

And to evolve our beliefs.

 

So often though, we address love differently.

We tell our beloveds that we are:

 

👉Unconditional in our love – when in fact it is built on conditions.

👉That we would do “ANYTHING” for them – when in fact that means anything within my comfort box only, ask me to push myself a little into uncharted waters, well forget about that, I won’t do it.

👉That we want for their happiness no matter the cost – when in fact we require that happiness to fit into the picture that we have painted instead of holding space for what our partner actually needs

👉That we want them to grow, to be empowered, feel safe – when in fact yet again we only want this IF it is how we perceive that to be, NOT PUSHING US OUT OF COMFORT.

👉That we want to support them, help them achieve their dreams and become so much – when in fact even though that sounds great and groovy, we are not willing or understanding that if our partner chooses to grow and be all that, that it will require us as well to step in and do the same if we desire to keep the relationship.  If one partner grows and the other does not, then the relationship WILL end.

👉That we want them to heal – I love this one. Over almost two decades I have sat with thousands of couples who proclaim how they desire their partner to heal. How they just want the best life for them, for them to not live in the emotional/psychological and event physical pain/trauma anymore. But when faced with the road it will require to get their partner there, they instead choose to shame, guilt, even abandon and divorce. Proclaiming that they can’t do that. They cannot support that sort of healing and there has to be some other way.

 

Many years ago,

I had a lovely couple come to me.

I will never forget their consultation…

The man sat there,

so wild eyed and excited about the possibilities that laid before them as a couple.

He spoke of his desire to support his wife to become empowered,

to tap into her feminine energy again as their polarities were out of whack and she was more the man then he,

he excitedly shared how he wanted deep intimacy with her,

how he wanted to have connective sex again,

and have her into it.

He wanted her to have less stress in life and with family and that he wanted the opportunity to support her here as well,

he wanted her to have passion for life,

purpose in something she loved,

and of course he wanted her to be the sexual goddess that he knew was in there.

 

They signed up for my couple’s coaching and so the process began to “fix” his wife….lol

 

No such thing as fixing your partner people.

There is only unveiling and that is something only they can do for themselves.

 

The coaching process is about offering tools and guidance to achieve and support someone in their efforts to rebirth themselves.

 

That’s all.

No fixing.

 

Anyway, they became my clients and we started doing the deep awakening work to help them and her get the results that they wanted.

 

Fast forward 18 months,

I met with the couple and she was now glowing, radiant and happy, laughing and so full of life.

Where once I looked into eyes that were lost, empty and on the cusp of death of soul, with no ability to answer clearly anything or speak her truth,

now sat a woman on fire for life.

 

I looked at him,

He was still bubbly and happy in appearance.

He was still supporting her,

but he too was different.

He had, had an awakening of his own.

and was still in his desire to assist his beloved to heal and grow,

to come out of her shell, ‘to see her own worth and radiate the beauty that she had,

that he had to take on the mission to become the man that could hold that space for her.

Meaning he had to rebirth himself as well.

He had to face his inner demons head on,

and get real with the fact that he was not good often with what it was being required of him and them to get her to where she was going.

 

I watched this couple struggle for three years with this birthing process.

They came close a few times to divorce and throwing the towel in.

He weeped to me in session repeatedly about how he just could not support what she was doing.

He swore that it was not okay.

That if she loved him, that she would stop doing these things to him.

And yet, he saw her more radiant than ever before.

He saw her thriving.

But her thriving, (well what it took to get her there) went against almost EVERY cellular belief structure that this man had about life, relationship, marriage, men, women, love,and healing.

 

Now this couple is a success story,

he stuck it out.

She stuck it out.

They pushed through and each expanded, grew as individuals and challenged themselves to reprogram the beliefs that were holding them back in so many areas.

 

And today when I check up on them a decade or so later they are deeply in love, happy, connected and have gotten there because they chose LOVE.

 

They chose each other and they chose to not get stuck in the quicksand of old habits, fears and societal beliefs.

 

That being said,

This is not the case for most relationships proclaiming that they would do anything for love.

 

Most relationships are like the Meatloaf song.

 

They will do anything for love, but they won’t do THAT.

 

THAT thing that the song speaks of is different for all,

yet the same.

 

THAT is fear.

THAT is ego.

THAT is getting out of the box of comfort.

THAT is letting go of the concept that controlling our beloveds actions through our fear and not opening up to the possibilities of “What if, or maybe…”

 

Yes most relationships,

won’t do THAT.

 

Instead they will finger point,

blame and guilt, shame and play victim.

They will turn things around and say,

“But if YOU loved me then you would not need to do/be/act that way.”

They refuse to let go of past,

they refuse to compromise,

they refuse to just love their partner and trust in them,

and in God/Universe.

 

Most relationships opt for supporting old patterns of sabotage and trauma.

Supporting their triggers around abandonment,

around need instead of love.

 

And they try to force their beloveds hand, heart and life back into that comfortable little box that feels so good.

The logical mind in these moments support with tons of evidence as to why you want to keep that box,

it tells us why the growth,

The change is so dangerous.

And so the mission of saving self,

saving themselves from a feeling of discomfort,

turns into war with partner,

guilting and often separation.

 

My question to you today sweet reader,

is if you would do anything for love,

and you fear that by doing THAT thing that causes your heart to feel like it may stop beating if you do,

but your beloved is asking it of you so they can become full again, healed, and who they really are, so they can find their truth,

if THAT thing in your mind is going to kill the relationship,

but you saying “NO I won’t do that for love” will certainly kill the relationship, or you would rather opt for the death of relationship then doing THAT thing…

 

Then why not,

I mean let’s just go out on a limb here today….

 

Why not at least DO THAT THING and see where it takes you?

 

Worst case scenario is that you land where you were willing to go anyway.

 

Call me crazy,

but if you truly love and not need the person and the relationship,

then you have nothing to lose and everything to gain in exploring this life a bit and expanding yourself and your relationship through the support of your beloved.

 

What would you do for love?

 

As Always,

stop Existing & Start living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

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Accessing the Light Of Your Desire.

I woke with a hunger.
My sex was on fire and I knew what I needed.
I rolled over, spread my legs and moaned a sigh of desire.
Here my turn on was,
igniting me in this moment,
making me yearn for something deeper.
Yes deeper in my sex,
but deeper in my life as well.
A feeling of fear moved through my body and I could feel myself leaning toward contraction of all this yumminess.
As I pondered the sensations,
the hunger,
the cravings and creatve juices of what was birthing from this ignition,
I also feared loosing all that I had created.
Could I survive my turn on?
Could my relationships survive my turn on?
Could the life that I had created thus far survive,
and if so how would all be transformed?
 
This is the agony of turn on.
We touch on it at moments in our life and as we feel its heat upon our flesh and in our hearts,
we fear its power.
Our power.
And question if we can survive accessing a deeper level of who we truly are.
The majority of people choose safety and mediocrety.
They step back from the flames of their SOUL ignited and they choose to ignore it.
To just maybe crack the door to their soul but a hair, so they can see its radiant light flickering through the crack,
but not enough to actual feel its essence in their lives.
 
This is the SOUL.
The soul is that of fire and freedom.
It longs to have ignition.
The oxygen of the soul is the revival of turn on and when we allow ourselves a moment to breathe into our truth,
when we ask why we are settling for so much less sthan what we know is possible,
we wake up the coals of this desire.
Each inquiry of our hearts,
each questioning of our happiness,
each moment we look a little deeper is a stoking of the fire that is hungry to be seen again.
To breathe into life.
 
The only question remains,
“Will you open to your hungers or will you hide once more form them?”
 
The hiding comes through the fear of loss,
the fear of being left alone in your fire,
and being forced to sacrifice all that you have come to love and have.
 
The truth is,
all that you love and have come to have is not stagnet energy.
It moves with time and space and in our effort to try and keep it just as it is,
we squash its life and potential as well as our own.
If what we love and have is meant to be and in alignment to our SOUL,
our heart and truth,
then it will transform with us,
embracing our desires and needs and all that we are revealing,
and if it is not of soul alignment then it must move into a new dimension of relationship with us and that may feel like its ending.
 
Is there ANYTHING in this life that is truly worthy of you stepping away from your power and truth?
 
And if you say yes to this question,
then if it is truly worthy of your sacrifice of YOU,
then would it demand this of you?
And if so , is that love?
 
When we love,
truly love,
we want for the best of another.
When we love,
truly love ourselves,
we understand that we must stand in our power and want for the best for ourselves.
We must not hide our flames of desire,
we must not squelch our turn on.
Because it is this turned on desire for life,
for joy,
for love,
for sex,
for play, connection, revealing, and truth.
That is the ignition of our empowerment.
 
A candle cannot burn when in a closed container.
Yet you may believe that yours can.
Are you living life with this idea?
Are you living in fear of you rturn on and squelching your pleasure, your truth, your power?
 
Or ar eyou asking another to live in this state with the concept that if they loved you,
if they understood your fears and pain that they would just live in a constainer?
The container that you deem safe.
 
This is a year of change.
It is a year of EMPOWERMENT my love,
and you may claim that you want fo rit,
that you want for love and freedom,
but I question if you can truly handle it.
I ask you today to sit with your fear.
To ask yourself if your fear is worth you not living truely YOU.
 
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
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Start of 2020 and activiating your Yes year to You by saying YES to this potent opportunity today.

Fortune Favors the BOLD – But Why?

It is said that fortune favors the BOLD.
And from my experience this is an accurate assessment.
I know who you are,
Wanting to be bold.
Looking for opportunities to “let your hair down” and prove to the world and yourself that you can be comfortable in your boldness.
Or at least what you currently perceive as bold.
Stripping yourself bare,
Doing things that feel seductive in their discomfort.
Pushing your boundaries with the hope and belief that your actions will PROVE that you are comfortable being you.
That you are your own boss.
That you are owned by no one.
Yes,
You know who you are.
You know you feel that hunger deep inside your soul
and you are looking for a way to feed it.
A way to connect to what you know is at your core,
To whom you pray at night to find,
And cross your fingers is truly you.
But you are still lost,
Aren’t you?
You are still searching my love.
And THIS…
THIS is why you struggle.
THIS is why you are still chasing your desires.
THIS is why you feel that inner wobble.

You know what I speak of.
That feeling of uncertainty.
That feeling of not knowing.
That sensation of not yet being steady
But instead still full of questions.

Is this correct?
Am I doing it right?
Am I enough or maybe too much?
Am I worthy, truly worthy without reason to have the life that I want?

You feel it calling you.
You feel the drawing in like a lover across the room,
Wanting you.
And you want it too.
You try to not let yourself daydream about what could be.
About how it could feel.
But when you do…

You get wet and tingly.
You get aroused by this seductress.
You want it.
You know you do.
But do you dare?

It will require you to do what you have never done before.
It will require you to be BOLD like never before.
To move past the need to prove,
To ignore your need to show you can,
Or to walk or talk the way you “think” confidence walks or talks.
To stop trying to force it to happen.
To stop trying to force yourself to grow.
To be something or someway.
To stop trying in general.
Boldness is nothing more than just BEING YOU.
And daring to LIVE.

The fact you are searching so hard,
Feeling so lost,
Caught in your wobble.
Shows how out of alignment to your SOUL you really are.
Shows your lostness.
And the fortunes that you crave will never materialize while you remain out of alignment.
While you continue to be BOLD.

Fortune favores the BOLD.
The BOLD who dare to LIVE.

That is.
Which is one of the rarest events in this world.

Ask yourself today..

Am I truly living?
Or just pretending?

And remember
Stop Existing & Start Existing
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

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STOP BEING A YES WHORE.

[jwplayer mediaid=”10519″]

STOP BEING A YES WHORE.

Wow! Kendal that is a harsh statement for a Friday morning.

What do you mean by, “Yes Whore?”

You are guilty beautiful of doing just this.
I am guilty too.
There is not a soul on this planet that has not fallen into the illusion of being a yes whore and believing that it is the road to our happiness.

Every time you say YES to someone and you actually mean NO, you are in an essence whoring yourself out and dishonoring self and the relationship that you are YESSING all over.

Every time that inauthentic YES pops out of your mouth and you find yourself swallowing your own needs, desires, ideas, and value because you feel that you “should” do this or that to be a nice person, to be helpful, to offer support, to show you love, etc. etc.

You sabotage yourself!
You sabotage the relationship.
And you loose respect.

I have been in the business of relationship coaching in one facet or another for two decades now and the one thing that I hear repeatedly is, ” I can’t say no, that would be mean.”

“He is my husband… I love him, I can’t say no.”
“She is so sweet and working so hard, she needs this/needs me… I can’t say no.”
“They are really struggling right now, I can’t say no.”
“They need me.”
“I don’t know how I am going to do it but I can’t say no.”

And following these wonderful words of what seem’s like love and support come…

” I am so exhausted, I just don’t have anything left to give, why can’t they/he/she see that?”

“I just feel like a all people ever want me for is ___________________.”

“You know, I have had it… I have been busting myself open here, doing everything I can, to show how much I care and I ask for one small thing and get told no after everything that I have done.”

“Doesn’t he/she see that I really don’t want to do that/feel like it?

“I would be all alone if I said what I really want or need.”

These and so many other things in so many subjects of our lives.

Just think about all the moments that you actually wanted to respond with NO but opted to say yes because you did not want to hurt the relationship, the other persons feelings or damage your value in the relationship.

Think of all those moments that if you get real with yourself you answered YES because you were answering out of fear and/or lack of self-worth.

Well you see beautiful,
these are the times that you were whoring yourself out.

There is no honor or respect in being out of integrity and not being honest with your answer.

You answered YES in exchange for something that you wanted or needed. You put little value on what is so precious and worth so much in hopes that you could,
if but only for a short time,
buy someones love, time, appreciation,
so that you would feel good.

But the funny thing is,
much like a whore who is just selling off their sex and not looking for anything real, lasting or of value,
you find yourself having to consistently whore yourself out to the point of being used up just to get a taste of what you are actually wanting.
And much like the client of the whore who is trying to fill a void and is just buying the illusion of the intimacy and connection,
you are finding yourself feeling used, abused and alone.

The relationships that you are doing this with are the relationships that you need to GET REAL with yourself on.

If you want to experience true happiness.
If you want to be respected.
If you want to have that soulmate relationship based in love,
if you want to feel supported, safe, understood,
If you want to stop questioning yourself and the relationships that you have,
and just BE YOU-
and THRIVE.

if you want that F-ck YES! Life…

Well is starts by you STOPPING YOURSELF FROM BEING A YES WHORE.

The ONLY person you need to answer YES to ALWAYS….

Is YOU.

And you see, if you answer yes to you 100% of the time,
you will find that you will be living authentically and in integrity.
And guess what that means beautiful?

It means you will gain trust, respect, real love and support.
It means that you will NOT ALWAYS make someone else happy,
that you will respect and love yourself enough to know that you are not responsible for anyone else’s emotional response, mental thoughts or even physical actions.
It means that you will no longer be enabling another’s victim mindset in their unconscious maneuver to control you and feel loved themselves.

It means that you will be one step closer to manifesting the life that you are worthy of.

So Stop Being a YES WHORE and Release Yourself from That Which Binds You.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

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Denial Is Preventing You From Living Your F-ck Yes! Life.

Do you feel like you are missing something?
 
I watch you daily beautiful and I see that you want a life full of reward,
full of joy and abundance,
full of connection and a life where you can just BE YOU unapologetically.
 
I watch you sharing your heart about things,
posting pictures of your babies,
putting out your desires of travel and not having to worry about making ends meet,
but in turn having more than enough with plenty left over.
 
I see you.
 
I also see your lostness.
I see your fear to step away from what is so familiar.
I see you sharing from a place of desperation.
I see your words that you paint but you cannot stand behind energetically.
I see you making claims and wanting to believe them,
but feeling like you are an imposture in the same.
 
I witness your gifts daily beautiful.
I have witnessed the beauty in your heart.
 
But you are still missing something.
You know the THING.
The thing that you are missing,
that you just cannot seem to fully surrender too.
The thing that keeps calling your name,
grabbing your attention,
and you say no too.
 
Yet you KNOW.
Don’t you?
 
You KNOW, that if you keep ignoring it that you will never accomplish what you want.
 
You seek,
you search,
you gain more education,
and you stumble forward on this path of yours.
Every time you fall to your knees,
you look around and wonder why…
 
Why have you not yet made it happen?
Why does all this hard work not get you to where you want?
Why does it seem that no one see’s your efforts or cares?
Why does it work for so and so, but not for you?
How much longer can you keep pushing like you are before you really crash and can give no more?
 
 
It’s this THING beautiful.
It’s just this THING…
You keep turning away from it.
You keep ignoring it’s existence in your life.
You keep saying that it is not so even though your SOUL leads you to it consistently.
 
But it is missing from your life.
And you keep allowing it to be missing.
You search for it and act as though you don’t know what it is.
 
Your lies do not become you beautiful.
These lies to self,
they do not serve you but to keep you in what is familiar,
what is comfortable and safe.
 
The average and ordinary that you claim that you do not desire to be living,
you stick too like glue by denying the realness of what you ignore.
 
The THING beautiful that you are looking for…
The THING that you are missing….
The THING that is holding you back and keeping your dreams at bay.
 
This thing,
it’s your BELIEF.
Your conviction.
Your commitment.
It’s all about you BEING YOU.
 
The THING that you are missing and looking so hard for is YOU.
 
Your dreams are not manifesting because you are denying yourself.
 
Your desires are cast away from you and replaced with worry because you are not listening to your SOUL.
 
And the reason you cannot find yourself is because you are insistent that you are lost.
 
As long as you proclaim that you don’t know…
As long as you state your reality to be one of not having…
As long as you continue chasing something that you believe you do not currently posses…
 
YOU will remain out alignment with EVERYTHING you want.
 
YOU will remain out of alignment with EVERYTHING you want.
 
It is time beautiful,
to pull back the curtains on your truth.
It is time own who you are.
But you will have to change what you have been focused on.
You will have to rattle your own cage,
and step fully into the responsibility of being you.
 
Are you ready?
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
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I have been in those shoes before all too many time.
But that fear is not going to stop you.
You are powerful.
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