Resistance to Your Heart Is Holding Back Your Desired Life.

The sky was coming down on me.

There I lay,

thrown out on the cold, damp grass…

Staring up into the heavens,

the full moon casting its light  down on me as though it was encouraging my breakdown.

I felt the earth beneath my body,

firm and cold to my plea,

my plea of not being enough.

 

This life that I have created,

this life that I love so deeply,

with all of its souls,

all the adventure,

all of the beauty.

Many days I feel that I am not good enough for this life.

I question why God has been so good to me?

Why do I keep reaping blessings,

why do people share such deep love with me,

Why do they value me so?

 

Don’t they see…

Don’t they see the human that I am.

The girl who still feels that she is not enough.

That pigeon toed wallflower who is lost in this thing called life?

 

Don’t they see that I fear myself.

I fear my messages.

I fear the spirit that moves through me,

that provides me such intensity at times.

 

I fear my heart.

That it may be wrong in its judgement,

it may guide me to loss and pain.

I fear that it was my heart that caused all of the pain,

and I know differently.

I know that the pain,

the sorrow,

is all based in my desire to control the outcome of my life.

I know that my heart which speaks from the place of deep understanding of soul,

never missguides.

It does not judge.

It knows.

It knows it truth,

and it just asks that I listen.

 

But I find on some days I cannot hear it for all the chaos that this beautiful life of mine has in it.

 

I cannot make out who I am on some days,

for who I am trying to be for everyone else.

 

And in this,

I become lost.

Just as you.

 

I snuggle into my humanness,

and I hold myself strong to the course that my head,

that my ego and all of society would tell me to be right and true.

And then in my final moments,

before I LET GO….

I find myself fighting to not drop to my knees,

to not lean in to this call.

This call that is so overpowering,

so enticing and juicy.

This call that I know if I let it pull me will guide me to all that I have wanted.

 

But I resist just a moment more.

I harden myself to all that I feel,

I toughen up like I have been told,

and I smile though I want to weep.

 

I say yes when I should say no.

I resist my truth yet some more.

As though it is helping me.

As though this will make me happy,

and solve my worlds problems.

 

Oh how funny we humans are.

How silly we are to run from all that we want,

all the while claiming we are pushing toward it.

 

We can not see our path,

as it lays out with each blind step that we take,

we cannot see it,

but if we learn to LET GO,

we can feel it.

It moves through us,

it moves us with each breath,

and those who choose to drop to their knees,

to lean into the call,

and allow our hearts to be seen,

if only for that flicker in time,

we grasp vision from the heavens above,

and we move.

 

 

Softly.

Gracefully.

In love.

 

We move.

 

But what you may not want to see,

is the mess,

the mess of this dropping.

The mess of letting go,

it may appear that one is falling apart,

trembling and lost more than ever before,

but this is a moment of expansion.

And a moment of revealing.

A moment where the heart leads.

 

There are no breakdowns,

only breakthroughs.

 

But we must allow them to be seen.

As we allow our hearts the same,

and through this process of shattering,

we transform who we are into who we were born to be.

 

BREATHE.

 

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Feel like you are lost and falling apart at the seams?

Like you have been working so hard for the life that you want,

but it still is not before you.

Let’s chat! Let’s get you cracked open and expanded so that YOU can call it in NOW.

 

Reach out to me about deet’s on 1:1 coaching and group now.

Compassion, Gratitude + Vagus Nerve: The Components to Your Mind, Body, Soul Connection

Do you ever have a moment in your life where you find your heart swelling with gratitude and love?

Where you are sitting in a state of awe over how effing blessed you are?

Do you ever just find yourself in tears to the magic that this life has to offer?

I have this frequently.
Just this morning my alarm went off a little after 5-AM.
I stretched, drank some water, went to the bathroom.
I came back to bed, snuggled under my furry blanket and wrapped myself up in my satin sheets.
My hand rested beside me and I felt my lovers erection,
he was sleeping, but his member was awake.

I smiled from within,
as I had a hunger to connect with him.

And so we made sweet love.
Wispers of pleasure,
my body was happy to receive him.
I joked that he needed to get going and shower, and get out the door to work,
but that I first demanded that he take care of me as I grabbed him.

The moment was playful,
it was loving and primal.
It was most of all connective,
and more so connective for me to embody myself then to even connect with him.

I found myself needing him to touch me,
needing him to bring me back to my breath,
needing ME to get present in my own flesh,
with my emotions,
and out of my head.

And this moment blessed me with just that.

Afterward, we kissed and he got me my morning coffee.
I sat in bed, breathed deep into my womb and relaxed my chest.
I found myself feeling so much gratitude for my life,
for him,
for the opportunities that I have,
I was grateful for the messes that I need to clean up today,
my home that needs tidied for a 3-day event happening in it this coming weekend,
for my children,
their laughter and joy.
I opened up my facebook and I scrolled through pictures and events that happened over the last eight weeks.
I looked at the travel, the birthdays, the dinners, the family and friends,
the laughter,
the authentic smiles,
the connection.

I saw the blessings and felt JOY.
I felt INSPIRED to focus on just that and keep manifesting more of what feels so good.
I felt PEACE for where I am,
and EXCITEMENT for the path before me.
I felt GRATITUDE for being in my body and the messages that my SOUL shares through my body.
and I felt COMPASSION for self,
and UNDERSTANDING that I am just human.

This is how we create.
This is how we manifest our lives.
We grow and we manifest through being EMBODIED.
But so often we do not fathom what embodiment means,
let along how to achieve it.
We hide in our heads,
where the clutter and chaos of our fears and worries drown out our truth.
We run from our bodies,
and our emotions,
in belief that they will mislead us,
that they are weak and not to be listened too.

Yet as our world evolves,
science is pointing back to what we call spiritualism,
that crazy mystic shiz,
and it is revealing that thier is so much to the
MIND< BODY<SOUL connection.
That in order for us to truly live to our full capasity and expereince maximum well-being that we MUST embody ourselves and not exclude any aspect of this triad.

It is our ability to connect the dots of this three parts that enable us to be the alchemists of our lives.

When we are lost,
when we are full of anxiety,
our pathway of communication between
MIND<BODY<SOUL is disrupted.
Making it it virtually impossible to make correct life choices for ourselves.
We hinder our selves through disassociation to the body and the emotions.
This disassociation causes us to have life happen to us,
verses us creating the life that we want.

In today’s world there are new sciences being created to study just this MIND<BODY<SOUL connection and the pathways that create the communication needed to achieve our full capacity.

The medical field of bioelectronics was formulated just for this sole purpose.

And in it’s study,
the pathway of the Vagus nerve is a focus.
This is just what I speak of today,
and how I have intuitively created my F-ck Yes! Lifestyle.
Through a consistent practicec of activaing, and paying attention to this communication freeway.
Listening to its messages from SOUL to Body, to mind and acting from this KNOWING space.

You can do the same.
SImple steps and unederstanding,
following the guidance of vagus nerve coaching and practices to live your best life.

Simple.

It really is.
And YOU can expereince the rewards.

Breathe.
Slow down.
Meditate.
Conscious Focus on Appreciation and Compassion.
Letting go of Control Based Thinking.
Becoming Body Present.

These are the steps.
Ready?

Get activated now.
And THRIVE.

How do you support your MIND<BODY<SOUL Connection?

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

ANNOUNCING my New Global Group Coaching Program!
5-weeks of intensive yet simple education, strategy and exercises to create your desired life through activation and understanding of the Vagus Nerve.

PM for Pre-Launch interest in Group Vagus Nerve Coaching Program. Learn how to embody and stimulate your vagus nerve in a whole new way.

I Would Do ANything For Love! – But, I Won’t Do THAT.

I would do anything for love!

But, I won’t do THAT.

 

Just like the song,

so our relationships unwind.

We have these THINGS in relationship that we refuse to do,

and some with good reason,

some because they are personal boundaries,

some because it is totally self-sacrificial to do and will only create far worse repercussions than saying, “No.”

 

Relationships are most certainly not about one partner always caving to the other.

It is not about always getting what you want.

Relationships are not about even making you feel happy, safe or comfortable.

Love just an FYI, is not about comfort.

Or getting what we want.

 

It is about getting what we need.

And when we think about what we need,

it is not that we “need” the other person to act, do, be some specific way for us.

No the “need” that relationship provides, is the support for us to  expand and grow into who we truly are as souls.

Therefore, often us getting what we need will feel like a challenge in the relationship.

It will feel uncomfortable.

It will feel testing, scary even and we will feel pushed to breathe into events and moments with our partner.

We will be asked to face our internal structures and inquire,

 

“Is this true?”

 

Is this really how I feel or am I living according to societal structures that have been put on me?

 

Am I leaning into my fear right now? or am I truly coming from my truth?

 

Love is testing.

 

Love will require us to have courage.

To have blind faith.

To open the door to trust.

And to evolve our beliefs.

 

So often though, we address love differently.

We tell our beloveds that we are:

 

👉Unconditional in our love – when in fact it is built on conditions.

👉That we would do “ANYTHING” for them – when in fact that means anything within my comfort box only, ask me to push myself a little into uncharted waters, well forget about that, I won’t do it.

👉That we want for their happiness no matter the cost – when in fact we require that happiness to fit into the picture that we have painted instead of holding space for what our partner actually needs

👉That we want them to grow, to be empowered, feel safe – when in fact yet again we only want this IF it is how we perceive that to be, NOT PUSHING US OUT OF COMFORT.

👉That we want to support them, help them achieve their dreams and become so much – when in fact even though that sounds great and groovy, we are not willing or understanding that if our partner chooses to grow and be all that, that it will require us as well to step in and do the same if we desire to keep the relationship.  If one partner grows and the other does not, then the relationship WILL end.

👉That we want them to heal – I love this one. Over almost two decades I have sat with thousands of couples who proclaim how they desire their partner to heal. How they just want the best life for them, for them to not live in the emotional/psychological and event physical pain/trauma anymore. But when faced with the road it will require to get their partner there, they instead choose to shame, guilt, even abandon and divorce. Proclaiming that they can’t do that. They cannot support that sort of healing and there has to be some other way.

 

Many years ago,

I had a lovely couple come to me.

I will never forget their consultation…

The man sat there,

so wild eyed and excited about the possibilities that laid before them as a couple.

He spoke of his desire to support his wife to become empowered,

to tap into her feminine energy again as their polarities were out of whack and she was more the man then he,

he excitedly shared how he wanted deep intimacy with her,

how he wanted to have connective sex again,

and have her into it.

He wanted her to have less stress in life and with family and that he wanted the opportunity to support her here as well,

he wanted her to have passion for life,

purpose in something she loved,

and of course he wanted her to be the sexual goddess that he knew was in there.

 

They signed up for my couple’s coaching and so the process began to “fix” his wife….lol

 

No such thing as fixing your partner people.

There is only unveiling and that is something only they can do for themselves.

 

The coaching process is about offering tools and guidance to achieve and support someone in their efforts to rebirth themselves.

 

That’s all.

No fixing.

 

Anyway, they became my clients and we started doing the deep awakening work to help them and her get the results that they wanted.

 

Fast forward 18 months,

I met with the couple and she was now glowing, radiant and happy, laughing and so full of life.

Where once I looked into eyes that were lost, empty and on the cusp of death of soul, with no ability to answer clearly anything or speak her truth,

now sat a woman on fire for life.

 

I looked at him,

He was still bubbly and happy in appearance.

He was still supporting her,

but he too was different.

He had, had an awakening of his own.

and was still in his desire to assist his beloved to heal and grow,

to come out of her shell, ‘to see her own worth and radiate the beauty that she had,

that he had to take on the mission to become the man that could hold that space for her.

Meaning he had to rebirth himself as well.

He had to face his inner demons head on,

and get real with the fact that he was not good often with what it was being required of him and them to get her to where she was going.

 

I watched this couple struggle for three years with this birthing process.

They came close a few times to divorce and throwing the towel in.

He weeped to me in session repeatedly about how he just could not support what she was doing.

He swore that it was not okay.

That if she loved him, that she would stop doing these things to him.

And yet, he saw her more radiant than ever before.

He saw her thriving.

But her thriving, (well what it took to get her there) went against almost EVERY cellular belief structure that this man had about life, relationship, marriage, men, women, love,and healing.

 

Now this couple is a success story,

he stuck it out.

She stuck it out.

They pushed through and each expanded, grew as individuals and challenged themselves to reprogram the beliefs that were holding them back in so many areas.

 

And today when I check up on them a decade or so later they are deeply in love, happy, connected and have gotten there because they chose LOVE.

 

They chose each other and they chose to not get stuck in the quicksand of old habits, fears and societal beliefs.

 

That being said,

This is not the case for most relationships proclaiming that they would do anything for love.

 

Most relationships are like the Meatloaf song.

 

They will do anything for love, but they won’t do THAT.

 

THAT thing that the song speaks of is different for all,

yet the same.

 

THAT is fear.

THAT is ego.

THAT is getting out of the box of comfort.

THAT is letting go of the concept that controlling our beloveds actions through our fear and not opening up to the possibilities of “What if, or maybe…”

 

Yes most relationships,

won’t do THAT.

 

Instead they will finger point,

blame and guilt, shame and play victim.

They will turn things around and say,

“But if YOU loved me then you would not need to do/be/act that way.”

They refuse to let go of past,

they refuse to compromise,

they refuse to just love their partner and trust in them,

and in God/Universe.

 

Most relationships opt for supporting old patterns of sabotage and trauma.

Supporting their triggers around abandonment,

around need instead of love.

 

And they try to force their beloveds hand, heart and life back into that comfortable little box that feels so good.

The logical mind in these moments support with tons of evidence as to why you want to keep that box,

it tells us why the growth,

The change is so dangerous.

And so the mission of saving self,

saving themselves from a feeling of discomfort,

turns into war with partner,

guilting and often separation.

 

My question to you today sweet reader,

is if you would do anything for love,

and you fear that by doing THAT thing that causes your heart to feel like it may stop beating if you do,

but your beloved is asking it of you so they can become full again, healed, and who they really are, so they can find their truth,

if THAT thing in your mind is going to kill the relationship,

but you saying “NO I won’t do that for love” will certainly kill the relationship, or you would rather opt for the death of relationship then doing THAT thing…

 

Then why not,

I mean let’s just go out on a limb here today….

 

Why not at least DO THAT THING and see where it takes you?

 

Worst case scenario is that you land where you were willing to go anyway.

 

Call me crazy,

but if you truly love and not need the person and the relationship,

then you have nothing to lose and everything to gain in exploring this life a bit and expanding yourself and your relationship through the support of your beloved.

 

What would you do for love?

 

As Always,

stop Existing & Start living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Enjoy these musings and free coaching? Want to level up your relationship? Expand into love and heal your past beliefs that are no longer serving your life?

Message me for deet’s on private and group coaching available world wild today.

Accessing the Light Of Your Desire.

I woke with a hunger.
My sex was on fire and I knew what I needed.
I rolled over, spread my legs and moaned a sigh of desire.
Here my turn on was,
igniting me in this moment,
making me yearn for something deeper.
Yes deeper in my sex,
but deeper in my life as well.
A feeling of fear moved through my body and I could feel myself leaning toward contraction of all this yumminess.
As I pondered the sensations,
the hunger,
the cravings and creatve juices of what was birthing from this ignition,
I also feared loosing all that I had created.
Could I survive my turn on?
Could my relationships survive my turn on?
Could the life that I had created thus far survive,
and if so how would all be transformed?
 
This is the agony of turn on.
We touch on it at moments in our life and as we feel its heat upon our flesh and in our hearts,
we fear its power.
Our power.
And question if we can survive accessing a deeper level of who we truly are.
The majority of people choose safety and mediocrety.
They step back from the flames of their SOUL ignited and they choose to ignore it.
To just maybe crack the door to their soul but a hair, so they can see its radiant light flickering through the crack,
but not enough to actual feel its essence in their lives.
 
This is the SOUL.
The soul is that of fire and freedom.
It longs to have ignition.
The oxygen of the soul is the revival of turn on and when we allow ourselves a moment to breathe into our truth,
when we ask why we are settling for so much less sthan what we know is possible,
we wake up the coals of this desire.
Each inquiry of our hearts,
each questioning of our happiness,
each moment we look a little deeper is a stoking of the fire that is hungry to be seen again.
To breathe into life.
 
The only question remains,
“Will you open to your hungers or will you hide once more form them?”
 
The hiding comes through the fear of loss,
the fear of being left alone in your fire,
and being forced to sacrifice all that you have come to love and have.
 
The truth is,
all that you love and have come to have is not stagnet energy.
It moves with time and space and in our effort to try and keep it just as it is,
we squash its life and potential as well as our own.
If what we love and have is meant to be and in alignment to our SOUL,
our heart and truth,
then it will transform with us,
embracing our desires and needs and all that we are revealing,
and if it is not of soul alignment then it must move into a new dimension of relationship with us and that may feel like its ending.
 
Is there ANYTHING in this life that is truly worthy of you stepping away from your power and truth?
 
And if you say yes to this question,
then if it is truly worthy of your sacrifice of YOU,
then would it demand this of you?
And if so , is that love?
 
When we love,
truly love,
we want for the best of another.
When we love,
truly love ourselves,
we understand that we must stand in our power and want for the best for ourselves.
We must not hide our flames of desire,
we must not squelch our turn on.
Because it is this turned on desire for life,
for joy,
for love,
for sex,
for play, connection, revealing, and truth.
That is the ignition of our empowerment.
 
A candle cannot burn when in a closed container.
Yet you may believe that yours can.
Are you living life with this idea?
Are you living in fear of you rturn on and squelching your pleasure, your truth, your power?
 
Or ar eyou asking another to live in this state with the concept that if they loved you,
if they understood your fears and pain that they would just live in a constainer?
The container that you deem safe.
 
This is a year of change.
It is a year of EMPOWERMENT my love,
and you may claim that you want fo rit,
that you want for love and freedom,
but I question if you can truly handle it.
I ask you today to sit with your fear.
To ask yourself if your fear is worth you not living truely YOU.
 
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
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Message me for full deet’s on this VIP 6 -week opportunity to work 1:1 with me and make 2020 a Year of Me!
Start of 2020 and activiating your Yes year to You by saying YES to this potent opportunity today.

Fortune Favors the BOLD – But Why?

It is said that fortune favors the BOLD.
And from my experience this is an accurate assessment.
I know who you are,
Wanting to be bold.
Looking for opportunities to “let your hair down” and prove to the world and yourself that you can be comfortable in your boldness.
Or at least what you currently perceive as bold.
Stripping yourself bare,
Doing things that feel seductive in their discomfort.
Pushing your boundaries with the hope and belief that your actions will PROVE that you are comfortable being you.
That you are your own boss.
That you are owned by no one.
Yes,
You know who you are.
You know you feel that hunger deep inside your soul
and you are looking for a way to feed it.
A way to connect to what you know is at your core,
To whom you pray at night to find,
And cross your fingers is truly you.
But you are still lost,
Aren’t you?
You are still searching my love.
And THIS…
THIS is why you struggle.
THIS is why you are still chasing your desires.
THIS is why you feel that inner wobble.

You know what I speak of.
That feeling of uncertainty.
That feeling of not knowing.
That sensation of not yet being steady
But instead still full of questions.

Is this correct?
Am I doing it right?
Am I enough or maybe too much?
Am I worthy, truly worthy without reason to have the life that I want?

You feel it calling you.
You feel the drawing in like a lover across the room,
Wanting you.
And you want it too.
You try to not let yourself daydream about what could be.
About how it could feel.
But when you do…

You get wet and tingly.
You get aroused by this seductress.
You want it.
You know you do.
But do you dare?

It will require you to do what you have never done before.
It will require you to be BOLD like never before.
To move past the need to prove,
To ignore your need to show you can,
Or to walk or talk the way you “think” confidence walks or talks.
To stop trying to force it to happen.
To stop trying to force yourself to grow.
To be something or someway.
To stop trying in general.
Boldness is nothing more than just BEING YOU.
And daring to LIVE.

The fact you are searching so hard,
Feeling so lost,
Caught in your wobble.
Shows how out of alignment to your SOUL you really are.
Shows your lostness.
And the fortunes that you crave will never materialize while you remain out of alignment.
While you continue to be BOLD.

Fortune favores the BOLD.
The BOLD who dare to LIVE.

That is.
Which is one of the rarest events in this world.

Ask yourself today..

Am I truly living?
Or just pretending?

And remember
Stop Existing & Start Existing
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

Message me for deet’s on my 1:1 coaching and inquire NOW about my 12 Days of F-cking Awesomeness Christmas Sale.

STOP BEING A YES WHORE.

[jwplayer mediaid=”10519″]

STOP BEING A YES WHORE.

Wow! Kendal that is a harsh statement for a Friday morning.

What do you mean by, “Yes Whore?”

You are guilty beautiful of doing just this.
I am guilty too.
There is not a soul on this planet that has not fallen into the illusion of being a yes whore and believing that it is the road to our happiness.

Every time you say YES to someone and you actually mean NO, you are in an essence whoring yourself out and dishonoring self and the relationship that you are YESSING all over.

Every time that inauthentic YES pops out of your mouth and you find yourself swallowing your own needs, desires, ideas, and value because you feel that you “should” do this or that to be a nice person, to be helpful, to offer support, to show you love, etc. etc.

You sabotage yourself!
You sabotage the relationship.
And you loose respect.

I have been in the business of relationship coaching in one facet or another for two decades now and the one thing that I hear repeatedly is, ” I can’t say no, that would be mean.”

“He is my husband… I love him, I can’t say no.”
“She is so sweet and working so hard, she needs this/needs me… I can’t say no.”
“They are really struggling right now, I can’t say no.”
“They need me.”
“I don’t know how I am going to do it but I can’t say no.”

And following these wonderful words of what seem’s like love and support come…

” I am so exhausted, I just don’t have anything left to give, why can’t they/he/she see that?”

“I just feel like a all people ever want me for is ___________________.”

“You know, I have had it… I have been busting myself open here, doing everything I can, to show how much I care and I ask for one small thing and get told no after everything that I have done.”

“Doesn’t he/she see that I really don’t want to do that/feel like it?

“I would be all alone if I said what I really want or need.”

These and so many other things in so many subjects of our lives.

Just think about all the moments that you actually wanted to respond with NO but opted to say yes because you did not want to hurt the relationship, the other persons feelings or damage your value in the relationship.

Think of all those moments that if you get real with yourself you answered YES because you were answering out of fear and/or lack of self-worth.

Well you see beautiful,
these are the times that you were whoring yourself out.

There is no honor or respect in being out of integrity and not being honest with your answer.

You answered YES in exchange for something that you wanted or needed. You put little value on what is so precious and worth so much in hopes that you could,
if but only for a short time,
buy someones love, time, appreciation,
so that you would feel good.

But the funny thing is,
much like a whore who is just selling off their sex and not looking for anything real, lasting or of value,
you find yourself having to consistently whore yourself out to the point of being used up just to get a taste of what you are actually wanting.
And much like the client of the whore who is trying to fill a void and is just buying the illusion of the intimacy and connection,
you are finding yourself feeling used, abused and alone.

The relationships that you are doing this with are the relationships that you need to GET REAL with yourself on.

If you want to experience true happiness.
If you want to be respected.
If you want to have that soulmate relationship based in love,
if you want to feel supported, safe, understood,
If you want to stop questioning yourself and the relationships that you have,
and just BE YOU-
and THRIVE.

if you want that F-ck YES! Life…

Well is starts by you STOPPING YOURSELF FROM BEING A YES WHORE.

The ONLY person you need to answer YES to ALWAYS….

Is YOU.

And you see, if you answer yes to you 100% of the time,
you will find that you will be living authentically and in integrity.
And guess what that means beautiful?

It means you will gain trust, respect, real love and support.
It means that you will NOT ALWAYS make someone else happy,
that you will respect and love yourself enough to know that you are not responsible for anyone else’s emotional response, mental thoughts or even physical actions.
It means that you will no longer be enabling another’s victim mindset in their unconscious maneuver to control you and feel loved themselves.

It means that you will be one step closer to manifesting the life that you are worthy of.

So Stop Being a YES WHORE and Release Yourself from That Which Binds You.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Been thinking about your happiness and success?
Wanting to SAY YES! To Yourself?
Let’s Make it happen beautiful in work, love and life.
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Denial Is Preventing You From Living Your F-ck Yes! Life.

Do you feel like you are missing something?
 
I watch you daily beautiful and I see that you want a life full of reward,
full of joy and abundance,
full of connection and a life where you can just BE YOU unapologetically.
 
I watch you sharing your heart about things,
posting pictures of your babies,
putting out your desires of travel and not having to worry about making ends meet,
but in turn having more than enough with plenty left over.
 
I see you.
 
I also see your lostness.
I see your fear to step away from what is so familiar.
I see you sharing from a place of desperation.
I see your words that you paint but you cannot stand behind energetically.
I see you making claims and wanting to believe them,
but feeling like you are an imposture in the same.
 
I witness your gifts daily beautiful.
I have witnessed the beauty in your heart.
 
But you are still missing something.
You know the THING.
The thing that you are missing,
that you just cannot seem to fully surrender too.
The thing that keeps calling your name,
grabbing your attention,
and you say no too.
 
Yet you KNOW.
Don’t you?
 
You KNOW, that if you keep ignoring it that you will never accomplish what you want.
 
You seek,
you search,
you gain more education,
and you stumble forward on this path of yours.
Every time you fall to your knees,
you look around and wonder why…
 
Why have you not yet made it happen?
Why does all this hard work not get you to where you want?
Why does it seem that no one see’s your efforts or cares?
Why does it work for so and so, but not for you?
How much longer can you keep pushing like you are before you really crash and can give no more?
 
 
It’s this THING beautiful.
It’s just this THING…
You keep turning away from it.
You keep ignoring it’s existence in your life.
You keep saying that it is not so even though your SOUL leads you to it consistently.
 
But it is missing from your life.
And you keep allowing it to be missing.
You search for it and act as though you don’t know what it is.
 
Your lies do not become you beautiful.
These lies to self,
they do not serve you but to keep you in what is familiar,
what is comfortable and safe.
 
The average and ordinary that you claim that you do not desire to be living,
you stick too like glue by denying the realness of what you ignore.
 
The THING beautiful that you are looking for…
The THING that you are missing….
The THING that is holding you back and keeping your dreams at bay.
 
This thing,
it’s your BELIEF.
Your conviction.
Your commitment.
It’s all about you BEING YOU.
 
The THING that you are missing and looking so hard for is YOU.
 
Your dreams are not manifesting because you are denying yourself.
 
Your desires are cast away from you and replaced with worry because you are not listening to your SOUL.
 
And the reason you cannot find yourself is because you are insistent that you are lost.
 
As long as you proclaim that you don’t know…
As long as you state your reality to be one of not having…
As long as you continue chasing something that you believe you do not currently posses…
 
YOU will remain out alignment with EVERYTHING you want.
 
YOU will remain out of alignment with EVERYTHING you want.
 
It is time beautiful,
to pull back the curtains on your truth.
It is time own who you are.
But you will have to change what you have been focused on.
You will have to rattle your own cage,
and step fully into the responsibility of being you.
 
Are you ready?
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
I know that you may be scared.
I have been in those shoes before all too many time.
But that fear is not going to stop you.
You are powerful.
Introducing 12- weeks of “Unstoppable Power – It’s My Time To Fly!”
This is a once in a life time to work with me 1:1 from anywhere in the world.
If you are a man or a woman who is looking for a powerful game-changing opportunity to claim the life that you desire in FAITH and learn how you can access your dreams quickly by releasing old programs based in fear and shame around your worthiness, joy and abundance then this 12-weeks is for you.
Stop letting everything be an excuse!
You deserve better than those reasons you have to stay trapped in your comfort bubble of suffering.
Let’s level up your life over summer.
Message me for deet’s or leave a comment here.

Why Is She So Perfect?

Radiant.
Glowing.
Smiling and happy.
 
Why is she so perfect?
In love with life,
and life is in love with her.
The gift of life.
The gift of joy,
of family, community and love.
The gift to be able to provide a moment to those she loves.
 
Yes she is so perfect.
She is you and you are her.
She lives within your soul.
She asks to be seen,
more of then all that you often choose to share.
Her light,
her wisdom,
her happiness.
Desire to be seen.
Her heart wants nothing more than your embrace,
To touch and love,
to sing and dance.
 
Yes she is so perfect.
 
That angelic light, radiating from deep within.
It hides nothing,
reveals everything.
and is ignited by life.
Her wings are bold,
their spread is wide.
They carry her hopes, her dreams and aspirations.
They protect and nurture,
they support and shield.
Her wings,
are yours.
Embrace them and fly.
 
Why is she so perfect?
She is you and you are her.
United forever but must be revealed.
The soul of an angel,
the passion of a beast.
The wisdom of sages,
the courage of a warrior.
 
Why is she so perfect?
I will tell you her secret.
I will share right here.
 
She is perfect.
Yes indeed.
Because she is WHO YOU ARE.
She is SOUL.
She is TRUTH.
But to listen beautiful,
you must allow.
You must surrender and learn to love once again.
You must open and be flexible,
you must not desire to hide no more.
You must find your FAITH once more,
to spread those wings,
to shine that light.
You must step into WHO YOU ARE.
 
She is perfect.
She is you and you are her.
A divine and beautiful creature.
When tapped in and turned on,
You Ignite this dark World
You bring hope and joy to all those you touch,
they flock to you,
they hunger to hear your words,
to be touched by your message
and lifted up to theirs.
 
Yes, she is perfect.
because she is daring.
Because she loves true.
Because she knows herself.
Because she fears but does not hide.
Because she doubts but does not quit.
Because she looks into her eye’s,
she see’s her pain,
she see’s her fear,
she’ rests in FAITH.
 
She is perfect.
She is you and you are her.
But First beautiful,
YOU MUST BELIEVE.
 
Rest in your surrender to SOUL.
Find comfort in your raw vulnerability.
Passion in your courage and fear.
And footing in the LEAP YOU ARE TAKING.
 
Leap Beautiful,
Leap and free fall,
for your wings were designed to catch you,
you and this dark world,
that you are meant to lift up.
To share.
To teach.
To spread the light and love.
Yes leap beautiful.
 
Leap and Trust in Your Wings.
 
——————— 🙌 ——————————–
 
This picture I share today is a snipped pic from a video that my daughter took two years ago. She put the title of “Why is she so Perfect” on the video and across the stream. To feel my daughters love and adoration like this is one thing, but my realization in her share of this memory is one I had to share with YOU today.
 
I write this message above for me.
I write it for you too beautiful.
Female or male, ‘we are all beautiful.
We are all worthy.
We all have a message.
And my message never changes to you.
 
It STAND UP, SPEAK OUT, and THRIVE.
 
Accept your worth.
Accept your power.
Accept WHO YOU ARE.
 
 
And Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Imagine letting go of your fear,
letting go of your shame.
What would your life be like if you were working with a mentor that could help you level up your life and let go of all those things that no longer serve you?
What would you like to release? Let go of and create for your EMPOWERED Life?
 
Let’s talk.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Coaching today.
 
 
 
 

The Soul Sucking That You Are Addicted To.

I remember the days when I had to almost literally be drug out of bed to go to my J-O-B.

I am serious.
I was drug like a kid out of my bed.
The last “real” job I had was back in the 1990’s when I sold large appliances for Circuit City. I was 18 years old and fresh out in the world. Planning my wedding and working 40+ hours each week at a job that I hated.
I remember looking at my pay checks,
part of me proud and part of me so frustrated.
Two weeks worth of work.
80+ hours of my time and energy.
Living at a place that my heart and soul hated,
learning to sell extended service programs that I did not believe in.
And all of this soul sucking for a whopping $650 every two weeks!

WTF!
I look back at those days and I wonder how I survived such disgust. But I did.
Until one day, a week before my wedding when I had a meeting with my manager ( who was so very grumpy herself, a woman who was owned by the company).
She pulled me in her office to informed me that even though I had requested a week off to get married and enjoy a few days honeymoon months before,
and we are talking many months before,
matter a fact it was at my hire.
That after consideration, management had decided that I could not have the time off as I had not worked there long enough to take a vacation…

Excuse me?

I had been giving all my time and energy to this place.
I had made good sales,
sold the freaking extended service programs that were crap even, and was now informed that I had to choose between my job and my wedding….

LOL.

Yeppers I chose my wedding.

I watched all my fellow colleagues work their bumbs off,
and sacrifice their families, their holidays, events and very life to make sure to be there for this place of business.
They felt that it was a duty, it was loyalty, it was responsible.

They had too.
And I saw these same people a few years later,
looking for anything to ease them.
Alcohol. Drugs. Sex.

The addictions grew and they stayed addicted to this soul sucking life experience, called their J-O-B.

As time went on, I learned and grew.
I got education around psychology, mindset, habits and so much more.
I explored multiple opportunities to expand myself and my pocket book. Hoping to get rich overnight almost ( with a little hard work of course too). Some were partially successful, some not so much. All had a system, a pre-created pattern to success in this business or that.
None felt in alignment to my soul or heart, but I kept trying to drink the Koolade.

No matter what I tried, if it was not in alignment it did not take long for my whole being to feel drained and lost in life.
I could not figure out what was wrong with me.
Surely not all of these opportunities were bad.
It must be something I was doing.

And it was something that I was doing.
I was sacrificing my soul,
my life for something that someone else had built, created and told me was the way to get what I wanted, instead of following my heart.

Soul suck after soul suck,
I felt addicted to trying this or that out in the attempt to achieve SUCCESS.

I wanted nothing more than to just be me.
I wanted to be a BIG earner in some company.
I wanted to speak and share, educate and help others in some fashion or form.
Be a thought leader.
A visionary.
A crusader.

I wanted to make positive changes in this world, and help people feel good, live an abundant life. And I truly believed that I had to do this through someone else’s way. That I did not have the skills, ideas, education, know how to be an influencer.

And so I continued for years to explore companies that promised so many beautiful things but all felt so empty to my soul at the end of the day because they were selling something that in my opinion did not really change lives the way that I desired to change lives.

They were not my purpose work.
My soul was not captivated by any of them.
But they did soul suck the life out of me and I was honestly addicted to this process without really realizing it.

Much like many are addicted to going to the J-O-B and making sure the BOSS man is happy, or that the company is taken care of but not even truly believing in what they are doing. Or perhaps one day many years ago they believed in the greatness of this or that company, they were on board with the mission, but now today, it is a paycheck. It is a bonus check. It is relatively easy work, but still empty.

And they feel drained.
Lost in their lives and choose to mask and cover the pain of a life that is empty with something that eases the pain.
Proclaiming that one day, one day they will do that thing.
That thing that they would love to do.
You know the thing.
The thing you desire.
The thing that turns you on.
The things that makes you wish you could be working at it, creating it, building it, putting yourself into it.
FULLY.

Yes that thing.
Not a thing that is soul sucking,
but is life giving.
Will make you THRIVE.
And if you applied yourself to this thing,
would not only make your soul sing,
but bring you abundance in so many ways and HAPPINESS.

Yes that thing.

Well that is where I got to pretty damn quick in my life.
I looked out at this world of lost souls, hungry people who craved more but was addicted to the suffering.
Who did not know how to change.
How to escape this track they had gotten on.
Where they would find their happiness, or if it was even okay to contemplate happiness.

I could not do it!
I could not settle.
I could not sell my soul to this way of existing.
I had to speak who I was, be me and do my own thing.
Feed my soul.

And I want you to know that you too can feed your soul.
I want you to know that if you are one of the very many people out there that want for so much more in life, dislike where you are sitting at in your life, in your work, your relationships, your happiness level or anything else, but feel CALLED to go another path. To be something that you have always wanted but are unsure as to how….

That you are only a decision away.
You do not have to give up everything you currently have and do to have it either, but you MUST be willing to STEP FULLY into who you are.
To listen to your SOUL and to stop hiding.
Stop masking and avoiding.

The steps to a fulfilling life, a life that you have claimed and are living authentically may not mean to quite your job, or move states or countries, or change partners. No it may not mean any of that. It more than likely means none of that. But what it does mean is that you stop taking your own crap. Stop hiding from your desire to be something you know you were born to be.

Do you have a calling that you have been avoiding?
A mission that your soul knows is yours?
A passion that ignites your very soul, but currently you are lost as to how to expand it, make its successful, make it stand out and touch lives? Touch this world?
You can have it.
You can.

And remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Want to know how I help people move from a soul sucking existence into living their calling and speaking from their soul? I help mompreneur and entrepreneurs of all back ground not just create a freedom based life but live a F-ck YES! Lifestyle doing whatever their SOUL calls them to.

Let’s explore this for you.
FREE 1:1 Entrepreneur Consultation till May 22, 2019.

My Simple Secret that Took Me from $17k Year to Multi-Six Figures

Living for the weekends.

This was a shirt I saw on a woman this morning at Starbucks.

Yesterday, I was working with a gentleman and he looked at me as he left my office and said, “Thank goodness it is Friday.”

My attorney for my custody case with my ex texted me, “His attorney has not responded yet, so I called and found out that her office closes at 1pm on Fridays. Must be nice.”

Weekends.
Is that when your life begins?
Weekends.
Is then when you decide to allow joy in? Connect? Do the things you want?
Weekends.

Okay so maybe it is not just weekends.
I bet you are more like….

Weekends.
Friday at 5pm. ( or whatever your 5pm end of the workday is)
Holidays.
Vacation days.
And an occasion fake sick day.

Does that sound more like it?
Do you live for that two or three weeks of vacation you get every year. Planning out where you are going to park your ass. Thinking about how much down time you can handle. And what you will do with it.

Does this sound like LIVING?

It sure the f-ck does not to me.
It never has.
I have never been a good employee.
Which is why I gave being one up at the ripe old age of 23.
Almost 20 years later and I can honestly tell you that even with all the trials, the suffering, the stress of what came because I chose a path to follow my heart and soul that I would not play my cards any different.
I would not choose to sell my life off by the hour to some corporation.
It just is not me.
I am my own BOSS.
Always have been.

The trick to being my own BOSS and being good at it has been the learning of what it means to get daily more and more into soul alignment.
To not allow my fear,
my doubt,
or anyone else’s to get in the way of what I am being called to do.

This is the toughest thing to do and yet it is so simple.

I cannot share with you my gratitude for the life that I have manifested for myself and my family.

I watch it blossom into something that I could never have imagined possible.

The relationships.
The experiences.
The love.
The abundance.

All because I CLAIMED IT.
I CHOOSE it.

And it is true choosing.
That is the lesson I want to express to you today.

You cannot just give it lip service.
You must COMMIT to it.
Commit to yourself.
Commit to the JOURNEY.

The journey is one that will test you.
It is one that will make you weep,
give you butterflies in your stomach,
make you ache and shudder in fear.
It will captivate you if you let it.
And this will be the only path that you can take once you venture far enough down the trail to your SOUL.

But the expression of your soul,
it is so beautiful.
So strong.
Powerful.
Magnificent.

It is the light that this world,
that the people you love and cherish,
MUST WITNESS.

That is IF….
if you CHOOSE to reveal yourself.
And to CLAIM YOUR LIFE.

Which means that the weekends will no longer mean anything.
It will cast out the five o’clock hour, because it is pointless and control that you will no longer live by.
It will say PTO days…Bah-hahaha.
It will look at your schedule, your vacations which will now just be your life,
and it will smile at its splendor.
Your soul expression will carry you to the heights that God wants you to be living at.

It is there.
It is there that you will find your happiness.
Not a step in any other direction.

But will you say YES?
Will you step into this greatness?
Will you build your legacy?

Or will you just continue on this path that society has set out for you,
living for the weekends?
Living according to someone else’s agenda?

I am here to tell you that if I can go from raising five children on $17k a year and getting government assistance to traveling the world, working an average of 15 hours a week from anywhere that I proclaim, and making a multi-six figure income as a single mom to seven. That YOU CAN have your dreams too.

And no I did not do this in some MLM company.
I do not work for anyone but myself.
All I ever do,
is show up as me.
Live as my soul desires.
Share what I am called to share.
And reveal my SOUL EXPRESSION.

I continuously CHOOSE to step more into alignment with who I am.

And THAT is ALL I do.
Daily.
Moment by Moment.

What will you Choose?

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Join me in October for 5 weeks of transformation,
where YOU Claim Your LIFE in 2018 Once and For All.
Message me for details….
or
Become a VIP Client NOW!!! From anywhere in the world.

ANNOUNCING! F-CK YES Life Entrepreneur Coaching Launching In October 2018. Message me to be added to pre-launch informational.