It Takes Courage To Have An Authentic Relationship.

IT TAKES COURAGE TO HAVE AN AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIP.

 

I have this belief that ALL…

Yes ALL people who are in an intimate relationship with another need to go through the inquiry and inner work as well and relating work  that those who have successful open relationships do.

 

I believe that no matter how you label your relationship,

that you should explore authentic relating for what it really means.

 

Most monogamous couples “think” they know each other.

“Think” they love each other unconditionally.

“Think” they are best friends and trust each other.

“Think” they are doing it right and will have success.

 

Most people who decide to open up their relationships choose to do so at a low period in their primary relationship and “think” that opening up will fix something.

“Think” that you can just overnight shift gears and that this thing called inner work and couples work to set agreements, learn each other and communicate are not needed.

That you can go zero to 100 overnight so to speak.

 

Both cases are detrimental to the relationship.

And it’s because the number one issue in relationships is communication.

 

And I am sure you may be among the many who believes that you communicate well with your partner.

You may think that you got this fully taken care of ,

but I ask you, is this true?

 

98% of couples that I have worked with over the last 15+ years come in telling me that they are good if not great communicators,

that their partner is their bestie and they can tell them anything.

But not three sessions into coaching and the truth is discovered.

 

They suck at communication.

Because they keep it at a surface level.

There is no depth in relating.

And if they touch on depth,

it causes confrontation,

triggers old wounds and fears,

and both parties end up dancing in their ego’s and speaking from their pain bodies instead of their heart centers.

 

So they avoid it.

They shut their truth down,

they tell their partners a softer version or nothing at all,

and they hide the best they can from themselves for as long as they can as to not rock the perfect picture of a loving connected relationship that they are wanting to paint.

 

When the hard fact is that they have challenges.

 

It takes courage to speak up in a relationship.

It takes courage to be real in a relationship.

It takes courage to listen without trying to change, control or freak out about what might be being shared in a relationship.

It takes courage to remain stable inside yourself when living authentically with another.

And it takes courage to be raw and real with yourself so you can do all the above.

 

But f-ck is it worth it,

just like you are worth it and so is your relationship.

 

You see, if you are among the many who are not operating at this level of authentic relationship but desire open communication, unconditional love, acceptance, honesty and truth in the relationship and from your partner,

then how is it ever going to be possible if you live hiding from yourself and basing your feelings and actions in fear of losing your partner?

 

If you are making your partner responsible for your happiness and worthiness then how can they ever just be themselves and state their truth to you?

 

If you are holding expectations as to what they need to do, how they need to act then how can they share their truth with you about anything that may pose a difficult conversation? And how is this unconditional love?

 

If you define yourself based on your relationship,

which simply means you are not strong in WHO YOU ARE,

then how can you be truthful with another?

 

To be authentic, truthful and honest with another you first must KNOW YOURSELF and be strong at your core so you are not rocked by another.

 

Remember that humans are fickle.

We ebb and flow,

we all are live waves in our feelings, emotions, thoughts and that we get caught in our wounds as well as our desires.

 

In authentic relating we understand that

there is your business,

there is my business,

and there is God’s business,

and that we each are ONLY RESPONSIBLE for one of those.

Anything else is sticking our noses where they are not needed.

 

The most unconditional loving person is the person who knows themselves, loves themselves first, and can embrace their shadow self as well as their glorious light.

They know their worth and it is not dependent on any outside source.

 

This is a person who can love deeply and unconditionally.

This is a person who can truly be honest and real.

This is a person who is self-empowered and therefore has the ability to allow for their partner to grow, to speak, to change.

 

As it is so intended.

relationships need to evolve over time.

This means that both parties need to do the same.

 

Expecting ourselves, our partners or the relationship to remain the same,

causes stagnation to our individual growth and the evolution of our love and relationships.

This is the coward’s path.

And it typically results in two things:

*Unhappiness

*Relationship Failure

 

It takes courage to relate authentically.

It takes courage to relate in unconditional love.

It takes courage to catch our control issues in a relationship.

It takes courage to see our fear based actions, feelings and thoughts for what they are… fear of our own inadequacies, fear of our worthiness and lack of value, the lack of personal acceptance cast onto our partner, and fear of abandonment.

 

But when we stand in courage and face our truth,

love ourselves through our fears,

we open the gates to deep, penetrative love and acceptance with our partner.

 

And THIS….

THIS is what we all crave and desire.

 

You are worthy of this beauty.

You are worthy of this sort of love.

 

Offer it to yourself and your partner today,

by starting with seeing YOURSELF authentically and leaning into those difficult conversations.

 

Reach out to me if you want information on how to go about just this and more.

Learn authentic relating no matter your relationship title to create an evolved loving relationship that fits your soul’s path now.

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

If You Don’t Have Courage You Are F-cked!

OMG! I am so addicted to Ozark.

I have been just loving this Netflix series and a person like myself that never really sits down to watch television of any sort. It’s perfect to find a series that is a few seasons in so I can binge watch it at points in my life when I am in the groove to do just that.

 

And that is what I have been doing in the evenings a few nights a week over the last month.

 

So I am on Season 3 of Ozark,

and don’t worry all you peep’s who are on previous seasons,

I am not going to spoil anything  for you in this share today.

But this season for sure does some twists and turns and leaves you going, “well that is about time” at points and then has you saying, “OMFG! did that just happen?” at other points.

 

The other night though, Wendy the main female lead for Ozark was putting on an event for this politician. As they were walking around the event site discussing things they end up in a conversation about what people want from a leader, and Wendy with her background in politics says to this man, “If you don’t have courage you are f-cked!”

 

This man’s face was questioning and curious to her statement, and she goes on to explain simply to him that the people want to see and will only follow and respect someone who has the balls to stand out there and speak up.

 

Which made me think about the truth of this statement.

And what it means to you and me,

the common folk (lol… I am far from f-cking common…and I hope that you are too.)

 

To be courageous in life.

To be courageous in our desires.

To be courageous in our relationships,

and with our health and well-being.

To be courageous in our work,

in our play,

in our spiritual paths.

 

Courageous equates to this simple truth,

Fortune or even better Well-Being and Abundance of all things wanted for favors the BOLD.

 

AKA – COURAGEOUS.

 

SO what Wendy in Ozark stated is true for any of us,

if we wanat for a life that manifests our dreams,

that provides us with the love and money,

the health and purpose,

the connection and respect,

the fulfillment that we want for,

then we must be couragous or we are f-cked.

 

In not being courageous we sacrifice EVERYTHING.

We turn it over to the luck of the draw you could say and our draw will remain of unsatisfactory measures because we are throwing our hands up and being a victim to the world instead of boldly standing in our dream, in our passion, in our truth.

 

People come to me all the time,

and even just this last few days in my dozen or so client appointment that I did 1:1 with beautiful peep’s,

I was presented the common statement of,

 

” I just can’t stop thinking this way.”

” I am just stuck right here and I don’t know what to do.”

“Everything I try doing does not work.”

“You said just turn my attention to something that feels better and that only works for a few moments then I am right back to the crazy, crazy in my head where I am caught in a negative loop.”

 

Well, my soul response to these statements,

these beliefs that are being verbalized is simple,

“It takes f-cking courage to catch yourself and to stay the course of loving yourself enough to see when you are down this rabbit hole and know that there is not a damn thing that you can do about it because you have built too much momentum around it.

 

It takes courage to see this truth, to take responsibility for it and love yourself out of it by dropping that ball of momentum and focusing in on something that feels totally off topic and silly,

even meaningless, but has no negative charge to it. Is easy. and then apply playful focus to this meaningless thought that actually feels good.

 

It takes courage to do this.

Because it goes against everything that we have been taught in our human experience by those who we love and respect, who have our best interest in heart and who have lived more than us. It takes courage to go against the concept that we have to dig more into an issue to resolve it and change it.

 

But when you truly think about it it’s crazy to keep adding more attention to that, that we do not desire to manifest. Focusing in on it will only guarantee our failure, or the same results that we have been getting and will only assure us more negative feelings and fear. It will only solidify the evidence against us.

 

You can not fix a problem as long as you are part of it.

You can not change negative thoughts and feelings that have a ton of momentum as long as you remain in them,

being in the middle of the thought and trying to think yourself out of it from that space of negativity and focus on the subject that you have resistance, thus pain wrapped up around will NEVER,

I mean never get you what you want.

You will never change your stinking thinking this way.

 

You will only expand and grow in it to create more of it and bounce around from negative thought to negative thought with a split second of relief here and there, only to give it back up again to what you are comfortable in,

the negative.

 

So if you are wanting to change your physical, mental and emotional experiences in your life to something that feels more fulfilling, loving, connective, joyful and abundant than you have to be courageous enough to catch yourself in your crap and then courageous enough to to drop it where it is and just except that that though path is going to run a muck, but you don’t have to keep playing with it, you don’t have to keep it active. And your best bet is to find something that is almost meaningless to play with, but is easy to think good about, to feel good about.

 

Create momentum around that and watch the other fizzle out.

 

It’s a bold move love.

It’s going to require you to step away from the comfort of chaos and drama,

away from your normal feelings,

away from what you perceive as your truth,

and to instead stand in courage and do what is right for you.

 

And when you do this consistently the rewards will be phenomenal.

Your life picture will change,

your path will expand and your dreams will start to emerge before your eyes like magic.

 

What you want for, wants you too.

But you have to have the courage to level up yourself and your life to manifest it with ease.

 

You are so worthy of this and more.

Have courage today to soothe yourself instead of beat yourself.

 

In love to you always.

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

 

It is time that you say YES to you.

Message Me for deet’s on 1:1 coaching now.

I can kick your a*s from anywhere globally.

Resistance to Your Heart Is Holding Back Your Desired Life.

The sky was coming down on me.

There I lay,

thrown out on the cold, damp grass…

Staring up into the heavens,

the full moon casting its light  down on me as though it was encouraging my breakdown.

I felt the earth beneath my body,

firm and cold to my plea,

my plea of not being enough.

 

This life that I have created,

this life that I love so deeply,

with all of its souls,

all the adventure,

all of the beauty.

Many days I feel that I am not good enough for this life.

I question why God has been so good to me?

Why do I keep reaping blessings,

why do people share such deep love with me,

Why do they value me so?

 

Don’t they see…

Don’t they see the human that I am.

The girl who still feels that she is not enough.

That pigeon toed wallflower who is lost in this thing called life?

 

Don’t they see that I fear myself.

I fear my messages.

I fear the spirit that moves through me,

that provides me such intensity at times.

 

I fear my heart.

That it may be wrong in its judgement,

it may guide me to loss and pain.

I fear that it was my heart that caused all of the pain,

and I know differently.

I know that the pain,

the sorrow,

is all based in my desire to control the outcome of my life.

I know that my heart which speaks from the place of deep understanding of soul,

never missguides.

It does not judge.

It knows.

It knows it truth,

and it just asks that I listen.

 

But I find on some days I cannot hear it for all the chaos that this beautiful life of mine has in it.

 

I cannot make out who I am on some days,

for who I am trying to be for everyone else.

 

And in this,

I become lost.

Just as you.

 

I snuggle into my humanness,

and I hold myself strong to the course that my head,

that my ego and all of society would tell me to be right and true.

And then in my final moments,

before I LET GO….

I find myself fighting to not drop to my knees,

to not lean in to this call.

This call that is so overpowering,

so enticing and juicy.

This call that I know if I let it pull me will guide me to all that I have wanted.

 

But I resist just a moment more.

I harden myself to all that I feel,

I toughen up like I have been told,

and I smile though I want to weep.

 

I say yes when I should say no.

I resist my truth yet some more.

As though it is helping me.

As though this will make me happy,

and solve my worlds problems.

 

Oh how funny we humans are.

How silly we are to run from all that we want,

all the while claiming we are pushing toward it.

 

We can not see our path,

as it lays out with each blind step that we take,

we cannot see it,

but if we learn to LET GO,

we can feel it.

It moves through us,

it moves us with each breath,

and those who choose to drop to their knees,

to lean into the call,

and allow our hearts to be seen,

if only for that flicker in time,

we grasp vision from the heavens above,

and we move.

 

 

Softly.

Gracefully.

In love.

 

We move.

 

But what you may not want to see,

is the mess,

the mess of this dropping.

The mess of letting go,

it may appear that one is falling apart,

trembling and lost more than ever before,

but this is a moment of expansion.

And a moment of revealing.

A moment where the heart leads.

 

There are no breakdowns,

only breakthroughs.

 

But we must allow them to be seen.

As we allow our hearts the same,

and through this process of shattering,

we transform who we are into who we were born to be.

 

BREATHE.

 

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Feel like you are lost and falling apart at the seams?

Like you have been working so hard for the life that you want,

but it still is not before you.

Let’s chat! Let’s get you cracked open and expanded so that YOU can call it in NOW.

 

Reach out to me about deet’s on 1:1 coaching and group now.

I View All My Clients As Lovers.

It is frequently assumed that I go on many dates with many men..

It is assumed that to be a coach who teaches people how to have more, and deeper better sex that I must be loose or easy to bed.

That sex is something I am addicted too even.

Its often assumed that because I am the mother of seven that I am uncontrollable and quenchless in my thirst for sex or orgasm.

People often say to me,
” you would think that a sex coach would have figured out what causes pregnancy by now.”

Many look at me with horrified questioning eyes as they inquire if I will have any more children or why I am not currently married.

The assumptions roll through thier minds and almost escape thier lips.

Perhaps even you dear reader and follower wonder and question.
Perhaps you are among the assumers.
And I want you to know that I thank you.
I thank you for all that you feel.
All that you think.
And all that you sometimes goofily share in your assumptions.

I see your humanness.
And I do not judge it.
As you judge me.

I know what my truth is.
I know whom I love.
I know that my heart,
My message and my calling is felt and seen by those it is meant for.

Not everyone can be like a taco as my best friend would say.
And even though I may have a body part that resembles,
I am still not a taco.

I write this musing this evening to shed the light on how we judge what we do not understand.
How we cast stones with certainty,
But are enraged when they are thrown back without due reason in our opinion.

Today I share with you from a place I choose to call the labyrinth of mirrors.

This is the place where we can choose to see ourselves in ALL we come in contact with on our life journey,
Or we can turn away from them,
Look downward and become lost in the maze of our own fears and self criticism.

What do you choose my sweet human?
To be judge and jury to all in your life
And that you meet on your path.

Or to be human.
To be human means to be compassionate.
To self and to others.
To know that we do not know what anothers shoes are like.
What the path they have traveled took them through.
To be human means that you stand as witness not judge.
And to witness another is one of the greatest gifts we can ever offer.
To allow ourselves to be witnessed is the next.

Just yesterday I was working with a dear client of mine. This man has love streaming from every energy fiber he has. And yet he struggles with allowing himself the simple pleasure of recieving that love back.

I left him with the words,
” One day I hope you give me the gift of you allowing yourself to recieve my love.”

Now that statement may instantly bring up assumptions and judgments in you about me.
Or my coaching practice.
What does Kendal do with her clients?
Is she in romantic relations with them.

And you can assume.
You can judge.
And you can cast your head down and keep stubling through your maze.

Be my guest.

What I can tell you is that each day it is revealed and I am reminded of the deep intimacy I hold with these souls that are labled my clients.

They are not my clients.
They are my lovers.
I love each of them deeply.
Men.
Women.
Couples.
The intimacy, vulnerability, rawness and depth that they trust me with is without messure one of the greatest gifts of this life time for me.

And yes….
I love my clients.
I love them for thier willingness to stop bouncing off the walls of thier maze and instead to sit still and let them selves be revealed through the mirrors that are presented on thier path.

I love them for thier courage to catch thier inner judge and jury and fire them daily,
While loving themselves at a more intense level.

I love them for the tender moments that they give grace…
TO THEMSELVES.

I love them for the humor and laughter as they learn how to skip through thier errors and self defeating patterns.

Yes they are my lovers.
And I love them for the blessings that they are.

Now back to that dating thing….
I have dated a few men in my time.
And I have dated many at the same time.
But the men of my current…
The men I choose daily.
These men you may or may never meet…
Some can be captured in picture.
Others in story.

More than one?
Yes in deed.

And does it matter whom they are to you?
Well lets just see if you have been listening.
The judge.
The jury.
They have your answer.

But the mirror will never lie.

As Always My Loves,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

 

I AM POWERFUL… But I Can’t Do THAT.

I AM POWERFUL.
I AM THE CREATOR OF MY WORLD.
I AM MY OWN BOSS.
I AM ALIGNED.
 
BUT….
I can’t do that.
 
Yeah THAT thing that you suggested.
THAT thing that scares me a little, that shakes my soul.
THAT thing that is calling me.
THAT thing that is appealing, that pulls me, but cost money.
THAT thing where I step out of this comfort.
THIS comfort of all that I AM.
THIS comfort that holds me right here, in the NOW.
THIS eternal NOW.
This eternal NOW that I desepratly crave to change,
because it does not feed me.
It does not satsify my soul.
It is NOT me.
And yet, I AM.
 
I AM…
 
I cannot say it.
I will not admit it.
I will avoid it at all cost.
Instead let’s discuss my limitations.
Hear my plea for these beautiful, justifiable limitations.
You see them.
You see my struggle.
You know I am not making these up.
 
Yes these are what rule me.
These are my obstacles.
These are my burdens, my wounds and my chains.
Yes, that is the comfort that I cannot let go of.
That is the comfort that I will argue for.
That is what I CHOOSE for my NOW.
 
BUT…
I can’t do that.
 
I can’t do this.
I can’t.
 
Do you understand?
Do you see my struggle.
Do you feel my soul, my heart.
 
I want so badly to be aligned.
I crave to have the life that I know is for me.
I want to feel my power.
My worthiness.
I want to love myself.
I want to be SEEN.
 
THIS expression of me that I AM right now,
THIS is not me.
And yet, it is.
 
Because I allow it.
Beacause I am use to it.
It is familiar.
It is safe,
even in its misery,
it is still all I know.
And therefore I believe that it is so.
When you tell me that I can be so much more than THIS.
When you look through to my CORE,
and you witness my light and smile,
I want to run and at the same time I want to strip myself further down,
to be fully revealed.
To embrace ALL THAT I AM.
 
And this finite version of me that I am familiar with and allow all to see,
this version it needs to be embraced and expanded.
I do not long to run from this version,
to hide it, or destroy it,
but to encorporate it into all THAT I AM.
 
It’s funny is it not?
But it is already so.
I AM already every piece of what I desire to be.
There is no encorporation to achieve.
But instead all that is required,
all that ever is required,
is to ALLOW.
 
And to KNOW….
THAT I AM POWERFUL.
 
But in order to fully become what I already AM….
I must let go all the practicle defiance of all THAT I AM.
 
And that means I must STOP making excuses.
I must own WHO I AM.
I must FEEL my worthiness without a need to prove anything.
I must step forward and push these false boundaries of time, money and space.
Of health, support and focus.
 
Yes.
I must command my universe to open itself to my expansion.
I must step forward into trusting all THAT I AM.
And NOW…
NOW I KNOW.
 
I must make what is familiar unfamiliar,
and what is unfamiliar familiar.
 
THIS…
THIS is my path.
 
I AM POWERFUL.
NO MORE EXCUSES- JUST ACCEPTANCE.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time for you to say yes to who you really are beautiful. It s time for you to commit to who you are,
to your soul and say YES.
Let’s work together 1:1 to bring you into the next decade of your life, the next year of your life fully embodied and activated.
Message me for deets on 1:1 coaching now.

NOT REALLY 100% INVESTED ARE YOU? AT LEAST NOT THIS YEAR – Maybe Next???

NOT REALLY 100% INVESTED ARE YOU? AT LEAST NOT THIS YEAR – Maybe Next???

I ask a question of people on my applications to work with me, it goes like this:

Are you willing to invest in your coaching process fully if we decide to work together?

And the options are:

*Yes! Absolutely. I fully understand the power of investing into myself and committing to the process.

* I am unsure as to what I want or my commitment level.
* No, I am just exploring options at this time.

The majority of the people who fill out my application, no matter what their truth may be click on option one.
They proclaim that they understand the power of investing in themselves FULLY and what commitment is.

Funny thing happens though once they are faced with their truth. Or their financial situation. Or their lack of worth. Or their FEAR. This is a big effing one.
They retreat.
They make excuses.
They do everything they can to hide from the f-cking fact that they don’t want it bad enough for themselves.

Now you most likely are thinking,
“That’s not me, Kendal, I want it. I want it more than anything. I am 100% invested in whatever I need to do or make happen to have the life that I desire and know I was born to live. ”

Are you sure?

Because I am willing to wager that you are not as invested or committed to self as you believe that you are.
I am saying this because I see you.
I see you making the statements.
And proclaiming that you want this, and this and this too.
And I see you getting side tracked.
I see life getting in your way.
I see your beautiful,
logical reasons that you are offering up as to why you have not done this or that.
Yeah I see you.
I see how you are short changing yourself.

And here is the real deal beautiful,
YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN WHAT YOU ARE ALLOWING FOR YOURSELF.

But you will NEVER have it if you do not stop effing around and avoiding the opportunities to have it because you are scared of having it.

You are scared aren’t you?

Its manifesting itself as concern.
Its coming up as worry, and fatigue, and chaos.
And you continue to pretend that everything is okay.
You run along and just keep acting like life is all groovy,
that you got your shiz in order and that you don’t really need the help. But then you say I need help. I don’t understand. I cannot get movement here, this is sucking over here.

You proclaim, “I AM READY FOR A CHANGE.”

And so you call in the opportunity.
And then you cry about the commitment.
You turn your nose up at the investment.
You make an excuse.

You know what matters more to you then your desire,
than your happiness,
than whatever it is that you are claiming you want?

The bottom dollar means more.
The what’s this going to cost me.
You walk into the land of change with the objection of price, and you are under some damn idea that it should be gifted to you and Oh Yeah It should not mean that you have to apply yourself to making the change.

Let’s not forget that.

You want me to do what?
Spend how much time on my inner work?
Commit to what with my partner/spouse?
You want me to actually take action?

Nah, I don’t want it that bad this year.
Maybe next.
When I have made my million dollars then I will revisit this.
When I am stable emotionally, financially, physically then I will explore this.

I don’t have (fill in the blank) right now to do this.

Honey, if this is you I am writing about realize that with that sort of mindset and lack of commitment the thing you are wanting to have happen WILL NEVER HAPPEN.

Do you get how miracles happen?
They happen when we expect them too.
When we open ourselves through faith and putting ourselves up to the test. You have to not just step but LEAP if you want a miracle.

Making excuses will never get you this or the life that you want.
Matter a fact, if you want to know how much something of this potency is going to cost you here is the actual answer that you need to digest and sit with:

If you don’t do it – It will cost you YOUR LIFE. Your EVERYTHING.

Because you know what you have been doing,
You know where it has gotten you,
You feel what it feel’s like to be living this way,
and you are hungry.
So if you keep doing what you have always done,
YOU WILL STARVE!

So may people are under the assumption that if you just sit in a certain position,
think great thoughts and breathe a certain way that you never have to actually get off your ass and do something to manifest your dreams and goals.

So many other people, believe that if they just keep doing what they have been doing and work harder, scrimp more and freak out more that they will be successful in time and have the life that they want.

MOFO – NEWSFLASH!

Neither is accurate.
Neither will lead to your greatest, happiest life.

You are out of alignment in both cases,
and you are not taking the action that your SOUL wants you too.

So WTF do you do beautiful?

This is up to YOU!

My suggestion is get REAL.
Get COMMITTED.
Make the MOFO INVESTMENT.
Stop making excuses and continuing to do the same things expecting different results,
this is crazy.

But what do I know?

I don’t know you, and perhaps you don’t know you.
That is most likely the root of your issue beautiful.

And As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching For Grwon A*s Believers

It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.

I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.

But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.

Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.

Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.

What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?

You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

Life Evidence Says This.

Life.
Life is one of the funniest, scariest, most exciting adventures you will ever get to travel through.

Its also one of the most complex, dramatic movie sets that you will ever venture onto.

As well as one of the most educational schools that you can ever attend.

Life.
You gotta have it!
You cannot escape it.
You cannot avoid it.
We love life.
We hate life.
We are bored with life.
And we lose our lives each day.

And yet we keep breathing. 
We keep dancing with all the things that steal life from us.

You know what I mean.
You know what you do to avoid life.

Yes the alcohol.
The drugs.
The pharmaceuticals. 
The addictions to sex, to gambling, to work, to anything that can occupy the mind so that life can be stolen.

And then you find yourself not able to look in the mirror, 
you find yourself still not numb enough to your suffering. 
And you question, 
you question all that you do, 
and what the point of this thing called life really is.

You look around, 
and sure you have the house, the car, maybe even the family and the body. 
You may have retirement taken care of and be debt free.
But something is missing.
Something is lacking.
There is this void, 
deep inside of your being.

The thought of exploring what is the cause of this feeling terrifies you.

I get it.
I do.
I too have spent countless hours avoiding this void.
Avoiding my emotions, 
my fears.

Sitting in what felt like the loneliest of spaces, 
while my family and friends scurried around me.

I was far from alone.
And yet there I was lonely.
Sad.
Depressed.
Fearful of my future.
And lost within myself.

In life we sometimes find ourselves in these spaces, 
where life just does not seem to be offering us what we want.

Instead we consistently get experiences that we do not desire. 
And we ask, 
we ask the time old question of “Why?”

The answer is one that we have a tough time wrapping our head around. 
It is a concept that we may logically get, 
we may be able to scientifically support, 
historically support, 
and may have even experienced from time to time.
But even with all of that, 
we miss the reality of it.

The reality that we are focused on our lack of happiness.
We are focused on the scarcity of love, of connection and authenticity in our lives. 
We are focused on all that we do not have and how poorly we feel.

And with this more evidence through our life experiences and the people that come into our story lines show up.

It is inevitable really.

And we just keep doing more of it. 
All the while insisting that we are not. 
Blind to our own illness, 
our own addiction to suffering and our pain body, 
we remain trapped in the vicious cycle of small splashes of joy followed up with long periods of suffering.

And we tell ourselves that we had that coming.
That we should have known better, 
that if its too good to be true than it most likely is.
We tell ourselves that we have bad luck, 
that people suck.
That love is not real.
We tell ourselves that no one can be happy all the time, 
and that we are not good enough. 
That we are too much to handle.

And the cycle continues.

We say all of these things to ourselves constantly even when we are trying to be positive.

How is this the case you may ask?
Why would someone speak such illness into their lives if they knew that they could manifest their dreams with the same voice that they create their nightmares?

Look at your words luv.
Look at how you speak to yourself.
Look at what you say.

” I can’t afford that.”
“That cost too much.”
” I am sick and tired.”
“This always happens to me.”
“Someday I will have that, maybe.”
“Money is coming to me.”
“My prince charming is somewhere out there.”
“Someday”
“In May I will do…..”
“I am working at having…”
” I am hoping to get this done by….”

These and so many more statements are commonplace internal conversation. And we even speak them to our friends and family, even strangers.

The words I hope.
I am praying for.
My goals are.

Positive?
Yes?
Maybe?
No?

They all focus on the not having.
They bring the attention to our future not having and we emotionalize them from our current state of not having and attach to the void.

And here is more nightmare painting.
All scarcity focused.
Fear based.
Feel what comes inside of you when you speak of the life that you want.
Does it feel good?
Do you get excited?
Turned on?
Or is there still a current of fear, doubt, bullshit calling on yourself that resides under the excitement.

That feeling of hope is tainted with doubt is it not?
Yes, 
yes it is.

And this my sweet is the very reason that you are challenged in your having.

This is why the evidence of not having keeps presenting itself to you.

This is why you manifest and then stop.
the sabotage is an inside game, 
caused by your emotionalized thoughts.

But there is a solution.
There is a way to take charge of your thoughts, 
of your feelings. 
And maintain the flow of blessings into your life. 
It’s call consciousness.
Awareness.
Presence.
It’s called getting aligned to soul
and shutting up all that monkey brain chatter of your ego, 
and instead turning your focus to your desire. 
And to what truly makes you feel good at your core.

The answer is in finding stillness.
Stillness within yourself, 
just for 15 minutes a day.

Here in the space of nothing, 
where you learn how to remain present, 
how to listen to your soul messages, 
how to step forward into your authentic self, 
is the land of the living.

And remember I started this whole little speech on life.
So if you are wanting to start living again, 
or maybe for the first time ever, 
then it is time for you to learn about the power of your own inner world of silence. 
The world where miracles happen, 
where magic occurs daily.
Where revelations are abound, 
and your truth is present.
Here in this land, if you dare journey into it is the path, 
the path that you have been looking for my luv.

Your path to home.
To self discovery, 
self-love and acceptance.
Your path to not just imagining your dreams but living them.

As always, 
Stop Existing & Start Living

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Want to create a F-ck YES! Life in 2019?
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No problem mon’
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The only question any morning is…

One of those mornings where it’s to freaking’ cold to get out of bed.

Where I just find myself not wanting to even venture to the bathroom to pee.

Brrrrrrr….

Talked Levi my 12 year old son into going downstairs and making mom coffee.
Such a sweet boy.
He made it, brought it up to bed side and kissed my forehead as he asked if he could snuggle after school with me some and then left to make it to class on time.

Yes it is one of those mornings.

It is one of those mornings, where I feel hormonal, tired and non-productive. My lower back is aching and my ovaries are screaming at me.

I can feel my energy drained even though I have not even started my day yet.

I can feel my temperament a little off as well.
I am sensitive.

Yes it is one of those mornings.

It is one of those mornings, where I lay here focusing in on my gratitude’s in life, on the blessings and the joys. I snuggle under my covers and think of all the beauty God has given me. The opportunity and the love.

I am grateful.
Yes it one of those mornings.

It is one of those mornings where my Our Family Wizard buzzes and I see that my baby daddy has messaged me bright and early, thinking our son is still ill like yesterday, I open the message to see what’s up and discover that I have a boundary being pushed on. That his desire is to control my world and dictate my day to me despite what I have already shared. My ego flares and my heart aches. Fear rises up inside of me as I feel suddenly overwhelmed and lost in life.

Yes it is one of those mornings.

Brrrrr….

It is a day of turning inward.
It is a day of standing up.
It is a day of honoring my body.
It is a day to remain present.

Like every day.
It is a day in life.

And the truth behind today,
is nothing greater than the truth of yesterday or a day last week or last year.

It is just a day.

Perhaps you have noticed that in life we are always offered many options as to how our day will unfold.
Thus how our week,
our month,
our year
and our lives,
will unfold.

It comes down to the thoughts we choose to attach too.
It comes down to the games we decide to enter into with our ego’s.
It comes down to what we choose to focus on.

This is what makes all the difference.

I am often asked, ” But how do I stop thinking about this or that? It’s so bad, so stressful. It worries me. I am fearful of it.I cannot just not think about it.”

No you may not be able to stop the thoughts from coming through.
You may still feel the concern, the worry, the fear.
But here is the truth,
YOU and ONLY YOU make the choice to focus on it or not.
You are the one who chooses to attach to that thought, to that emotion and allow it to guide and even control your actions, your future thoughts, your future feelings and your life.

If you want to live a Freedom Based Life,
If you want to wake up every morning and feel in charge and in harmony with life,
In flow with your life and purpose.
And most importantly in love with who you are and where you are.

Then you must let go of the need to attach to these unsupportive thoughts.

You must let go of the idea that you are a victim to the thoughts.

Or a victim to anything.
You must let go of the idea that someone else or something outside of yourself has any control of how you choose to show in life,
to feel,
to think.

If you want a F-ck Yes Life!

And baby you deserve this.
Then you HAVE to LET GO!
You have to KNOW that the only thing you can ever do,
is stay present and do everything within your power to focus on what makes you feel good.

This is your ONLY work.

So yes….

It is one of those mornings.
It is a morning of snuggles,
a morning of sweet gestures,
a morning of love and kindness,

It is a morning of hormones,
of back aches and fatigue,
a morning of frustration,
of ego trying grab hold,

It is a morning of gratitude.
It is a morning of power.
It is a morning of self-love and acceptance.

It is a morning where once again the opportunity to Claim the life we want is at our bedside.

The only thing to decide this morning is,
Am I F-ck YES or a F-ck NO.

Will You Embrace Your Power and Claim Your Freedom Based Life?

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

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Low Vibe Peeps – Goodbye.

Low Vibing Peeps.
You know who you are.
But what you may not know is that you are in charge of your VIBE.

I hate when I am low vibing,
And I must say I can be AMAZING at it
Cause when I low vibe
I go all the effing way to the bottom
Of my well.
I drown myself in that shit
Until I cannot breathe.
I bath in the muck
Until i feel destroyed
And have blown up my own world.

I really hate myself when I go there.
Yet life has taught me that we all go there,
It is part of our cycle.
No one can remain HIGH VIBE ALWAYS.
Because shit happens.
And shit piled on shit can most certainly send our vibe crashing.
Its moments of total overwhelm that can draw us down the low vibe rabbit hole. Its when fear sets in and convinces us that life is against us.
Its moments when we question our faith.
Question our hearts.
Question who we are
And discover we are lost.

This LOST feeling causes us to low vibe.
And once we set up camp…

OMFG!
Now we are f-cked.
And we have done it to ourselves.
In these challenging times of life we walk hand in hand with our self for filling prophecies.
We discover what our core beliefs
And expectations are.

Because what manifests in our world?
Exactly what we truly believe and expect.

And as our prophecies manifest before our very eyes we find ourselves embracing with a nod of certainty the evidence that we know at our core.

The evidence that
I am not good enough
Not lovable
Not worthy
Not pretty enough
Not smart enough
Not…
Not…
Not…

And our head lowers
And our heart sinks

Our frustration grows as we witness another negative event manifest in our lives.
We feel sorrow and pain.
We suffer and we cry.
We grow angry and point fingers.

All in a pursuit to understand
But still hiding from the REALITY that all our pain is ONLY caused because of our LOW VIBE.

VIBRATION.
It is the cause of all that we experience.

I hate it when I am low vibing.
But in the same I am grateful for it because it shows me where my work still resides.
It shows me my ego.
And it blesses me with the opportunity to LIFT MYSELF UP.

Because at the end of the day
No one is going to come to the bottom of my well and pick me up. Make me do anything. Or think successful thoughts. Or feel good.

No one can get me to love myself.
No one can help me know myself.
Or have the intimacy i need with self or God.

No.
No f-cking soul on this planet can save my ass but me.

So here is my question to you.
You knew at some point I was going to loop back to YOU.

Why are you expecting others to lift you up?
Why are you still acting in fear of loosing anything?
Why are you allowing yourself to low vibe?

You are effing looking to be correct.
You are wanting to prove your point.
You are wanting to wallow in your ego’s shit so you can play the victim yet again.

Thats why.
Well NEWS FLASH!!!

You can have all of that.
But without me.
Without any high vibe peeps.
Without the high vibe things you crave and claim you want.

Don’t f-cking lie to me or yourself anymore.
Just STOP.

STOP with the effing lip service.
Your vibe says it all.

You can’t have both.
You cannot low vibe and live a F-ck YES! Life.

So choose.
Just choose.
It truly is that simple.
Its just an effing decision.
But you have to want it more than what you have experienced thus far in life, more than what makes you feel comfortable.

We all low vibe here and there.
It is normal.

Setting up camp there and claiming you did not that, that my dears is denial of your truth.

It’s time to get REAL.
It’s time to decide.

I don’t f-cking care what way you go.
I KNOW MY PATH.
I KNOW MY DESIRES.
MY EXPECTATIONS.

I will NEVER low vibe for long periods.
But if thats what you truly want
Than God bless.

I wish you well.
I love you.
But I will not join you.

Claim your life beautiful one.
Claim your beauty.
Your light.
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

Touched By Heaven in the Chilliest of Hours

2017-12-02 07.05.49

The weather has certainly changed here in North Texas. On my 6:45-am walks the bitter cold seem’s to go through all my layers of clothes. The chill of the morning breeze feels fresh though and after breaking into the day with a prayer of gratitude and my morning 6-AM Facebook Live session of Conscious Coffee for about 20 to 30 minutes every day I am pumped and ready to get my heart rate up as I listen to an hour of power motivational education and then end with one of my favorite up beat songs as I find myself skipping home.

But then again, how can one NOT be pumped about life and where they are headed when they have a great expectation for the blessings that are but right before them?

The other morning half way through my walk during my 15 minutes of power yoga on the hillside I found myself viewing the beauty of nature. The sunrise (see picture in this note here) was simply amazing. I could in this moment find myself singing the lyrics to the song, Testify by NeedtoBreathe….

There’s no denying beauty makes a sound
We can’t escape it
There’s no way to doubt
Mist on the mountain rising all around
Give me your heart give me your song
Sing it with all your might
Come to the fountain and
You can be satisfied
There is a peace, there is a love
You can get lost inside
Come to the fountain and
Let me hear you testify

I was thinking as I kneeled into pigeon pose staring at the sunrise that I was truly in gratitude for all the tests of my last year. All the the sorrow, pain, and frustration was actually the foundation for a great testimony. I could hear Les Brown saying, “With no test there is no testimony.”

My heart soared with not just gratitude at the comfort that came down on me in this moment but I found myself feeling like a small child who was anxiously awaiting Christmas morning but not truly understanding when Christmas was coming. Just a knowing that it was coming. This knowing filled me to my soul and I could not help but smile.

Looking back over the last year to 18 months I can almost see the path from heavens eyes and how things have been at play long before I caught on. I can now see how things that in the moment felt miserable were actually setting the stage and clearing out what was needed to free me into what my true desires are and always have been.

I have had moments of doubt creep in on my being and set me back here and there, but they last for just a flicker in time. The universe always has a way of speaking its commitment to me, its love for me and its backing of my desires. I have said many a time that I am a deeply spiritual person who believes that God is always present and communicating. It is us who choose not to listen.Not because we don’t want to hear the messages but because we are not yet ready to handle the blessings. We must grow our vessel you could say to the capacity to actually hold the blessings so that we don’t loose what is given.

Here is where what we humans perceive as suffering comes in.

Suffering is in our lives to bring us awareness that we are not in alignment to our desires. Suffering teaches us the most valuable lesson. The lesson of letting go of our ego’s need to try and control, even the hands of God, and instead open to surrender through love, gratitude, forgiveness and AWARENESS.

If we want something we must first become aware of how we are blocking our blessings.

Often they sit right in front of us and it is like we have a heavy cloak over our heads so that we do not see them as we stubble and turn away, fearing that God is not there. Fearing that we are not worthy. Fearing that this presence of a creator that has been so highly spoken of and taught about is nothing more than a fairy tale.

In our fear we place dead lines and we try and force the GPS system of the Divine to take the course that we believe is best for us instead of moving forward in courageous certainty and love.

However, every now and then someone stops FEARING the “What If’s” and the “Yeah But’s…” and just Let’s Go and Follows.

raianbowclouds

It is this sort of moment, you find yourself on a crisp morning in pigeon pose on a damp grassy knoll, staring up at the sunrise and see a rainbow beaming from behind the clouds. The cool breeze of the winter morning no longer chilling but instead invigorating and joy beaming from the depth of your soul.

In moments like this you STOP your own self-inflicted crucification of pain and not receiving and open your arms to all that is to come…

Open your arms to the KNOWING!

Will You Open Up To Your Blessings for Now and 2018?

Come Follow Me Every Morning for Motivational, Spiritual Raw Thoughts, Sharing and Love.

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