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COVETING IS A SLIPPERY SLOP- ONE SO MANY ARE BLIND TOO. ARE YOU?

COVETING IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE – ONE SO MANY ARE BLIND TOO.
When does it become acceptable for an individual whom may be a supposed friend, association or other to try to weasel thier way into a couples relationship to cause disconnection, disruption, or disharmony? All the while thier intent being to create an opportunity to be with one of the individuals.
This disrespect of the couple hood and the individuals can take the form of:
–> Sexual offers
–>Inappropriate suggestions, offers or touch
–>Under the guise of a shoulder to cry on –>Support that was not asked for
–>Disparaging comments about one of the individuals
–>Statements of desire or “love”
–> Consistency and persistence in advances
All with the intent to undermine the relationship.
Some of this overt.
Some covert.
Making them the most dangerous.
Acting as a wolf in sheeps clothing in hopes to lure the partner that holds ones attention slowly and discreetly over the course of time into one’s arms.
Believing that the coveted relationship can provide the same dynamics and connection even when one of the partners is no longer in play.
COVETING IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE.
The reality is that we humans covet many things.
Relationship is highly sought after.
It is our human desire and need to be connected to another. The bonding that we experience in intimate relationship is elevating and fulfilling unlike anything else. So when we see another experiencing the depth, connection and love that we may not be experiencing ourselves it leaves us hungry and aware of what is lacking in our own lives.
This is the birth place of envy and jealousy.
It is also how such disruptive and unsought for attention and advances come from.
You may not be able to control your feelings or desires for someone, however you most certainly can and IF YOU ACTUALLY LOVE or even mildly give a shit for this person, then can respect them and control your feelings and desires.
Not being able to administer the needed control around taking action or expressing the feelings reveals an even deeper issue at hand.
That being one of little self-respect or honor to soul.
Instead of elevating self,
You find yourself trying to destroy the beauty in anothers life. When you could be asking yourself how you too could develop and call a relationship that others are envious of into your own life picture.
Becoming consciously aware of those seemingly “little” or “harmless” statements and actions that one may be guilty of serves not only in the best interest of the coveted couplehood but also for the individual whom is coveting, as the awareness and taking responsibility of said actions develops ones character and thus elevates thier vibration increasing thier potential to call in the ideal relationship for thier soul experience.
So I ask you today dear reader,
First are these tactics ever okay? And secondly,
does anothers relationship, connection, or love bring you fear, jealousy or envy? Where might you consciously or subconsciously be guilty of these detrimental self-centered actions and desires and not be realizing your truth?
Level Up Your Love Life Today.
By elevating who you are and knowing your truth.
Loving You From Here.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “
Want to manifest a relationship that makes other envious? Call in your soulmate and live elevated in love? Reach out for information on my LIMITED 1:1 and group coaching opportunities for 2021 now.
Make 2021 your Soulmate Year!
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IT COULD HAVE BEEN EASIER.

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASIER.
“It would have been easier if he did not behave like a psycho.
Would have been easier if he did not destroy things.
Would have been easier if he was not wasn’t actively causing discontent with family.
Would have been easier if he was not stalking and making sure he lived down the street.
Would have been easier if he had not slandered and bad mouthed, made up lies to destroy relationships and cause issues in other areas of life and work.
Would have been easier if he had not been a self-centered asshole who demonstrated that he only cares about himself at ALL cost.
Yeah it certainly could have been easier.
Could have been easier if he respected initial communications and requests for space.
Could have been easier if he had not spread lies to family.
Could have been easier if you didn’t know that the only reason he did not destroy the family home and belongings was because of outside intervention.
Could have been easier if he was not a MF narcissist.
Could have been easier if he was not sneaking around in the dark like a rat causing trouble and destroying other people property.
Could have been easier if he had not gone to those in traumatic situations and expect his issues to outweigh theirs and make a scene.
Could have been easier yes…
But not for the reasons that he thinks and wants everyone to believe.
Could have been easier if he took some responsibility for his actions.
And not spin it to look like it’s others who are making it not easy on him.
Could have been easier if he did’nt demonstrate his emotional imbalance and once again self-centeredness by crying wolf and telling how he just wants to commit suicide.
Yeah could have been easier.
Could have been easier if he did not continue to stalk and drive by, message and demand.
Could have been easier if he had just been honest throughout the relationship with himself and others.
Could have been easier if he had not expected his mind and heart to be read and refused authentic communication.
Could have been easier if he had listened in the communication being shared for years.
Could have been easier if he had accepted that you can not force your will on others and get their core to change or their heart.
Could have been easier if he respected boundaries and did not get so caught up in his ego to be blind.
The fact is it’s not easier by his own doing.
And the fact that he knows that he is a shell without the connection,
that he is lost in who he is.
Is revealing his true issue.”
I share this above from my heart and soul to all those out there who have had relationships that were broken and shattered.
That ended unexpectedly, and had their ex partner exhibit such control, fear, “craziness” toward them.
Or perhaps the reverse might be true.
Perhaps you were that ex-partner/lover/mate who went crazy at the loss of the one that you were in relationship with.
Perhaps you lost yourself in your pain,
in your lack of sight of how out of alignment the relationship truly was and how it was no longer serving either of you.
I offer my above tale to wake you up today.
To wake you up to the reality that in our loss we often cannot see our truth,
we cannot recognize what love is,
We often believe that we must make our pain known by forcing the other to feel pain as well.
And we do it all in the name of LOVE.
There are two realities in this tale that I share that I hope that you can gain for current and future happiness in relationship.
1. None of the above is based in love. Not love of the other nor of the self. The concept that we need to make another feel pain, know what they have done, that we need to be understood, heard or seen are not based in love but in need and ego. The hunger to do ill things to the one that we proclaimed to love so deeply until we part is not of soul and heart, it has nothing to do with love and not even with our pain of the loss, but instead it has everything to do with our desire and need to control a situation and others because we feel out of control in our lives and in our emotions. We are lost in self. We are not strong at our core or in whom we are and therefore we act out toward others attempting to scare and manipulate them to surrender to what we want of them.
Again, this has nothing to do with love of self or other and certainly does not respect the relationship, the memories, the lessons or either soul.
But instead shows the discontentment and lack of alignment as well as emotional maturity of the one acting out.
There is no proactivity in such actions, only reactivity and a believing that one is a victim to life and others.
2. It could have been easier is what we believe in situations like this.
We say this to life, to people and wonder why we have to be in such pain and suffering.
Why life is so rough and why we just seem to be destined to struggle.
The reality is that it is only difficult and painful because we make it such.
It is our resistance to our core,
to living by our heart and leaning into love and soul that creates the struggle.
The truth of this is evident in ALL subject areas of life, not just relationship and love.
We are in the power position.
We are not victims to circumstance or to others even.
We get to choose at any given moment how we perceive what is happening, what our role is in the event and how we are going to handle it best.
We get to decide moment by moment if we are going to create beauty or pain.
We get to choose if we are going to act from a place of certainty, love and truth or from fear, ego and a need to control and dominate a situation or person, an outcome.
OUR CHOICE DEFINES OUR REALITY.
These are the lessons of relationship break up and how we choose to move through it.
There are many more lessons,
Some are personal to the individual, some to the couple and others are spiritual awakenings that we all must evolve through.
How do you handle break up?
What is your goal in communication with your partner of current or of past?
Is it to be understood?
To feel as though they care or love you?
To know that your pain is felt or that they feel the same?
How do these questions serve you truly?
How are they defining who you are and helping you to become your best person?
And most importantly do these questions with their desired answers come from love and an unconditional elevated space or do they reside and come from your fear and need, your desire to control a situation and an outcome?
One will bring you happiness and growth,
the other suffering and resistance to truth,
YOUR TRUTH.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Make 2021 a year of love and beauty.
Heal your relationship,
heal your heart and move mountains so you can have that soulmate relationship of your dreams.
Reach out to me for deet’s on how to do this today.
 
PhotoCredit to DandelionImages
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HOLDING SPACE FOR SELF AND DESIRES IS F-CKING HARD SH*T!

HOLDING SPACE FOR SELF AND DESIRES IS F-CKING HARD SH*T!
Man is it ever.
And most people are not strong enough to do just that.
They want to sorta throw up all their desires and fears on anyone who will listen.
Especially their fears.
And then later ,
IF they are doing internal work they want to share, share, share their desires.
All because they are learning to “speak their truth.”
And you know what?
That is true.
Anyone of us who have ventured down this path of self-awareness and love knows how hard it is to learn harmony in this boat of new found territory where we are given permission to ASK FOR WHAT WE WANT.
And it seems that we should be able to just ask,
and then any logical soul knows that whomever we are asking of will then answer.
And in a perfect world they will answer the way that WE WANT THEM TOO….
Every time of course.
LOL.
Okay maybe not every time but most of the time, right?
Because if we are feeling this,
then certainly they are as well.
And if we are both feeling this,
then it just makes sense that it can easily happen.
However, often this is not the case.
Often even if everyone feels it, thinks it and may want it,
frequently the universe has set a different course for the time being and we have to learn the lesson of ACCEPTANCE.
Turning our expectations that we claim we do not have,
but secretly always do,
into acceptance of what is and that we are always being given EXACTLY what we need in life at any given moment.
And you know what?
That right there is some hard a*s sh*t!
But it is worth it.
When we are accessing new areas of self,
becoming more embodied,
awake as some would say.
and present in life and who we are,
At first it is a beautiful land of mystery.
There Is adventure and sizzling, scary yet fun highs and lows that we easily become almost addicted to.
We learn to ride our waves of pain and pleasure,
because we start to understand this is so opening to our truth.
And it feels phenomenal to surf through these new waters and learn SELF.
The adventure of birthing into ourselves is a powerful, yummy experience.
Although not always fun.
It carries with it pain and agony.
We learn that inorder to grow and expand that we have to let go of somethings that no longer serve us,
and sometimes that can even mean relationships that we cherish.
Or jobs that pay our bills.
Because even though we enjoy them,
they are not feeding our souls journey any longer and holding on only means that we will sink our own ship.
This is some hard a*s sh*t to move through!
But it is worth it.
Then we have the internal world of our emotions.
OMFG! Don’t even let me get started here.
This subject of our human experience is among the hardest of the hard sh*t.
And that is because we are never taught how to hold space.
Not truly for someone else,
and most certainly not for self.
We get derailed by our ego’s at every corner of our path.
At first we chitter chat in our heads about fairness,
lostness, how we wish for this or that,
then when the pity party of the inverted ego starts to wear down we turn to,
look at what I am doing and how far I have come.
Pat myself on the back,
cause no one else is here to do it.
Or let me spout off about my good work,
my good deeds,
etc. etc.
The work of the extraverted ego here.
And we bounce around with our pride and our happiness.
But when no one notices right back to the inverted ego we go.
Holding those unannounced expectations on others still.
Catching ourselves.
Witnessing our ego’s is some hard AF sh*t.
And you know what is a hundred times more challenging?
Giving yourself GRACE.
COMPASSION for self to be human.
Say what?
Now I know that I have lost my marbles somewhere here in my kitchen on this rainy day.
Compassion for self?
Seriously.
May sound nice,
but there is no way that we can do that, right.
I mean I don’t want to let myself off the hook.
I am an awakened soul.
I am growing and want to make sure that I don’t mess up.
Mmmmmhmmmmm….
just like every other self proclaimed awakened soul.
But here is a little news flash my dear awakening soul,
YOU ARE STILL HUMAN.
And being human means that you may ultimately know everything,
because God consciousness does reside inside of you and moves through you,
the consciousness that creates universes is in you.
But you only get to be perfect and 100% accurate when you are in full alignment with God.
That is when you are on point.
And in order to do this,
you have to learn how to hold space for self which simply means that you have to learn how to not get trapped in your stinking thinking, criticizing and pity.
You have to not let yourself overthink everything.
You have to learn to hold your emotions in love like you would a precious baby,
without a need to try to do anything but hold them,
love them,
and APPRECIATE them.
This is ACCEPTANCE.
And this my dear is what we all must practice surrendering to each and every day of our human lives.
Because when we practice this we are practicing compassion,
GRACE for self.
And if you are looking for grace from anything else,
including God,
then check your expectations.
God always gives you grace.
God always gives you unconditional love.
God always trusts you to do what feels best to you.
God never turns away from you.
Can you say that you do the same for yourself?
Bet not.
And guess how you get into alignment with God?
Yeppers,
by gosh by golly I think you may have guessed it correctly.
By offering the same to self.
And to others second.
And that is some hard AF Sh*t to do!
But it is worth it.
You are worth it.
God knows this.
It is time though for you to KNOW THIS.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Many years ago I learned how to witness these hard AF things in self, and I spent a few years highly challenged by them. But after practicing and practicing, what I learned and was able to achieve was priceless.
Today what used to take me months and even years to move through I can successfully move through in hours or minutes even.
Can you imagine how much more fulfilling and fun life could be if you did not have to fill your mind and heart with so much chaos and worry?
Let me teach you my secrets.
reach out to me about 1:1 and online events now.

 

 

 

 

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CAN WE JUST F-CKING STOP WITH BEAUTIFUL.

CAN WE JUST F-CKING STOP WITH BEAUTIFUL.

Seriously,

you say that word so often I do not think it is achieving the results that you think it is achieving.

 

On any day of the week,

I get the comment of “Beautiful” at least ten times from random people ( mostly men) who want to share it with me.

 

And the reality is this,

The statement of “Beautiful.”

Is a surface AF statement.

It will get you nowhere in a hurry with a woman who values herself,

who understands that her true beauty is not something you appreciate just from her skin that is barred or the clothes that she has on,

it has nothing to do with the smile on her face,

or if she is nice to you.

Beauty is something so much deeper.

It comes from a place of knowing oneself.

Of loving oneself,

even the shadow lands of our character.

Beauty comes from feeling good in our own skin,

and when someone over uses such a compliment,

it actually starts to rub raw,

and cause you to not take in the compliment.

 

Every human being NEEDS to have words of affirmation.

Every human being needs to learn how to breathe into compliments and own their worth,

but surface AF statement that are easy to say and show that you know NOTHING about the person,

are not anything to sport about saying.

 

Especially with a woman.

 

SO this musing is going out to all you gents who tell me and other amazing AF powerful women that you find us BEAUTIFUL.

 

That you would love to show us what you can do with your whatever you desire to touch and taste us with,

That you love how our hair looks,

our clothes fit us,

or the angle we opted to take a picture from.

 

Yeah those comments that you believe will land you in our panties and hearts,

HA! We think not.

 

For a true compliment is spoken from a place of presence,

it is stated about a person’s depth and light.

A compliment that makes you stand out in the crowd of all those fools who think that some cartoon dog blowing random AF kisses, or I love you’s is going to get somewhere other than an eye roll and quickening in our scroll,

if you truly desire to make an impression…

 

THEN SLOW THE F-CK DOWN….

and pay some attention.

 

You need to actually listen,

watch and read,

you need to make statements that show that you were into what that person was sharing,

you need to let yourself absorb who you are watching,

and not from a place where she gets me off to watch.

 

This also applies to anyone who is taking a woman to bed,

if you are so lucky to have her open herself to you,

then remember this….

 

You can leave a good impression,

a bad impression ,

or a F-cking Spectacular impression.

 

The choice is yours.

And it all comes down to how you slow the f-ck down and get present with her.

 

If you think you know a woman,

and how to f-ck her wide open,

awesome…. but I question your cockiness.

Because I know women,

and we bore easily and rarely want to hurt your delicate ego’s, so we let you believe that you know,

and then roll our eyes and share our frustrations with our friends about how clueless you are,

and how surface AF our sex is with you.

 

A woman who loves herself and knows her value,

will not keep around a man or partner for any amount of real time who cannot prove that they can go deep with her.

If our partner is not willing to slow the f-ck down and value us the way that we know we should be,

then “bye, bye… don’t let the door hit you on your way out of my life.”

 

A woman who keeps a surface level lover around,

is a woman who does not know herself yet and has not learned her value.

 

The facts are simple and they start with how we relate outside the bedroom.

 

Ladies if you feel all fluttery and excited about that want to be average joe who said beautiful on one of your pictures,

then I question how much love you have for self.

Because that man… that man is a little boy who has not learned how to be with a woman yet and cannot handle his own depth or the light that you have to offer.

 

And gents,

if you are one of these dudes that offer up easy to spell one word comments, but then turn around and ask a woman a question that you already have access to the answer of…

 

(by taking the time in our social media world… and I mean like maybe 2 minutes of time….you can discover how old someone is, where they are from or live, if they are single or coupled, open or not, kids, what they do and even their likes)

 

THEN JUST F-CKING STOP ALREADY.

 

Your words are wasted on those of us who value ourselves.

 

We do not need your statements of beautiful or what you desire to do to us or with us,

we laugh at you,

we shake our heads at your silliness and we keep scrolling.

You don’t have a chance,

so go find someone who may better suit you.

 

There is someone for everyone,

or so they say.

 

But I,

I am not the one who will fall prey to your mediocre compliments with no depth or care.

 

Just like all the other queens out there who get what I am sharing here in this musing today.

 

Level up your relating guys!

Level up who you are.

You want to attract a MF Queen….

Then you cannot just pretend to play King….

You gotta be one.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn how to attract your Queen?

Want to know what it means to be a King in life and relationships.

It’s a vibrational thing baby.

It’s about embracing your worthiness and loving yourself.

male or female,

This is where our power comes from.

 

Let me share with you the journey to THRIVING.

F-ck Yes!

Message me for deet’s.

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The Land Of Nobody…

Good Morning Beautiful!

How did you sleep?

Were your slumbers restful and pleasant or did they have you tossing in your bed?

 

Did you wake refreshed, vibrant and charged for this day or are you among the many of the walking dead,

those who cannot bear the idea of waking because it’s just another groundhog day?

 

Day in and day out,

the same events,

the same stories,

the same people.

 

Waking with a feeling of “why?”

And does any of it,

Especially me, even matter?

 

Looking about your life and questioning if anyone truly cares.

Or are they only there for what you have to offer,

at their convenience.

 

Yes, you know that feeling.

That feeling of,

“Nobody sees me. Nobody loves me. Nobody cares.”

 

This beautiful is the Land of Nobody.

 

And it is not a pretty place to reside.

It is not a place that you can manifest your dreams from,

it will never call into your life your ideal lover,

the money that you crave for,

the health or success.

It will never bear the fruit of happiness.

Because  you see beautiful,

the Land of Nobody,

is a fictitious land that you have created your misery from.

It is a land that you have bought into,

because it is what you feel comfortable in.

 

Oh yes,

I just said that beautiful.

 

The Land of Nobody is one that brings you comfort.

That is a hard pill to swallow I know.

But it is so true.

Just as true as it is that this land will not bring you what you claim you want for,

and most certainly will not bring you what your soul is calling you toward,

and you see THAT is exactly why you are feeling so lost in yourself,

so alone,

so unloved,

so fearful,

so unseen,

unheard,

uncared for or valued.

 

And it is from this place of “UN” that you keep calling in the evidence to support your comfort in suffering.

 

You feel all the “UN” because IT IS NOT TRUE.

 

Your soul KNOWS differently.

Your soul see’s who you really are and what your life has to offer,

but you are withholding yourself from all your glory by focusing in on the finding of the evidence,

the proving to yourself and anyone who will listen,

that you are in the Land of Nobody wants me.

 

And the sad truth beautiful is that as long as you sit here,

focused on the “UN” and the nobody with such passion,

you will NEVER be able to “fix” the problem of what you are manifesting.

 

You will never feel loved.

You will never feel valued.

You will never feel wanted.

 

From this space.

And you will certainly not attract anyone into your world that will “MAKE YOU” feel that way.

 

Because you have created and keep creating a great momentum around not having it show up for you,

that even when the universe/God sends things into your life,

to show you how abundant and loved you really are,

you reject them by looking the other way,

or pushing your will onto life in an attempt to control it and “make it” happen,

thus supporting your need to show that you can’t have it without a fight.

 

Your belief is that life is hard.

That you must suffer.

That you have to work hard to get things that you want.

Your belief is that life is out to get you in some fashion and does not have your back.

 

But that belief is just a thought that you keep active by focusing on finding evidence for it.

 

You “think” it is such and therefore it is.

But you have to change the thoughts in your head,

and the way you are feeling about your life.

You have the WAKE THE F-CK UP.

And start witnessing what could be by putting your focus on that and then not trying to force it into existence.

 

God/Universe does not like being controlled like that,

Does not like having its hands tied,

and if you keep tieing them then you will keep getting what you have been,

because what you want for gets offered day in and day out,

opportunities to have it knock at your door,

but you keep your door locked up tight not allowing the Universe/God to reveal to you your value, your worthiness.

 

So if you won’t let the energy that has created universes to show you a brilliant life worth living and enjoying,

and all your dreams manifesting,

then how the f-ck do you ever expect the people in your life to show it to you?

 

YOU BEAUTIFUL have to open up to it.

You are the only one who can access any of it.

Putting your needs and desires onto others and then getting mad that they won;t do what you want,

when you want,

how you want,

is a self-centered, spoiled, egotistical action.

And will only keep providing you with not having.

 

So if you are among the millions who woke up today,

focused on not having what you want in life,

feeling like you are unloved,

unappreciated,

“UN” somethinged….

 

Then this message is directed at you.

Because I fully understand that feeling of “UN”

that feeling of walking around the Land of Nobody,

and I can tell you that no solution or joy ever came from this place.

 

And we each may venture into this land every now and then,

but it is up to us,

and ONLY US,

venture right back out.

 

So take back your power beautiful,

stop handing it over to the ebbs of your life,

stop looking to not be supported,

and instead KNOW that you are with certainty.

Know that you are loved,

because you love yourself enough to wake the f-ck up and feel it for yourself,

you love yourself enough to stop disrespecting your life,

and instead to open up to it and receive its glory.

 

 

You are worthy beautiful.

You are loved.

You are appreciated and valued.

 

Venture In Certainty for what you want not what you fear.

 

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

Let’s do this!

You and me,

this summer.

Break free from your shiz once and for all and fall in love with the dynamic, powerhouse that YOU are.

No one is like you.

And you have a life worth sharing,

worth enjoying.

You have one life love.

One.

Let’s make it a F-ck Yes! One NOW.

Message me for deet’s on how to do this.

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“I love You. Just As You Are.”

 

Bob Marley once said:

“You may not be her first,

her last, or her only.

 

She loved before she may love again.

But if she loves you now, what else matters?

 

She’s not perfect—you aren’t either,

and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh,

cause you to think twice,

and admit to being human and making mistakes,

hold onto her and give her the most you can.

 

She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break—her heart.

 

So don’t hurt her,

don’t change her,

don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give.

 

Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”

 

And he was a wise man in his lyrics.

The Jamaican artist who grew up on the concept of One Love,

and to love without fear,

without reservation,

and condition,

spoke the truth in his words about loving a woman,

but his words ring true in general.

 

His words on love are words that we could all gain wisdom from when looking at relationships in general.

 

Can you imagine a world where we spoke our truth.

Where we told our feelings without expectation,

where we related because that is what humans do…

 

Can you imagine a world where love was not based on what you can do for me,

or I for you,

but on the actual feeling of love.

 

Can you imagine a world where love was not captivated and crucified at every upset in the day,

a world where loving each other was normal and not judged or shamed,

can you imagine a world where we each had respect for self,

compassion for self,

love for self,

and thus could freely offer the same to another.

 

Can you imagine a world where saying “I love you” did not bear with it the weight of marriage, commitment of a lifetime, legal documents or looks of concern.

 

Can you imagine being loved just for being you?

 

This is the love that Marley was speaking of.

This is the message that we all need to hear,

 

and this morning as I sit here and am blessed with the words,

 

“I love you.”

 

I feel called to share the importance that they actually hold.

 

I love you is a statement of acceptance.

A statement of respect and care,

 

I love you means that I do not want to control you,

that I appreciate you JUST AS YOU ARE.

 

I love you means that I am not expecting anything in return,

there are no conditions,

there are no rules or obligations,

 

I love you means that I SEE YOU.

 

JUST AS YOU ARE.

 

And when these words are uttered,

they should not hold the reins on our heart,

they should not be spoken in shame or in fear,

but instead be words that frees our soul.

 

I love you means that I love me too.

Because I could not feel this feeling,

pure and authentically,

if you were not mirroring the love that I feel for self.

 

That is what it is a message of.

When we feel deep love for another,

without control or possession of any sort,

without jealousy or fear of losing,

without expectation,

 

we are feeling true love.

 

And true love can only emerge when we feel the same for self.

Others that we feel this radiance for,

ignite the truth of our souls,

allow us to embrace our bigness,

our beauty, and truth.

 

When love is authentic and not based in need,

It is a sign of who we really are.

 

And at our cores,

WE ARE LOVE.

 

We taste it juiciness.

We bathe in its sweetness,

We dance freely in its light,

and we expand within its breath.

 

Without love life is empty.

And with false love,

control masked as such,

we hunger to hold on,

we fear its loss,

we hand over our power to whomever we deem our point of focus,

and lose who we are.

 

To love someone…

 

You may not be the first person to love them,

or the last,

not even the only one.

 

They have loved before,

they will love again,

But if they are loving you now,

What else matters?

 

They are not perfect – you aren’t either,

and the two of you may never have the perfect relationship together, no matter its label,

but if they make you smile and laugh,

cause you to think twice,

and admit to being human and making mistakes,

hold onto that love and give it the most you have.

 

They may not be thinking of you every moment of the day,

but that love will open you to your life,

that love will offer you something special,

something that you must respect, — your truth.

 

So don’t judge and shame your love,

don’t try and change it,

don’t analyze and

don’t expect more than what is shown.

 

Smile when you are happy,

let your feelings be known, even when mad,

let your words and actions be authentic.

 

Love with your whole being when you receive love,

Know that it is available at any moment,

it is your truth,

there is no such thing as perfect,

but there will always be love,

and it is all that matters.

 

How are you penetrating your life,

this world with your love?

 

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

 

It is time that you say YES to you.

 

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

Posted on

Say It With Me! Commitment Is Everything.

OMFG!

So there I was leg up on the lip of my shower,

shaving the back of my thigh,

hot water washing down my back,

irritating me because it was washing out my conditioner prematurely,

when it came to me.

 

I figured out why I have a resistance to love.

Not just to love,

but to allowing myself to fall deeply,

penetratively in love with my man,

with my life,

with ME.

 

I was flabbergasted at my realization. 🤦‍♀️

 

How could I be so silly to not have caught this before.

Perhaps I was just unwilling to see it.

Perhaps I was not ready to fully let go.

Perhaps a whole lot of shit to be frank about it,

and the reality is simple.

 

I,

Me,

have been holding myself back from the feelings and experiences that I have desired for the last two plus years almost.

 

Crazy as it sounds.

It is true.

And thanks to my shower today and now nicely shaved legs,

I was blessed with the ability to change it.

Because you see you cannot change something until you awaken to the fact that it needs changed in the first place.

Which is why life is the way that it is.

Sure we get ample opportunity to see what needs to happen,

we feel it at our cores often,

but we humans tend to disregard anything that is not smack dab in our faces presenting a challenge.

AKA a PROBLEM.

 

Which is why we create problems for ourselves.

We need them to expand.

To grow and to create the life that we are called to live.

 

Problems allow us to witness what needs attention,

what needs improvement,

change.

 

And often they rise up from our “feelings”

yes those nasty things that we are told to not pay much attention too because they will misguide us.

But the reality is that our feelings are there to guide us.

They are there to tell us when we are not in alignment to our souls path.

 

And that causes us pain.

Of some sort.

 

So what do we do?

We get into a sticky painful situation,

and we COMMIT to change our evil ways.

We commit to work harder.

Work smarter.

To not trust so easily.

To take better care of our bodies and our hearts.

We commit to trying harder.

And the list goes on.

 

And don’t get me wrong, commitments make our realities.

 

However, the trick is knowing what you committed to and if the commitment is in alignment with your soul’s desire.

 

You see, this commitment that I made about two and half years ago, was not ultimately in alignment with my heart or soul. It was a commitment made out of pain.

Intense pain, my heart was breaking and I was scared and angry at this for happening. I was not understanding why it was happening or how this could even be. And in my suffering I stated to the person who I blamed with great emotional attachment,

” I will NEVER love again.”

I went on to tell him that I would never trust a man again or surrender the way I had with him, that if this is what it got me then it was too big a price to pay and I was committing to not not allow myself to get hurt again at this level.

 

You may think that those were just words,

that I could just ignore and carry on.

That someone awesome could turn around and walk into my life and change my commitment.

 

And perhaps,

perhaps that might be so.

 

But it has not been so for me.

Instead my other commitments to myself that I wrote down prior to this one above, started to knock heads with this commitment and even though I had manifested a wonderful man into my world,

not just any man BTW,

but a man that I scripted out in my journal and who has 75% of my list of desires in a man,

yeah… not bad for a day’s worth of journaling work.

 

Yeah, not even he could break through this commitment to love.

And so, it has been that the last two years I have consistently kept myself “safe from love” not allowing myself to feel what I have wanted to feel fully and getting repeatedly upset with the world and my life and soul because of it but not catching the root of my issue.

 

MY COMMITMENT.

 

This morning as I thought about it,

and as life would have it all week long,

I have had plenty of opportunity to read through old journal entries as I clean up areas of my home.

 

My soul most certainly is on a mission to CONFIRM to me that I am really great at holding commitment to myself.

Especially commitments made with strong emotional attachment.

 

A few years back,

when I was struggling financially to get over the $100k a year mark in my practice, I committed to myself and wrote it faithfully for months on end in my journal that,

 

“I commit to make no less than $95,000 a year from this moment forward.”

 

That year I made $146k.

And I have not looked back since.

 

I also wrote,

” I commit to having my schedule booking out 4 months in advance.”

 

And it still remains so that my schedule is booking 4 to 6 month in advance.

 

” I commit to being recognized on TV.”

 

And shortly thereafter, was called by Lifetime TV to work on an episode of Married at First Sight.

 

My list of commitments is long.

My list of emotionally supported commitments is long.

Some emotions however, support my soul’s desires.

And some do not.

 

My shower realization is that although commitments are thought to be a good thing,

and they most certainly do mean the world.

That what we as individuals need to understand,

is the true power of our words.

 

Of our commitments to self.

And what we say in passion sticks with us and sometimes can get buried under our day to day lives and thoughts.

 

Sometimes these commitments we carry for a lifetime,

and they can be the root cause to us not thriving no matter how hard we work,

to not feeling love, no matter how hard we love,

to not feeling safe,

no matter how hard we try and make ourselves trust.

 

Commitments make our realities.

Let’s start being conscious of them,

and changing the ones that no longer serve.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Watch: Say It With Me!Commit to NOT Lick Your Phone

 

Take advantage right now of a lifetime opportunity to work with me in my intensive 4 week mastermind where you get to work 1:1 with me to learn the keys that I woke up to back in 2009 and changed my whole life outcome with.  Let me guide you through the turbulence of the storms and show you the power of letting go of fear so that you can create the life of dreams, you know that you desire and deserve it. Let’s make it happen. Message me for deet’s

Posted on

The State Of You and Your Business.

Your business.
My business.
God’s business.
 
If we could only keep this in mind in our relationships, work and life expereinces.
Life becomes so much more pleasent and in flow when we live according to this understanding about business.
 
As we start off this new year,
this new decade I am already being faced with so many people coming to me caught up in the nets of anothers business,
or that of God’s.
The desire is to try and to control an outcome of something that makes one feel nervouse or frustrated because it is not happening the way they “think it should go,” but the reality is that 80% of the business happening in our lives in all subject areas, we have zero control over because it is not actually our business but that of another individual or that of God.
 
Now our ego may try and brainwash us into the idea that we can control it,
that our opinion, ideas, judgements and fears mean something in the face of the events happening,
but the reality is the opposite.
 
I use to give way to many f-cks over other people’s business or that of God’s.
I would get my panties in a wad over so many things and find myself sitting in frustration, suffering, fear, worry and exhaustion from it all.
I believed that my state of worry and desire to change things or people was worth something to me,
worth something to others,
to life or the outcome.
 
It took seven children and two ex husbands to teach me otherwise plus a a couple lovers who openned me up to the reality that all I was ever in charge of or had any amount of control over was ME.
 
My business.
 
And what is the “my business” portion of this life?
 
My business is really simple.
And the simplicity is what allows us to let go of all the chains of the need to control.
Keeping it simple is how we access our natural state of flow and well-being.
 
The state of My Business is:
👉Staying present within self and the moment.
👉Recognizing that we are all individuals that have free will and make our own choices.
👉Realizing that your need to control is a fear based reaction.
👉Realize that the ONLY things that you can control are your own thoughts, feelings and actions.
👉Underestand that a request that you make is just that, a request, not a commandment or law.
👉Know that you are the ONLY one that can make YOU happy. Happiness is an inside event first.
👉Know that you are NOT responsible for any other person’s thoughts, feelings or actions on this planet.
👉Know that everything happens for a reason and that even sometimes hardest of events is teaching each player a valuable lesson of their own.
👉Know that God does not expect you to fix it for everyone or have all the answers. Just to look within and know you are worthy of a good life and of love.
 
I still get caught up in the desire to control events and other people’s reactions or actions.
I still get caught up in the concept that I am responsible some how for what another person chooses to do,
as if I forced them into the action or feeling by doing something on my side.
I still fear loosing people in my life by stepping forward and just being me and not getting caught up in their shiz.
I still fear looking aloof,
like I do not care or love because I am choosing to do me instead of getting lost in someone else’s business.
 
But, I am here to share with you on this beautiful January morning in 2020 that all of that and more,
most likely anything that you can come up with for a reason as to how you are ceratin that you CAN ACTUALLY control something or someone,
or that you “should” sit and worry about anothers actions, ideas, etc.
are all in reality based in fear.
Based in your ego.
And are only there not because you care so much about the other or event,
but that at your core you are fearful of what it means to you.
How it will imapct you.
And what you are loosing because of this event or action.
 
It is a YOU based action to worry.
It is a YOU based action to control.
It is a YOU based action to get your panties in a wad over what someone said, did, etc.
 
And all of this is keeping YOU seperated from your happiness.
Seperated from your SOUL truth.
 
How do I know this?
Because worry feels like shit.
 
Because fear is not of our soul or of God.
Because power may feel good in the essence of having it for a moment,
but it bares with it the void of true connection, love and acceptance.
All the things that every human being desires.
 
The Business of YOU need not go any futher than the acceptance of the reality that YOU can only control YOU.
 
And the most loving thing you can do for another,
the most powerful impact that you can have on an event,
is to KNOW YOUR TRUTH.
 
Know who you are and what you are charge of.
 
Anything else is an opinion based on your life expereinces and perception which is not like any other soul on this planet.
Anything else is based on your own fears, programmed thoughts and views, hopes, desires and can never be expected to be like any other person’s.
You have no effing clue what anyone is ever feeling, thinking or what they have actually lived.
You have no concept of the path that God has set up for anyone or what thier life lessons are.
 
But by trying to step into the midst of anothers business or that of God’s you block your own truth,
your own happiness and abundance.
You cause speration.
And seperation does not feel good.
 
It feels like worry.
It feels like fear.
It feels like you are out of control.
It feels like you have lost.
It feels like a disappointment.
It feels like you are being emptied out and tied up.
 
This is not your true state of being.
 
And if you make the choice to stay in your own business from this moment forward the best you can and when you accidently step into anothers business or God’s out of an old habit to just pause and step back out of it and back into what you can have impact on,
 
Your business.
You will discover an inner peace.
A love like you have never known before.
Self- love.
And through this your reactions and ability to connect will forever be changed.
 
I wish you a year of YOU.
A year of a powerful you.
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Are you ready for a Year Of YOU?
Availble to a limited VIP group of powerful manifestors and individuals who want to rock out and Kick A*s in 2020 I am doing a private 1:1 opportunity to change your inner world to one of high vibration, focused intention, release of fear and self- sabotaging patterns, and development of abundance skills for life, love and money.
 
Message me for full deet’s on this VIP 6 -week opportunity to work 1:1 with me and make 2020 a Year of Me!
 
Start of 2020 and activiating your Yes year to You by saying YES to this potent opportunity today.
Posted on

Men Who Can’t Lead and Women Who Can’t Submit

GIVE ME YOUR POWER.
I AM THE MAN AND WHAT I SAY GOES.
 
Another laughable topic of today’s time.
The man who acts like this and believes that he is worthy of respect,
worthy of being followed is a MOFO FOOL.
 
I was speaking with a couple of my female clients over the last few weeks about this topic.
 
The topic of LETTING YOUR MAN LEAD,
and actually SUBMITTING ( following) his lead.
 
It’s hard in today’s time to follow our men,
am I right ladies?
 
Multiple things are at play.
 
First being that we woman have been scorned and hurt so much,
our trust has been breached so damn much that we just are no longer willing to keep opening up our hearts and lives to men who do not have our own best interest in mind.
 
And we simply have come to terms with the fact that we are strong AF and don’t really need a man.
 
ESPECIALLY, if he is just going to use us and toss away or lie to us.
 
For us women, we know we can get the sex we may want pretty easily, granted we get that it won’t be as deep or intimate as we may hunger for,
but it still can be damn good and 80% of our sexual needs met.
And when we are in control of it, then we can get it with limited to no emotional damage.
As for needing a man for money…
yeah well #1, most women today pride themselves in making good money and not needing a man to take care of them that way, we don’t want to owe any man anything so that he can hold it over our head and demand from us what we don’t trust to give or feel like giving.
#2, those who do choose to let men finance them typically have figured out how to be the puppeteers of the men by using sex to get what they want and they have no respect or loyalty to the dude, they just look at it as though its commerce and the guy is damn lucky to be getting it at whatever cost it is.
#3, those who are “in a committed relationship and with kids,” well they bounce between heart and fear of messing up their babies lives with a separation so plot for empty nest times and just put their heads down and wait.
 
The second biggest reason we women can’t submit to men of today is that men don’t have a clue what leadership is in relationship.
 
I tell men all the time that they need to led and they respond back with,
 
” I try but she won’t let me.”
” I don’t know how to do that.”
“I do lead, I am the man and she knows it.”
 
The first statement here is two sided,
men you need to be a man that is worthy of be followed first. That means you need to know yourself,
trust yourself,
be capable of making decisions,
and make consistently good choices.
It means that you need to be a man of your word.
It means that you need to be compassionate and understanding.
It means that you need to take responsibility for your wrongs.
It means that you need to KNOW that you are not always right and that’s okay.
It means that you need to have PURPOSE outside of your woman, money, playtime or even work. ( What is your life mission statement men?)
 
But ladies,
we have to learn how to soften ourselves and offer our men an opportunity to do all these things too. We can’t run around shooting them in the knee over everything and getting pissed that they are trying.
 
We have to open up our hearts just a bit and give them an opportunity to touch them with their desire, love and ideas.
 
We have to drop the tough cookie roles and lean in and let our men practice being a gentlemen.
 
We have to allow and even ask for our needs to be met.
We have to stop telling men what we think they should hear and instead speak our integrity to them, tell them the truth, but tell them in compassion.
 
Ladies we have to WANT to attract a better quality man into our lives and know we are worthy of it.
 
The second statement above,
well guys re-read what I just wrote there!
 
Got it?
Got it?
 
I sure AF hope so.
 
And now the third statement above.
 
“I do lead, I am the man and she knows it.”
 
This is NOT leadership.
This is control.
This will not gain you respect, loyalty or love.
And a strong, confident, intelligent woman will NEVER desire this sort of man.
 
We don’t want to babysit our men.
We don’t want to raise you, that was your mama’s job.
But we sure AF don’t want to be owned by you either.
 
This sort of attitude just show’s how damn insecure you are.
How much you NEED someone else to bow before you to make you feel worthy, strong, powerful.
 
This is not real leadership or even real power.
 
This is weakness and ego.
And the women of today can smell this shiz a mile away.
 
The issue with today’s relationships….
with today’s men and women…
 
Is simple.
 
Men have not properly been taught how to be respectful,
men have not been taught how to know their own worth,
they have not been taught how to love, self or other.
Men have no clue what leadership is.
Men have no idea about life purpose.
And most of you men out there DO NOT KNOW WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
 
Lost sheep in a big world where you were never initiated into your man-hood.
 
Instead were told to take, to belittle, to guilt, to retract your love, to be in ego, to play games and that women were not to be trusted.
 
The masculine is lost.
But so is the feminine.
 
Ladies, its time for us to love our men who are trying.
Show appreciation for the men who work at being gentlemen.
Don’t fight them,
but instead support them.
Don’t instantly jump to the conclusion that all men are trying to hurt us, use us or want something from us.
Ladies, receive the compliment with a THANK YOU.
Let him hold your door open.
Ask a man for help in putting a case of water in your grocery store cart.
Smile at a random stranger.
 
By us women knowing our worth and loving ourselves,
by us women speaking our truth in compassion instead of a power struggle,
we will teach the men.
 
And men GROW THE F-ck UP!
And stop making excuses.
Figure out WHO YOU ARE.
 
Every woman LOVES and DESIRES a man on fire,
who has purpose, confidence and passion for his life and KNOWS himself.
 
This is a man who can LEAD the strongest of women.
 
As Always.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to level up your relationship and learn how to be a leader as a man? Message me for deet’s on my global private coaching today.
 
Today’s musing inspired by
 
Michael Baisden Live
Posted on

Forced Consent is Not Authentic Consent.

You can’t touch this….
Touch.
Hands on attention.
Something that is so needed,
so human, so intimate and connective.
 
Yes touch is something beautiful.
Unless it is not wanted.
Unless it is given when it is not appropriate.
Unless it is out of one’s boundaries or it is forced upon someone.
 
And it is this final statement that I want to address today.
As a woman who has experienced her fair share of trauma,
and speak about the healing process,
the psychological issue around and how to best prevent further trauma in life,
It has come to my attention over the last week the power of touch, yet again.
 
The same touch that can show love can also trigger fear.
Our hands and fingers can open in a hug and give one with deep care and no desire to harm another,
these same hands and fingers can penetrate another person with fear and trigger old wounds as well as cause new ones with the same action of a hug.
 
How can that be?
How is it possible?
Does that mean that we should just not touch anyone?
Yet here we are a touch deprived society.
Hungry for touch and the fact that we are so deprived has us uncertain as to what is healthy and what is not,
because we are deprived and not taught proper respect and boundaries,
permissions and body language signs,
because we want what we want and tend to overlook another person’s feelings or obvious gestures of not wanting to be touched,
we push ourselves onto others with great disregard to what we may actually be triggering in them or re-anchoring from a past wound.
 
Touch can be healing,
but it can also be harming.
 
Outside of the harmful touch of physical abuse which is what you may think when you read the words of touch can be harmful,
it can still be harmful with a loving, caring, even playful touch.
 
I will bring to the attention what our society is being taught.
 
Recently in America we have dealt with the conversation of touch with our very president being captured stating:
 
“Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”
 
This is an extreme statement about touch.
About taking what you want with disregard to another human being. And I see the fall out of this statement in many relationship scenarios from parenting to lovers,
from friends to colleagues.
 
Every time we ask our child for a hug or a kiss and they say “no” and we respond with,
“Come on, mommy/daddy need’s a hug.”
” Give me hug and then you can go.”
“I will give you this if you give me a hug or a kiss.”
 
We are disrespecting our child’s space and answer.
We are teaching our child that it is okay to ignore a “no” and to even try and bribe, guilt or push further for what you want with total disrespect to another’s desire, boundary or need.
 
This then translates to adults who believe that it is okay to push for what they want with a spouse or partner.
 
It translates to adults who do not respect the space, time or feelings of another in any relationship situation.
 
It translates to adults who do not take responsibility for their actions, as they feel that they are doing what they are doing out of a “good” place or a “just or deserving” place, as though they have the right when in fact they do not,
and that no matter how good or right our actions may be,
if they are harming toward another’s boundaries or desires then we need to pause and respect what we are being told or what we are witnessing in energy,
body language coming from another person.
 
Touch.
It is so very powerful.
And our boundaries around it can ebb and flow within any relationship and moment by moment in our lives.
A touch that felt good yesterday may very well close us down to connection the next.
 
And the thing to remember about touch is that it extends past the physical.
 
Touch is about how we touch another person.
 
We can touch another person with our physical body,
we can touch them with our words,
we can touch them with the look from our eye’s,
the expression on our face.
We touch other’s all the time.
How you touch them is the question that I encourage you to review in your life today?
 
Are you honoring and respectful?
Do you listen to their body language as well as their words?
Can you hear their truth and accept it just as that,
without needing approval from them or needing a reason as to why they think, feel or need what they need?
 
Or are you operating from a place of self-centeredness?
A place of need and hunger?
 
When you are in relationship with anyone,
no matter the intimacy level or actual label on the relationship,
do you give…
do you touch…
do you speak…
do you act…
out of the place of unconditional respect and love or are you wanting something and wanting to feel a certain way,
with the belief that if this other person “supports” (gives) you what you are wanting by allowing you to act, speak, give, touch, etc… the way that you deem good in that moment,
that this is what “should” happen and it is “okay” because that is just the way that you want it to be?
 
We are all guilty of ignoring another and insisting that they feel or think a way that we want them too instead of how they may actually be feeling or thinking.
 
We are all guilty of wanting something from another at times.
We are all guilty of missing ques in body language or tones, even not hearing words fully and crossing over boundaries.
We are all guilty of being self-centered.
 
No one wants to feel rejected.
No one wants to feel like they have hurt someone that they care for.
 
The reality is that when in relationship,
we will hurt those we care for.
We will not always be present with them.
And we will have hidden expectations if nothing else that we are not aware of that may cause issues along the path.
 
But if we want to act out of love,
if we want to be emotionally mature,
and trustworthy,
if we want to expand and deepen a relationship,
then each of us MUST take responsibility for how we choose to touch those around us.
 
With our words.
With our physical bodies.
With our looks.
With our expectations.
And assumptions.
 
And we must learn to respect the “No” without question of why.
 
Because no one owes you an explanation of why they are feeling any way,
just like you do not owe anyone an explanation as to why you think or feel any particular way either.
 
But to push your will on another,
is a breaking of truth,
it is dishonoring to the relationship and to both parties in relationship,
and it shows the desperation of one’s need and lack of actual care for another.
Making it detrimental to the relationship.
 
Pay attention to what you are seeing,
to what you feel coming from another person,
not not what you want to feel or see.
 
Realize that your truth about any particular thing may not be the same as another’s and if you are interacting with another person you NEED their consent to involve them.
 
How are you toughing those in your life today?
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.