THIS is My Tagline To Life and HERE IS WHY.

“CBD lovin’, anti-vaxxing, interracial family, sexually open and confident, slutty AF some may say, freedom focused, excepting of all.”

 

THIS is my lifestyle tagline.

THIS is my family tagline.

THIS is my belief’s tagline.

 

And why would this be my tag line?

Because I believe in freedom of speach, love, sex, religion,choices in life and believe that no matter who you are, ( race, religion, polical views, sex, sexual preferences, economic standing or other) that WE ARE ALL WORTHY.

 

Worthy of what you may ask?

 

Worthy of  living.

Not just existing.

Worthy of all the things stated above.

Worthy of having our own opinions.

Worthy of not being shamed or stoned by others ideas, judgements, opinions or fears.

Worthy of just being us.

 

Many disagree with me on many topics.

And the thing that comes through the most in the conversations and debates is a desire to shush me.

To the point that recently I was multiple times told that I was a bad citizen for my views, that I was not compassionate and did not care for others, that I was a horrible human being, that I should shut up, and that if I get sick to not waste the medical systems time but to just die at home.

 

All of these statements came because of a disagreement in ideas and beliefs.

 

Differences of views.

 

All of these stones thrown had the strong feeling of wanting to shame, control and silence what did not align to their beliefs and views of current.

 

And as I read through comments of over a hundred plus,

I found myself sitting in gratitude for these individuals’ truth shares.

 

I am not a person that has an issue with seeing things differently then the masses,

differently then my lover, my child or my friend.

And I know that my views on life are a far cry from average and ordinary.

 

And it is beautiful to me that we humans are so diverse in our desires, our feelings and beliefs.

It’s what makes us each so unique.

But typically we deeply fear what is not like us.

What is not common or what we perceive as normal.

Our fear makes us want to eradicate whatever is not perceived the same as us.

 

And this has been our human nature forever.

The reason I do not lay claim to a religion is because religion is a prime example of this belief structure that there is ONLY ONE WAY.

 

I believe that we are all truly children of God no matter our race, belief, sex or preferences.

I believe that the creator moves through us all.

And that our differences are revealing how diverse God truly is.

I believe that “made in his image” does not refer to our race, sex or other but is actaully speaking of the energy, the life and consciousness, the love that resides in all of us.

 

I believe that we are each here to learn from one another and that one of our biggest life lessons is to learn to love our differences.

 

The only way that we can ever do this though is to learn to love ourselves at a deep level first.

To strip ourselves from this concept that we are here to please others ideas, views or beliefs about us.

Self-love comes from seeing our light and darkness and making peace with them both.

Self- love comes from knowing our own value.

Self- love comes from respecting ourselves enough to not sway to the worlds ideas and perceptions, nor to just give up ourselves because we make another uncomfortable with our views and beliefs.

Self- love is mandatory if we are to ever have true unconditional love for any other human as well.

And compassion can only come when we have it for ourselves first.

Same for any positive characteristic that we value such as respect or understanding.

 

If we believe that we are responsible for everyone elses everything and they for our feelings, fears and hopes then all we are showing is our lack of clarity within who we are.

 

To have understanding,

we need to listen,

we need to inquire,

we need to learn to breathe and not be so reactive,

jumping to conclusions.

We need to realize that this person that we want to have understand us,

desires the same.

The majority of our fights in our world and in our own homes comes about because we suck at communication skills.

And the ones listed above are the highlighted ones that need attention from all of us.

 

The radical conversations that are traveling around the world right now are just highlighting the true poison that resides within each of our lives.

 

It is fear.

And it is fear of differences more than anything else.

And so we run around pointing fingers and laying blame on everyone who thinks differently or looks differently proclaiming that we love unconditionally, stating that we are wanting peace, freedom, well being for all but continuing the blame game as we spew out our hatred and lack of toleration or desire to understand our fellow human beings.

 

All the while believing that we love ourselves and that is why we are fighting and hating.

 

When we speak such poison as some of the things I have heard the last few weeks it saddens my soul at how many people truly are lost within themselves and hold so much anger and hatred.

 

When we can get to a point where we can agree to disagree and still love our fellow human despite the difference,

then we will be in a place where we can heal and make true change in our world as well as in our communities and home.

 

But this will only happen when we can learn to love ourselves deeply. To look within ourselves and love all our flaws, all our sins, all our wounds as well as our beauty.

 

Until then,

we will remain lost and hateful.

 

To freedom.

To love.

To all our beautiful differences.

 

Be the change, start loving unconditionally today, ‘starting with yourself.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn more about self-love practices that can transform your reality from average and ordinary to a F-ck Yes Life? Message me today.

 

Today Give Yourself Permission to Fall In Love.

Giving myself permission to fall in love while in isolation.

Such a beautiful opportunity to come back to self.

To come back to what matters most in this life

and to fully embrace all that I have not yet allowed to manifest.

Can you do the same?

Imagine a world that took this time of solitude,

this time of silence,

this time of moving slower and not rushing here and there,

as an opportunity to fall in love.

To fall in love with SELF first.

To fall in love with all your own little quirks and those things you find fault in.

To fall in love with the things that you find challenging.

To fall in love with your DESIRES.

To fall in love with your hopes and your dreams.

Imagine if you sat with all the things that you think about and made a plan as to what steps you needed to take to open the doorway to you creating the life that you want.

Imagine if you did not JUST THINK about the steps but actually took action on all the ones that you could RIGHT NOW.

Imagine if you looked at the person that you “wish” you could be and that you know that you must become in order to have this life you desire and started to implement just three to five things into your daily practice that would support you fully stepping into this person who calls in those dreams and desires with ease.

Imagine if you took this time to reconnect to YOU.

To step away from the habits that you use to buffer yourself from feeling your truth.

Imagine if you looked past the things that you use to not feel and instead give yourself permission to feel your emotions, all of them.

Imagine if you allowed yourself to do some deep dive inquiry work with yourself to learn who you are right now and what your interests are without the expectations, needs or desires of others.

Imagine if you took some time today and each day to appreciate your body for supporting you the way that it does.

Imagine if you took time each day to connect to the people that you claim matter most to you.

Imagine if you slowed down even more,

and took time without any noise to really appreciate the sky.

The tree’s. The breeze. The sunshine. Nature.

Imagine if you took this time to learn something new.

Imagine if you took this moment that God is offering you and instead of focusing on the fear that the world is stuck in,

YOU…

YES YOU…

Realize your power.

Imagine what your life today could be like.

What your tomorrow would feel and look like.

Imagine with me now, a world of individuals doing just this.

Participating in a mass healing of consciousness.

A mass healing of embodiment.

A mass healing of self-love and appreciation.

A mass healing of community.

Because a better you,

is a better us,

is a better world.

But in order for this to be a real thing,

we each must do our part.

We must stop giving it only lip service and instead take action.

We must move forward with clarity in self.

This is how we turn the chaos into beauty.

Into peace.

But you must do your part, love.

You must know your worth,

know your value to today and to this world.

Knowing that in your actions,

your thoughts,

your embodiment,

you let your light be shown,

and with each light that ignites the darkness will be replaced with radiance.

We are a chosen people.

We are a people blessed by the hands of the creator.

We are a people that walk in the footsteps of greatness.

And how we progress forward is based on the choices that we each make.

SO if you think you have no power or say in the days and events to come,

THINK AGAIN.

You are the power.

You are the choice.

So live today in Self-Love and Awareness.

Dare to do something unique.

Dare to embody the self.

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Now accepting applications for 1:1 coaching.

Learn how you can let go of that that causes you stress and fear and truly create the life that you’ve always wanted for.

Plus inquire about my group coaching for ways to reduce anxiety and stress with a 5 week mastermind on the vagus nerve.

Photo credit to Photographyinwonderland.

You Are Right, You Do Not Deserve It!

Let me ask you this, are you:

Shamelessly stepping into your success?

Shamelessly stepping into your abundance?

Shamelessly Saying YES to Yourself?

At our core if we don’t feel worthy, then we are not going to receive. Because we are not going to allow ourselves to receive.

We all battle worthiness issues. I know I do.

We are told that we should not focus on self. To love self is almost condemned in our society. It is crazy to think that it is far more accepted  to hate on yourself than to love yourself. But we are shamed for doing just this.

If we “think to much of ourselves.”

If we ” love on ourselves.”

If we ” speak to highly of ourselves.” 

We are shamed.

Don’t be selfish.

Don’t be self-centered.

Many of us were told that to be self-less was the desired path.

That we are to give of ourselves until we can give no more.

And that we should be able to keep giving and not need any replenishment of any kind, especially any self- love, care or acceptance.

And MOST certainly NO BRAGGING!

The thing is, you cannot consistently give at any decent level if you are not receiving some form of nurturing, love or pleasure. You must receive and feed yourself in order to be able to take care of others or achieve any sort of result you may desire in life.

You must allow yourself to receive love, care and other things in order to keep yourself in a state of being able to give and do.

And RECEIVE.

So here you go.  What I am speaking about is worthiness.

And what that comes down too is being selfish.

At our core we HAVE to have worthiness in order to create all our dreams, accept love, receive any abundance or success.

Even most of your needs will not come to you if you have worthiness issues.

Have you ever noticed that when something good just happens out of the blue, you know when you have that really good luck drop on you, how it is hard to believe that it did.

You cant believe that you had that sort of good luck.

You cant believe that you got that blessing.

You cant believe that you had that miracle happen.

Do you feel like these events are coincidences?

Or do you send out gratitude and stand in expectation for more because you KNOW  that you are worthy?

If your anything like the majority of peeps out there you most likely live in a state of lack of belief that you deserve anything. Which is where the shock of the good shit happening to you comes in. That is that, “Woohoo, OMG! moment.” Yes in this moment of praise you are excited but unbelieving that you are worthy of such yummie gifts from God. When we step into this pattern of disbelief and say such things as, “ I cannot believe this happened to me.” you are showing your lack of worthiness in the blessing.

Well, is it your true lack of worthiness or is it your belief that you are not worthy?

In those experiences and events you are stating that you don’t deserve this goodness to come into your lives.

BUT in TRUTH YOU DO!

When I use words such as gratitude and expectation or child like enthusiasm what I am saying to you is that THIS is a true state of worthiness. It is the act of receiving our blessings and knowing that there is more to come, because more is already coming.

The ONLY way those blessings will not show up is if you have doubt that they will. If you believe that God will not provide for you and that God is somehow wanting you to suffer.

Imagine if you put as much faith and expectation into having abundance in life as you do about living in scarcity?

What would your life be like?

I can tell you what it would be like because I have shifted my own personal shit around this topic and went from raising five children on welfare, in a bad marriage, starting to have health issues, and only having a household income of $17,000. Constantly struggling, moving from house to house, never knowing if the power or water would be on or if I could afford the basics for my family to having stability, savings, debt freedom, incredible loving relationships all around, a multi-six figure income, travel, a clean bill of health and living what I call a F*ck YES! life

This is what happens when you start to love yourself.

This is what happens when you start  to appreciate yourself.

This is what happens when you understand that God is great and wants your greatness to shine as well.

This is what happens when you heal your shame and embrace your worthiness.

You MUST CLAIM YOUR LIFE though.

You MUST start to say yes to taking care of yourself and STOP holding on so firmly to the reigns of fearful control and instead open your arms up and embrace the blessings that are falling all around you.

If you continue to condemn yourself then you will continue to remain in victim status in your life and will NEVER reap the bounties of joy, love, abundance and health that is RIGHT before you.  You will continue to feel disconnected, unloved, unworthy, lost and even forgotten.

Life will become all about duty and responsibility.

It will be filled with stress, anxiety, fear and depression.

But it does not have to be that way!

NO!!!!!! 

You can have everything RIGHT NOW by simply loving yourself and expecting miracles, expecting blessings, expecting in FAITH that it is not just coming, but already here.

That is the ONLY trick that you have to learn.

In order to achieve this though you must do these three things:

  1. Pay attention to the mental masturbation you have going on. The chaotic, fear based thoughts that you find yourself dancing with all day. Do you wake up to these thoughts? Do you fall asleep to them? Today commit to starting your day by saying 5 things you are grateful for and end the day as you lay your head down to sleep with five things that you are in gratitude for having happen in the day. This simple practice will change your world and quickly help you feel more worth in receiving abundance.
  2. You must accept RIGHT NOW that self-esteem comes from no where else but inside you.  You must accept yourself without complaint and be willing to work on all aspects of self without contempt or lapse into negativity. This means take FULL responsibility for your life and what is and is not in it.  Focus on removing your ego’s dominant need to cast blame.
  3. Stop feeling guilty about having good shit happen. Stop shrinking down your blessings and feeling like you “should” not have what you have.  You must commit to no longer accept guilt into your life. If you are feeling guilty about things that you have done in  your past dig a little deeper and realize that what you most likely are calling guilt may be remorse instead. With regret we gain a learning opportunity, with guilt we are in a state of reproach.

CLAIM YOUR LIFE TODAY!

Claim your worthiness by saying YES to yourself NOW

Love yourself one mustard seed worth of what God loves you and watch abundance fill your life. 

 

-KW

 

 

 

10 Things You Should Know about Sex

1. Sex is God’s good creation.

God in his great wisdom, for his glory and our good, has chosen to place us in a world where sex is a significant part of the human experience. The issue of sex is important and unavoidable because God, in wisdom and love, chose it to be.

Because sex is the creation of God’s hand and exists under the control of his sovereignty, we should approach it with reverence and awe, not with embarrassment and timidity. Sex came from him, belongs to him, and continues to exist through him—to him be the glory.

2. Sex can be dangerous.

Sadly, today sex—a beautiful creation of God—functions in the surrounding culture like a spiritual solvent eating away at the very fabric of the human community. It has perverse power to master your heart and, in so doing, determine the direction of your life. It gives the buzz that you’re in control while, at the very same time, becoming the master that progressively chains you to its control. It offers you an inner sense of well-being while having no capacity whatsoever to satisfy your heart.

It seduces you with the prospect of contentment-producing pleasure but leaves you empty and craving more. Sex holds out the possibility that you will finally be satisfied but instead causes you to envy whoever has more and better than you do. It sells you the lie that physical pleasure is the pathway to spiritual peace. Sex is the work of the Creator’s hands but tends to promise you what only the Creator can deliver. It is beautiful in itself but has become distorted and dangerous by means of the fall.

3. Suffering will impact your sexuality.

If suffering is every person’s experience, then you should expect suffering to impact your sexuality. You will suffer the reality that right here, right now, sex doesn’t function the way that God intended. You will face the redefinition, distortion, and misuse of sex. You suffer the temptation to take your sexual life outside of God’s clear boundaries.

You will suffer being blindsided by sexual temptation at the mall, on your computer, when watching Netflix, or, sadly, even when you’re doing a Google search on your phone. You will suffer women exposing their bodies in public or men treating women like they’re little more than physical toys for their pleasure. You will suffer the hardship of trying to protect your children from all the sexual danger out there, while you work to keep your own heart pure.

Because you know of all the seductive temptations, you will suffer issues of trust with those you love. Some of us will suffer sexual abuse, and others of us will suffer the exhaustion that comes from trying to keep our hearts pure. You will suffer misunderstanding and mockery as you try to stay inside God’s boundaries in a culture that laughs at the thought of sexual boundaries. Paul assumes that we will suffer, and if he’s right (and he is), that suffering will include our sexuality.

4. Sex cannot satisfy your heart.

Sex is powerfully pleasurable, but it cannot satisfy your heart. The touch of another person stimulates your body and your heart, but it never leaves you fulfilled. Sex connects you in powerful and dramatic ways to another person, but it has no ability whatsoever to make you a better person.

Whether we know it or not, every human being lives in search of a savior. We are all propelled by a quest for identity, inner peace, and some kind of meaning and purpose. And we all look for it somewhere. Here’s the bottom line: looking to creation to get what only the Creator can give you always results in addiction of some kind. The thing you hoped would serve you pulls you into its service. What seemed like freedom ends up being bondage. The thing is not the problem; what you’ve asked of it is.

God’s creative intention was to bring glory to himself by the pleasures he created.

5. God is at the center of your sexual world.

Our problem with sex doesn’t begin with lust, with bad choices, or with sexual misbehavior. Our problem with sex begins when we forget that God must be at the center of this part of our lives as he must be with any other. When you have no greater motivation in sex than your own satisfaction, you are already in sexual trouble, even if you don’t know it yet. How have you tended to put yourself in the center of your world of sexuality?

Whether or not you functionally recognize it, at the epicenter of your sexual world exists a God of awesome power, glory, and grace. Sex in its rightful place in your heart and life always begins by recognizing that he is at the center.

6. Sex is deeply spiritual.

Sex is not an a-religious thing. Sex is deeply spiritual. Your relationship to your own sexuality and the sexuality of others always reveals your heart. Your sexual life is always an expression of what you truly worship. Sex is deeply religious. In sex you are either self-consciously submitting to God or setting yourself up as God. In other words, sex is never simply a horizontal thing. Sex always connects you to the God who created your body, gave you eyes to see and a heart that desires, and tells you how you are to steward this aspect of your personhood.

7. Sexual sin starts with your heart.

Here’s where the words of Christ drive us: our struggle with sexual sin is not first a struggle with the environment in which we live or with the people that we live near. Our struggle with sexual sin reveals the dark and needy condition of our hearts. We are our biggest problem.

When it comes to sexual sin, the greatest sexual danger to any human being anywhere lives inside him, not outside. Isolation, changes of location and relationship, and management of behavior never work because they don’t target the place where the problem exists—the heart.

8. Pleasure is God-glorifying.

God’s creative intention was to bring glory to himself by the pleasures he created. Each pleasurable thing was perfectly created and designed to reflect and point to the greater glory of the One who created it. These things were designed to be pleasure inducing but also for a deeply spiritual purpose.

They were meant to remind you of him. They were meant to amaze you not just with their existence but with the wisdom, power, and glory of the One who made them. They were put on earth to be one of God’s means of getting your attention and capturing your heart. The pleasure of sex is meant to remind me of the glory of my intimate union with Christ, which only grace could produce.

9. The pleasure of sex is no substitute for God’s grace.

It’s right to celebrate the goodness of God in giving you sweet pleasures to enjoy, and you should never feel guilty enjoying them as long as you do it within his boundaries and for his glory. It’s wonderful to celebrate the tasty pleasures of food, the stunning beauty of a fine piece of art, the sweet intimacy of sex, or the sound drama of a well-written piece of music. But as you’re celebrating pleasure, don’t forget to celebrate grace.

God’s grace has the power to protect you from asking of pleasure what you should not ask. God’s grace gives you the power to say no to the seductive call of pleasure when it is vital to say no. God’s grace offers you forgiveness when you have failed to do both these things. And God’s grace ushers you into the presence of the One who alone can give you the lasting satisfaction and joy that your heart seeks. So as you’re celebrating the physical pleasures of the created world, take time to celebrate the eternal pleasures of redemption.

10. Sex is intended to point us to God himself.

Since God created both you and sex, it is impossible to properly understand sex and participate in it appropriately if you are practically ignoring God and his existence. By means of creation you are his, and your sex life is his.

Sex that recognizes God’s existence becomes the beautiful, intimate, relational act of worship that it was intended to be. In the midst of all its physical delights, it does not forget God. It remembers that everything enlivened and enjoyed in sex belongs to him. It rests in his control and celebrates his care in the midst of the most intimate of human connections.

Paul David Tripp (DMin, Westminster Theological Seminary) is a pastor, author, and international conference speaker. He is also the president of Paul Tripp Ministries. He has written a number of popular books on Christian living, including What Did You Expect?Dangerous CallingParenting, and New Morning Mercies. He lives in Philadelphia with his wife Luella and they have four grown children. For more information and resources, visit paultrippministries.org.

Is it Christmas yet? A love story.

WOW!!!! I cannot believe how quickly this year has gone by. So many amazing adventures and beautiful people have shared this year with me. This next week is Thanksgiving, there are already Christmas tree’s up in the stores, lights being lit all around town and Christmas music occasionally playing here and there. Mother nature occasionally is letting us feel the comforts of the season, although here in Texas she takes too many med’s or maybe not enough and seem’s a little manic.

Doesn’t matter….

I love this time of the year, fall might even be my favorite. The other day I was on Facebook and some memories came popping up showing me what I was doing this time last year. My heart swelled with love and joy at seeing all the incredible moments that I had then. Suddenly I found myself wishing to drift back to those moments and linger there.  This year I have committed to stay home for the holidays and make it a working season in preparation for all the marvelous adventures of 2018.

Looking back on the last twelve months though I realized the journey that I have been on is one that has been loaded with blessings. Even in some of the shadowy moments I felt great rapture and transformation at a core level.  The year has had so much turbulence but with it great accomplishment.

So let me share my tale with you if you will….

Just over a year ago this new journey began, I was on a last minute hiking and horse backing riding trip to Spirit Lake in Kentucky with my lover.  The extended weekend was fabulous in every way from taking in the sites of chimney rock, the natural bridge, angels arch to horse back riding on Jack a horse that I am convinced had smoked some MaryJane.  We toured Claiborne, Secretariat’s Ranch and went to the Lexington Races, enjoyed some hippie pizza out in the middle of no where, raced on a zipline and went on a driving tour of the historical sites such as Transylvania University. However even with ALL this adventure my favorite moments were spent in the cave we discovered on the back side of the property of our cabin. Wine, camp fire and love making under the stars. Now that is orgasmic.

This unexpected trip to Kentucky was perhaps one of my favorite trips of all time. I had no expectation going in. I could not even believe that I had agreed to go on this trip, thinking what is in Kentucky anyway? LOL – WOW!!! I discovered more than what I ever could have imagined and what I am speaking of has nothing to do with everything that I just shared.

Kentucky opened my heart and soul at new level to my lover and to G-d. We had traveled before together, enjoyed beautiful destinations such as Costa Rica, but this trip, this trip we went deeper, we laughed harder, we became raw with each other spiritually as well as emotionally. It was fucking AMAZING!

We followed this trip up with New York in December where we enjoyed Broadway, Central Park, The Tavern on the Green who makes an incredible cocktail I wish I knew the name of, lots of tours, the empire state building, statue of liberty, Rockefeller Center and Tree Lighting, Sojo, the 9/11 memorial, the MET, and some simply yummy foods.

From there we found ourselves at Christmas back home! Carriage rides, plays and fine dining. Love making on a golf course and in front of the fire in the living room. Laughter, joy, play, adventure and opening…. I took my family on a cruise to Mexico to swim with dolphins, see the great wonders of Chichén Itzá, drink too much tequila and enjoy the beauty of this earth.

2017 began and I found myself on a girls trip to Punta Cana with a dear friend where we enjoyed the beaches and the breath taking night sky, hardly ever wanted to leave our private villa, went ziplining, drank too much rum and danced under the night sky and enjoyed our fierce female friendship.

February rolled around and my lover surprised me with a trip to Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds in Riviera Maya on the beach for three days. Oh my! That crazy, crazy man how he knows just what to do.  Three days on the east coast of Mexico hiking Coba, swimming with sea turtles, enjoying all the tropical waters and fish as well as the cenotes.  But we were not done with Mexico yet!

From here we flew to Cabo where we stayed a few days and did whale watching at Neptunes Finger, ziplined through a very hot canyon, toured the Sea of Cortez and ate too much.

The year was still young and as soon as this adventure was done we found ourselves a few short months later off to a surprise trip to Laguna Beach. Telling me that we were going to go hiking in the Texas Hill Country I packed for such. The morning of the trip came and he picked me up and drove me not to Austin but the the airport where he asked the TSA agents if they would pass me through everything with him holding my ticket so that I would not know till last minute where I was actually going. Guess what? I have NEVER been through security so fast and with such sweetness from TSA. We arrived in California a few short hours later and spent the day driving with the top down enjoying the the California sun.  The trip was filled with laughter, joy and love. Playing like big kids at Disneyland, shopping and dining on the streets of Laguna Beach, a sunset cruise from Dana Point and a massage and art buying after  a ferry ride on Catalina Island. Love making on the balcony over looking the ocean and snuggling by the outside fire of the Montage for sunset. Possibly my second favorite trip…..

Okay, no Dave Matthews still win’s…

At our return to Texas we found ourselves walking into a turbulent, painful summer. A summer that would change our worlds.

We could have never expected what the next few days would bring let along the next few months and the rest of the year.

I am a deeply spiritual person and I believe that the spiritual strength that we both have, needed to be revealed. This next chapter of our relationship would mean for us to part ways for an unknown time frame. Years of love, years of connection, trust, depth , play, adventure, soul raptureing moments came to a sudden halt when G-d called on us both. My lover went to a funeral and was seen by a woman whom he greatly respects , she shared a message with him that was short, “God wants you to get on your path. He is giving you three days.” – Now when one hears a message like this, one listens. Or so I hope they do.

He did.

I found myself in a place of support and distance. Feeling nervous.  Quickly the universe side tracked me with my own chaos of family. My aging mother found herself needing 24/7 care for the onset of Dementia.  Me being her only support. My entire summer was spent dealing with state issues, finding a residence for her, figuring out how to make it all work while my lover found himself moving down a path of solitude to reconnect and center himself with the creator again.  In August we made a commitment to each other that we would hold true to our paths and let G-d lead us. We swore to see each other on the other side of this solo-journey of the rebirthing of the soul. There was no fighting but there were tears.

And there are daily tears, still.

It is funny, one would think that after four months of not seeing each other or speaking, only a few short texts to exchange a brief message here and there every few weeks as to say, ” I am still alive,” that one would feel ever so distant from the other. The lesson that has now been embossed into every cell of my being is just the opposite.

At every corner of this journey I have had certainty. When I look back through the years of loving, I see all the opportunities we each had to turn away from each other but chose instead to love deeper and stand in the fires of life stronger. When I look at the years together and all that has happened between us and each of our lives I am certain that our love is unique. It is truly authentic and real. The things that we have seen, experienced and asked of each other have pushed us in many ways. Some may perceive some of our adventures in life as crazy stupid, painful, sinful even.  But here is the thing….

I am lifted up by the love I have…

The love I share…

The love that will never die…

And I still hold on, NOT to him, not even to  the love.

I hold on to my certainty that G-d has my back.

And those who have certainty, can wait with ease.

I am waiting, Christmas will come again.

Monogamy and Infidelity… What Has Happened to Relationship?

IMG_2885 editIt has been an interesting social week for this sex geek!

Love, marriage, relationship, sex, commitment, integrity, open-mindedness, judgement, new friends, old lovers and so much more…

Most of what keeps coming up this last week for me is circling around our idea’s and beliefs when looking at marriage or a “committed” relationship. The do’s and don’ts, and what is truly correct. What I have been reminded of the most is that one person’s “right way” is not always another person’s “right way,” and that this is such a beautiful thing that so many have a tough time accepting and seeing for the incredible gift that it is. As an ego based society we have been brainwashed into believing so fully that our beliefs are actually fact that we have squeezed out life, free will and individuality. We have buried personal truth and forgotten the age old wisdom, of love thy neighbor. The one core principle that ALL religions and spiritual practices have in common and as foundation. We have also forgotten that even our own personal truths and beliefs can change over the course of time and that in the end they are still only opinions in the eyes of others. Weather we back our statements with scripture, scientific evidence, or something else, they are all conjured from human translation.

Interestingly enough, since my last writing I have been through quiet a host of events and thoughts on this. A lover that I have had for a few years now (whom is a married man) had to deal with the possibility of divorce with his wife after a large dispute over his sexual activity outside of the marriage. Yet, their relationship is sexually dead and I mean DEAD. There is not even guilt sex happening. Now, I know that many who read this will be disgusted and damning, saying that in this sort of case instead of having an affair one should just get out of the relationship and stay in integrity. If your not happy then it is time to move on. If there are issues that cannot be resolved then it is time to move on. True as all of that is from a logical stand point, there are personal reasons that many who have affairs have that make it not so cut and dry. Yes, I am speaking from personal experience here. I have been an adulteress and obviously I have been a mistress as well. Both roles have blessed me with so much life lesson and deep empathy that I cannot see the disgust in them but only the beauty and empowerment that they both have led too.

Now, here is another interesting event of my week. Another old lover of mine who is a single man but was married years ago has a jealous, controlling ex-wife who has decided that he should not even text with me. Her attitude is very similar to the wife of my other lover, yet there is no contract that she can hold over his head or shame him of some religious sin. She can however cause disturbances and chaos.

In both cases above what we have are some core beliefs that we are taught about relationship, especially marriage.

In marriage you are responsible for your partners happiness.
In marriage, you are NOT to have any intimate or emotional relationships outside of that relationship. 

Love as unconditional as we may say it is hits the wall of conditions when dealing with sex and emotions.
Ownership. (Partners own the rights to use of their partners body, especially genitals) 

Jealousy is love.
If you cheat, you do not love your husband/wife.

So as you read this list, what did your heart say about each item?

Your heart not your ego, your beliefs and programs. Not what religion states. But what did your heart say? Your heart speaks in whispers remember, while the others are in your face, yelling the answers.

In follow up to these two events, I decided to do some social research on FaceBook and pose a couple questions. Here they are with some of the answers I received.

Is infidelity ALWAYS infidelity?

▪ Nope. Not always…Guess it depends on what your own definition of that is.
▪ Other’s concept of infidelity may not be yours. Not a universal definition.
▪ Infidelity is infidelity no matter how you slice it and dice it. infidelity is kissing another woman/man on the lips or commiting a sexual act with another person when in a relationship with someone. example…. peter is dating jenna, peter kisses another girl and has sexual relations with the other girl, that is infidelity.
▪ There are couples that are monogamous and then there are others that are polyamorous. Whatever works for a couple the most important thing is honesty with each other.
▪ A toxic relationship is a toxic relationship. No one should expose themselves to such thing for a prolonged agonizing period. Though leaving in itself is self empowering, and probably something that needs to be done by you. Cheating or committing in act of infidelity is a weakness that one succumbs under.
▪ And my favorite response: If communication is open and honest, then infidelity would never occur

The next question I posed was:
70%+ divorce rate. Over 40% of men in their late 40’s to 50’s have affairs. Over 30% of women in their 30’s have affairs. Many relationships have non existent or almost there so sexual relations after the 12th year together. Sperm are designed to fight sperm from other men, so that the strongest may win and the strongest offspring will be born to a woman. Women can become allergic to their mates semen.

College Study: In the early 1970s, a schoolteacher in southern England assigned a class science project in which his students were to find out the blood types of their parents. The students were then to use this information to deduce their own blood types (because a gene from each parent determines your blood type, in most instances only a certain number of combinations are possible). Instead, 30 per cent of the students discovered their dads were not their biologically fathers.

Question of the day: Are humans designed to be a monogamous species?

▪ It is possible. it requires a lot of internal work; which most people are not willing to go through.
▪ No, I don’t believe so. The reality of our true biological nature does not lend itself to that. We are programmed & learn that we should be, however, just look realistically at the divorce rate & you can see that something is a miss.
▪ I don’t think so… I think monogamy is a choice, one that can be followed through with, but naturally designed to be, no. Look at the bonobo, we are more closely related to them than any other primate/species. They, besides us (humans) are the only species who have sex, just for fun, and they do so with multiple partners. There is no hierarchy, no violence… I think it’s time we realize this, not to necessarily have multiple partners, but to have a better understanding of why we have such a high rate of failed monogamous relationships.
▪ Yes, were designed to be monogamous.. But as we as a human race evolved down through history, very early on we developed an appetite for more, and diverse engagement.. The pleasure center of our being was unlocked and an insatiable desire took over.. Pleasure is one thing, real love is another.. There is something sacred, about loved shared with one…and one only.. But our society doesn’t know how to facilitate that anymore.. There are unseen forces that prompt and Ignite some of the deeper..even hidden.. Passions.. That we might have had for just one person.. So yes, were designed.. But in the current cultural climate it is difficult to maintain.. Must be an incredible commitment to that person in your life.. Subtle, seek to steal and Rob the beauty, of that kind of oneness between two people.. Like some unseen force trying to take it away entirely… Just my sincere and humble opinion.
▪ I used to believe we were meant to be monogamous but I’m believing more and more that there is no way that just one person can satisfy all of our wants and needs (nor can we satisfy them). I believe in being open and honest with a partner but not necessarily monogamous. Just my opinion.
▪ Interestingly . . . way back in time . . . women decided what attributes their child would have . . . strength, stature, gentleness, hair colour, etc. . . . and would then seek out amongst the males in their community or tribe . . . those who embodied or embraced those qualities . . . and they would then mate with all of the chosen ones, repeatedly . . .

When the woman became pregnant with child . . . she would be supported by others of her ilk . . . and when the baby arrived . . . all of the fathers – sperm donors . . . would come to acknowledge their contribution to the new arrival . . . Within the tribe there would be those who quite naturally assumed the fatherly role in the child’s upbringing . . . even though they might not have been amongst the sperm donors .

What does all of this come down too?

Opinions. Beliefs. Programs.

All supported. All beautiful. All correct and all wrong. The true lesson of humanity is to love thy neighbor as thy self. And such raw topics such as infidelity and monogamy vs. non-monogamy are perfect teachers. Yet, fear blinds us. It blinds us from the possibilities of living in harmony and peace by embracing in unconditional love our neighbors, our lovers and mates and even ourselves. Instead of opening our minds and hearts we restrict them and point fingers. We say, “I am not judging you, that is God’s job,” while we state our opinion as fact. We slam the door of brotherhood because we fear our brothers beliefs. We go on witch hunts and call those who do not live according to our ways sluts, whores, tempters and temptresses. We pity them and most of all we fear the questions they pose to our soul without ever verbally asking it: Why am I not happy and what am I so scared of?

Fear is the answer to both.

Both questions come back to false evidence appearing real. Both are based on what we perceive as a danger when in fact, it is only self-created illusion supported by society.

We are not happy because we lack the strength and courage to live in integrity and authentically to be ourselves. We are fearful that if we were to do this, we would loss love, acceptance, family, comfort, all that we know. We fear that what we cherish in our lives and in love is truly conditional based.

We are scared of the reality of these conditions and that by living in our truth we will loose all that we feel we need.

And in reality….

Fear is just an illusion. There is no danger in any of the above. There is the reality that in many cases our fear WILL be supported by those parties we are interacting with and that we may very well find out that what we knew deep down is actually true. But, this just means that it was all a hoax anyway.

The hoax of conditional, fear based, controlling need wearing the mask of unconditional love.

In the end, it is a personal choice. The choice of living in a lie and being a sheep to needs of another or being a lion and standing firm for WHO YOU authentically are, just the way god made you.

Choose wisely. You deserve it!

-KW

Living The Shift: The Union Between Sexuality & Spirituality as Part of our Evolution

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For some time, we have created and perpetuated the belief that sexuality and spirituality are two very different boxes in our lives, along with the idea that sex is dirty, impure, and “ungodly” – only acceptable for reproduction. The treatment of this part of ourselves as forbidden and primal has led us to using the act of sex in many debasing ways and has greatly minimized, if not eliminated altogether, the idea that sexuality is actually one of the doorways to help us remember our Divinity.

When we shift to accepting its higher vibration, our sexuality becomes a sacred form of self-realization and opening to the higher self, as well as opening to full union of higher love and connection with another. In this way, it’s incorporated as a crucial part of our spiritual evolution!

Our guest this week is Kendal Williams (www.tantrictransformation.com), a Tantric practitioner whose lifetime journey to self-empowerment presented itself through the melding of her sexuality and spirituality.

Listen to the recorded talk via VoiceAmerica

livingtheshift

Living the Shift: Our Evolution of Body, Mind, and Spirit

The Union Between Sexuality and Spirituality as Part of Our Evolution

Show date: 7/30/13

Key Notes from Kendal’s Interview

Angela: Please cover the highlights of your background, how your journey led you to finding your spirituality within your sexuality.

Kendal: Spirituality has been in my life forever. Sexuality was too, but I did not understand it as such. The world has always turned me on, everything about it. Even as a child I was fascinated and turned on my nature and by everything the world had to offer me. However it was not until my teen years that I was opened up to the possibilities. Love stepped into my life with a young man who was my first teacher. He brought a greater scope of spirituality into my life by introducing me to the concepts and practices of Tantra. Our lovemaking and deep connection opened me to life and the unity of spirituality and sexuality. My real lessons in love and in life  happened though when he left and my heart crumbled into pain. This allowed me to experience the rawness of life and great beauty came from it. I turned and walked down the path of what I call the, “white picket fence life,” You could say I strived for the American dream. Success. Or what we are taught success is, the house, car, travel, money, etc. I married and had children. We went through much chaos and learning and grew spiritually even though neither of us were consciously aware of the lessons at hand. Over the course of 17 years our paths slowly separated and our lessons needed to manifest apart from each other. Toward the end of my marriage I called into my life a teacher. I started paying attention to the omens/signs around me and reconnected to the spirit that I had always knew.  During this time of my life I was introduced to kabbalah and learned about the ego and how to expand our light body as well as the meeting of Duncan Knight (my tantra teacher and now dear friend).  I knew three things at this point: 1) I needed healing personally, I was numb to life and if I felt anything it was rage and depression 2) I wanted my relationship to my husband healed but was not caught up on any given physical outcome of that, whatever healed meant was good for me  and 3) I wanted to become a practitioner.

As I worked with Duncan my lower chakras started to awaken and heal, with this my desire for living life and feeling was summed back. I was horny. My kundalini was awakening and as it did I decided that I needed to explore sexuality deeper and expand out. This awakening brought reality into a clear picture, I wanted lovers in my life. I wanted sensual expression in my life. I wanted experience and I wanted the courage to do what was needed. I was scared to death of each step I had to take, but the universe provided me with many perfect souls that would become my guides, teachers of life, mirrors, lovers and friends and even a few that would come through to teach the hard lessons of pain and suffering. This time of life was full of miracles when I look back at it. Even as I worked through tough issues such as rape and the separation of a 17 year marriage I now can see the great beauty in what was being provided.

In the unity and healing of my sexuality and spirituality I opened the gateway to harmony, peace, unconditional love and acceptance of self and others and the ability to live unbound.

Angela: What is the difference between basic sexuality, as we generally know it today, and what sexuality can be (and provide) in its optimal state?

Kendal: Its ALL about integration. The integration of sexual pleasure and spiritual surrender. We do this when we learn to love and trust in life, not just in our intimate relationships. Openness is about the body opening up, our muscles relaxing, our hearts opening instead of hiding behind emotional blockades; where spiritual openness is fully feeling into each moment of life, feeling that there is NO separation between us and that precious moment of the present. When we do this we reach optimal bliss and passion not just in our lovemaking but in our daily lives. You see when we get turned on in the bedroom we are also getting turned on to life. Sex is a creative process that wants to manifest miracles. We are the ONLY species that has the ability to not only experience great pleasure from our “mating” but also not have it be mating, instead we have the great blessing of sex for pleasure and manifestation. This is where we need to start to except sex’s greatest gift to us. In our sexing we are able to expand our vessels and fill ourselves with an enormous amount of life force energy, if we open to this power of the creator and align our thoughts in the moment or orgasm to what we want to manifest in life then we can draw down these things, out of the quantum field of possibilities and have them materialize into our lives.
Angela: Does someone have to be in a relationship to explore this part of themselves? Please expound on this a little bit.

Kendal: Absolutely NOT. Some of the best and most powerful, spiritually evolving as well as educational sex is provided in the presence of no one other then ourselves. Self pleasuring is mandatory weather you are in a relationship or not. And I highly recommend that if you are single that you take this opportunity to work on yourself both sexually and spiritually. With self- pleasuring in a spiritual sense you learn to become the shaman of your life, you learn about your body, what you like and don’t like, you learn about your energy and how it flows through you at orgasm and if you are wise you will allow yourself to be witness to not only the pleasurable events of energy flowing but how your energy flows when you are upset, depressed or otherwise. How do these times relate in energy flow to orgasm and how can you direct that energy for the greatest good instead of what normally happens, a short circuit and then exhaustion. Through the practice of spiritual sex (weather alone or not) you can acquire powerful tools of self control, self love, acceptance, healing and learn to open to your own personal vortex of abundance.

Angela: What would be your advice to someone who’s put sexuality low on the priority scale in their spiritual evolution?

Kendal: Leaving sexuality out of spirituality is like trying to be positive all the time in life, by doing this we abandon part of ourselves. We are not being authentic. And by doing that we remain at the level that the part of us that we abandoned is still sitting. Only through embracing all of ourselves, including our kinks and dysfunctions, our traumas and our desires, our angels, saints and devils will we ever be able to become the full expression of love that the creator wants us to be. This is true surrender and surrender is powerful for our spiritual/emotional and physical growth. You have to remember that the thing that all of us that consciously walk a spiritual path subscribe to is the power of love, well that love-force that moves through the universe is also the same love force that breathes our breath and enables our hearts to beat as well as our genitals to experience orgasm. The only reason we don’t accept sex as a spiritual force is because of 2500 years of fear being programmed into us. When this fear dissolves, we no longer separate ourselves from the creator, we become part of the infinite flow of life. Opening sexually is opening to this flow of life. When we are having sex we are (if we are a man) penetrating the world with our presence in the moment, with our strength, our passion, our purpose. We are guiding the energy of the universe into what we want to manifest. (if we are a woman) the more we open our legs and allow ourselves to be penetrated we open to abundance, creation, love and surrender. In this we women carry with us the infinite universe within our wombs where we can manifest our dreams into reality.

 

Angela: What would you recommend as the first step for anyone wanting to explore their sexuality in a spiritual way – both individually and in a relationship?

Kendal: There are two first steps.

Learn to breathe. Breath is not only the essence of our soul but in learning how to properly breathe you will gain great insight into yourself, as well as have the most powerful step toward connecting, maintaining and controlling your life force energy. In our breath we can connect our spirits and travel up the spiritual ladder to heaven, we can expand our orgasmic state out into the world and fill our physical bodies with a sustainable energy that will carry us for days. Breath is the gateway to higher consciousness and sex that can heal and transform us as well as our world.

The second step is:

Have more sex. Really get properly sexed open every day if you can. Single or in a relationship take the time each day to have an orgasm and when you do come, breathe it in and allow it to fill your body, relax your muscles instead of tensing up and envision in your minds eye what you want to create. Consciously surrender into this state of pleasure with the feeling, vision and desire of the life you want to have.

The Risky Game of Sex

 

 

“Sex is a risky game, because if you’re not careful, it will cut you wide open.” – from the film Kinsey

This quote is perfect. It is exactly what sex is supposed to do! However in today’s society we have crushed and termed sexual acts taboo. Somewhere along the line we made sex demonic, something that we should only do to conceive a child and should only be done in the missionary position. If we are not married then god forbids we ever explore such an act as sex.  We tell our children, “Sex is for a mommy and a daddy to do to show their love for each other. “ “Wait till you are married and only give yourself to your husband or your wife.” Oh and one of my favorite statements. “Wait till your 30.” Good girls and boys don’t have sex in their teens, they don’t fantasize about the hot boy or girl or even their teacher and they certainly DO NOT masturbate. Girls are taught from early on to be “lady like” and to shun their sexuality, their inner erotic creature. Girls are told that they should cover up and not show their breasts at all, be careful of how much booty they show, how tight their clothes are and what their body language is saying. They are taught that it is not ok to be a sensual woman. Boys are taught that girls are property and that the female in society for the most part is of a lower ranking then the male. Boys can go without a shirt in public; it’s even okay for boys to make comments about girls that may not be as tasteful as they could be, after all boys will be boys. And yet it is still taught that sex is not something to empower us but something that is to remain hidden. With all this sort of societal training it is no wonder that our youth for many decades has grown into a sexually dysfunctional culture and our relationships suffer from such issues as jealousy, rage, betrayal, duty sex as well as lack of intimacy.  Let alone simple stupidity when it comes to the actual power or act of sex. Our sex education in school is not one that teaches about reality, it only is in place to make sex a scientific study, one that is not of emotional or spiritual connection. High School Sex Ed teaches about sexual diseases and gives plenty of scare but does not teach about integrity, honor, respect or empowerment.

tantricloveSex is a risky game. If one opens up to healing their sexuality they discover a deep liberation from the societal bullshit that is accepted across the board. They discover that they are a powerhouse of unconditional love and creative energy. They awaken to empowerment through their sexuality that changes the face of every aspect of their lives where they learn how to develop and maintain healthy relationships with not only their lovers but all people.  Sexual liberation is the one thing that can change the face of this world quicker than any other form of healing in my opinion. Until we embrace our sexual power we are sheep being controlled by the rule of men and women who will further take away our rights and freedoms to the point of slavery. Only in our willingness to heal our sexuality and allow our sexing to ‘cut us wide open’ will we be able to embrace our divine aspects and find unconditional love and acceptance for our fellow humans. Being ‘cut wide open’ is stating a deep vulnerability, it is living in this vulnerability to life and accepting that just as when we were in the womb of our mother and everything we ever needed was made available and taken care of this is still so in our adult lives. Our need to control life is only a statement of ego; all our needs are provided for us if we can open ourselves in this beautiful state of orgasmic life flow.

We live in a world where prostitution is for the most part illegal. Sex workers across the world have limited rights and if one is “raped” well then she asked for it, after all she is a sex worker, a woman with little to no morals, yet porn runs ramped in our society and both men and women are learning wrong forms of intimacy and sex without honor. Our expectations of our lover are forever changed as we view these ‘performances’ and then turn to our relationship and find ourselves unsatisfied. Divorce rates are ever increasing as are extramarital affairs.

In a recent study:

  • Of young college men over 35% of them said that they would rape a woman if they could get away with it.
  • 87% of guys and 79% of girls said sexual assault was acceptable if the man and the woman were married.
  •  65% of the boys and 47% of the girls said it was acceptable for a boy to rape a girl if they had been dating for more than six months
  • 43% of college-aged men admitted to using coercive behavior to have sex, including ignoring a woman’s protest, using physical aggression, and forcing intercourse.

rapebooze

This societal attitude is accepted, yet prostitution is not. Prostitution is immoral, I forgot, and rape is not? Oh wait only some forms of rape are, the above forms are the exceptions to the rule…Mmmmmhhhmmm. And if a man ventures out and seeks sexual connection from another woman whom he pays for her time and energy then sex is NEVER possibly rape. This immoral woman has no boundaries or say in what happens to her body, after all she is opening herself up to sex and as we already stated “sex is a risky game.” Folks these beliefs and attitude take us only backward in the evolution process. They do nothing for humanity, peace, education or respect. They certainly don’t teach how to love or how to open to the great positive powers of such a divine act as sex.

Our closed minded  view points of sexuality have only created a society of sick bastards: men and women alike who repress their desires until they act them out unhealthily or shut themselves off to themselves and their loved ones so that sex is no longer an act of love, intimacy, passion, bliss and creation but one of duty and guilt, or even disgust.

For anyone who wants to know just how contaminated our culture has become I encourage them to take a quick tour on Craigslist.

  • Married, curious male looking to suck my first cock. I imagine you will be discreet, older, clean, not very hairy and patient. I am clean cut, professional, very discreet, DDF, 6′, 220#, could stand to lose a few pounds but not too big. You can reciprocate if you want, but this is about me sucking. I’ve fantasized for a long time. You must host or we meet somewhere soon
  • Married? Wife refuses to suck cock? Let’s get together for some guy time. Football, beer, and we can suck each other off. Casual relationship. Great if wives can become friends. Must be discreet.
  • I love f-cking your wife! Want to surprise the sweetie with your fantasy? I am a MWM, 6′, 210#, 9″ uncut, clean, fit, will do ANY fantasy you want.
  • Looking for a male interested in spending their day or night F-cking.
    I am a giver who will do ANYTHING to make her man have the biggest explosion of his life.
    I will do things your wife doesn’t let you, I will let you take any of my holes and let you blow your load wherever you want.
  • Are you a Hot, Sexy & Gorgeous Mother that would be considered a MILF or a Cougar & do you have a Daughter or Daughter’s Living with you that are just as gorgeous as you are?
    Are you both submissive & do you Need & Want an Older Dominant White Man to come into your lives?
    Are you both submissive Little Whorish Sluts who are sexually out of Control & Do you need to be taken in Hand & Disciplined?
    Do you wish to Meet Someone immediately & have your Lives Brought Back to Order?
    If you find that any of what has been said in this ad interests you, then TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT EACH OF YOU (Including Your Names & Ages) & SHOW ME JUST ONE GOOD PICTURE OF YOUR FACES.
    After I have received your Response with the Required Pictures & Information about yourselves, I will show you My Picture in Return & We Can Move forward from there.

And here is one more for a BIG bang! This came from a picture that i am choosing NOT share.

“Mother and daughter together serving their purpose in life, submitting to  cock.” 

Serving their purpose in life?

If we only really understood the darkness of what is happening behind closed doors. America has more underground sex slavery then most free sex countries do. Why is this? Why does our society support these acts against human sexuality in their hushing and joining in when no one is looking? Yet when sexuality is discussed in open and healthy sexing is taught by educators these same contributors are neigh sayers to sexual freedom and say that sexual liberation is immoral and against the Bible.

The ego at play yet again. It is up to us though, you and I alike to change this. To take back our sexuality rights and to harness our sexual power in a healthy fashion. It is our right to enjoy our sexing and to heal our physical, emotional, spiritual and mental bodies through sexual empowerment practices.

Your fantasies are natural and even healthy. Your sexual hunger is normal. Your longing to connect in a intimate fashion with another human being weather that is someone of the same sex or not, may it be your wife or husband, boyfriend or a stranger or even in a Ménage à trios or at an orgy is all perfectly right and part of our human experience of sexuality. What is wrong and unhealthy is when these acts of intimate play happen out of expectation, rage and our misunderstanding of intimacy and respect of our fellow human beings. When we start to view another human as an inanimate object there for our pleasuring needs then we fall into the dark shadows where we lose ourselves and with us society as well.

Make a resolution for 2013 to educate yourself on true integrity, unconditional love and the empowerment of sex as well as how sex can liberate and heal our world instead of causing pain and separation in it.

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–KW

Tantra as a Spiritual Path

Recently I did a talk for Daniel D’Neuville at the Harmony Wellbeing Center in Irving Texas. I found the center to be very peaceful and inviting as well as the modalities offered  through them to be among some of the best in the Texas area from what I can tell. I strongly encourage anyone in the DFW area and even those who are not but looking for holistic alternatives to healing to explore the story of this wellness center. The founder has a powerful tale of overcoming Parkinson’s through the use of some of the services now offered at this location.

Now as for the topic of my talk the other night: Tantra as a Spiritual Path

Funny enough even though in recent times and mostly brought on by the closed mindedness of our society Tantra has been forgotten as a spiritual path, however when one researches it they will quickly see it primarily defined as just this; a spiritual path. Thus what tantra is known for in today’s western world is not primarily as a spiritual practice but as a way to infuse ones sexing with “hawt” moves and positions. It has also gotten a reputation as a sexual practice for those who do not believe in marriage, monogamy or any form of a committed relationship. These judgement’s on Tantra have led for much miseducation and even instilled fear in the common population, making it hard for those who honesty practice the spiritual nature of this beautiful art.

In truth the sexual practices of Tantra even though they do exist are the minor of the practice. Marriage, monogamy and committed relations are not something that those who practice Tantra avoid or discourage. These relationship forms are very much alive and active in the Tantra world, however as one expands consciousness and heals their physical, emotional and mental bodies they also experience a liberation of societal constraints, often referred to as openness. This openness allows for an individual to accept where they or their partner is at any given moment in a relationship and sometimes can lead to what is know as an open or polyamorous relationship. Do not be fooled to think that these forms of relationship are anything but committed. When one embarks on such a path with their partner they have to commit to a higher standard of trust, integrity and personal growth as well as love. Without these core things in place all will fall to the waste side. Such high consciousness relationships are based on COMMUNICATION and INTEGRITY. So much so that I have found the average “marriage” or committed relationship not open, trusting or even unconditionally loving enough to handle the truth of this deep heart based communication.

Sacred Sexuality

Tantra teaches sacred sexuality and this is what is marketed around the world for the most part. Humanity has struggled with sexuality and similar related topics, but interestingly enough there has always been arts and sciences devoted to the honoring of the sacred, sexual self. In fact all of the cosmoses origins are birthed in a sensual dance of lovemaking. These creative forces are found in all of  cosmic and human manifestations. The Divine Masculine and Feminine are everywhere! Look at EVERY major religion and philosophy and you will discover a sect devoted to mysticism. Each sect of mysticism has a sector devoted to consciously comprehending and exploring the deeper concepts of sexuality and its sacredness as well as the integration of spirituality and sexuality.

So what does Tantra mean anyway?

Tantra is a Sanskrit word of two parts. The prefix, tan, means “to expand, to join or weave.” The latter part, tra, means “tool.” When placing these two together you get the definition — ” a tool to expand, liberate, and bring together.” 

Tantra does this through the practice of many spiritual, emotional, mental and physical tools that assist in the development of our kundalini energy. Kundalini energy is our, as well as the universes essence or vital force. This 3 1/2 coiled serpent power that resides in our beings at the base of the spine is understood as the mechanism that awakens and expands. This “awakening” as you will hear it referred to the most is what leads to fulfillment, realization, liberation, and salvation. This awakening comes about through breath work, meditation, bodywork, ceremonies and rituals, yoga practices, as well as the presence and the weaving of all of life together and the ability to face and press through ones inner caverns where our ghosts and demons hide, allowing for spiritual light and healing to create a new reality.

The coils: Prana, Chitta and Para all have a separate role in our ascension process.

Prana kundalini which is essentially the energy that powers the fluctuation of the cerebral spinal fluid within the spinal column is commonly known as The Breath of Life. It is the fluctuation within the cerebral fluid that is considered within the spiritual tradition to be the essence of the three faze respiration process that powers ones physiology. With this coil of kundalini you experience all of your bodily functions and movements within this experiential world.

Chitta kundalini, which is Sanskrit for mind stuff is the vital energy of the mind. It is due to chitta that we are able to take in all the senses as well as information and structure it within as our personal history. This formation of personal history is how we manifest our instincts and our views of the world.

Para kundalini, which is the highest form is the universal vital life force essence itself. I refer to it as the God Spark. It is the source from which all of experience is delivered. It is within this that we experience Spanda. Spanda is Sanskrit meaning to move a little. Better described as the extremely soft and subtle vibrations of the universe. This energy has been referred to as the Holy Ghost, that quiet still voice that comes upon us in certain times of awakening and communing with God that softly moves us. However it is commonly known as microwaves, discovered by Bell Labs back in the 1960’s. A microwave is a subtle vibration which at the time of the study seemed to be equal throughout the entire universe. This very subtle vibration was the residue of the Big Bang and the residual vibration of the energy that the whole universe was formed from.

This Para kundalini is what tantric body work helps to expand throughout a being. As all three coils open (awaken) they travel though the chakra system detoxifying a person on EVERY level. This detoxification process can sometimes happen quickly but often can take months or even years. Once complete an individual is basically born again. This time they find themselves in a new world, with new thinking programs and new realities birthing from the way the process and experience life. A  beautiful but often painful struggle must be made to ascend to these deeper, more expansive forms of personal consciousness, but when ones does they learn to live openly full of unconditional love and acceptance in gratitude and humility. A life of Soul Integrity.

This is what Tantra as a Spiritual Practice focuses on. Unlike  most other spiritual and religious practices tantra teaches that in order to awaken this higher state of consciousness one must be allowed and even encouraged  to FULLY EMBRACE ALL of Life. 

Through the Looking Glass: Past Lives, Present Journeys

I crossed a stone bridge in the mist and as I came to the other side I was transported into a life I once knew. Gazing down at my feet I saw beautiful gold threads wrapping around them but no shoes. I knew I was a woman. I felt young, happy, and light bodied. Full of energy and love.

I was in love!

I looked around the room, it was just incredible, full of rich colors, reds, gold, browns, many intricate designs embroidered on the materials and lots of sheer curtains. A smell of incense in the air. A large grey beast sat in the middle of my room. It was not an elephant, but large. I never paid attention to its face, although I know it had a head dress on of some sort. At first thought I must be in India or perhaps a similar culture.

 I was dancing around in circles.

Joyously.

I had such beautiful long dark hair and there were all these veils of color hanging from my head. My skirt was beautiful, the colors and design swirled around me in a cosmic dance of fashion.

 I danced and danced.

 

Without conscious thought, I was transported to the scene of my death. A large man with rippling muscles stood beside where I lay. As I looked up into his face I could bearly see his eyes for the strange headdress. He was holding my arms above my head firmly, I felt another holding my legs down. I was laying upon some sort of rock/stone alter. There this “high priest” (I am assuming) with a wooden staff that had feathers and beads hanging from it said something about my sacrifice.

Emotions were running wild at this point. I could feel the anxiety in my heart. Why had I wanted this? What was I doing? Was is right? Was it really for a higher purpose or for not?

I was still young and in love.

 I recall the damn love. Damning it for the pain I was feeling. The loss I would once again feel. I gazed out over this vast, lush, beautiful green valley where my people stand below. It was a tropical forest created by the hands of the Gods. It was my death place. Looking out into the crowd, tears in my eyes I found the returning look my heart was longing for. Locking in on a young man, incredibly handsome. Dark beautiful skin, muscles toned perfectly, black shiny hair down to his shoulders. He smiled at me and my heart returned the smile as well as my face.

As the smile lifted my soul to the heavens I was quickly reminded of the pain that we can expereince in this realm; a sharp burning sensation below my ribs took over my consciousness….

As though time did not exist I found myself floating above my people. Over my lovers head, looking back from my aerial view I could see a stone pyramid shaped temple. Steps leading up to where I had just died. I heard cheering and then was whisked away and began to come back to an awake state of being in current “reality.”

“Perhaps expereince is the driving force that brings us back. Or perhaps learning something begets the desire to learn more, and learning more begets the desire to learn everything there is to know.” – P.S. Berg, Wheels of a Soul

Our past lives have a way of bringing us valuable lessons in times we least expect it. And with each visit of a past life we will re-learn a lesson and also be invited to awaken to another. This was the exact case for me during my Sacred Voyage to Maui. Little did I expect to be visited by the above past life regression.  Years ago I had done massive regression work to release my bondage to certain fears and discover the meaning of some important relationships in this current life that I knew had carried their energies from past. This particular regression opened up some interesting insights; from a fear of dancing to the saga of loosing love that seems to have rippled through lifetimes.

Maui brought home the fact that I was not yet done learning and releasing from this above life.

The morning was fresh when we decided it was time to journey away to the first of many sacred vortexes. As Greg “Magick” Bernstein and I drove down the pot hole filled road he looked at me and shared that the sight he was being guided to take me he had not taken anyone for many a year. Uncertain as to why he was being guided to do so, he shared some of the history of the sight. Known as the Temple Gathering Place of the High Supernatural’s, this was the site where the last human sacrifice of Maui was done.

 

However before we venture into the realm of sacrifice and worship, we must first prepare our physical beings. Protection, Appreciation, Understanding, and Honor. These things he would cover with me in Iao Valley Park. There beneath the trees, beside the running river of time, we sat and talked. Among the tales shared was one perfect for the birthing of the adventure at hand. One that not even Magick knew as of yet.

 

 

“Once there was a couple who sat and watched a cat in the weeds and flowers. The woman said, ‘Oh, look honey, the cat is smelling the flowers.’ The man looked over to the cat and said, ‘He is not smelling the flowers, he is peeing on them.’ The woman said,’ Well that is not how I see it in my reality!” (Story adapted from the one Greg shared)

Two different realities.

 Providing spiritual clarity as to why he was guiding to this temple, I shared my above regression.

 

Once we were prepared we ventured off to the temple. At our arrival the gates were closed. Magick looked at me and asked me to sense if we were to continue or not. It was my intuitive call.  I called out to spirit and was told to move forward. As I crossed through the gates my heart began to hurt. It quickly became unbearable, almost as though it was being ripped out of my chest. As we rounded a curve on the path my eyes set out on the remains of two adjoining temples that commanded a view that when build I am sure was spectacular. Stepped stones that towered above a below stream almost covered in overgrowth, this pyramid like sacrificial mound took in the view of ocean, valley and high country. The energy that released from its blood soiled ground was strangely peaceful and even calming to my being although my heart chakra did not stop vibrating with its intensity until I found my meditation place. Here looking back at the sacrificial site from a vista point of stepped stonework I sat. Back to the sun, breathing in the universe and allowing the four winds to dance with my ethereal being. As my soul danced and listened I heard the call of spirit. Particularly the call of Snake.

There in front of me grew a bush up through the ancient stones. Upon it was a small white pod of sorts. It sorta looked like a wishing weed. Spirit was asking me to take one and eat it. I argued with spirit out of fear, out of doubt. “How crazy to hear spirit telling me to eat some strange plant at a death site. Yeah most likely not the best of all ideas.” But with each argument the winds would blast me from different directions, pressing themselves into me and the vision of snakes within the stones would grow stronger. Spirit was speaking! Loud too.

Finally I asked permission from land and plant to pick the small pod flower. However chose not to eat it. Asking spirit if I had to, I was answered with a vision. The vision was of a dark cave, rocks, fallen trees, moss and tall grasses. I had no idea as to where this was so asked Spirit to share this vision with my guide, Magick.

Through time and space our many lives ripple into each other.

Even science is starting to realize that what we believe is our reality,

more than likely is nothing more than an illusion. Through the awareness

of our previous lives and the lessons that we still need to learn from them

and the strengths that we can harvest, we can not only advance our own

growth and light energy but also our healing. As we heal, accept and learn

to value those things that we in times before thought limiting or nonsense

we too can learn to love and share more freely in this life; creating more positive

manifestations for our current reality.

 

Through the looking glass of time, I was blessed with a beautiful opportunity to face

my fears, my doubts and my heart. Here at the sacred site of death, I sacrificed my old

self for the birth of a new reality. One where, my heart would no longer carry the fear

it had for so many life times but instead would call out to the heavens and LEAD my

current incarnation. There is only so much wisdom we are allowed to gather at one

given time, and with each drop of this wisdom we must always realize that the birthing

of our new reality will not come without first a death… Here is where we must have

CERTAINTY and KNOW that we are not alone. Perhaps we cannot see all that is to

come to pass with each choice we make, however the Creator can!

 

“Even the wisest cannot tell that a mirror shows many things. Things that were, things that are and things that have not come to pass.” (Galadriel, Lord of the Rings)