WOMEN WHO ARE BAD IN BED SHOW SIMILAR SIGNS.

WOMEN WHO ARE BAD IN BED SHOW SIMILAR SIGNS.

Sex is fucking fun to me.
If with the right person that is.
I can be really fun and adventurous in bed and I can be boring as well.
It really depends on how into the person I am,
if I am caught up in my head,
if I can trust the person I am having sex with and to what level,
if I feel like they can handle all aspects of me.
and of course the chemistry, the connection, that energetic spark.
If it is there then I am more than likely going to be far more “fun” than if I am trying to create a spark that is not really there for whatever reason,
like seeing how great a guy is or how awesome a catch he is but not having that natural primal spark.

When I have all the stars aligned,
and am with someone then it’s certainly adventurous and playful,
There is communication happening from body to voice and desires are shared and asked for.

Which I have found not a ton of men expereince in sex with women.
I have been told repeatedly by just a few hands full of men,
lol… we are not getting into my body count today.
That I make sex extra enjoyable.
That my partner can feel me fully with them.

So I decided to start to inquire with my current and past lovers about this topic to get a greater depth,
wanting to know what it is about my sexing and relating style that keeps guys hooked for decades and knocking at my door to see if I am open to more with them. What has landed me with many men wanting to commit so eagerly?

Here is what I came up with:

WHEN I AM INTO A MAN I TURN UP MY KISSING –
I have been told that I am a bad kisser by a few guys over the years, or meh kisser, nothing special and I have been told that I made a guy cum just from a kiss and left mystery and desire with a kiss. The difference that I have figured out is my openness to the man and my attraction to him, my desire for him. If I am not feeling it then I am a shitty kisser, and if I am feeling it then get ready for mind blowing. I believe that this is true for many people of both sexes however. Then there are the people who are just crappy kissers in general, they have no rhythm, they show no passion, they do not know how to get fully engaged in a kiss. An old lover/friend of mine who is from the UK always has told me that I understand snogging, (kissing with intent). I believe that this is a key secret to mind blowing kissing, can you make your partner feel as though you are ravishing them in bed just by kissing them? Women who suck in bed cannot.

I LET MY LOVER KNOW WHAT I WANT IN BED NON-VERBALLY PRETTY GOOD… AND IF HE DOES NOT GET IT I SPEAK IT!
When I have good or great chemistry with someone then our non-verbal communication is on point. I have learned and have pretty much always been that woman who is not afraid to take a man’s hand or cock and put them right where I want, let alone wrap myself however feels best to me and grind how I desire. Recently an old lover/friend of mine said to me, “You know you are a switch.” For those of you who are not familiar with this term it means that I switch from dominant to submissive in sex. And yes I am just that. I love a good power play in bed. It also requires one to have pretty good non-vevrbal communication skills and a sense of playfulness and confidence.

Women who are bad in bed have trouble communicating verbally and nonverbally. They fumble and feel insecure, often presenting a rag doll or limp noodle version of themselves because they are uncertain as to how or what to do. Women who cannot communicate non-verbally in bed are not good at increasing sexual tension through their eye contact, body language, breathing and actions. I have found that non-verbal communication in bed is a great sign as to how good chemistry and energetic connection is with a partner. One of my longest sexual relationships would always share with me that he loved how our bodies engaged and I always moved with him in perfect rhythm.

I AM EXTREMELY VERBAL ABOUT MY SEXING AND DESIRES, PAST, PRESENT AND WANTING FOR THE FUTURE.

I read awhile back about a study done about women who could not talk about sex opennly and how that related to their sexual confidence. It was stated that open relating about sex showed a persons comfort with their sexuality and desires. Which would also lead to a sign that someone is more likely to be fun and tuned into sex better. I have heard from many men over the course of the years how they wish women would share more about what they want, need and desire sexually and how so many women shut down around actual communication or questioning. Funny how us ladies will talk to our girl friends about what is happening in the bedroom but we won’t talk to the people we are actually having sex with in such candid fashion. Women who talk about sex are more confident in bed. Not to mention sex is just better if you can get a little vocal and not freak the fuck out about someone hearing you or what anyone thinks.

I LOVE BEING NAKED AS WELL AS CLOTHED.
Sexual confidence can be seen outside of the bedroom and it is not just about nudity, however it certainly can show up here most because women in general have a massive amount of body images. Self included. But can you let go of the insecurities that you have and surrender to the moment. Can you learn to truly love yourself no matter your imperfections. A woman who shows signs of insecurity in other areas of her life will more than likely have insecurities in the bedroom. If she is struggling with money, health, body, feeling worthy or lovable, then you will see this come out in her sexing as well. She will struggle to drop down and be able to connect at any real level. Your sexing will feel shallow with her, making for a poor lover.

I LOVE AN ADVENTURE.
Adventurous women are sexually fun women I believe and so I have been told by men. Just the other day a man looked at me and said, ” You are one of those fun women.” This was said after we had shared a deeply profound and passion driven few hours together without any sex. When we are open to experimenting, to play and adventure in our lives we are more likely to explore in the bedroom as well. Having sex in the same manor all the time, getting into the same routine or not being open to oral sex, exploration of any sort shows a person who is boring in bed. Women are more known to shut this arena down then men, making for a dimmer sex life.

SEX IS ABOUT HUMOR AS WELL AS PASSION.

I laugh a lot in sex. I laugh about the very human things that can take place such as queefing, passing gas, burping, sweating and accidents that cause things to break like your bed or a lamp. When I have had a few orgasms I get a real high and laughter rolls from me easily in my sex, I giggle like a school girl as I am cumming sometimes and may throw myself into a sneezing fit, I have been known to cough or sneeze my partner right out of my body as well as squirt so much female ejaculate that the whole bed had to be replaced ( that happened for reals in Mexico one time). Sex is messy. There is no space for OCD, there is no space for fear of being human, and there is no space in good sex for insecurities around sex related humor. I am very serious when I say if your woman is playful then you are more than likely going to have fun in bed, if she is overly caught up in fear of being seen or making a mistake then you will most likely not be happy in bed with her.

A woman who is passionate about life will be more likely to show passion in bed as well.
If your woman is lost in life and uncertain about who she is or her life purpose, then she will show this in bed too and be uncertain and cautious with her passion. She may even not be able to feel passion in sex as it is such a foregin things for her.

WHAT YOU EAT YOUR PARTNER CONSUMES TOO.

Diet and exercise. OMFG! Don’t get me started. This is vitally important and I cannot image sex with a woman who does not take care of her diet and exercise being very pleasent let a lone good. To put it simply, why would you ever expect your man to desire you sexually if your pH is all sorts of out of whack, making your vaginal juices and body odor to breath nasty. What we eat plays such a big role in our sex and as I just recenlt told one man, ” Clean eating is sexy.” Our diets say a lot about our overall health, emotional and mental as well and physical. Eating healthy helps to stabilize hormones and guarantees a healthy gut which is where 80% of our immune system comes from. Eating shit foods causes yeast infections, bacterial infections and more. Not fun for sexing for sure. And exercise provides us with the ability to have better stamina and flexibility, so that we can comfortably maintain a playful moment with our partner.
Women who disregaurd their health for whatever reason are uncaring of their sex as well.
An older lover of mine would often say to me that I had a pampered pussy. When I asked what he meant by this he shared that he loved going down on me because he knew how I pampered her with my diet choices, hygiene and exercise for my whole body as well as my vaginal exercises that I consistently do. He made it clear that he loved what he was enjoying and he shared it was not normal.

I have heard from many men over the years that they are fearful of going down on a woman because of hygiene and bodily smells and tastes. This applies to men as well, no fun for us ladies if you guys are not conscientious. Clean eating is fucking sexy!

Okay, so there is my little share from what I have learned from current and past lovers.

Everything shared here pertains to men as well.
A man who is good in bed will be aware of these things as well.
Where a man who is not good in his sexing and does not have the consciousness to be aware of these things will prove to have all the same challenges that a woman does who sucks in bed.

Making your sex life gourmet has more to do with your confidence, ability to find humor in life and let things go, play and explore, be adventourous and knowi yourself as well as a desire to take care of yourself and communicate then it does with what you choose to wear, what your body figure is actually like, your age or how great you deem your physical skills.

A great lover knows that CONNECTION is primary,
COMMUNICATION is secondary,
and KNOWING YOURSELF AND LOVING YOURSELF is key.

How do you rate your sex?

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

October Asskickery Month is almost upon us.
Are you wanting to make some changes in your life, love or sex?
Want to take action but do not know where to start?
Need a swift kick to get what you want?
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YOU LOVE HER POWER BUT YOU FEAR IT AS WELL.

YOU LOVE HER POWER BUT YOU FEAR IT AS WELL.

 

The wild woman.

The seductress.

The lover.

Her beauty and mystery,

something that you desire to taste more of.

The way she moves,

the curl of her lips as she speaks.

You watch her every move wanting more.

She is free and open,

she laughs and plays as though she has an innocent heart,

but the fire in her eyes reveals a woman who knows herself,

a woman who was born to lead and command great army’s if need be.

You feel her power by just standing in her presence.

You feel her hunger when you come near.

She is wild and crazy,

she is untamable and unfiltered,

She is coy, collected and breathless.

 

And you want her.

You want to experience her touch,

her kiss, the smell of her soft skin.

You want to hold her gently as well passionately.

She tests your manliness,

she toys with your thoughts and energy.

She is deliberate.

And you know this.

But you want more.

 

Believing that you can hold her.

Believing that you can carry her.

Believing that you want nothing more than her radiant light to expand through all the heavens,

you cannot imagine a world without her beaming beauty and strength,

and yet you fear it.

 

Deep inside your being there is terror.

It is unsettling and true.

You do not feel worthy of her,

you question if you are strong enough.

She rattles your inner most cages and shakes you to your soul,

can you conquer this greatness of the wild woman,

and do you even truly want to?

 

Will she let you penetrate her soul?

Or will you just be among the many who have tried and only fell by entering her body?

 

You want to be the one.

You desire her so.

You want to be the one that takes her breath away,

the way she does yours.

 

And so you try….

you stand firm in her fires,

you open yourself to utter destruction.

You know that you love her,

and feel confident if just for this moment in time that you can hold strong and breathe her in and hold her.

But the wilderness of the wild woman’s soul is not to be captured nor contained by any.

She was born free and free she must remain.

She is a goddess,

she is a witch,

she is a siren,

and a Queen.

She knows her power and will allow for it only to be pushed down for so long,

and then you will feel her rise once again and claim her rightful throne,

and under her foot will fall many.

All those who wanted to own her,

to conquer and control.

These are the boys who thought they were men.

These are the men who thought they were kings.

But they shunned her light as they spoke sweet words of love.

They harnessed her joy as they held her tight in their insecurities.

They jailed her passion, her sensualness and power with their jealousy and fear.

And she allowed them.

She let them rule her for a time,

in hope that she could be happy.

Here in the misery of her weakened state,

her shadow.

 

She is a wild woman.

And in her beauty you will be lost,

you will desire and crave,

you will want for her light to never dim,

but will you be like all the rest who have fallen?

Claiming her as your own.

Trapping her power.

Wanting it all for yourself.

As if it were something that you could take or understand.

 

Far from average she is.

She was never meant to be tamed.

There is no domesticating a wild woman,

you would be wiser to destroy the most beautiful of stain glass windows, then to try.

If you love her let her remain free.

In spirit.

In power.

In love.

Watch her dance for you as she will.

She will make you laugh and feel full in her intoxicating ways.

Let her move you as only the wild can.

But never,  never hold on too tight.

Or know that her light may be put out with your hand.

 

Delicate and strong,

the wilderness will always call her.

She is a wild woman,

and you are but a man.

 

————————————————————————–

To all my beautiful wild women out there.

You know who you are. 🙂

My sisters you are deserving of kings,

enjoy all the men that you want,

but never settle for a throne that is not yours.

 

Hold your power and joy before you.

Feel into your hearts and pussies for answers,

ignore the trumpting judgments of those who do not see your truth and radiance,

they are blinded by the shadows of their own fear.

 

You are a wild woman and always will remain.

Open yourself to the universe,

open yourself once again to the gift of receiving.

It is here in your womb that you know your truth.

Listen with your heart of the wild.

 

Now run forward my fellow Queen.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

What are you waiting for my love?

Let’s get you your power back.

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PHOTO CREDIT @DANDELION iMAGES

I FUCKING LOVE MEN!

I FUCKING LOVE MEN!
I do.
I always have,
Always will.
No matter how they bring my heart pain sometimes,
To me men are amazing in so many ways.
Everywhere, from a man who knows truly how to touch a woman,
Deeper then the flesh,
To the soul.
Letting her feel his heart,
To a man’s ability to lead.
To direct and see the pathways needed to solve a challenge.
Men are truly wonderful.
When they are conscious.
When they are confident.
When they are open and playful.
When they know thier worth,
When they allow themselves to be true to themselves.
Men are wonderful.
This week has been filled with so many yummy men for me.
I have had the pleasure of dancing in at least a dozen men’s masculine light,
Feeling thier joy, their fear, their pain and desire.
And in spending these moments with these men,
My heart expands.
My desire grows to be penetrated deeply by the masculine.
I am not referring to sexual penetration here,
Although that’s awesome as well.
But what I am speaking of is the deep heart penetration that a man can offer a woman in his surrender to himself.
That revealing he can gift a woman with when he drops his guards and trusts, if just for a moment in time her presence.
Allowing himself to be grounded there with her.
Giving himself permission to breathe and recieve her light.
Yes this is the deep penetration that I desire to expand,
And this week has gifted me with quiet a few moments that ignite this desire.
This week has offered me just this level of depth with the masculine and it makes me crave more.
To witness the playful heart of a man as he steps himself into feeling his turn on,
As he embraces his love for what appears to be just out of reach.
To listen to the divine masculine speak its truth about his pain of not being enough,
About not feeling appreciated,
And his truth in his desire for so much more in life.
To feel the juiciest of his passion,
His hunger to conquer and be seen fully.
This is the masculine I love deeply.
This is the masculine that arouses me at a soul level and has me craving.
I fucking love men.
When they are actually men.
Because you see a man who is all of this yumminess,
Is a man that drops me into surrender.
A man who can conquer me in the moment of passion because he knows how to penetrate me not just enter me.
And THIS is rare.
Most men enter a woman and believe that’s penetration.
And then wonder why thier woman will not soften or surrender.
Why she will not TRUST him.
Or let herself fully be seen and expressed.
But I tell you,
Its because he has not learned how to truly penetrate.
Not his woman.
Not his purpose.
Not this world.
And means he has no clue of what it means to be a man.
A conscious, dynamic, powerful man.
He is eternally stuck in boyhood.
Playing the victim in his life.
Blaming and feeling jealous.
Anxious and uncomfortable with his heart.
When a man discovers his worthiness and learns to truly love himself,
This all changes however.
And this is the masculine I love.
This is the masculine who turns my soul on.
Men are wonderful.
Men are so desirable.
Men when they are conscious and mature,
When they know how to play and make love to life,
Are the divine masculine.
The healing agent.
The leaders and fathers,
The lovers and protectors,
That our world so desperately needs.
I fucking love men.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “
Are you a man who wants to ignite and penetrate the feminine and this world like I shared above but have little idea as to how to do this?
Reach out now and let’s discuss 1:1 opportunities now.

THE ABSENCE OF WHO I AM, REALLY SUCKS!

THE ABSENCE OF WHO I AM, REALLY SUCKS! 🤯🤯🤯

 

Hating on self?

Or maybe you say that you don’t hate yourself.

You don’t dislike yourself even,

you are just frustrated.

Irritated.

Down on self because you are not feeling great in your skin.

 

And I get it.

I truly do.

We all go through these times.

 

And hey here is a little secret for you….🤫

I am currently in one of those moments in life where I am a bit down on myself. I am not in this moment in love with my body.

I am not in love with how I am feeling in my own skin,

and I am having issues looking myself in the mirror.

and even feeling sexy.

 

I sorta feel a bit grossed out by myself.

The way I got here is not really important.

And that is a tough concept to get through our human minds,

because we want to have our reasons, we want to analyze and figure out the reason behind the problem.

But that will never get the solving that we desire of the problem.

Because we are stating that we have a problem to begin with instead of just letting go of all this self-judgement and turning back to our truth.

Now it is important to be aware of habit changes,

of sabotaging thing that we have introduced into our lives,

into our thoughts and emotions,

that may be contributing to the support of this self-disgust.

The reality is that you can say that you love yourself all damn day long but if you are not loving your body enough to get it moving and consuming healthy foods, staying hydrated and getting enough sleep,

plus if you are choosing to stay in toxic relationship that are not feeding your heart and soul,

and you are not leaning into YOU…

then you simply are lieing your f-cking ass off to yourself about loving yourself.

 

You have to fall in love with yourself.

You have to own up to your power and stop making yourself so damn small.

Stop fearing the impressive, expansive person that YOU ARE.

 

And that my love is why you are so full of this yuckiness to yourself.

👉The reason that you don’t like yourself is because you’re not up to speed with yourself. 🛸🤯💃

 

You got that love?

YOU WERE BORN TO BE MARVELOUS.

You were created powerful, worthy and came into this world knowing such,

but it got stolen from you by the “good” lessons that your parents and the adults in your life taught you,

what society and school/church showed you,

and you started to believe that you were not powerful, worthy and abundant.

 

You started to believe that your light was dim.

and this means that you let go of being marvelous.

And that my dear was YOU.

 

So now the absence of you, really sucks!

It really does not have you feeling your best.

You are struggling to look into the mirror or make eye contact.

You are feeling frumpy and negative,

hating on your fleshy suit and hating on who you have allowed yourself to become.

 

When the answer to your problem…

if you want to call it that…

cause us humans love to solve problems, right?

 

Is that the reason that you are not liking yourself,

let alone in love with yourself ( an me too here),

is because you’re not ALLOWING yourself to be yourself.

You have cast your truth out.

 

And you sit back in your disgust over who you are right now,

and you maintain powerful focus on what needs to change, needs fixed, where you f-cked it all up at.

 

The worst thing that you can do though is just this.

Holding yourself in focus and finding a critical thought about you.

Because that action,

that manifestation that you are creating,

 

TAKES YOU AWAY FROM WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

 

And you are powerful AF!

You are deserving.

You are beautiful and strong.

You are courageous and loving.

You are intuitive and caring.

You are worthy and abundant.

 

That is who you are.

That is what you are to be living, RIGHT NOW!

 

And it is up to only you love to take yourself from this absence of self and get the f-ck lined back up.

Synchronize to your TRUTH.

YOUR SOUL.

 

GOD.

Here is where you will fall in love with you and become mesmerized by staring into your own eyes,

lost in the sea of you.

You will be captivated at your heart and your beauty and you will not just think that you are worthy,

you will KNOW without a doubt that you are,

because your soul knows.

Your souls never has questioned your worthiness or your power.

That is why you are feeling so bad love,

because you are questioning what your soul deeply is certain of.

 

And when you come back to YOU and who YOU REALLY ARE,

well that is when whatever the problems you are having with your body and life right now, will just wash away with ease.

 

Time to start loving on the most important person in your world wouldn’t you say?

 

And STOP trying to be all this or that for everyone else that is not you.

 

With all my love, beautiful.

Remember Who You Are.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to know more about living an abundant life?

Want to know the secrets to overcoming these little obstacles that can turn into mountains if left in the corners of our minds and rustling around in our energy? Reach out to me about my Asskickery Month of Private 1:1 Global Coaching now, where I will share with you how to overcome and have success in one subject area of your life in the next 4 to 6 weeks.

CAN WE JUST F-CKING STOP WITH BEAUTIFUL.

CAN WE JUST F-CKING STOP WITH BEAUTIFUL.

Seriously,

you say that word so often I do not think it is achieving the results that you think it is achieving.

 

On any day of the week,

I get the comment of “Beautiful” at least ten times from random people ( mostly men) who want to share it with me.

 

And the reality is this,

The statement of “Beautiful.”

Is a surface AF statement.

It will get you nowhere in a hurry with a woman who values herself,

who understands that her true beauty is not something you appreciate just from her skin that is barred or the clothes that she has on,

it has nothing to do with the smile on her face,

or if she is nice to you.

Beauty is something so much deeper.

It comes from a place of knowing oneself.

Of loving oneself,

even the shadow lands of our character.

Beauty comes from feeling good in our own skin,

and when someone over uses such a compliment,

it actually starts to rub raw,

and cause you to not take in the compliment.

 

Every human being NEEDS to have words of affirmation.

Every human being needs to learn how to breathe into compliments and own their worth,

but surface AF statement that are easy to say and show that you know NOTHING about the person,

are not anything to sport about saying.

 

Especially with a woman.

 

SO this musing is going out to all you gents who tell me and other amazing AF powerful women that you find us BEAUTIFUL.

 

That you would love to show us what you can do with your whatever you desire to touch and taste us with,

That you love how our hair looks,

our clothes fit us,

or the angle we opted to take a picture from.

 

Yeah those comments that you believe will land you in our panties and hearts,

HA! We think not.

 

For a true compliment is spoken from a place of presence,

it is stated about a person’s depth and light.

A compliment that makes you stand out in the crowd of all those fools who think that some cartoon dog blowing random AF kisses, or I love you’s is going to get somewhere other than an eye roll and quickening in our scroll,

if you truly desire to make an impression…

 

THEN SLOW THE F-CK DOWN….

and pay some attention.

 

You need to actually listen,

watch and read,

you need to make statements that show that you were into what that person was sharing,

you need to let yourself absorb who you are watching,

and not from a place where she gets me off to watch.

 

This also applies to anyone who is taking a woman to bed,

if you are so lucky to have her open herself to you,

then remember this….

 

You can leave a good impression,

a bad impression ,

or a F-cking Spectacular impression.

 

The choice is yours.

And it all comes down to how you slow the f-ck down and get present with her.

 

If you think you know a woman,

and how to f-ck her wide open,

awesome…. but I question your cockiness.

Because I know women,

and we bore easily and rarely want to hurt your delicate ego’s, so we let you believe that you know,

and then roll our eyes and share our frustrations with our friends about how clueless you are,

and how surface AF our sex is with you.

 

A woman who loves herself and knows her value,

will not keep around a man or partner for any amount of real time who cannot prove that they can go deep with her.

If our partner is not willing to slow the f-ck down and value us the way that we know we should be,

then “bye, bye… don’t let the door hit you on your way out of my life.”

 

A woman who keeps a surface level lover around,

is a woman who does not know herself yet and has not learned her value.

 

The facts are simple and they start with how we relate outside the bedroom.

 

Ladies if you feel all fluttery and excited about that want to be average joe who said beautiful on one of your pictures,

then I question how much love you have for self.

Because that man… that man is a little boy who has not learned how to be with a woman yet and cannot handle his own depth or the light that you have to offer.

 

And gents,

if you are one of these dudes that offer up easy to spell one word comments, but then turn around and ask a woman a question that you already have access to the answer of…

 

(by taking the time in our social media world… and I mean like maybe 2 minutes of time….you can discover how old someone is, where they are from or live, if they are single or coupled, open or not, kids, what they do and even their likes)

 

THEN JUST F-CKING STOP ALREADY.

 

Your words are wasted on those of us who value ourselves.

 

We do not need your statements of beautiful or what you desire to do to us or with us,

we laugh at you,

we shake our heads at your silliness and we keep scrolling.

You don’t have a chance,

so go find someone who may better suit you.

 

There is someone for everyone,

or so they say.

 

But I,

I am not the one who will fall prey to your mediocre compliments with no depth or care.

 

Just like all the other queens out there who get what I am sharing here in this musing today.

 

Level up your relating guys!

Level up who you are.

You want to attract a MF Queen….

Then you cannot just pretend to play King….

You gotta be one.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn how to attract your Queen?

Want to know what it means to be a King in life and relationships.

It’s a vibrational thing baby.

It’s about embracing your worthiness and loving yourself.

male or female,

This is where our power comes from.

 

Let me share with you the journey to THRIVING.

F-ck Yes!

Message me for deet’s.

The Feminine Carries Wounds For A Lifetime.

Some wounds never heal for a woman.

 

I have learned through the course of my 44 years on this planet thus far and who know how many lifetimes before ( if that’s even a thing) that some wounds live with us and carry forward no matter how we try to mask, hide, forget or “heal” them.

 

They are markings on our vessel that serve a purpose that we are to never fully turn away from.

And as a woman, I feel that the feminine perhaps emotionalizes and carries them even deeper than the masculine can ever comprehend.

 

Around the topics of love, sex and children,

we discover the potential for some of the most significant wounds.

And I believe that because a woman feels life move through herself in all of these areas that when a wound occurs here that it impacts deeper and on all fronts of her experience.

 

Think about it….

Sex happens inside a woman’s body.

When you have sex with a woman,

you are INSIDE her body.

You are actually inside another human being in these moments,

and inorder for her to enjoy the moment then she must not be in her mind,

but be able to surrender emotionally, mentally and physically to the experience.

Sex is an external expereince for a man for the most part.

Sure men have heart in it,

and the best lovers come from this space not just from their genitals,

but still sex is happening outside of the mans physical body, creating a certain level of detachment to the process.

Where for a woman,

it is the opposite. It is happening inside her actual body. She must open her body to her partner and in order for her to not be harmed she must trust that her partner will be present and honor that space of her being as well as her heart.

 

This is why, rape or anything in its nature is not just a physical act that can be physically healed through. It is far more impactful than that. It is mental/psychological and emotional.

And the repercussions are life long for many in these areas. It is something that will bear with it body memory FOREVER.

 

If we look at love, here too a woman goes deep. She loves with her whole being and she opens herself from this complete state. She is not just loving, ( when it is pure and real) from a place of mind or body. It is not a place of logic. It is the whole being. And when a woman enters into love from this space she melts into the relationship, she becomes one with her partner and she surrenders her fears, her doubts, her pain and armour. She puts it all down and opens herself to being conquered by her man.

Here she is truly vulnerable and knows that he can do great damage if he turns away or chooses to not stand strong in their love. But she enters love anyway.

This is a space that if wounds occur,

they never fully heal.

They remain with a a scar, a void underneath her shield for her lifetime,

always tugging,

always craving for what was had and then lost.

 

 

If a woman becomes a mother,

no matter the time that she is one,

She has forever surrendered to this new state of understanding about self and life.

Many women become mothers but are not with children.

Many women believe that these moments that they carried a child ( may it be weeks, months or years) that in the loss, whether chosen or not, that the impact can be overstepped and forgotten.

But once experienced they have to surrender their deepest heart to the truth that it will forever be carried with them.

The deepest of losses.

Men again have heart here,

feel loss here,

but cannot ever fully understand the impact emotionally, physically or mentally that it can have on a woman,

and the disconnect that occurs at this loss between the woman and her very soul and body.

 

Again this is because it is internal for the feminine and external for the masculine.

A man is told about what he helped create but he does not breathe each day of creation in the true essence and feeling of shared space with another soul 24/7. He does not experience the hormonal responses, the emotional tolls or the physical labor of the event.

And if that child is lost,

he can never comprehend the impact of the mind/body/heart or soul that it takes on the feminine,

because he is detached to the external experience.

 

All three of these wounds:

sex-love-children

 

All three of these experiences awaken and shut down the very heart of a woman.

They are life altering.

Personality shifting.

From a cellular level they forever change who the woman is and how she chooses to walk through life.

They have the potential to make her blossom,

or implode.

Not one of these life experiences can ever be fully healed or forgotten.

 

Many women experience all three wounds.

Many women do not pay proper honor to these transformation points but in turn shame, guilt and blame themselves for them.

The self-hatred and disgust that is often lived in for a lifetime to follow,

prevents the feminine from ever fully receiving herself again, and she walks through life fearing and doubting her truth.

It is difficult to get a woman who has experienced these wounds to ever set her armour fully down again and trust.

 

And if she does choose to do so,

she is quick to grab her sword and shield at the slightest sign of trouble.

She forever will walk on eggshells within herself, knowing how fragile she truly is.

 

And yet the answer is to trust herself and learn to love herself fully again,

despite the pain that she carries,

knowing our courage and strength as a woman is where we can once again enter into love with self and trust with God.

 

From this feminine heart to yours,

I feel your pain and fear,

I have walked all these wounded paths before,

and I speak today to you beautiful women of the world from that place of not healed,

but a knowing that in our honor of self that we find our breath,

we discover our life again,

and we live.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Loving

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ladies it’s time to own your power and learn to love again.

Love self again.

Honor self and live your F-ck Yes Life Now!

Reach out to me for my ladies only coaching opportunities now.

 

It Takes Courage To Have An Authentic Relationship.

IT TAKES COURAGE TO HAVE AN AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIP.

 

I have this belief that ALL…

Yes ALL people who are in an intimate relationship with another need to go through the inquiry and inner work as well and relating work  that those who have successful open relationships do.

 

I believe that no matter how you label your relationship,

that you should explore authentic relating for what it really means.

 

Most monogamous couples “think” they know each other.

“Think” they love each other unconditionally.

“Think” they are best friends and trust each other.

“Think” they are doing it right and will have success.

 

Most people who decide to open up their relationships choose to do so at a low period in their primary relationship and “think” that opening up will fix something.

“Think” that you can just overnight shift gears and that this thing called inner work and couples work to set agreements, learn each other and communicate are not needed.

That you can go zero to 100 overnight so to speak.

 

Both cases are detrimental to the relationship.

And it’s because the number one issue in relationships is communication.

 

And I am sure you may be among the many who believes that you communicate well with your partner.

You may think that you got this fully taken care of ,

but I ask you, is this true?

 

98% of couples that I have worked with over the last 15+ years come in telling me that they are good if not great communicators,

that their partner is their bestie and they can tell them anything.

But not three sessions into coaching and the truth is discovered.

 

They suck at communication.

Because they keep it at a surface level.

There is no depth in relating.

And if they touch on depth,

it causes confrontation,

triggers old wounds and fears,

and both parties end up dancing in their ego’s and speaking from their pain bodies instead of their heart centers.

 

So they avoid it.

They shut their truth down,

they tell their partners a softer version or nothing at all,

and they hide the best they can from themselves for as long as they can as to not rock the perfect picture of a loving connected relationship that they are wanting to paint.

 

When the hard fact is that they have challenges.

 

It takes courage to speak up in a relationship.

It takes courage to be real in a relationship.

It takes courage to listen without trying to change, control or freak out about what might be being shared in a relationship.

It takes courage to remain stable inside yourself when living authentically with another.

And it takes courage to be raw and real with yourself so you can do all the above.

 

But f-ck is it worth it,

just like you are worth it and so is your relationship.

 

You see, if you are among the many who are not operating at this level of authentic relationship but desire open communication, unconditional love, acceptance, honesty and truth in the relationship and from your partner,

then how is it ever going to be possible if you live hiding from yourself and basing your feelings and actions in fear of losing your partner?

 

If you are making your partner responsible for your happiness and worthiness then how can they ever just be themselves and state their truth to you?

 

If you are holding expectations as to what they need to do, how they need to act then how can they share their truth with you about anything that may pose a difficult conversation? And how is this unconditional love?

 

If you define yourself based on your relationship,

which simply means you are not strong in WHO YOU ARE,

then how can you be truthful with another?

 

To be authentic, truthful and honest with another you first must KNOW YOURSELF and be strong at your core so you are not rocked by another.

 

Remember that humans are fickle.

We ebb and flow,

we all are live waves in our feelings, emotions, thoughts and that we get caught in our wounds as well as our desires.

 

In authentic relating we understand that

there is your business,

there is my business,

and there is God’s business,

and that we each are ONLY RESPONSIBLE for one of those.

Anything else is sticking our noses where they are not needed.

 

The most unconditional loving person is the person who knows themselves, loves themselves first, and can embrace their shadow self as well as their glorious light.

They know their worth and it is not dependent on any outside source.

 

This is a person who can love deeply and unconditionally.

This is a person who can truly be honest and real.

This is a person who is self-empowered and therefore has the ability to allow for their partner to grow, to speak, to change.

 

As it is so intended.

relationships need to evolve over time.

This means that both parties need to do the same.

 

Expecting ourselves, our partners or the relationship to remain the same,

causes stagnation to our individual growth and the evolution of our love and relationships.

This is the coward’s path.

And it typically results in two things:

*Unhappiness

*Relationship Failure

 

It takes courage to relate authentically.

It takes courage to relate in unconditional love.

It takes courage to catch our control issues in a relationship.

It takes courage to see our fear based actions, feelings and thoughts for what they are… fear of our own inadequacies, fear of our worthiness and lack of value, the lack of personal acceptance cast onto our partner, and fear of abandonment.

 

But when we stand in courage and face our truth,

love ourselves through our fears,

we open the gates to deep, penetrative love and acceptance with our partner.

 

And THIS….

THIS is what we all crave and desire.

 

You are worthy of this beauty.

You are worthy of this sort of love.

 

Offer it to yourself and your partner today,

by starting with seeing YOURSELF authentically and leaning into those difficult conversations.

 

Reach out to me if you want information on how to go about just this and more.

Learn authentic relating no matter your relationship title to create an evolved loving relationship that fits your soul’s path now.

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Thriving Requires You To View Life Like THIS.

A few years ago I was out at a local pub that my ex and I would pop into and have a drink. It sorta was his “Cheers” for anyone who can remember the show.

 

You know a place where everyone knows your name.

 

And I was sitting down enjoying a martini with a woman that my ex was friends with her and her husband for years prior.

We were chatting about all sorts of stuff, among which was professionalism.

 

She informed me that she could NEVER work with someone who had tattoos.

She went on to tell me that tattoos make you unclean.

And that only under educated people had them.

Her passion about the subject was powerful,

She certainly had a hatred toward tattoos and it sounded like she looked down on anyone with them no matter whom they were.

 

Yet she counted me as someone to go out to see Andrea Bocelli with,

to kick back and enjoy drinks and dinner with by the pool,

to share her relationship issues with,

and amazingly she even hugged me to say hello and goodbye.

 

In the midst of her deep sharing on her hatred and disgust toward people with tattoos and how unprofessional and unclean they were,

I sat there with my hands and arms on the table not inches in front of her,

baring both arms with….

 

You guessed it.

 

TATTOOS on them…

 

LOL.

Yeah, she was preaching her disgust to her friend.

I shared with her that I worked with many people who had tattoos, and she said yeah but those are people who need life coaching, help in life, not people who are professionals.

 

I laughed.

Because my clients have always been those who are professionals, business owners, CEO’s, doctor’s, attorney’s, poloticains, fellow coaches and therapists, etc.

 

Affluent people.

85% of my clients are in the upper 2% of America.

 

And guess what?

They have tattoos.

Many of them do.

 

When I shared this with her,

she huffed and said,

 

“Well, if I ever found out that my doctor had a tattoo he would not be my doctor anymore. I cannot have someone like that touching me.”

 

Yet she hugged me hello and goodbye.

Her logic made no sense.

 

As most critical, judgemental people who are caught up in

“it’s my way or no way, and you are stupid and need to shut up or be removed from humanity if you think, feel or act differently then I do, ” rationalize.

 

These same people will turn and point fingers and call everyone who is not caving to their beliefs and fears self-centered, bad citizens, using their privilege, elitists.

 

 

In my line of work I get hate from time to time.

And I actually am grateful for it,

because it shows me area’s that I can improve my own inner world. It also show’s me that I am speaking from a perspective that is not average and ordinary.

 

And that thrills me because I do not want an average and ordinary life,

Living a F-ck Yes! Life and changing others lives to having that as well requires you to not go with the attitude of average and ordinary.

 

There ain’t now THRIVING in average and ordinary.

There is not GREATNESS in it either.

 

My mission is to help ignite as many people to their power and worthiness and tap into their abundance and flow with God as I possibly can in my lifetime,

and this unfortunately stirs many of the ordinary thinkers and perceivers of life out there to want to strike me down for many reasons.

 

“You need to shut up because…”

“You are not professional because..”

“You are wrong because….”

“I can’t trust you because….”

“You are stupid because….”

 

From my typo’s to my purple or blue hair,

from my open relating and tattoos to my I don’t give a f-ck what you think and use of the “F” word,

my authentic relating drives average folk crazy mad that they cannot control it and that despite all my flaws and my typo’s and tattoos I am THRIVING in relationship, money, health and making a positive mark in this world because I CHOOSE to do so.

 

I write this today,

because at waking my thread was bombarded with my fellow coaches and leaders out there being under attack for all the above reasons and more.

The judgment and criticism spewing around in hatred is like a storm that has no way to settle,

and it is sad to me that so many people in the world right now are living with such disgust and rage in their heads and hearts that they find a need to try to tear down another just because of differences of views, desires, beliefs or even looks.

 

This kind of stinking thinking WILL NEVER solve any problems.

 

It will only keep the fires burning and cause more pain and suffering.

 

When we can come back to actual critical thinking,

using logic and heart in harmony,

viewing our fellow human as just that,

another human with their own dreams, desires, fears, beliefs and opinions,

and that, that is perfect,

that being human does not mean that we are all cookie cutter the same,

then we will be able to heal ourselves and our world at a deeper level.

 

Until then we remain blind to love.

Blind to healing.

Blind to true world or local community.

 

Until then we have lost our humanity,

and are slaves to our fear of difference.

 

Where are you at in your judgements of your fellow humans and how are you desiring to control those who are the same as you?

 

Can you imagine what life would be like and who you would actually be if you put down all your fear based thinking and just allowed yourself to be YOU?

 

This is your truth love.

 

And remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to stop your stinking thinking and claim your true power now?

Let’s chat. Message me for deet’s on how to get started.

Let’s Get Real About What Define The Relationship Really Means.

 

“I like you pretty good, let’s see where this goes.”

 

Maybe I have commitment issues some would say,

and I have been told this from past lovers.

They were convinced that because I refused to be labeled,

because I refused to DTR ( define the relationship) that I was not good with commitment.

 

They could not just accept my looks of love and desire for what they were.

They could not accept the sweet and tender vulnerable moments shared for what they were,

They could not just go with the passion shared and the hours and days or even weeks spent enthralled with each other.

 

No, they wanted the MF LABEL.

And for some reason, the label is what made everything real.

Not the actual effing relationship that was presenting itself each day, each moment.

No, they could not trust that.

They needed the words spoken,

just how they wanted to hear them too mind you,

for it to actually be real.

 

Nothing mattered but the label.

 

And because I am a person who understands what labels are actually about,

I have a really tough time getting down with defining any relationship for that matter.

 

And here is why.

 

You see labels and definitions of relationships have NOTHING to do with love or commitment for that matter.

 

They don’t have anything to do with trust either,

and they are not offering any more security for either party as well.

 

What they do is allow us to compartmentalize the relationship, cause separation because now we segregate this relationship from the rest of our lives.

 

Labels allow us to define what the relationship “should” look and feel like. How it “should” play out and what the expectations are within the pretty little box that we have put it into allows for.

 

Labels are often asked for because one party or both are wanting validation for their existence and level of importance in the relationship.

 

This validation gives a false sense of security.

Which makes the partners feel safe and believe that NOW since the relationship has been properly defined that neither party will step out of the box that it has been filed in.

 

And that is what DTR is all about folks.

Validation of self through another, false security and control.

 

Because with this DTR what we are wanting is the safety ultimately of knowing ( well believing) that our partner is now “OUR PROPERTY” as defined by the label provided.

And of course they are down with abiding by the rules of this definition.

 

Funny little note, most people just assume that other people’s definitions and rules of the label are exactly what their own are and never stop to discuss these important things with the person that they are trying to do a relationship with and get a label on.

 

In my opinion,

(and maybe…. just maybe… I have worked with just a few couples over the last few decades) that one of the major reasons so many couples are not satisfied or in full alignment with their partner is because they miss this vitally important conversation on the front side.

 

The conversation around, “Why do you do relationships? And what are your needs/desires/expectations within a relationship?”

 

Can you imagine if we started having these inquiries between ourselves and our lovers?

 

And what if….

what if our lovers answered authentically.

 

OMFG! That would be amazing.

But often because so many have limited worth and self- esteem issues,

they find themselves needing to feel safe through the validation of their partner instead and therefore answer accordingly to get the result that they want from their partner instead of being truthful and having a truly intimate conversation around their differences.

 

All relationships at some point come to a place where the definition sorta just manifests organically.

But it is an energy that a couple will grow into as time and depth in the relationship is established,

not some words stated because partners feel pressure from what they have been told is important to ask for come date three or month six, or whatever the f-ck timeline you are working on.

 

If you are among the many people out there that feels that need the label to lean and trust more,

or to not have your jealousy anymore,

or to be able to be more vulnerable or intimate with your partner,

and believes that the label is a sign of love,

then you truly need to explore what your definition of love really is about.

 

And ask yourself if this label is truly what you are wanting or if you are actually requesting to set up agreements with your partner as to what your relationship rules are and are not.

 

Then ask yourself how this desire to label and set up these tidy little box homes for your relationship to get cramped in is actually serving the relationship or your supposed love for this other person?

 

What if you became extremely present with your partner and chose to focus on all their good traits each time you were together?

 

What if instead of fearing them doing something that might destroy the relationship, you chose to commit to look for how well they are showing up in it right now and how much beauty you are enjoying with them right now?

 

What if you opted to actually practice authentic unconditional love with them and just wanted to enjoy them in all their radiance because your desire for them was to be that person who can hold loving space without a need to contain their soul and own them?

 

What if you chose to just allow them to be them and you to be you?

 

What if you choose consciously to come into the relationship each new day as though it was a new relationship that you were excited and appreciative of?

 

What if you started to define your relationship by saying,

” I like you pretty good, let’s see where this goes.”

 

Can you imagine how much more depth, love, compassion, witnessing, love, trust, and joy would come through your partner and the relationship?

 

Or continue on your path,

you know the one.

The one that has you believing that controlling your partner and defining your relationship and owning them as property in any f-cking fashion is LOVE.

 

And enjoy all the trauma that creates and the broken expectations and pain.

 

Because that is the result when we attempt to control the human spirit and not allow others to live authentically.

 

Not to mention,

When we do this it is only supporting our fear and at our core we feel the out of alignment that is caused with God and our soul.

 

Level Up Your Love Now.

 

And Remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to level up your relationship or learn more on authentic relating skills that can rekindle, ignite and bring average relationships into Enlightened?

 

Reach out to me about my Passion Coaching for Couples Program today.

My Revelation from Putting Ice Cubes in My Vagina.

❄️❄️❄️ I put five ice cubes and peppermint oil in my vagina last night…❄️❄️❄️

 

and then I mounted my man who had no clue of what he was getting entered into….

 

Surprise!

Aren’t surprises fun.

They certainly can be.

And being playful in our sexing is required for gourmet experiences.

 

But sometimes, we enter our partners and selves alike into experiences that may take us to depths of meeting new aspects of self that were not anticipated.

 

Sometimes our surprises back fire and cause a shut down,

a turning away, or trigger trauma from past wounds that we had forgotten about or did not think to link to current moments of play or joy.

 

Sometimes we end up freezing up emotionally in the midst of an experience and find ourselves trapped in a land of desire,

but not knowing how to express it or what to do with it.

 

We humans are not only fickle,

but fragile.

 

And we often do not give ourselves enough compassion or grace to process our feelings and love on our wounds from a higher perspective,

we in turn beat ourselves up more,

and build up more barriers of shame and bitterness,

dropping our hearts deeper into a frozen state of hibernation,

so that we do not have to deal with the emotions that surge fear through us to the core.

 

Freezing up is never a good idea,

emotionally speaking.

 

Emotional frostbite is a thing.

And it is a thing that is about as pleasant to move through as its physical twin.

It causes a numbing,

a burning,

and massive constriction of our flow.

It prevents us from being flexible in love, life, thinking and feeling.

It locks us down to the creation of the life that we crave for.

And when we sit with emotional frostbite,

any amount of warmth burns and scares us.

 

But that is what the prescription is to heal it.

That, that we fear.

That. that burns,

that hurts to lean into.

It is the defrosting of our core.

It is the warming of our hearts,

and listening to our soul.

 

And it is activated with DESIRE.

 

But desire feels too provocative a thing when you are frozen.

Desire feels edgy, feels dangerous and makes us have to deal with our fears.

 

And fear stands firm in its cover of guilt and shame, jealousy even.

 

Fear yells at us to control the situation.

Fear tells us that we must have expectations.

Fear wraps us up in its belief of scarcity.

 

And it tells us that desire is evil.

 

It tells us to not listen to desire,

to not feel its warm embrace.

Fear wants us to remain “safe” and stay frozen.

 

Deny.

Deny your soul.

Deny your heart.

Deny desire.

 

Because that is where desire is birthed from.

It comes from your truth,

to heal you,

to guide you,

to defrost you.

and open you up to who you truly are.

 

And without it….

You will never know the wonders of this life.

You will never fully tap into your purpose.

You will never feel the depths of love ripping you open into surrender.

You will never see the light of God in your rapture,

and you will never live an expanded life.

 

No.

Nothing is possible without desire.

But we must make sure that our desire is based in our heart,

not in our ego.

For the desire of our ego, may mask itself as our hearts,

may ride the very waves of our heartbeat even,

and make us feel as though we cannot exist without it,

but from this sort of desire we feel its need,

its need to control.

It needs to master us.

Its need to force.

to be hasty in the gaining of our desires.

And it does this through the emotions of worry, fear,

envy, judgement, bitterness and anxiety.

 

Where desire that comes from our heart,

does none of this.

It only defrosts our streams and rivers,

bares its truth through love, compassion and excitement,

releases us from our once thought eternal winter,

and renews our hunger to live.

 

Neither feel safe.

But desire from the heart is soul led.

It is what each of us must step into and embrace with eagerness if we are to ever know God.

Know life and love.

And heal our wounds.

 

It is through this desire that we learn to embody ourselves once again and trust in our hearts.

 

It is here in the warmth of our desire that we awaken to our worthiness and greatness.

 

And it is from this eruption of desire that KNOW OURSELVES.

 

But if you choose to ignore,

choose to hide behind the shame and guilt,

the excuses and your pride,

then you choose to remain in an eternal state of cryonics.

And you can bear hope to bring life back to yourself at some point, but in order to do it my love….

 

You must choose it.

You must choose to defrost and to allow yourself to feel again.

 

To feel everything.

And know that it is perfect.

 

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Don’t let another moment pass living in a chronic state of frozen.

Limiting your life experience,

limiting your love and connection,

limiting your abundance.

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

It is time that you say YES to you.

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.