Today Give Yourself Permission to Fall In Love.

Giving myself permission to fall in love while in isolation.

Such a beautiful opportunity to come back to self.

To come back to what matters most in this life

and to fully embrace all that I have not yet allowed to manifest.

Can you do the same?

Imagine a world that took this time of solitude,

this time of silence,

this time of moving slower and not rushing here and there,

as an opportunity to fall in love.

To fall in love with SELF first.

To fall in love with all your own little quirks and those things you find fault in.

To fall in love with the things that you find challenging.

To fall in love with your DESIRES.

To fall in love with your hopes and your dreams.

Imagine if you sat with all the things that you think about and made a plan as to what steps you needed to take to open the doorway to you creating the life that you want.

Imagine if you did not JUST THINK about the steps but actually took action on all the ones that you could RIGHT NOW.

Imagine if you looked at the person that you “wish” you could be and that you know that you must become in order to have this life you desire and started to implement just three to five things into your daily practice that would support you fully stepping into this person who calls in those dreams and desires with ease.

Imagine if you took this time to reconnect to YOU.

To step away from the habits that you use to buffer yourself from feeling your truth.

Imagine if you looked past the things that you use to not feel and instead give yourself permission to feel your emotions, all of them.

Imagine if you allowed yourself to do some deep dive inquiry work with yourself to learn who you are right now and what your interests are without the expectations, needs or desires of others.

Imagine if you took some time today and each day to appreciate your body for supporting you the way that it does.

Imagine if you took time each day to connect to the people that you claim matter most to you.

Imagine if you slowed down even more,

and took time without any noise to really appreciate the sky.

The tree’s. The breeze. The sunshine. Nature.

Imagine if you took this time to learn something new.

Imagine if you took this moment that God is offering you and instead of focusing on the fear that the world is stuck in,

YOU…

YES YOU…

Realize your power.

Imagine what your life today could be like.

What your tomorrow would feel and look like.

Imagine with me now, a world of individuals doing just this.

Participating in a mass healing of consciousness.

A mass healing of embodiment.

A mass healing of self-love and appreciation.

A mass healing of community.

Because a better you,

is a better us,

is a better world.

But in order for this to be a real thing,

we each must do our part.

We must stop giving it only lip service and instead take action.

We must move forward with clarity in self.

This is how we turn the chaos into beauty.

Into peace.

But you must do your part, love.

You must know your worth,

know your value to today and to this world.

Knowing that in your actions,

your thoughts,

your embodiment,

you let your light be shown,

and with each light that ignites the darkness will be replaced with radiance.

We are a chosen people.

We are a people blessed by the hands of the creator.

We are a people that walk in the footsteps of greatness.

And how we progress forward is based on the choices that we each make.

SO if you think you have no power or say in the days and events to come,

THINK AGAIN.

You are the power.

You are the choice.

So live today in Self-Love and Awareness.

Dare to do something unique.

Dare to embody the self.

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Now accepting applications for 1:1 coaching.

Learn how you can let go of that that causes you stress and fear and truly create the life that you’ve always wanted for.

Plus inquire about my group coaching for ways to reduce anxiety and stress with a 5 week mastermind on the vagus nerve.

Photo credit to Photographyinwonderland.

A Letter To My Mr. Forever.

A Letter To My Mr. Forever:
 
I already know who you are,
you have come to me in a dream long ago.
I have sampled our life together,
through relationships of the past.
 
I have felt your soft touch upon my skin,
the tickle of your finger tips as they profess their love,
I have felt your breath against my flesh,
breathing in the moments together.
 
I have felt your force,
your strength and determination,
your passion and hunger.
As you devour me with life itself.
 
I have watched you my love,
your heart expanding,
your kindness, compassion and fiercness.
I have laughed and danced with you.
Loving each twirl that you lead.
 
I have embraced the moments of powerful emotion,
sitting in your lap,
our hearts beating as one,
eye’s gazing into forever,
tears steaming from our blended joy.
 
I have felt you penetrate me,
holding me deep commanding my surrender to your presence.
I have witnessed the magic,
and felt it move through my veins in our loving of our flesh,
the loving that trandscends,
both time and space.
 
I have heard you sing to me,
eternal love songs,
smiling with your ocean eye’s,
and letting me know that I am your queen.
 
I have shuddered from your touch,
and pushed myself past boundaries I never knew existed.
I have explored raptures that only few will ever know.
 
I have witnessed the depth of your soul,
and felt the elation of my own,
united with yours.
Becoming one.
 
I have been blessed to feel the presence of heaven and of God,
in our union.
The scent of fresh roses wafting about the room,
as if manifest from thin air.
I have felt the magnitude of your love.
 
I see the man that you are,
and because I see you so clearly,
and feel you so deep,
I know the woman that you demand me to become.
 
And I am not yet your woman,
I am not yet the one for you.
I hold you close and yet at arms length,
because I know.
I know who I must become,
not for you my love,
but for myself.
 
You demand of me to become ALL of me.
You call me from the future,
reminding me of the woman that I truly am.
You lead me now,
in the moments that my heart awakens,
that my body explores,
you guide me with your patience,
and smile from afar.
 
I see you watching me.
Yours eye’s following my moves.
I see your pleasure in your witnessing of my birth,
waiting.
Waiting for me to relaize.
 
And this my love,
shows the man that you are.
 
You will never cave or be something that you are not.
You will never step out of your superiour masculine energy to beg me, or taunt me, or lead me to believe it is our time yet,
when it is not.
You get the value of trust and what it takes to have it truly with another.
You are not fearful of your desires,
you embrace them as you will one day embrace me.
You penetrate this world with purpose, passion, play and confidence,
and you wait to take my heart, body and soul in the same measure.
 
I can feel you here and now.
Your presence grows closer by the day,
and I foretaste of your love in my current.
I am in gratitude for the man that awaits me,
the man that holds me,
the man that guides from time and space.
 
I am coming.
 
———————————————————————————–
 
This musing goes out to all the ladies in waiting,
whether you be single or coupled in current,
if you are lacking or looking,
if you cannot find “the one” and wonder,
where is that man of my dreams?
If you are with a love, but it s not true,
you feel lost still to your core,
and you have tasted of the love that you desire,
this musing is for you.
 
Love my beautiful,
is for the expanding not the shutting down.
Love is for the healing and the recognizing,
not the wounding and the masking,
Love elevates not deflates.
Love holds your truth,
and smiles as you discover it.
 
Love does not fear loosing,
because it knows it has everything you need.
Love watches your dance,
embraces your play and your fear,
Love knows who you are,
and guides you just to that.
 
Love does not control.
Love does not run.
Love does not waiver.
 
And this my beautiful,
is who is calling you from the future.
This is your Mr. Forever.
 
But first my dear,
you must recognize,
the Queen that YOU ARE.
 
To unit with this sort of love,
the demand is for you to receive YOURSELF,
in all your emotion,
all your joy,
all your fear,
all your beauty,
seen and unseen.
You MUST be ready my beautiful,
to become the match for this man.
 
Go.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Ladies in the house want to call in your Mr. Forever, reach out to me for guidance today to become the the woman that matches the man of forever.

Why Women Don’t Trust Men.

Tears that cannot be seen are still tears felt.
 
Often I meet people in some of the most difficult spaces of their lives.
They come to me in thier wounding,
in their fear,
in their bitterness and revenge.
Trauma masks them from their truth.
They are lost.
And with thier lostness they have comfort.
 
It is this way for anyone who has experienced pain.
And the pain much of the time is rooted in our thoughts of ego,
which continues to trap us in a nasty loop of past fears, thoughts, feelings and expereinces.
Due to this loop we feel comfort, but we never feel fulfilled or happy as well.
 
Abandonment is one of the the major culprits to this pain.
To these tears that are unseen.
 
Abandonment happens when we least expect it too, does it not?
 
Last night I was having a discussion with a close friend about this very topic. We sat over a bottle of guava rum and had some deep dives into vulnerable shares around relationships and how we could each see a pattern in our past relationships with men. The men that touched us in such a power way, the one’s who openned our hearts, expanded our thinking and taught us incredible lessons about our lives and who we are as women.
 
I sat there and shared about the four past relationships that I find most significant and that I can say that three of them I was deeply and still am today even (if I am real with you and I in this moment) in love with. These men awakened the woman that I am today. And I am ever grateful for them blessing my life as they had.
 
All four of these relationships, professed their undying love for me.
They all asked me to marry.
They all went deep into my heart and soul and penetrated me like no other. Each built on the one before,
taking me into new relams of love.
Oh the stories I could share, and have in other musings.
These four men,
they changed my world forever and taught me to love.
 
They also crushed me in ways that I am sure none of them ever intended of.
Their words of, ” I will fight for you.” – ” I love you unconditionally and want nothing more than your happiness.” – “I can see forever with you.” – “I would NEVER do anything to hurt you.” – You are my world.”
 
Yes, these words as if from a storybook romance,
so lovely, so enticing.
So real for the moment they were spoken,
were the words that also crushed me after a period of time.
 
These words became poison and what they all loved – me,
they tried to kill in their own way by severing through retraction, removal, disposal and even physically action down the road of our relationship.
 
Now, here is the thing I want you to get from this musing:
Was there pain? yes.
Is there still pain? In moments, yes.
But I am more in gratitude than pain at this point, some of these relationship I speak of were from 20 years past even.
Some just a few years back.
It is the lessons, the patterns that I see and want to share with you today.
 
All four men chose to say good bye.
All four shared this pattern in that good bye,
the pattern of not speaking their integrity.
 
They chose to hide from me,
from thier hearts truth.
They chose to lie to my face day in and day out,
even when I inquired directly about what I was feeling from them.
They chose to run and hide instead of face me and say goodbye with clarity and heart.
They chose to abandon.
And this lack of integrity,
caused unfinished business between us,
and shame for them.
They supported my programs of:
 
” I am not good enough.”
“I am unlovable.”
” I am disposable like trash.”
“I am not worthy of true love or even truth.”
“I am not worthy to have someone fight for me.”
“I cannot trust men.”
“I am not safe.”
 
What I see often in my couples work with clients are all these programed statements and beliefs in women and the men not underestanding why she feels this way or what he has done to cause it.
 
I tell you sweet men of the world,
it is your lack of integrity.
 
When you do not stand in your truth to your core,
when you waiver,
when you hide like a little boy behind your mother’s skirts,
you support these fears of the feminine.
When you tell us that all is well, when it is not,
you support these fears of the feminine.
When you take without care,
demand that she gives you her sex, her heart, her smile even though she is not a yes,
you support these fears of the feminine.
When you do not stand in her fire but instead try to coddle and fix,
father, shame, guilt, or teach,
you support these fears of the feminine.
When you shut down your heart to hide from us,
when you close off and retract your love through ignoring,
you support these fears of the feminine.
 
When you promise what you have no right to promise,
making firm statments of forever,
preaching your unconditional, undying devotion without the understanding of what you are actually saying,
you support these fears of the feminine.
 
And most of all…
when that moment comes,
if it does,
when you know that she is not the one,
you choose to say goodbye as a coward,
without an eye to eye meeting of the hearts,
when you ghost,
go distant and even turn it into her fault because you are not man enough to stand in your truth,
 
Yes my sweet men of the world….
HERE, here you create these fears of the feminine.
 
The advice I have for you,
is simple.
 
Realize that abandonment does not happen at the moment that you choose to walk away,
your abandonment happened long before,
it was in the very first stages of your lack of integrity.
When you chose to not speak it and be it,
you abndoned not just her,
you banadoned yourself as well.
And this is why she cannot trust.
This is why she cannot surrender.
This is why you will find yourself repeating the same issues with a different women in your life.
 
If you want to have your woman fully,
learn to stand true in who you are.
Even if you do not have an answer for her in a moment,
or unable to fix what has gone astray,
if you feel lost in your emotions,
speak just that sweet man.
 
“My integrity in this moment, is that I don’t know.”
 
Whatever your truth may be,
she will respect and love you for it,
if she knows that she can trust you.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for deet’s on learning how to create an authentic relationship based in love, integrity and desire.
*Photoe credit to www.photographyinwonderland.com

I Destroyed My Relationship by Being Selfless.

I looked at him and said,
” I am super selfish!”
 
Following it up with,
“If you were around me more, you would see how rude I can be. How abrupt, focused and determined to do what I feel is best for self. And you most likely would not like it much and may not like me as much as well.”
 
He shook his head in disagreement,
he chuckled and said, ” I know how rude you can be, and how stubborn you are. I have witnessed it.”
 
True, anyone who has been around me for any amount of time has witnessed my stubborness, has tasted my rudness and abruptness. And they may even think that I was just being clueless or unpresent in some of the “selfish acts” that they have expereinced with me.
 
In truth,
I was far from clueless of what I was doing.
I was making a statement of action with the clarity and love for self that was needed.
 
I was deliberatly putting my feelings first.
I was deliberatly stating my truth,
even at the cost of potentially not giving someone else what they wanted.
 
And this most certainly may not always feel good to the one who is being denied.
 
But in truth,
the selfish act of stating your authentic yes or no is one of the most loving things we can offer ourselves and another. We are caring far more for the relationship and for the outcome (long term) then to just bow down and “give” what the other wants when it is out of alignment with who we are.
 
Let me tell you an intimate tale….
 
Many years ago I was married. I was with a man who claimed he loved me and in his own way did and still does and I him. However, in our relationship we were both unhappy, empty and lost and we did not understand this or what was causing it.
Our sex was average at best.
He wanted it.
I did not.
But I gave it to him a few times a month to “keep him happy” as we were married and that is what a “good wife” is to do.
 
So the sex was based on my duty to care for my man’s physical needs and make him feel good,
make him feel like I desired him,
desired the sex,
that he was being the man.
So I faked it.
I gasped and moaned,
I drank a few glasses of wine to loosen up and “get in the mood.”
 
And I hated him and me for it.
Every time I said yes to please him and I was actually a no,
I was raping myself.
I was detroying our relationship,
and the love that we had for each other.
In my efforts to be selfless and do what I thought was best and good for us and for him,
I tore myself apart.
And the more I died inside,
the more depressed, exhausted and empty I felt.
And the more anxious, stressed, and angry I became.
 
So I drank more wine.
Masking my feelings,
masking my needs and trying ever harder to get in the mood.
What mood was I getting into in truth.
The mood of victim.
The mood of selfless.
The mood of “I know, let’s rape ourselves! Let’s tell a lie about our truth. And say YES when we mean NO.”
 
Over and over again for years this plauged our relationship and my whole being.
 
I would say yes to whatever he wanted.
Blow jobs, sure even though I hated his scent and taste and cried through them.
Anal sex, sure… even though it felt like I was being torn apart in the act and hurt for a week to follow, even bleeding from my ass and fearful of the damage.
I remember him telling me that when I wrapped my legs around him that it made it virtually impossible for him to hold back his climax because it was such a feeling of me pulling him in and wanting him,
funny, this was the last thing I was wanting or feeling.
But I leaned on this information to get him off quicker so that my pain would be over sooner.
 
I was such a good wife.
Taking care of his physical needs like that.
Taking responsibility of his emotions and boosting his ego like that.
Yes, he would have been destroyed if I had spoken my truth of not wanting it.
 
He would have been destroyed to know that I had not had an orgasm for years.
 
And that would be down right selfish of me and wrong,
hurtful even to tell my truth like this.
 
Right?
 
Well, like I said…
A long time ago I “WAS” (past tense) married.
 
I destroyed our marriage with my selflessness.
As do so many people.
 
To be selfish is to love the self enough to speak our truth.
To be selfish is to be in alignment with the self,
and to know that when we are in alignment to our core,
we are also in alignment to what is ultimatly needed for all involved.
 
Selflessness makes us a marter.
It destroys who we are because we loose ourselves.
We end up starving ourselves and have nothing to offer this world.
 
Now, I can hear some out ther stating,
“Yeah thats great Kendal, but what do you do if your truth and another person’s truth are opposite?”
 
This is where you have to sit down and have some truth talks.
You have to lean into these difficult conversations and realize that sometimes we are at an impass. Sometimes, we have to ask ourselves the difficult questions of,
 
👉“Is this thing I am calling my truth TRUE?”
 
👉“Is there some other way that I can get my needs met?”
 
👉“Can we agree to disagree and still be friends/lovers/etc?”
 
👉“How important is it to me to get this other person to do what I want? And what do I feel I will benefit from it or that we will benefit from it?”
 
Realize this…
At the end of the day,
you WILL do one of three things…
 
1. Get your way at the cost of anothers well-being and happiness, or
2.Let someone else have their way with you and you in turn hold bitterness, resentment, trauma and hatred toward them and yourself.
3. Get your truth spoken and hear anothers truth, unconditionally without expectation.
 
One of these three is love based.
The other two are ego, control, fear and conditional based.
 
What do you choose?
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Looking for how you can create or manifest an authentic relationship based on unconditional love instead of need and fear? Reach out to me for 1:1 and group coaching and workshops today. I work with people all over the world.

The Realness of What You Are Living.

What is it that you want?
What do you want for in relationship?
 
You want for ease.
You want for connection.
You want for this thing called love.
 
And perhaps you are not feeling these things today in your relationship.
 
Perhaps when I ask you the question of, “what do you want?”
You have an increase sense of pain, frustration, loss, fear, anger even.
 
These emotions rise up not because you are focusing in on what you want. They are present because you are actually looking at what you do not want.
 
You are looking at the void. The void you see of not having the relationship that you want. Of not having the ease you desire. Of not having the connection you crave fullfilled. Of not having the love you want for.
 
But knowing what you don’t want makes it easier to know what you do want too.
 
Think about it for a moment, close your eyes. Lets feel into the love that you are wanting for.
 
Its that kind of love that sweeps you off your feet, right?
Its that kind of love that makes you feel at peace, right?
It’s that kind of love that makes you feel good about yourself, right?
 
Its that kind of love that asks you to just be you.
You don’t have to try and be or act any certain way.
You just are accepted for how you are.
IT JUST IS.
 
What if I told you that you are looking for this in ALL the wrong places.
 
You are looking for this love to come from an individual. In doing this you are stepping out of your truth and power.
 
You are now a victim to another fickle human being who may change at any given moment.
When the answer is to go within and to God/Universe/Source.
 
When you look to another person as the cause of the love, for that feeling of love what you are doing is giving them credit for your alignment to SOUL.
Alignment to God.
Alignment to your TRUTH, your CORE.
 
What we humans do in our search for alignment through the feeling of love is that we keep searching for the “ONE” who will make us feel all that.
And so we keep replacing people in our lives to try and get this love that we crave so badly for,
when in fact what we need to be doing is not necessarily replacing people but finding true connection with God, with our TRUTH and from this place of being,
of living and feeling in love,
the person we have always drempt for will come.
 
The realness of what we are living,
the IS’NESS of our reality and us focusing in on just that is what keeps us from having the connection that we crave for.
 
The more we relate the lovely expereince of being in love,
and being loved to a person,
it leaves us in a place of searching for that state of well being,
and yumminess,
beauty in life and love, when we no longer have that person in our life.
Leaving us feeling lost,
empty, and abandoned.
And we sometimes choose to close our hearts to love.
We hide from it because it scares us of the potential of getting hurt from it. So we go into avoidance.
We numb ourselves,
we use detachment from relationship and our heart,
to protect us from the evils of loosing love.
Yet we do not cease to desire it still.
 
This is us looking in all the wrong places for love, and not understanding what love really is.
 
When we are feeling love from someone or for someone,
what we are being gifted is the ease of being in alignment.
It is our alignment to God though that is making us feel love.
Our alignment to our truth and core.
 
When we place responsibility on another for this feeling,
we are now living in a state of need for them to BE in order for us to expereince what is always with us.
 
The way it is for most people is that we need another person to act, to be, to show us love in just such a way and then we FEEL LOVED. And when they stop doing this or change how they are doing it, we feel unloved, undesired.
 
And when we are feeling loved we feel in alignment to life,
like you are walking on sunshine.
 
But it can all quickly change if the fickle human we have given all our power to changes directions or focuses and relates to us differently.
 
The truth is this:
When we find our alignment to God and SOUL, here we find love. True love that is sustainable and without question or need of anyone else.
 
And when we are in alignment and hold course,
the things we desire the most will manifest quickly and with ease.
 
They must.
 
Because this is the purest state of creation.
 
When we want for something with such passion in this state,
when we feel what we want prior to it manifesting in the physical, it does not take long for us to start allowing it into our physical life expereince so it can hosw itself. As we allow for it to be revealed to us with more and more ease, we create an avalanche effect of energy.
 
And life become blissful.
 
Here is where food tatste so delectable,
the world is bright and cheery,
we meet friendly people with smiles and helping hands in just the right moments around every corner,
we feel ignited and turned on to every breath we breathe.
We are living in a state of fulfillment with a consistent desire to expereince more.
 
And in this place of being,
we can have EVERYTHING we want for in relationship.
 
You are not being requested to stay in the emptiness of relationship that you may be in right now.
 
You are not being requested to be happy with this the relationship status that you have.
 
But if you truly want for the relationship of your dreams,
then the first tsep to achieving it is to find your alignemnt and love for life,
love for self,
and connection to God.
 
You can tell a person who is turned on to life.
Who love’s self,
loves life,
and is connected to God.
 
This persos radiates love and beauty.
This person glows.
And is magnetic.
You may think of them as lucky.
 
But all they have discovered is the secret,
the secret of alignment.
 
Where are you restricting yourself from love?
 
Let Go and Lean In.
Breathe and Allow.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to know more about how to call in the “ONE” and find your alignment to have the F-ck YES! Life you desire? Message me about coaching opportunities today.

Is Your Relationship a KNOWING One?

Opening up.
Vulnerability.
Sharing our truth.
Our emotions and our thoughts.
As we share our bodies.
 
We crave the relationship that we can have and do all of this in and yet we never give ourselves the opportunity to truly expereince what this sort of relationship is like.
 
I may have had a few relationships of many lables and kinds through my adult years.
 
And as I sit here thinking on them,
I see a common factor in them.
I see my hunger for depth.
 
Some provided a richness of the mind.
These were the relationships that stimulated me and made me ponder deep and wondereful things. They were phylosophical, complex, logical and smooth.
 
Some provided a richness of the emotions.
These held me in a sea of emotion,
they taught me it was safe to weep in a lovers arms,
they taught me it was beautiful to witness another share from their heart the things they feared to reveal anywhere else.
These relationships were based in feeling emotion.
Both positive and negative.
They were chaotic, moody, edgy and ever changing.
 
Some provided a richness of the body.
These ignited my flesh consistently.
I would find myself lighting up and being taken into a desire without any thought,
just a hunger.
These I could feel my whole body open into and drink up the tender and playful moments shared.
These relationships were based in passion, touch, action, play and chemistry. They were triggering, expansive, educational, playful and hot.
 
But none of these beautiful relationships,
just based in the area that it landed offered what I wanted the most for.
 
DEPTH.
 
You can go deep with someone in thought.
You can go deep with them emotionally.
You can go deep physically with them in exploration and play.
 
But that is not the depth that we crave in relationship.
 
For us to know what depth is,
we must first have a taste of it with self.
As it is like with anything worth wanting for,
first you must know it from within.
 
All good shiz starts within.
And depth in relationship is no different.
 
What makes up a deep relationship though?
 
Its all of the above,
and its also spiritual depth.
You have to feel it at a SOUL level.
There is a KNOWING.
 
It is where our souls unit and they just KNOW that they are two branches on the same tree you could say.
 
This spiritual depth takes you into a land where conversations move past the mental, emotional and physical constraints.
We speak about lifetimes of connection and feeling.
We meld ourselves together in the knowing of each other and we can’t do anything else but smile.
 
Even if the relationship comes to an end,
we cannot say anything other than our gratitude for having expereinced it.
 
You will know when you are in a relationship of this sort,
by tapping into your truth.
 
You must be willing to embrace the possibility that it is not a KNOWING relationship.
That you may not have the depth that you crave and may never have it with the person that you have your eye’s set on in current,
but you can feel into the relationship you have and figure out if it is based in this KNOWING or not.
 
The steps to the KNOWING are simple:
 
🔥 You have what some would say a blind love. You truly are unconditional with this person. They can do NOTHING that will ever make you turn from them, that you could not forgive them for. You see them only in love. Many relationships claim to have this, however when you examine it you will find that the parties want each other to act, look, be a certain way so that they pleasently feed the others needs for comfort and safety.
 
🔥 Synchronicities and coincindeses just happen at high intensity when you are together or thinking about this person. To the point that its like the universe is always sending you memo’s on your deep connection and alignment with this other person.
 
🔥 If you are having sex, its without question the best you have ever had. Mind blowing, connective, emotional, with spiritual overplay at every gasp. You cannot get enough of each other and you feel like you just keep finding a new universe to explore each time you are together within this person.
 
🔥 Triggering. The KNOWING relationship is one that will feel triggering in many moments as the person will mirror you and at the same time ask that you go deeper into them to see yourself. They will without consciously knowing or trying say and do things that will cause you to pause and breathe. The end result will always be the same, where you find yourself exploring deeper aspects of self because of what they revealed.
 
🔥 Psychic connections. This may seem silly to some, but its the KNOWING relationship that has some feeling like they have been together for a thousand years over, they feel each others thoughts and emotions almost too accuratly some days. Hard to keep secrets in a knowing relationship as all is constantly revealed.
 
🔥 Gut wrenching. A Soul Knowing relationship has you wrapped up in a constant battle of uncharted waters of vulnerabilty. You find yourself diving into waters with this person on small and big matters without care or second thought. You have the certainty that they will love you through it no matter what, because they do.
 
🔥 Both parties feel all the above.
This is where the rarety comes in. Many people may sit and read these words and say, “Yes. Yes.Yes. I have all of that with my partner.” But would your partner feel and think the same? If two come together but only one see’s and feels, then it is not a KNOWING relationship for this moment in time or perhaps even this life. We can have many beautiful moments and memories with many kidred souls. We may think of them even as soulmates, and this all of them are. But the KNOWING is one that is without question, or doubt from either side. It just is.
 
We can all call in this beautiful fulfilling relationship,
we may be in a KNOWING right now. You may have had a relationship of the past be all the above and lost it.
You will know if you still love unconditionally and smaile at the fact that at least you loved and lost, then never have been able to taste the KNOWING at all.
 
Often our fear blocks us from this vulnerable deep sort of relationship. We meet someone and our souls KNOW…
but due to whatever fears and repression we may have we may block it from being lived out at this time.
 
That is why…
To have a KNOWING relationship,
you must first look within.
 
The one’s who know themselves,
love themselvevs purely and without constraight,
the ones who lean into their fears,
push past thier triggers,
and allow themselves to SEE and be SEEN.
 
These are the one’s who open the doorway to DEPTH that we all crave.
 
I ask you today,
Are you willing to stand before the mirror of all time and space and go deep within to manifest the relationship your heart and SOUL crave for?
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me about opportunities to learn how to go deep with self, clear your blockages and open the doorway to love.

I View All My Clients As Lovers.

It is frequently assumed that I go on many dates with many men..

It is assumed that to be a coach who teaches people how to have more, and deeper better sex that I must be loose or easy to bed.

That sex is something I am addicted too even.

Its often assumed that because I am the mother of seven that I am uncontrollable and quenchless in my thirst for sex or orgasm.

People often say to me,
” you would think that a sex coach would have figured out what causes pregnancy by now.”

Many look at me with horrified questioning eyes as they inquire if I will have any more children or why I am not currently married.

The assumptions roll through thier minds and almost escape thier lips.

Perhaps even you dear reader and follower wonder and question.
Perhaps you are among the assumers.
And I want you to know that I thank you.
I thank you for all that you feel.
All that you think.
And all that you sometimes goofily share in your assumptions.

I see your humanness.
And I do not judge it.
As you judge me.

I know what my truth is.
I know whom I love.
I know that my heart,
My message and my calling is felt and seen by those it is meant for.

Not everyone can be like a taco as my best friend would say.
And even though I may have a body part that resembles,
I am still not a taco.

I write this musing this evening to shed the light on how we judge what we do not understand.
How we cast stones with certainty,
But are enraged when they are thrown back without due reason in our opinion.

Today I share with you from a place I choose to call the labyrinth of mirrors.

This is the place where we can choose to see ourselves in ALL we come in contact with on our life journey,
Or we can turn away from them,
Look downward and become lost in the maze of our own fears and self criticism.

What do you choose my sweet human?
To be judge and jury to all in your life
And that you meet on your path.

Or to be human.
To be human means to be compassionate.
To self and to others.
To know that we do not know what anothers shoes are like.
What the path they have traveled took them through.
To be human means that you stand as witness not judge.
And to witness another is one of the greatest gifts we can ever offer.
To allow ourselves to be witnessed is the next.

Just yesterday I was working with a dear client of mine. This man has love streaming from every energy fiber he has. And yet he struggles with allowing himself the simple pleasure of recieving that love back.

I left him with the words,
” One day I hope you give me the gift of you allowing yourself to recieve my love.”

Now that statement may instantly bring up assumptions and judgments in you about me.
Or my coaching practice.
What does Kendal do with her clients?
Is she in romantic relations with them.

And you can assume.
You can judge.
And you can cast your head down and keep stubling through your maze.

Be my guest.

What I can tell you is that each day it is revealed and I am reminded of the deep intimacy I hold with these souls that are labled my clients.

They are not my clients.
They are my lovers.
I love each of them deeply.
Men.
Women.
Couples.
The intimacy, vulnerability, rawness and depth that they trust me with is without messure one of the greatest gifts of this life time for me.

And yes….
I love my clients.
I love them for thier willingness to stop bouncing off the walls of thier maze and instead to sit still and let them selves be revealed through the mirrors that are presented on thier path.

I love them for thier courage to catch thier inner judge and jury and fire them daily,
While loving themselves at a more intense level.

I love them for the tender moments that they give grace…
TO THEMSELVES.

I love them for the humor and laughter as they learn how to skip through thier errors and self defeating patterns.

Yes they are my lovers.
And I love them for the blessings that they are.

Now back to that dating thing….
I have dated a few men in my time.
And I have dated many at the same time.
But the men of my current…
The men I choose daily.
These men you may or may never meet…
Some can be captured in picture.
Others in story.

More than one?
Yes in deed.

And does it matter whom they are to you?
Well lets just see if you have been listening.
The judge.
The jury.
They have your answer.

But the mirror will never lie.

As Always My Loves,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

 

I Feel Like My Life Is Full Of Pot Holes. (Relieving Sadness and Other Uncomfortable Emotions)

How do I rationalize my sadness?
I don’t understand why I am feeling the way that I am feeling,
and I cannot seem to escape it.
The more I look for why I am feeling this way,
the more caught up in this negative emotion I get.
I have tried all the appreciation shiz,
I know I have lot’s to be grateful for,
but it’s like it does not matter.
I still feel so empty.
I feel lost,
disappointed in myself.
I am scared of what my future holds.
And if I don’t figure out how to fix these things then I am doomed.
 
I have been here so long,
I don’t even know if I can fathom what happiness is.
 
Anything in these statements align to how you are feeling luv?
 
We all can get caught up in sadness.
For some it is a life long game.
For others we go through periods.
But there are a few things that EVERYONE has in common when we speak SADNESS.
 
Sadness is all about us having a temporary distorted view point on life or a situation.
 
It tell’s us that we are out of alignment with who we really are.
 
And in our need to “fix” the sadness we apply focused concentraion on the cause which in turn only digs us deeper into this pit of dispair.
 
Might seem hopeless if you think too much about it.
How are we to find a solution if we only dig ourselves deeper into it by trying to fix it?
 
If you look at depression,
or sadness,
hoplessness…
what do we do when we expereince these natural emotions that feel uncomfortable to us?
 
We go into problem solving mode.
We now know that there is “something broken” or not right-
typically that something is us so we believe,
and we look for solutions to repair the damage.
So we self medicate,
we get a doctor to confirm to us that we are broken,
we point outword at people and events and blame them for the broken pieces.
And we go into this mode of “IF ONLY.”
 
“IF ONLY” is a void. It is a space of emptiness that we believe needs to be filled by something.
 
“IF ONLY” is a concept that we have no control over our state of being.
 
“IF ONLY” leads us to believe that if things were different that then we would be happy.
 
“IF ONLY” makes us a victim.
And bares with it a feeling of weakness, destitution, and lostness.
 
“IF ONLY” is not the answer!
And bringing our focused attention to the problem,
analyzing every aspect of it ,
and bringing even more light to what is wrong,
will NEVER solve the problem.
It will however make it grow.
It will make it feel like we can’t get out of the muck.
It will appear that our life journey is one full of pot holes and sadness.
And the funny thing is that we forget who is driving our car.
 
YOU ARE DRIVING YOUR CAR.
 
And let’s just simplify this a tad here.
 
If you have ever driven a car down a road that had a bunch of pot holes,
how did you avoid hitting all the pot holes?
How did you limit your exposure to the pot holes?
 
Think about it.
Put yourself behind the wheel luv.
Because THAT is where you are at.
 
I am pretty sure that in order to avoid or limit hitting the pot holes you looked on the path at the spaces that did not have them or had less of them.
And you then guided your car by keeping your focus on the road that had less or no pot holes.
Because you understand that if you drove looking at what you wanted to avoid, that you would stear your vehicle right into the holes.
 
Correct?
 
Well sadness is the pot holes in this analogy.
You could put any feared emotion in it’s place and it would all equate out to the same concept.
 
When we try and fix our sadness by covering it up with different things,
we numb ourselves to the cause as well as the problem.
So we never solve the issue.
It’s kind like thinking that you can avoid the bumpy road by taking one hand and putting it over your eye’s while driving.
If you can’t see the path, pot holes and flat spaces then you will feel safer.
You won’t be scared to face the pot holes.
But you won’t be able to avoid them either.
 
And if you are wondering why sadness seem’s to grab you by your balls out of no where,
the answer is simple.
You are driving with your hand over your eye’s and expecting a clear path because of it.
 
You have not actually dealt with the core issue.
That core issue is always the same,
no matter the subject area of our world that we are sad about.
 
The core issue is that we are NOT in alignment with WHO WE REALLY ARE.
 
WTF! Does that even mean?
 
WHO WE REALLY ARE?
 
I am who I am, right?
Wrong.
 
And this is what sadness is trying to show you.
Sadness is not something to fear,
it is something to be grateful for.
It is a powerful teacher.
 
It show’s you exactly how out of alignment you are from your truth.
 
And your truth,
is the same as my truth,
the same as anyone else’s truth.
 
Your truth is this:
 
YOU ARE WORTHY.
Worthy of love.
Worthy of connection.
Worthy of happiness.
Worthy of well being.
Worthy of abundance.
 
And you don’t have to do or prove anything to be worthy.
You were born worthy.
 
All you have to do,
is have a bit of self-love and compassion.
You do these things by stepping out of the vitctim mode of fear and scarcity.
 
You are sad because you believe you cannot be happy unless you have ______________________ ( fill in the blank.)
 
You believe that in order to have this_____________,
that it must look/act/feel/show up like this ______________________________________________________________.
 
And you are wagering your happiness on it doing as you “think” it should,
instead of allowing it to be however it needs to be.
 
It’s your need to make it happen according to your programmed guidelines supported by your fear based thinking that is manifesting the emotion of sadness.
And you are stuck in this pot hole of sadness because you focused on the pot hole,
instead of what feels better.
 
Abraham Lincoln once said, “People are about as happy as they make thier minds to be.”
 
What he meant by this was that WE GET TO CHOOSE HOW HAPPY WE ARE.
 
And we gain power and a better emotional state of being by thinking bettter thoughts.
 
No one is forcing you to think what you are are thinking.
You get to choose your thoughts.
You get to choose your focus.
And when you run down a rabbit hole of sadness, ‘it’s up to you to catch yourself and shift your thoughts to something that feels better than what you are thinking currently.
 
Just level up your sad thinking to anger thinking.
Your anger thinking to blame thinking.
Your blame thinking to irritation thinking.
And keep moving up to your next best feeling thought.
Before you know it you will discover your true state of being again.
 
That being worthiness and love.
And there is no space in worthiness or love for all this fear based thinking.
 
So what is your next best feeling thought today?
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want tolearn the steps to living a happy, fulfuilled life where you know your worthiness?
 
That is what the F-ck Yes! Life is all about luv.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 coaching and events that can take you through this and help you Claim Your Life TODAY!

But THAT Is Not Sex?

And he said, “But we did not have sex.”
 
I wondered how he believed this.
I wondered what constitues as sex?
I guess to each it is different and to some,
some acts of the flesh are not actual sex or intimate enough to be such,
where to others, such as myself,
all acts of a sexual nature where body fluids are exchanged and our mouths, fingers and genitals are connected are sex.
 
This statement however made me question the meaning of sex in a very real world, primal, physical sense.
 
“But we did not have sex.”
 
His cock was deep in my throat,
it did pulse and throb as it exploded deep into my throat and found itself swallowed up.
 
And his face was burried into my pussy,
his fingers deep into my vaginal canal,
rubbing fiercely on my g-spot as he flicked and sucked firmly on my clit while my body quivered and shook,
and I dripped juices all over him.
 
Alas, we did not have sex.
 
In this instance, sex is only a thing if the genitals themselves connects.
 
His viewing of the situation is that we did not have sex,
so what did we have?
 
Intimacy, perhaps he would say?
Foreplay?
 
And in my eye’s we had sex.
I bared a more vulnerable aspect of myself then penis in vagina sex could ever share.
I openned myself up deeper than just letting him penetrate me with his cock.
 
But we did not have sex. 🤔
 
 
I find myself lost in this statement and yet it is a common place one in my coaching practice with people.
 
People say to me all the time,
well I did not sleep with him/her.
 
I just got a blow job.
I just gave him a blow job.
It was just anal.
I just ate her out.
 
I know in the open relationship world,
the land of poly and swinging and all other lables to help us create containers,
that this discussion is one that is had frequently in order to have good communication.
However, in the land of monogamy…..
 
we don’t know what sex even is.
Or what each partner deems as sex.
 
This statement made me feel like I was dealing with one of my childrens friends who was asking for advice or sharing a story nonchalantly.
 
I recall a friend of one of my daughters telling me that she was a virgin still and that she was going to remain one till she got married. She shared that it was important to her to be pure for her marriage and future husband, just the way she was brought up in church and with her families spiritual beliefs.
Then she went on to share casually that she was at a party and had anal sex with a guy and gave him a blow job.
 
I informed her that both of these actions were sex.
We argued a bit about it because she believed that sex was ONLY vagina and penis.
NOTHING else counted.
 
Now this was almost 10 years ago that I had this discussion.
This young woman is most likely married now or dating someone seriously.
Perhaps she is still a virgin in her eyes and by her belief and family guidlines,
but I want to shed the light of truth on this subject.
 
All the above is SEX.
And anal and oral are more intimate than vaginal and penis in some cases.
Just because you cannot get pregnant from anal or oral does not mean it is safe or not sex.
 
I ask you today…
“How do you define sex?”
 
If you are in a mongamous relationship,
how do you define sex?
 
Is your partner allowed to get or give oral or anal and it be looked at as if they are not having sex outside the relationship?
 
If all you get for a month is anal or oral from your partner did you have a sexless month?
 
 
How do you define sex?
 
And what are the conversations that you need to have with your partner(s) to make sure that you are in agreement or have proper relationship guidelines for your relationship boundaries?
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
‘Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to explore the truth about relationship?
What are boundaries, guidlines, agreements and what are the conversations that ALL couples and sexually active adults shoul have no matter the lables applied?
 
Reach out to me for deet’s today on the up and coming event Pathways to Relationships.

It’s Your Stinking Thinking Luv!

STOP YOUR DAMN STINKING THINKING LUV.

You know what I mean

You are sitting around wanting.
Craving all those things.
Desiring a life you don’t currently have,
And thinking the way to achieve it is by focusing on the not having of it.

Thats such stinking thinking luv.
Its polluting up your mind and your feelings about everything that you have.

If you really want the life you currently don’t have then realize that the only fucking way to get what you want is to apply your focus to that, that you WANT.
And the FEELING of it.

But NO EFFING way will you do that, huh.
No thats not logical.
You have this problem.
This challenge before you.
You must FIX what is broken
You must PROVE you are worthy.

It can’t be that easy to just start feeling good.
Right now.
Right here.
In this very moment,
To make up your damn mind to LOVE your MOFO life just as it is and feel BLESSED.

No way can it be so simple to change your life by applying your focus to being how you want right now instead of looking somewhere else,
Someplace outside of who you are and what you have.
No your stinking thinking has you believing that your happiness,
Is something you must search for.
Something you must look outside yourself for.
Something that you must work for or show your worth for.

Your stinking thinking has you focused on giving up your power to this world outside yourself in hopes that by doing so you will achieve this elusive thing called HAPPINESS.

And the sad and funny truth is that happiness is not found in things or other people.
Its found in your heart luv.
Its found by you truly embodying YOU.
But you were never taught that.
You were never shown its safe to be you.
To feel you.
To show,
Express you.

Instead the lies and illusions of looking elsewhere were given to you and now the void within is so vast you feel lost.
Listless.
Empty.
You have the relationship,
The house and snazzy car.
You have the education.
The kids.
The dog.
The success and even money in the bank.
You have seen this world.
And you still FEEL empty as fuck!
You still feel lost in who you really are and it all just seems pointless at best most days.

Oh luv,
You are so beautiful in your misgivings of this thing called life.
You are so simple in you desire for happiness and fullness.
But its your MOFO stinking thinking thats making it all so complicated.
So disheartening and making you miss the richness you already possess.

Yes luv.
You are RICH.
YOU are ABUNDANT.
And happiness is within you.

Will you CHOOSE to see and feel it or will you continue to give your power and joy away to the illusions and grandeur of this world that tells you to focus on the problems,
The pain.
The lack.

Whats your decision luv?

And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”