You Are Worthy Of Authentic Love.

 
It’s high time beautiful that you STOP the silliness of always saying yes when you mean no.
 
Yeah I see you over there.
faking that smile.
Faking that reaction.
Feeling like you have too,
when in truth you just simply are not all that in to that shiz.
 
But you still say yes.
You say yes because its programmed into you to say yes.
You say yes because you don’t want to rock the boat,
you do not want to cause a confrontation,
you most certainly don’t want to feel separation.
 
What does it matter any way?
Your opinion, your needs or desires.
You are a nice person.
You are not greedy.
You are not selfish.
You put other’s first.
Just the way you were taught.
 
I get it.
 
The issue is that you are dried up.
You are worn out.
You just keep saying yes and thinking that your yes will fill you up because giving is so good.
 
Except you forgot to give to the most important person beautiful.
 
You forgot to take care of the most valuable player in your life.
 
YOU.
 
And so you now have so little of you left to give.
You are fatigued,
lost and off centered.
You don’t have the stamina or energy to keep going and you most likely are questioning if you can.
 
But you just said another inauthentic yes to someone,
and so you must.
You must keep your head up and smile.
 
You are afraid that if you state your truth.
If you say NO –
that this relationship you are giving yourself away for will be no more.
You are afraid you will be judged, criticized, hurt someones feelings, or worse yet be abandoned by them.
 
If you really stop and feel into this,
you should see the silliness of this idea.
If this relationship is meant to be,
if it is a friendship,
a love based relationship,
a relationship that is based on truth and trust…
then why would it go away just because you are a no to something?
 
Now, if the relationship is based simply on you doing what the other wants and needs at all cost,
and you not getting your needs met,
or there is zero allowance for your authenticity,
then perhaps it is high time that you reconsider the value of this relationship in your life.
 
Perhaps you should look at this relationship and question what exactly you are making yourself available for and WHY?
 
Does this relationship make you happy?
Does it fulfill you?
Do you feel like this relationship is equally yoked?
 
Or are you just bending over backward out of fear of being alone.
Out of fear of loss.
Fear that there is nothing better than this,
that you are not deserving of it?
 
Well, I want you to realize that YOU ARE WORTHY of love.
 
And any relationship that says that it is love but demands you to NOT be authentic to get this love, is NOT LOVE.
 
It’s a LIE.
 
You deserve much better than this.
And deep in your heart you know it is true.
It is what pulls at you when you find yourself holding yourself and trying to comfort yourself when you actually need the arms of your relationship.
 
It is that sick feeling that comes up in your stomach when you say yes to something but you know that it is not really for you, but you do it anyway.
 
It is that nervousness or that physical constriction that manifests itself when you agree and push yourself to be/do something that you are not.
 
YES YOU KNOW.
 
And it is truly high time that you STOP the silliness of saying yes when you are actually a no.
 
In saying your authentic truth you will gain respect,
you will feel more confidence,
you will be embraced more by life and others,
you will be trustworthy.
And guess what those people that DO LOVE YOU,
will still be there.
The one’s who were only there for your hand outs, your service and how you made them feel without care of you,
well they will no longer be there.
 
Or they will see you differently and love you for your truth.
 
Either way,
you are worthy of true love.
But in order for you to have it,
you have to start being true to yourself.
And love yourself enough to speak your heart.
 
Say YES.
Say YES to YOU.
Not to everyone else.
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

TRAUMA GREW MY ROSE GARDEN AND GRATITUDE WATERS IT.

TRAUMA GREW MY ROSE GARDEN AND GRATITUDE WATERS IT.

Today is a really interesting day for me.
It marks my one year of one of the most traumatic events I have had happen in a relationship so far. It also marks my one year of a massive transformation period, new growth and opportunity blended with trauma and needed healing.

Today I sit here at Starbucks after dropping my youngest son off to his father ( the man I fell out of relationship a year ago today).
It was brutal to drop him off today.
My heart actually still hurts from this mornings exchange.

Our son age four, ran to the back seat of my car as we pulled into daddy’s driveway and he screamed, “I don’t want to go to daddy’s house.” he got so frustrated, clung to the rear seat with all the force his little body could muster and screamed, “No Mommy.”

I grabbed him up, hugged him. Told him that I loved him and that I would see him later today and then he would be back at mommy’s house on Wednesday. He clung to my neck and fought profusely to hold on to me as his father took him out of my arms.

I never wanted any of this for my baby.
I don’t believe that any of us parents ever want this sort of emotional pain on our children. I don’t believe that my ex desires this trauma to come up on our son either.
And yet it still falls here.

Today, I find myself sitting here upset at my son’s pain.
Wishing I could do more for him.
Wishing that us adults who have brought this on him could have communicated better about what we wanted from each other and how we wanted out of our relationship before it came to violence as it did and a nasty, terrorizing breakup that will last a life time for our children emotionally not to mention the physical repercussions that are still being dealt with for myself.

I sit here still wondering how I could not have realized more so as to where my ex was at.
Wondering why he had to act out in violence and rage the way he did one year ago today.
Why it was so important for him to push me and all the children away with such extreme measures.
Why could he just not simply say that he wanted out and we move onto separate paths in peace and harmony, working together for the greatest good of all the children and each other.

I knew he was unhappy in our relationship.
I knew he wanted out.
He did not even desire to want to spend 30 minutes a week with me alone even though this had become a consistent request and desire of mine. He could not stomach to sit by me and watch TV, he wanted nothing to do with cuddling or sex that was two sided, only wanted to get off and be done. Would roll away in disgust after pushing me away like trash after he had reached climax.
He became rageful with friends and emotionally and physically aggressive toward his step-children. He was hateful and I told myself that he was stressed about work, money, health, anything but the truth was what I proclaimed.

The signs were there.
They were in front of my blind eyes and desire to make it all work for us.
The more committed I became to our relationship and requested time and connection,
the more he pushed away in anger.

And now,
a year later I see the truth.
I see his pattern that he had to enforce.
I see the pain that he must be in.
And I am grateful that even though that was a brutal time and experience,
even though there is still much healing that needs done for self and children.

I am grateful that I never lost who I was,
I never lost love,
I never lost my family or friends,
and I can do the healing and I understand at a deep level the power of emotions,
the importance of knowing self and NOT hiding from myself and feelings.
I am grateful that I was given a powerful opportunity last year to stand up and be 100% me.
The last year has offered me so many blessings that would have never come about had he not caved to his patterns and needs to push love away, to push so hard that he was the one to be abandoned in the experience by everyone. To repeat the trauma from his youth. And to create an experience that supported his belief that the feminine always leaves him.

I see now how he had to push that hard.
I am too stubborn to leave when I still love.
I believed it could be fixed,
I believed that he was not lying when he said that he loved me more than anyone else.
I strangely believed in us and in him.

But today,
today I stand in gratitude for the 7 years of learning,
of experience and growth,
for the birth of my two youngest angels that i would not trade for anything.

Today I stand here in gratitude for his push.
Busted up body and everything,
it was worth it.
Because I found my true strength.
I found my heart.
My SOUL.
And tapped into allowing myself, to be me without needing another.
There is great beauty in the darkest of clouds if you allow yourself to see it and you allow time to step you back far enough to see the whole sky and it’s beauty.

Life is one BIG TRUST EXERCISE.
And today,
I am reminded of the trust and faith that I had to muster up at one of my lowest, scariest points in life so far.
Today, I choose to focus on that reminder.
To focus on the gratitude and the opportunities that have come from this event, like any event in our lives.
Today I choose to look at my blessed life.
The steady massive love that I experience from family, friends and the wonderful man I have in my life currently.
The AMAZING tribe that I have developed and all the growth that I am seeing in my business and life.
The wealth of connection, joy and the laughter that resides in my home daily that was not there a year ago or before.
My creativity at an all time high.
The beauty and bounty that is in each step on this journey.

Today I want to say THANK YOU to the man that tossed me to the side last year, who tried to destroy me and all that we had built together.
From that rubble grew a rose garden.

MY ROSE GARDEN.

Thank you for my pain.
Thank you for my suffering.
Thank you for the trauma.
Thank you for the goodbye.
I am so effing happy with my life TODAY!

My question to you that I share this with today is,
what are you doing with your trauma, drama and pain? Does it hold you back or build you up?

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.

I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.

But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.

Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.

Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.

What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?

You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

Why Is She So Perfect?

Radiant.
Glowing.
Smiling and happy.
 
Why is she so perfect?
In love with life,
and life is in love with her.
The gift of life.
The gift of joy,
of family, community and love.
The gift to be able to provide a moment to those she loves.
 
Yes she is so perfect.
She is you and you are her.
She lives within your soul.
She asks to be seen,
more of then all that you often choose to share.
Her light,
her wisdom,
her happiness.
Desire to be seen.
Her heart wants nothing more than your embrace,
To touch and love,
to sing and dance.
 
Yes she is so perfect.
 
That angelic light, radiating from deep within.
It hides nothing,
reveals everything.
and is ignited by life.
Her wings are bold,
their spread is wide.
They carry her hopes, her dreams and aspirations.
They protect and nurture,
they support and shield.
Her wings,
are yours.
Embrace them and fly.
 
Why is she so perfect?
She is you and you are her.
United forever but must be revealed.
The soul of an angel,
the passion of a beast.
The wisdom of sages,
the courage of a warrior.
 
Why is she so perfect?
I will tell you her secret.
I will share right here.
 
She is perfect.
Yes indeed.
Because she is WHO YOU ARE.
She is SOUL.
She is TRUTH.
But to listen beautiful,
you must allow.
You must surrender and learn to love once again.
You must open and be flexible,
you must not desire to hide no more.
You must find your FAITH once more,
to spread those wings,
to shine that light.
You must step into WHO YOU ARE.
 
She is perfect.
She is you and you are her.
A divine and beautiful creature.
When tapped in and turned on,
You Ignite this dark World
You bring hope and joy to all those you touch,
they flock to you,
they hunger to hear your words,
to be touched by your message
and lifted up to theirs.
 
Yes, she is perfect.
because she is daring.
Because she loves true.
Because she knows herself.
Because she fears but does not hide.
Because she doubts but does not quit.
Because she looks into her eye’s,
she see’s her pain,
she see’s her fear,
she’ rests in FAITH.
 
She is perfect.
She is you and you are her.
But First beautiful,
YOU MUST BELIEVE.
 
Rest in your surrender to SOUL.
Find comfort in your raw vulnerability.
Passion in your courage and fear.
And footing in the LEAP YOU ARE TAKING.
 
Leap Beautiful,
Leap and free fall,
for your wings were designed to catch you,
you and this dark world,
that you are meant to lift up.
To share.
To teach.
To spread the light and love.
Yes leap beautiful.
 
Leap and Trust in Your Wings.
 
——————— 🙌 ——————————–
 
This picture I share today is a snipped pic from a video that my daughter took two years ago. She put the title of “Why is she so Perfect” on the video and across the stream. To feel my daughters love and adoration like this is one thing, but my realization in her share of this memory is one I had to share with YOU today.
 
I write this message above for me.
I write it for you too beautiful.
Female or male, ‘we are all beautiful.
We are all worthy.
We all have a message.
And my message never changes to you.
 
It STAND UP, SPEAK OUT, and THRIVE.
 
Accept your worth.
Accept your power.
Accept WHO YOU ARE.
 
 
And Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Imagine letting go of your fear,
letting go of your shame.
What would your life be like if you were working with a mentor that could help you level up your life and let go of all those things that no longer serve you?
What would you like to release? Let go of and create for your EMPOWERED Life?
 
Let’s talk.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Coaching today.
 
 
 
 

Let Your Light Shine Mama!!!!

Motherhood.
Woman-hood.
Womb-man-hood.
 
We are creators.
We are lovers.
We are sensual and strong.
Vulnerable and edgy.
Nurturing is at our core.
As divine creators of miracles,
of life itself we tap into the energy of the universe and we become one with God in these moments.
But we can access this power every day of our lives, beautiful!
 
I see so many women in this world, shutting themselves off from the juiciness that is theirs for the enjoyment.
Fearing that if they allow themselves to be seen,
to be heard and experienced as the sensual women that they long to be,
that they will be perceived as something that they have no desire be.
 
The trauma and pain that is held within the female mass ego is something that needs light revealed upon it. It is not just something of this day and age but of the last few thousand years.
 
But beautiful, it is up to you and I and all of our sister’s to heal the mass ego of women.
 
We do this by taking on the mission within ourselves first. We do this with our desire to have a F-ck YES! Life.
To let our purpose shine bright.
To let our divine feminine energy flow in it’s own unique authentic way.
We do this by letting our music, our talents, our voices, our love be seen and felt.
 
When we step into being our AUTHENTIC RADIANT SELVES we shine bright.
 
The world, other women even, may try and cause us to doubt, to hide this beauty but it just the mass ego’s pain and fear protecting itself. In an attempt to protect us, and not realizing that it is hindering and hiding our greatness, our power.
 
We DO NOT GAIN OUR POWER by destroying the masculine.
We do not recover who we are by male bashing.
We do not make what has been wrong right by doing what has been done in return.
 
No.
 
We help our men by raising them in respect.
We help change our world by teaching both our daughters and son’s that we are all humans and deserving of respect and love. We teach our youth to love themselves and to love others. This is spoken of but not lived, therefore not experienced or taught.
 
Remember that words do not teach.
Experience does.
 
To heal our world,
we must heal both feminine and masculine.
We must exhibit self- love and respect.
We must respect our differences.
We learn to speak our truth.
Our needs, our boundaries and honor another’s as well.
This does not mean to give what is not in alignment to self.
It means to simple see another for the beautiful soul that they are,
the path they are on,
the healing that they need.
And support them by being authentically us.
Standing firm in WHO YOU ARE.
 
 
 
Today is mothers day.
Whether you are a mommy or not,
this message goes out to you beautiful.
This message is about YOU.
It is a CALL TO ACTION to step the f-ck up and NEVER DIM YOUR LIGHT!
 
It is a CALL TO YOUR SOUL –
to scream your worth,
to claim who you are,
to never lean away in fear of yourself.
To keep expressing.
To keep being beautiful in all the ways that you are.
Do not hide.
Do not feel shame or guilt.
In who you are.
 
Allow yourself to be soft.
To be powerful.
Allow yourself to receive.
The abundance,
the love,
the blessings.
They are all around you lovely.
Open and receive them.
 
Only your shut down blocks them.
 
It is time for YOU BEAUTIFUL to STEP INTO WHO YOU ARE.
 
Don’t accept the excuses,
the reasons or fears,
turn away from the doubt.
 
You ROCK!
You are WORTHY.
You are BEAUTIFUL.
 
This world NEEDS YOUR POWER and INFLUENCE.
 
Authentically Be You.
 
And remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living!
 
Happy Mother’s Day to everyone! This morning I woke up with an even BIGGER desire to GIVE.
I want all of you lovely women to be able to do the inner work, the mindset training and abundance training.
You are so deserving of greatness beautiful!
 
And gents who follow me and desire to learn more, to empower yourself and support the feminine I am GIFTING to you as well.
 
For 24 hours ONLY!!! I am celebrating Mother’s Day and gifting you with never seen before 50% off of ALL of my best home study programs and courses!!!!
 
WARNING!!!! There may be too many to desire here. All powerful downloads for your growth and expansion in love, life, and success.
 
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Feel Good Now the Only Secret You Ever Need
O-Face
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Not Your Average Joe – Tantric Skills for Men
His, Hers and Ours
It’s Complicated for Couples
The Ying – Yang of F-ck Yes Life Bootcamp
Ass In The Sand Workshop for Entrepreneurs
Stop F-cking Around – 10 Days of Alignment A*s Kickery
 
 
That is a lot of savings for the next 24 hours!!!!
Grab your home study program or course NOW
 

If You Were Ready Then It Would Be Happening! Here is What To Do.

I know what you want.
I totally get it beautiful.
You want to just skip to the finish line.
You want to avoid the struggle,
avoid the work.
Move quickly past all that stuff that you keep getting told you need to do but that you have been doing,
you did it all last year,
the year before even.
And this year it is simply just too much to do more of that.
So much like a kid fresh out of high school,
the temptation of taking a year off from schooling,
with the claims of coming back,
you too are wanting to just take some time off.
 
Yet, life seem’s to be nagging at you.
Life is disrupted,
you are getting more and more out of alignment.
And with the turbulence that you face day after day,
you feel more drained.
There is no energy to do the things that you think about doing.
There is no time to get started on that project,
to step into the things that you were doing or the things that you know that you need to be doing or that you feel called to do.
It’s all just so difficult.
You feel meh about it.
 
Don’t you?
 
But then as you sit back and you look at everything,
you wonder how,
how can I go from here to there?
How can I do it without having to apply myself any more than what I have already done?
How can I get what I want,
have what I desire,
but not have to go through the grounds of learning anymore.
 
I mean I am good right where I am at.
I can do that.
I can do this.
I may not understand what I am to do with any of it,
I might be feeling lost,
and uncertain.
But do I really need to ask for help?
Do I really need guidance of any sort?
Do I really need to “learn” or “study” for anything else?
 
And so you sit.
You sit and you wish.
You ponder.
You question.
But take action????
 
LOL…
That was a thing for last year.
 
This year, action is taking a break.
And with it so is your momentum.
You are certainly filling up your desire boat with things you want.
You are learning about what you do not want.
But action is out to sea and is not in your scope of concern yet.
 
And so you shall sit and watch your life move by in slow motion.
You will see your goals rise up and sink back down,
because the momentum that was there to manifest them is slowing. The focus and love and care that you were giving them in positive attention is not there.
It cannot be there.
Your focus is on the not having of them.
Your focus is on what is not happening.
Your focus is on your lostness.
Your dismay.
Your fatigue.
Your fear.
You mehness.
 
Try and truly feel into that desire for whatever it is that you crave. Can you feel the desire? Can you really?
Or is it just a thought that has you believing that you are desiring, but there is no emotion attached to it?
Or the emotion is of the not having it.
The sadness of what has not shown up in your life.
It’s time to get truthful with yourself.
It’s time to realize that the reality that you are living is nothing more than what you have created from your feeling of not wanting to step in fully.
Of wanting to just take the year off.
To avoid it.
 
Life is just fine as it is right now, right?
 
If that was so, then you would not have that underlying feeling.
You know the feeling that I speak of.
The feeling that is slowly eating away at you from deep within.
That feeling.
Yes that feeling right there.
the one that you try and cover up,
you try and hide with food, movies, entertainment, family activities, alcohol, drugs, illness, busy work.
Yes that feeling.
 
You cannot hide your feeling from God.
God knows you at a DNA vibrational level.
There is no hiding your truth.
That fear,
that depression,
those negative idea’s and thoughts that just keep popping up and destroying your day,
yes they are all over you beautiful.
You are bathed in them and they are repulsive.
They are keeping you away from your desired life experience.
 
But if you want to change it,
then you are the ONLY ONE who can change it.
You must choose to take ACTION.
Stop sitting there in that low vibe energy beautiful,
stop focusing on the addictive energy of crashing and burning, of loosing and leaving, of not having.
Stop focusing in on all that you do not see manifesting.
And TAKE effing action toward what you want.
 
You say you want to have a thriving business?
Then get a mentor. Get your message out there DAILY.
Be seen and heard or shut up and let go of this dream.
 
You say you want a better body?
Then stop eating fast food and soda, drink more water, eat more healthy foods and get your a*s working out DAILY.
 
You say that you want better sex?
Then start having more sex. Speak your needs, your boundaries and ASK for what you want DAILY.
 
You say that you want to find your soulmate?
Then look within and do some deep work on yourself. Get a coach or a mentor and gain some clarity, let go of the past, do the work to manifest the soulmate DAILY.
 
You say you want more money?
Then stop thinking about the money that you do not have.
Don’t start your day with looking at your bank and confirming that you don’t have it. Instead do the mindset work, the manifestation work to call in the money that you want. Get a coach or a mentor and ask for help DAILY.
 
It’s a choice.
It’s a commitment.
It’s you calling it in.
We live in an attraction based world beautiful.
You attract to you what you think and feel about most.
You want what you want,
but you seem to be under the misconception that you can just ignore it, just not do anything to change your thinking,
your feeling or attention and that it will happen.
Yes life is magical,
yes you can manifest that shiz overnight.
But you have to FOCUS on what you want from a place of having, loving and not in fear.
 
It’s about time that you stop wanting to avoid the stretch.
It time you stop avoiding the field of learning and growing that makes you READY to have what you want.
 
Think of it like this,
It’s sorta like you want to be a yoga teacher but you never want to take a yoga class. You just want to get paid and have the body without the training.
 
That is goofy right?
 
Yet that is what you are doing when you try and skip any piece of your process.
When you try and avoid the perceived pain,
the perceived stretching that will be required of you to gain your dreams and desires.
 
In your current condition,
YOU ARE NOT READY TO RECEIVE.
 
But you can be!
Make the choice.
Make the decision.
Make the commitment.
And TAKE THE EFFING ACTION.
 

Stop F-cking around with this year and your life!

 
And remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
 
It’s not too late to reach out and get the coaching and mentoring that you need to have that F-ck Yes! lifestyle and live in total yumminess. You have been wanting to step up and have the money, love, health, wellbeing and abundance that you have been dreaming about.
 
So stop dreaming and take action.
Let’s make 2019 YOUR Year of Miracles.
 
Grab my application for FREE consultation for coaching and mentoring NOW before the offer expires on May 22nd, 2019. A $199 value FREE – Must book your consult on or before deadline date. I work with people all over the world!!!!
 
https://www.tantrictransformation.com/services-request-form/

Until you DO THIS THING you will never succeed in any area you want. Jacked but true!

What if I told you that the one thing you are sitting around and contemplating,
the one thing that you are procrastinating on,
and have been this whole time,
is the THING.
 
The THING that until you deal with it,
until you put your head down and JUST DO,
until you STOP the insanity of attempting to ignore it,
when your SOUL is screaming,
begging and doing everything it can,
to get you to pay attention and JUST DO IT.
Is holding you back.
 
Yes beautiful!
 
This THING,
and you know the thing.
You know you know the thing.
 
Until you do the THING,
you will not have success anywhere else.
 
That is a hard pill to swallow.
And you may say, but the thing is so small.
The thing has NOTHING to do with anything else.
The thing is unimportant.
The thing cannot have that big of an impact on my life.
No the thing,
it cannot be that THING.
That is just silly.
 
But what if….
Seriously now,
what if this thing IS the reason that you are struggling so damn hard in the areas of your life that you are?
 
What if the procrastination,
the excuses,
the fears and worries about this thing,
and the avoidance of doing this thing,
is truly enough kink in your abundance hose,
your ability to manifest the life that you want in all areas.
To make it seem like you are not worthy.
Not good enough.
Not whatever….
 
What if it’s like setting the coordinates of an airplane off by one degree?
 
Can you imagine where a plane would end up if that happened.
 
One degree over the course of time,
just a short period of time at that,
would make the planes destination completely change.
The goal may be New York,
but they might land in Beijing.
And what challenges would come of this one degree difference on the set path?
Perhaps not having enough gas.
Among many other issues.
And then they would land at a destination they were not wanting.
 
Yes, beautiful.
What if you thought about the THING that you have been procrastinating on like this.
What if you just for a few days, a month or whatever time needed to see results, changes happen, did a little experiment with this THING.
 
What if….
What if you just did the THING?
 
Crazy.
 
What if you did the thing,
and in doing the thing,
all your other things,
magically fixed themselves.
The things you wanted to manifest,
just happened to manifest with ease.
 
What if because you no longer were procrastinating about this thing,
were no longer running from it,
hiding from it,
as if it were some monster,
that you looked in the mirror now with confidence.
With certainty.
With love.
 
What if this very THING,
is what is holding you back from THRIVING beautiful?
What if it is the ONLY effing reason that you are not living the life that you want right now?
 
Is this thing worthy of stealing your greatest life ever?
It is worth you sacrificing your joy,
your love,
your abundance over?
 
Is it?
 
Well is it?
 
Go and ponder this thing today beautiful.
Look at it truly and ask yourself if it is that big of a mountain to climb,
that scaring of a feat to tackle,
that enormous of whatever the eff it is,
that you are going to continue even for the rest of this beautiful day,
full of life and opportunity,
allow….
 
Allow it to take away everything that you desire and want for yourself.
 
You have the power beautiful.
It is nothing more than a choice.
It is your choice.
No one else’s.
 
You cannot keep making the excuses that you have been making and avoiding this thing any longer,
if you step into listening to that beautiful heart of yours.
You say that you are committed.
You say that you really want it.
You are doing all the work that it takes.
You are so focused.
So motivated.
So brilliant.
 
But beautiful,
your f-cking it all up.
 
By NOT doing this thing!
 
So take a big breath right now,
stand up from where you are at,
and take no more crap from yourself.
 
And do the THING that you have been procrastinating on all this time.
 
Destroy what is holding you back,
by stepping into yourself that much more.
 
Bye bye avoidance.
Bye bye procrastination.
Hello SOUL.
Hello manifestation.
 
You are magic.
 
And remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to take that step?
I sure hope that you have come to realize that this fence that you are sitting on is not a fence of safety,
but a fence of saying no to self,
saying no to your dreams and desires and living the way God intended on you living.
THRIVING.
 
Yes BABY.
It is time that you decide..
Learn more in depth about 1:1 Elite Coaching for a F-ck Yes! Life.
 

Not All Gifts Are Gifts, You See.

I got this for you.
I got you this thing.
I got you this thing that I had to get you.
I am sure you will love it.
I know you will.
I got this for you.
It’s my favorite,
and is your’s now too.

Oh you said that you like that.
And so I it is true.
That now all you want,
is this thing.
Over and over,
I will never venture out.
I am not looking at what you say,
or do,
all I can focus on is making sure that you have this thing till you want it no more.

I love you.
I like you.
I adore you.
I cannot get enough of you.
And so it must be so,
that you too,
feel this thing I am feeling,
and want it as much.

I desire this to happen,
I crave it so much,
My mind wants to devour you,
as my body wants to taste and feel.
I cannot hear your words of denial,
I cannot allow myself to pay heed,
no you,
you must want this too.

It is a gift that I give you.
And even though you say no,
I know that you want this.
Because it is true.

Your words are like nails on a chalk board,
why do you argue with me?
Your silence is deafening,
why don’t you give thanks for all that I do?

It must mean more to you.
I must be with you.
I know that you feel something,
you say it is nothing,
you say it cannot be so.
But,
I love you.
I adore you.
I want more of you.
So it is this way.

My desire has me blinded.
My hunger has me deaf.
My heart pains at your denial,
so I will show you,
yes I will.

I know that you will love it.
I know it will be so.
Just give me this moment.
To absorb all you are.
Stop making such a big deal of it.
Why are you hiding over there?
I know that you will love it.
So let me show you my dear.

You make me feel so alive.
You make me smile with your presence.
You make me feel superhuman,
so accept this gift I am giving.
Accept this “love” I am offering.
Stop denying it.
You know you want it.
You know you love it.
You like it.
You want it.
You do.
—————————————————————————

A tale I hardly speak of is the tale of being a rape survivor,
however I wish to express this today as when I walk through this world, I see so many rapes in so many different fashions.

The above is a share that was activated by a trigger from someone in my life recently.

Although there was no harm done,
although I am certain that there was no intent of such,
not even a trigger.
I find it my mission, to speak out loud and have a voice for all those who cannot.

So bare with me here,
as what I am saying may possibly cause you ill feelings,
for your guilt as much as any other human for the rape offenses that we all have made and played down without notice to the messages of ego shared.

No matter what it is.
No matter the gift.
Realize this…
Not all gifts are gifts you see,
for a gift can only truly be received in love when the receiver desires the gift,
wants for it some way,
or truly is something that speaks their name.
But, many a gift has nothing to do with the receiver,
and everything to do about the giver,
who longs to be seen.
To be accepted.
To be loved.
At all cost they will go.
Not noticing the one that they love.
They place their hunger before the heart of another.

No matter the event,
no matter the intimacy shared.
If it is not two sided in wanting,
then it is nothing more than a taking.
You think it is romantic,
you think is sweet,
you think is no big deal,
but when we steal an intimacy with another,
we ignore all that they are.
We crave more for our desire.
We fear more about our pain,
our rejection of not getting,
of not having or experiencing,
what we want is all that matters,
and so we paint a picture of what will be and ignore all the strokes of anything different.

A kiss,
a hug,
a tender touch you see.
All can be innocent and precious,
but when not wanted they are a trespass.
Just as the gift that one might give that is not desired,
can be nothing more than a nuisance.
A problem you see.
We trespass others in so many ways.
From touches to things.

Be aware is all that is stated here.
A lesson for me and you.
We all are guilty of taking.

Ask yourself this,
“This action, this thing, these words that I share: are they from my desire to have what I want or give what is wanted?”

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Level up your life.
Level up your relationships.
Explore 1:1 elite coaching or Passion Coaching for Couples today. Applications available now.

 

Why I always called my ex-husband after having HIGH VIBE sex….

Why I always called my ex-husband after having HIGH VIBE sex….

Say WHAT?🤯
Okay today I am going to share an intimacy tale with you that I have shared with very few, but it is time for me to be vulnerable and share this as so often we are guilty of doing this very thing in different ways.

Let me paint you a picture.🌃

” My hands take his face and pulls him close for a kiss that not only is connective but penetrates my heart and soul. Our breath intertwines in this moment and becomes one. I can feel our souls dancing in this celebration of love and my body opens to him. My legs soften and open wider, my pelvis tilts as I pull him in. I can feel him enter me and we both gasp with pleasure from the sensation that pours through our beings, the sensation of coming home.

He moves his body in gentle thrusts while holding me. Hand in my hair, hand on my hip. My hips and whole body fluidly moves with each of his thrusts as we gaze deeply into each others eyes, amazed at how connected we are; how our hearts long to orgasm into rapture with each other. He presses deeper into my pussy as though he want to touch my heart with his cock. His pelvis rubs on my clit, his breath comes down on my neck and with each stroke I feel myself surrendering at intense levels. My pussy now wants to devour him, wants to swallow him as she pulls him to the deepest levels possible and the head of his cock rubs gently on my cervix.

Minutes turn into hours, orgasmic waves roll through my whole being and force me into greater ecstasy as he fiercely but gently fucks me open. Here we are two flesh’s, two hearts, two souls yet married together through our sexing. The spiritual dance and penetration that we give to each other is untouchable. Our breathing becomes united, my pussy clenches then pushes, quivers then squirts its sweet amrita. His cock becomes harder in these moments and the vibrations of his love expand out and penetrate my pelvis. I can feel the intensity of his love and the orgasmic energy coming up my spine. He pulls me in, holds my hands down and firmly whispers his demand in my ear, “ Give me your orgasm.“

“Give me your orgasm. Give it to me. I want to feel you cum on my cock.”

My body quivers, my breathing becomes short and tense for a moment. The building of climax that was there, is now at its peak. I can feel the sharpness of orgasm trying to escape from my clit as he rubs across it. My nipples are swollen and his chest hair is almost to much sensation, but as they tickle my flesh the shaking of my thighs and pussy bursts into bliss. Air is released from my mouth, my chest softens, my hands drop down to the bed and he continues to stroke.

Each stroke although soft and delicate in this moment does not let me relax but keeps my orgasm in a soft wave where he can play me like an instrument beneath him to his will and desire. Where he can command me with his divine masculine to give him my orgasm. Over and over again, he strokes me into submission.”

Okay so you get the picture, right?
It was hot.
It was intense.
It was f-cking AMAZING!
It was passionate, present, INTIMATE and HIGH VIBE!
So much so that with this particular lover,
we were in such alignment,
the love was so deep and penetrative,
we had many moments where the smell of roses would waft up from our love making as though were making love in a bed of them.

Not a rose in sight…🌹🌹🌹
Though???

~That is HIGH VIBE SEX~

Now here is where things get interesting though.
Here is where I sorta loose my mind.

After such a deeply intimate high vibe experience with my lover,
for a few years I felt drawn to call my ex-husband while driving home from my lovers house back to mine.

Crazy huh?
Yet there,
it was no matter the hour of the day or night,
I would find myself being guided off to call my ex.
Logically I would tell myself,

“You are on top of the world right now. You need to check in with him in regards to the children or what have you ANYWAY, and RIGHT NOW nothing can get you down. You can handle his low energy, and can maybe even give him a positive boost. Call.”

And so I would call him.

And we would speak. And we would talk about what ever.
He quickly picked up on the fact that I was calling after being with this particular lover who would have my heart and soul hanging from the heavens in ecstasy and I think he got to a point where he consciously allowed himself to bask in that turned on, pumped up HIGH VIBE I was offering.

But what it took me a few years to grasp was WHY I was being called to reach out to him after having these powerful emotional, sexual, energetic experiences with my lover?

You see, after I got about three quarts of the way in on a phone call to my ex-husband, my HIGH VIBE would not be nearly as HIGH.

My turned on state would not be turned on, it would be maybe comfortable, happy but not ecstatic any longer.

My focus, my clarity and creativity that the love making had opened up to me would dissipate.

I was in an essence GIVING MY POWER.
My ORGASM.
MY TURNED ON ENERGY.
MY HIGH VIBE away for free to him.

So why would I do this?
Its crazy.

I did it because as much as I enjoyed all that I was feeling,
all the creative flow and open heartedness. The spiritual alignment.

I was UNCOMFORTABLE holding this energy in my being.
It was still foreign to feel so good.

I almost had shame wrapped up around my feel good.
Guilt in the fact that I was so happy, turned on, orgasmic.
As though I did not deserve it.

And because FEELING GOOD was so hard to hold in my body, I did what I had to do to get back into my comfort zone. I drained myself.

And this is the point I want to share with you today.

So often we humans are more comfortable with LOW VIBE than HIGH VIBE.

We may question ourselves or others as to,

“Why are you so happy?”

We make statements such as,
“What have you been smoking?”

If someone brags a little too much about themselves or shows a little too much pride in something of theirs our response is,

“Think much of yourself?”

We have been programmed to believe that being to happy,
being in love with ourselves,
being proud of ourselves,
is bad.

Thus when we access these higher levels of vibration,
energy, emotion, alignment,
we feel uncomfortable.
We look for what is wrong with it.
We expect the bottom to drop out.
For it to be hoax.
Or something.
It cannot be right, true or our norm.

And so, before we can experience a let down.
Before it is taken from us.
We subconsciously look for ways to off set it.
To level ourselves out.

When if we wanted to grow ourselves,
to be more comfortable in HIGH VIBE,
and live an ecstatic life,
that F-ck YES! Life I am always preaching about,
what one would need to do,
would instead of letting the energy out in some way,
would be to HOLD the experience.

Hold the FEELING.
Hold the EMOTION.
Hold the DESIRE to SHARE.
Hold speaking.

Build up your ENERGETIC Muscles you could say.
GROW your SPIRITUAL BODY.

And in growing your spiritual body and energetic muscles,
you get more and more comfortable with HIGH VIBE Living.

You grow to expect it.
To desire it.
And guess what?

You start to manifest more of it.
Because it becomes your norm.

And whatever your normal is,
Is exactly what you get more of.
Because it is what you expect to get.

Where are you draining your HIGH VIBE?

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Why are you settling for a small lifeless life? Are you sitting back night after night, watching Netflix and the news, playing games on Facebook and scrolling through your feed, wishing that you knew what to do and how to achieve something MORE. In the back of your mind is there a small voice whispering that it is possible, but the world around you is screaming that it is absurd to want anything other than what you already have?

So do you continue on with your lifeless life and allow the beauty of what could be, to be stripped away from your soul yet another year?

Living for the weekends.

Living for the holidays.

Living for that 2 weeks of vacation.

Living for the 5 o’clock hour where we can dart off to our local little watering hole and sit with others who are in the same constricting shoes of this life.

This is NOT Orgasmic Freedom Based Living!

This sure the effing is NOT!

We have grown so comfortable to reside here in hell. We actually have brainwashed ourselves to BELIEVE that this is what living is. We have come to terms with the supposed facts of this delusional state of existing and many of us have no clue how to live outside of this illusion.

So we sign another year long lease and get comfortable in our suffering.

It does not have to be this way though. At any given moment in time we have the ability and choice to WAKE THE F*CK UP! and choose differently. God gave us free will so that we could overcome the evils of this land. The only thing asked of us is to BECOME CONSCIOUS. This is the only step needed to turn the corner to a new life and RECEIVE all the blessings that you crave.

YES! all you have to do to live in orgasm every day and in every moment is to become conscious and choose differently.

You must choose the higher ground which is the ground of not accepting a small life. Not accepting AVERAGE and ORDINARY. Not accepting what the evils of the world would have you believe is living.

Explore Feel Good Now!

 

*Thank you Photographyinwonderland. for the photoshoot

((Don’t Dry F-ck Your Woman’s Emotions – Rare Is The Man Who Understands This))

Dry F-cking My Emotion’s.
This is the statement of today that resonates it’s eerie truth about my heart and soul. And if it lingers and speaks to me,
I am sure that it will call to many others as well.
 
((The Depths Of The Goddess Can Only Be Revealed In Trust – Rare Is The Man Who Understands This))
 
We open ourselves up,
full body, mind and soul.
We awaken in beauty,
ready to receive love and be love,
and we long to dance.
We want to be breathless in the arms of our lover.
We want to be carried away.
At a woman’s core,
there is something that know’s that it wants her lover to take her.
Take her not in some dominant fashion of control.
But take her into her depths,
where she can open,
surrender and devour life more fully.
We know that we have this inside of us.
We feel our passion,
our truth,
our goddesshood,
but to fully tap in we must venture out into the seas of the unknown.
We must trust.
We must be willing to expand,
reveal and surrender.
These waters that we must dive into allow our true beauty to be seen and felt,
are filled with emotion,
filled with desire,
filled with our dreams, hopes and fears.
These are the waters of vulnerability.
Where a woman can only venture when she fully trusts at a deep level her lover and herself.
 
However, when she does expand into these pools of deep soul and reveal herself she offers more than just a vision of ecstasy.
She offers her truth.
She offers her core.
She gives her very heart over and trusts that it will be adored and loved as much as she is loving her mate.
Here her lover will experience what he may never have known existed.
Here her lover may see beauty that only he had read about once upon a time in a poem or fable.
Here he will feel himself,
at a level that he has never tasted before.
And he will find it intoxicating.
 
Not knowing exactly how he arrived in this strange land of the divine feminine,
he finds himself in a candlelit setting,
a room where his soul has always wanted to be,
but uncertain as to his worthiness of being there,
he may question it or not even truly see where he is at.
 
As he dances with her,
swimming beside her in these emotions of love and freedom, fire and passion, he fears what he has never tasted before and yet craves for more.
Until he can handle no more.
These waters are strange,
they are dark and light,
he is uncertain at to where the tides will carry him,
and often he chooses to abandon the dance before he is carried too far out from his shore of comfort.
And so,
without even trying he finds himself asking for her depth.
Asking her to reveal more of her beauty.
Asking her to trust him more fully.
To allow him to carry her.
Hold her.
And go deeper.
But doing so as he swims away.
Back further and further he swims.
With each backward stroke he moves himself away.
Wondering why she turns around.
Why her beauty is fading.
Why her truth is harder to hear.
And as they drift apart,
he remembers her not any more as the goddess that opened him to his rapture,
he no longer longs to dive into her waters and explore or caverns of mystery,
he no longer desires to discover what lies beneath and makes her swirl.
No he quickly forgets her mystery.
He looses himself in the comforts of what he had known before.
Where life was just about the shore.
Where he sat and looked out at the waters,
unable to feel them.
 
And the goddess,
left to drown in her own waters,
seeing the dryness of his shoreline,
realizes how he will never truly be able to hold her.
Never truly be able to carry her heart.
For the sand can never hold water forever.
It can only appear too.
and then it will sink.
Sink into its own space.
And rest there.
 
The goddess finds herself.
Because this is the only one who can ever hold her.
Who can carry her.
She knows of the beauty of love,
she craves it all the same.
As deeply as the pain may bury itself in her heart,
she knows of its bliss.
She loves its dance.
She will never stop searching the shorelines.
 
And as these shore’s cut into her waters,
asking for her depth,
wanting her to reveal all the mysteries in freedom to them,
she moves forward,
swallowing them up for moments and sending them back to the land they call home,
leaving them with a faint memory.
A calling from her soul.
And she searches.
Searches for the ONE.
The ONE that can swim in her waters.
The ONE that can watch the sunset and rise on her waters,
bask in her reflection,
never tire of her expanding depth,
never run from her tide pools,
never sink into his fear.
 
Rare is the man who understands this truth of a woman.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to learn more about how to reveal your woman’s heart and soul?
 
Want to understand the true nature of a woman?
What opens her up?
Turns her on?
And draws her near?
Well then gentlemen,
Don’t wait for her storms to devour you.

You Have Not Earned Her Depth! ( Guest Author Post)

You can’t jump right in!

You have to make her feel you
You have to slowly earn her trust
You have to stroke her heart until she opens

And when you think she is open and you have found your way in… keep going because you’re not even halfway there.

There are a million barriers and blocks that are still in place and your ability to hold her in every sense of the word, earn her true trust, and expand her heart are the only way past these walls.

You think that because you’ve had her body that you have her heart. You are a fool.

You haven’t even tasted a drop of her sexual depth and you won’t until you hold her…

I mean really hold her!
Stand in the heat of her fire and don’t run

You spout pretty words but these words mean nothing to a heart that has heard them before. The feminine doesn’t want your false promises. The feminine wants your presence, your truth, and to be explored in all ways.

You MUST keep the dance going.
You MUST keep diving deeper
You MUST throw her into ecstatic bliss outside of the bedroom as much as inside the bedroom.

You say you want her…. prove it.
You say you desire her… show it.
You say you hunger for her depth… then stop being lazy AF with her heart!

You can’t just walk into a woman’s world and expect her to give herself to you. The beauty of a woman is also her complexity. There are so many layers and they won’t be shown to you until you have proven yourself trustworthy to be shown these depths. And then…. SURPRISE!!! You will find more depths to be explored.

Let me share a quick story.

I was with a man that I had known lightly at an intimate level. In all honesty, we didn’t know each other at any great depth but the energy was intriguing and so we explored.

Though in conversation one day he told me he wanted me to share the depths with him of things that had been going on… to trust him, to rip my heart open for him, to see behind my walls.

I got PISSED!!! Yes, I was severely angry at this moment.

How DARE he ask this of me!!!
He hadn’t done a bit of work to earn my heart.
What made him think he was worthy of my trust when there was no stroking at all.

He wanted to “Dry F*ck” my emotions.
No thank you!
That doesn’t sound pleasant.

So I could be left sore, bleeding, and damaged on the ground when he walked away for months not to speak to me again?

He spoke beautiful words
He was amazingly attractive
He was seductive in his touch
He was playful

But I wasn’t into games with my heart
And he didn’t put the effort in of truly stroking my depth
Allowing the true awakening of my arousal.

And if you drop a woman… you close her off even deeper and put your own barriers in the way.

This isn’t about sex… a woman can give you sex. We can easily go in and have what appears to be amazing sex but it’s only the tip of the iceberg of what you could have.

If you want her and I mean really and truly want her…
You have to be willing to go all in.
You have to take the time to open her up.
And I promise you that when you think she is opened to you, that there is more to still be explored.
And the second you stop exploring is the second you will be locked out of heaven!

Go explore your woman’s depth and I promise you will find your depth.
But unless you want to release her fire towards you…
Don’t expect or demand a depth you have not earned.
Yes, you have to earn it!

Sending you all …

Love, Light & Blessings,

Addison Bell