The Seemingly Meaningless Things.

Today I stayed in my nighty till 1pm.

Why? Because that’s what felt good for this moment.

Seems like a who the eff cares sorta thing, right?

Cuz’ it does not ultimately effect anything.
But that’s not true.

It effects everything.
Because its all about my vibe.
About how I am feeling right now.

The other day I was out at my community pool…
(And f-ck yes! We are happy our community is opening back up.)
And the water 💧 was so freaking cold.
My youngest two kids were yelping for me to get in the water and play and I was really not wanting too.
Willing yes.
But wanting…. not so much 😕.
I did want them to be happy.
I wanted to enjoy a fun moment with them.
But as I ventured into the cold depths of the pool I felt my body tense. My limbs tightened,
My heart  starting beating faster and I found myself holding my breath.

I was now constricting my energy.
I was withholding my truth.
I was locking myself up.
And I felt frustrated that I was in this coldness.
My ego instantly started to play its games with me…

“You need to smile and bear this, don’t let them see your pain, frustration, or lack of wanting to be here.”

“You have to do this.”
“F-ck! This is too cold. Wish they did not want to do this.”

And my emotion to these statements?

Bitterness.
Frustration.
Shut down.

And as I got splashed, and jumped on,
I grew sad because my body was hurting.
And I was feeling trapped.
I was feeling like I had no choice or that if I stated my truth that I would upset my loved ones.

Which was NOT the emotion that I started this afternoon with.
It was however the emotion I was choosing for this moment,
By the actions I was allowing myself to take that I was not a 💯 percent too.
And so….
I also, in this action 🎬 allowed my vibe 😎 to totally be changed.

And if left unacknowledged,
And consistent action to follow where I chose to what perhaps I was willing to do,
But not willing,
Then my mood would stay low vibe.
My emotions would be darker, full of blame,
Irritation, and…
My energy…
It would remain constricted like my body was feeling from the 🥶 cold.
I would remain tense to life.
Tense to my desires.
Tense to those I am around and love.
Tense to my truth.

And then you know what 😳 happens?

I end up magnitizing and manifesting more things into my life that cause me to remain constricted.

More things that I may be WILLING to do…
But am not WANTING to do.

And so instead of living this life the way I enjoy 😉 the most,
Which is in ease and flow,
With tons of laughter, play, connection, joy, love, abundance of good shit…

I would shut it all out.
Granted my little tale to you today is only that…
A tale.
It was a flicker of thought and emotion that went through my being and announced the path that I was potentially stepping on.
But I recognized it.
I saw what those seemingly meaningless thoughts and emotions were saying.

And so I got my booty out of the 🥶 cold.
I went and did what felt good.
Laying in the 🌞 sun.

And my week has been gentle with me.
Full of what I enjoy.

It could have been different.
And often people come to me with a desire to live their f-ck yes life, and they want to know HOW 🤔.

It always comes down to these seemingly meaningless moments.

These thoughts and emotions that are left uncensored,
And how they will lead us astray.

So if my tale speaks to you today.
Here is your HOW.
Here is what you MUST start to realize.
And what is most important.

Do what you enjoy.
Don’t be led astray by what you “think” you need to do to appear a certain way to anyone else,
Or to make someone else happy,
Especially if you are a F-CK NO!

Time to get really baby.
Time to know your truth.
Its with you always,
You just have to listen and act from there.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

Let’s do this thing luv.
You and me.
Stepping into who you really are and claiming your F-ck Yes!Life now.

Message me for deets.

Too Many Tabs Open Will Cause You To Stop Feeling Your Life.

I have too many tabs open.

I cannot compute any longer.

My breaker box is on overload and it’s causing me to numb out.

 

Just this morning I was explaining to my lover that I am a person who does not do well with a bunch of unfinished projects just sitting around. It causes me stress and if I cannot get them completed by myself, if they are out of my control then I end up numbing myself out to them and thus to life.

 

I love dreaming things into reality.

There is no better feeling than to witness the birth of a dream being realized.

 

I love seeing things being built.

Coming together,

watching the walls of a project go up and picking out all the little details to make it my own.

I love seeing something come into reality.

 

Don’t you?

 

It feels good.

It feels fulfilling.

It has a certain charge to it.

And it makes you want to explore more,

dream more, feel more, witness more.

 

But when you get too many tabs open,

you end up with chaos.

And I don’t know about you but when my outside world has too many projects to complete and I look around,

I feel overwhelmed and anxious.

I don’t know where to start and I start to doubt myself.

All my self sabotage programs come up and I start to hear the roar of you are not good enough, there is not enough of you to go around, get your shit together, you are messy, you are scattered, you are lost.

 

And to a degree these programs are damn f-cking correct.

 

I am feeling chaotic, lost and like there  is not enough of me to go around.

 

And so, I turn myself off to feeling it.

These thoughts create a mindset that I know at my core will not do me any favors, so it is best to just disconnect from them. Shut that shit down or go into a panic or a rage about the mess of life.

 

My head in these times gets so overloaded with thoughts and my internal check list is longer than you can imagine.

 

So I attempt to shut it all down and turn away from it.

But there is a mighty big issue with this attitude that I am prone to.

 

You see you don’t get to just shut down one feeling.

or one thought line.

You don’t get to just turn away from this one thing,

or detach from it and look another direction without the same distancing happening there too.

 

That background thought processor is on overdrive and it’s running crazy.

The checklist is flashing warning lights at you when you close your eyes.

And you wake up and what are you greeted with?

 

The chaos.

All the tabs that you left open that were draining your energy even though you closed the lid to the computer to let it rest.

 

Closing the lid,  or detaching yourself from the list of chaos that is causing you overwhelm and anxiety can work in short spurts IF…

 

IF you open back up shortly thereafter and get the shit taken care of.

 

But if you just bounce from project to project ( tab to tab)

and never finish it up you drain yourself and never allow yourself to shut fully down to recharge.

 

In this case recharging means,

projects complete to you can be PRESENT in the moment with whatever you are doing to relax, to step away, to charge yourself.

 

This includes your sex life,

playful events, dates, experiences and just chilling with the family or friends.

 

Lately, I have noticed that I have too many tabs open.

And it’s causing me to numb out to everything because I am burned out mentally and emotionally with things.

I am starting to feel the spin of constant thoughts that won’t leave me to rest no matter what I try to do to step away and give myself a break.

 

My mind is on hyper drive.

And without rest I am having trouble being present in my life,

in my sex, in my work, in my daily yoga or just watching a movie.

 

This lack of presence and hyperdrive of thoughts has the nasty effect of stunting desire.

And leaves you with a feeling of, “I am bored.”

 

And when you are bored and desireless,

you don’t have much motivation,

much turn on for life or love or creation,

you don’t really care because caring would start up those engines of anxiety and overwhelm and your tank is empty to why bother.

 

So hands go up to the heaven,

you drop to your knees,

leane back on the floor and say….

 

“F-ck It!”

 

Too many tabs open.

It’s not a great space.

But right now in our world, I believe that many of us are feeling this way. We have been busy entertaining ourselves with home repairs, projects galore, picking up extra work, etc, etc,

and we have been more aware of all the spots in our life that we are not satisfied, that perhaps we feel blaise, or that we are just settling, just getting by.

 

Our souls are not designed for blaise or getting by.

We were not born with the desire to settle in life.

We are all creators.

We are all born to LIVE.

 

So what is the answer to, too many tabs open and what it causes in the long haul?

 

Close the effing tabs!

Deal with your shit.

and then allow yourself a reboot.

Give your mental, emotional and physical bodies a break.

It does not take long to recharge,

but if you keep those tabs open and just go through the motions of taking a break then you are doing yourself a disservice.

 

Today I encourage you to take things off your mental list by delegating, writing it down and hiring out what you can. Looking at what you actually need to get done and what you “think” you need to get done and letting go of anything that is causing you mental or emotional stress that is NOT NEEDED.

Then DO THE DAMN THINGS that will clear your tabs.

Once that’s done, go find humor.

Go find play.

Laugh.

And make your work be about being present in your body.

You have not allowed yourself to embody yourself all this time because your internal space was taken up with chaos and overwhelm, but now you can.

 

Give yourself permission to breathe into YOU.

 

You are worthy of THRIVING.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Learn the secrets of rebooting your life and thriving with 1:1 global access coaching now. It’s time you started living fully.

Message me for deet’s on my private coaching now.

Speak Up Your Life.

Speak Your Vibe Up!
Speak it,
yell it,
talk about it.
You speak things into existence.
So be effing conscious of what you are manifesting.
The last few days I have been working with a bunch of people,
beautiful souls each and every one of them,
intelligent, courageous, strong, passionate, spiritual, loving people.
This is my tribe.
These are my clients.
And I am so proud of where each of them are and how they keep witnessing themselves and loving themselves into greatness.
However, the last few weeks there is a running theme.
And the theme is shitty talking,
I mean trash talk. Not smut talk, not crazy sexual talk,
but sheer trash thoughts that don’t make them feel good about life or self.
I see them getting caught up in loops of pain and suffering,
using terms such as,
“I can’t.”
“I tried.”
“I am stuck.”
And so many others.
These words are speaking them down.
Down in vibration.
Down in thought.
Down in emotion.
Down in movement and growth,
healing.
My response typically lands me a middle finger response or a “F – You!” as they don’t enjoy being told to STOP IT.
It’s not that easy to just STOP IT.
Beacuse these words are so natural and they are clarity based on relaity. There is passion around these words of “I can’t and I tried.”
It is a natural statement and feels so authentic.
But I want to bring you into a different reality,
the reality that if you are going through something similar as my client shere and feel like you are struggling, that you have been working your butt off but barely making it, that you have tried and tried and tried, but life just keeps showing you pain and struggle,
that you can change it.
You can speak up your vibration.
You can focus your words into creating a different reality for you to observe.
So instead of saying “I can’t”
Try saying “OMG! this _______________ is so amazing. It is the most magnificent thing.”
Skip the I can and go straight to the creation of what you are wanting.
For instance….
Say you are making $50,000 a year but you want to make more. You are putting in the time and effort but you are not seeing any change in income yet,
instead of saying,
” I am trying to figure out a way to make extra money to offset things but nothing seems to be popping for me.”
Say…(to yourself outloud in the mirror)
“I am so excited, I just made an extra $500 this week!”
“I am earning $75,000) this year, it’s magnificent.”
When we use words such as magnificent, fantastic, wonderful, beautiful, incredible they carry with them a higher vibration. We instantly change our energy.
But what is more important to realize here is that our words,
all of them CREATE.
They are the nails, the boards and the glue of our lives manifestations. From our words we build what our life experience is. And this is why so many people are struggling with their health, wealth and relationships.
Just yesterday I was speaking with a beautiful young woman that I am currently working with and I shared with her that when I turned 30 years old everyone around me told me how it was all downhill from here. That I was going to feel the age, I was going to gain weight and could not lose it, that I would start to get sick more and end up on medications and that I was now old.
I laughed about that and said, “That’s not my reality. My 30’s are going to be magnificent. Playful, healthy and strong.” I told myself how beautiful I was and how great I felt.
And guess what, it was so.
When I turned 40 I heard all the same shiz.
Except people told me that I was lucky that it did not happen in my 30’s, but now….
now it was for sure going to happen.
I was on the back side of my life.
And here I am at 44, mother to seven, and I feel great.
I get told all the time I don’t look my age,
I have vitality.
I take no medications.
And I still speak up my vibration to,
“That’s not my reality.”
I keep speaking my reality to what I want and I speak it daily in my thoughts,
to myself in the mirror,
I allow myself to act youthful,
I play,
I enjoy adventures,
I enjoy life.
And so it is that my life experience corresponds to what I am speaking into existence.
So many folks do the opposite though and they grow old and sickly just because they believe that when they hit a certain number of age that that’s the way it is supposed to be and they speak their lives down.
This is true with any subject area of our lives.
We can speak it up or we can speak it down.
So if you are one of the naysayers to your life and you are speaking about how you can’t, or how you are struggling,
how life is hard, how much pain you are in, how much crap keeps happening to you,
then all I can say is….
STOP IT!
Stop creating your misery.
Life is not doing anything to you that you are not asking for.
That you are not speaking into your experience.
And the more you play those negative records on replay,
the more you emotionalize the fear and pain, the struggle and drama,
and believe that its normal,
that its just the way it is because of your age, your income status, your sex, your country or religion,
the more you create with certainty.
It does not have to be that way though.
You can SPEAK UP YOUR VIBRATION,
thus the things that attract into your life expereince.
But you have to be willing to take responsibility for what you are saying to self and to everyone you come into conversation with.
You must watch your words.
They have power.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to learn how to Speak Up Your Vibe to Manifest the Life that You Really want to be living?
Message me on deet’s for my 1:1 coaching opportunities now.

I Am Unavailable for That and You Should Be Too.

Driving to Corpus Christie for Mothers Day weekend and as I sit here a passenger in my own car,
looking out the window at the fields and rolling hills of southern Texas,
cars passing by,
children chit chatting and humming in the back seat,
spouts of laughter with an occasional,
“Stop it! Don’t touch me.”
I realize that I am simply unavailable for not living my life the way I desire.

So much so, that I have created a new belief structure around what is my normal.

Even in the midst of a world pandemic,
My world remains unrocked.
My home is happy, stable and full of life.
There is laughter, joy, deep connection and adventure in each day.
We plan for the day and for our future.
We laugh and delight in the little moments together,
Never allowing space for just existing or getting by.

I was looking through pictures that I have taken over the last 90 days and it shows a life lived.
It shows many lives lived and enjoyed.

And I realize I am not available for just getting by, nor are my children or my man.

No, this idea that our lives must go on hold for a pandemic, for stay at home laws, masks, and at the base of it all for fear,
It does not stand in my life,
In my world or family.
Because at my core I have become unavailable for anything less than what feels good and in my life flow.

It was not always this way though,
Not all that long ago I was still available for chaos, for scarcity and even the belief that I must sacrifice myself to get by.

Before that I believed that life was a struggle,
That money was hard to come by,
That stability was something you long for but would never be,
That marriage, relationship was blah and that was normal,
That sex was non-orgasmic and that what I wanted did not matter. My words were never heard, my heart never felt, and that this was just normal.

I believed that I was an option,
And an option that I could never choose.

I believed that happiness was an option,
And one that I could never choose.

I believed that stability was an option,
And wealth was too,
But I could never choose these options because life was against me.

Life dictated my outcomes,
And it seemed like the harder I tried to achieve them, the more distant they became.

I believed that I had not suffered enough or proven myself enough, to have these luxuries.

And so it was,
Because back then…
I was so very available to all that I did not want.

I was available to making things an option,
And making them an option that I could not choose.

Life experiences and the people in my world supported this belief.

I never had to look far to see the evidence that what I thought was true,
Was.

But today…
Today this belief does not hold water.

Today I know different.
Today the evidence reveals something different,
Because that truth of before changed.

And I was the alchemist who changed it.

I did it by simply becoming unavailable to the things that I did not enjoy or want.

I did it by not making myself,
Or money, or happiness a choice.

They became mandatory.
They became what was natural and normal to my life.

I chose differently.
I went against my grain,
That, that I was taught.

I decided to create my own truth.
Can you believe that?

How ridiculous.
I chose my own truth.
I decided to stop buying into what this world wanted me to believe,
I decided to not let others ideas, beliefs, fears, perceptions define my truth.

And when I took back my truth,
And chose to not make myself or my happiness an option any longer,
My world changed and with it my life experiences that provided me the evidence that I was worthy without sacrificing my soul,
Without the need to suffer.

Yeah crazy I know.
But true.

And the even crazier thing is it truly happened over night almost.
My life results shifted instantly.

So I ask you today,
What are you available too?
And what are you unavailable too?

Perhaps these things need to flip flop so you can start living your truth,
Your happiness.

But what do I know?
It’s just my reality and I believe it could be yours too.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Ready to get your a*s kicked in the direction of your truth? Message me for deets.

The Story You Need To Tell Yourself Daily.

I am worthy!

The story of today that I choose to focus on and expand in.

 

I am worthy!

It often feels like a lie to write those words and there is resistance in my claiming of them.

 

I am worthy!

At writing them my gut turns over,

I feel butterflies and my heart feels constricted.

 

I am worthy!

I can hear the yelling in my head that it is not so.

Who am I to try and claim such nonsense.

 

I am worthy!

My eyes tear up as I write the statement more and more.

I feel the emotion attached.

 

I am worthy!

Breathing deep, allowing my chest to expand,

my heart says allow,

my mind screams in opposition.

 

I am worthy!

The struggle is real.

And I am at war within myself.

It’s crazy to listen to the clambering of my negativity.

 

I am worthy!

The seed has been planted.

Its taking root,

perhaps a sprout will appear.

There is hope.

 

I am worthy!

Anxiety in the possibility.

I can feel a tug at my core pulling me to something.

Something I want to label the truth,

but scares me still.

 

I am worthy!

I breathe deep again.

Feeling my body rise and fall.

The tears are there,

but now I feel a gentle comfort as though I am being held by something I cannot see.

 

I am worthy!

I want to be.

And so we have the breaking of the soil and a sprout.

 

I am worthy!

Looking around,

I see my material world,

my home that I love and maintain with ease,

my car that I am grateful for,

a house full of comforts, luxuries and food.

All that seems stable,

and constant in my life experience.

I do not struggle.

I move with ease.

Life always is providing for me.

There is proof around every corner.

 

I am worthy!

Perhaps I already know it is true?

Perhaps, I have known forever even.

Perhaps under all the chaos and noise of outside influences,

of fear and judgement,

there is a knowing.

Can it be true?

 

I am worthy!

Of course I am.

Just look and feel.

Breathe deeper and let the body speak,

move past the reservation,

the constriction,

and feel the heart.

The soul.

There is a budding there.

There is truth.

God does not give to us a desire that cannot be.

And what we desire is already granted,

we must just believe to receive.

 

I am worthy!

And so are you.

 

Say it with me this morning…..

 

I AM WORTHY!

I AM WORTHY!

I AM WORTHY!

 

YES YOU ARE.

 

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

 

It is time that you say YES to you.

 

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

“I love You. Just As You Are.”

 

Bob Marley once said:

“You may not be her first,

her last, or her only.

 

She loved before she may love again.

But if she loves you now, what else matters?

 

She’s not perfect—you aren’t either,

and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh,

cause you to think twice,

and admit to being human and making mistakes,

hold onto her and give her the most you can.

 

She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break—her heart.

 

So don’t hurt her,

don’t change her,

don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give.

 

Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”

 

And he was a wise man in his lyrics.

The Jamaican artist who grew up on the concept of One Love,

and to love without fear,

without reservation,

and condition,

spoke the truth in his words about loving a woman,

but his words ring true in general.

 

His words on love are words that we could all gain wisdom from when looking at relationships in general.

 

Can you imagine a world where we spoke our truth.

Where we told our feelings without expectation,

where we related because that is what humans do…

 

Can you imagine a world where love was not based on what you can do for me,

or I for you,

but on the actual feeling of love.

 

Can you imagine a world where love was not captivated and crucified at every upset in the day,

a world where loving each other was normal and not judged or shamed,

can you imagine a world where we each had respect for self,

compassion for self,

love for self,

and thus could freely offer the same to another.

 

Can you imagine a world where saying “I love you” did not bear with it the weight of marriage, commitment of a lifetime, legal documents or looks of concern.

 

Can you imagine being loved just for being you?

 

This is the love that Marley was speaking of.

This is the message that we all need to hear,

 

and this morning as I sit here and am blessed with the words,

 

“I love you.”

 

I feel called to share the importance that they actually hold.

 

I love you is a statement of acceptance.

A statement of respect and care,

 

I love you means that I do not want to control you,

that I appreciate you JUST AS YOU ARE.

 

I love you means that I am not expecting anything in return,

there are no conditions,

there are no rules or obligations,

 

I love you means that I SEE YOU.

 

JUST AS YOU ARE.

 

And when these words are uttered,

they should not hold the reins on our heart,

they should not be spoken in shame or in fear,

but instead be words that frees our soul.

 

I love you means that I love me too.

Because I could not feel this feeling,

pure and authentically,

if you were not mirroring the love that I feel for self.

 

That is what it is a message of.

When we feel deep love for another,

without control or possession of any sort,

without jealousy or fear of losing,

without expectation,

 

we are feeling true love.

 

And true love can only emerge when we feel the same for self.

Others that we feel this radiance for,

ignite the truth of our souls,

allow us to embrace our bigness,

our beauty, and truth.

 

When love is authentic and not based in need,

It is a sign of who we really are.

 

And at our cores,

WE ARE LOVE.

 

We taste it juiciness.

We bathe in its sweetness,

We dance freely in its light,

and we expand within its breath.

 

Without love life is empty.

And with false love,

control masked as such,

we hunger to hold on,

we fear its loss,

we hand over our power to whomever we deem our point of focus,

and lose who we are.

 

To love someone…

 

You may not be the first person to love them,

or the last,

not even the only one.

 

They have loved before,

they will love again,

But if they are loving you now,

What else matters?

 

They are not perfect – you aren’t either,

and the two of you may never have the perfect relationship together, no matter its label,

but if they make you smile and laugh,

cause you to think twice,

and admit to being human and making mistakes,

hold onto that love and give it the most you have.

 

They may not be thinking of you every moment of the day,

but that love will open you to your life,

that love will offer you something special,

something that you must respect, — your truth.

 

So don’t judge and shame your love,

don’t try and change it,

don’t analyze and

don’t expect more than what is shown.

 

Smile when you are happy,

let your feelings be known, even when mad,

let your words and actions be authentic.

 

Love with your whole being when you receive love,

Know that it is available at any moment,

it is your truth,

there is no such thing as perfect,

but there will always be love,

and it is all that matters.

 

How are you penetrating your life,

this world with your love?

 

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

 

It is time that you say YES to you.

 

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

You Are Fearing Your Power & It Is Holding Your Life Back.

I told a close friend yesterday that I was scared to put my attention toward what I “thought” I might be wanting right now because I was afraid that I would get it….

 

LMAO.

 

That sounds crazy,

right?

 

Scared to get what I want because I might actually get it.

But it is true.

I am consciously holding back my manifesting right now out of fear of getting it.

 

How can I be certain that I would manifest it even,

you may ask?

 

You see over the last few weeks of staying at home in the midst of our worlds chaos,

I have been working with clients and clients need homework and sometimes I have to go searching in my own personal journals to look up prompts and exercises that moved me through similar situations that they are experiencing.

 

So I have been looking through a bunch of old journalling.

and geeze has it pulled up some emotion and made me aware of my desires and how great a manifestor I really am.

 

I have looked at the last few years of my life and see clearly how I created things to a T.

 

The things I was wanting just 18 months to 3 years ago are here with me now by about 75%.

 

There are still things in the making,

but I can feel them blooming even as I share this tale with you today. And  the universe has brought me multiple messengers in the last few weeks to confirm that you can have EXACTLY what you desire.

 

SO that should be exciting to me,

right?

 

I have so much confirmation of my creative abilities,

I can see my path,

I can even see the gestation time,

and how it came together,

If I get really present in my heart,

I can even tap into my feelings around one thing and I can take notice as to how I was aligned or not,

witnessing the emotion that truly called it into my life experience.

 

And this is wonderful.

This is powerful.

And scary as F-ck!

 

Because now I know.

I know my power.

I thought I knew prior to this my power but now I really know.

And with this knowing comes a desire to make sure that I get it right,

that I don;t f-ck up what I currently have and love by creating something that is not in alignment to my life right now.

 

There is a strange feeling of responsibility around manifesting that has made itself know to me in recent,

where in the past I would have just wrote my dreams and goals down and not looked at the repercussions of what I was saying that I wanted to call into my life picture,

Now I am so in love with my current life that I don’t want to rock the boat in a way that is not needed.

 

But you want to know a secret?

 

Sure you do. 🙂

 

I am WRONG.

I am so wrong for doing this.

I am so wrong for using “responsibility” as an excuse for creating my dream life even more so.

I am wrong for fearing what my soul is calling me toward.

I am wrong for thinking that I can keep everything the way that is currently is,

in all of its glory and somehow create that next level life that I am feeling pulled toward.

 

Now, there is something else that I am wrong about…

I am wrong in thinking that if I apply my intent on what I am wanting for that I have to have chaos or crap hit the fan in my beautiful life picture,

you don’t always have to destroy something to gain something else.

 

We humans have a tough time with this concept,

We do it in so many ways.

We think we cannot build something new while enjoying something of current.

But that is a falsity.

We can have our cake and we can eat it too.

But we have to believe that we can.

We  have to trust in our soul,

in our path,

in God.

 

We have to have faith that we are always moving toward our best life,

and that is the way that life is designed,

to constantly evolve.

To change.

To grow and expand and to never remain the same.

The relationships that we have today are not the same relationships that we will have in a few years,

even if with the same people,

the relationships will change.

Because people are always changing.

Life moves us.

But we feel scared at moving with life.

It is uncertain and we never know what is coming.

We want to know what is ahead of us and we desire to control it someway,

we fear change more than anything,

and it is what we crave the most,

because it is our nature.

It is our nature to always want for something more.

We will never be satisfied.

And this is how we are designed.

But that is a tough thing to embrace because we are taught that we need to just be content with what we get,

what we have and who we are,

that we need to stop trying to gain more of anything.

When the truth is that this desire to have more and this feeling of never being satisfied is what makes us move forward and take action in life is what we are to be following,

because THIS,

This is how our universe expands.

This is how life grows and experiences this physical existence.

 

To fear change,

to fear growth,

to fear our hunger for more,

is silly and immature.

 

We were born to create.

And we were born to follow the call of this wild energy known as soul.

We are here in this life to evolve ourselves,

and evolution means change,

change of who we are,

what our lives look and feel like,

and if we get very real with ourselves,

then we KNOW that we cannot have what we want thinking, acting, speaking, living the way that we are now.

 

The way we are now has gotten us the life that we have RIGHT NOW.

And if we are wanting to have something richer, deeper, more satisfying then the simple truth is that we MUST EVOLVE.

 

We must change.

And so we must allow ourselves to want for that, that we fear.

We must allow ourselves to feel our hungers,

our cravings, and desires for that better life,

and we must allow ourselves to put our hearts toward it,

we must also let go of the reigns on our current and not hinder its ability to adapt and move with us as it needs,

because it is going to change,

it must change,

for us to become more of who we each are.

 

So my message to you today is to breathe into that space of fear of allowing yourself to have what you are being called toward.

 

Breathe into it and face those inner monsters of your ego that are causing separation in who you are and preventing you from fully stepping forward in your power.

 

Because you are worthy beyond reason.

You were born to live the life that you are hungry for.

 

It is time to say yes to you.

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

It is time that you say YES to you.

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

Say It With Me! Commitment Is Everything.

OMFG!

So there I was leg up on the lip of my shower,

shaving the back of my thigh,

hot water washing down my back,

irritating me because it was washing out my conditioner prematurely,

when it came to me.

 

I figured out why I have a resistance to love.

Not just to love,

but to allowing myself to fall deeply,

penetratively in love with my man,

with my life,

with ME.

 

I was flabbergasted at my realization. 🤦‍♀️

 

How could I be so silly to not have caught this before.

Perhaps I was just unwilling to see it.

Perhaps I was not ready to fully let go.

Perhaps a whole lot of shit to be frank about it,

and the reality is simple.

 

I,

Me,

have been holding myself back from the feelings and experiences that I have desired for the last two plus years almost.

 

Crazy as it sounds.

It is true.

And thanks to my shower today and now nicely shaved legs,

I was blessed with the ability to change it.

Because you see you cannot change something until you awaken to the fact that it needs changed in the first place.

Which is why life is the way that it is.

Sure we get ample opportunity to see what needs to happen,

we feel it at our cores often,

but we humans tend to disregard anything that is not smack dab in our faces presenting a challenge.

AKA a PROBLEM.

 

Which is why we create problems for ourselves.

We need them to expand.

To grow and to create the life that we are called to live.

 

Problems allow us to witness what needs attention,

what needs improvement,

change.

 

And often they rise up from our “feelings”

yes those nasty things that we are told to not pay much attention too because they will misguide us.

But the reality is that our feelings are there to guide us.

They are there to tell us when we are not in alignment to our souls path.

 

And that causes us pain.

Of some sort.

 

So what do we do?

We get into a sticky painful situation,

and we COMMIT to change our evil ways.

We commit to work harder.

Work smarter.

To not trust so easily.

To take better care of our bodies and our hearts.

We commit to trying harder.

And the list goes on.

 

And don’t get me wrong, commitments make our realities.

 

However, the trick is knowing what you committed to and if the commitment is in alignment with your soul’s desire.

 

You see, this commitment that I made about two and half years ago, was not ultimately in alignment with my heart or soul. It was a commitment made out of pain.

Intense pain, my heart was breaking and I was scared and angry at this for happening. I was not understanding why it was happening or how this could even be. And in my suffering I stated to the person who I blamed with great emotional attachment,

” I will NEVER love again.”

I went on to tell him that I would never trust a man again or surrender the way I had with him, that if this is what it got me then it was too big a price to pay and I was committing to not not allow myself to get hurt again at this level.

 

You may think that those were just words,

that I could just ignore and carry on.

That someone awesome could turn around and walk into my life and change my commitment.

 

And perhaps,

perhaps that might be so.

 

But it has not been so for me.

Instead my other commitments to myself that I wrote down prior to this one above, started to knock heads with this commitment and even though I had manifested a wonderful man into my world,

not just any man BTW,

but a man that I scripted out in my journal and who has 75% of my list of desires in a man,

yeah… not bad for a day’s worth of journaling work.

 

Yeah, not even he could break through this commitment to love.

And so, it has been that the last two years I have consistently kept myself “safe from love” not allowing myself to feel what I have wanted to feel fully and getting repeatedly upset with the world and my life and soul because of it but not catching the root of my issue.

 

MY COMMITMENT.

 

This morning as I thought about it,

and as life would have it all week long,

I have had plenty of opportunity to read through old journal entries as I clean up areas of my home.

 

My soul most certainly is on a mission to CONFIRM to me that I am really great at holding commitment to myself.

Especially commitments made with strong emotional attachment.

 

A few years back,

when I was struggling financially to get over the $100k a year mark in my practice, I committed to myself and wrote it faithfully for months on end in my journal that,

 

“I commit to make no less than $95,000 a year from this moment forward.”

 

That year I made $146k.

And I have not looked back since.

 

I also wrote,

” I commit to having my schedule booking out 4 months in advance.”

 

And it still remains so that my schedule is booking 4 to 6 month in advance.

 

” I commit to being recognized on TV.”

 

And shortly thereafter, was called by Lifetime TV to work on an episode of Married at First Sight.

 

My list of commitments is long.

My list of emotionally supported commitments is long.

Some emotions however, support my soul’s desires.

And some do not.

 

My shower realization is that although commitments are thought to be a good thing,

and they most certainly do mean the world.

That what we as individuals need to understand,

is the true power of our words.

 

Of our commitments to self.

And what we say in passion sticks with us and sometimes can get buried under our day to day lives and thoughts.

 

Sometimes these commitments we carry for a lifetime,

and they can be the root cause to us not thriving no matter how hard we work,

to not feeling love, no matter how hard we love,

to not feeling safe,

no matter how hard we try and make ourselves trust.

 

Commitments make our realities.

Let’s start being conscious of them,

and changing the ones that no longer serve.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Watch: Say It With Me!Commit to NOT Lick Your Phone

 

Take advantage right now of a lifetime opportunity to work with me in my intensive 4 week mastermind where you get to work 1:1 with me to learn the keys that I woke up to back in 2009 and changed my whole life outcome with.  Let me guide you through the turbulence of the storms and show you the power of letting go of fear so that you can create the life of dreams, you know that you desire and deserve it. Let’s make it happen. Message me for deet’s

Life Circumstances Getting To You? Here is what to realize.

The grass is always greener where you choose to water it.

 

This statement came up on my Facebook memories from 2009.

 

I read it and smiled.

It was not just a smile to acknowledge a good and accurate statement, but a smile to my deepest self to say,

“You even got it back then.”

 

And because of this understanding back in 2009,

when my life was completely opposite of what it is today,

I created the circumstances that I am now living.

 

And I did so consciously.

I did so on purpose.

 

Prior to 2009 however I was consistently teetering back and forth in my ability to create my circumstances.

I was still playing the blame game and finding great reasons as to why my life was the way it was.

I was still feeling as though life was uncertain and consistently liked to change it up on me.

I found myself asking, “Can I just catch a break already?”

 

Not embracing my worthiness to live the life that was being called forth from deep within me.

Not realizing that I did not have to react to the circumstances that were all about me and get caught up in their mess,

because the circumstances that I was reacting too,

were only there to show me what I had been focused on in days gone by.

You see I had created those circumstances too.

I was choosing to look at the money that I did not have.

I was choosing to look at my hardships and my pain.

I was choosing to wake up each morning and ponder why life was so effing difficult and questioned its purpose even.

I was the one who was holding myself in this way of living.

I was the one who was holding myself in my suffering.

 

But something happened in 2009.

It was spectacular and at the same time miniscule.

 

I woke up!

 

Now I am not saying that my eyes opened up and I realized it was daytime so I got to work.

No I woke up to what I had always known,

but kept forgetting and kept allowing everything and everyone else to get in the way of.

I woke up and realized that my life was moving forward with or without my attention to it.

My life was happening.

I could try and push pause all day long,

I could sit and have deep debates and contemplate the what ifs and shoulds and woulds.

But none of that mattered.

I could sit and shame and guilt myself for everything I had done wrong or where I could have done better,

and I could really sink into all of that suffering and regret,

but my life….

 

my life was still moving along.

It had no care if I was caught on those items or not.

It was just going.

And with it, my opportunity to LIVE was going as well.

 

I looked out over the span of all the years that I had struggling and harping on myself and others to try and get things to go the way I wanted.  I looked at what I was doing with myself each day, at the seeds I was planting and the care I was giving them.

 

And what I discovered was that I was a great seed planter.

I had big and loft dreams for abundance in all good things.

I wanted the castle in the sky and the knight in shining armour to boot. I wanted the health, the joy, the connection.

I wanted it all for self and for my loved ones and I wanted to leave my mark on this planet.

I wanted to touch people’s lives in a positive way.

And I looked to soil to plant in,

I found it often.

Opportunity was around every corner.

And I was great at having hope in it.

I was good at tilling the dirt and planting the seeds.

Doing what was required to build that life that I wanted.

And knew I could have.

 

But you know what I discovered that I sucked at?

Watering.

 

I forgot to water my grass.

Consistently I would get side tracked by the weeds in my life.

And without realizing it I would start to water them.

I would wake up each morning thinking and worrying about the weeds,

I would talk about the weeds all day and share my opinions about them with others,

I would point them out and get everyone else’s thoughts about my weeds,

and I would go to sleep stressed and anxious over the damn weeds,

and do it all over again the next day.

 

This was me watering the weeds.

And forgetting all about my grass,

Yet if someone had asked me if I was tending to the grass and my garden, I would have confidently assured them that I was.

Because I was making sure that those weeds were being dealt with, I knew I had a great opportunity in this and I knew what I wanted to achieve and there was no effing way that I was going to let those damn weeds mess up what I was working on,

However sadly, everytime the weeds took over and my garden failed and I suffered. I was hungry and broke. I was lost and worn out. I was exhausted from all these weeds that mother nature just kept tossing my way, and even though I was a believer that these weeds were trying to teach me a lesson, that I was to grasp delayed gratification, that I had to have patience and that hard work would get me there,

I questioned just how long and how much paying the price I would have to do and if I could withstand it,

or if I was going to just be broken from the whole thing?

 

Well in 2009, I realized what the lesson of the weeds was.

 

They were there not trying to build my stamina,

not trying to get me through all the hurdles and teach me a plethora of lessons so I could be my best,

it was not about paying some price or proving myself or even earning it,

The weeds were there because I was feeding them.

I was focusing on them with more passion and care then what I was giving to my dreams.

 

And you know what I chose to do?

 

Yep you guessed it.

I changed my focus.

I took my attention and I started to apply that same passion and consistent time toward what I wanted.

I started creating opportunities to sit and ponder the joyous moments, the laughter and happiness.

I started to look at how awesome my kids and family were,

I allowed myself to get caught up in health and fitness,

I allowed myself to date, to enjoy sex and to fall in love.

I allowed myself to explore me.

And I appreciated all the goodness and abundance that started to flow in.

 

Now I was watering my grass and garden.

And mother nature did a really cool thing once I started doing this,

mother nature expanded my garden,

my grass started taking over more land,

it called for more and more of my attention because it was no longer a small plot of land in my life, it was now everywhere.

And flowers were blooming that I had only dreamt of.

 

I had created new circumstances.

And I am living those circumstances today,

at this moment.

 

Now there are plenty of weeds for me to look at if I choose,

but I am choosing to water my garden and grass instead and in turn I consistently keep reaping a plentiful harvest in all areas of life.

 

I chose to LIVE.

I chose to CREATE.

I chose to not be reactive but instead to know my power and worthiness and plant more of what I want each day.

 

My question to you sweet reader is simple…

 

 

Are you being reactive to circumstances or are you creating them?

 

Weeds or Grass,

Where is your focus?

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

 

Take advantage right now of a lifetime opportunity to work with me in my intensive 4 week mastermind where you get to work 1:1 with me to learn the keys that I woke up to back in 2009 and changed my whole life outcome with.  Let me guide you through the weeds and to your garden luv, you know that you desire and deserve it. Let’s make it happen. Message me for deet’s

It’s Time To Give Yourself THIS.

Give yourself permission….
It is time that you give yourself permission to have the life that you desire now.
It is time that you give yourself permission to have the love that you want for now.
It is time that you give yourself permission to have the health and body that you crave for now.
It is time that you give yourself permission to receive all the blessings and abundance that God has in store for you now.
It is time that you give yourself permission to speak from your soul and listen with your heart now.
It is time that you give yourself permission to be you without shame or guilt.
It is time that you give yourself permission to feel and know your worthiness.
It is time that you give yourself permission to smile and laugh.
It is time that you give yourself permission to focus on what you want.
It is time that you give yourself permission to walk in faith.
It is time that you give yourself permission to relax into your natural flow.
It is time that you give yourself permission to communicate your truth.
It is time that you give yourself permission to live according to your path.
It is time that you give yourself permission to trust yourself.
It is time that you give yourself permission to forgive yourself and others.
It is time that you give yourself permission to let go of your past.
It is time that you give yourself credit for all that you do.
It is time that you allow yourself to love yourself.
It is time that you give yourself compassion.
It is time that you give yourself grace.
It is time that you give yourself permission.

Because NO ONE else will ever do so.

We live in a world that we feel compelled to always listen to what others think.
To take into account their feelings and beliefs.
To give more credit to others views of the world and of our lives then what our own hearts know of us.
We live in this world where it is said that others are more important than self,
and that, that is what defines a good person or not.
This world that we have created will never serve our highest good in this format however.
It will never help us reap the dynamic loving relationships that we all crave for.
It will never support true happiness,
nor will it support our life callings and purpose.
Because if we are to live the life that we were born to live,
if we are to speak in integrity and from a place of strength and deep compassion and love,
then we must first be able to offer this to ourselves.

Just yesterday I did a call with a beautiful man,
I could feel his deep heart and depth of desire to become truly himself. To know who he is and to offer it to this world.
But what he was lacking from being able to do this,
although seemingly so simple,
is one of the most challenging things to obtain.
And that is self-love and acceptance.
The knowing of one’s worthiness.
Not just worthiness for material items or the amount they get paid each year,
but true worthiness.
The worthiness of love, of living a shameless life.
The worthiness of forgiveness and compassion.
The worthiness to have grace.

And all of this must first be birthed from within.
It is a challenge for each of us,
in many different ways.
But today I offer you the thought to ponder here my dear reader,
I offer you the thought of,
” Am I living according to my worthiness or according to what this world thinks of me?”

The latter will never serve you and it most certainly will not serve your alignment to God.
It will never bring you closer to your truth.
It will never paint you an accurate picture of who you are or what you can do.
It will never support your creative genius,
or your intuitive path.
It will never prove to you your worthiness,
or make you a believer that you are lovable.
You will never gain confidence or accurate guidance from the latter.

The only path that you can choose if you desire to have the permission to live the life that your soul keeps calling out for you to have is the path of self-love.

To offer to self what you offer your closest friend or lover.
To offer to self the shoulder,
the emotional support and understanding.

The only thing that any of us can do to have the life that we want for,
that we know is ours to have,
or that we find ourselves searching for,
craving.

Is to allow ourselves the permission to say YES.
Yes to what we know is true.
Yes to what feels right and to learn what is not.
Yes to make mistakes.
Yes to explore and try new things.
Yes to speaking our hearts.
Yes to being scared or getting stuck.
Yes to wanting for more.
Yes to being human,
with all of its imperfections.

This is the only path that any of us can find ourselves and have a successful life that brings us vitality and love to the utmost degree.

This is the path that God desires for us each.
And it is on this path that we find our alignment.

But to walk this path,
you must first say YES to taking the step.

Are you ready?

Your time is now.
Never tomorrow.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Message me for deets on my “Step Up Now – 4 week mastermind” to level up your life during quarantine and come out of this space refreshed, charged and guided.

Photo credit to Photographyinwonderland.