Reasons or Results – Which Is Your Life About?

Just this morning I was walking my kindergartner into his school. There I was in yoga pants, a tank top and sweat shirt off one shoulder. My hawaii flip flops on my feet and my hair tossed up in a pony tail. My son and I were goofing around like we do every morning, laughing and hugging, picking on each other as we crossed the parking lot and walked down the entry way of the school.

It was just another morning in truth.
And yet it was not.
Because this morning I was people watching more so than what I normally do for some reason.
And as always with people watching I always feel so separated from those around me.
I feel judgmental.
Almost critical.
And maybe I should be ashamed to admit that here publicly, but living by my true style I am going to stand in my raw truth with you and just speak it.
I mean we are all judgmental and critical.
And anyone who claims to not be is hiding or lying.

What it comes down to in my opinion, is what you choose to do with the judgments and thoughts that come up.
Do you choose to observe them,
do some good inquiry around them,
and discover deeper messages about yourself?
Or do you choose to pick apart others and find fault and reason as to why you are suffering or how you are better than another in order to justify your worth or reasons?

So here I was,
walking in the school with my son like fifty other women,
and what I noticed was the lack of connection between these parents and their children. There was no laughter, only seriousness and rushing.
There were no smiles even, just pissed off turned down expressions.
Most walked quickly and with a hunched over frame, as though they were trying to hide.
And then there were a few who bee-bopped by looking like they had been up for 3 hours already. Very well put together, but walking in haste.
Entering the school,
music playing, teachers singing and welcoming children, I noticed how the kids lit up as they entered the school because the teachers were appearing excited and happy to start the day with them. The upbeat music caught your ear and made you want to sing along, which is what I do every morning.

But I was alone.
and parents looked at me,
casting their own judgement back.
Most likely wondering who this crazy woman is who dares be happy and sing out loud to her child and shake her hips at the front door as she kisses her kid good by and gives a big hug, then turns and chats with a teacher or two?

Yes, so there I was judging and being judged.
And as I turned and walked back to my car, I noticed how so many parents just seemed lifeless.
Now I was feeling pity.
And I don’t do pity very well.
My pity quickly turned to irritation and disgust.
I looked at these people,
and in my belief they each have a purpose.
They each have a talent.
They are each born for greatness.
They are worthy.
But all I see here is a lack of worth.
And the only effing reason for it is that they are allowing it.
And what are they teaching their children by accepting such a life of low vibe, low energy, dullness and disconnect?

They are teaching them to be the same.
Because our children 90 % of the time do not learn from what we tell them to do, but from what we show them we are doing.

You want an honest child.
Be honest with your child and others.

You want a compassionate child.
Be compassionate with your child and others.

You want a child that can stand on their own two feel and is not easily lead astray.
Then be strong in who you are and have good boundaries and speak your truth.

Whatever you are desiring your child to grow up to be,
realize that you are an example to them.

So back to my point.

Here as I walked I saw a bunch of people who had somewhere along the life trail gotten good with just existing.
Gotten good with their reasons,
their excuses and why’s.
They had settled into not having.
Settled into average.

And had forgotten that they could define what their average looked and felt like.

It’s crazy to think how close to all that we want each and everyone of us truly is.
And yet it is so.
It is no further away then what we are willing to accept for ourselves.
Willing to believe for ourselves.
Willing to expect for ourselves.

But WE have to actually want it bad enough to stop calling in all the reasons that we don’t have it or cannot have it.

Our reasons have got to mean less to us then our DESIRE.

So what are you settling for?
What are the core beliefs that you have that are creating things that you don’t want?
And are you conscious to them?

Let’s get real.
Let’s get raw.
Let’s define.

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Sick and tired of settling for so much less than what you know you can have?
Accepting less in your success, your finances, your love, your relationships or your health?

Well STOP making excuses and TAKE the CALL TO ACTION TODAY.

Kendal I was bankrupt when I first met you. I had no idea how I was going to pay you. Working a dead end job, going through a nasty divorce and had lost everything. All I knew was that if I did not have faith right now and stand my ground that life was going to run me over. Thank God I chose this! Your coaching did not just help get me through everything, it transformed my existence. Today I am making three times the income I was back then. I am dating a dynamic woman and cannot imagine life much better. It is all because of your guidance and wisdom. I wish more people understood the true power of a mentor. Thank beautiful! – Timothy Gearst, Dallas Texas

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Could This Be You?

She said I could fly… and so I did!

Becoming a child without a parent is a strange adventure in this life.

 
I say adventure, because it really is just that.
It is so much more than just an experience.
It is an adventure in the mind of life.
That may sound strange, but it is true. The adventure of the mind of life.
 
How little we understand about the human mind,
the human soul,
or about life at all.
 
I find myself wondering where my mother goes when she leaves.
I look at her with child like bewilderment of not understanding.
Yet, she is now the child and I the adult.
 
How strange to not have a mother to share my life stories with anymore.
 
How strange to not be able to have that woman who was there to comfort me in my youth and beyond,
 
who even though she may have not understood my beliefs, my ways or thoughts,
 
she always believed I could walk on water.
 
My mom always thought I could fly.
She believed in me like no other ever has.
 
No matter how angry she has made me through the years,
No matter the crazy a*s sh*t she has said, did or lied about doing.
No matter how much she has scared me with her wild woman ways.
No matter how badly she has hurt me with her words and actions at times.
No matter how I often knew she was manipulating me,
She has been my one trust cheerleader.
 
Actually cheerleader does not do her justice here.
She has always, until recent years been that faithful disciple.
 
I say disciple, because she did not lead.
She pushed me up.
She put me on the pedestal that she believed I should be on.
 
Like I said, she has always insisted that I could walk on water and fly.
 
She saw wings on my back and wind beneath them, when I thought I was trash.
 
All this attention and never being able to do wrong in my mother’s eye’s has made me who I am today.
 
I often think, “Wow, Kendal you sure think a lot of yourself.
Then I hear the programs of our society kick in and shame me for doing just that.

Then I realize that this is what I help people over come EVERY day.

 
If we do not love ourselves and think highly of ourselves, then who will?
 
If we do not believe we have wings, then how will we ever fly?
If we do not believe that we can perform miracles, then how can we?
If we do not believe that we are worthy, then we are not.
 
My mom has always pushed me in one way or another to BE ALL I CAN.
 
And supported me whenever I said, ” This does not feel right, good or in alignment to me.”
 
This is why it is so heavy on my heart to see this woman become the child.
 
I watch her daily deteriorate more and more.
I see her fear in her eyes.
I hear the anxiety of it in her voice.
I see her looking at her aging hands that now shake so badly that she can barely hold her coffee without dumping the whole thing.
I see her shocked at her gray hair,
At the hairs that grow on her chin.
 
I see her concern and worry when she realizes that she has no clue what day it is,
What she ate or if she ate.
 
I see her panic as she believes the nightmares that run through her as reality as she shares them in great detail with me.
 
I see her frustration as she realizes that she has no clue what her grand child’s name is anymore.
 
And I feel her pain, as she runs from the loss of herself and thus the loss of her life.
 
There is nothing like watching some one vanish before your eye’s while their physical body remains,
breathes,
heart beating,
but they are no more.
 
She is no more.
She is gone.
 
She is no longer that woman with wise words and tales.
She is no longer that woman that gave advice from her depths of experience.
She is no longer that woman who could hold space and let me cry or freak out.
She is no longer a mother.
 
Now I am in her role.
I hold space while she cries and freaks out from her loss of memory.
I give advice when she asks me, “”How am I going to over come this and have my own life again? Do you think it’s to late? I sound crazy.”
I share the wisdom I have gathered in my life and recall from her tales.
 
I am the mother.
She is the child.
 

Becoming a child without a parent is a strange adventure in this life,

For sure.

 
But this is the story that so many of us will live with our parents,
and perhaps with our children.
 
As we age,
as we grow,
as we awaken,
we too die.
 
Here is the tale of dying before death takes us.
The tale of living with dementia.
 
Here is the a tale of awakening one morning to this strange adventure.
 
I will not live like my mother.
For in her wisdom, that breaks free from its shackles of memory loss and fear,
 
” I wish I had lived more.”
” I wish I had loved more.”
” I wish I had had the courage that you do.”
 
“Honey, you can fly! I know you can. I see your wings.”
 

So what are you waiting for?

Come fly with me!

 

My mom say’s we can…

So let’s!

 

And remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

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Are you getting too old?

rosegrannyThe first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know.
I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me
with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?”

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze. “Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked.

She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…”

“No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

“I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months, we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine”
as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. 
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up. At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.”

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change.

Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those
with regrets.”

She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.”

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.
At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died
peacefully in her sleep. 
Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be .
These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.
REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.