EVERYTHING THAT EVER WAS STILL IS.

EVERYTHING THAT WAS STILL IS.
Yesterday was magical.
It was tranquil.
It was adventurous.
It was testing.
I had technical difficulties left and right,
and then the ocean tide came and tried to steal my romantic lunch.
There we were sitting on Ruby Beach just off of Hwy 101 in the Olympic National Forest in Washington. Home to me in so many ways. My lover kept shaking his head in amazement.
I could see his breath being taken from him as we ventured around the corners to see yet another immensely beautiful site.My heart was filled with excitement and appreciation to be sharing my Washington with him.
He would look at me in love and smile.
Ask again the question of the day,
“Why did you ever leave here?”
And I would chuckle.
SPIRIT.
Spirit took me from here,
spirit guided me to someplace so opposite of here for a reason, and now that place ( Dallas) is home.
Lacking perhaps in many ways from the natural beauty that Washington State offers in each moment,
Dallas is now home and I was called there with a purpose.
But today’s lesson was not so much about spirit taking me from the majestic tranquility of the great Northwest,
but more so about the realness of how everything that ever was still is.
Yes everything.
There has never been anything new created.
The life that was here manifesting and creating itself so many millennia ago is still all here.
As the years pass and things change,
as we perceive life to die and go away,
we in our limited human understanding get caught up in the ending,
and by doing so we miss the reality that life…
life never goes away.
It never ends.
We never end.
We transform.
We get rebirthed into something new.
Our atoms and molecules are still here carrying our essence with them.
They may break down repeatedly and get divided into smaller particles,
all the way down to a quark,
however contained in each one of these quarks is consciousness.
The consciousness of all time.
You and I.
We are here.
Inside each of these,
inside of each other,
and we have been here forever.
And we will remain in consciousness forever more.
Your memories of today,
the love that you feel,
the memories of fullness and the magnitude that life can have on us,
those feelings of being so small and yet so powerful,
those are forever you.
Life is forever.
Life transforms.
It moves through us and God/universe experiences life through our eyes, touch and feelings.
It is what we are here to do.
LIVE.
Sitting 20 feet up on the roots of a very old and extremely large cedar tree in the Olympic National Rainforest,
I breathed in this reality.
And once again heard spirit.
LET GO OF FEAR.
LET GO OF CONTROL.
We get caught on the ending.
And this getting caught on the ending holds us away from thriving.
It prevents us from fully living,
because we fear life and we think we need to control it.
When in truth all we ever have to do is feel into life and get into alignment with spirit.
Into alignment with God/universe and let it carry us to a magical experience.
Where we transform.
Where we expand as life moves through us.
This Is terrifying to us humans however.
If we just let go and let God,
if we release our need to control outcomes,
if I dare say….
TRUST.
Then we could be left with nothing.
Or worse yet,
we could die.
And cease to exist.
This is where we truly do not pathom our power in alignment.
By releasing ourselves from the fear of death,
we gain not just life, but we gain beauty in life.
We gain the full support of the universe.
We tap into our desires,
and as we appreciate and enjoy the moment RIGHT HERE,
life will grant us with more moments of equal and greater beauty for our enjoyment.
Bad things will still be happening,
storms will still be rolling around,
however when we are in alignment and are not available for such disturbances in our vibration,
we somehow as if magically just miss them and they miss us.
And this is how it has always been intended.
This is what THRIVING is all about.
It starts however with the reality that death is an illusion.
That even though this body of yours and mine will most certainly not be here in a thousand years,
and perhaps not even for the rest of this year,
but the consciousness that is who we truly are,
it will forever be here as it always has been .
and it will rebirth itself through the merging of quarks and molecules, through the new dance of atoms,
and it will remember itself.
It will look out into this universe,
into this world and the existence that is living and will see itself everywhere.
And it will feel its power.
The question today my love is can you feel your power for this manifestation of you?
Can you embrace your life and stop making excuses as to why you cannot breathe in the moment and LIVE?
Or will you just smile at my share and wish me a beautiful life or curse me for living and keep arguing with your limitations?
It is all up to you beautiful
Namaste.
I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth and of peace. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, we are one.
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Message me for deet’s on the Magick Minute Program Coaching available globally now.
 

The Power of Facebook Memories….What it means to your F-ck Yes! Life.

You gotta love Facebook memories.
 
Don’t you?
I mean they make us laugh,
Make us smile,
Make us feel our hearts tug,
Bring up sadness,
Missing,
And appreciation.
 
Facebook memories….
This last weekend I have been off camping in a tipi out in Hawkins Texas. Its been a lovely experience with my youngest two children and boyfriend.
The pictures that are capturing all these fantastic and fun memories are something to be grateful for.
And if you are a scrapbooker like myself,
(Well in truth I have not scrapbooked for a decade, but I take pictures with the concept and image of one day getting them scrapbooked)
 
Then you can for sure appreciate the memories being stored for later creative projects.
 
And then there are those darn Facebook memories…
 
One year ago today….you were at this Jimmy Buffet Concert.
 
Four years ago today…. you were strolling down the beach in Jamaica with your ex.
And you were hiking Dunns Falls and eating lunch at Margaritavil.
 
Seven years ago today…. you were enjoying a romantic dinner and sexy time with another ex that you thought the relationship would last a lifetime with for how in love you were.
 
Eleven years ago…. your children were calling you a hippie mama and you were proud of the title.
 
Lol… just some memories from my life on today.
 
But you know what I noticed?
As I looked through all the pictures….
 
The authentic smiles and connection.
The joy and laughter.
The love.
 
Although fleeting,
And ever changing,
It was there and it is here today as well.
And for this I am grateful 🙏.
 
The people in our storyline tend to change,
As humans can be quiet fickle and our egos and hearts tend to whisk us all about.
 
But when you choose to focus on what matters most,
The love and connection.
The beautiful memories and moments shared,
Then the players in our stories are always perfect.
They are there for a reason in that season of our lives.
And when we can embrace that truth,
It makes our lives so much more fluid and enjoyable.
 
As I looked back on the memories of today over the last decade,
I felt a host of emotions.
I felt my heart expand and sink.
I looked into the eyes of these now strangers,
And asked silently,
What happened here?
I also saw clearly that it was not all bad,
It was not all fake,
It was not time, energy, love, LIFE wasted.
 
Not at all.
It was time shared in love.
And this is my message to you today,
See the beauty of your past and the players in it.
See the love and the life we’ll spent.
Because when you do this…
You capture more of this.
You allow more good times.
You make yourself more available to living in love.
To receiving joy, connection and love.
 
And doesn’t that sound better then looking at those years gone by from a feeling of bitterness, anger and loss?
 
I mean think about what you desire.
Look at what you want for.
Are you living in the energy of it now?
Can you feel it present in your past?
Do you know how to manifest it into your tomorrow?
 
By seeing and feeling it ALIVE in you now.
And looking for the evidence of it in your memories and in the makings of today.
 
Be in gratitude for your memories.
For your storylines and for those who danced the dance with you.
 
It is perfect just the way it is.
As are you.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”
Message me for deets on how to get the most out of your forever and live a F-ck Yes Life now.

Subconscious Thoughts Effing Up Your Desired Life?

Thoughts turn to feelings,
and what do we do when we have been programmed so hard core to have negative thoughts,
or to feel guilty about certain things,
or shame even?
How do we clean up our subconscious minds and thoughts?
I mean we have all been told that these subconscious thoughts affect our outcomes. That they are sneaky little bastards that rise up and cause havoc in our lives and get us to self-sabotage when things are going so great.
Right?
And these subconscious thoughts impact our vibration,
our ability to create the life that we want for,
Right?
It can feel like a real battle to overcome and clean up this junk in our minds,
in our subconscious world.
I mean, shit its subconscious, so we gotta first make that stuff conscious so we can properly dispose of it,
Right?
Or maybe we can just put ourselves in a trance state and clean them up without even knowing we are cleaning them up?
Maybe.
But I want to share a little secret with you today.
It’s a good one too.
I want you to toss around the idea that maybe,
just maybe the only thoughts that actually impact your life and outcomes are not your subconscious ones but instead the thoughts that are ACTIVE.
So if it’s a subconscious thought,
a truly subconscious thought, meaning below consciousness
you won’t have feelings around it because there is not enough activation around it to compete with what your soul, your core really knows.
And here is what you really need to understand,
if you are having a feeling around the thought….
then it’s NOT a subconscious thought,
its and active thought that’s in competition,
or not.
You can have an active thought that’s not in competition with who you really are and what you really know,
and that thought will feel like a good idea.
That thought will feel energizing,
you will feel vitality from it,
you will have interest in it.
It’s really only the thoughts that are in opposition to what your soul knows….
for example if you are thinking a thought like,
“I am not good at this, I can’t succeed at this.”
Then your soul is not thinking this,
your soul knows differently,
and therefore you will be feeling a negative feeling.
So, don’t worry about subconscious thoughts weighing you down or being a disadvantage to you,
because they are not.
They are so subconscious that you are not feeling around them, they are a non-player to your life experiences.
It is only the things that you are feeling around that are players in your point of attraction,
in the experiences that are manifesting for you right now.
So this makes things far easier right?
If it feels good, yeah keep it active.
If it does not, stop thinking those thoughts.
But it is not that easy to just stop thinking these negative thoughts.
Because the law of attraction keeps them coming,
and that’s why we come up with this flawed concept that there must be subconscious thoughts playing against us and making all this shit happen.
Because logically, we look at the pain and crap and think,
“I would not do this to myself, so it must be subconscious.”
But it is NOT subconscious,
it’s VERY CONSCIOUS.
And you keep thinking these thoughts and creating these results because it is easier to think these thoughts because they have momentum, then it is to stop thinking that thought.
You get it?
So what do you do?
You have to know that there are other thoughts,
there are other thoughts that feel better,
that you are conscious sof as well,
and are ACTIVE as well,
and you CAN, with a little bit of effort hook into these thoughts and create stronger momentum with them,
shifting your perspective from that,
that is easy and negative to that,
that you actually desire to feel and create.
Many years ago, well actually about 15+ years I used to be so reactive to my thoughts, because they caused me to feel so yucky and angry, sad, guilty, shameful, empty, etc. And I believed to my core that this is just the way my life was. No matter how much self-growth work I did or how much journalling and workshops I went to, my results were bleak and my feelings were not what I desired.
I would flair up over little things it would seem,
but these little things had deep root systems in my mind and feelings. So I would get triggered easily and mad that someone had triggered me, then go into my victim mode and blow up in one fashion or another, or worse hold it all in and distance myself from all feelings, I would seem indifferent to life and those around me.
I spent years believing that I was aloof and introverted, when in fact I was just churning around and creating more momentum in these negative attitudes and thoughts.
I would stew on things and analyze them every way possible,
I would work my butt off to change things,
and I would deep dive into my issues,
without gaining the results that I wanted ever.
And then one day….
I learned this simple truth that I shared above.
It was not my subconscious thoughts,
It was not my past or my programming,
it was what I CHOSE TO KEEP ACTIVE in my mind and feelings.
It was where I was applying my attention.
And I had the power to look at whatever I desired.
I had the ability to focus myself little by little toward the thoughts that provided me the feelings that I wanted.
And from there would create the life experiences that I wanted.
But I had to choose to stop doing what was easy and let myself run down that rabbit hole of negative thoughts.
I had to choose to catch myself when I did, and not beat myself up over it, but simply change my direction of focus.
And now what used to take me 2 years to move through only takes me five minutes or less.
That’s it.
That’s the secret to getting everything that you want.
That’s all you ever have to do.
Be present and conscious of what you are choosing and stop making excuses around why you cannot do the self-check work of catching yourself.
Or the other option,
accept what you are getting with your stinking thinking and STOP bitchin’ about it,
because you created it,
CONSCIOUSLY.
So if you are sitting here today on this fine Monday and questioning why your world or this one or two subjects in your life are not going the way you want,
no matter how much effort you put in on them,
no matter how much you smile and do the damn things that you believe will get you the results that you want and see others getting from less work or the same,
then I am speaking to you luv,
I am speaking to you who wonders ,
“Why am I so unhappy.”
“Why do I not ever have good things happen.”
“Maybe I am not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, healed enough, etc.”
or blaming your parents, your religion or government and upbringing for why your life is the way it is,
Nope it’s you baby.
You are creating this all with the thoughts you are keeping active.
Is it time to change what you want to keep active?
I would say so.
 
And As Always,
 
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.
 
It is time that you say YES to you.
Message Me for deet’s on 1:1 coaching now.
I can kick your a*s from any where globally.

The Only Question You Ever Need Ask Yourself to Create Your Dream Life.

How do you define your reality?

 

Many years ago I was attending a study group consistently focused on the technology of the soul.

In my study, I was consistently asked to witness my ego,

to see my shadow side and to know that I could never destroy it. That it was going to grow and expand side by side to my light, to my soul.

 

It was revealed to me in this four year in depth training that all of my suffering was by my choice. That I could let my ego feel the pain and recognize it as such,

or I could have soul damage and wounding by not letting my soul shine and speak its truth.

 

Now this may be a difficult conversation for some to understand. And this particular musing is not going to go into depth on it as I would do with a private client of mine,

However, the point that I wish to share with you here is one of great importance if you are among the many in the world who crave for a better life.

 

We get to choose.

The bible referred to this as free will.

And what is meant by this is that we have the creative ability, the power to define our reality through our will.

 

To define our purpose through our will means to focus our desire.

To understand that we are the co-creator of the life that we are living and that our consciousness and perspective on our life experience is what creates it.

 

The life that you are living right now,

did not occur right now.

It was created by the thoughts you have been thinking,

and your feelings toward those thoughts.

The pictures that you have been day dreaming or day nightmaring about.

 

Your reality has been manifested by your focus.

By your will.

 

And here is where the tough shiz happens.

It’s the reality check about your reality.

 

If you want to have a flowing, life based in ease,

in beauty, and love.

Where you are not attracting the drastic contrasting situations and experiences, but instead perhaps work out your contracting visions quickly with a thought or inner conversation that you let go of quickly,

then you MUST get real about who is creating your reality.

 

So back to the question of today.

 

How do you define your reality?

 

If I were to ask you to list three to five words or sentences that define your reality what would you say?

 

Perhaps you should take a moment right now to jot those down. And once you have them in writing, in front of your face where you cannot argue what your words are,

I want you to ask if this reality that you are defining is:

 

👉 Real – are you living it now. Are you feeling it at your core if it is not currently manifest.

👉Is this reality supportive of your best life.

👉your truth and beliefs or someone else’s.

 

 

A Lot of the time we lie to ourselves.

We look at inquiry like what I have given you here today,

and we know what we “should” be answering and so because we view it as a test,

and everyone wants to do good on the test,

we answer what we know or think the “right” responses are instead of what our truth is.

 

And here is how you can tell if you are doing this.

Look at what is showing up in your world consistently.

If what you are writing and what you have showing up are polar different,

then guess what?

 

It’s time for a REALITY CHECK,

because the last one you did was not real.

You were telling fibs to yourself love,

because it hurt.

It hurt to see your truth. It hurt to see the brutalities that you may have been painting for yourself.

It hurt that what is showing up is not as bad as what you keep painting and you just don’t feel worthy of a good life so you gotta create some drama,

so you paint some tales in your head about struggle.

Perhaps, you have a bunch of people in your life that are struggling and you just don’t fit in with them,

so you shrink yourself and make up a shitty tale to match,

to fit in.

Not realizing that if you keep telling yourself these crap tales that you will over time start to believe them at a core level and manifest them.

 

Or….

 

Maybe you are painting a beautiful picture,

one where you have the love,

the money,

the health and opportunities that you want,

but what keeps showing up is nothing of the sort.

And you wonder why.

And the why is simple luv,

You don’t believe that you are worthy of the pictures and statements that you are creating.

 

And what you have materializing is what you believe you are worthy of.

 

This is that shadow self that I was speaking of earlier,

this is where we have to let ourselves feel the pain,

but let it be held by our ego’s.

 

That simply means to step out of the comfort of doing what you always do which is, make excuses and come up with reasons,

and in turn have the will to move toward what you want for.

This will require you to consistently witness your ego,

witness your fear,

witness your desire to control,

witness your foul concepts of self and others,

watch the words that you speak and that you chatter on with in your head and how they make you feel,

and consistently ask yourself if it is true or not.

 

You must be willing to call yourself out of the darkness and into the light.

 

And it is going to hurt like a motherf-cker luv.

It is.

 

But you are worth it.

 

Your other choice is to let your soul suffer and carry with it the wounds of not living the life that you were called to live,

to continue to shrink yourself,

no matter the reason,

and to never taste the glory that you were born to enjoy.

 

How do you define your reality?

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

It is time that you say YES to you.

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

Is there “Life” in Your Years? Or Are You Just Shifting Paperwork?

Keeping it all together can be effing difficult,
can it not?
 
2020 has started with a BIG BANG,
and not the kind that equates to eye’s rolling in the back of your head as you gasp for air and claw at sheets while calling out OMG! in a state of orgasm or ecstasy.
 
The last ten days had been a roller coaster ride of emotions, events, must do’s, drama, hustle and a packed schedule plus a 23 hour road trip home from Tahoe to Dallas.
 
But I would not change it for the world.
And from the looks of my calander I would say that things are not going to chill out any time in the near future either.
 
Now I am a person who thrives in hustle and bustle.
I also thrive in calm and peace, with limited movement.
And I have learned that in order for me to be living at my maximum potential that I do best with a 70/30 split on these two.
 
Life has not always been like this though,
a little over a decade ago, maybe 13 or 14 years back,
(and thank you Facebook for your memories that you share)
I had more of the nothing happening then the hustle and bustle of todays busy schedule and family. What I also had more of was toxic thinking,
limited acting on goals and desires,
a feeling of lostness and emptiness,
a not knowing of self,
and limited “happy” moments.
 
Today, as I have been up since 5-AM and going strong,
I have been pondering this 70/30 balance of my current life and what it has to offer my desired dreams and lifestyle. What would I change? What do I crave more or less of?
Where am I not showing up the way that I want? Where am I allowing myself to be limited?
 
I was reminded by a quote I posted 9 years ago by Abraham Lincoln, ” And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
 
About the importance of remembering to LIVE.
 
It’s not even about the hustle and bustle as I call it,
because we can get caught up in this hustle and bustle and busy work and “think” that it is living when in fact we are just shifting papers on the desk of life and getting no where in a hurry.
 
Living is not about business.
Living is about breathing in the moments.
Feeling fulfilled, connected, happy, sad, orgasmic, empty, creative, adventurous.
 
Living is about FEELING life move through you.
And when we are just shifting papers on our desk of life,
we are not living.
Sure we may have a clean home and our bills paid.
We may have three masters degrees and all the fancy electronic devices known to man.
But can you say you feel fullfilled?
 
Most people cannot.
Most people feel lost and without life purpose.
Searching for the elusive thing called happiness.
And this is because they are not focusing on putting life into their years.
They are filling years with busy work.
 
So what can you do to not expereince this empty hustle and bustle but instead put life into your years?
 
You can start with these basic focal points:
🔥Get Clarity Into Who You Want To Be In Life-
Who do I want to become as a person, and what do I really want right now in my personal and professional life?
What areas of my lacking in and why?
Where do I feel certainty at in my life right now?
🔥Get Real About Your Energy Levels-
Do I have the physical stamina and vibrancy to accomplish my goals and feel energized about life every day?
What are major factors contributing to the way I feel?
🔥Check In On Your Personal Courage –
Where am I stepping up and leaning in on my edge right now in life? Wheree am I backing down?
🔥Get Real About What Your Productivity Really Is-
Where am I getting sucked into distraction?
Where am I holding my focus and crushing it with my dreams, desires and goals?
How can I get better?
🔥What Does Your Impact/Influence Say About Your Life-
Do I have the level of influence/respect/intimacy that I need and want to accomplish my goals and dreams with my family, lover, friends, business co-workers/partners or anyone that I need for support to make my dreams/goals happen?
What areas of my life am I lacking influence/impact/respect/intimacy in that I need to accomplish my desired life?
 
I don’t know about you,
but I want to CRUSH 2020.
I want to totally 💃💃💃 ROCK OUT the year!!!
 
And in order to do that I know that my CERTAINTY and CLARITY in myself and my desired outcome needs to be formulated.
 
That means that in reality,
there is no effing time for the busy work of shifting papers on my life desk.
There is ONLY time to focus on LIVING, EXPANDING and ENJOYING.
 
And the successful one’s know this.
We get it.
You may wonder how we do it?
How do we balance and harmonize family, business, spiritual, health, travel, romance and all the other little shiz,
it’s simple….
 
We focus on putting life into our years instead of getting caught up on the dust in the corners of the desk.
 
We focus on being present, active and taking NO EXCUSES.
Especially from ourselves.
 
We know what we want.
And we don’t just give it lip service.
We step the F-ck IN on our desires and MAKE THEM HAPPEN.
 
I want your 2020 to be effing AMAZING too.
 
🎉🎉Are you ready to make it a year full of living?🎉🎉
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Are you ready for a Year Of YOU?
Availble to a limited VIP group of powerful manifestors and individuals who want to rock out and Kick A*s in 2020 I am doing a private 1:1 opportunity to change your inner world to one of high vibration, focused intention, release of fear and self- sabotaging patterns, and development of abundance skills for life, love and money.
Message me for full deet’s on this VIP 6 -week opportunity to work 1:1 with me and make 2020 a Year of Me!
Start of 2020 and activiating your Yes year to You by saying YES to this potent opportunity today.

NEWS FLASH!!! You Can’t Do It For ANYONE else but YOU.

You Can’t Do It For ANYONE else but YOU.

 
You really are the center of the universe.
 
I know that may sound like a ego based statement,
it may appear to be selfish, self centered and even “wrong” in some fashion to think this way about ourselves.
 
But leave it to me to be the
📢📢📢F-cking NEWS FLASH of reality….
 
If you make anyone else more important than you,
If you make anyone else’s business your responsibility,
If you worry more about anyone else more,
If you want it more for them then they do….
 
Then you are sacrificing your EVERYTHING.
 
I am always telling my clients,
” I am in this to level that you are.”
 
Meaning, if you think it is my responsibility as your coach to do/push or want your success more than you do, then you will be sadly let down and mistaken.
 
If you believe that you need someone else to push you,
Give you motivation,
Reason,
Courage,
or FAITH,
 
to take the steps that you need to take.

to REMIND you to DO THE Mother F-cking things that you know you need to do.

 
Then you are going to always have less than what you are worth.
You will always be a victim to life,
a victim to circumstance.
 
You will continually be lost,
feel unloved,
unseen,
and like you do not matter.
 
It is no one else’s job to make you
FEEL
or DO
ANYTHING.
 

This is your effing life.

🔥🔥🔥If you want it than CLAIM IT!🔥🔥🔥
 
What if….
 
What if you just finally started saying YES to yourself,
and stopped being the doormat to everything and everyone else?
 
What if you made yourself,
 

🙄WAIT FOR IT…..

 
 

…..THE F-cking Priority. 📢🎆🎆

 
WHOA!!!! What a concept.
 
So back to my original statement of today…
 
You really are the center of the universe.
YOUR Universe.
 
YOUR WORLD! 🌏
 

💯% of the TIME.

 
No one else.
 
This is called having
DRIVE
DIRECTION
COMMITMENT
SELF-LOVE
 
PURPOSE!!!!!!!!
 
Very few people actually have these things.
Most people opt for average and ordinary.
They opt to remain in the confines of the beliefs that they are responsible for someone else’s thoughts, feelings, actions.
 
That it is their responsibility to try and control an outcome.
 
Many people SACRIFICE their lives
for others….
 
WHO never realize that they have done this,
and don’t even want them to do this.
 
Many people,
believe that this makes them ” a good person.”
 
A Godly person, even.
 
When in fact,
all it does is STEAL their JOY.
 
Want to know why you suffer so GREATLY?
Want to know why you feel lost?
Want to know why your always unhappy,
never satisfied,
have limited DESIRE 🔥🔥🔥
 
BECAUSE You are Living for Someone Else.
You are NOT LIVING YOUR LIFE.
 
You have made someone else your EVERYTHING.
And You have GIVEN Your Life for it.
 
So F-cking STOP!!!
 
Instead look in the mirror and start telling the most important person in your life how
 
AMAZING they are.
That YOU LOVE 💖 Them.
That they are WORTHY.
That they CAN HAVE IT ALL!!!!
 

Start with you Baby!

You were born for GREATNESS.

 
But You have to CLAIM IT for Yourself.
No One Else can do this for you.
 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

 
Join me in October for 5 weeks of transformation,
where YOU Claim Your LIFE in 2018 Once and For All.
Message me for details….
 

Why I Pay My Wife for Sex…

sexy-woman

Maybe you should too. Not MY wife — yours.

I’m always anxious to read the latest advice from sex columnists about how to have amazing sex. My problem is that they often fail to speak to the reality of life after children. Of course I’d love to languish in those Halcion days when we spent nights doing nothing but worshiping each other. Those were the days.  But why doesn’t anyone talk about having amazing sex after children?

The sex advice people suggest spicing up your love life. I’d love to have a few hours to do yoni massage in a quiet room filled only with sitar music and the aroma of sandalwood wafting in my nostrils. Children present too many interruptions and distractions. We never had the money or the child care back-up to do weekend get-aways. Waiting until late at night usually means someone is sleeping. Lovemaking gets pushed to the back seat. It takes a toll.

I was involved with men’s spiritual development groups for years. We all took a pledge of silence like the Las Vegas code. On several occasions though my wife asked me if we talked about sex. I said married guys with children don’t want to talk about something that doesn’t exist—sex after children. I couldn’t tell them about my life or they’d kill me out of jealousy. I have had a great sex life after children. Actually it started before children as it does for most of us men, but for my wife and I it never stopped.

I’m in a second marriage. My first was a complete mulligan. Maybe some insights will be posted here down the line. Let me just say, to reinforce an observation about The Good Men Project, men are victims too. I was. Enough for now. Well, okay, a little more revelation.

I underwent a vasectomy in a desperate attempt to save my first marriage. My ex was so afraid of pregnancy that she would “forget” to take her pill. ( I know, it doesn’t make sense.)  She contrived ever possible excuse to avoid sex. I really didn’t want children either, so it was no big deal for me at the time—anything to get more sex. However, when I had the procedure in the late 70’s, the folks at the family planning clinic wanted to be sure I knew it was highly unlikely I would ever be able to conceive naturally. I signed off willingly.

Turns out I was duped. Can’t go there now. My marriage dissolved soon after.

Some time later, I met the woman who would become my soulmate, the love of my life, all the magical things that a good relationship should be about. In our single days we were like mink. However, I knew when I proposed that I was committing to having children as our relationship wouldn’t work if we stayed childless. My wife was born to be a mother. I loved her enough to take the risk.

I underwent vasectomy reversal. In the aftermath I became her sex slave, as she rigidly followed the procedures for a thirty-five year old woman to get pregnant — sex every day she was at the proper basal temperature. We were told it could take a long time. The rabbit died before I was even out of my surgical recovery period.

We had sex all though the pregnancy. In the last days of a difficult and uncomfortable pregnancy, it became too painful for her. Thankfully, her gynecologist told her the way out was the same way she got in. Sex late in pregnancy will induce labor. I love that man. We had sex and she went into labor the next day.

Our first child was a crisis baby, born with a formerly fatal congenital heat defect. We took him back from the arms of the angels on several occasions. You’re never out of the woods with a heart baby, but that too is another story. I lost my job just before our second child was  born. My father-in-law, my best scotch drinking buddy, died suddenly after the birth of #2. I think only a prison term is higher on the life stress levels. Still we held on to each other.

Okay, back to my opening point, the sex counsellors don’t acknowledge that sex after children comes in stolen moments. Foreplay becomes “Brace Yourself!” Children, for all their blessings, kill intimacy. It is the ruin of many marriages. Sexuality in marriage after children has to become a commitment and not an idle romantic indulgence.

Over the years my wife and I have stayed sexually engaged. Our sex life would not make a great XXX movie. A lot of it is under the covers, quietly in the dark, but still, a connection. Unable to have wild sexual fantasies played out, we have found our own means of fun. One of them involves me paying my wife for sex. It serves a dual purpose. Money has always been short in our situation—we have been a one income family—I’m the at-home dad. I have terrible money insecurities. My wife loves to shop and buy stuff—fortunately, she is frugal. Still, her spending has been a source of stress in our relationship. I think I own four pairs of shoes, she could supply a small nation with her collection. There is rarely a day when she doesn’t shop and buy herself something. The clutter has me tearing my hair out at times. But it’s the money fear that is most troubling for me, and I admit, irrational.

I do most of the cooking, cleaning and laundry, so lavishing those treats on her doesn’t open any romantic gateways. We needed something else.

Somehow we came up with the fun idea that I would pay her for sex. The money she “earns” she is free to spend without me nagging her. She has never denied me sex, but it has put a little naughty fun into a stressful situation that many couples face.

I don’t know if our little arrangement will work for you, I’m just saying don’t be discouraged by the sexologists, find a way to keep sex alive in your relationship, even if you have to “pay” for it.

—by  Original Post on Good Men Project

Photo: Flickr/J.K. Califf

– See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/why-i-pay-my-wife-for-sex-dg/#sthash.vtTU4kD8.dpuf

Are you stuck in story?

are-you-stuck-on-story

Why do you need stories? Stories give shape to experience and allow you to go through life with clarity. Without stories, life events and experiences would float around in some nebulous cloud and none of it would mean anything. When you have a particular viewpoint of what happened, the wonderful aspects of being human can come into play. You can laugh, feel inspired, be compassionate, become outraged, and become motivated to change things. They help you connect and feel less alone. They are your guidepost, your prayers, your history and the vehicle to discovering and expressing your soul. There are stories that celebrate and others that offer you a challenge.

Stories reflect your perception of events, experiences and the world. They influence your interactions with others, the quality of your relationships, your sense of emotional well-being, and even your physical health. They shape your expectations, who you believe you can become, or can achieve in life. Your story affects how easily you steer through change, and it can keep you stuck in cycles of stress, worry, and fear. It is your interpretation of what you believe to be true. This rendition is based on your beliefs and weave together to create a story about who you are and how the world works.

If these perceptions and interpretations are reinforced by your environment, the more real they appear and the truer the story seems. The story becomes so engrained that you believe it is the only one that could exist. Your perspective then becomes your truth. The question is, does it support you?

Why do you stay in the stories you create? Story helps you understand the world and assimilate your experience of it, providing you with a view point. Sometimes that becomes contorted. Your unconscious beliefs are like an invisible story line that you carry around all the time. For example, if you adopted the belief that you are not significant, you carry the “I’m insignificant” story. Everywhere you go you are projecting, “This is the story of who I am and how the world works for me. You are requesting others to assume the illusion is true, and help sustain it.” There are plenty of people who are willing to cooperate with you.

How do you change the story? Einstein said that you can’t solve a problem at the same level of consciousness that created it. To change the story you need to look at reality in an entirely new way. Transformation comes when you change the question from “what is this person doing to create this feeling I am experiencing?” This inquiry does not claim ownership of your perception which might be flawed. A more self-aware question might be, “If this reaction is occurring, what story line am I carrying?” Doing this you become aware of the story line, and it gives you the opportunity to change it. You can choose to let go of a limiting belief and respond differently. When you look at your “reality” in a new way. You get less stuck in reacting, and you learn how to clear the beliefs that make up the story. Your awareness grows and you learn to participate in the story you are creating. As a result, the story no longer rules you and your experience of reality changes. I encourage those wanting to explore this further to read Byron Katie’s book Loving What Is.

Lynn Zambrano R.N. is an energy intuitive, healer and life coach. Her sessions are filled with compassion and designed to reveal your personalized, heart-centered guidance. Connect with her on Twitter and Facebook, or email Lynn at Lightminded1@yahoo.com. You can also visit her website at www.Light-Minded.com Lynn is co-host with TrustClaire on her BTR show on Mondays at 5:30 EST, and is also highlighted on Top American Healers .

References:

http://www.nieman.harvard.edu/reports/article/101486/Why-We-Need-St…

http://www.powerctr.com/

ORIGINAL POST on OM Times

Are you okay?

The moment of relief is when you drop the oars and let the stream turn you. Surrender and ask for what you need.” –Abraham Hick

are-you-ok-700x458The question that we all use often and that truly has a different meaning then the words used. Are you okay is a question asked of someone when someone else is feeling a societal need, a duty, a face to uphold. It is asked of someone when another party feels as if they should inquire but is not really committed to knowing the truth of the other. It is often asked in closer relationships when one party is feeling that there is something not okay but is not at peace with really hearing the answer. Because of our psychological programming, our fear of loss, our unstable emotional blockages  we naturally answer this question when posed it, “Yes, yes I am okay. – Yes, I am fine. – Yes, all is good.” These responses are not accurate in most cases. These responses come with mixed feelings. “Yes, I am okay.” Actually says, “No, I am not okay but I am scared to share where I really am with you. I don’t trust you will handle where I am so I am going to give you the answer that you want and that will allow you to stop further inquiry and not feel guilty about it.” This answer at the same time is saying,” I know you feel something and I want you to dig deeper. I want to express fully but don’t know how or am unsure if I can trust you to hold space for me and where I am. I hope you can feel me calling through and asking you to go deeper with me. I want to be loved unconditionally and heard/seen.”

Our need to be heard, seen, truly felt and space held for us is a vital aspect of our human experience and healing, however because we all come with our own baggage we are fearful of opening ourselves at these levels and in turn give and accept these bullshit inquiries and responses.

not okayThis is one of the main questions posed in society, in all of our relationships.  Through this question we actually convince ourselves that we care, that we want to know, that we have done our part in helping the one being asked, but stop and analyze this within yourself deeper. The last time you were asked this question, how did you respond? Did you feel heard? Felt? Seen? Did you feel any true connection or concern coming from the asking party or did you feel as though you and the other side had fulfilled a obligation of some sort  in the brief inquiry? The last time you asked this question of someone did you get the response you had hoped for and was good with it so left it at that surface inquiry or did you hear a lack of integrity from the person asked? Did you hear their programmed answer and take it to a deeper level where you opened the door to real authentic love and empathy? If you did this did you hold space for the other person or did you open that door with a need to prove that you could “fix” them or show them the right path. What was YOUR underlying agenda in the inquiry no matter how deep you chose to take it?

Communication; Heart-felt and accepted communication is what we are all craving and yet we are scared shitless of embracing. We become involved in many relationships in our life times and even in the most committed, loving and connected ones we prevent this from happening. We fall prey to our programming and to our egos.  Perhaps it is because we know that opening this doorway is like opening Pandora’s Box. Once opened we in truth  are forever changed and we run the risk of looking silly, weak, psychologically messed up, selfish, insecure, possibly even suicidal if we really got down to the nitty gritty in some cases. We run into the possibility of sharing more of ourselves then we ever have trusted share before and this may cause our friend, lover, family member to shut down because they are not equipped with the skills and the maturity to hear our truth.  Perhaps it is because we are all walking around with some amount of shame and distrust. We have been told from a young age to suck it up, that sharing these shadow lands of our internal selves is not healthy and it is actually selfish. We are told over and over again that emotion is meaningless, it is something that we need to learn to control and not embrace. We are told to hold it in, suppress it and move forward. Our society is programmed to believe that any emotional state of being that “Is NOT Okay,” is ill, wrong and should be suppressed in any way possible. Even medicated.  But does this mean that it is right?

When we block one emotional state and stop living in heart integrity we naturally start blocking others. In what can be a very short period of time we find ourselves completely masking life, our hearts, our souls and all that we have to offer. Our love even becomes muted and you can feel or see the radiant light that was once present draining away from our living corpse.  Our relationships, no matter how intimate become distant and we find ourselves alone, prisoners in this thing called life that we have no understanding of really.

Over and over again, I have heard from couple’s, especially men:

“She use to smile so much. Her smile could light up a room, if only she would do that now.”

“ When __________ is turned on she is the most extraordinary woman I have ever seen, I wish I knew how to get her into that state more.”

“She use to be so happy.”

“ I miss us talking about everything.  I use to think that together we could do anything in this world, but that was then. Reality has set in and life is hard. We were young and dumb.”

“ People change. I don’t make her happy anymore.”

“I wish she could share with me more.”

“I don’t think she loves me anymore.”

“ I wish we could just talk without her getting so over emotional.”

“Women are too emotional. Your hormones mess everything up, we men cannot take what you say, do or are acting like for reality. I wish women could just be more stable minded.”

On the reverse I hear:

“ He use to make me smile in how he handled everything and supported me.”

“I wish he would just open up and share what is bugging him so much instead of ignoring me.”

“ I know he knows that we have not been right for some time now, but he won’t hear me out.”

“ I feel so alone.”

“Its just my hormones that are acting up.  (It’s my period, I just got over my period, I am going through the change of life, I have the baby blues, etc)”

“It’s this new medication I am on.”

“I wish we could talk and he would just let me cry if I needed.”

These are all common statements made and felt. How sad it is that on both sides of the coin we feel a responsibility, a shame, a deep longing even to have more, embrace more but allow our egos to prevent the beauty of this soul communication by making us believe that if we express these “meaningless” emotions that we will sacrifice our relationship, ourselves and our image. If we open Pandora’s Box we are weak and immature, we are not cut out for this thing called life because the successful are strong and emotionless.

By opening this box though we do run the risk of seeing other souls at a deeper level and connecting with them in the space that they are at, we possibly may fall more in love with them, ourselves and with life by allowing both their humanness and our own to be revealed. We also run the risk of walking in a land that we have not traveled before ever or very much and see aspects of ourselves mirrored back at us that we are not fully ready to accept and heal. We may be asked to hold space or to support this other soul in a way that we are uncomfortable with. There may be nothing in return for us by opening at this level except a pain in our heart center that we cannot explain but feel great alignment with and wish we had someone that could hold this space for us.

gilrcatokayOur interconnectedness as humans is amazing, but the interconnected, soul lessons that we are blessed with at a greater depth with those that we are physically connected to (our children, lovers, parents, siblings and close friends) are all the more intense. Our egos would have us believe that we should ignore and close ourselves off to even these people but is this the right and healthy thing to do or just the easy way out?

The next time you ask someone, “Are you okay?” Stop and ask if you are really ready to hold space for this person and whatever their truth is? Ask yourself if you are ready to inquire deeper when they give you the socially acceptable and expected answer of, ‘yes, I am okay.”? If you are not ready to do these two things, then DON’T ask. Smile at them, take  a deep breath and walk away or ask a different surface question that will allow for idle communication without soul depth. If you choose to ask this question, be willing to embrace the other soul without judgment the best you can. Go as deep as you can with them in the moment. Know that most of us have never been allowed to express or experience deep communication and sharing and even though we crave it like the air we breathe, we will attempt over and over again to shut down the valves so that we won’t get hurt. Fear will be standing guard and the one who is being inquired of will look for ANY reason, any disconnect, any distance or fear within the inquirer to support the shut down. Past programs will be running at high speed in these intimate times and if a trigger is engaged you may have to recalculate, breathe and even allow for space to form to a degree before going deeper.

True authentic communication and acceptance is NOT easy or without risk. It takes a deep love and courage on both sides to reveal and be revealed into so much nakedness of self.

Do you have what it takes to love or be loved at this level?

–KW

scarletamorquote

That Shameful Yoga Ass

Sometimes you have to question the reasoning that people have to allow for such improper events to occur. What am I speaking of?  Parenting choices and the personal level of respect that we help our children to have for themselves. As a mother myself this very thought topic effects many of my choice’s day to day. What sort of example am I setting for them? How do they perceive my happiness, comfort in self, self-esteem and love of self? Are they seeing a strong, morally sound, well centered, loving woman or are they seeing an ill, repressed, confused, emotionally unstable, blaming woman who cannot get through her own garbage?

The fact of the matter in my life is that I have come to a state of being where I am who I am in each moment.  I am an emotional creature as god wired me so, but I am not quick to erupt or tormented by past traumas that I cannot seem to release to the shadows of a time gone by and lessons learned. The harmony outside of my physical body stems from the inner peace, self-love, acceptance and realization that reality is what it is in the present moment.  I have learned through the course of time and many harsh lessons that I am perfect and divine just the way I am and in however I choose to show up in the moment. There is no need to make apologies for being.  This is what I hope to share with my children, peace, acceptance and self awareness.  But how do we share these lessons? How do we make certain that we are walking the walk of the internal guru? How do we really know that our children see and hear these valuable life models of being?

Let me share a story.

yogaass

“It was a cold dreary day and the power kept resetting as the storm blew through causing our clocks to be off by who knows how many minutes. Mornings are always a quick moving, testing time within my home as three of my children have to be awoken from their slumber, eat breakfast, get lunches made, signatures in planners and the biggest ordeal, their shoes on. Like all mornings this was happening except with the time being wrong, we ran late and I decided that I would drive them the two blocks in the rain and wind instead of them getting cold and soaked as well as any later by walking.  We get to the school and they say goodbye and I love you as they slam the car doors shut and make a mad dash to the front doors of the school. Just then my attention goes from mommy mode and taxi driver to a deep breath. As I inhaled my ears opened and I tuned into the radio station that was playing in the car. The hosts on the station were having a deep conversation about some of the current events happening in some of our local schools. They were sharing that a few middle schools and even a high school (I think) were passing new dress codes, as the schools had come to the conclusion that yoga pants should not be allowed to be worn as every day dress.  

One male host shared his take that the parents allowing their daughters to wear yoga pants were just trying to be “cool parents” instead of instilling in their child a proper way of dressing and how when one dresses in this uncouth manner (yoga wear/exercise wear/COMFORT wear) that they are actually causing issues for others.  The focus was not on the girls comfort and ability to JUST BE THEMSELVES but on how the boy’s in school were being tormented by the yoga booties and that girls need to take full responsibility for the boy’s reactions. “

What about jeans?

Who remember’s the perfectly fitting, beautiful ass showing Rocky Mountain Jeans from the 80’s?

sexyjeans

Okay, so I get that I am not the average parent or individual for that matter in my viewing of things and how I process what the world brings to me. I get that I am far more open and a realist to life when it comes to everything especially my children and them growing up. But seriously, this whole talk seemed to be on shaming young women ages 11-18 for wearing yoga pants.  And to this the shame that is being bestowed on this group of young women carries out into the world to ALL women. And effects ALL males.

My questions to this topic of shameful yoga bootie are:

Is there anything that does not turn on or side track a young man when he is in his hormone high season?

What is more empowering to young men and women: teaching that someone else is responsible for our thoughts, feelings and actions (thus happiness or lack thereof) or that we are the creators of our inner world, it is OUR choice to focus on what thought, feeling or action we have or make?

Is socially shaming anyone or a group for something really benefiting the morality of the whole?

If a woman or girl who is wearing “yoga pants” is raped or sexually assaulted should we let the poor blinded boy/man off the hook because it was actually the girls fault?

bindingboobs

By shaming a young woman for this or a young man for something else are we really creating a healthy sexual future for this person(s)?

If we allow tank tops, tighter fitting t-shirts, yoga pants, or whatever else comes up to be illegal attire for everyday wear for young women because it side tracks the boys then should we also start having young women bind their bosoms so that their forming breasts do not side track the young men?

How about we just cover young developing women up from head to toe; only allowing their eyes to be revealed so that the boys can learn how to suppress and get a grip on their hormones and desires?

muslimgirls

The fact of the matter here is we exist in a sexually repressed culture.  One where more and more people are turning inward and shutting down. Depression, anxiety, sexual issues, mental illness, anger, fatigue, and dis-ease are all at an all time high. More and more cases of people suffering from being bipolar, ADD, ADHD, and stress induced illnesses are being reported.  Sexual crimes and abuse in many fashions are also growing at phenomenal rates. Our fear for the young women in yoga pants is that they will fall prey to someone who has not learned how to deal with their sexuality in a healthy fashion. We also fear that if young men are surrounded by too much mental stimulation that they will burst and become one of these ill acting sexually challenged souls.

As parents, teachers and a society we want the best for our youth but we really have no clue of how to create it. The reason for this is because we are all victims raised by victims and has been programmed to believe that our sexuality is the source of all evil. Okay so maybe you were taught that money was the source of all evil, well money and sexuality is what causes ALL the worlds’ pain, suffering and demise.  MmmmHmmmm! Sure.

Pain, suffering, ill behaviors, war, terror, rape, and more are all caused not by money and sexuality but by power hungry ego thoughts that manifest into actions of control. When we start to believe that someone else is responsible for making us happy, providing for our love, our bliss, our stress release and that if they do not do the right things and give us what we “need” then they are causing us suffering in some fashion so we have to TAKE it or at least try taking it (forcing our will onto another), we have the true culprit of suffering.

By teaching our young male population that a girl should not do this, say that, wear this, listen to that or act some certain way we are in fact teaching the young male population that their thoughts and actions should be based on what someone else is “causing” them to feel or think. This is not being proactive for the self. We are also sending mixed teachings to young men saying that it is okay for a man to speak, do, act, go topless, etc.  But not a female, thus teaching that man rules woman. In the same essence we tell boys to respect women and treat them like ladies, yet we pump our media, games and movies full of the reverse. We worry about young men seeing a girl in yoga pants and a t-shirt at school and getting a hard on but we have no worries about the porn he has on his phone, his computer or the virtual women he is in combat with that are almost naked and portraying women in a plastic sense. We tell young men to not act on their sexual desires as they are sinful or sex is only for marriage or a committed relationship, that masturbation is nasty or dirty, yet when we walk into a store or turn on the TV we are bombarded with sexual advertising and shows and games that show the opposite. The same goes for young women.

The policy change on yoga pants for some schools will not prevent boys from being sidetracked or have sexual desires and act on them, but these policies will go to feeding the sexual shame and repression that so many women suffer from. The next generation will have one more lashing of shame to overcome. Sadly the young men of today who are being tormented by this shameful yoga ass will in future years  be tormented in a much more severe way. That once hot yoga ass girl will not be able to open up to deep loving penetration and orgasm with her lover because through the years the suppression of who she was and the ability to be comfortable in herself and in the pants she chose to wear will cause her to block physical and emotional feeling. She will need healing for shame and taught how her sexuality is empowering not sinful. That is IF she awakens to why she feels so lost, so ill, repressed, confused, emotionally unstable, blaming  and possibly even suicidal. IF she can find the courage 20-30 years down the road to deal with her garbage that was tossed into her youth by a sexually repressed and ill society.

Some do, most don’t. Welcome to the world of pharmaceutical drugs, street drugs, alcohol, 70% divorce rates, affairs, domestic abuse and emotional whirl-winds!!!!

–KW