I got this for you.
I got you this thing.
I got you this thing that I had to get you.
I am sure you will love it.
I know you will.
I got this for you.
It’s my favorite,
and is your’s now too.
Oh you said that you like that.
And so I it is true.
That now all you want,
is this thing.
Over and over,
I will never venture out.
I am not looking at what you say,
all I can focus on is making sure that you have this thing till you want it no more.
I love you.
I like you.
I adore you.
I cannot get enough of you.
And so it must be so,
that you too,
feel this thing I am feeling,
and want it as much.
I desire this to happen,
I crave it so much,
My mind wants to devour you,
as my body wants to taste and feel.
I cannot hear your words of denial,
I cannot allow myself to pay heed,
you must want this too.
It is a gift that I give you.
And even though you say no,
I know that you want this.
Because it is true.
Your words are like nails on a chalk board,
why do you argue with me?
Your silence is deafening,
why don’t you give thanks for all that I do?
It must mean more to you.
I must be with you.
I know that you feel something,
you say it is nothing,
you say it cannot be so.
I love you.
I adore you.
I want more of you.
So it is this way.
My desire has me blinded.
My hunger has me deaf.
My heart pains at your denial,
so I will show you,
yes I will.
I know that you will love it.
I know it will be so.
Just give me this moment.
To absorb all you are.
Stop making such a big deal of it.
Why are you hiding over there?
I know that you will love it.
So let me show you my dear.
You make me feel so alive.
You make me smile with your presence.
You make me feel superhuman,
so accept this gift I am giving.
Accept this “love” I am offering.
Stop denying it.
You know you want it.
You know you love it.
You like it.
You want it.
A tale I hardly speak of is the tale of being a rape survivor,
however I wish to express this today as when I walk through this world, I see so many rapes in so many different fashions.
The above is a share that was activated by a trigger from someone in my life recently.
Although there was no harm done,
although I am certain that there was no intent of such,
not even a trigger.
I find it my mission, to speak out loud and have a voice for all those who cannot.
So bare with me here,
as what I am saying may possibly cause you ill feelings,
for your guilt as much as any other human for the rape offenses that we all have made and played down without notice to the messages of ego shared.
No matter what it is.
No matter the gift.
Not all gifts are gifts you see,
for a gift can only truly be received in love when the receiver desires the gift,
wants for it some way,
or truly is something that speaks their name.
But, many a gift has nothing to do with the receiver,
and everything to do about the giver,
who longs to be seen.
To be accepted.
To be loved.
At all cost they will go.
Not noticing the one that they love.
They place their hunger before the heart of another.
No matter the event,
no matter the intimacy shared.
If it is not two sided in wanting,
then it is nothing more than a taking.
You think it is romantic,
you think is sweet,
you think is no big deal,
but when we steal an intimacy with another,
we ignore all that they are.
We crave more for our desire.
We fear more about our pain,
our rejection of not getting,
of not having or experiencing,
what we want is all that matters,
and so we paint a picture of what will be and ignore all the strokes of anything different.
a tender touch you see.
All can be innocent and precious,
but when not wanted they are a trespass.
Just as the gift that one might give that is not desired,
can be nothing more than a nuisance.
A problem you see.
We trespass others in so many ways.
From touches to things.
Be aware is all that is stated here.
A lesson for me and you.
We all are guilty of taking.
Ask yourself this,
“This action, this thing, these words that I share: are they from my desire to have what I want or give what is wanted?”
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Are you effing kidding me?
How can you do that to your body?
To your psyche?
To your everything?
I don’t effing get it.
I get it because I use to do it too.
I did it so much that I grew comfortable with it.
It just became part of my norm.
And I did not see the bitterness and resentment that it engraved into my life,
into my relationship,
until it was too late.
I thought it was just how it was.
And that it was “okay.”
After all life is about compromise, right?
We cannot always have things our way,
we have to find a space that neither side gets what it wants and both give in to something that is doable to make the results the best they can be.
So, this is what I thought I was doing.
And I was.
And you are too!
But you want in on a little secret?
Not a secret, actually,
just a reality that you may not want t o hear because you may feel disgusting after you fully digest it.
In these times like I share here,
which happens to be all too many times in our lives.
In all areas of our life as I have discovered.
You are raping yourself.
I just said that.
And I will say it again.
So happy f-cking Monday morn my peep’s!!!!
You are raping yourself.
You most likely are doing it right now.
Or you soon will be.
Or you will in a few hours or by the end of today.
Your raping yourself.
You are are bending over,
spreading yourself open,
saying “sure, that’s okay….yeah…yeah…let’s do this or that.”
You are believing that you have to do that in order to exist
You have to do it in order to keep peace,
in order to enjoy some rewards that you don’t believe you will have unless you give of yourself in this fashion.
You believe that if you were to say no.
To say I am not in the mood.
I am not turned on to this or that.
It does not feel good to me.
That actually hurts me.
I don’t like that at all.
I never get anything from this.
some other statement of your lack of interest in it,
that you would loose something.
You are afraid that you would have life shut you down in some way.
You are afraid that if you stated your truth,
that you would not be received well,
and then that would hurt you more than just saying yes,
when you are a no.
So you say, ” Okay.. let’s do it! ”
And you figure, ” It’s just compromise. It’s just the way life is. You cannot have everything you want all the time. So what’s the harm is giving of yourself this time or the next when even though you really hate it, or are shut down to it?”
Whats the BIG effing deal?
Rape seems like a harsh term to use Kendal.
I am not raping myself!
I am just compromising.
I am just letting someone else use my body, my time, my energy, my money, my life for their pleasure. For their abundance building. for their goals and aspirations.
That is the way life works.
Have you not heard?
Sure I don’t feel great afterward.
My body feels yuck.
I feel a low grade depression.
I feel weaker,
less excited about things.
I have a tough time looking in the mirror.
Or making eye contact.
I crave all the wrong foods or I feel like not eating at all.
I am testy.
Can’t sleep well.
Weaken immune system.
Yeah so what.
That is just part of life.
It’s not rape.
Well, I am sorry to shed the light on this for you,
but as a woman who has experienced rape in the sexual nature a couple of times in my life,
and as a woman who has had all too much duty sex AKA self rape ( in my opinion),
and as a woman who has allowed herself to be raped emotionally, psychologically, financially, time wise and many other ways through out life here and there.
I will tell you with utter certainty.
YOU ARE RAPING YOURSELF!!!!!
And to make matters worse.
You think its normal.
That you have too.
Have a little love for yourself already.
You got no love?
How about empathy?
Where the f-ck is your give a shit for you?
Yet you claim you want a life worth living.
You claim you want to make changes.
You claim you want joy,
But you think by spreading your legs and allowing someone else to have their way, to pump pump eww goo in you and get theirs that you are going to somehow succeed at having the life that you want? ( scratching my head here.)
Are you effing kidding me?
You are crazy!
That is all I have to say.
I get it.
I REALLY do.
Because I have been you.
In all areas of my life.
But you know what the reality is?
At some point,
You have to close up your rape shop.
You have to start to honor yourself enough,
to say NO.
You have to get into integrity with the most important person in your life.
And you have to not just give it lip service, no you have to actually commit to it.
You want freedom based living?
You want a F-ck Yes Life?
You want to be in love with yourself and your life?
You want to be proud of yourself?
You want to actually succeed at having what you claim you want?
Well here is the gig.
You must stop raping yourself.
In all areas of your life.
It is time.
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“My pussy ached from desire. Throbbing sensations quaked through my muscles and into my joints. I could feel heat in my womb as my chest grew tighter. It had been far to long since I felt open, passionate, clear, confident and orgasmic. Every part of my body and soul longed for him or any one of my lovers to just take me. It seemed as though I was meeting resistance from the universe through each man and through myself. The more I hungered for the transformative waves to force me into orgasmic surrender the farther they seemed out of my grasp. The more I became determined to speak of my hunger, to send signals that I was wet with anticipation and desire, the more the men in my life seemed to turn away.
Lost in the illusions of depression, ego was at reign. There were far more important things to deal with then my physical neediness and hunger for bliss. After all, there were bills to pay, children to care for, and duties to tend to. This is what was needed. This is what I had to focus on. The masculine mind was ever present and with it came a discontent, disconnected vibration to life, to love, family, finance and any amount of abundance or joy. How could my desire for sex and the lack of filling it prevent me from experiencing happiness and abundance in other areas as well?
Feeling as though there was possibly no hope and that these sensations that I had approached and waded through at other low times of my life journey were only raising their head yet again because of some lesson that I had thought I had learned but obviously had not, I decided that my pleasure, my surrender was in no ones hands but my own. A deep dedication to self pleasuring began to happen. At the sight of any form of sexual tension I found myself whisked off to the shower or taking a fifteen minute time out in the bedroom or closet, trying to simply alleviate some of the pinned up energy. Each time I dove into a quick self pleasuring act I felt as though my clit and entire pussy were on fire, as though I had an active ready to blow any minute volcano between my legs. Finding it hard to remain present with myself, facing old programs of shame for touching myself, fear of getting caught I could not even bring myself to relish in a fantasy to increase my pleasure. I was simply jacking off as quickly as I could. Not surrendering to my desire and certainly not allowing myself to fully be penetrated by love or life. Each 5 to 10 minute masturbation excursion left me even more lost, distant, depressed and hungry for connection and ravishing.
The thing I knew but was ignoring was the simple fact that I was not only malnourished in the act of sexing, but I was depleted from the energy of the deep connection that a gourmet session of sex would give. I was lacking in the life giving nutrients of the positive mood enhancers that orgasm would provide. In my inability to surrender even to myself I had also slammed shut the door to my lovers, making it physically impossible for me to go deep enough in any sex act offered. The need to be taken was me wanting to give credit or push blame on someone else instead of being proactive and realizing that even in the physical connection process of making love it was up to ONLY me to be open, expansive and happy. My being taken started by my releasing into the now. By making my sex conscious and staying present with my body and with my partner I could then accept the pleasure and the release that would come from it. Only through this consciousness could I embrace life so strongly that it would use my lovers body to fuck me wide open.
It was with this realization that opportunity was given for me to open up to trust and to orgasm. My desire was not for sex, it was not for release or climax it was only for penetration. To me to be taken meant that I surrendered to life through my lover. There we were snuggled in bed as though it were any other winter night. All these thoughts dancing through my mind wanting to be vocalized, my heart wanting to be penetrated, to be circumcised. I could hear the call of my pussy begging my hands to reach out and touch him, to encourage the game to begin. My mouth watered and even though we had been lovers for some time and he knew me passionately and intimately to my core I felt a tremble of fear that he would deny me my desire. The unspoken words must have been heavy in the air because without hesitation his hand slipped over my naked hip and across my stomach. His fingers danced on the seat of my clit, slowly pulling its hood back so that he could access “the spot.” His hand warm to the touch washed over my vulva, a finger plowing deep into my wetness. I could feel butterflies fluttering from pussy to heart as I leaned into him and gasped for a breath before allowing his tongue to plunge deep into my mouth.
His fingers knew exactly how to play me and with each kiss I felt my body soften. Spreading my legs for him as though I was opening the gates to a great coliseum and he was the gladiator. His fingers stroking not only my clit anymore but now curving upward with each internal stroke, I could feel my G-spot expand as well as my sponge fill. The time had come, he pressed his hard throbbing cock deep into me. He did not stop to ask, he did not pause at my velvet gates, he just lovingly and forcefully took us both to the next level. His clear direction and focus lead his cock to my outer walls. I desperately wanted to feel him yet deeper in me. I wanted him to fuck my heart. Consciously I lay there beneath him, our bodies swaying in harmony, my pussy tightening and sucking on him with each focused muscle spasm. My desire growing to be fucked wide open in this moment, I knew there was only one way to achieve my desire and pull him deeper. My consciousness became focused on opening the door he was knocking on. With each gentle nudge of his penis head on my cervix I breathed and relaxed, I visualized embracing him like I had not done before. Slowly I felt the pressure release into emotion and heart pounding bliss. It was as if there were a penetration happening within a penetration. The surrender was expansive and I could feel him penetrate my core, my heart, my soul. Tears welled up in my eyes as my heart shook in orgasm.
Life was knocking at my womb.”
The experience of craving sexual release and to be penetrated like this is nothing new or even unique for most women. It is a well documented fact that women in all actuality are the more sexual half of humankind. Women have the drive and are built for long interludes of sexing. Our bodies are a designer highway that rely on the transport of orgasm to keep our psychological, physiological, spiritual and emotional bodies in an optimum state. An underf**ked woman is a woman who is a fragile shell of herself. She is a woman who is full of emotion, and desire but cannot communicate these things in a strong feminine way without appearing hormonal and out of balance, depressed, co-dependent, fearful, hateful, stressed, caught in her mind and simple dreary. The other aspect of a woman who is not properly f**ked is that she is not allowing for her divine state of being a woman to guide her, her intuition is out of harmony and she distrusts almost everything. Feeling the entire time that she HAS to control her environment and that she will not be cared for in life.
There are many things that can contribute to a woman closing herself to the raptures of orgasm and some of them are things that need medical attention may that be chiropractic or actual surgery to help repair tears or nerves that have been damaged due to a multitude of things such as rape, child birth, or other physically impacting issues and/or accidents. As Naomi Wolf states in her new book Vagina, ” … recent science has found that the vagina’s experiences can – on the level of biology – boost women’s self-confidence, or else can lead to failures of self-confidence; can help unleash female creativity or present blocks to female creativity. These experiences can contribute to a woman’s sense of the joyful interconnectedness of the material and spiritual world – or else to her grieving awareness of the loss of the sense of interconectedness… the latter can lead not only to a decrease in her desire for sex, but also risk a tincture in the rest of her life of what can only be called “existential depression” or “despair.”
How can the vagina and orgasm play such a BIG role in all areas of a woman’s life and well-being? And if this is fact then how can we as a society remain in a prehistoric viewpoint of the vagina with limited terms? The autonomic nervous system prepares the way for the neural impulses that travel from a woman’s vagina, clitoris and labia to her brain and it is this intricate system that regulates her responses creating stimulation and relaxation. Yet we treat the pussy as though it were a cock. We view it in pornographic light and expect that a woman will and should respond in similar fashion as a man does. Only through the focused, slow opening can a woman become comfortable with surrendering in the fashion we are speaking of here. We are told that there are skills that lovers can learn so that they can play a woman’s body like a fine musical instrument, we are taught to focus not on “real orgasm” but on climax, and how many climaxes the lover “CAN GIVE” her. These are all misinformed notions of female sexuality and orgasm. Because we are not taught the art of truly touching a woman deeply, the majority of women’s activation centers are ignored and even when she has sex with her partner or herself she may experience climax, but often will not reap the rewards of real orgasm and certainly not experience the rapture and release necessary to be transported into the heavens where interconnectedness with God happens. She will not be able to be fulfilled and truly be f**ked open by life and love thus only experiencing a superficial aspect of herself, orgasm and connectedness. Leaving her vessel depleted and her heart and pussy locked away in devastation and hope. When a woman is f**ked wide open to the levels that are possible for ALL women and is our birth right and divine design, then she becomes an expression of beauty, joy, grace, strength, creativity and confidence.
Picture by kotaku.com
Body armoring is a process whereby past traumatic experiences are stored in the body’s muscle tissues. What happens is that the body’s tissues harden, creating tension and blocking energy in the area that has been traumatized. By armoring itself, the body’s intention is to reduce its vulnerability to pain. But this process has the parallel effect of reducing our capacity for feeling pleasure.
In this regard the male and female sex organs are as prone to armoring as the rest of the body and can function at a reduced level of sensitivity. In fact, because the sexual organs have been subjected to vigorous condemnation from childhood onward, the genital area has become a major storehouse of negative imprints, greatly reducing our capacity for sexual pleasure and preventing full enjoyment of orgasmic release. Think about it for a moment. Traces of the emotional content of every unsatisfactory sexual experience have been recorded in the muscular tissues of your genitals, building up tension in the area so slowly that you did not even suspect that it was happening.
In men, circumcision, early experiences of guilt and fear associated with masturbation, clumsy prostatic examinations, and a compulsion to demonstrate “masculinity” by being forceful and thrusting in lovemaking all contribute to genital armoring. This armoring can manifest itself as a hardening of the penis, causing penile insensitivity that requires extremely strong stimulation in order to achieve arousal or, by contrast, it can result in an oversensitivity and fragility of the foreskin that translates into the attitude, “Don’t touch me!” Armoring in men also manifests itself in the form of chronic tension in the anal sphincter muscles, involuntary erections, and an attitude of sexual greed – the need for repeated genital stimulation.
In women, armoring can be caused by guilty masturbation, forceful male fingering, sexual intercourse without sufficient foreplay, making love when you don’t feel like it, failing to reach orgasm, having an abortion, or undergoing a caesarean birth or a hysterectomy. These contribute to the build-up of insensitivity in tissues around the vagina and pelvis. This tension manifests itself most commonly as a subtle tightness or stiffness in a vagina that never fully relaxes, even during intercourse. As a result, it is only narrowly receptive to the male organ.
Through working with many women, I have been able to create an “armoring map” of the vagina, showing how certain types of fears are related to specific areas of the female sex organs.
• Vaginal lips: fear of opening, shame, desire to hide, a feeling of “l can’t do this!”
• Clitoris: nervousness, distrust, impatience, holding tight, like clenching your fists or teeth when you don’t want to express your anger
• Perineum and perineal sponge: difficulty letting go into pleasure, numbness
•G spot: sexual frustration as a result of faking orgasm, performance anxiety, feeling inadequate, pushing for orgasm and not getting it
•Vagina canal around cervix: anger, expecting the worst, neediness, feeling like a victim, abortions, and childbirth traumas
If you are not sure whether genital armoring applies to you, try answering these questions. Think about them slowly rather than giving a reflex response:
Women: Were you forced into sexual intercourse or sexual manipulation at an early age, before you were ready?
Have you ever made love because your partner was turned on, even though you didn’t feel like it?
Have you ever felt your partner left you “hanging in mid-air” while he was already “over the edge”?
Have you ever faked an orgasm?
Men: Have you ever made love as a performance, even though you had no enthusiasm for it?
Have you ever found yourself so busy giving pleasure to your woman that you forgot about your own pleasure?
Both: During sex have you ever found to your dismay that you couldn’t feel anything “down there”?
Have you ever made love as way of avoiding confrontation with your partner or covering up your anger?
Have you ever believed that everyone else was sexual and orgasmic, while you were lagging way behind, feeling just a trickle of a sensation?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you probably have some body armoring in your genitals. This armoring also translates into psychological attitudes -for instance, feeling uncomfortable talking about your sexuality or your genitals, or feeling discomfort when your lover examines your genitals. Working with hundreds of people, I have found that armoring seriously inhibits sexual sensitivity and therefore blocks deeper pleasure. I have also found that it is difficult for people to be open to the ecstasy of High Sex until the whole genital and anal area has been cleaned of imprints left by negative sexual experiences. Only through direct, hands-on, loving massage around and inside the genital area can we effectively heal these past wounds and transform pain into, pleasure. To do this we need to direct our full attention and acceptance to the way our genitals feel.
When the penis is healed, it becomes flexible, warm, and vibrantly alive when erect. In addition to the stimulation provided by vigorous sexual intercourse, this increased sensitivity enables the man to receive pleasure by resting his penis in the vagina in a gentle, relaxed, non-demanding way. Prior to healing, he may not have been able to feel anything without continued stimulation.
When the vagina is healed, it becomes naturally yielding, soft, and welcoming, allowing a sense of trust and playfulness in lovemaking. The vaginal muscles are elastic and respond to the penis by massaging it naturally.
Love and acceptance are the key ingredients for healing. That is why we need to understand the meaning of loving ourselves and our bodies before we can even think of making love with another person. Only then are we fully ready and available for the joys of ecstatic lovemaking.
READ Entire Artice at Tantra.com (No Longer Available)
Sometimes you have to question the reasoning that people have to allow for such improper events to occur. What am I speaking of? Parenting choices and the personal level of respect that we help our children to have for themselves. As a mother myself this very thought topic effects many of my choice’s day to day. What sort of example am I setting for them? How do they perceive my happiness, comfort in self, self-esteem and love of self? Are they seeing a strong, morally sound, well centered, loving woman or are they seeing an ill, repressed, confused, emotionally unstable, blaming woman who cannot get through her own garbage?
The fact of the matter in my life is that I have come to a state of being where I am who I am in each moment. I am an emotional creature as god wired me so, but I am not quick to erupt or tormented by past traumas that I cannot seem to release to the shadows of a time gone by and lessons learned. The harmony outside of my physical body stems from the inner peace, self-love, acceptance and realization that reality is what it is in the present moment. I have learned through the course of time and many harsh lessons that I am perfect and divine just the way I am and in however I choose to show up in the moment. There is no need to make apologies for being. This is what I hope to share with my children, peace, acceptance and self awareness. But how do we share these lessons? How do we make certain that we are walking the walk of the internal guru? How do we really know that our children see and hear these valuable life models of being?
Let me share a story.
“It was a cold dreary day and the power kept resetting as the storm blew through causing our clocks to be off by who knows how many minutes. Mornings are always a quick moving, testing time within my home as three of my children have to be awoken from their slumber, eat breakfast, get lunches made, signatures in planners and the biggest ordeal, their shoes on. Like all mornings this was happening except with the time being wrong, we ran late and I decided that I would drive them the two blocks in the rain and wind instead of them getting cold and soaked as well as any later by walking. We get to the school and they say goodbye and I love you as they slam the car doors shut and make a mad dash to the front doors of the school. Just then my attention goes from mommy mode and taxi driver to a deep breath. As I inhaled my ears opened and I tuned into the radio station that was playing in the car. The hosts on the station were having a deep conversation about some of the current events happening in some of our local schools. They were sharing that a few middle schools and even a high school (I think) were passing new dress codes, as the schools had come to the conclusion that yoga pants should not be allowed to be worn as every day dress.
One male host shared his take that the parents allowing their daughters to wear yoga pants were just trying to be “cool parents” instead of instilling in their child a proper way of dressing and how when one dresses in this uncouth manner (yoga wear/exercise wear/COMFORT wear) that they are actually causing issues for others. The focus was not on the girls comfort and ability to JUST BE THEMSELVES but on how the boy’s in school were being tormented by the yoga booties and that girls need to take full responsibility for the boy’s reactions. “
What about jeans?
Who remember’s the perfectly fitting, beautiful ass showing Rocky Mountain Jeans from the 80’s?
Okay, so I get that I am not the average parent or individual for that matter in my viewing of things and how I process what the world brings to me. I get that I am far more open and a realist to life when it comes to everything especially my children and them growing up. But seriously, this whole talk seemed to be on shaming young women ages 11-18 for wearing yoga pants. And to this the shame that is being bestowed on this group of young women carries out into the world to ALL women. And effects ALL males.
My questions to this topic of shameful yoga bootie are:
Is there anything that does not turn on or side track a young man when he is in his hormone high season?
What is more empowering to young men and women: teaching that someone else is responsible for our thoughts, feelings and actions (thus happiness or lack thereof) or that we are the creators of our inner world, it is OUR choice to focus on what thought, feeling or action we have or make?
Is socially shaming anyone or a group for something really benefiting the morality of the whole?
If a woman or girl who is wearing “yoga pants” is raped or sexually assaulted should we let the poor blinded boy/man off the hook because it was actually the girls fault?
By shaming a young woman for this or a young man for something else are we really creating a healthy sexual future for this person(s)?
If we allow tank tops, tighter fitting t-shirts, yoga pants, or whatever else comes up to be illegal attire for everyday wear for young women because it side tracks the boys then should we also start having young women bind their bosoms so that their forming breasts do not side track the young men?
How about we just cover young developing women up from head to toe; only allowing their eyes to be revealed so that the boys can learn how to suppress and get a grip on their hormones and desires?
The fact of the matter here is we exist in a sexually repressed culture. One where more and more people are turning inward and shutting down. Depression, anxiety, sexual issues, mental illness, anger, fatigue, and dis-ease are all at an all time high. More and more cases of people suffering from being bipolar, ADD, ADHD, and stress induced illnesses are being reported. Sexual crimes and abuse in many fashions are also growing at phenomenal rates. Our fear for the young women in yoga pants is that they will fall prey to someone who has not learned how to deal with their sexuality in a healthy fashion. We also fear that if young men are surrounded by too much mental stimulation that they will burst and become one of these ill acting sexually challenged souls.
As parents, teachers and a society we want the best for our youth but we really have no clue of how to create it. The reason for this is because we are all victims raised by victims and has been programmed to believe that our sexuality is the source of all evil. Okay so maybe you were taught that money was the source of all evil, well money and sexuality is what causes ALL the worlds’ pain, suffering and demise. MmmmHmmmm! Sure.
Pain, suffering, ill behaviors, war, terror, rape, and more are all caused not by money and sexuality but by power hungry ego thoughts that manifest into actions of control. When we start to believe that someone else is responsible for making us happy, providing for our love, our bliss, our stress release and that if they do not do the right things and give us what we “need” then they are causing us suffering in some fashion so we have to TAKE it or at least try taking it (forcing our will onto another), we have the true culprit of suffering.
By teaching our young male population that a girl should not do this, say that, wear this, listen to that or act some certain way we are in fact teaching the young male population that their thoughts and actions should be based on what someone else is “causing” them to feel or think. This is not being proactive for the self. We are also sending mixed teachings to young men saying that it is okay for a man to speak, do, act, go topless, etc. But not a female, thus teaching that man rules woman. In the same essence we tell boys to respect women and treat them like ladies, yet we pump our media, games and movies full of the reverse. We worry about young men seeing a girl in yoga pants and a t-shirt at school and getting a hard on but we have no worries about the porn he has on his phone, his computer or the virtual women he is in combat with that are almost naked and portraying women in a plastic sense. We tell young men to not act on their sexual desires as they are sinful or sex is only for marriage or a committed relationship, that masturbation is nasty or dirty, yet when we walk into a store or turn on the TV we are bombarded with sexual advertising and shows and games that show the opposite. The same goes for young women.
The policy change on yoga pants for some schools will not prevent boys from being sidetracked or have sexual desires and act on them, but these policies will go to feeding the sexual shame and repression that so many women suffer from. The next generation will have one more lashing of shame to overcome. Sadly the young men of today who are being tormented by this shameful yoga ass will in future years be tormented in a much more severe way. That once hot yoga ass girl will not be able to open up to deep loving penetration and orgasm with her lover because through the years the suppression of who she was and the ability to be comfortable in herself and in the pants she chose to wear will cause her to block physical and emotional feeling. She will need healing for shame and taught how her sexuality is empowering not sinful. That is IF she awakens to why she feels so lost, so ill, repressed, confused, emotionally unstable, blaming and possibly even suicidal. IF she can find the courage 20-30 years down the road to deal with her garbage that was tossed into her youth by a sexually repressed and ill society.
Some do, most don’t. Welcome to the world of pharmaceutical drugs, street drugs, alcohol, 70% divorce rates, affairs, domestic abuse and emotional whirl-winds!!!!
Why Show-N-Tell Sex Ed?
Why Live demo’s?
Why offer hands on training?
This is all to TABOO!!!!
Monkey See; Monkey Slam, Bam, Thank You, Ma’am!
It’s one thing for sex educators to talk about sex or show you pictures and graphs on a projector screen. It’s another thing entirely when sex educators show you how to do something, and invite you to ask questions… Especially when it’s not demonstrated on a piece of fruit, but on a real, live person!
Human beings are very much wired with a “monkey see, monkey do” mentality. Many of us learn best by watching. Because we are not allowed to learn about sex from watching others, our culture has turned to porn for tips and tricks in the sack.
With the ease and proliferation of free porn on the interwebs, now more than ever, porn is influencing how we behave behind closed doors (or in the back seat of our parent’s SUV). The problem with porn, in my opinion, isn’t that people are watching it; it’s that people are using porn as a How-To medium.s are very much wired with a “monkey see, monkey do” mentality. Many of us learn best by watching. Because we are not allowed to learn about sex from watching others, our culture has turned to porn for tips and tricks in the sack.
Watching porn isn’t the same as watching a qualified sex educator role model great communication techniques, ask permission, check in with their partner, get verbal permission from them before touching them, and then properly put a condom on while encouraging the spectators to ask questions.
There are several things when it comes to helping people learn about sex that are actually more easily learned if I show you the technique on a living, breathing human being and you can watch and ask us questions – an audience gets to see what “real sex” looks like. They can pick up the subtle nuances that aren’t always visible in pornography’s tightly choreographed and edited product. The more real the sex, the easier it is to grasp and transfer that feeling good and being respectful and safe has little to do with DD breasts, 12-inch cocks and squirting orgasms.
Yes, it’s a bit unorthodox by today’s standards to invite adults into a room to learn how to be a better lover by watching explicit, live demonstrations, but the simple fact is that even just talking openly about sex and intimacy in an honest and vulnerable manner is not the norm. There is so much work to be done! And there aren’t a lot of sex educators teaching explicit workshops.” — Reid Mihalko
Learn to feel your partner or any lover in a way never experienced before. These workshops are designed to help answer your most sensual questions. Each workshop is designed for Single’s or those in a relationship.
“This could not have been a better Event and Demo. It was given with both sensitivity and information enabling me to be much more loving, respectful and talented with the woman I am with in the future. Great Thanks, Alexander, Kendal and Sharon” — Sandy from Dallas (Dec.2012 Female Genital Massage Demo Workshop)
Over the course of my career as a Sex & Relationship Coach, Tantra Teacher I have explored many away to help my clients better grow in understanding, overcoming blockages, shame, fear, judgement’s, body image issues, relationship issues and pitfalls, and many intimate sexually related problems as well as learning how to manifest a life that they desire and deserve to live in total bliss and abundance. One of the most powerful events as a teacher is to see your student/client excel and reach past the boundaries that they thought they had to remain fearful off. To see someone achieve their dreams in life and live abundance in ALL ways not just one idea of it.
Show-N-Tell Sex Ed allows for barriers to be pushed, questions to be answered and understanding at a much deeper level to unfold through the experiential exercises and Live Demo’s provided in a workshop. The expansion that participant achieve is unlike no other. It is a perfect solution as well to those who want to explore but are not ready for one-on-one bodywork or even a couple’s session. The ability to view and possible do some hands on learning opens gateways of education. Although Show-N-Tell Sex Ed is still a taboo for many people in society I think an easy to digest way to look at it is through the artists eye not the pornographic eye.
Anyone who takes a college art class would not be surprised or feel it taboo to have a live nude model come in to the classroom for all the students to view and draw or mold a piece of art after. This is a NORM in the classroom, just as with many educational practices for doctors to view, handle and even explore on a nude or partially nude model. I mean do you really think that a Gyno just learns out of a book and from some video’s? No, hands on learning, show-n-tell experiences, this is where the true are of education and understanding happens.
” I did not know it was possible for a man to have a full body orgasm and not come. This workshop taught me techniques that I never knew about in all of my love-making history. Thank you Kendal and Alexander.” — Debbie (Jan. 2013 Male Genital Massage Demo Workshop)
Why is it that we as a society believe that we don’t need a deeper understanding of one of the most intimate, important and powerful parts of our lives as humans? Why do we put our sexuality and loving on the back burner? Why do we think a book is the only way to expand our sexual understanding? And who really believes that there is some set format to learning about these intimate matters of our human experience?
No matter where you are in the world if you have the opportunity to explore a Show-N-Tell Sex Ed Workshop from a Coach/teacher DO!!!! Your life will only improve as well as your love skills!
Let the Artist of your bedroom out to play TODAY!!!!