Are Your Relationship Idea’s Making You A Prostitute?

Every woman wants a guy to have a rockin’ resume!

I mean all of us want that night in shining armor.
We want him to be tall, dark and handsome.
We want him to be rich.
We want him to be generous and compassionate.
We want him to be romantic and a good listener.
We want him to be world traveled.
We want him to be intelligent.
We want him to love our bodies as they are.
We want him to love our minds and hearts more.
We want him to just get us.
We want him to be passionate and playful.
We want him to be confident.
We want him to act like a grown up and take care of his responsibilities.
We want him to do everything right in the bedroom.
We want him to be a good kisser.
We want him to appreciate everything that we do.
We want him to respect us.
We want him to worship us.
We want him to be everything that we want him to be and just get it without us ever having to tell him what we want.

I mean if he just paid attention and was present,
if he inquired and asked the right question at the right times,
then he would know.

If he listened then all would be right in the relationship.
That is of course as long as he never pushed us to do or be anything that we did not want to do or be….

And he just accepted what he got for all that grandness that he is offering up.

Now we live in a world where sugar babies, paid hook ups and lies are just a way of relating.

We live in this world where if a woman wants something at work that she pretty much can get it for the right price.
And smart, well educated, go getter women EVERY DAY pay these prices with “respectable” bosses and elite men in power to advance themselves.

How can this be?
How can this be a designer relationship that anyone is happy with?
Its merely based in the man getting a place to stick his junk occasionally and release somewhere outside of the palm of his hand or the toilet and in return for this the woman gets taken care of financially or gains promotions, business advances, networking deals, or simply a monthly payment and some gifts and travel.

Either way its what many relationships for both single and married people are like.

I know many very affluent people who have mistresses of this nature. And I know many married women as well as single women who are gaining power and success in business and finances this way.

And its not even looked down on.
Where I live in North Texas just outside of Dallas,
its almost assumed that if you are a woman in her 20’s or 30’s that you have at least one if not two or three sugar daddy’s supporting your lifestyle, schooling and goals.

It is the sin that is not spoken of,
but is expected if you had an open raw unfiltered conversation with almost any man who makes decent earnings and if you sat with any woman who was “dating.”

That’s why such websites such as whats your price, sugar daddy, seeking arrangements and others of this nature are growing at the levels that they are.

So the question comes,
“What is the turn on to this style of relationship?”

Because obviously it may appear empty of true connection, love, friendship and a desire to be long standing. It is simply based on two people using each other to meet their needs.

Or is it?

Just last night this very topic came up on a double date I was on with a good friend. And as we conversed about it, the statement came around that these sort of relationships may perhaps be great examples of people doing what they “should” be doing no matter the relationship.

In such relationships, people:

* ask for their needs to be met
* set boundaries and non-negotiables
* discuss what the relationship is and what is not
* communicate about what is working and what is not
* keep a certain level of detachment
* lean in and trust the other to meet the proposed agreement
* don’t try and fake who they are or what they are there for

Unlike today’s marriages and committed relationships where both parties typically:

* don’t talk about needs unless they are fighting about them
* don’t understand boundaries and the only non-negotiable that is ever discussed is cheating
* Assume that the other side knows what they want from the relationship and assume they know what their partner wants
* don’t communicate about issues until its too late and therapy is needed, resentment has happened, one or both parties are feeling abandoned, misunderstood
* Think that co-dependency is love
* Have trust issues and use guilt and shame to try and control the other, the relationship and events
* Fake who they are and what they want on the front side of a relationship to get the relationship committed, then end up faking their intimacies with their partner and not willing to be authentic or have their partner be authentic
* Give surface level connection all the while saying they desire depth

Sounds exciting huh?

Yet it’s the truth of relationship in today’s world.

Today’s relationships certainly have their challenges no matter what labels , guidelines they may have set for them.

At the of the day what I want to focus you on is authenticity.
A good relationship is NOT based on that want list that a woman has.

A good relationship is not based on financials and quantity of sex or how adventurous the sex is even.

A good relationship,
a turned on, supportive, loving relationship is based in truth on the list that people who entertain “paid” relationships set.

The most important one being COMMUNICATION.

Because communication,
no matter how difficult it may be,
is the foundation to everything else.
The communication however, needs to be REAL.
And it needs to come from a centered place of KNOWING THY SELF first.

This will provide a level of maturity,
understanding and presence that the majority of people never achieve in their relationships.

But when we offer this sort of authentic relating we can then feel into the who we are even more, grow and expand mentally, emotionally and allow our partners the same.
We limit our expectations.
We speak our needs.
We respect boundaries,
and we take responsibility for our happiness.

Here is the ground to create a successful relationship based in unconditional love and respect instead of ego and need.

How does your relationship ideas, goals and ways of relating line up?

Are you exploring authentic relating or something else?

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Message me for deet’s on creating an authentic relationship, no matter its current status TODAY.

The Average Woman is a Prostitute ( Guest writer Addison Bell)


pros·ti·tute (ˈprästəˌt(y)o͞ot/)

(noun) 1. a person, in particular a woman, who engages in sexual activity for payment.

The above is Google’s definition of a prostitute, and this is the common definition across many sites. A person engaging in sexual activity for some form of payment. Thus making today’s average woman a prostitute, married, single, doesn’t matter, we have become a gender that sells our bodies.

Let me tell you a little personal story from a few years back… I had been out on three dates with a very nice man. He would take me to some nice restaurants, we would have a good conversation, and on this particular 4th date, he even brought me some beautiful flowers. I liked him as a person and enjoyed our time together, but wasn’t feeling a particular strong sexual connection, and thus, I had not gone there with him. However, I began to feel guilty… he had taken me out on these very nice dates and even started to jokingly mention that he had taken me out, bought me some nice flowers, but yet we still had not had sex. So despite my disinterest in sex with him, on this 4th date, I caved, although not being conscious of my thought process at the time, I felt because of the time/money he had spent on me that I somehow owed him sex if I desired to keep dating him. I let him buy me a beautiful dinner and then afterward let him have sex with me, which was disconnected and meaningless. He, in a way, bought my body at this moment. I had prostituted myself for some food, flowers, conversation, and attention.

Years later, as a Sex & Relationship Coach, I cannot say that I have ever had a woman come into my office that has not sold her sex in some way to a partner. And if I’m brutally honest, married women are often the biggest offenders. It does not matter if you are selling your sex for actual finances (including financial security), physical objects (home, car), experiences (restaurants, events, plays), or in exchange for a false sense of connection. When we use sex as any form of commerce, we are doing just what we shame and demoralize, and technically incarcerate women around the country for daily.

I know there are probably some women out there reading this and thinking, “that’s not the same thing” and you can try to convince yourself with this reason or that, let your Ego use tons of excuses, or separate yourself because you have a diamond ring on your finger, but that does not get you off the hook energetically! The moment our bodies and sex become a bargaining chip, whether for gain, or out of a sense of duty, we are entering the land of prostituting our bodies, minds, and most of all, our spirits.

I’ve had several Christian clients tell me that their “job” from a Christian perspective is to take care of their man in this way and live up to their “wifely duties” in a sense. I am calling bullshit on this. God did not create the beautiful, sensual, and magnificent female body to be sold, but instead to be cherished. The Creator wants us to share ourselves from a deep, meaningful, and purely loving space and not in order to get something in return. Females have been given a uniquely divine power and beauty in our sexuality that when not used from a place pure of heart is diminished, disrespected, and that inevitably leads us to disconnection from self. When we say yes when we either don’t want it or are ambivalent about it, then we are not only using our bodies, but we are also raping ourselves. Harsh, but yet still the truth.

This is not to make all women shame themselves; goodness knows we already do enough of that, but instead to bring awareness. Why is it okay that we incarcerate and shame women that are doing exactly what most women are doing, but just in a more direct way? Being upfront and honest about the fact instead of hiding it under layers of excuses, self-separation, and judgment. From a personal perspective, I have way more respect for a woman that knows that she is using her sexuality as a tool and/or that she desires to use it as a tool than a woman that hides and tries to cover this fact up and doesn’t own her power. At least these women are tapping into themselves in some way as opposed to the woman that has duty sex and gives her body away for things, feelings, experiences, but hides behind religion, obligation, or it coming from a lack of self-empowerment. I would much rather a woman stand in her power and directly ask for money for her body than having obligational duty sex and disempowering herself. Not that it is ideal, but she is at least owning what she is choosing to sell her body, unlike the average woman.

Although I stated at the beginning of this that all women had prostituted themselves in some way, I don’t think all women continue to do this in their lives. I believe the average woman in America does this frequently because we are raised in a society that promotes this type of thinking through media, pornography, religious doctrines, and teaching our girls to separate from their desires, needs, and emotions while teaching our young boys in a backhanded way that sex is something owed.

Though it doesn’t have to be this way for women! The second a woman knows that her sexuality is indeed powerful and begins to live in alignment with her true desires, then she has begun to take a step out of this process. When we start to only have sex when we truly desire it, to not allow sex to be an obligation or something owed, then sex becomes something deeper. By also recognizing and forgiving ourselves when we ‘fall down’ and do indeed use our sex/bodies as a form of commerce, then we also take a step forward. The second we begin to revel in our sexuality and bodies in the way that God meant and for us to delight in our passions and desire, then we also take a step away from this cultural standard. And if you do choose to continue to use commerce in your sexing that you, at the very least, own it! Own it as an empowered choice and something you desire and separate from B.S. excuses.

This all does not mean that you’re not ever going to accept a man buying you a drink, taking you out for an evening, or giving you a gift. No, this means that you allow yourself to be in the feminine and receptive mode, but only step into sex if your heart is in it. It is you asking for what you desire at the moment, whether this be to have sex or not to have sex. It’s if you are married that you don’t give your man oral sex just to get him off your back, or because it is a special occasion. It is allowing yourself to play in your sexuality, sensuality, and allowing it to be powerful, but knowing you do not owe your sex, body, or sensuality to anyone.

This is how we step out of being the average prostitute. Where in your life are you selling yourself? Where are you using your sex and your body as a sense of commerce? And if you are a man, then where might you be expecting the woman in your life to prostitute herself?

 

READ ORIGINAL Article and Contact Author HERE

I’m a Sex Coach, Not a Sex Worker

As of late, I have been under a bit of scrutiny from several people about my sex coaching business, everywhere from friends to family to other colleagues who all have misconstrued beliefs about what sex coaches do. Honestly, I am not shocked because the truth is that sex coaching is fairly new in mainstream consciousness. If you met ten sex coaches, they would also all have a slightly different way of coaching and different elements that are included in this coaching. Even in my local area, I can think of several sex coaches, and every single one of us approaches coaching in a different manner. Some use more direct talking methods, some incorporate more spiritual practices, some use more straight education, and others are more experiential. This is on top of the fact that sex is still a taboo topic in our society, so it’s no wonder that I get both horrified and intrigued looks when I share with others the career I am so passionate about.

There’s a vast variety of questions and assumptions that people have when hearing that myself and my fellow colleagues are sex coaches. That being said, the one that comes up the most is, “Are you a prostitute? So you have sex with your clients?”

I do not have sex with my clients. Again, I do not have sex with my clients! And one more time since people struggle to hear this one, I DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH MY CLIENTS! I have zero judgments against individuals who choose to make a living via prostitution. In my life, I have known several women who have been sex workers to survive and, unfortunately, were forced to do so illegally due to our current laws. It makes me very happy to see places like Vegas that are trying to take the oldest career known to man and make it safer for both the client and the sex worker. Sex is a normal and natural pleasure afforded to us as humans that keeps us healthy and vibrant. It’s not my place to say if someone needs or desires to pay someone to have these needs met because, honestly, not everyone is lucky enough to have a committed partner. I believe in sex work when done in a safe and consensual manner.

That being said, I am not a prostitute. All the sex coaches I know (and I know quite a few) and I have the policy that they do not have intercourse or perform or receive oral sex from clients. I have written that on my website in several places and tell clients when I first meet them that although I am helping people with sex, this does not mean I am having sex with them. Yet, it is a question I get asked almost weekly. And it is actually one that has provided my colleagues and me with some funny stories.

One day, I was doing an initial Tantric mindfulness session—which includes some meditation, breathing, and Kundalini activation—with a brand new client. My sex coaching practice was somewhat new, and as he felt his sexual energy activate, he opened his eyes, looked right at me, and said, “I’ve decided that I want to practice having Tantric sex, and you love Tantric sex, and so you’re going to have Tantric sex with me next time.” I lifted one eyebrow and reminded him of all the different times we had discussed boundaries and how sex is not a part of sex coaching. He became desperate and began gyrating his hips to “show me” how good he would be at this practice. I worked incredibly hard at not bursting into hysterics at that moment, and once I had composed myself, I set some limits with him, and unfortunately, he chose not to have any more sessions with me after that initial session. It is definitely a story that I will always remember and one that has provided me with vital learning lessons—no matter how much I state what I DON’T do, there will always be people that don’t want to hear it.

Different practitioners have different boundaries surrounding the level of touch, if any, and also the nature of what happens in sessions. But unless it is specifically stated that we are offering sexual surrogacy, then they most likely are not offering to have sex with their clients. And honestly, even many sex surrogates don’t actually have intercourse with clients.

That being said, am I going to try to help stir some sexual energy? Yes! Our sexual energy (Kundalini energy) is what keeps us alive, what you tap into during many yoga practices, and what gives us as humans much of our drive. I view our sexual energy as a major tool in manifesting the lives we want, as the spiritual connection we are looking for, and as a way to take the connection within ourselves and in relationships to a deeper place. However, this energy can be stirred simply by breathing! I, personally, am not just a sex coach but actually first and foremost a Tantric practitioner who utilizes these principles in my practice. This still does not mean I am having sex with my clients!

In our society, and especially in the Bible belt, many practices are shunned without a true and honest understanding. People allow their ignorance to speak first without asking questions. Just like sex coaching is not as it appears, neither is the practice of Tantra, which is not solely about sex but instead about weaving our energy throughout life. The aspects that are sexual are about bringing greater awareness and honor into our sex lives and using this awareness to bring us closer to our spiritual source, ourselves, and our partners. I know having honor and true worship during sex is a foreign concept to many in the Western world, where porn, objectification, and hookup culture are rampant, but this is the true nature of Tantra and what I teach in my sex coaching practice. So I view the use of Tantra as important in not only my sex coaching but also coaching of any kind because, at the end of the day, most humans desire more fulfilling and happier lives.

As a sex coach, I want you to be able to dig deeper into your own feelings, thoughts, and beliefs surrounding sex. I want you to learn to connect with your own body and your partner’s body in new and exciting ways. I want you to experience energy in sessions that is orgasmic … but not necessarily have what is typically seen as orgasm/climax in session.

So if I’m not having sex with you, then what am I doing?

I’m holding a space for you to talk about your shame, your desires, your sexual difficulties. I’m helping you reawaken your energy and passion while creating the life you have always dreamed of having. I am educating you on chakras, your genitals, your partner’s genitals, breathing, orgasm, and basically anything you can think of in regards to sex. I am helping you feel more into your body and recognize that your sexual energy, when used throughout your life, will provide you with a new level of energy and vitality and the ability to attack your life.

Honestly, yes, there will be dildos, “pussy pillows,” lube, and other sex toys for demonstrations, so if this offends you, then I suggest you not come into my office. There will most definitely be words used that may make you blush and conversations that make you squirm a little, and that’s okay. I’m not here to have sex with you, but I am here to reintroduce you to your sex.

My work is done mostly with your brain, your heart, and your soul, not your genitals!

Written by Addison Bell

Why I Pay My Wife for Sex…

sexy-woman

Maybe you should too. Not MY wife — yours.

I’m always anxious to read the latest advice from sex columnists about how to have amazing sex. My problem is that they often fail to speak to the reality of life after children. Of course I’d love to languish in those Halcion days when we spent nights doing nothing but worshiping each other. Those were the days.  But why doesn’t anyone talk about having amazing sex after children?

The sex advice people suggest spicing up your love life. I’d love to have a few hours to do yoni massage in a quiet room filled only with sitar music and the aroma of sandalwood wafting in my nostrils. Children present too many interruptions and distractions. We never had the money or the child care back-up to do weekend get-aways. Waiting until late at night usually means someone is sleeping. Lovemaking gets pushed to the back seat. It takes a toll.

I was involved with men’s spiritual development groups for years. We all took a pledge of silence like the Las Vegas code. On several occasions though my wife asked me if we talked about sex. I said married guys with children don’t want to talk about something that doesn’t exist—sex after children. I couldn’t tell them about my life or they’d kill me out of jealousy. I have had a great sex life after children. Actually it started before children as it does for most of us men, but for my wife and I it never stopped.

I’m in a second marriage. My first was a complete mulligan. Maybe some insights will be posted here down the line. Let me just say, to reinforce an observation about The Good Men Project, men are victims too. I was. Enough for now. Well, okay, a little more revelation.

I underwent a vasectomy in a desperate attempt to save my first marriage. My ex was so afraid of pregnancy that she would “forget” to take her pill. ( I know, it doesn’t make sense.)  She contrived ever possible excuse to avoid sex. I really didn’t want children either, so it was no big deal for me at the time—anything to get more sex. However, when I had the procedure in the late 70’s, the folks at the family planning clinic wanted to be sure I knew it was highly unlikely I would ever be able to conceive naturally. I signed off willingly.

Turns out I was duped. Can’t go there now. My marriage dissolved soon after.

Some time later, I met the woman who would become my soulmate, the love of my life, all the magical things that a good relationship should be about. In our single days we were like mink. However, I knew when I proposed that I was committing to having children as our relationship wouldn’t work if we stayed childless. My wife was born to be a mother. I loved her enough to take the risk.

I underwent vasectomy reversal. In the aftermath I became her sex slave, as she rigidly followed the procedures for a thirty-five year old woman to get pregnant — sex every day she was at the proper basal temperature. We were told it could take a long time. The rabbit died before I was even out of my surgical recovery period.

We had sex all though the pregnancy. In the last days of a difficult and uncomfortable pregnancy, it became too painful for her. Thankfully, her gynecologist told her the way out was the same way she got in. Sex late in pregnancy will induce labor. I love that man. We had sex and she went into labor the next day.

Our first child was a crisis baby, born with a formerly fatal congenital heat defect. We took him back from the arms of the angels on several occasions. You’re never out of the woods with a heart baby, but that too is another story. I lost my job just before our second child was  born. My father-in-law, my best scotch drinking buddy, died suddenly after the birth of #2. I think only a prison term is higher on the life stress levels. Still we held on to each other.

Okay, back to my opening point, the sex counsellors don’t acknowledge that sex after children comes in stolen moments. Foreplay becomes “Brace Yourself!” Children, for all their blessings, kill intimacy. It is the ruin of many marriages. Sexuality in marriage after children has to become a commitment and not an idle romantic indulgence.

Over the years my wife and I have stayed sexually engaged. Our sex life would not make a great XXX movie. A lot of it is under the covers, quietly in the dark, but still, a connection. Unable to have wild sexual fantasies played out, we have found our own means of fun. One of them involves me paying my wife for sex. It serves a dual purpose. Money has always been short in our situation—we have been a one income family—I’m the at-home dad. I have terrible money insecurities. My wife loves to shop and buy stuff—fortunately, she is frugal. Still, her spending has been a source of stress in our relationship. I think I own four pairs of shoes, she could supply a small nation with her collection. There is rarely a day when she doesn’t shop and buy herself something. The clutter has me tearing my hair out at times. But it’s the money fear that is most troubling for me, and I admit, irrational.

I do most of the cooking, cleaning and laundry, so lavishing those treats on her doesn’t open any romantic gateways. We needed something else.

Somehow we came up with the fun idea that I would pay her for sex. The money she “earns” she is free to spend without me nagging her. She has never denied me sex, but it has put a little naughty fun into a stressful situation that many couples face.

I don’t know if our little arrangement will work for you, I’m just saying don’t be discouraged by the sexologists, find a way to keep sex alive in your relationship, even if you have to “pay” for it.

—by  Original Post on Good Men Project

Photo: Flickr/J.K. Califf

– See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/why-i-pay-my-wife-for-sex-dg/#sthash.vtTU4kD8.dpuf

What Are You “Trading for Sex”?

 

Are You Having Sex Because You Want to Have Sex, or Is There Some Implied Bargain Going On?

prostitution

Today we are going to explore the rather controversial topic of “trading for sex.” I certainly would not be the first person to suggest that marriage is often a form of legalized prostitution. But it surely is not the only arena where implied trades for sex are happening. Perhaps if you are willing to be honest, you can remember times in your own life when you had sex even though you did not really want to have sex. Because you were going to get something that you thought was lacking in your life.

Recently I found myself in a situation where a man was doing all kinds of “nice” things for me. And I noticed the temptation within myself to “repay” him with sex. I did not want to have sex with him, but it would have been easy enough to do. I could almost justify it in my mind. Fortunately, though, my heart and my intuition are a lot more powerful now than they used to be. I caught myself falling into the trap of feeling “obligated” to “repay” this person with sex. And I stayed in integrity with myself and said no.

What is this ritual we have of men paying for dinner? It can have all kinds of interpretations, of course. I enjoy spending time with abundance-minded people, and a man sharing his abundance with me does not feel much different to me than the “free” stuff I am receiving from the Universe (not always through men) on a regular basis.

 

But what about when it’s not just a simple sharing of abundance with no expectation of anything in return? Recently I saw an old friend of mine who had broken up with his girlfriend. They were together for several years. It was never a relationship of equals. He is extremely wealthy, and she is financially insecure. She gave him sex, and he let her move in with him and paid all her expenses. Which was all fine and good and relatively harmonious until she realized that he meant what he said at the beginning: he had no intention of getting married. For her, getting married was an implicit part of the “bargain.” And as her friends gave her a hard time about it, she was sensitive to other people’s opinions, and the sensitivity grew when she hit a particular birthday … they broke up.

I myself once had a “sugar daddy” relationship. I don’t envision ever getting into a situation like that again. At first it felt like a princess fantasy. He would take me to Nordstrom and buy me 15 pairs of shoes at a time. He would take me to the most expensive stores in San Francisco and drop $15,000 at a time on dresses and shawls. He took me to the finest hotels and restaurants, and we flew first class to far-flung destinations. Did I realize that I was “trading for sex”? No, I was not that conscious at the time. It all just kind of “happened.” I even persuaded myself that I loved him.

At a deep level though, it felt like he was overcompensating for the fact that he did not feel like he was my equal. Over the course of the relationship, that icky feeling started to increase. My respect for him gradually diminished. Before I knew it, I was almost two years into a relationship that I knew would not be permanent.

And it started to get very dark. I remember one time he urged me to quit my job, and my intuition screamed “no.” “No, do not let yourself be financially dependent on this man.” I started thinking about other men, and he became very jealous. One time I was staying at his multi-million dollar vacation home with some of my girlfriends. He claimed to be occupied at another location, yet he drove several hours to arrive unannounced to “check up on me” (i.e., make sure I was not with another man). I had never cheated on any of my boyfriends, but his constant paranoia led me almost to cheat on him. When we broke up, he had an engagement ring that he said was “burning a hole in his pocket.” I never saw the ring. It was all so … ewwwwww. I broke it off, and he married another woman about six months later. I kid you not. Which made me even more glad that we were not together. To me, it was all driven by his not feeling complete as a human being standing on his own two feet.

There have been lots of other times in my life where I could have married a man for money, for social status, or for some other kind of “value.” And sometimes, let’s be honest, there were times I even had sex for far more trivial reasons. It was just “easier” than saying no.

The “sugar daddy” situation made me a lot more wary of men attempting to “buy” sex from me, one way or another. At this point, I am glad that I have spent a solid amount of time single. When we have learned to be solid all by ourselves, it is a lot more difficult for us to be manipulated with our insecurities. I don’t get lonely anymore, so I have no need to have sex to fill a void in my life. Back when I had a job that I hated (when I was dating the “sugar daddy”), I fantasized about a wealthy man “rescuing” me from having to work. I did not understand at that time about patterns of co-dependency and how destructive they are. Now that I have learned to stand on my own two feet as an entrepreneur, the idea of marrying a man for money just seems ludicrous. The only kind of relationship that appeals to me is a co-creative partnership of equals. The only kind of relationship I can envision now is uniting with another person who recognizes his wholeness and does not need to “get” anything from me, nor I from him.

Life does not “just happen” to me anymore. I am conscious of my choices, and I am in charge of my destiny. So when my intuition flags a situation of a man trying to “buy” sex from me, whether with money or by doing “nice” things for me … I just say “no.” And every time I do, my self-respect increases a little bit more.

After all, knowing what you want and being willing to stand firm until it manifests … without “caving” in to social pressures or personal insecurities … is what it means toBecome FearlessAnd after living fearlessly, you’ll never want to go back to conventional living ever again :)

ericaawakening

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love,

Erika Awakening, High Priestess of Miracles at TAPsmarter

The Risky Game of Sex

 

 

“Sex is a risky game, because if you’re not careful, it will cut you wide open.” – from the film Kinsey

This quote is perfect. It is exactly what sex is supposed to do! However in today’s society we have crushed and termed sexual acts taboo. Somewhere along the line we made sex demonic, something that we should only do to conceive a child and should only be done in the missionary position. If we are not married then god forbids we ever explore such an act as sex.  We tell our children, “Sex is for a mommy and a daddy to do to show their love for each other. “ “Wait till you are married and only give yourself to your husband or your wife.” Oh and one of my favorite statements. “Wait till your 30.” Good girls and boys don’t have sex in their teens, they don’t fantasize about the hot boy or girl or even their teacher and they certainly DO NOT masturbate. Girls are taught from early on to be “lady like” and to shun their sexuality, their inner erotic creature. Girls are told that they should cover up and not show their breasts at all, be careful of how much booty they show, how tight their clothes are and what their body language is saying. They are taught that it is not ok to be a sensual woman. Boys are taught that girls are property and that the female in society for the most part is of a lower ranking then the male. Boys can go without a shirt in public; it’s even okay for boys to make comments about girls that may not be as tasteful as they could be, after all boys will be boys. And yet it is still taught that sex is not something to empower us but something that is to remain hidden. With all this sort of societal training it is no wonder that our youth for many decades has grown into a sexually dysfunctional culture and our relationships suffer from such issues as jealousy, rage, betrayal, duty sex as well as lack of intimacy.  Let alone simple stupidity when it comes to the actual power or act of sex. Our sex education in school is not one that teaches about reality, it only is in place to make sex a scientific study, one that is not of emotional or spiritual connection. High School Sex Ed teaches about sexual diseases and gives plenty of scare but does not teach about integrity, honor, respect or empowerment.

tantricloveSex is a risky game. If one opens up to healing their sexuality they discover a deep liberation from the societal bullshit that is accepted across the board. They discover that they are a powerhouse of unconditional love and creative energy. They awaken to empowerment through their sexuality that changes the face of every aspect of their lives where they learn how to develop and maintain healthy relationships with not only their lovers but all people.  Sexual liberation is the one thing that can change the face of this world quicker than any other form of healing in my opinion. Until we embrace our sexual power we are sheep being controlled by the rule of men and women who will further take away our rights and freedoms to the point of slavery. Only in our willingness to heal our sexuality and allow our sexing to ‘cut us wide open’ will we be able to embrace our divine aspects and find unconditional love and acceptance for our fellow humans. Being ‘cut wide open’ is stating a deep vulnerability, it is living in this vulnerability to life and accepting that just as when we were in the womb of our mother and everything we ever needed was made available and taken care of this is still so in our adult lives. Our need to control life is only a statement of ego; all our needs are provided for us if we can open ourselves in this beautiful state of orgasmic life flow.

We live in a world where prostitution is for the most part illegal. Sex workers across the world have limited rights and if one is “raped” well then she asked for it, after all she is a sex worker, a woman with little to no morals, yet porn runs ramped in our society and both men and women are learning wrong forms of intimacy and sex without honor. Our expectations of our lover are forever changed as we view these ‘performances’ and then turn to our relationship and find ourselves unsatisfied. Divorce rates are ever increasing as are extramarital affairs.

In a recent study:

  • Of young college men over 35% of them said that they would rape a woman if they could get away with it.
  • 87% of guys and 79% of girls said sexual assault was acceptable if the man and the woman were married.
  •  65% of the boys and 47% of the girls said it was acceptable for a boy to rape a girl if they had been dating for more than six months
  • 43% of college-aged men admitted to using coercive behavior to have sex, including ignoring a woman’s protest, using physical aggression, and forcing intercourse.

rapebooze

This societal attitude is accepted, yet prostitution is not. Prostitution is immoral, I forgot, and rape is not? Oh wait only some forms of rape are, the above forms are the exceptions to the rule…Mmmmmhhhmmm. And if a man ventures out and seeks sexual connection from another woman whom he pays for her time and energy then sex is NEVER possibly rape. This immoral woman has no boundaries or say in what happens to her body, after all she is opening herself up to sex and as we already stated “sex is a risky game.” Folks these beliefs and attitude take us only backward in the evolution process. They do nothing for humanity, peace, education or respect. They certainly don’t teach how to love or how to open to the great positive powers of such a divine act as sex.

Our closed minded  view points of sexuality have only created a society of sick bastards: men and women alike who repress their desires until they act them out unhealthily or shut themselves off to themselves and their loved ones so that sex is no longer an act of love, intimacy, passion, bliss and creation but one of duty and guilt, or even disgust.

For anyone who wants to know just how contaminated our culture has become I encourage them to take a quick tour on Craigslist.

  • Married, curious male looking to suck my first cock. I imagine you will be discreet, older, clean, not very hairy and patient. I am clean cut, professional, very discreet, DDF, 6′, 220#, could stand to lose a few pounds but not too big. You can reciprocate if you want, but this is about me sucking. I’ve fantasized for a long time. You must host or we meet somewhere soon
  • Married? Wife refuses to suck cock? Let’s get together for some guy time. Football, beer, and we can suck each other off. Casual relationship. Great if wives can become friends. Must be discreet.
  • I love f-cking your wife! Want to surprise the sweetie with your fantasy? I am a MWM, 6′, 210#, 9″ uncut, clean, fit, will do ANY fantasy you want.
  • Looking for a male interested in spending their day or night F-cking.
    I am a giver who will do ANYTHING to make her man have the biggest explosion of his life.
    I will do things your wife doesn’t let you, I will let you take any of my holes and let you blow your load wherever you want.
  • Are you a Hot, Sexy & Gorgeous Mother that would be considered a MILF or a Cougar & do you have a Daughter or Daughter’s Living with you that are just as gorgeous as you are?
    Are you both submissive & do you Need & Want an Older Dominant White Man to come into your lives?
    Are you both submissive Little Whorish Sluts who are sexually out of Control & Do you need to be taken in Hand & Disciplined?
    Do you wish to Meet Someone immediately & have your Lives Brought Back to Order?
    If you find that any of what has been said in this ad interests you, then TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT EACH OF YOU (Including Your Names & Ages) & SHOW ME JUST ONE GOOD PICTURE OF YOUR FACES.
    After I have received your Response with the Required Pictures & Information about yourselves, I will show you My Picture in Return & We Can Move forward from there.

And here is one more for a BIG bang! This came from a picture that i am choosing NOT share.

“Mother and daughter together serving their purpose in life, submitting to  cock.” 

Serving their purpose in life?

If we only really understood the darkness of what is happening behind closed doors. America has more underground sex slavery then most free sex countries do. Why is this? Why does our society support these acts against human sexuality in their hushing and joining in when no one is looking? Yet when sexuality is discussed in open and healthy sexing is taught by educators these same contributors are neigh sayers to sexual freedom and say that sexual liberation is immoral and against the Bible.

The ego at play yet again. It is up to us though, you and I alike to change this. To take back our sexuality rights and to harness our sexual power in a healthy fashion. It is our right to enjoy our sexing and to heal our physical, emotional, spiritual and mental bodies through sexual empowerment practices.

Your fantasies are natural and even healthy. Your sexual hunger is normal. Your longing to connect in a intimate fashion with another human being weather that is someone of the same sex or not, may it be your wife or husband, boyfriend or a stranger or even in a Ménage à trios or at an orgy is all perfectly right and part of our human experience of sexuality. What is wrong and unhealthy is when these acts of intimate play happen out of expectation, rage and our misunderstanding of intimacy and respect of our fellow human beings. When we start to view another human as an inanimate object there for our pleasuring needs then we fall into the dark shadows where we lose ourselves and with us society as well.

Make a resolution for 2013 to educate yourself on true integrity, unconditional love and the empowerment of sex as well as how sex can liberate and heal our world instead of causing pain and separation in it.

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–KW