Standing at the cliff I looked down.
The water was brilliant,
radiant turquoise waters shimmering from the sun’s light.
Beautiful tropical fish swimming around in a flurry of delight as people swam by them.
The lush backdrop of tropical trees, brilliant colored flowers and the cool ocean air.
There I stood at the cliff,
desiring to jump.
Desiring to leap.
My lover watching from a distance.
Cheering me on.
Ready to snap a picture of me leaping.
There I stood.
Feeling my life.
Feeling the life I had not yet lived.
Looking into the crystal clear waters that just moments before I had been snorkeling in.
I desired to jump.
I desired to show myself and my lover,
everyone around me that I could.
There I stood,
my heart pumping blood more intensely then any other time.
My eye’s witnessing others leaping with delight off this cliff,
squealing with joy as they crashed into the cool water below,
laughter erupting from below from their joy.
Then a woman,
she is fearful,
she is anxious,
she is nauseating in her energy.
She questions everything.
I could feel her.
All my fear,
all my hold back,
catching on her doubt and feeding itself.
Here I stood,
looking over this cliff,
wanting to jump.
Wanting to experience the joy,
the free fall into bliss.
Yet I handed my opportunity over to FEAR.
I leaned into this woman’s fears,
I took them on as my own.
I logically supported her words,
And I said, “No.”
No to myself.
No to opportunity.
No to growth.
No to the experience.
No to my desire.
No to the calling.
I said no, not based on my desire or heart,
but no based on a strangers fear and doubt.
Her reflection in me,
overcame my very desire.
Still today, I look back at this experience in Mexico as a game changer. I know that it was a lesson that I felt but did not get in the moment.
I know that it was a test of soul that I failed at that time.
All things happen for a reason,
and when we feel our fears at the cliff of any change,
we decide to either lean and leap toward our calling,
we decide to step away from them.
I have processed this moment over and over again,
I have examined the physical feelings that came up in my body. I have shamed myself, sat in regret, said many a mean thing to myself around this.
I have blamed this choice at that time for other events that took place to follow.
Seeing how my lack of not leaping into my fear, preventing me from standing strong in other desires.
Prevented me from moving forward when my soul called out to MOVE.
So I procrastinated.
So I waited.
Waited till God had enough.
Waited until I was thrown out of the nest,
and was forced to fly.
No matter what happens in life,
our lessons come for us.
No matter what happens,
we will be forced to face our fears,
and we will be given the choice to leap into our bliss,
or cower into our suffering.
God will continue to hold out his hands of opportunity.
God will continue to walk us up to these life changing cliff’s.
God will continue to tell us we can fly.
But WE must be the one’s to say YES.
We must be the one’s to OPEN OUR WINGS.
In choosing to allow other’s fears and doubts to over take us like I did in Mexico, we hemorrhage our power.
We bleed out.
And we loose ourselves to this world.
When we allow our feelings to be directed by other’s views, thoughts, opinions and feelings, we say no to the most important person in our life.
We say no to ourselves and we turn our backs on God.
This is why we suffer.
This is why we live with depression.
This is where our anxiety comes from.
This is why we are rageful.
When we deny ourselves,
when we step away from the cliff that is calling our soul to fly,
we dishonor God.
We condemn his greatness.
And we separate ourselves from his glory.
This is one of the greatest sin’s that we can allow.
Yet, here we are.
A society of wantabe obedient believers,
Casting ourselves out of heaven,
separating ourselves from God and all the blessing.
We live in a state of ego,
and ego blinds us to our TRUTH.
THAT WE CAN FLY!
So stop listening to the fear,
Stop bleeding out your power,
Stop allowing this world to steal your glory.
And feel the abundance.
Feel the JOY.
Feel the Blessings.
You are WORTHY.
PS – Tomorrow is the day!
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I sure the f-ck hope so.
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Do you have a calling that is screaming at you?
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