Through the Looking Glass: Past Lives, Present Journeys

I crossed a stone bridge in the mist and as I came to the other side I was transported into a life I once knew. Gazing down at my feet I saw beautiful gold threads wrapping around them but no shoes. I knew I was a woman. I felt young, happy, and light bodied. Full of energy and love.

I was in love!

I looked around the room, it was just incredible, full of rich colors, reds, gold, browns, many intricate designs embroidered on the materials and lots of sheer curtains. A smell of incense in the air. A large grey beast sat in the middle of my room. It was not an elephant, but large. I never paid attention to its face, although I know it had a head dress on of some sort. At first thought I must be in India or perhaps a similar culture.

 I was dancing around in circles.

Joyously.

I had such beautiful long dark hair and there were all these veils of color hanging from my head. My skirt was beautiful, the colors and design swirled around me in a cosmic dance of fashion.

 I danced and danced.

 

Without conscious thought, I was transported to the scene of my death. A large man with rippling muscles stood beside where I lay. As I looked up into his face I could bearly see his eyes for the strange headdress. He was holding my arms above my head firmly, I felt another holding my legs down. I was laying upon some sort of rock/stone alter. There this “high priest” (I am assuming) with a wooden staff that had feathers and beads hanging from it said something about my sacrifice.

Emotions were running wild at this point. I could feel the anxiety in my heart. Why had I wanted this? What was I doing? Was is right? Was it really for a higher purpose or for not?

I was still young and in love.

 I recall the damn love. Damning it for the pain I was feeling. The loss I would once again feel. I gazed out over this vast, lush, beautiful green valley where my people stand below. It was a tropical forest created by the hands of the Gods. It was my death place. Looking out into the crowd, tears in my eyes I found the returning look my heart was longing for. Locking in on a young man, incredibly handsome. Dark beautiful skin, muscles toned perfectly, black shiny hair down to his shoulders. He smiled at me and my heart returned the smile as well as my face.

As the smile lifted my soul to the heavens I was quickly reminded of the pain that we can expereince in this realm; a sharp burning sensation below my ribs took over my consciousness….

As though time did not exist I found myself floating above my people. Over my lovers head, looking back from my aerial view I could see a stone pyramid shaped temple. Steps leading up to where I had just died. I heard cheering and then was whisked away and began to come back to an awake state of being in current “reality.”

“Perhaps expereince is the driving force that brings us back. Or perhaps learning something begets the desire to learn more, and learning more begets the desire to learn everything there is to know.” – P.S. Berg, Wheels of a Soul

Our past lives have a way of bringing us valuable lessons in times we least expect it. And with each visit of a past life we will re-learn a lesson and also be invited to awaken to another. This was the exact case for me during my Sacred Voyage to Maui. Little did I expect to be visited by the above past life regression.  Years ago I had done massive regression work to release my bondage to certain fears and discover the meaning of some important relationships in this current life that I knew had carried their energies from past. This particular regression opened up some interesting insights; from a fear of dancing to the saga of loosing love that seems to have rippled through lifetimes.

Maui brought home the fact that I was not yet done learning and releasing from this above life.

The morning was fresh when we decided it was time to journey away to the first of many sacred vortexes. As Greg “Magick” Bernstein and I drove down the pot hole filled road he looked at me and shared that the sight he was being guided to take me he had not taken anyone for many a year. Uncertain as to why he was being guided to do so, he shared some of the history of the sight. Known as the Temple Gathering Place of the High Supernatural’s, this was the site where the last human sacrifice of Maui was done.

 

However before we venture into the realm of sacrifice and worship, we must first prepare our physical beings. Protection, Appreciation, Understanding, and Honor. These things he would cover with me in Iao Valley Park. There beneath the trees, beside the running river of time, we sat and talked. Among the tales shared was one perfect for the birthing of the adventure at hand. One that not even Magick knew as of yet.

 

 

“Once there was a couple who sat and watched a cat in the weeds and flowers. The woman said, ‘Oh, look honey, the cat is smelling the flowers.’ The man looked over to the cat and said, ‘He is not smelling the flowers, he is peeing on them.’ The woman said,’ Well that is not how I see it in my reality!” (Story adapted from the one Greg shared)

Two different realities.

 Providing spiritual clarity as to why he was guiding to this temple, I shared my above regression.

 

Once we were prepared we ventured off to the temple. At our arrival the gates were closed. Magick looked at me and asked me to sense if we were to continue or not. It was my intuitive call.  I called out to spirit and was told to move forward. As I crossed through the gates my heart began to hurt. It quickly became unbearable, almost as though it was being ripped out of my chest. As we rounded a curve on the path my eyes set out on the remains of two adjoining temples that commanded a view that when build I am sure was spectacular. Stepped stones that towered above a below stream almost covered in overgrowth, this pyramid like sacrificial mound took in the view of ocean, valley and high country. The energy that released from its blood soiled ground was strangely peaceful and even calming to my being although my heart chakra did not stop vibrating with its intensity until I found my meditation place. Here looking back at the sacrificial site from a vista point of stepped stonework I sat. Back to the sun, breathing in the universe and allowing the four winds to dance with my ethereal being. As my soul danced and listened I heard the call of spirit. Particularly the call of Snake.

There in front of me grew a bush up through the ancient stones. Upon it was a small white pod of sorts. It sorta looked like a wishing weed. Spirit was asking me to take one and eat it. I argued with spirit out of fear, out of doubt. “How crazy to hear spirit telling me to eat some strange plant at a death site. Yeah most likely not the best of all ideas.” But with each argument the winds would blast me from different directions, pressing themselves into me and the vision of snakes within the stones would grow stronger. Spirit was speaking! Loud too.

Finally I asked permission from land and plant to pick the small pod flower. However chose not to eat it. Asking spirit if I had to, I was answered with a vision. The vision was of a dark cave, rocks, fallen trees, moss and tall grasses. I had no idea as to where this was so asked Spirit to share this vision with my guide, Magick.

Through time and space our many lives ripple into each other.

Even science is starting to realize that what we believe is our reality,

more than likely is nothing more than an illusion. Through the awareness

of our previous lives and the lessons that we still need to learn from them

and the strengths that we can harvest, we can not only advance our own

growth and light energy but also our healing. As we heal, accept and learn

to value those things that we in times before thought limiting or nonsense

we too can learn to love and share more freely in this life; creating more positive

manifestations for our current reality.

 

Through the looking glass of time, I was blessed with a beautiful opportunity to face

my fears, my doubts and my heart. Here at the sacred site of death, I sacrificed my old

self for the birth of a new reality. One where, my heart would no longer carry the fear

it had for so many life times but instead would call out to the heavens and LEAD my

current incarnation. There is only so much wisdom we are allowed to gather at one

given time, and with each drop of this wisdom we must always realize that the birthing

of our new reality will not come without first a death… Here is where we must have

CERTAINTY and KNOW that we are not alone. Perhaps we cannot see all that is to

come to pass with each choice we make, however the Creator can!

 

“Even the wisest cannot tell that a mirror shows many things. Things that were, things that are and things that have not come to pass.” (Galadriel, Lord of the Rings)

Unholy Hungers

I am a vampire!

There are a group of male vampires at a competitive sporting event. Only ONE will be the winner. I know who he is; it has already been seen through my mind’s eye. My premonitions never fail me. The game is all about the hunt, the chase and the kill! I am the prey. We are in some sort of lumber mill. I am running. My breath is quickening. There to my side is a male vampire; he hisses at me and attacks. I kill him with my bare hands and bite his neck, letting his limp body drop to the ground. Then I come upon this dark haired, dark eyes Italian looking man; he will be the winner. Coming up from behind on all fours like a lion stalking its kill, I cross over a large stack of lumber with great ease and a feather touch.

I ask, “Why is it that you men have to be so damn handsome? I know it is to trap your prey, but what of us who are of the same blood? You are going to be asked to hunt me, kill me, and eat me. However, as a dying girl, I ask that you make love to me first. Fuck me! Is that so wrong?”

He looks up at me with cold fiery black eyes. God he’s good looking. I am the one who is hungry. He smiles a devilish grin. We are interrupted in that moment. The group of male vampires and judges approach us. They announce his winning. They set forth a small golden winged fairy, she is delicate and from a time past and a distant land that is no more. She is the time keeper.

24 hours.

Her wings make a chirping sound with each second that passes. Fluttering around like a humming bird, my heart beats in rhythm.

The lumber mill vanishes and we are standing in the misty moss covered woods. I run with great speed as though flying. There are tall thin bamboo like trees. I hide. Thinking to turn back. My scent, he will follow I know. He is quickly upon me. I should fear for my life, but as he approaches my hunger to be with him is to strong. He grabs me in his strong dominate arms. His strength pressing against me from all sides. I feel his life force. I feel his manhood. I feel his light, his shadow and passion.

The fairy is fluttering by us.

“Twist her wings off!” I say demandingly.

He does and she falls to the ground. I make a break and run from him, he is right in step behind me. Through the woods we run. In the mist I see lights, I see mortals. I see a Japanese restaurant. I convince him to follow me and eat to offset his hunger. I am feeling like I am caught in a fast paced memory within a dream. I am dancing in my lust and hunger for him. It is a cannibalistic sort of love.

We are on the chase again. This time we entwine. It is rough, hot, passions fly, hunger at the forefront.

I wake to the morning rain. Mortal and breathing in life.

Vampires are not just imaginary creatures of fiction or legend, they really exist. They are those mortals who have not learned or been given opportunity to love and be loved and instead they settle for power and become experts at robbing others of their vital energies. We have all known a Vampire.

But this dream was not of that. This spiritual tale was of our supposed unholy hungers and desires. Our longings and fantasies. How do we find the courage to step out of the cave of our psychological control, our societal walls and chase what we want? The lust of our spiritual needs. It lies dormant within our blood until one day it awakens and leaves us feeling like the prey being hunted. Our light and our shadow battling to the end and we find ourselves caught between.

Breathless.

Often it is the onset of what is called the Dark Night of the Soul. This is seen everywhere in our world with the massive overtaking of depression and rage. When our cards of transformation have been laid on the table before us, we have no ability to contest. It has been decided and we will now walk a path of what from the outside may appear a road littered with destruction, pain, sorrow, regret and broken bleeding hearts. The ego would have us believe that this will never end, that we will surely not survive. Death perhaps is the best option. We look in the mirror and we see an empty carcass that we once called home. We found ourselves comfortable and attached to a certain image of what we perceived as truth. Now we see it as the mirage it truly was. Our longing to go back in time and change our choices, to walk different paths only stemming from the deep seeded pain we feel. Our physical bodies feeling the spiritual turbulence as the poison of transformation sets into our blood. Everywhere we look we have
memories. We have regrets. Tears fall, rage commands our words, and self
loathing wraps its nasty fingers around our throats masked through our ego as
harsh words and looks from those that love us.

This is a time we walk the shadow lands. The scriptures tell us to walk and fear no evil. They tell us of times that we will lie down in green pastures beside still
waters. Our soul will be renewed and strengthened.

As we cross the ragged bridges of time and see our life drift in the waters of emotion below us we slowly learn to have faith in our steps, for they are guided by a higher power. It is the hands of God that hold us, not the clenching arms of a vampire. Even when the ego bares its fangs and makes us weak from its hunger, it is still God that is administering in the darkness. Our father who art in heaven knows that he cannot show us the light of our pure and true divinity if we do not get through the darkness first. In this overcast we will find rainbows and at the end of each one we will discover, not a pot of gold (no that is for leprechauns), we discover that our pockets are filled with diamonds. And these diamonds have ALWAYS been there. They are our purpose. They are our supposed unholy hungers carefully placed there by no other then God himself. It is through the self-discovery and personal intimacy (INTO-ME-I-SEE) building with our souls that we harvest our birth right. Our Grace!

Once we discover our true radiance we have no fear, we dance with the devil and with vampires. They are our kin only choosing to keep their masks of ego on. We entwine in passionate lustful affairs with handsome strangers and laugh as we drink from our never ending cups of life. We realize that this physical world is our play-land. It is here to help us to become like Merlin. And awaken to the beauty of our own inner Vampire which thirsts for life and is immortal. We are God’s and Goddesses. We are creators and lovers. We are demons, dragons and angels, warriors and princesses. We are spiritual entities experiencing a mortal moment.

What will your moment be like?