Are You Falling Prey To This Lie Like Millions?

 

THERE IS  A LIE WE BELIEVE THAT CHANGES ALL OF OUR UNDERSTANDING….

 

With all the worlds chaos and turbulence,

I am witnessing a massive amount of said “lightworkers,” christians, believers of faith and LOA, genuianly “good” souls fall prey to the misconception around a lie that they have bought full heartedly into,

 

and that lie is AWARENESS = ALWAYS BEING POSITIVE

 

It is funny how we humans are so eager to jump down one another’s throats in ego and pain,

we point fingers of blame and cuddle up in our victimhood statues of reasoning,

quick to accuse others of being blind, low vibe or even spiritually bypassing issues and feelings,

but then in the same turn of spewing out all these negative charges,

show frustration and even fear toward truth that does hurt.

Toward truth and awareness that does not fit into what we call “spiritual” or “high vibe.”

 

We shun the concept of awareness that is not always uplifting.

As if seeing the true pain, sorrow, or darkness that does mask each of us in it’s own way and the world in general can just be ignored fully and by ignoring and ONLY focusing in on the good that we will somehow make the evils go away.

 

It is sort of like the child who is afraid of monsters in the closet so they hide their head under the blankets of their bed and tell themselves as long as I think happy thoughts then there will be no monsters,

but in reality the monsters they are hiding from are their abusive parents fighting in the hallway.

 

We will never make the evils of this world go away.

That is the truth.

What we perceive as evil is here for a reason,

it is upon this planet to create contrast.

 

Without contrast in our world we can never know what we desire or want for,

we would not evolve and expand.

It is only through contrast that we fully experience living.

 

But here is the conundrum for humanity,

how are we to manifest good if we witness the bad and get caught in it?

 

The key is getting caught in it or not.

 

There is this concept that feeling sad, angry, upset or any emotion that is not even keel is not good, is not natural.

It is encouraged in many belief structures and in how we raise our children to hold in the pain and anger and not let it out unless we want to be perceived as weak.

 

This is a falsity and one of the most unhealthy programs that we teach.

 

WIth this we have enwrapped ourselves in the idea that AWARENESS ….

 

AKA Consciousness,

is only and always to be UPLIFTING.

 

And when we share awareness that is not uplifting that we are in turn trying to fear monger.

 

Now don’t get me wrong, what we are all witnessing in our world of current and for many generations is just that from our leaders and media,

we are for sure being programmed by our trust in them and through television programming systems,

just as planned by those that control.

 

I am not speaking of the agendas of those who crave more power and are corrupt to the core,

I am speaking about the rest of society waking up to the truths that these dark souls are hiding in plain sight from us.

 

I am speaking about the fact that in order for you to heal anything or make powerful uplifting changes that you must….

 

First, become AWARE of the issue. And this may not be uplifting to awaken to the reality of a nightmare.

 

And second, see what the contrast that this nightmare is offering to your level of desire.

 

 

From here we can make significant change.

And yes focusing in on it after this point,

getting caught in all its entrappings of fear and darkness will not change it to what you desire for instead but, rather help it to gain power through the momentum of your fear around any such troublesome topic.

 

Your awareness transformed to true sight of what the opportunity that is actually being offered,

 

which is a desire for something better,

for healing,

for love and peace,

equality and safety,

etc.

can then be fully embraced.

 

It is here in this AWARENESS which is uplifting when we  empower ourselves with our true heart,

that what we focus on grows.

Here we can now CONSCIOUSLY move ourselves from witnessing the nightmare to putting our focus on what is good in our world.

 

When we consciously choose to move our focus and experience onto good we create more good.

And we do not get caught in the nightmare although we are aware of it existing.

 

This is not spiritual bypassing or ignoring of any sort,

it is being proactive with our life expression, thoughts and feelings.

 

It is not just hiding our heads under the covers and “trying” to think good thoughts,

but in turn moving ourselves authentically into good feeling experiences which means to focus on the sun coming up each day, the people in our lives who love us, our dog excited we are playing fetch, our child hugging us, our lover desiring us, the food in our fridge, that our car works, our heart is beating, the birds are chirping, Ozarks has a season 4….lol

 

Whatever makes you genuinely feel good.

That is the ticket.

And to hold this good feeling though for just one minute each day without doubt.

 

Did you catch that?

 

Without doubt.

 

Doubt destroys the feeling.

Doubt pulls us back to the fear and the hiding,

and from there we fall into our pain bodies and fight amongst ourselves which in turn keeps the fires of our world burning ever so more greatly.

 

To create the world and the life that we desire most for,

we must become AWARE and we MUST learn to find the beauty and empowerment in our own darkness,

When we can be grateful for our darkness we will then be able to see its truth in its offering to us and make conscious choices to breathe into life the world we crave most for.

 

Embrace the contrast.

 

And AS Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

www.kendalwilliams.com

Learn to manifest an unbound life today.

Speak Up Your Life.

Speak Your Vibe Up!
Speak it,
yell it,
talk about it.
You speak things into existence.
So be effing conscious of what you are manifesting.
The last few days I have been working with a bunch of people,
beautiful souls each and every one of them,
intelligent, courageous, strong, passionate, spiritual, loving people.
This is my tribe.
These are my clients.
And I am so proud of where each of them are and how they keep witnessing themselves and loving themselves into greatness.
However, the last few weeks there is a running theme.
And the theme is shitty talking,
I mean trash talk. Not smut talk, not crazy sexual talk,
but sheer trash thoughts that don’t make them feel good about life or self.
I see them getting caught up in loops of pain and suffering,
using terms such as,
“I can’t.”
“I tried.”
“I am stuck.”
And so many others.
These words are speaking them down.
Down in vibration.
Down in thought.
Down in emotion.
Down in movement and growth,
healing.
My response typically lands me a middle finger response or a “F – You!” as they don’t enjoy being told to STOP IT.
It’s not that easy to just STOP IT.
Beacuse these words are so natural and they are clarity based on relaity. There is passion around these words of “I can’t and I tried.”
It is a natural statement and feels so authentic.
But I want to bring you into a different reality,
the reality that if you are going through something similar as my client shere and feel like you are struggling, that you have been working your butt off but barely making it, that you have tried and tried and tried, but life just keeps showing you pain and struggle,
that you can change it.
You can speak up your vibration.
You can focus your words into creating a different reality for you to observe.
So instead of saying “I can’t”
Try saying “OMG! this _______________ is so amazing. It is the most magnificent thing.”
Skip the I can and go straight to the creation of what you are wanting.
For instance….
Say you are making $50,000 a year but you want to make more. You are putting in the time and effort but you are not seeing any change in income yet,
instead of saying,
” I am trying to figure out a way to make extra money to offset things but nothing seems to be popping for me.”
Say…(to yourself outloud in the mirror)
“I am so excited, I just made an extra $500 this week!”
“I am earning $75,000) this year, it’s magnificent.”
When we use words such as magnificent, fantastic, wonderful, beautiful, incredible they carry with them a higher vibration. We instantly change our energy.
But what is more important to realize here is that our words,
all of them CREATE.
They are the nails, the boards and the glue of our lives manifestations. From our words we build what our life experience is. And this is why so many people are struggling with their health, wealth and relationships.
Just yesterday I was speaking with a beautiful young woman that I am currently working with and I shared with her that when I turned 30 years old everyone around me told me how it was all downhill from here. That I was going to feel the age, I was going to gain weight and could not lose it, that I would start to get sick more and end up on medications and that I was now old.
I laughed about that and said, “That’s not my reality. My 30’s are going to be magnificent. Playful, healthy and strong.” I told myself how beautiful I was and how great I felt.
And guess what, it was so.
When I turned 40 I heard all the same shiz.
Except people told me that I was lucky that it did not happen in my 30’s, but now….
now it was for sure going to happen.
I was on the back side of my life.
And here I am at 44, mother to seven, and I feel great.
I get told all the time I don’t look my age,
I have vitality.
I take no medications.
And I still speak up my vibration to,
“That’s not my reality.”
I keep speaking my reality to what I want and I speak it daily in my thoughts,
to myself in the mirror,
I allow myself to act youthful,
I play,
I enjoy adventures,
I enjoy life.
And so it is that my life experience corresponds to what I am speaking into existence.
So many folks do the opposite though and they grow old and sickly just because they believe that when they hit a certain number of age that that’s the way it is supposed to be and they speak their lives down.
This is true with any subject area of our lives.
We can speak it up or we can speak it down.
So if you are one of the naysayers to your life and you are speaking about how you can’t, or how you are struggling,
how life is hard, how much pain you are in, how much crap keeps happening to you,
then all I can say is….
STOP IT!
Stop creating your misery.
Life is not doing anything to you that you are not asking for.
That you are not speaking into your experience.
And the more you play those negative records on replay,
the more you emotionalize the fear and pain, the struggle and drama,
and believe that its normal,
that its just the way it is because of your age, your income status, your sex, your country or religion,
the more you create with certainty.
It does not have to be that way though.
You can SPEAK UP YOUR VIBRATION,
thus the things that attract into your life expereince.
But you have to be willing to take responsibility for what you are saying to self and to everyone you come into conversation with.
You must watch your words.
They have power.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to learn how to Speak Up Your Vibe to Manifest the Life that You Really want to be living?
Message me on deet’s for my 1:1 coaching opportunities now.

Here is How God is Using You and What To Do About It.

The universe is using you.

 

Yes you read that right.

The universe is using you.

You could say God is using you even.

 

But what are these forces greater than you using you for?

 

Creation.

And I am not talking about making babies.

I am talking about making life, yes…

but not not babies.

The universe is using you to experience life.

To experience creation.

To create and to expand.

If you are not expanding then the universe is not expanding.

Therefore, you are always expanding.

 

And you do this through pain and pleasure.

You get to choose though how you expand.

You get to open yourself to the expansion and have the universe penetrate you in one of these ways.

 

When we struggle,

when we feel anxiety and great resistance to the good things that life has to offer us,

we are choosing pain over pleasure.

But the pain is not a bad thing,

it is not comfortable for sure to be in a state of pain and struggle, but it is not a bad thing because it creates desire.

And in the birthing of our desires we expand.

Desire for something more,

something better and grander,

is what we are here for.

That desire is what breeds life to happen.

That desire is what stokes our creative fires and gets us moving.

That desire is what ignites us to let go of our pain.

And when we let go of our pain and struggle,

when we realize that we have always had it,

that whatever we desire is already with us,

and that we are worthy of it,

our letting go of the pain is us letting go of the resistance to having that, that we want for.

 

Did you catch that?

You are not getting what you want in your life because you are not letting go of the pain of not having it.

So you are resisting having what you want.

You are applying your power, your ability to manifest to not having your desired outcome.

And therefore, that is what is given to you.

 

But with that resistance you expand your desire and hunger for what you are wanting for, giving it more power.

Creating more momentum.

 

The universe is there supporting your expansion in desire to create.

To birth this desire into play.

And to enjoy it.

 

And you will have it once you get your belief that you can have it on board with your desire to have it.

 

By doing this you become aligned.

And in getting aligned you receive it,

quickly.

 

But the belief is shown from your ability to let go of the struggle, the fear, the anxiety, the worry, the pain.

 

Can you put it all down and look at your right now,

see the blessings and the joy of the right now,

no matter how small they may be?

 

Can you feel good right now by thinking a thought that opens your heart to love or to beauty?

 

Can you slow down right now enough to loosen your grip on the idea that you are sinking so that you can float?

 

This is what it takes.

This is what it requires for you to have the life and desires that you are wanting for.

And by letting go,

the universe will move through you with great momentum and miracles will occur.

 

You get to choose how long it takes to create your desired life.

You get to choose what you have in this life of yours.

You get to choose how abundant you are in love, in money and wellbeing.

 

You are such a powerful love.

It is true that when you ask it is given.

 

Your only job is to let go of the reigns of fear.

 

Are you ready to step on the gas in manifesting the life that you want for?

 

And Remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Take advantage right now of a lifetime opportunity to work with me in my intensive 4 week mastermind where you get to work 1:1 with me to learn the keys that I woke up to back in 2009 and changed my whole life outcome with.  Let me guide you through the turbulence of the storms and show you the power of letting go of fear so that you can create the life of dreams, you know that you desire and deserve it. Let’s make it happen. Message me for deet’s

Hard to Breathe.

Some moments seem too hard to breathe through.

 
Have you ever felt like this?
 
You want to run, but there is no place to hide.
You want to escape this world, this life because your heart is so heavy, so full of pain and it feel’s like there is no purpose behind any of it.
 
The more you try to just go with it, or let it go,
The more you smile and just take steps seemingly forward ,
The more you inquire and sit with the pain in quiet moments alone,
The more you attempt to do WHATEVER it takes to allow yourself to carry on,
 
You feel yourself retracting even more.
You feel yourself shrinking into nothing.
You feel yourself letting go of who you were born to be,
Who you long to be.
 
This is what my last year has been like in so many ways.
And in truth, if I get REALLY REAL with you here, it has been longer.
 
Where did my heart get scared and decide it was not safe?
When did my soul escape the confounds of this being?
When did I turn away?
 
Away from me.
Away from my core.
Away from my love.
Away from my wings.
Away from my worthiness.
 
As I inquire deeper and deeper, I just feel more lost, more overwhelmed, more HOPELESS.
 
In these times of self-awareness I stand with a great uncertainty.
And I SEE just how this life long agony of my heart and soul have lead me from moment to moment.
 
Choice to choice.
 
I see that this pain has been a catalyst and a destroyer.
It has helped me to meet myself at deeper levels.
It has shown me some of the darkest shadows of myself.
It has gotten me intimately connected to my desires.
It has cradled me as I cry and fear that I will NEVER be ENOUGH and yet shudder with the concern of BEING TO MUCH.
 
The dagger in my chest that is pushing itself ALL the WAY through my soul ONLY has life in me giving it mine.
 
It has no purpose of it’s own, it is only here bleeding out my light.
It has NOTHING.
 

NOTHING without my attachment to it.

 
So why then do I desire to hold on to it and keep pushing it deeper into my heart?
 
Why then do I find a fascination in the pain?
 
Why then do I believe I CANNOT exist without this pain?
 
I fear being pain free.
I fear being free.
I fear being whole.
I fear me.
 
I fear my greatness.
I fear my light.
I fear my heart.
I fear my worthiness.
 
The moments that are seemingly too hard to breathe through are the exact moments that expand us.
 
It is these La’ Petite Mort of the heart that we gain GREAT insight and we are
 

Rebirthed.

 
We become a new version of ourselves by our own accepting.
Our own honoring.
 
This that feel’s like it will certainly cause us to parish, most certainly will do JUST THAT.
 
It will cause the old version of us to no longer exist.
And if we embrace what it is here for then we will SHINE BRIGHTER than before.
 
Love deeper than before.
Laugh more than before.
Expand our wings wider than before.
Shine brighter than before.
 
These breathless moments, where we can not capture the air that we need for survival as we are.
 

These are our opportunities for GREATNESS.

 
 
And remember,
 

Naturally Expressed

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It has been two weeks since the last Naked Musing  and I am sure that some are wondering what the news is with me. As you can see from the banner photo chosen for this week and the one to the left, sweet little Gabriel Jon has made his arrival. (You may view the whole album HERE  He was born on May 31st @ 10:05PM and was 9 lbs. 5 oz..  21 inches long. It was a beautiful labour and birth. I must admit that out of my six births that his was INCREDIBLE. It was the first time that I got to experience birth from a point of 100% natural. No medications, no inducing, no nothing that the Creator did not intend. I also was blessed to have a water-birth at the Allen Birthing Center and was able to enjoy this miracle event with my partner and my three daughters. Such a powerful, healing and heart shattering moment in life.

After the labour in following days, many discussions between my girls and I came up. The education and deep connection between our female soul journeys was brought to a high point in the birth of their little brother. It allowed for me to share a part of our human existence with them that many young people NEVER get a first hands account of. Yes, we are shown movies in health class, told what such events are like and see Hollywood’s depiction in movies but nothing can ever make up for what the real event is like. The energy in the room as a little being is being birthed and taking his/her first breath of life outside the womb is incomparable to anything else. The incredible heightened energy between mother and father as they connect and keep focus throughout contractions and the sounds that clear through our throat chakra as women as we work with nature and our bodies brings us to a state of awe. As one of my daughters said, “Mom, you did not scream or do anything like the movies show. It sounded more like an orgasmic moan with each of your contractions.” And this is true for my experience. There were moments in the end of labour where I would say I entered the state of Satori even.

A few months ago I wrote a Naked Musing titled Orgasmic Womb-man Hood where I shared a concept about pain and suffering and how we can turn such “painful” events into Orgasm. One such event that science is looking into is labour. It is shown that 21% of women during birth experience orgasm. What is the cause for this bliss to manifest from something that we are taught is the most physically painful event of life. I am confident that if the survey went deeper into the rabbit hole of this phenomenon that we would discover that is somewhere around the same percentage of women that decide to experience labour and birth NATURALLY.

In our world today we are told to crave the bliss, desire the highs but avoid the lows. We are told that painful events are “bad” or wrong and that we should mask the feelings of these events with things that numb us or bring us a false sense of pleasure. What we are not told is that you cannot walk through this life avoiding all the perceived pain and not get a whiplash effect from the masking. Every time we choose to block out the pain of our lives we prevent our mind, body and soul from full expression, experience and rapture. We prevent ourselves from LIVING, yet living and connecting to life is what we are all searching for.

**I encourage each who reads this note to STOP the insanity of masking, dig deep into your beautiful being and find that courage to LIVE, free, unbound and fully expressed**.

So how does one go about living free, unbound and fully expressed?

Learn the steps today to live your life EMPOWERED.

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The sexual performance anxiety epidemic

While there may not be a verifiable “epidemic” of performance anxiety, many people are unhappy in their sexual lives because they worry that they are not doing it right. They feel inadequate and unsure of themselves, and somehow sex isn’t so much fun anymore. (note: we’re speaking here primarily of heterosexual sexuality, though the basic approach also applies to same-sex lovemaking)

In fact, while worrying about whether your sexual performance is satisfactory, meeting up with your lover for sex can come to seem like just another household chore, or perhaps some kind of final exam, which you could flunk!

This pervasive sense of doubt about your sexual performance has a further insidious effect: it makes your performance worse. When you are worrying about how you are doing, you’re not in the moment. You’re not enjoying your partner’s touch or the pleasures of touching him or her. The thoughts are whirring around in your head: will I keep my erection? Can I get turned on enough for him? Am I moving OK? What is he thinking about my body (OMG I’m fat)? Can I make him (her) come?

These thoughts are highly distressing, and distract you from the pleasures of the moment. Just a reminder: sex is (supposed to be) fun and pleasurable. Making love should be much more like play than work.Being a great lover does not depend upon hitting some kind of performance targets.

Part of what makes this so difficult is our cultural myopia about sexuality and making love. We partake of these cultural notions through osmosis, from media depictions of sexuality, overheard conversations and adolescent fantasies. Unfortunately, much of it is not accurate!

These cultural assumptions are simplistic, condensing the rich tapestry of adult sexual possibility to a few bullet points:

  • Sex equals  penis-in-vagina intercourse;
  • This necessarily requires an erection for the male, and automatic lubrication for the female; and
  • It doesn’t really count unless both partners experience an orgasm.

Note that each of these steps indicates an expectation for the targeted behavior: this is where performance anxiety begins. What if I can’t have sex because of pain? What if I can’t keep an erection? What if I can’t make my partner have an orgasm? What if I don’t have an orgasm?

This is a tangled web. These expectations lead to worry about performance, which degrades performance and stifles enjoyment, resulting in unhappy lovers who don’t feel good about themselves.

There’s a better way to find satisfying, enjoyable and exciting sex with your Beloved. It begins with an honest acknowledgement that things aren’t going well, and a strong affirmation that you want to work together to create a more satisfying sexual relationship.

Since these cultural expectations about sex have contributed to the performance anxiety, you’re going to need a new framework so you can explore and express your sexual desires together without going to the anxious place.

Rather than stress about whether you are achieving the “milestones” of erection/lubrication, intercourse and orgasm it changes everything if you limit your focus to the giving and receiving of pleasure. Pleasure is a sensory experience, denoted by sensations of deliciousness in taste; good feelings in the nerve endings that sense pleasurable touch; the sweetness of special smells; the experience of harmony or melodiousness in sounds; the perception of visual beauty.

Pleasure is what making love is about.

You don’t have to think about whether a particular sensation is pleasurable or not – you know it, in the bodily experience of a favorite food, sensual touch, a beloved song, an encounter with beauty. So it’s simply a matter of trusting your perceptions. If it feels good, it’s pleasurable. Our bodies are set up to perceive pleasure, with millions of specialized nerve endings devoted to this mission.

Making love consists primarily of giving and receiving pleasure – through word and gesture, through sound and sight and taste and touch. When you let go of the performance hurdles and deadlines and relax into playing together with pleasure, it is easy to relax into the moments which blur into timelessness.

But wait! What about orgasm/intercourse/getting off! I don’t want to miss anything!

Arousal, desire and direct sexual stimulation which may lead to the explosive pleasure of orgasm – all can be yours easily and directly, through this relaxed approach. Rather than straining to try to achieve orgasm, holding your breath and tensing all your muscles to try to make it happen, why not relax and allow your body to experience the natural progression of pleasure?

It takes practice to let go of a habitual anxious approach to sex. The desire for a quick fix is just another expression of performance anxiety, just another deadline you’re not going to make.

Optimal sexual experience occurs when partners care for each other, communicate about what they are doing together, and when they are relaxed. Relaxation is the foundation of healthy sex. Give yourself and your partner the gift of relaxing as you make love. Allow yourself to simply pay attention to and luxuriate in the pleasurable sensations you are experiencing, without attempting to go anywhere. Let delight wash over you; play with your partner, gently pleasuring him or her. Be curious and playful as you explore the erotic playground of your loving connection.

READ MORE Articles from David Yarian at Joy of Making Love

Pleasure Psychotherapy

I met a pleasure based psychotherapist recently. When Janov’s Primal Therapy came along I seem to recall that he said that a therapist was a dealer in pain. So is therapy about pleasure or pain and trauma?

Nobody would go to a therapist to talk about how happy they were or what a great childhood they had; but it is one of the more interesting questions in therapy the extent to which we have to go in to past pain and trauma to clear it out. In our culture we have the “no pain, no gain” school of development. A deeply Puritan culture like the British is very suspicious of happiness. I can lead straight in to the arms of The Devil. In most therapies, both humanistic and analytic happiness could well be covering something up; even a manic defence against deep sadness. Of course this can be true but it is also true that many defences, particularly somatic ones, tend to block access to all deep emotions; pain as well as joy.  This is simply because all strong emotions and body sensations are close together in their emotional anatomy and neurology. On a fairground roller-coaster the riders play with the edge between fear and excitement; screaming with fear as the car descends and then cuing up for another go! A father playing with a young child may throw them up in the air and catch them giving squeals of joy, excitement, fear overcome by return to safety. Deep sobbing and deep belly laughter are quite similar to observe from the outside. In the intense autonomic activation of orgasm, pleasure and crying can come together. Those in to BDSM are experts on the edge between pleasure and pain and how both can lead to altered states of consciousness.

Many therapies are very interested in trauma; particularly if that term is extended from single incident events such as an accident, or act of abuse or death of someone to include developmental trauma such as having a depressed mother when there would be many occasions when the required empathic attunement and care-giving weren’t there. In the past going into the pain was seen as the only way. Now with modern energy psychology methods such as AIT(www.aitherapy.org) that I practice this is known not to be necessary. Just naming the trauma and finding the location in the body is often enough to clear it.

So as we block pleasure and pain, when a client comes in for a session reporting that they feel good. Unless I am very suspicious of this, I will only want to move feeling good to feeling fantastic. There has been more attention recently to positive psychology and to the concept of Flow,  (from Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi);  a state of being where we are not divided and distracted but fully engaged in life at that moment.

So while I will try as a therapist to stay fairly divided in my attention between pain and pleasure. I have a growing sense that working with pleasure and how to expand it and deepen it within our bodies and our neurology is a powerful way forward. This forms a large part of my book Tantric Psychotherapy that I am working on at the moment (see www.tantricpsychotherapy.com )

Martin is London based psychotherapist 

READ More from Martin HERE

BIO:

I have worked for nearly 30 years a psychotherapist and counsellor and supervisor. In private practice and in training courses, for a university and now for the police.

Bobcat Under the Dancing Stars

starbrightThe night air was warm and muggy, my flesh felt moist to the touch as the breeze blew across the grasses that lay beside my body.  Starring up into the heavens, begging something in this vast expression of god’s touch to speak to me, to guide me, to make the pain of my heart chakra stop and in the same moment tears of gratitude flooded my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.  As the tears caused distortion to my sight I latched onto one single star in the heavens. It seemed so alone in the night sky.  Alone and yet surrounded by billions of other energy bodies all dancing and flickering happily. This one solo star though radiated stronger then the majority of it relations.  My tears made the stars gleam blur and swim in colors. A beautiful solo dance had manifested itself just for me as I lay there. The universe was speaking as it always does if we are willing to listen. Just like the ocean that carries many stories and yet holds on to none, so was the message of love for me this night.  Love is meant to be ever expanding yet we try and control it, we try and box it up, protect the one’s we love and ourselves from the pain of the beauty of the light of love. When instead what we should be doing is embracing the moments and realizing that each soul that comes into our lives changes us. Quantum physics is discovering that our capacity of our energies to blend with other energies is never ending. As a result we all become a composite of EVERY soul we have ever encountered.  Showing us the importance to surround ourselves with people whose souls will nurture our own.  No man or woman is an island. We have no choice but to absorb the energies of others. It is natural and automatic. Weather you believe in quantum physics or not, just like breathing air.  It leaves us changed forever. OUR personalities are ALWAYS changing depending on who we choose to be around. We are never the same person from moment to moment!

If we were to except our love relationships as larger deposits of energy then a soul that we meet at the gas station or even our next door neighbor we would experience a deeper sense of gratitude for each soul that we chose to open our hearts too. It is these chosen few or many that emboss a new sense of self onto our hearts and souls. Impressions that may last life times.

As we look at the star from my midnight meditation, we see that even stars share energy (light) with one another. No matter how distant apart they are or how solo they may seem. Depending on where we are when we look up into the heavens, their dance speaks to us in different ways, ALWAYS. This universe is alive and conscious.  Our consciousness creates the material world making the universe self-aware. If we open up, as many ancient civilizations did to the Omens that is spirit speaking then we can adjust our consciousness, expand it and learn to be in love with what is instead of trying to dictate what we want. Through embracing our souls, our hearts and the divine flow of life we nurture ourselves, discover a more gentle understanding and can see that in everything there is pain and pleasure.  When we elevate to a point that we are loving the beauty of death and the pain of birth then we can simply breathe and be present in the moment.  This does not mean that we will not experience pain, grief, upset. It does not mean that we will only have bliss in every moment. It just means that we accept and realize that life is always flowing, ever changing, like a river.

As I stared up at this solo star with a smile on my face, tears were cascading down my cheek, my heart pounding as though I had just run a marathon and my hands feeling the beat of mother earth beneath them I remembered a warm summer day when Bobcat appeared to me.

image_BobcatSitting at a park bench with a young man that I had just recently met and found myself connected to instantly, my heart in that moment beating as though I had run a marathon, a smile on my face and the feel of mother earths pulse beneath my bare feet, I breathed in the energies that dance around the two of us. The moment was perfect. And the universe wanted to speak. There upon her flesh she sent a messenger.  In the distance I saw something walking our direction. It was a cat. I pointed to it because it seemed to be too large to be your average house cat but was shocked it could be much else since we were in a large community park just outside of Dallas. He approached confidently and before getting to close yet close enough for us to see the messengers name; he turned to the side revealing that he was Bobcat. ‘OMG! Is that a bobcat?” I said. “Let’s follow him, see where he takes us, what message he has.” This daring man agreed although I am certain he was convinced in this moment I was crazy. Bobcat walked the trail not far in front of us, occasionally stopping to look over his shoulder to see if we were following.  He slinked his swaying body along the tree lined path with us in step. Guiding us back to the car we had come in. Looking back at this Omen I can see now Bobcat’s message.  Similar to the dancing star.  Bobcats are animals of solitude; they walk between the veils of this world and the mystical. They trust their instincts, are willing to take risks, and are quiet and sensitive to their environments. They are mostly isolated but know that they need at times of life companionship. On this day Bobcat was sharing his message. It was time to allow someone into our hearts. Into our energy, our world.

funvidandegopicsfeb11 024Later that day I was surprised by yet another Omen. My beloved house cat of 10 years whom had disappeared almost a year before had suddenly returned home, safe and well.  Ecstatic I shared this message with the man from the park. It was a birth of a new cycle in life. My heart danced at the opportunity and the bliss I felt. Happy in the moment. My being glowed as though I was pregnant and in a way I was. My heart was opening; my soul was healing, my spirit dancing with the stars.  Yet all cycles have a transition point or what we call a death, an end.  Bobcat’s message is a two part one. It is a message of cycles. The acceptance that when the time of companionship is done blossoming, the petals of the flower will wilt and fall back to the earth.  Solitude will again reinstate itself and like the bobcat even though we may feel overwhelmed and sensitive to our new found world and the death of the cycle we must find the courage to do what soul requests. Discovering the beauty in death is the message and still being able to dance under the same starry night sky and be grateful for each breath, the energies exchanged and the love that was embossed upon our hearts.

The Universe speaks. The final Omen of this tale is my beloved house cat. When the dance was over he too parted ways yet again. Sharing the message” Letting go and loving what is is all we can do”.

In the expansion of love, of feeling pleasure, joy and happiness we expand our whole being. Meaning that our vessel will “feel more” of everything. This can be scary for many of us. As whom wants to feel more pain, grief, suffering, anger, etc.  We want to choose what we feel more of. In some ways we can. We do this through our thinking and paying attention to our consciousness and what we are feeling. Inquiry of our thoughts is important.  Discovering what is true in our thinking and what is false.  For example, “He/she does not love me or they would not do this.” Is that true? Can you be certain that they do not love you because they are not acting a certain way? No you cannot.  90% of our thoughts are not even real. They are assumptions based on our programming. They are our ego causing doubt, fear, and distortion of the truth. If we can learn to separate our thoughts from our feelings (which they are VERY separate, we just bulk them together) then we can  have greater certainty in what we are to do in life and what will make us happy.

At the end of your days when we are breathing in your final moments here on this planet, in this body what will you wish for? Will you be full of regrets? Will you look back at your life, your loved ones, all that you accomplished or did not accomplish and have peace in your soul? Will your soul say I lived this life, I loved deeply in this life, and I risked everything and cherished every breath taking moment? I expanded and pushed my boundaries, saw my divinity and danced openly in moments of bliss and pain. I allowed my heart to be revealed my spirit to speak and I listened to the wisdom of my body, the feelings of my heart and the Omens of the Universe. I have no regrets.

What will your soul song be on your last day?