A yes to your pleasure.
It’s f*cking hard to surrender. And that’s exactly the problem that we all have.
We want the orgasm.
We want the connection.
We want the effing firework’s.
But we won’t just allow surrender to over take us and just blow our f*cking mind.
You know it’s true!
If your like many people, just reading the word surrender had you go into some sort of convulsions and excuses in your body. Maybe you said, ” I surrender all the time. I know how to go with the flow and just be.” Or maybe you felt some constriction in your chest, back or stomach. Maybe, just maybe you simply shook your head and said, “yep! that’s right, surrender is f*cking hard.” No matter what your response was as you read the title to this musing, you know its right.
Surrender is f*cking hard.
Because it’s scary as shit, that’s why.
Let me share a small tale with you and sorta tattle on myself in the process.
In recent month’s I have been struggling with surrender. I know how to and I can do it damn good and pleasurably as well too. I fully understand the blessings that I will reap if I just let go and surrender however, since about last July I have been stuck in what one may call a holding pattern. Just trying to maintain my energy, my emotions, and carry on as things sort themselves out. The issue with this holding pattern that quickly became a habit was that it had me locking down all my emotions and feeling. It had me restricting myself from fully embracing life in all ways.
You see when we restrict ourselves from surrendering to life and living faith based, even if it appears that we are only doing so in this aspect of our life and not over there or there, we are in fact limiting the supply of blessings and preventing the fullness of our dynamic ability to connect to God. You don’t get to say, ” I am not going to feel that, but I will feel this fully.” No, the universe does not operate like that. If you want to experience the highs of life and all the joy, bliss and beauty, then you have to be willing to experience and learn from the contrasting feelings and emotions that life offers up as well.
After all you and I are not here for life results. We are here for life experience.
You don’t get to take all the shit you gather up here with you. You get to take with you the emotion, the memory, and the experience of this life.
Your fancy car’s, houses and wardrobe won’t do you a damn bit of good in the after life. Neither will being the most responsible, dutiful citizen. Sure these are all wonderful things, and certainly make life more enjoyable and pleasant, but the reality is that ultimately THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU ARE HERE FOR!
You are here to learn to connect.
Yes that is what you are here for. What I am here for and everyone else.
It is that simple.
No matter what your faith or religion is, the truth is still the same.
Connection is ALL THAT MATTERS.
Think about it. What are we searching for when we are “looking for God,” or sitting in silence to pray or meditate? What are we wanting when we read scripture and ask for guidance from God?
Connection to God.
Connection to something greater than self.
Connection to ourselves.
Connection to others.
Without connection, no other goal matters, because if we are not leaning in and surrendering to God’s love and direction by becoming the witness within ourselves and embracing our own love for self as well as the love that is given FREELY by God/Universe then we can NEVER achieve any of our dreams, goals or desires long term.
We may get a taste of them for a fleeting moment but without the full embrace of our worthiness of receiving them and this means SURRENDERING to what our spirit knows at its core and living from our truth instead of this fictitious mask that we all love to try and play some role in, then we will never truly be blessed with all that is stored up in heaven for us and is right here waiting to be enjoyed in this lifetime.
Yet, here we are still arguing in so many ways about why we cannot or should not surrender.
Maybe it’s trust issues.
Maybe it’s a belief that you cannot have what you are desiring.
Maybe you are fearful of being abandoned by whomever or even God if you just get the f*ck out of your head and allow yourself to drop down into your body.
Maybe you are scared you will be too much, show to much or even that you may enjoy it to much.
Who the effing cares what the reason is that you are choosing NOT to surrender to your greatest and highest orgasmic life, the fact is that I am willing to wager that you are NOT!
Unless you can sit there and say, “Kendal, my life is so amazing, I cannot imagine anything being better. I have all my life in perfect order, I am living on purpose and am a total F*ck YES! to every day. I have all the abundance and well-being that I could ever desire.” And here is the kicker to that statement, you may say, yeah Kendal, that’s right and I am damn good at surrender.
Well, what does you life picture show?
Is that true?
What would your spouse, lover, friend, or family say?
I admitted a bit ago that I have been having surrender issues since back in July. The rest of the story is pretty simple.
There was this boy and this girl and they were fiercely in love, until one day when one of them was not. That day the world came to a STOP for the girl and her surrender give a shit button BROKE. Try as hard as she might to recover it from the damage that it under took, she found herself running from the pain her heart felt and the anger it held. She shut that shit down, because it was not good or productive and she focused in on the blessings in her life. She focused in on what she could CONTROL and dedicated herself to family and career.
Month’s passed and the girl tried repeatedly to pull that band aid off her bleeding heart and just surrender to life again and have faith that things would get better. That it was okay for her to open herself up and feel connection to someone again other than her family. Day after day, she tried everything possible, but always came back with the same result, a meh experience.
Almost hopeless, she decided that she had no choice but to just allow and see what would happen. Because in all of her trying she was actually pushing herself away from the thing that she desired so much. Her focus and dedication to “make it happen,” was creating resistance to surrender and preventing her from enjoying the rapture of connection, joy, and orgasm that was being presented to her repeatedly.
But then it happened!
Just like that, she had broken to a point where she no longer had the strength to hold the resistance and try and force something to happen.
There she lay, under her new lovers body, his focus completely present with her. Penetrating her not just to fantastic physical levels of depth, but as well to her heart and soul. Stroke after stroke, he lead her to go deeper inside herself where she had no choice but to meet up with her heart and just experience what it had to offer in this orgasmic surrender. The physical feelings were lovely and deep, but the emotional sensation brought tears to her eyes and as she found herself trying to hold them back, she could now feel her own resistance to her surrender heavy on her chest and tight in her pussy.
Here was the threshold that no one could carry her across but herself. Here, she had to make a choice and either stand strong in her resistance to receive or open and surrender her physical body more so that her emotional, mental and spiritual bodies could be penetrated and carried to the alter of God once again.
Her choice was a most delicious one.
A life altering one.
She chose to go deeper.
She chose to lean into love.
Lean into her orgasm, her abundance, her radiance.
She chose to STOP Surviving & Start Living.
What will you choose?
To unsubscribe from my newsletter, my Facebook and anywhere else that you may be checking in on my work.
YES, I am inviting you to say GOOD BYE Kendal.
Here is why.
2018 is a year of you could say transformation, but in truth it is a year of me saying YES to my AUTHENTIC SELF and my desire to be a crusader. My burning passion to speak the words that I have been holding back for my entire life that NOW want to be birthed from my lips and my finger tips. It is a year where you will see me make harsh but loving statements that may push you far past your comfort zones and even giving me the middle finger.
It is a year where you may say, “ OMG! Kendal went and got saved!” – LOL
And perhaps I did.
Or perhaps the possibility is that I am just choosing to allow 2018 to be the year that I STOP standing in the shadow of shame around my spiritual beliefs and desires and what I have come to learn from walking a path of CERTAINTY and opening to the blessings that are all around.
Perhaps, the possibility of 2018 is that my soul can no longer sit still and be quiet and give what society and many of my readers and followers “think” they need or want, where the focus is on sex and how best to stroke a clit or a cock.
Because ANYONE who has ever coached with me or worked with me in any capacity can bear testimony that my teachings are 98% based in CONSCIOUSNESS training NOT sexual skills.
Here is the thing, no matter what title I give myself, I coach the same. I speak the same. I praise the same. I work on the same issues, the same blockages, the same fear based thinking and habits that DESTROY your relationships, your intimacy, your sex, your ability to experience abundance, peace, joy, connection, health and vitality. NONE of this is changing, because it is my calling to help restore consciousness and connection between humankind and the creator ( whatever name you use). The principles and soul technology that I coach on remain the same. It has always been and always will be at the core of what I do and how I live my own life.
The difference and the REASON you need to STOP FOLLOWING me now, is because I am going to be a base ball bat.
I am NOT going to apologize for stating things the way I know them.
I am NOT going to hold back any longer.
I am NOT going to cower in the ego based fear of how you may receive me or not.
I am NOT going to allow the programs that many of us subscribe too, conquer me another day around how I should look, act, speak, teach, or coach.
So here is the thing…
IF YOU CHOOSE, to keep following me, you may grow even more discontent with your life and what you have CHOSEN to SETTLE for.
You may get very mad at my emails, my video’s, my conscious coffee’s, my articles, courses, workshops and talks.
You may start to ask yourself tough questions, such as, ” Why am I not happy?” – ” Why do I never feel truly connected, seen or loved?” – ” What am I really searching for?” – ” Why does my life feel like a chore?” and “Is this really all there is?”
You may start to observe things from a deeper state of calm, where the mind chatter starts to be put to bay.
You may start to truly feel life and yourself.
You may discover an orgasmic life, where you cannot help but smile from the joy coming from deep within.
You may start loving yourself. Forgive yourself and others.
You may awaken your compassionate heart.
You may actually start seeing the MAGIC in your daily life and OMG! You may actually EXPECT miracles to occur on a regular basis.
You may start living instead of just existing.
You may awaken one morning and say, ” It is TIME. Time for a change. Time to open. Time to love again. Time to STOP FEARING.”
Yes, you may do these things, but they will come with the price of having your ego pushed around. Your stubborn thinking patterns rearranged and the mental masturbation practices that you have grown so comfortable with as your truth and logic stripped down to what they really are: ILLUSION.
You see, I am trying to SAVE YOU the heartache of following me any longer. Why fill the space in your email, or on this screen with words that will cause you to QUESTION your reality. Your Thinking. Your heart. Your trust in something greater than yourself.
Why follow someone who believes so strongly in this mission, ” Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Why continue to follow someone who BELIEVES YOU, yes you, deserve GREATNESS.
That is your natural state of being and that God desires nothing more than to grant it to you.
You must say GOODBYE.
Goodbye to ego.
Good bye to fear.
Goodbye to doubt.
Goodbye to those things that hold you back.
Goodbye to your disbelief that God wants you to be HAPPY and have what you desire most.
And that maybe your DESIRE, to JUST be AVERAGE and just get through the next day.
So in that case you may need to say goodbye Kendal….
Because, I want to THRIVE!
I want to call down my blessings. And every day, I am granted the beauty of magical experiences, beautiful people and opportunities. Many reasons to smile. And even more reasons to share my joy. My faith, my life work, my heart and my soul.
Will you stay or will you go?
I cannot say.
You have free will.
Choose NOW. Because NOW is all you have, all you will ever have. Do not build your life of fear of tomorrow, but on the blessing of TODAY.
STOP Existing – START Living, This coaching is for Grown A*s Believers.
Often I use the words. “Orgasmic Living,” and many people question what I mean by this or assume that I am only speaking of intimate matters when in fact what I am saying is that life can be like an orgasm. It is this sensation of orgasm that we find ourselves searching for in all that we do.
We might call it by many other names such as desire, hunger, passion, purpose, love and even adrenaline. What we are saying in all of these is that we are craving ORGASM.
I love this time of the year for this very fact.
As a new year rolls around, we humans naturally crave change and the adventure and hope that it brings with it. We openly state our desires because they are masked under the “safety” of resolutions and intentions. Yet, it truly does not matter what we label something, the truth is still the same. We are DESIRING something and at the start of a fresh year we are less fearful to ASK for it. We are less fearful to SEEK it out. We are less fearful to KNOCK on doors of opportunity and to open ourselves to possibilities.
However, as the weeks and months go by, we find ourselves in doubt.
We find ourselves questioning if the life and desires that we claimed we wanted at the birthing of the new year are even out there and we begin to SETTLE for something LESS.
We sit back night after night, watching our Netflix and the news, playing games on Facebook and scrolling through our feed, wishing that we knew what to do and how to achieve something MORE. In the back of our minds a small voice whispers that it is possible, but the world around us is screaming that it is absurd to want anything other than what we already have. After all, who are we any way?
So we continue on with our lifeless life and allow the beauty of what could be, to be stripped away from our souls yet another year.
Living for the weekends.
Living for the holidays.
Living for that 2 weeks of vacation.
Living for the 5 o’clock hour where we can dart off to our local little watering hole and sit with others who are in the same constricting shoes of this life.
This is NOT Orgasmic Living!
This sure the effing is NOT!
Just writing these words makes my heart hurt like it is caught in chains of eternal torment with satan himself spitting in my face and laughing at the misery. Yet there you have it. There is what it truly is. It is HELL.
We have grown so comfortable to reside here in hell. We actually have brainwashed ourselves to BELIEVE that this is what living is. We have come to terms with the supposed facts of this delusional state of existing and many of us have no clue how to live outside of this illusion.
So we sign another year long lease and get comfortable in our suffering.
It does not have to be this way though. At any given moment in time we have the ability and choice to WAKE THE F*CK UP! and choose differently. God gave us free will so that we could overcome the evils of this land. The only thing asked of us is to BECOME CONSCIOUS. This is the only step needed to turn the corner to a new life and RECEIVE all the blessings that you crave.
YES! all you have to do to live in orgasm every day and in every moment is to become conscious and choose differently.
You must choose the higher ground which is the ground of not accepting a small life. Not accepting AVERAGE and ORDINARY. Not accepting what the evils of the world would have you believe is living.
You were born for GREATNESS.
You were born for a PURPOSE.
You were born to have DESIRE.
Your were born to ASK.
You were born to SEEK.
You were born to KNOCK.
YOU WERE BORN TO RECEIVE!!!!!
But there is ONE caveat to this, you must BELIEVE it.
All the desire and want in the world without belief that you can have it, deserve it and that it is your birth right to CLAIM THIS LIFE you were meant for will only lead to the pain of not getting it.
You cannot just say that you believe it either. You must take action, hold strong when times get dim, surrender deeper into your FAITH when you find yourself in the arms of fear. You must shine a bright light on the enemy of doubt and command it to walk away from your presence. You must turn yourself over to the process of receiving, because anytime we ask WE ARE HEARD, and the answers will bring forth great changes in our lives.
Asking God to grant our desires is the surrender that God desires from us. It is our humbleness to say, ” I cannot achieve this on my own, I need your hand to move this mountain, “ that captures the eye of the divine and gets the ball moving. DOUBT in it happening or if we have been heard only muffles the request and makes the journey of receiving more difficult.
The doorway to our FREEDOM is in our LETTING GO.
Once we let go, we fully surrender and receive. In this state of knowing we become the co-creators of our lives and the benefactors of the blessings that we never knew existed.
YOU MUST LET GO.
And fall into the flow of your living through heavens eyes.
This does not mean to just let life take you. NO! Those who just let life take them are guilty of denying their desires and not asking.
Letting go, is surrender to your desires through the hands of God.
STOP buying into the BULLSHIT of the societal norm.
STOP allowing someone else’s beliefs to be your own.
STOP trying to control the outcome of every aspect ( You have no ability to see your life from heavens eyes)
STOP resisting that inner calling and voice.
STOP doubting God.
START Living a life of freedom.
START being in who you really are.
START looking for the miracles ( they are everywhere)
START living in gratitude.
START finding a reason to smile.
START loving who you are.
START embracing your power as a co-creator.
START letting go in faith.
Make 2018 a year of you being different. Make 2018 a year where you not just talk about living the life that you desire, but actually open yourself to receiving it. Just the asking for it makes the whole world rearrange itself JUST FOR YOU. So don’t waist the energy of God by doubting.
You are worthy of the blessing!