Birth Control, Turn On, Surrender and The Truth on Female Sex

He asked if I would get on birth control for him.

We were really clicking.
The conversations,
the touch,
his kiss.
OMFG! it was hot and I wanted him so badly.
I wanted to move forward and I wanted to explore the sex.
But I did not want any more children.
I had five children already and I was not interested in having any more at this point,
especially not risking it this early in the game of a new relationship.
Plus, even though something inside of me truly trusted that this man was clean,
I knew that you just never know,
and disease is a serious thing.

Weeks went by and the desire for each other grew as the days passed. Finally I decided that I trusted him enough to go bare with him in sex and that I “should” just make sure that no babies came from this,
so I went and got myself on the pill.

I had not been on birth control for the last 5 plus years, my system was clear of anything of the sort and I was feeling good. I felt emotionally stable after having one of the lowest points in my life in a deep dive into depression prior to getting off of birth control. My body was strong and I felt great in my skin. My health was awesome.

What could go wrong?

I wanted this man.
I wanted this sex,
this expereince.
The intimacy of bare sex.

And so why not make sure to guard us against the one thing that I knew we did not want.

A child.

I got on the pill.
Everything seemed normal enough for a few months.
No big red flags waving.
My moods were normal, nothing too rocky.
No weight gain or fatigue.

But then I crossed over the 90 day mark.
Then I felt weepy.
Sad.
Depression was setting in again.
Weight started to slowly come on,
just a few poundss but I noticed it.
And my desire for sex,
the reason I had decided to start taking birth control again anyway,
yeah the desire for it was dwindling.
I was feeling each day more lost in who I was.
I felt the mask I had worked so hard at letting go of,
being picked back up again.
Now instead of laughing authentically and enjoying my life,
I found myself working ever so hard just to maintain composture and not get mad or cry for no reason.

My emotions were out of control.
I felt like I had time lapsed back a decade and I could not figure out what was happening or why.
Never did I think it was the birth control.

Months went by.
My sex dried up.
I was no longer the woman that he met,
and I also found myself to not be attracted to him any longer.
It was like we were completely different people,
and I for one was for sure.

The once beautiful possibility of a lovely relationship came to an end and I found myself bouncing around with a few other quick flings,
searching for the woman that I had lost somewhere along the line and wondereing why I was attracting these men that I really did not care for but seemed drawn too.

And then,
then I stoped taking the birth control.
I committed to my health and well being and I decided that if I were involved with someone sexually that I could just use a condom and not rely on this hormone imbalancer.
Not long there after I went in for my pap-smear and was told of cells on my cervix that were irregular.
The doctor let me know her concern of what this could mean.
I did some deep detoxing and investigating on what I could do to naturally irradicate these irregular cells.
I discovered that there was ton’s of studies done on birth control and the links to different types of cancer and cell mutation.

In my research I found out that it took up to 2-years to clear your system of birth control. To my plesent surprise I I was blessed with a clean bill of health again after crossing over the two year mark from taking the pill.
PLUS, guess who was back in her own flesh.
Emotionally stable again.
Focused.
Healthy weight.
And turned on,
plus able to have good orgasms again.
Yes! I was back.

And for the first time in my adult years I had fully digested the connection between how delicate my hormones were and how easily they could be set off,
causing massive issues from depression and lack of desire, to actual cancer.

PLUS, I discovered the science showing how birth control can and does change who we are attacked too. Explaining why so often we find ourselves with someone that we typically would not be attracted too without the extra hormones in our system.

And my question came,
“Why would a man who loves a woman ever desire to put her into this situation just so he did not have to wear a condom?”

“Why woudl a woman take this sort of risk with her health?”

“Why would we willingly put something in our bodies that could change who we are attacted too and expect it not to make that big of a difference in our relationship success?”

and finally….

“Why is this never spoken of? Not made public knowledge when the facts are out there and not that hard to discover?”

The answer is simple,
We just don’t know.
We have not been informed.
And we have been focused on population not on health.
An educated person will gaurd against having unwanted children and at the same time will want what is best for their own health and well being as well as their partners, as well as wanting to be attracted to people that are a match for them verses the opposite.

But the education is not there.
And the desiree to inquire,
to seek out the truth is spoken of often but hardly ever followed.

Today I ask you to STOP the insanity of living blind in your sex and relationships and to actually inquire, witness and do your work or learning yourself, and knowing what is good for you as well as those you merge with.

This is maturity.

As Always Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers’

Message me for deets on 1:1 coaching and education today.

 

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THIS is How You Get Your Woman to Want Your SEX!

“Baby you know I want you to love me! All I want is for you to tell me how you will do this! So I can think of you loving me! Don’t you want me to think about you constantly loving me? to keep me so horny for you?”
 
It’s laughable is it not?
 
Yet THIS is how so many unconscious men believe that women want to be spoken too.
 
THIS is how so many men believe women want to be related too.
 
THIS is how so many unconscious men believe INTIMACY to be.
 
But it’s NOT!
 
Over and over again I witness in different ways,
from messages and emails, texts and actual conversations.
 
From people in my practice who are clients to people who want to be clients.
 
From the lovers in my life,
current and past.
 
I witness from men the concept that women have the same turn on switches as men.
 
The reality is that 90% of the time THIS could not be further from the truth.
And when men approach women in the way men get turned on,
touching us the way they think we want to be touched,
which typically only provides them with pleasure,
speaking about intimacy, sex, relationship, connection in the way that turns them on but never slowing the eff down enough to inquire what makes us happy, aroused, ignited…
 
THEY TURN US THE F-CK OFF!
 
Not On.
 
Statements such as the one above are not about:
connection
intimacy
igniting the woman
learning her
sharing
or even viewing her as human.
 
These statements are about:
“What can she do for me?”
“How can she turn me on?”
“How can she pleasure me?”
 
It is a statement of USE.
And turns your woman or the woman you are speaking too into a masturbation tool.
 
NOTHING More.
 
If we aim to turn a potential partner or our partner on,
if we aim to arouse someone,
then we MUST learn how to relate to them.
 
Now men get turned on by visual stimulation,
men get turned on by mental stimulation, fantasy.
Men get turned on by sexy talk.
Men want to witness the act,
and they want this because sex happens outside their body.
It is happening on the outside layer of them not internally.
They get ignited sexually first.
The heart and emotions come second,
and when the sex diminishes so does the heart.
 
Women on the flip side,
get turned on by feeling adored,
feeling safe, feeling like her partner is into her,
appreciating her for her thoughts,
her views and ideas,
women get aroused by sensual touch or compassionate touch,
women feel connected when their partner inquires about her day and life AND LISTENS to her response instead of the football game.
Women need to actually LIKE their mate and feel their heart/emotions.
When a woman is opened up in her heart,
her sex opens with it.
When her heart closes,
her sex follows.
And she DOES NOT FEEL YOU any more.
 
So if you really want to ignite your woman,
or any woman for that matter,
heed this message.
 
And penetrate her heart first.
be a good guy that is compassionate and INTO her as a HUMAN BEING,
inquire about her likes, dislikes,
her day and views.
Get into the FEELS with her by sharing how you actually view things, feel about different stuff and show her that you are HUMAN too.
STOP touching her for your arousal and start asking her how she wants to be touched.
 
Learn your woman.
Not by insisting that she relate to sex, relationship and intimacy the way you do,
but instead by honoring the beautiful feminine that she is.
Which is FEELING.
Which is HEART CENTERED.
 
And then look out,
because once you open her heart to you,
(if she is into you like that, which you have no f-cking actual control over BTW)
then she will ROCK YOU sexually as well.
 
Or keep relating the way you have been,
and wonder why women are moody,
shut down,
on edge,
and walk away from you.
 
Your choice.
 
I suggest being a CONSCIOUS MAN.
 
Because Average and Ordinary ain’t no fun.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Working with couples and singles on have a F-ck Yes! sex and intimacy life is a passion of mine. I believe that YOU are worthy of that and more. Message me for deet’s on how I help you create a kick a*s love and financial life today. I work with people globally.
https://www.tantrictransformation.com/micro-consult/

WHY I DO SEX DAILY.

WHY I DO SEX DAILY….
 
I have sex almost daily.
It’s just my THING.
I do sex daily yes because I love sex,
but more so for what sex gives me.
And I am not referring to the mind blowing orgasms that only happen here and there.
 
Okay so it’s truth time folks,
yes ME,
the sex expert and coach that helps thousands of people have better and more sex DOES NOT have mind blowing, earth shaking orgasm daily.
Actually most days, its pretty meh…
The sex is just normal,
and even boring at times.
But I still do sex almost daily,
and some days if the opportunity presents itself two or three times.
 
Just a week ago I spent about 7 hours out of 24 having sex.
Now that was yummy.
But why was it yummy?
Why did I want to have 7 hours of sex?
or have it daily, especially if I am not having mind blowing sex or even an orgasm most of the time?
 
The simple truth is that SEX ignites my creative juices.
Sex allows me a medative state, no matter the outcome to work on embodying myself,
sex allows me practice time to get out of my head and FEEL myself at a deep level.
I get to practice letting go,
I get to practice vulnerability,
I get to practice surrender,
I get to see where I am challenged and through the rhythm of my sex,
the consistent allowance of letting myself feel and stepping away from the idea of cumming,
but just BEING instead,
I get to connect to my CORE and thus feel my partner at a deeper level.
 
I have discovered through the years,
that our SEX is linked to so many things.
Self-confidence,
self-love,
boundaries,
ability to receive and give,
thinking patterns,
fear,
DESIRE,
passion,
VITALITY,
a feeling of freedom,
a feeling of peace,
centeredness,
physical well-being,
mental well-being,
and expanded spiritual depth.
 
To just name a few.
Yet we are taught to shame our sex,
to hide from it,
to ignore it,
to STARVE IT.
We are taught that our sex is evil.
And that it should only be used to make babies, or relieve stress QUICKLY.
 
And this way of thinking about our sex,
has us shut down,
fearful,
and not having sex.
It has us feeling disconnected from life, ourselves and the people we love.
It has us feeling insecure and angry,
depressed and lost.
And it has us trying to achieve what we have a void in through any means possible.
It has us acting out and traumatizing ourselves and others.
 
Instead of loving ourselves,
being responsible,
compassionate,
mature people,
we are like caged, starving, beaten wild animals.
This is what our world has become when we DO SEX.
And it’s all because we have such a limited, repressed view and understanding of this beautiful gift from God.
 
Sex and finances are the top two reasons marriages break up.
Sex actually out weights money,
because when the sex is crap,
when the sex is disconnected and toxic,
when sex is just about the get off,
then you have a partner being used and abused.
You have trauma setting in and the relationship is TOXIC.
No amount of money can heal that.
That is all about embodiment.
That is all about connection.
 
And you can ONLY CONNECT to your partner if you know how to connect to yourself first.
 
THAT IS WHY I DO SEX DAILY.
 
The consistent practice of leaning more into ME.
 
How does your sex feel to you?
Connected and deep?
Expansive and full?
or shallow, empty and about the release?
 
Want to learn how you have beautiful sexing all the time and access these states of peace, joy and connection.
Enjoy intimacy no matter what is going on in your life?
Reach out to me for information on my 1:1 coaching available globally today.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

This Is Why Your Woman Will Not Pursue You.

Can you imagine starving?
Can you imagine what it must be like to be so hungry and not have food available,
or to not be able to consume the food that is there close to you?
Now I have been hungry before,
there are actually many days that happen where I almost forget about eating. I get so caught up in what I am doing and who I am working with or enjoying,
that food does not cross my mind.
My body though is still hungry.
I might occasionally feel the pains and grumblings of my hunger,
but unless I focus in on it, I can resist it and carry on about what I am doing.
Over time though, my blood sugar get’s low.
My head starts to pound.
I get moody, feel light headed and tired.
I can’t keep focused.
And funny enough, in moments like this, the last thing on my mind is eating.
Instead I wonder about, wondering what’s wrong with me?
Because in the not eating, I forget about food.
 
It never fails though in these moments.
Someone comes along, with something that awakens me to my hunger.
 
I am sure you have had this experience.
You are hungry.
You get side tracked.
You get more hungry.
You ignore the hunger pain.
You dull your senses.
You feel off.
AND THEN……
you smell a burger and fries.
 
Yes, it’s that moment.
You can maybe even smell that burger and fries right now.
You pass that restaurant and you smell it.
 
YUM!!!!!
Your body ignites.
Your stomach yells at you.
Your gut gurgles and says, STOP.
EAT.
 
Okay,
so you can understand this right?
 
Now imagine these two scenarios.
 
1) You are hungry like this. Starving. You catch a whiff of something yummy. Someone walks by you with that burger or steak. You follow them. You smell its juiciness. You can taste it almost. You are so hungry all you desire is a bite. You wish to just taste it. And they look at you and say, “No – my food!”
What are you feeling? What do you do?
 
2) You are hungry like this. Starving. You smell that burger and you decide to run through the drive trough. You order it plus the fries and a soda. You inhale it without thought because of your level of hunger. It’s a piss poor quality burger. It lands in your gut like cement. You feel sick. You feel even worse than before you ate it. You know how bad it was for you and you start to overthink your haste. Now you are upset with yourself for doing what you know you should not have done. You should have waited and taken better care of yourself but the hunger was REAL. What are you feeling? What do you do?
 
In either of these situations,
you are not being fed.
You are not being fulfilled.
There is no real satisfaction.
You just get frustrated.
Irritated.
And want for more, but find yourself KNOWING that what you want is not what you got.
 
Many people when they make poor food choices that make them feel yucky, commit in that moment to not do it again. Or at least not do it to soon again.
 
Many people who are hungry like this, do not choose then to hunt down all the fast food that makes them feel less than good.
 
Many people when they see a link to something causing them issues, choose to either avoid it, or limit their exposure to it.
 
Right?
That seems normal and within logical reason, wouldn’t you agree?
 
Well, here is the thing love.
This tale of starving. Of fast food.
It is actually not about food at all.
It is about satisfaction. Desire. or lack there of.
It is about STARVING.
 
But what I speak of here is the starving of good sex.
The starving of gourmet fulfillment.
I speak here what almost every woman would agree upon if they were raw and real about it.
 
That they are STARVING.
Hungry for something that they hardly get.
 
Can you imagine that 75-80% of the time that you have sex that you do not feel good from it?
That you actually feel yucky.
 
Can you imagine that you feel 75-80% of the time like it was a waist of time, energy and you feel disconnected and more empty then before you went into the situation?
 
Can you imagine that 75-80% of the time that you had sex that you did not enjoy it, have an orgasm?
 
All of this and more is accurate when we truly look into female sexual experience.
 
Gentlemen,
You get fed every time you eat.
You eat what you want and you like it most of the time, because shiz,
it’s food and who does not like food.
 
Well us ladies,
75-80% of the time we eat,
we feel sick from it. And we are not really eating,
we are just getting that whiff of the food.
So who wants to sit in their hunger and just catch a whiff at best 75-80% of the time?
 
Who in their right mind would desire,
pursue, look for or even be excited in the least to have that experience?
 
Not too many people I am guessing.
Yet, our partners ( and I say this as a woman who has had a partner want me to desire just this that I speak on plus the hundreds of couple’s that I have worked with over time who have the male partner wanting to be pursued, desired and frustrated with the woman on not doing so)….
 
Our partners, want us to want this for ourselves.
And they wonder why…
why we women shut down.
Why the sex turns from hot to Anniversary, birthday and Christmas sex.
They wonder what is wrong with their female partner to not want such a wonderful, connective, fulfilling thing such as sexual intimacy.
 
And I tell you in my rawest truth here,
THIS IS ONE MAJOR CONTRIBUTING FACTOR.
 
So what is the answer?
How can you fix her issues?
How can you make sure that she get’s fed?
 
 
These are the questions that are asked in couple-hood.
 
First, it is a two way street.
Both parties need to work on it individually and together, communication MUST happen. Things must change in order to get the results desired.
 
Second, You cannot fix her. She is not broken. And she is not a toy for your fixing Mr. Fix It. So effing STOP! You can however become a better lover. You can gain presence, compassion. You can inquire with skill. You can slow the F-ck down. You can actually want her to enjoy and there fore not get irritated and bored with the time she needs to take. You can do your own internal work, emotionally and mentally.
 
Third, you can do the above two.
And of course, if you need more help.
You still don’t know what to do,
to change.
You can seek outside help.
Like mine, ( Yes my shameless plug there…. but it’s true, you have been doing what you have been doing and you have been blind to what is happening until this moment or you have been really good at ignoring it all and hoping that it would just fix itself. That has not worked though. So… insert my shameless plug again please.)
 
And here are the facts,
sex is important. No matter how we try to discredit it.
Sex and money are the two major factors in relationship breakup and happiness.
 
Many people think they have a successful relationship because they look at the longevity of that relationship. The years spent together.
 
However, the truth is that relationship success is not about the years together,
it’s about the joy. The happiness. The over all feeling that the relationship leaves you with.
 
And most relationships under this mindset of success are far from successful.
 
So I ask you today,
are you content having and providing a fast food sex life at best to your relationship? The person you love and cherish?
 
Or is it time that you discover how to truly feed her?
 
Yes the gourmet variety.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
‘Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for deet’s on my 1:1 global coaching opportunities and more.
 
You deserve a deeply connective, turned on bedroom life and more.

Dropping the Orgasmic Ball Makes You an A-Hole (Guest Post Addison Bell)

I got dropped.
Again and again.
Over and over.

In the mental health and spiritual community, we are taught to focus in on the fact that we are responsible for ourselves and also that we are the most important person in our lives.

The notion that we must take care of self first and foremost and that we can not control another person’s feelings.

All very true teachings.

Yet, like much of life… it’s not always clear cut.

Today I sit here wrestling with my ego.

Because although we are the center of our own universe and must take care of ourselves. There are also times as humans where I believe we DO take second fiddle and time where we ARE responsible to a certain level for someone.

In truth, there are times where we lend our trust to another and have an agreement that we won’t get dropped. There is a consent put into place that if someone steps into a certain level of vulnerability, trust, and openness that we will be held.

If you are asking for vulnerability… then you should be able and willing to hold the other person’s vulnerability.

If you are asking for someone to step into trust… then you should be willing to stand steady to hold their deepening.

If you want your partner to truly surrender in sex and fully open to their next level orgasmic energy then you ARE offering SPACE… and you are therefore responsible for holding that space if they allow that surrender. The time, the emotion, the energy, etc.

And so you DO hold a level of responsibility for that other human.
Does that take away their responsibility for self???
Of course not.
We are still responsible ultimately, as adults, for ourselves but from a base level of not being self-centered as*holes…

It is important that we hold ourselves responsible for situations in which we are stepping into.

And therefore, there are times in our lives when we are NOT the most important person. There are times when despite us being in emotion that we must learn impulse control and learn to breathe into our feelings. There are times when it is appropriate to put others needs before our own.

I know that many will say… “You’re the most important person in your life and it’s okay to be selfish”.

And I agree with this most of the time.
We live in a society where we don’t know how to truly take care of self and where we often try to be people pleasers. On a daily basis, this is not healthy and will drain us consistently.

Being focused on taking care of self is perfectly beautiful.

Though the issue happens when we are only self-focused to the detriment of others needs and consent.

This is particularly true in our sex… and where my personal focus on this topic seems to be today.

When your woman (or man) opens up, when you have asked them either verbally or non-verbally to step to that deeper level of surrender.

Then you are a straight-up A**hole if you drop them!

This past weekend, I did a bi-annual Summer Orgasm Camp. It is my favorite workshop because of the different things that get brought up and the healing I see happening at the event.

The conversation ventures everywhere from energy, to shame, to tantric practices, to good old straight sex education that is missing.

But for this particular workshop, I am blessed to not just teach but also to be the model.

I got deep… I got vulnerable… I opened…
And I got my ass dropped no less than 6 times.
My orgasm got dropped
My boundaries got dropped
My deep-hearted requests

A moment where I, yes I, am the most important person in the room barring a MAJOR emergency.

Most of these drops were unintentional or unavoidable.
Welcome to putting on my big-girl panties!!!

Everyone is there at the event in a learning process.
I actually go in knowing that I will get dropped a few times… particularly in the orgasmic energy realm.

And it is a beautiful experience for me to work on taking care of myself energetically and asking for what I need.

Though there was a pivitol moment for me at the workshop that truly shows where we constantly drop people in sex, in relationship, and in life.

And more importantly, shows an example of when someone else’s needs come before our own.

At the event.
After the demo and lab are totally complete (and therefore the workshop), there is an aftercare process of bringing me back into my body and grounding me energetically that is an agreed-upon process with my co-teacher.

Giving me a few moments where I get to breathe… share any emotions coming up after being touched by many random strangers…and also to make sure I am physically doing alright.

This time I was feeling unusually ungrounded and dizzy from the energy. I was also experiencing a variety of emotions and had some physical issues arising as a result.

The pivitol moment happened the moment I sat up and a gentleman came up asking questions and continued to pull her away from me.

My co-teacher shared no less than three times that she needed to focus on supporting me and she would be happy to answer these at another time.

I overheard him state several times that he was needing to talk…
DEMANDING with his words and actions her attention.
DEMANDING that she refocus from me to him.
AND FORCING HER physically to leave my side.
NOT respecting boundaries she continued to state
NOT respecting my process after being vulnerable with him and the rest of the class

This is a beautiful example and a mirror for what we often do in the bedroom and life.

Not being present enough and confident in our own ability to hold our emotions that we vicariously walk over others and also in that lack of presence we DROP the other people in the situation.

Whether we realize it or not we send out self-centered vibes
A selfish person would have gone and taken care of self.
Would have asked if the other person was available and if they were not available would then find another tool in the self-care toolbox to manage.

Sometimes others needs do trump ours in certain moments.
This does not mean that our needs don’t matter!
Of course, our needs matter!
This just means that there are priorities in life and sometimes we can’t be the priority.

Sometimes the priority is in learning to hold ourselves
Sometimes the priority is in waiting until we can have true focused attention

Because I know for a fact that the gentleman this weekend did not get my co-teachers full attention and presence.

And in fact, becomes a “using” energy.
The orgasmic energy was used and appreciated and needed for the learning and then easily thrown away when it no longer was serving him.

And we all have done this at some point.

We are human and so therefore constantly dropping each other consciously and unconsciously.

Where could you be dropping the energy and stepping out of selfish energy and into self-centeredness today?

Love, Light, & Blessings,
Addison

www.addisonbell.net

Breathe In Your Orgasm

It’s light hearted,
its shame removing,
it’s triggering as F-ck!
It’s connected and compassionate.
It’s educational and real AF.
It’s how I coach.
 
Yesterday, I was privileged to teach my 9th annual Orgasm Camp. Yes, I just said that ORGASM CAMP.😱
 
We had a packed room as always,
with so many new faces and fresh minds to share with.
It was beautiful to see those who have attended other events or worked with me in some fashion participating in the raw, authentic truth tales around ORGASM.
 
Female Orgasm.
And as usual there were those who could sit in the feeling of orgasm, and all that it means,
and those who could not.
 
What do I mean by sitting in the feeling of orgasm?
 
Orgasm is heightened sensation in the physical body,
it blends into waves of emotion and feelings then arise from that space as well.
It is electrical charges from our brain center that triggers different responses in our bodies, minds and “hearts”.
 
How this translates to yesterdays event….
and to YOU right now.
 
SO in Orgasm Camp,
as sexy as it may sound,
we have a seminar where my co-teacher and I verbally teach about female orgasm and S-E-X. We discuss the mental, emotional and physical aspects of the female sexual body.
Then we take a break and the model get’s ready.
The model then gets undressed and get’s on a table naked…..
 
OMFG! Yes there is a naked woman on a table at Orgasm Camp.
 
Can you feel the energy already?
The triggers going off?
The shame kicking in,
the judgement.
The fear.
The ego.
The desire.
The butterflies.
 
You may be thinking,
“Oh, hell no. I would not got to anything like that.”
 
And you may not.
Many people feel this way,
yet sex,
our intimate bedroom life is one of the main contributors to our happiness,
our confidence,
our body image,
our desire,
our feeling good,
and it plays a significant role in relationship success and happiness.
 
And the majority of people are shut down right HERE.
 
So the model get’s on the table naked,
and then I the teacher, demonstrates some basic tantric and quantum touch techniques on how to activate the body centers and help drop someone down out of the mind space where they can actually embody themselves and FEEL.
 
Little known secret about women’s sex… ( totally being sarcastic right now)🤣😂😛
 
Women need to get out of their head to be able to feel desire,
to be able to open up to sex,
to be turned on.
To want to go there and do it at all,
otherwise they are disconnected and it’s just “duty” based.
 
So I show in class the basics of sensual touch.
I show different touch techniques,
Show different toys,
and skills.
Then we move into revealing the secrets of the clitoris and the g-spot.
And the model…
well she get’s into orgasmic waves.
The real deal waves,
not some Harry met Sally moment waves.
And she show’s ORGASM.
The physical real world changes that occur.
The energetic changes that happen.
And so much more.
 
Now the students,
they sit and witness all of this happening.
They sit and breathe in the energy,
the feeling,
the ORGASM that is moving through the room.
And they feel what they feel in themselves.
 
Often, there is a great number who cannot witness this and choose to leave,
or to go to the restroom.
They tap their toes,
fold their arms and look about the room nervously.
They giggle,
and make under their breath comments,
the do whatever they need to release the energy that they feel coming up in them that they are uncomfortable with.
And they reduce their presence level in the space.
They hide.
They hide form their feelings by side tracking themselves with something.
 
This is a normal, human response to coping with something that is triggering.
We do it in many area’s of our life,
in all relationship,
and we do it to protect ourselves from that which we fear,
and that can potentially go against the grains of what we call our beliefs, our comfort, our understanding.
 
However, when we do this what we do is steal a beautiful opportunity from ourselves to witness our shadow lands,
to expand our knowledge and selves.
We step away from personal expansion and we choose in this moment to shut down to our own growth.
 
I recently read a statement from a a fellow coach/teacher that said,
 
“People will do just about anything to be happy,
except change.”
 
So true this statement is.
And we are all guilty as some level.
 
But when we choose to sit in this energy.
In this feeling,
when we choose to breathe it in and witness our shadow’s and expand them out into the light of revealing our truth,
we GROW.
 
We become more authentic.
And we discover our truth which always leads us to HAPPINESS.
 
Today I ask you to explore what triggers you.
Sit with the feelings that make you uncomfortable,
notice when you want to giggle or laugh,
when you choose to be sarcastic or opinionated,
when you fidget and hide.
 
Ask yourself,
“What am I hiding myself from? What am I fearful of seeing within?”
 
Ask yourself to go deeper into your own realms and DISCOVER a new layer of your truth.
 
Because under your shadows in is your light.
And your POWER.
 
Breathe it in Baby.
You are worthy of who you are.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
Live ORGASMICALLY today and be happy in who you are.
 
Reach out to me for deet’s on 1:1 private coaching to tap you into your true power and truth now.
 
You are worthy

Do You Know Your Pleasure Threshold?

Do you know what your pleasure threshold is?
 
For years I had no clue what that even meant.
I did not think of life, let alone my goals in terms of pleasure.
I mean you live,
you struggle,
you captivate a few precious moments,
you love,
you loose,
and you put your head down and do what you need to do.
 
That is how I was raised.
I was raised to believe that you must put EVERYTHING in front of yourself,
and for sure not focus on what felt good or turned you on.
That way of living was for whores, addicts and the not so responsible people who were selfish and immature.
 
Fast forward through a 20 year marriage,
the loss of houses, jobs and a bunch of debt,
the raising of at that time five children,
then a divorce,
a new relationship plus two more babies plus a bunch of other struggles and more stress,
and you find me believing another way.
 
That idea of pleasure is something now that I realize is a more accurate way of living and it is what God actually intended for us to live in.
 
Not the saga of suffering and loss.
Not the not having of our dreams and desires.
 
When we study the quantum field,
we learn that life moves with ease.
It is about getting into the flow of life,
the flow of soul.
And we do this with this thing called pleasure.
When we are allowing ourselves to receive pleasure we increase our vibration and we open up to the potential of miracles.
 
You have to realize that what you want, wants you too.
But it will not change it’s vibration to get you.
That is what your work is.
To increase your vibration and allow life to serve up your dreams to you.
AKA SOUL GOALS.
 
Think about it…
 
When you feel passionate about something,
when you feel those butterflies in your tummy,
when you feel turned on by something,
you are craving it.
But what are you actually craving?
 
Is it, it or is it the pleasure that it provides you?
 
It’s the pleasure baby.
You want whatever you want for how it makes you feel.
The feeling of something is the ONLY reason we go after it.
 
And what we are wanting is happiness.
Connection. Love. Intimacy. Joy.
 
All of these things equal pleasure.
It’s a different sort of pleasure though,
its SOUL based.
 
It comes from our SOUL not from the EGO.
The ego wants to experience pleasure to hide us from our truth and power.
The ego wants to enjoy pleasure to mask our short falls instead of focus us on our path.
The ego uses negative forms,
very 2D-3D forms of pleasure to derail us from success.
 
But why would the ego do this you may wonder?
 
Ego is trying to protect us.
It does have a purpose.
And that is a purpose of protection,
it is fear based.
And anything that is based in fear is not from the SOUL,
and not from God/Universe.
It is out of flow and it is a low vibration.
 
The ego does what it does because it fears change.
Change means transformation.
Change means expansion.
Change means growth.
And change can mean increased vibration.
 
But as your vibration grow’s so does your determination to remain in this thing called flow.
 
Because is FEELS SO DAMN GOOD.
And miracles happen here.
 
You think about something,
you feel how good it is,
you focus in on gratitude for being already in the flow that you are and BAM! you are given more to support that feeling.
 
But here is the thing that YOU MUST understand BABY.
 
And I want you to really pay attention to this.
 
Your goals can only manifest up to your pleasure threshold.
 
So if you are not yet manifesting like MOFO BOSS,
then look at how much pleasure you are allowing into your life experience.
 
Look at where you are denying yourself the simple joys,
where are you holding yourself back by continuing to buy into the bullsh*t concept that you are to suffer for a time frame in order to achieve your dreams.
 
You will be required to step the f-ck out of your comfort zone.
You will be required to make changes.
To transform and level up.
You will be required to break old habits and beliefs.
You will never be able to achieve that desired life you want in the same old shoes you have been walking this path so far.
 
And that will most likely scare the sh*t out of you BABY.
It may even feel too difficult.
It may even feel bad at points,
and you may “think” that is its painful to make these changes and build these muscles.
 
But if you don’t do the inner training,
if you don’t look into those shadows of self,
if you don’t learn to level up and get into flow,
then you cannot have what you want with ease.
 
You will STRUGGLE or you will SETTLE.
 
Either way it will not be in PLEASURE.
And that threshold will hold right where it is or even shrink.
 
The choice though is always yours.
I know that you are worthy of your dreams and living a high vibe pleasure threshold.
 
God does not make unworthy things.
and YOU BABY, are WORTHY.
 
Level Up Your Pleasure Threshold – Level Up Your Life.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 

Ageing Backward, Is That A Thing?

Some day’s I feel beautiful.
Someday’s I feel youthful.
Someday’s I feel vibrant.
And those someday’s are most day’s,
these day’s.
 
They say age is just a number.
They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
They say that wrinkles show character and wisdom.
They say a lot, don’t they…
whoever they are.
 
But what about aging backward?
Is it possible?
 
I believe it is.
 
I believe it because most day’s I live it.
Most day’s I glow,
I feel all the above.
Granted you could say it is because I am obsessive about skin care,
and this I am.
However, there is so much more to it.
 
Glowing youthfulness comes from being turned on to life.
Vibrancy comes from letting the universe f-ck you wide open.
Beauty comes from loving yourself.
 
Good orgasm,
plays a massive role too.
And I mean orgasm,
not just sex.
There are plenty of times in life where sex can drain your ass instead of give you an afterglow,
and the afterglow only comes from being filled up with all those yummie chemicals that ONLY orgasm can provide most effectively.
 
But on top of that,
youthful skin, appearance and radiance comes from being a tad bit selfish and making space for self-care practices.
It also comes from not polluting your mind with draining negative stinking thinking.
 
You can do all the right things with diet.
You can do all the right things with skin care.
If you’re mindset is wrong,
if you are not overflowing with orgasmic energy,
if you are not taking daily TLC time for you,
and most importantly,
if you are not living in your JOY.
 
Then guess what beautiful?
You will age.
and age quickly.
No matter what the years are for you,
your glow tells the truth of your state of being.
Of your VIBE.
 
Are you blah?
Are you pale?
Are you dried out?
Are you squinting and making angry faces,
when you are “not thinking about anything?”
 
What does your energy toward life say about your vibrance?
 
Are you ready to JUMP UP,
get a start on life and the day?
 
or are you a grumpy little dwarf?
 
Okay Beautiful,
you don’t have to wither away.
No one wishes this for you,
least of all God or your soul.
 
But when you look in the mirror,
when you truly stop and look,
look into your eye’s and feel your heart.
What does your soul have to say?
Is she happy?
 
Want to really get a clear answer?
cup your pussy with one hand,
and place your hand on your heart with the other.
Now look yourself in the eye.
Feel.
 
F-E-E-L into your body.
Feel past your body.
Tap into SOUL Baby.
 
What does she say?
Is she happy?
Is she turned on?
Is she ignited?
In love?
orgasmic?
 
Want to age backward without botox or surgery?
The answer is SOUL.
 
Soul Alignment.
 
That’s right sistar!
Your soul want’s you to take the plunge into her,
your soul desires to embody you,
she wants you to look in the mirror and truly feel your authentic self.
She wants you to stop caring what everyone else thinks,
or what you perceive they are thinking.
She wants you to claim your mother f-cking life as the badass bitch that you are and stop being the people pleasing pussy that you pretend to be.
 
You are worthing BABY!
It is high effing time that you just accept who you are,
who you were born to be,
and take that step into your greatness.
 
Afterall, you’re not getting any younger.
Or are you?
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
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How Eating Pussy After You Cum Builds Intimacy.

He came hard and strong.
He came deep and long.
He vibrated my whole body with his orgasm and carried me deeper into my own.
My pussy twitched, squeezed and swallowed him up with her orgasmic sucking of his cum.
My heart raced,
as he pushed deeper,
pressing up against my cervix,
opening her,
quivers, convulsions, followed by moans.
The wetness intensified,
and he softened.
Still stroking,
allowing me to ride my own orgasmic wave,
as his cock relaxed within my warm embrace.
Together we breathe deep.
Hearts racing.
We kiss.
Without notice he moves in hast downward,
devouring me with his mouth.
Spreading open my legs,
his lips,
his tongue,
sucking, kissing and enjoying the cocktail of our juices together that flow from my flesh.
My pussy ignites at the comfort that he enjoys this with.
Teasing my clit,
nursing softly on her even,
as he penetrates my pussy with his fingers and licks her soft lips.
For a moment, my mind wonders,
panics even,
in fear that he will not be okay with our blended juices,
and will step away from me, leave me here on the verge of vulnerability.
Here where my body is opening and craving more.
But then I find myself in gratitude,
in love even with his confidence,
his comfort in himself,
as a man,
in our sex,
and with my body.
He does not stray away from the moment,
but instead hungers toward it.
His strength in his own acceptance is powerful,
is beautiful and refreshing.
He heals my soul and my sex at a deeper level in this moment without even realizing it.
The lesson he shares with me is to love yourself.
Accept yourself.
And with this acceptance of self,
others too will embrace and accept you at a deeper level.

Yes.
Yes.
Here is what we crave as humans.
Here is what we all want.
Acceptance.
Connection.
To be able to be raw, real and ourselves.
And to be embraced this way.

But how do we truly achieve acceptance in life,
with other human beings?
With our lovers?

We do it by accepting ourselves.
We do it by embracing ourselves.
We do it by being real and raw with who we are.
And learning to love our flaws,
our humanness.
We do it by being turned on to connection.

I hear from many people,
“I want depth in a realtionship.”
” I don’t want sex to just be friction. I want to be felt, seen and to really feel and see my partner”
” I want to feel love and connection.”
” I just wish I could be accepted for who I am.”

You will never have these things.
IF – You are not first accepting yourself.
and
IF – you are not truly turned on to connection.

What do I mean by turned on to connection?
Turned on to connection means that you need to actually appreciate, accept and even enjoy other human beings.
You need to WANT to connect.
Not just say that you want it and then turn around and bitch about it.
Or claim that you hate people.
If you hate people,
then how do you ever expect to have any of the above things?
If you hate people, then you more than likely are highly judgmental of people and thus of yourself,
which leads us back to self acceptance.

And if you cannot accept yourself fully,
then you will never be able to accept another.

Which will leave a feeling with others that you are judging them.
Because you are.

In our sex,
we are most critical,
judgmental,
and fearful of our humanness.
We fear that which we desire the most.
because it shows our humanness.
Our flaws.

My share above about an experience with a lover is one that I bring up because I have experienced the direct opposite as well.

Years ago, I had a lover that turned me on in so many amazing ways,
his scent,
his flavor,
his kiss,
his smile,
his voice,
his personality,
his body.

All were yummie as f-ck.
I could devour the man for hours if he would let me.
But then would come the moment where I might take him in my mouth and enjoy giving him pleasure. Afterward, my desire to be snuggled and kissed were high and I would lean into these, he on the reverse side would lean away.

Avoiding the post blow job kiss.
Avoiding the post sex snuggle.
Even if he had not cum in my mouth he was challenged by the fact that his cock had been there and would no longer deeply kiss me.
In our sex, after he came, he would retract himself quickly from my body,
he would never venture downward to make sure that I was fulfilled,
and he would want to shower afterward.

Any one of these things, let alone all of them together revealed a deep intimacy issue and acceptance issue.

Not with me primarily, although that was the side effect.
But with himself.

Never allowing him to fully embrace the beauty and turn on of what our relationship could have been and offered.

The end result was a break up.
And why?
Because his disconnect to himself created a space that left me feeling it was not safe to surrender to him,
that he found me nasty in some fashion,
and that our sex was not about connection or love,
not even healthy play and f-ck buddies,
but that I was just a masturbation toy to him,
a piece of meat,
that he used and then was disgusted by.

I felt like I was far from accepted.
I felt disgusting.

Yet, with other lovers like the one above,
where he embraced us both,
remained turned on throughout our whole experience,
and accepted us both in all our humanness,
left me feeling beautiful,
turned on,
wanting him more,
and open.

Here is intimacy.
Here is authenticity.
Here is love,
first with self, then with another.

And the ONLY way to have it….
Acceptance of self.

No matter what you may be desiring in life,
the first step toward it is based in this truth.
If we can not accept who we are,
then we do not really know ourselves either.
Therefore, we cannot move forward in soul alignment.
And we will not achieve our desired life.
Have our desired relationships.
Or enjoy the F-ck YES! Life that we crave at our core.

Take this moment to STOP and appreciate yourself.
Look in a mirror,
really look,
deep into your own eye’s,
tell yourself that you love yourself.
Notice where your self- criticisms come up, ‘where you harbor pain, anger, frustration about yourself,
and just lean into it with love.

Embrace yourself fully and life will embrace you.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

My Orgasm Is Not Just Between My Legs.

My orgasm is not just between my legs!
 
My orgasm is so much more than I can share in words.
My orgasm is what I thrive on.
My orgasm is what radiates me,
it gives me the drive to keep going on when it seem’s as though I should not be able too.
My orgasm is what wakes me at 5:55am.
My orgasm is what keeps me up until 1:30am or later many nights.
My orgasm is why I smile.
It is why I make eye contact.
It is why I walk with ease and breathe deep.
My orgasm is what make my world go around.
 
And when I let go of my orgasm….
well my world effing shatters.
 
My soul screams at me.
 

“Girl!!!!!! WTF are you doing allowing your life to be non-orgasmic? GET YOUR ASS back on the orgasm band wagon and let it rip!”

 
Yes.
This is what my soul screams.
If I choose to ignore,
then I can only expect suffering.
I know for sure that my life will dwindle,
my mood will crash,
my drive for life, for sex, for anything that is beneficial will soften and will become numb.
 
I will no longer walk with certainty and ease.
I will no longer make eye contact in peace and love.
I will no longer feel myself interwoven with all that is and can be.
I will no longer feel the tingle, the throb of the desire.
And I will most certainly not have a genital orgasm.
Or an orgasm of the heart.
 
No I will walk in the land of the uncertain.
And I will fear.
 
SO why the f-ck would I ever let go of my orgasm?
 
I have lost it before.
And I occasionally loose it here and there.
It feel’s horrible to have this happen.
 
But when I do.
I come into the realization that in order for me to fully understand, appreciate and know my life of orgasm,
I must experience for a time frame here and there the polarities that life offers us.
 
Through these polarities,
through challenges and loss,
through feeling a low vibe,
is how we gain desire and appreciation for something more.
 
It is how we learn what brings us into orgasm.
 
Then when we find ourselves spread open in the gasps of the divine,
when we bask in the joy of our surrender,
we can then fully reap the orgasm.
 
And this we shall.
As long as we remain here,
in this allowing state,
we can maintain the orgasm for an eternity.
 
As long as we do not question the how?
As long as we do not examine and define the challenges,
but instead just move through them in grace and ease with no resistance,
then we will not be harmed by them,
but instead remain in joy and orgasm with our lives.
 
Remaining aligned to our soul.
And interwoven with all of the universe.
 
Here we can have all our desires.
Here we can enjoy the banquet table,
and breathe deeply.
 
Because there is no question of our worth.
There is no question of who we are,
or who we “should” be.
 
No all that is there is love.
And through this state of conscious allowing,
and leaning into the things that feel good to our souls,
we are led.
 
It is these things that capture us.
And it is these things that make us thrive.
 
So where is your orgasm?
Mine is not between my legs alone.
Mine is every breath.
Every heart beat.
It is brought in through my thoughts and my feelings,
and the awareness of them keep me in the vibe of my life orgasm.

 

What does your vibe say about your Orgasm?

 

As always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

 
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