He came hard and strong.
He came deep and long.
He vibrated my whole body with his orgasm and carried me deeper into my own.
My pussy twitched, squeezed and swallowed him up with her orgasmic sucking of his cum.
My heart raced,
as he pushed deeper,
pressing up against my cervix,
quivers, convulsions, followed by moans.
The wetness intensified,
and he softened.
allowing me to ride my own orgasmic wave,
as his cock relaxed within my warm embrace.
Together we breathe deep.
Without notice he moves in hast downward,
devouring me with his mouth.
Spreading open my legs,
sucking, kissing and enjoying the cocktail of our juices together that flow from my flesh.
My pussy ignites at the comfort that he enjoys this with.
Teasing my clit,
nursing softly on her even,
as he penetrates my pussy with his fingers and licks her soft lips.
For a moment, my mind wonders,
in fear that he will not be okay with our blended juices,
and will step away from me, leave me here on the verge of vulnerability.
Here where my body is opening and craving more.
But then I find myself in gratitude,
in love even with his confidence,
his comfort in himself,
as a man,
in our sex,
and with my body.
He does not stray away from the moment,
but instead hungers toward it.
His strength in his own acceptance is powerful,
is beautiful and refreshing.
He heals my soul and my sex at a deeper level in this moment without even realizing it.
The lesson he shares with me is to love yourself.
And with this acceptance of self,
others too will embrace and accept you at a deeper level.
Here is what we crave as humans.
Here is what we all want.
To be able to be raw, real and ourselves.
And to be embraced this way.
But how do we truly achieve acceptance in life,
with other human beings?
With our lovers?
We do it by accepting ourselves.
We do it by embracing ourselves.
We do it by being real and raw with who we are.
And learning to love our flaws,
We do it by being turned on to connection.
I hear from many people,
“I want depth in a realtionship.”
” I don’t want sex to just be friction. I want to be felt, seen and to really feel and see my partner”
” I want to feel love and connection.”
” I just wish I could be accepted for who I am.”
You will never have these things.
IF – You are not first accepting yourself.
IF – you are not truly turned on to connection.
What do I mean by turned on to connection?
Turned on to connection means that you need to actually appreciate, accept and even enjoy other human beings.
You need to WANT to connect.
Not just say that you want it and then turn around and bitch about it.
Or claim that you hate people.
If you hate people,
then how do you ever expect to have any of the above things?
If you hate people, then you more than likely are highly judgmental of people and thus of yourself,
which leads us back to self acceptance.
And if you cannot accept yourself fully,
then you will never be able to accept another.
Which will leave a feeling with others that you are judging them.
Because you are.
In our sex,
we are most critical,
and fearful of our humanness.
We fear that which we desire the most.
because it shows our humanness.
My share above about an experience with a lover is one that I bring up because I have experienced the direct opposite as well.
Years ago, I had a lover that turned me on in so many amazing ways,
All were yummie as f-ck.
I could devour the man for hours if he would let me.
But then would come the moment where I might take him in my mouth and enjoy giving him pleasure. Afterward, my desire to be snuggled and kissed were high and I would lean into these, he on the reverse side would lean away.
Avoiding the post blow job kiss.
Avoiding the post sex snuggle.
Even if he had not cum in my mouth he was challenged by the fact that his cock had been there and would no longer deeply kiss me.
In our sex, after he came, he would retract himself quickly from my body,
he would never venture downward to make sure that I was fulfilled,
and he would want to shower afterward.
Any one of these things, let alone all of them together revealed a deep intimacy issue and acceptance issue.
Not with me primarily, although that was the side effect.
But with himself.
Never allowing him to fully embrace the beauty and turn on of what our relationship could have been and offered.
The end result was a break up.
Because his disconnect to himself created a space that left me feeling it was not safe to surrender to him,
that he found me nasty in some fashion,
and that our sex was not about connection or love,
not even healthy play and f-ck buddies,
but that I was just a masturbation toy to him,
a piece of meat,
that he used and then was disgusted by.
I felt like I was far from accepted.
I felt disgusting.
Yet, with other lovers like the one above,
where he embraced us both,
remained turned on throughout our whole experience,
and accepted us both in all our humanness,
left me feeling beautiful,
wanting him more,
Here is intimacy.
Here is authenticity.
Here is love,
first with self, then with another.
And the ONLY way to have it….
Acceptance of self.
No matter what you may be desiring in life,
the first step toward it is based in this truth.
If we can not accept who we are,
then we do not really know ourselves either.
Therefore, we cannot move forward in soul alignment.
And we will not achieve our desired life.
Have our desired relationships.
Or enjoy the F-ck YES! Life that we crave at our core.
Take this moment to STOP and appreciate yourself.
Look in a mirror,
deep into your own eye’s,
tell yourself that you love yourself.
Notice where your self- criticisms come up, ‘where you harbor pain, anger, frustration about yourself,
and just lean into it with love.
Embrace yourself fully and life will embrace you.
Stop Existing & Start Living
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