Blowing in the Wind

“If your woman’s not begging, then there’s a problem.”

kwpearls“He embraced me with his strong arms and hands, pulling me in close to him as to make known his intentions of what was to come. His hand sat firmly on my lower back and as he leaned in and kissed me passionately, our breaths merged and became one. I could feel the raw hunger of my inner sexual priestess longing to be released from her chains of the day where she had been held prisoner. Forced into submission and told to look, act and be perceived a certain way so as to not cause any ruffle to society. This was not healthy for me to hold tight these feeling of wanting to be released, orgasmic in every breath and fully vulnerable and powerful in life, with my lover and as a woman. The more I allowed the clamping of my hunger to not be expressed the more lethargic toward life I was becoming, the more caught in worry, fear and over analyzing I did. But in this moment I was being taken away from the insanity and chaos of the repression, I was instead led into what my true nature was and my hunger for him grew even more. The kisses became deeper. So deep, that I felt as though he was going to consume me with each twirl of our tongues. As our tongues danced and teased my heart and pussy began to direct my energy into wanting him inside of me. I began to feel the sensations of possibly having him deep within me. As I surrendered into the possibility of this happening he leaned back from me and encouraged that we walk. I had completely forgotten that our original intentions were to just connect and talk, to enjoy an afternoon out at a park. In my being I wanted to be ravished and to ravish. Alas, this was not the time nor place for it, instead I turned my attention outward and took in the smell of the air, the flowers, watched the branches of the willow trees sway in the breeze and make ripples in the pond. I attentively listened as he shared about his life with me and allowed all the feelings of wanting to dash into the trees or lay naked and free in the grass by the water to just pass through my mind.  Down the path and around the bend we came upon some benches, standing out in the middle of nothingness, with tall buildings not far from view and roads nearby. Here we sat. Here we snuggled and shared. Here I could not resist a second more of the ever increasing bulge in his pants. My hands had to touch. My pussy became wetter as he let out soft moans, my pleasure grew and all I could think was, “ god how I adored his cock, his hands, his kiss, his voice, his pleasure.” Our time short, our location extremely public and my soul loving exhibition I made an executive decision and fully revealed his cock to the sunlight, took a deep breath, smiled and took him into my mouth. His scent, his taste, the feel of his throbbing member in my mouth all making my heart rush and sexual hunger pulse through my body. My thrusts becoming deeper, the head of his penis rubbing firmly on the back of my throat, his hands now in my hair pulling it lightly as his breathing became more shallow and his hips tensed. Mid thrust I heard him say, “…and at a public park,” a soft chuckle of pleasure crossed his lips and with his confirmation my tongue swirled in a loop, dipped down and crossed over his testicles as I sucked him in yet deeper, deep enough to cause a mild gag, to encourage more saliva to form so that I could devour him more. Hungrily I encouraged him to allow his milk to flow into my throat as I felt his tension, his heat, his longing to erupt. There in this public park, buildings all around, sun beaming down on us in ecstasy and the cool winds blowing across the water we merged and I drank his nectar. I drank until he could give no more, flushed and now dizzy from the intense orgasmic energy surging through him all he could do was breathe. Breathe in this moment. Breathe in this experience. Breathe in the peace, the intimacy, the excitement and allow the gift of his presence and acceptance to be what it was, a sensual connection not only to me but to life itself.”

Blow jobs, fellatio, hummers, giving head, smoking a Johnson, deep throating, or any other name you may want to apply to this intimate, sensual, raw beauty of sex is only trying to share the blood pumping, breath taking experience that it is and can be for both parties. I have heard from many men about how so many women do not care to give head, and many women say that they only do it to get him off quickly or to keep him happy. Men often do not have the understanding that when a woman willingly and openly wants to take you into her mouth that she is actually saying in her own sexual communication to you that she accepts you, adores you, hungers for you. Her wish is to bring you bliss and restore your faith in the universe and your place in it. A woman who knows the power of a good blowjob understands the great rewards that can be juiced from this experience for both her lover and herself. However, there is a lot that goes into accumulating all that is needed to REALLY make a woman want to go down on you. Just like women’s genitals a man’s Johnson can sometimes not be that yummie morsel of sexual food that we are willing to consume.

A man who does not care for himself is a man who will derail his possibilities of having a woman beg for his milk and possibly even prevent her from wanting him inside her anywhere. I am not speaking of sweat, or even of trimming things up neatly. I am talking about what you think, consume and do every day. These components are the building agents to making your member tantalizing and pleasing in all ways. If you have any sort of a yeast infection in your body (athletes foot, jock itch, dandruff, etc.), or are on a ton of medications, eat poorly or drink too much coffee or alcohol, live in a state of stress or negativity, masturbate to frequently, or do not have a healthy active lifestyle with plenty of rest or meditation you will significantly change the flavor, consistency, smell and even feel of your “load.” Most women have an issue with semen tasting too salty, or bitter, sometimes it will smell more like ass or throw- up instead of having a sweet odor and nutty flavor. A man who respects his body will have the women in his life happily kneeling before his shaft and even initiating or begging for him to cum in their mouth. The self respect and focus on one’s body, mind and soul that will get you ‘more head’ will also increase your chances of getting it on in more ways.

Weather women know it or not, when they themselves are properly cared for and hormonally harmonized, not blocked with a mask of medications, illness, yeast and stress, their natural animalistic instincts will lead them to crave a strong seed. Strong seeds only come from properly nourished men, men who are not poisoning their systems with any toxic overload that our current life offers as a normal state of being. The man in my story is a beautiful yummie example of a modern day gladiator whom I adore being slain by and nourished with his seed. A seed with such strength is a blessing to a woman in many ways outside of being fertilization to her eggs. A man with healthy semen can provide his lover with a fountain of youth, vitality, anti-depressant agents, hormone balancers and an elixir of overall well being. The components of semen are among some of the most healthy and when blended with saliva and if possible some of the women’s juices as well can be a tonic of the god’s. Today’s world has turned ancient practices into disgusting, belittling acts that instead of bringing connection, beauty and health bring shame, separation and pain. In our misunderstanding and lack of sexual education we destroy this beautiful raw sexual act of love and deep connection to ourselves, our lovers and life and we replace it with a need to just release some stress and feel powerful over taking someone else’s gift of surrender.

Ladies and gentlemen, fellatio can be one of the most intense, heated and scrumptious acts of love making. It can bring with it a host of either disease and shame, an ill taste and a longing to disconnect from your lover or it can bring health, intimacy, power, surrender and beauty. This is all in how a man chooses to handle it. So the next time you want your lover to polish your knob, review what you have been doing that will give her the incentive to actually want to consume you not just get you off so she can go on to more important matters, like the dishes or some facebook game.

Want to learn more  tips, tricks, health and intimacy in the bedroom and out explore my customized Sex & Relationship Coaching for single’s and couple’s. Get your questions and concerns answered and learn powerful skills and secrets to having that orgasmic blissed out relationship that you desire.

Getting Down N’ Dirty

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“The truth of our desires is much deeper, more nutritious and valuable than as a means to obsess over superfluous gratifications.Desire is energy itself—a call to pay attention to our truth and awakening.” –Maya Yonika

Namaste’ Everyone!

I am back in Dallas from an eventful 10 day journey to Chicago. I must say that it was just lovely there. The weather was comfortable for the most part except for a tad bit of humidity. Everything was green and blossoming and the people were friendly and welcoming. Getting a chance to explore and to reconnect was such a blessing. It also allowed for me to submerge into the “average and ordinary” middle America with many people who have no clue as to what I do for my life work. I found a few things interesting, one being that those who stopped long enough to turn outward and inquire about what I do, once I stated to them my title (Sex & Relationship Coach) paused with a look of terror on their face for a second before they caught themselves and then quickly changed the subject. I found myself chuckling inside at this reaction but being made very aware of the sad fact that sex and sexuality is that fearful a topic for almost 100% of the population. I did not have one soul inquire deeper into what that might mean, being a sex and relationship coach or how did I ever get started in such a profession, all just became fearful and shut down.

This fear and shame of one of the most important aspects of life is what is preventing so much depression, dis-ease, violence, mental illness, heartache, discontent with life, purpose and relationships. It is also the number one cause of so many people being in a state of neediness physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally and even financially. Yes sex can cure your bank account issues! But that is another topic for another day. Right now I want to share what I realized to be one of the major obstacles of intimate relationship for sure and is the cornerstone to a healthy a foundation for life in general.

Sexual Communication.

One of the BIGGEST mistakes that couple’s make in their relationship is the lack of sexual communication. Often we come together in desperation weather we know it or not, we are so hungry to be in a relationship that we might say or do anything to attract the other. We allow for our beliefs, boundaries and core being to be pushed to the side so that we can play a role of who we “think” the other wants us to be. But in a short period of time this role washes away and our true nature is revealed. Or at least the nature that we believe to be us with all it’s limitations, pains and blockages. This seeming new person in the relationship may have issues with all the courting gestures that we did and ways we allowed for other possible aspects of ourselves to be revealed and even lived for a short time. So we find ourselves in a state of closed, fearful distance where we do not feel understood or loved and resentment starts to play center stage.

We suppress our sexual desire’s and our life. We expect our partners to become psychic so that they can properly please us. If they do suddenly become psychic and start to inquire about some of our desires, even hitting some on the head we shun the very thought of desire and huff that they would ever propose such a thing. We are happy, fine and perfectly comfortable right where we are. The very idea of one of our desires being manifested may cause total terror to run through us even though we can feel the soft vibrations of our genitals saying, “YES. YES.”

Why is this?

Not that long ago, my lover and I were out driving, we were goofing around with some old school kid friendly presence games (Slug Bug) and every now and again would take a moment to also sensually tease the other. Somehow this action at one point stirred a conversation and I felt myself shutting down, fear swept across me. I immediately began to self inquire as to what caused this and why, however while I quickly chipped away at it my lover looked at me and said, “Your still dealing with pussy shame.” And you know what, he was right. the next 100 miles of the trip opened me to this awareness. I have felt it rise up and I have noticed some of my shutdowns. I have linked back to the causes and am always actively working on pushing through these blockages and finding ways to heal, however I thought I had pushed through this one a few years ago. I thought that I actually had pussy pride not shame. Boy have I been wrong. I have been stepping gingerly down the pussy pride road but have not fully embraced my own female sexuality and desires. I still find myself having issues asking for what I want or saying no to those things that I don’t want. I dance with fear and shame each moment for feeling the hunger that I do sexually and for life.

Here is an OPPORTUNITY for expansion of the self and of the relationship.

All of these feelings stem from past programs that are still running in the background of my personality and consciousness. When I started to review why was closing instead of opening I quickly discovered the fear of loss, abandonment. A lack of trust in the masculine and in myself. Shame for wanting more and to experience myself and life to the maximum. Shame of my desire to enjoy myself physically. I found rolling around in my psyche the pain of sexual trauma from my past, the fear that if I were to open up again that something “bad” may fall on me again. I found fear and insecurity in my looks and hormonal state.

The list goes on. In self examine I discovered that I am indeed a work in progress. That as far as I have come the programs that we all have grown up with are deeply embedded and I still have work to do. Scary!

The ONLY way to succeed at ANYTHING is to be bold when all others are running scared.

This boldness is self-love. Self-acceptance.
Step away from the flock and fly like an eagle. Heaven is here waiting on each of us and we can all enjoy the bliss we desire and deserve if we allow ourselves the freedom to just BE.

Success is finding your purpose, your passion and living it FULLY.
Success is KNOWING that you are divine.
Success is self-love and acceptance for all every aspect of yourself.
Success is being at peace withing so that the world can be at peace.

Be BOLD, Unbound and full of DESIRE!

Bobcat Under the Dancing Stars

starbrightThe night air was warm and muggy, my flesh felt moist to the touch as the breeze blew across the grasses that lay beside my body.  Starring up into the heavens, begging something in this vast expression of god’s touch to speak to me, to guide me, to make the pain of my heart chakra stop and in the same moment tears of gratitude flooded my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.  As the tears caused distortion to my sight I latched onto one single star in the heavens. It seemed so alone in the night sky.  Alone and yet surrounded by billions of other energy bodies all dancing and flickering happily. This one solo star though radiated stronger then the majority of it relations.  My tears made the stars gleam blur and swim in colors. A beautiful solo dance had manifested itself just for me as I lay there. The universe was speaking as it always does if we are willing to listen. Just like the ocean that carries many stories and yet holds on to none, so was the message of love for me this night.  Love is meant to be ever expanding yet we try and control it, we try and box it up, protect the one’s we love and ourselves from the pain of the beauty of the light of love. When instead what we should be doing is embracing the moments and realizing that each soul that comes into our lives changes us. Quantum physics is discovering that our capacity of our energies to blend with other energies is never ending. As a result we all become a composite of EVERY soul we have ever encountered.  Showing us the importance to surround ourselves with people whose souls will nurture our own.  No man or woman is an island. We have no choice but to absorb the energies of others. It is natural and automatic. Weather you believe in quantum physics or not, just like breathing air.  It leaves us changed forever. OUR personalities are ALWAYS changing depending on who we choose to be around. We are never the same person from moment to moment!

If we were to except our love relationships as larger deposits of energy then a soul that we meet at the gas station or even our next door neighbor we would experience a deeper sense of gratitude for each soul that we chose to open our hearts too. It is these chosen few or many that emboss a new sense of self onto our hearts and souls. Impressions that may last life times.

As we look at the star from my midnight meditation, we see that even stars share energy (light) with one another. No matter how distant apart they are or how solo they may seem. Depending on where we are when we look up into the heavens, their dance speaks to us in different ways, ALWAYS. This universe is alive and conscious.  Our consciousness creates the material world making the universe self-aware. If we open up, as many ancient civilizations did to the Omens that is spirit speaking then we can adjust our consciousness, expand it and learn to be in love with what is instead of trying to dictate what we want. Through embracing our souls, our hearts and the divine flow of life we nurture ourselves, discover a more gentle understanding and can see that in everything there is pain and pleasure.  When we elevate to a point that we are loving the beauty of death and the pain of birth then we can simply breathe and be present in the moment.  This does not mean that we will not experience pain, grief, upset. It does not mean that we will only have bliss in every moment. It just means that we accept and realize that life is always flowing, ever changing, like a river.

As I stared up at this solo star with a smile on my face, tears were cascading down my cheek, my heart pounding as though I had just run a marathon and my hands feeling the beat of mother earth beneath them I remembered a warm summer day when Bobcat appeared to me.

image_BobcatSitting at a park bench with a young man that I had just recently met and found myself connected to instantly, my heart in that moment beating as though I had run a marathon, a smile on my face and the feel of mother earths pulse beneath my bare feet, I breathed in the energies that dance around the two of us. The moment was perfect. And the universe wanted to speak. There upon her flesh she sent a messenger.  In the distance I saw something walking our direction. It was a cat. I pointed to it because it seemed to be too large to be your average house cat but was shocked it could be much else since we were in a large community park just outside of Dallas. He approached confidently and before getting to close yet close enough for us to see the messengers name; he turned to the side revealing that he was Bobcat. ‘OMG! Is that a bobcat?” I said. “Let’s follow him, see where he takes us, what message he has.” This daring man agreed although I am certain he was convinced in this moment I was crazy. Bobcat walked the trail not far in front of us, occasionally stopping to look over his shoulder to see if we were following.  He slinked his swaying body along the tree lined path with us in step. Guiding us back to the car we had come in. Looking back at this Omen I can see now Bobcat’s message.  Similar to the dancing star.  Bobcats are animals of solitude; they walk between the veils of this world and the mystical. They trust their instincts, are willing to take risks, and are quiet and sensitive to their environments. They are mostly isolated but know that they need at times of life companionship. On this day Bobcat was sharing his message. It was time to allow someone into our hearts. Into our energy, our world.

funvidandegopicsfeb11 024Later that day I was surprised by yet another Omen. My beloved house cat of 10 years whom had disappeared almost a year before had suddenly returned home, safe and well.  Ecstatic I shared this message with the man from the park. It was a birth of a new cycle in life. My heart danced at the opportunity and the bliss I felt. Happy in the moment. My being glowed as though I was pregnant and in a way I was. My heart was opening; my soul was healing, my spirit dancing with the stars.  Yet all cycles have a transition point or what we call a death, an end.  Bobcat’s message is a two part one. It is a message of cycles. The acceptance that when the time of companionship is done blossoming, the petals of the flower will wilt and fall back to the earth.  Solitude will again reinstate itself and like the bobcat even though we may feel overwhelmed and sensitive to our new found world and the death of the cycle we must find the courage to do what soul requests. Discovering the beauty in death is the message and still being able to dance under the same starry night sky and be grateful for each breath, the energies exchanged and the love that was embossed upon our hearts.

The Universe speaks. The final Omen of this tale is my beloved house cat. When the dance was over he too parted ways yet again. Sharing the message” Letting go and loving what is is all we can do”.

In the expansion of love, of feeling pleasure, joy and happiness we expand our whole being. Meaning that our vessel will “feel more” of everything. This can be scary for many of us. As whom wants to feel more pain, grief, suffering, anger, etc.  We want to choose what we feel more of. In some ways we can. We do this through our thinking and paying attention to our consciousness and what we are feeling. Inquiry of our thoughts is important.  Discovering what is true in our thinking and what is false.  For example, “He/she does not love me or they would not do this.” Is that true? Can you be certain that they do not love you because they are not acting a certain way? No you cannot.  90% of our thoughts are not even real. They are assumptions based on our programming. They are our ego causing doubt, fear, and distortion of the truth. If we can learn to separate our thoughts from our feelings (which they are VERY separate, we just bulk them together) then we can  have greater certainty in what we are to do in life and what will make us happy.

At the end of your days when we are breathing in your final moments here on this planet, in this body what will you wish for? Will you be full of regrets? Will you look back at your life, your loved ones, all that you accomplished or did not accomplish and have peace in your soul? Will your soul say I lived this life, I loved deeply in this life, and I risked everything and cherished every breath taking moment? I expanded and pushed my boundaries, saw my divinity and danced openly in moments of bliss and pain. I allowed my heart to be revealed my spirit to speak and I listened to the wisdom of my body, the feelings of my heart and the Omens of the Universe. I have no regrets.

What will your soul song be on your last day?

Patriot of the Soul: Looking at life through heaven’s eyes.

“When you are moving toward an objective, it is very important to pay attention to the road. It is the road that teaches us the best way to get there, and the road enriches us as we walk its length. You can compare it to a sexual relationship: the caresses of foreplay determine the intensity of the orgasm. Everyone knows that… And it is the same thing when you have an objective in your life. It will turn out to be better or worse depending on the route you choose to reach it and the way you negotiate the route.” – Petrus, The Pilgrimage by Paulo Coelho

When my children were very young I spent many a late morning or early afternoon, cuddled up with them watching a Disney or Dream-Works movie. Each movie, even in its grand Hollywood masking carried with it a tale of a soul who was looking for their path. At some point in the movie the main character would have to step off the safe and stable route that their families and friends had encouraged them to stay on and they had to venture out into the great unknown called: Life.

My top favorite movie to watch with my children was: Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron

The tale of a young stallion who through great pain, suffering, loss of family and true love discovers an unbreakable friendship, an elevation in love and the true courage of being a heroic Patriot of the Soul. For anyone who has watched this family movie from start to finish and allowed the soundtrack to dance its way through your heart, you know what I am referring to here.  The beautiful thing about this movie and many others that captivate us is that only through struggle, tribulations, tears and pain; only through risking everything can we ever fully have everything that we want and more.

 Joseph Campbell says it best, “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

Not so long ago I found myself lying in the arms of a man I love.  Every moment spent with him has been full of peace, unconditional love, acceptance and even in the times that I find myself breathing as to not allow my ego to jump hastily into our differences I still feel great intimacy and depth.  This particular afternoon however I was being torn up internally with fear. It had been weeks building, I had been taking notice of the smallest events, words shared, jokes, and above all else this pit in my stomach. I had made up my mind that for the greatest good of all parties (him and I) that we must part ways. I was fully prepared to tear my heart from my chest, to remove myself from the equation so that he could carry on and advance on his path. The fear of letting go of this bird so it could fly free though was horrifying!

We both found ourselves trapped in what seemed like a spot where God had abandoned us. The “higher powers that be” were laughing at our love, at our hearts that were breaking. Both fully aware that things were what they were but could soon very well change. The twists of the path we were walking on could cause a fork in the road. One that would force us to step down two separate trails. Being a man, as anyone who has read Grey’s book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus will understand, he was now acting in the role of Mr. Fix It. I was laying there taking in his scent, how his large hands felt as they cradled me, touched my cheek and how distant his heart beat felt in this position. I wanted to just blurt out everything that had been lying on my heart for the last month, but was scared that in revealing my true pain and not staying in this aloof state that was calm and collected would only cause him more suffering. And god how I did not want to be any more vulnerable then I was already feeling.

Sniffles cleared the silence of the moment, he was weeping. He was living the loss of us in this very moment.  Tears came to my eyes, grabbing hold of his arm and his hands as I encouraged him to hold me tighter.  I could feel that another Circumcising of the Heart was taking place for both of us.

“Often the love that means the most and is the truest will cause the most pain as well,” kept going through my head.  It reminded me that we were each on the brink of great transformational awakening. It was a birthing process.  Much like Pocahontas we were being gifted in this moment with the choice to choose our route. What’s around the river bend? Key words to remember for any Pathfinder.  Anyway we looked at it there was going to be pain, there was going to be something that we would have to risk. The choice though was ours as to what we valued the most and what we could breathe through.  In times when we are faced with hard choices and risk we are also faced with truly living life!

We can be like a turtle and cave up within ourselves, we can harden our hearts or we can be like a snake and shed our old skins, our old beliefs, patterns and transform into something more. A new version of ourselves.  Often once we have revealed this new higher vibrational self to the world, to those we love and to ourselves we discover that what we were once afraid of is actually only our own TRUTH. From being willing to make what seemed like a sacrifice we open the doorway to our true path.

The path of the patriot of the soul is like all paths, but it is unique because of the being that has chosen to walk it. This person is a crusader. This person wants to live life to fullest. Does not want to settle for a life of illusion, doldrums, control and average ordinary experiences.

The patriot of the soul thrives on discovering their own bliss and promises to themselves and to those that hold their hand on the path to “always dance in loves moments; even the painful ones.  To love unconditionally and religiously the divinity in each other.”

True love of another can sometimes make us feel as though we have found ourselves fenced outside of what our desires and hopes once were.  True love in its highest form reveals the courage to share of ourselves even when it may appear not in our best interest.  “Love is wanting the most for someone, the most experience, the most adventure, the most exploration, the most feeling, the most growth… For them to be all they can, fly as high as they can, go as deep as they can. And to support them as much as you can. This may be the hardest way to love; it is though the truest way to love… (Jonti Searll)”

To truly open ourselves to another soul and to our destiny, our purpose, our life path, we must be willing to travel across the bridges of emotion. We must be willing to STOP and meditate on our hearts and to listen to the omens.  The Patriot of the Soul

knows three things:

With these three things a Soul Patriot takes in the words of Buddha, “Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” The Patriot of the Soul goes deeper then the material world of love and happiness. Advances farther than any societal career could ever take them.  They open themselves to “seeing life through heavens eyes. (The Prince of Egypt)” In doing this the Patriot discovers true unity of self, there is no more dividing and conquering. They discover that the peace and harmony that everyone searches for is right here: It is within.  Anything else is attempting to cause a wave of distortion in the peaceful waters of your soul.

A true Patriot of the Soul takes risks! And knows that in all honesty there is NO path.

 If you believe you must go somewhere, do something, learn something, create something to obtain pure awareness, pure love, and peace then you have already lost all that you desire as well as your way home.

“You create your own universe as you go along” Winston Churchill

What does your reality look like?