Every woman wants a guy to have a rockin’ resume!
I mean all of us want that night in shining armor.
We want him to be tall, dark and handsome.
We want him to be rich.
We want him to be generous and compassionate.
We want him to be romantic and a good listener.
We want him to be world traveled.
We want him to be intelligent.
We want him to love our bodies as they are.
We want him to love our minds and hearts more.
We want him to just get us.
We want him to be passionate and playful.
We want him to be confident.
We want him to act like a grown up and take care of his responsibilities.
We want him to do everything right in the bedroom.
We want him to be a good kisser.
We want him to appreciate everything that we do.
We want him to respect us.
We want him to worship us.
We want him to be everything that we want him to be and just get it without us ever having to tell him what we want.
I mean if he just paid attention and was present,
if he inquired and asked the right question at the right times,
then he would know.
If he listened then all would be right in the relationship.
That is of course as long as he never pushed us to do or be anything that we did not want to do or be….
And he just accepted what he got for all that grandness that he is offering up.
Now we live in a world where sugar babies, paid hook ups and lies are just a way of relating.
We live in this world where if a woman wants something at work that she pretty much can get it for the right price.
And smart, well educated, go getter women EVERY DAY pay these prices with “respectable” bosses and elite men in power to advance themselves.
How can this be?
How can this be a designer relationship that anyone is happy with?
Its merely based in the man getting a place to stick his junk occasionally and release somewhere outside of the palm of his hand or the toilet and in return for this the woman gets taken care of financially or gains promotions, business advances, networking deals, or simply a monthly payment and some gifts and travel.
Either way its what many relationships for both single and married people are like.
I know many very affluent people who have mistresses of this nature. And I know many married women as well as single women who are gaining power and success in business and finances this way.
And its not even looked down on.
Where I live in North Texas just outside of Dallas,
its almost assumed that if you are a woman in her 20’s or 30’s that you have at least one if not two or three sugar daddy’s supporting your lifestyle, schooling and goals.
It is the sin that is not spoken of,
but is expected if you had an open raw unfiltered conversation with almost any man who makes decent earnings and if you sat with any woman who was “dating.”
That’s why such websites such as whats your price, sugar daddy, seeking arrangements and others of this nature are growing at the levels that they are.
So the question comes,
“What is the turn on to this style of relationship?”
Because obviously it may appear empty of true connection, love, friendship and a desire to be long standing. It is simply based on two people using each other to meet their needs.
Or is it?
Just last night this very topic came up on a double date I was on with a good friend. And as we conversed about it, the statement came around that these sort of relationships may perhaps be great examples of people doing what they “should” be doing no matter the relationship.
In such relationships, people:
* ask for their needs to be met
* set boundaries and non-negotiables
* discuss what the relationship is and what is not
* communicate about what is working and what is not
* keep a certain level of detachment
* lean in and trust the other to meet the proposed agreement
* don’t try and fake who they are or what they are there for
Unlike today’s marriages and committed relationships where both parties typically:
* don’t talk about needs unless they are fighting about them
* don’t understand boundaries and the only non-negotiable that is ever discussed is cheating
* Assume that the other side knows what they want from the relationship and assume they know what their partner wants
* don’t communicate about issues until its too late and therapy is needed, resentment has happened, one or both parties are feeling abandoned, misunderstood
* Think that co-dependency is love
* Have trust issues and use guilt and shame to try and control the other, the relationship and events
* Fake who they are and what they want on the front side of a relationship to get the relationship committed, then end up faking their intimacies with their partner and not willing to be authentic or have their partner be authentic
* Give surface level connection all the while saying they desire depth
Sounds exciting huh?
Yet it’s the truth of relationship in today’s world.
Today’s relationships certainly have their challenges no matter what labels , guidelines they may have set for them.
At the of the day what I want to focus you on is authenticity.
A good relationship is NOT based on that want list that a woman has.
A good relationship is not based on financials and quantity of sex or how adventurous the sex is even.
A good relationship,
a turned on, supportive, loving relationship is based in truth on the list that people who entertain “paid” relationships set.
The most important one being COMMUNICATION.
no matter how difficult it may be,
is the foundation to everything else.
The communication however, needs to be REAL.
And it needs to come from a centered place of KNOWING THY SELF first.
This will provide a level of maturity,
understanding and presence that the majority of people never achieve in their relationships.
But when we offer this sort of authentic relating we can then feel into the who we are even more, grow and expand mentally, emotionally and allow our partners the same.
We limit our expectations.
We speak our needs.
We respect boundaries,
and we take responsibility for our happiness.
Here is the ground to create a successful relationship based in unconditional love and respect instead of ego and need.
How does your relationship ideas, goals and ways of relating line up?
Are you exploring authentic relating or something else?
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Message me for deet’s on creating an authentic relationship, no matter its current status TODAY.
Sometimes it will not be perfect.
Sometimes you will mess up.
Sometimes it just won’t carry the energy that you want it to.
Sometimes it will be blah…
and you will feel all humbug over it.
But that is just sometimes.
And those sometimes only build energy and power when you focus on them and give them such.
I have humbug moments all the time.
My energy ebbs and flows with the best of you.
Sometimes I write a musing or do one of my daily live streams and find myself asking,
“Why did I even do that? It was horrible.”
But you know what,
when you are building your empire,
and focused on creating that dream life that you know that you are worthy of on the days that you are not so humbug,
then what matters is not always the words that are coming from your lips or finger tips but the CONSISTENTLY to do the damn thing that you know that you need to do to call in the life that you know you are meant to have.
If this is around building a business,
then its about being consistent in your messaging and showing the f-ck up to your tribe a few times a day,
letting them feel you no matter where you are at.
If this is around relationships,
then its about consistently sharing your heart and being present in the relationship.
No matter the subject of your life that you are feeling all humbug about,
the thing to keep in mind is CONSISTENCY.
Without it you will get no where quickly.
With it you will move mountains.
And if you catch yourself feeling low vibe about the things you love so much all too often,
then you best check what kind of thoughts you are consistently thinking too, beautiful.
If you are focusing in on things that are not your core WHY,
are not coming from a place of soul,
or your heart then beware what might be taking hold of you and consistently preaching fear, doubt and worry into your system.
CONSISTENCY in your thoughts has the greatest power over your life.
What you focus on grows.
And often we do not have the self-awareness to realize that we are self- sabotaging with the conversations that we are having with ourselves. Often we choose to not do the most uncomfortable thing that we can,
and that is to LISTEN IN on the words that we speak to ourselves.
These statements that we share in our most deep and intimate space of self are the deciding factors to the paths that we take in our lives.
And anyone who has ever done something great has started cleaning up the habitual thoughts that cause the muck in clarity and truth finding.
As long as you choose ignore your thoughts and ignore taking responsibility for them,
As long as you deny your power to change them and to change the way that you are feeling right now,
You will continue to suffer and not create the life that you want.
Today is a new day beautiful.
Today is a day for you to call in the life that you want.
Today you can SAY YES to YOU.
And today you can CHOOSE what you focus on.
What is your focus for today?
or this week?
Ready to CLAIM YOUR LIFE?
I sure AF hope so!
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
I want you to close your eye’s and imagine yourself not wanting for anything.
Imagine yourself not stressing or worrying about anything that you may currently be focused on in your life.
Can you do that?
Many people have a tough time with this simple exercise.
Many people when I ask them to calm their fears and their thoughts around what they do not have look at me as though I have three heads and state,
” I can’t do that, it must be nice though for those who can.”
Is this what you are feeling at my request as well beautiful?
Or are you among the not so average and ordinary who understand and practice the calming of your hyperactive mind and fears?
If you are like the first option then this message is certainly for you. If you are the latter well this message is still for you and it will serve you well to get some extra reinforcement and confidence in your power.
Earlier today my thirteen year old son Levi came to me sharing his desire to learn meditation as he believes after much research and reading that it is the key to him being able to manifest the things that he wants quicker then what he has been doing and that it will also open him up to divine insight. He told me that it scares him to death to think about doing it because he does not know what he is capable of or what messages from soul will come through to him but he is committed to taking on this practice and exploring it.
How beautiful is that authentic truth share he offered to me today as well as the courage and commitment that he is showing to manifest his desires?
And he is thirteen!
I share this because I want you to know that his simplistic understanding and belief is all any of us ever need.
He is more then accurate in what he is believing around meditation and if he chooses as he states to apply himself with focus to the practice then he will reap rewards that he is not even aware of.
People ask me all the time what I do in a coaching session with someone? What they could expect for results in working with me.
The truth is the results depend on the person not on me.
My role in the scenario is to guide and to share what I KNOW works with application and commitment. How coachable someone is has nothing to with me.
One of the main things that I work with people on is the above. Helping them to realize how powerful their thoughts are and how those thoughts translate to feelings and actions.
You see, often what we do out of comfort in habit and false belief is the VERY THING that HOLDS US BACK from our success in having the life that we want.
If you feel unsettled around getting out of your comfort zone.
If you feel nervous about committing to something that is calling to you at a SOUL or CORE level.
If you get excited but then quickly move yourself into doubt about your abilities, worth, etc to make it happen.
If you find yourself with a million and one great reasons (a.k.a. excuses) as to why you cannot do it at this time.
Then beautiful it is time for you to GET REAL with yourself!
You are scared of your own success.
You are fearing your power.
You are fearing how amazing you really are.
You are terrified at what you can create.
And somewhere inside of you,
YOU KNOW that you can have it all.
But the fear of loosing it,
the fear of stepping up to the plate and owning that life that you want is trapping you.
And you are settling for comfort.
Settling for excuses and reasons.
And you because you are ALLOWING this way of living and being you will continue to have what you have.
It all starts with you finding your happy place.
It all starts with you being able to laugh at yourself and show yourself some compassion.
It all starts with you being able to make friends with yourself.
To find the stillness within and let it wrap its peace and flow around you.
STRUGGLE will prevail.
So what do you say beautiful?
Are you ready to claim your life?
I sure AF hope so.
But its starts with YOU GETTING OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE and tapping into your mystery.
Let Go and Let Flow Baby!
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”