Sex and yoga have a lot in common. They’re both about opening and stretching into new places. Going deep inside yourself to find strength and endurance you didn’t know you had. Softening and letting go to remove your civilized layers and return to yourself.
His arms, so open.
So full love.
I welcomed his embrace with my whole heart and soul.
Needing to be held.
To be carried in this moment.
Needing his witnessing of my soul.
There we were, a moment that happens often in our relationship. Saying good bye at a car door in a parking lot. Embracing each other with love. With a tender holding of friendship. Of authentic connection.
Today was different though.
Today I was breaking in the wake of my life.
I was washed over by the storm of my life and I did not have the strength to hold space for myself.
Today, I needed his strength.
I needed the witnessing and loving support of the divine masculine to hold me.
A fatherly love.
A lovers love.
A deep friendship of years.
A kindred spirit.
I needed to feel God come through him and hold me. Assure me that I was going to not just be fine, but be able to fly again.
His inquiry was deep but open.
So empathetic. Compassionate.
Full of love.
Soft were his words.
Connective were his communications.
2000 miles may have separated us, but he was there holding my hand. Holding my heart. Sharing his.
Months had passed since we saw each other and spoke last, yet these two hours on the phone felt like no time had passed. There was zero distance between our beings.
It was perfect.
He was perfect.
His holding and witnessing made him so.
I had been able to gift him with this holding in years past, now he was offering it to me and sharing his tales and lessons equally. Together we rose. Together we embraced life in this moment.
Our broken hearts.
Our misunderstandings and uncertainty.
A fellow soul crusader’s empathy and love.
A lovers love.
A friendship of years.
A kindred spirit.
I needed to hear his lessons of love and compassion. I needed his truth in this moment. It supported my own. His words encouraged both of us. God was speaking through him. His statement of, ” I answer to something higher than the law of humankind.”
Yes. I too answer to this.
I too align to this.
Our laws of ego and shut down hearts are not my truth.
I needed to hear this. I needed him to assure me that I was not broken. That I would fly again.
He walked through the door and just smiled that smile.
He embraced me from behind while I cooked dinner.
Kissing my neck.
Telling me sweet everything’s.
His arms open wide.
His heart beat assuring me.
His presence witnessing me.
The tears I had cried before, in the parking lot, on the phone. He could see their residue left from my mascara on my cheeks.
He could see my exhaustion.
My fear. My concern.
His holding. He shared his breath with me through a kiss.
He assured me that I could fly with his smile.
He cradled my heart as it wept with his presence.
He cradled my aching body with his strength, his warmth.
It was ours.
These were our tales.
This was our truth.
The only moment.
A fellow seeker of truth and healing.
A lovers love.
A new friendship.
A kindred spirit.
The look in his eye’s. The smile on his face. The laughter he brought into the moment. His light. Telling me that I could have it all. Telling me that I was strong. That I was a mother f*cking Goddess! Telling me that I was radiant. Telling me that I was needed and mattered. Assuring me that I could fly.
This was my day yesterday.
These three gentlemen assuring me,
each in their own way that I could fly.
Each sharing their hearts.
Helping to heal me.
And I helping to heal them.
Through authenticity and truth.
Through unconditional love and the offering of our presence and witnessing for each other.
Here is the dance of the divine masculine and feminine in it’s beauty. Here is the ying and the yang.
These three men in less than 24 hours have done more toward the healing of my heart and soul than I can ever communicate in my written words.
My gratitude for their love, support, compassion, empathy, connection, guidance, strength, and PRESENCE goes beyond words or actions to be shared.
All I can offer in return-
Is my heart and my wings.
Thank you for being the wind beneath my wings.
For carrying me to a new space.
Thank you for helping me take a step in restoring my faith in the masculine. In men.
This is my share today.
It is a share of compassion. Vulnerability and gratitude.
It a share of the great masculine and how it can when it chooses, hold space for the feminine and love her through her storms and messy emotions.
This is a share to show all men out there,
Thank you to these three men who chose in one day to gift me with their presence and hearts.
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You can use each to amplify the power of the other.
I went on a remote yoga retreat with my lover last fall. It was life-changing. I was cracked open wider and wilder than I have ever been before.
The combination of having a full week devoted just to us, quantum-leaped our connection. Doing yoga together daily stretched the crusty parts of us open and dissolve. Being immersed in an off-the-grid experience (no electricity, sleeping in open-air villas) reconnected us to our natural rhythms.
Sex is part of your natural rhythm.
Like yoga, the more you commit to it, and trust it and learn to let go, it will transform you. The little parts of you that get in your way, your defenses, your ego and chatter mind, can all be dissolved through a powerful yoga session.
Or an hour of life-shifting sex.
I recommend taking a weeklong sex date several times a year to get out of your routine, and into each other. You will revitalize your selves, cells and relationship.
In between those weeks, you can maximize your time in yoga classes and during your weekly sex dates.
Here’s where sex and yoga come together:
1) What happens in bed and on the mat carries out into life. What I love about yoga, is the microcosm. I physically open, stretch and cultivate a practice of letting go. When I leave the class, I feel more open, patient and relaxed.
Sex has the same impact on me: when I am assertive and strong in bed, it strengthens my assertiveness and strength in life. The more I allow myself to receive pleasure in bed, the more open to it I am (and expect it) in my day-to-day existence.
2) Sex and yoga rebirth you. Yoga helps you to leave your ego and the constructed parts of yourself behind. The more you practice, the more you relate to the world from a natural, un-self-conscious place.
After cataclysmic sex, I stumble out of the bedroom and the world feels new. I feel new. This is one of the major reasons why I am such an advocate for the spiritual and therapeutic benefits of sex: it transforms us.
There is a good reason why we call orgasm “la petite mort.”
3) Sanctuary. We all need a place to retreat. We take off our armor, sigh, and are held. Yoga gives you a space to unwind your tension and sink deep into yourself.
Sex does this twofold: you open and sink into yourself and into another person.
4) Breath is key. In yoga, the poses are a vehicle to move the breath. Yoga is like a breath-bath. Every nook and cranny of your being gets cleansed. The breath unclogs stuck energy and gets your system flowing optimally again.
During sex, breathe as consciously and fully as you would during yoga. The breath carries potent, sexual energy (even stronger than regular “chi” or “prana”) throughout your body, rejuvenating and healing you in the process. Deeper breathing also leads to full-body orgasms, multiple orgasms and stamina-building in men.
5) Balancing out with the feminine. Yoga is fantastic for getting you into your archetypal feminine energy: learning how to flow, be receptive and surrender.
In our busy, modern lives, most of us live from our “masculine.” We do more, stay active and driven in order to achieve. We forget that learning to open, attract and receive can be as powerful for getting things done.
The art of surrender is the key to powerful sex. Both sexes can tap into the state of learning how to receive, and how to be.
6) Flexibility in mind and body. The best sex is borne out of an open, non-judgmental way of being: everything is accepted. Plus, the physical ability to hold challenging yogic postures clearly transfers into a talent for marathon sex.
It goes both ways: the ability to cultivate four-hour orgasms will strengthen your yoga practice.
7) Pelvic power. Yoga tones the pelvic floor, bringing more conscious awareness. You will improve sexual sensitivity and boost your orgasmic potential and control.
Sex and yoga help to lubricate the hips and the heart: both crucial tools for day-to-day living and loving. Use both as tools to breakthrough to a state of yo-gasmic bliss.
Written by Kim Anami
image via Peter Hegre
Published July 8, 2012 at 2:40 PM
Original Post at MindBodyGreen