Is Your Relationship a KNOWING One?

Opening up.
Vulnerability.
Sharing our truth.
Our emotions and our thoughts.
As we share our bodies.
 
We crave the relationship that we can have and do all of this in and yet we never give ourselves the opportunity to truly expereince what this sort of relationship is like.
 
I may have had a few relationships of many lables and kinds through my adult years.
 
And as I sit here thinking on them,
I see a common factor in them.
I see my hunger for depth.
 
Some provided a richness of the mind.
These were the relationships that stimulated me and made me ponder deep and wondereful things. They were phylosophical, complex, logical and smooth.
 
Some provided a richness of the emotions.
These held me in a sea of emotion,
they taught me it was safe to weep in a lovers arms,
they taught me it was beautiful to witness another share from their heart the things they feared to reveal anywhere else.
These relationships were based in feeling emotion.
Both positive and negative.
They were chaotic, moody, edgy and ever changing.
 
Some provided a richness of the body.
These ignited my flesh consistently.
I would find myself lighting up and being taken into a desire without any thought,
just a hunger.
These I could feel my whole body open into and drink up the tender and playful moments shared.
These relationships were based in passion, touch, action, play and chemistry. They were triggering, expansive, educational, playful and hot.
 
But none of these beautiful relationships,
just based in the area that it landed offered what I wanted the most for.
 
DEPTH.
 
You can go deep with someone in thought.
You can go deep with them emotionally.
You can go deep physically with them in exploration and play.
 
But that is not the depth that we crave in relationship.
 
For us to know what depth is,
we must first have a taste of it with self.
As it is like with anything worth wanting for,
first you must know it from within.
 
All good shiz starts within.
And depth in relationship is no different.
 
What makes up a deep relationship though?
 
Its all of the above,
and its also spiritual depth.
You have to feel it at a SOUL level.
There is a KNOWING.
 
It is where our souls unit and they just KNOW that they are two branches on the same tree you could say.
 
This spiritual depth takes you into a land where conversations move past the mental, emotional and physical constraints.
We speak about lifetimes of connection and feeling.
We meld ourselves together in the knowing of each other and we can’t do anything else but smile.
 
Even if the relationship comes to an end,
we cannot say anything other than our gratitude for having expereinced it.
 
You will know when you are in a relationship of this sort,
by tapping into your truth.
 
You must be willing to embrace the possibility that it is not a KNOWING relationship.
That you may not have the depth that you crave and may never have it with the person that you have your eye’s set on in current,
but you can feel into the relationship you have and figure out if it is based in this KNOWING or not.
 
The steps to the KNOWING are simple:
 
🔥 You have what some would say a blind love. You truly are unconditional with this person. They can do NOTHING that will ever make you turn from them, that you could not forgive them for. You see them only in love. Many relationships claim to have this, however when you examine it you will find that the parties want each other to act, look, be a certain way so that they pleasently feed the others needs for comfort and safety.
 
🔥 Synchronicities and coincindeses just happen at high intensity when you are together or thinking about this person. To the point that its like the universe is always sending you memo’s on your deep connection and alignment with this other person.
 
🔥 If you are having sex, its without question the best you have ever had. Mind blowing, connective, emotional, with spiritual overplay at every gasp. You cannot get enough of each other and you feel like you just keep finding a new universe to explore each time you are together within this person.
 
🔥 Triggering. The KNOWING relationship is one that will feel triggering in many moments as the person will mirror you and at the same time ask that you go deeper into them to see yourself. They will without consciously knowing or trying say and do things that will cause you to pause and breathe. The end result will always be the same, where you find yourself exploring deeper aspects of self because of what they revealed.
 
🔥 Psychic connections. This may seem silly to some, but its the KNOWING relationship that has some feeling like they have been together for a thousand years over, they feel each others thoughts and emotions almost too accuratly some days. Hard to keep secrets in a knowing relationship as all is constantly revealed.
 
🔥 Gut wrenching. A Soul Knowing relationship has you wrapped up in a constant battle of uncharted waters of vulnerabilty. You find yourself diving into waters with this person on small and big matters without care or second thought. You have the certainty that they will love you through it no matter what, because they do.
 
🔥 Both parties feel all the above.
This is where the rarety comes in. Many people may sit and read these words and say, “Yes. Yes.Yes. I have all of that with my partner.” But would your partner feel and think the same? If two come together but only one see’s and feels, then it is not a KNOWING relationship for this moment in time or perhaps even this life. We can have many beautiful moments and memories with many kidred souls. We may think of them even as soulmates, and this all of them are. But the KNOWING is one that is without question, or doubt from either side. It just is.
 
We can all call in this beautiful fulfilling relationship,
we may be in a KNOWING right now. You may have had a relationship of the past be all the above and lost it.
You will know if you still love unconditionally and smaile at the fact that at least you loved and lost, then never have been able to taste the KNOWING at all.
 
Often our fear blocks us from this vulnerable deep sort of relationship. We meet someone and our souls KNOW…
but due to whatever fears and repression we may have we may block it from being lived out at this time.
 
That is why…
To have a KNOWING relationship,
you must first look within.
 
The one’s who know themselves,
love themselvevs purely and without constraight,
the ones who lean into their fears,
push past thier triggers,
and allow themselves to SEE and be SEEN.
 
These are the one’s who open the doorway to DEPTH that we all crave.
 
I ask you today,
Are you willing to stand before the mirror of all time and space and go deep within to manifest the relationship your heart and SOUL crave for?
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me about opportunities to learn how to go deep with self, clear your blockages and open the doorway to love.

Compliments from a Gorgeous Cock Owner

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“There I was more wet and turned on then I had been during the course of our hour and half of love making. It was in this moment of exasperated passion that he chose to introduce a new toy to our adventure. A large microphone looking vibrator that when he powered it on I could hear the clinging of the ring on his finger. At first he teased my nipples with its pulses and then slowly moved it down the front on my body, crossing my abdomen and then resting it on my pubic bone. My breathing  quickened and I had to remind myself to remain present and breathe deeper. As I lay there focusing on my breath and trying to allow myself to be penetrated by the orgasmic vibration  my lover moved this pulsing toy down a notch more to where it now would rest on and tease my clit.  It’s vibration was so intense  I could feel an orgasm arising  within only seconds. My muscles tightened and quivered. I could feel my body wanting to let go into this rapture, but something was stopping me. Something was holding me in my mind and not allowing me to be fully expressed in this pleasure.  He could sense that I was not surrendering completely and without a remark he moved from where he was resting between my legs to standing by my head that was almost hanging off the side of the bed. His thick gorgeous cock erect and strong now teasing my lips and mouth as his hand guided my hand to holding the vibrator. Softly encouraging me to place it where it felt most pleasurable. There I lay naked on these white sheets, full frontal view exposed, vibrator in hand and on my pussy, pulsating  its lips and clit while devouring his ‘wand of light.’  My body begging me to just release into the orgasm, my mind wandering,  unable to just let go. My thoughts bouncing from:

“OMG, I really needed this, Mmmmmmm….” 

To “I wonder if he is really enjoying this. What is he thinking right now? God I must look horrible in this light, legs open wide and quivering like this, Lord I hope I don’t have anything in my nose, this is the wrong angle to be seen in…Should I look into his eye’s right now?”

Fearing I was making an ill face, that my stretch marks or the slight sag of my breasts might be a turn off I found myself unable to connect to the fact that I was being gifted with a most blissful moment with one of my favorite men. I could feel the orgasm growing tired of fighting for its life and on the cusp of giving way to numbed out flesh. It was in this moment that my lover chose to push me over the orgasmic edge and bring my focus to only one thing.

“God, you look so sexy, so arousing. I love watching your body. I could do this forever.”

With his complimenting words of how he was turned on and getting pleasure from just seeing me and how he enjoyed our sexing, I was able to release my mind and all the worry, fear and insecurity that was holding me back. I relaxed and opened myself to the moment therefore being penetrated fully by the orgasm. Heart thumping faster, blood rushing to my genitals, and my mouth getting as wet as my pussy. I wanted to feel him pressing into me in every way. I wanted to feel the earth move within my being while wrapped around him. I heard him moan with each flick of my tongue and suck of my mouth. Each moan injecting into my body more arousal, until I could no longer with hold the eruption. “

Truly we have no concept how powerful our words can be to another. Our messages shared in times of sexing can bring extra connection, depth and intimacy into the moment. Our statements of love and appreciation, our compliments and encouragements can free our lovers to fully experience themselves and us alike. Supportive love filled words can give your partner the nudge needed  to surrender to bliss and open them to feeling the complexity and beauty of the moment.

Men and women alike dance with shame, guilt, stress and fear when they are revealed during sex and often our concerns fall toward how we are performing, what we are appearing like to our partner and if we are “making” them happy.  We also experience times when stress from work, family, health, or finances might keep us mind focused and not in our body where we can taste the juiciness of life.  Many people even though they hunger for good and frequent sexing are shameful of their cravings because of their religious up-bringing or the ill perceptions that society holds. Often in the course of a long standing relationship or marriage partners will perform in the bedroom out of a feeling of duty causing their ‘love making’ to not be pleasurable to the body, mind or soul and instead their sexing becomes one of even more stress.

In relationships where NRE (New Relationship Energy) is still strong lovers may find it easier to go deeper in their love making and most likely are far more willing, excited and present in it as well. However, with any intimate moment that people find themselves vulnerable to another they may experience certain shut downs or at times difficulty surrendering to their partner and the orgasm. These moments when experienced can lead to many sexual issues for both men and women and if one allows this disconnect to persist for a long enough course of time they will experience (for a man) ejaculation without orgasm or limited feeling, erectile dysfunction, inability to come and an overall unconnected sensation from themselves, life and their partner. Women who consistently disconnect during sex start to experience more masculine energy in themselves, the soft, flexible, sensual nature of the feminine subsides and makes way for the harsher, direct masculine energy that men normally express.  This energy will take the female into the mindset of performance and a need to just “get off” from the moment instead of surrendering into the sensual dance or full body orgasm and connection to not only her lover but to herself and all of life. If allowed to persist women will slowly loose feeling or become over sensitive in their genitals thus causing them to feel a numbness or pain during sexual contact. Their mind will constantly be in a state of worry, stress or concern.  The natural luscious sexy nature of the woman will dwindle to a faint light and her mood will go from pleasant to harsh and insensitive or depressed and scared causing FOD (female orgasm disorder).

In current times these are frequent issues for both men and women alike, issues that CAN be healed. Pharmaceutical companies see the great opportunity that these issues bring forth and are quickly doing multiple studies on the sexual dysfunction epidemics that we in the western world are experiencing in greater mass. But the solutions to these problems are not going to be healed by popping another pill. Pills do not heal or fix a problem for the most part, they mask the symptoms and further burry the real issues at heart. Key world being HEART and anyone willing to do the work and develop the skills can experience a holistic therapeutic healing for such dysfunction. Matter a fact through the practice of holistic sexual healing individuals can experience greater sexual pleasure, longer lasting experiences, deeper intimacy, psychological as well as physical and emotional release of past traumatic abuse and more life satisfaction in general. A large part of sexual therapy is the reprogramming of our internal belief structure. This is done in varies ways but one of the most powerful forms of therapy is to be authentically seen.

What do I mean by being authentically seen?

A client will reveal themselves in an emotional, physical or mental fashion to the practitioner (possibly in all forms at once if doing advanced work and often all areas merge together once a client becomes strong enough to be vulnerable in one area). The practitioner will give the gift of sacred space, meaning that they will hold focus on only the client and be completely present with them, providing a safety net to just be themselves.  Naked in every way, the client opens themselves to being seen authentically and the practitioner shares empowering words, affirmations, and even touch in some cases.  Many clients are amazed at the healing and revelations that they have in these moments. Often people have not experienced this sort of honest, authentic caring and unconditional acceptance in their lives since they were small children. Coming from this space individuals begin to experience themselves and are able to release much of the negative dominant programs that have been running for many years. We can experience a degree of this holistic sexual therapy within our own personal relationships by practicing mindful authentic communication. Part of sexual communication is sharing compliments in intimate moments with our lovers. Such positive words work toward affirming that our partner is divine, beautiful, arousing, sensual, sexy and helps to support them in allowing themselves to surrender further into the moment and express themselves as fully as possible with us. Our compliments in times of sexing can help heal years of shame, guilt, negative self-talk, fear, self-judgment and pain.  Compliments not only fertilize your lovers heart but water your lovers genitals and over all sexual arousal and connection.