YOU LOVE HER POWER BUT YOU FEAR IT AS WELL.

YOU LOVE HER POWER BUT YOU FEAR IT AS WELL.

 

The wild woman.

The seductress.

The lover.

Her beauty and mystery,

something that you desire to taste more of.

The way she moves,

the curl of her lips as she speaks.

You watch her every move wanting more.

She is free and open,

she laughs and plays as though she has an innocent heart,

but the fire in her eyes reveals a woman who knows herself,

a woman who was born to lead and command great army’s if need be.

You feel her power by just standing in her presence.

You feel her hunger when you come near.

She is wild and crazy,

she is untamable and unfiltered,

She is coy, collected and breathless.

 

And you want her.

You want to experience her touch,

her kiss, the smell of her soft skin.

You want to hold her gently as well passionately.

She tests your manliness,

she toys with your thoughts and energy.

She is deliberate.

And you know this.

But you want more.

 

Believing that you can hold her.

Believing that you can carry her.

Believing that you want nothing more than her radiant light to expand through all the heavens,

you cannot imagine a world without her beaming beauty and strength,

and yet you fear it.

 

Deep inside your being there is terror.

It is unsettling and true.

You do not feel worthy of her,

you question if you are strong enough.

She rattles your inner most cages and shakes you to your soul,

can you conquer this greatness of the wild woman,

and do you even truly want to?

 

Will she let you penetrate her soul?

Or will you just be among the many who have tried and only fell by entering her body?

 

You want to be the one.

You desire her so.

You want to be the one that takes her breath away,

the way she does yours.

 

And so you try….

you stand firm in her fires,

you open yourself to utter destruction.

You know that you love her,

and feel confident if just for this moment in time that you can hold strong and breathe her in and hold her.

But the wilderness of the wild woman’s soul is not to be captured nor contained by any.

She was born free and free she must remain.

She is a goddess,

she is a witch,

she is a siren,

and a Queen.

She knows her power and will allow for it only to be pushed down for so long,

and then you will feel her rise once again and claim her rightful throne,

and under her foot will fall many.

All those who wanted to own her,

to conquer and control.

These are the boys who thought they were men.

These are the men who thought they were kings.

But they shunned her light as they spoke sweet words of love.

They harnessed her joy as they held her tight in their insecurities.

They jailed her passion, her sensualness and power with their jealousy and fear.

And she allowed them.

She let them rule her for a time,

in hope that she could be happy.

Here in the misery of her weakened state,

her shadow.

 

She is a wild woman.

And in her beauty you will be lost,

you will desire and crave,

you will want for her light to never dim,

but will you be like all the rest who have fallen?

Claiming her as your own.

Trapping her power.

Wanting it all for yourself.

As if it were something that you could take or understand.

 

Far from average she is.

She was never meant to be tamed.

There is no domesticating a wild woman,

you would be wiser to destroy the most beautiful of stain glass windows, then to try.

If you love her let her remain free.

In spirit.

In power.

In love.

Watch her dance for you as she will.

She will make you laugh and feel full in her intoxicating ways.

Let her move you as only the wild can.

But never,  never hold on too tight.

Or know that her light may be put out with your hand.

 

Delicate and strong,

the wilderness will always call her.

She is a wild woman,

and you are but a man.

 

————————————————————————–

To all my beautiful wild women out there.

You know who you are. 🙂

My sisters you are deserving of kings,

enjoy all the men that you want,

but never settle for a throne that is not yours.

 

Hold your power and joy before you.

Feel into your hearts and pussies for answers,

ignore the trumpting judgments of those who do not see your truth and radiance,

they are blinded by the shadows of their own fear.

 

You are a wild woman and always will remain.

Open yourself to the universe,

open yourself once again to the gift of receiving.

It is here in your womb that you know your truth.

Listen with your heart of the wild.

 

Now run forward my fellow Queen.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

What are you waiting for my love?

Let’s get you your power back.

October Asskickery Month is upon us almost and you are not signed up for 4 powerful asskickery sessions with me, where you get to take back the life that you have always desired.

 

Reach out to me for the 1:1 coaching opportunity TODAY and save almost $1000.00 Now.

 

PHOTO CREDIT @DANDELION iMAGES

I FUCKING LOVE MEN!

I FUCKING LOVE MEN!
I do.
I always have,
Always will.
No matter how they bring my heart pain sometimes,
To me men are amazing in so many ways.
Everywhere, from a man who knows truly how to touch a woman,
Deeper then the flesh,
To the soul.
Letting her feel his heart,
To a man’s ability to lead.
To direct and see the pathways needed to solve a challenge.
Men are truly wonderful.
When they are conscious.
When they are confident.
When they are open and playful.
When they know thier worth,
When they allow themselves to be true to themselves.
Men are wonderful.
This week has been filled with so many yummy men for me.
I have had the pleasure of dancing in at least a dozen men’s masculine light,
Feeling thier joy, their fear, their pain and desire.
And in spending these moments with these men,
My heart expands.
My desire grows to be penetrated deeply by the masculine.
I am not referring to sexual penetration here,
Although that’s awesome as well.
But what I am speaking of is the deep heart penetration that a man can offer a woman in his surrender to himself.
That revealing he can gift a woman with when he drops his guards and trusts, if just for a moment in time her presence.
Allowing himself to be grounded there with her.
Giving himself permission to breathe and recieve her light.
Yes this is the deep penetration that I desire to expand,
And this week has gifted me with quiet a few moments that ignite this desire.
This week has offered me just this level of depth with the masculine and it makes me crave more.
To witness the playful heart of a man as he steps himself into feeling his turn on,
As he embraces his love for what appears to be just out of reach.
To listen to the divine masculine speak its truth about his pain of not being enough,
About not feeling appreciated,
And his truth in his desire for so much more in life.
To feel the juiciest of his passion,
His hunger to conquer and be seen fully.
This is the masculine I love deeply.
This is the masculine that arouses me at a soul level and has me craving.
I fucking love men.
When they are actually men.
Because you see a man who is all of this yumminess,
Is a man that drops me into surrender.
A man who can conquer me in the moment of passion because he knows how to penetrate me not just enter me.
And THIS is rare.
Most men enter a woman and believe that’s penetration.
And then wonder why thier woman will not soften or surrender.
Why she will not TRUST him.
Or let herself fully be seen and expressed.
But I tell you,
Its because he has not learned how to truly penetrate.
Not his woman.
Not his purpose.
Not this world.
And means he has no clue of what it means to be a man.
A conscious, dynamic, powerful man.
He is eternally stuck in boyhood.
Playing the victim in his life.
Blaming and feeling jealous.
Anxious and uncomfortable with his heart.
When a man discovers his worthiness and learns to truly love himself,
This all changes however.
And this is the masculine I love.
This is the masculine who turns my soul on.
Men are wonderful.
Men are so desirable.
Men when they are conscious and mature,
When they know how to play and make love to life,
Are the divine masculine.
The healing agent.
The leaders and fathers,
The lovers and protectors,
That our world so desperately needs.
I fucking love men.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “
Are you a man who wants to ignite and penetrate the feminine and this world like I shared above but have little idea as to how to do this?
Reach out now and let’s discuss 1:1 opportunities now.

I HAVE DECIDED THAT MY NEW PROFESSION IS TO BE AN ENERGY DOMINATRIX.

I HAVE DECIDED THAT MY NEW PROFESSION IS TO BE AN ENERGY DOMINATRIX.

 

Sounds fun.

I mean I know that it is fun,

because many of my “work” days….

if you can call them that…

they are more play days because energy is fucking fun,

are just about that.

 

Dominating people’s energy.

Manipulating it you could say,

and then teasing it,

playing with the quantum field that is all around all of us and that we are manifest from.

 

Energy is playful.

Energy does not react well to being forced into some tight container where it cannot flow.

Sure when you constrict energy you certainly create a surge,

but that surge often does not come out the way that we desire it too,

and it is most often not playful.

Let alone sexy.

 

We humans have been taught to hold our shit together at all cost.

To not feel because it will make us vulnerable.

To not reveal our emotions because we will not be taken seriously.

We have been taught, brainwashed into believing that we are to constrict our energy.

We have been told that this is the proper, safe and mature thing to do.

 

When in truth what this containment of our energy does is the direct opposite to the desired reaction.

 

IT CREATES ENERGETIC IMMATURITY.

 

We never learn how to manage our energy.

How to hold it.

How to feel it.

How to direct and guide it.

Leaving us feeling scared of who we are and our power.

Making us separate from our truth and feel lost, abandoned in life.

 

And all because we never were trained on the importance and power of our energy.

Let alone the simple fact that we are all energy beings.

 

Science today is finally catching up to ancient spirituality.

Thank heavens.

And it is proving that thought creates emotion,

it is proving that our consciousness directs events and actual energy flow.

We can heal ourselves and the world with our consciousness or we can destroy it.

 

Our desire to control the situation,

to control others and the end results,

our desire to have a timeline and know what to expect,

our desire to have problems and make logical sense out of everything,

is evidence of how disconnected we humans are still from our souls.

From God/Source.

And thus from our truth.

And our truth is that we are fucking powerful.

The same consciousness that created universes moves through each of us and is wanting to expand.

 

Expansion of energy is not about forcing God into a human sized box of control.

 

Harnessing your energy has nothing to do with squishing it into some perfect package that society has told you it needs to be in nor avoiding your feelings and emotions,

avoiding your beautiful heart center.

 

Expansion and harnessing energy means to tap into your heart,

to feel your desires fully, accept where your life and vibration is at, look at what you need to do to bring your vibration into a matching frequency with what you desire,

and LET THE FUCK GO!

 

Play with your life.

Play with your power.

Let play and fun rule your world,

meaning ENJOY LIFE.

 

This is how you manipulate energy and design the life of your dreams.

 

You want that lover in your bed.

The money in your bank.

The health.

The freedom in your time.

 

Well the only way to get it is to learn how to enjoy the life that you are living today and to play with your day, your energy, and lean into letting go of your need to control everything and get it all right.

 

You will never be done.

Do you get that?

 

You are never going to be done until you are six feet under.

Then, then you will be released from this physical bondage where you are learning how powerful you are.

Once released from that bondage, you KNOW how powerful you are.

But this life that you are so terrified of living,

so scraed of fucking up in,

this life needs you to love it and enjoy it so that it can provide you with tons of opportunities to love it and enjoy it.

 

Otherwise you will exist all your days here on earth living with the energetic immaturity that keeps landing you into pain and suffering, loss and abandonment, fear and lack of worth, as well as not knowing how to deal with self and emotions.

 

You see when I say that my new professional title should be energy dominatrix,

What I am saying is that I help my beautiful fellow souls access their power through them learning how to surrender and trust me to guide the energy that they have held constricted and been fearful of feeling for years into a state of full being processing.

Where they get an opportunity to witness themselves in a fresh light,

and feel.

 

Yes they move from the armoured up, tense, stressed and anxious soul who is hiding from their greatness into an individual who knows who the fuck they are and is in love with themselves, their lives, their past and sees the path before them because they finally get that they are the architecht who is designing it.

 

They learn to surrender to themselves.

Surrender to their truth.

Surrender to enjoyment.

 

PLAY.

 

and they smile more.

they laugh more.

they sex whole heartedly more.

they penetrate the world with who they really are and the world receives them fully and grants them that turned on, ignited fuck yes life where all those who are still blind to thier power and caught up in their egos and thoughts stand back and say,

 

“They are so lucky.”

 

But it is not luck.

It is creation.

And they learn how to do it by letting go of all that shit that they have been holding on to and that has been weighing them down.

 

They let it go on my integration table.

They let it go in our walks together.

They let it go in our conversations.

They let it go in our deep soulful eye gazing sessions.

They let it go in our holding sessions.

They let it go with tears and laughter,

by being vulnerable and letting me see them.

They let it go and they end up feeling full on who they are.

 

This is where we all are to be my love.

This is the truth.

And in reality,

you don’t need me for any of this.

All you need is to love yourself enough to commit to letting all that shit go once and for all and dare to step out and trust that life has your back.

 

Dare to believe that you are the architect of your life.

Dare to love yourself in full abandon.

 

And play.

 

Because baby you are worthy of it all.

And YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN GIFT IT TO YOURSELF.

 

Now for anyone else out there,

who would like a little assistance,

well I am hear to smack you, kick your ass,

snuggle you as you blow snot in my hair,

watch tears fall from your beautiful eyes,

and build you up in love.

 

That  just requires you being sick and tired of messing around and feeling the way that you do.

 

It’s time to level up your life and say FUCK YES TO YOU!

And let YOU BE SEEN. 

 

I see YOU. 

DO YOU?

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Global peeps reach out about my October Asskickery Program that is happening now. I have only 4 spots still open for this program that will get you some loving smackdown and pick up over 4 weeks of private intensive coaching with me.  Message me for deets.

 

We start October 1st, 2020

 

Local peeps,

you may want a bit more intensity and some hands on.

CHeck out my signature Tantric Integration Bodywork Series where I really am an energy dominatrix 🙂 with your best interest at hand…

Reach out and ask me about Program and opportunities there.

 

*Photo Credit  Dendelion Images – Plano Texas

LIVING FOR SELF.

LIVING FOR SELF.

One of the hardest lessons I keep learning in this lifetime is just this.

The constant reminder that we are truly not here for anyone’s else’s happiness but our own.

Its a difficult lesson,
Because we are trained from our birth forward that putting others feelings, well being and happiness “should” always come before our own.

However the reality is not so.
You will never find happiness or fulfillment in putting yourself on the back burner of your own life.

We are all here for the same reason,
To expand and thrive.
Through our wanting for more in our life experiences we expand the universe.
It is through our conscious creation and desire that life manifests and we create everything that is, that was and ever will be.

We grow this desire and our wanting by experience of all that we do not want for,
Such as lack in any subject area that we want abundance in.

But for us to have the life that we are desiring we MUST become the person who can take hold of it. Meaning WE have to grow ourselves.
We have to become our truest self and get into alignment with out desires.

As vibrational beings this means that we HAVE TOO PUT OUR HAPPINESS FIRST.

No more playing around and taking responsibility for everyone else’s joy while we sit in toxity of giving our last drop of us to this other who at the end of the day cannot even fully gain happiness through our exhaustion.

Sure we can offset anothers sadness or life issues to a degree,
But cannot eternally fix anyone else’s shit.
We cannot actually make anyone else happy for the long haul.

Happiness,
Just like gratitude, love and the feeling of abundance is an inside job. All we can do is assist someone feeling those things in the short term, but if they do not find it within and know thier own worthiness then at the slighted retraction of our energy,
They will fall the fuck apart.

This is how you know that someone has become dependent on your energy.
Not realizing it often when we are in this state of dependence we are actually being what is known as an energy vampire,
One you must feed on the kindness,
The love, the empathy, and even the sadness or anger of another to keep themselves stable in life.

Those who are not acting from thier authentic selves, who are out of alignment with God thus thier own soul and who do not know themselves, love themselves, often are guilty consciously and subconsciously of doing this.

And they can make those around them feel guilty for thier life misery. They will play and toil with others emotions, acting the victim and helpless lost soul just to get thier feeding.

But this is where we all must realize that NONE OF US are here to save anyone else.

And we cannot even help them save themselves if we do not care for self first.

Its just like the speech we have all heard on the airplane at take off about the oxygen masks.

“Put it on yourself first before helping anyone else, including your child.”

This is because you are of zero help if you can’t breathe, if you are passed out or worse dead.

And the same applies to our day to day life and relationships.

You are of zero use if you exhaust yourself to the point of fatigue, disease and illness, depression all under the belief structure that you need to put every other asshole on this planet in front of self.

You MUST LIVE FOR SELF.
You must get selfish and love yourself enough to say no to everyone,
Even when,
Especially when they are playing on your emotions and hoping you will feed them.

Fuck them.
They need to learn how to love themselves enough to align the fuck up to source and not need your beautiful ass anymore.

They need to take fucking responsibility for thier own lives and energy.
For thier emotions.

And stop handing over the reigns to each and every Joe that passes by.

And you my dear,
You need to just do the same.

Its time to take back your power.
Take back your life.
Take back your energy and LOVE YOU.

Because baby you are so worthy of being in alignment and feeling fucking awesome.

You are worthy of living the life that you desire.
You are worthy of happiness, love and abundance.
Well being and satisfaction of who you are.

But you will never get any of this as long as you keep sacrificing your energy for all the vampires that you love.

Stop enabling them,
And start being you.

With all my love on this transitional day.

Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

Want to know how to say FUCK YES TO YOU…
October Asskickery is happening.
Global 1:1 Coaching opportunities to take back your power today.

Reach out for deets.

Photo credit

DandelionImages

 

HOLDING SPACE FOR SELF AND DESIRES IS F-CKING HARD SH*T!

HOLDING SPACE FOR SELF AND DESIRES IS F-CKING HARD SH*T!
Man is it ever.
And most people are not strong enough to do just that.
They want to sorta throw up all their desires and fears on anyone who will listen.
Especially their fears.
And then later ,
IF they are doing internal work they want to share, share, share their desires.
All because they are learning to “speak their truth.”
And you know what?
That is true.
Anyone of us who have ventured down this path of self-awareness and love knows how hard it is to learn harmony in this boat of new found territory where we are given permission to ASK FOR WHAT WE WANT.
And it seems that we should be able to just ask,
and then any logical soul knows that whomever we are asking of will then answer.
And in a perfect world they will answer the way that WE WANT THEM TOO….
Every time of course.
LOL.
Okay maybe not every time but most of the time, right?
Because if we are feeling this,
then certainly they are as well.
And if we are both feeling this,
then it just makes sense that it can easily happen.
However, often this is not the case.
Often even if everyone feels it, thinks it and may want it,
frequently the universe has set a different course for the time being and we have to learn the lesson of ACCEPTANCE.
Turning our expectations that we claim we do not have,
but secretly always do,
into acceptance of what is and that we are always being given EXACTLY what we need in life at any given moment.
And you know what?
That right there is some hard a*s sh*t!
But it is worth it.
When we are accessing new areas of self,
becoming more embodied,
awake as some would say.
and present in life and who we are,
At first it is a beautiful land of mystery.
There Is adventure and sizzling, scary yet fun highs and lows that we easily become almost addicted to.
We learn to ride our waves of pain and pleasure,
because we start to understand this is so opening to our truth.
And it feels phenomenal to surf through these new waters and learn SELF.
The adventure of birthing into ourselves is a powerful, yummy experience.
Although not always fun.
It carries with it pain and agony.
We learn that inorder to grow and expand that we have to let go of somethings that no longer serve us,
and sometimes that can even mean relationships that we cherish.
Or jobs that pay our bills.
Because even though we enjoy them,
they are not feeding our souls journey any longer and holding on only means that we will sink our own ship.
This is some hard a*s sh*t to move through!
But it is worth it.
Then we have the internal world of our emotions.
OMFG! Don’t even let me get started here.
This subject of our human experience is among the hardest of the hard sh*t.
And that is because we are never taught how to hold space.
Not truly for someone else,
and most certainly not for self.
We get derailed by our ego’s at every corner of our path.
At first we chitter chat in our heads about fairness,
lostness, how we wish for this or that,
then when the pity party of the inverted ego starts to wear down we turn to,
look at what I am doing and how far I have come.
Pat myself on the back,
cause no one else is here to do it.
Or let me spout off about my good work,
my good deeds,
etc. etc.
The work of the extraverted ego here.
And we bounce around with our pride and our happiness.
But when no one notices right back to the inverted ego we go.
Holding those unannounced expectations on others still.
Catching ourselves.
Witnessing our ego’s is some hard AF sh*t.
And you know what is a hundred times more challenging?
Giving yourself GRACE.
COMPASSION for self to be human.
Say what?
Now I know that I have lost my marbles somewhere here in my kitchen on this rainy day.
Compassion for self?
Seriously.
May sound nice,
but there is no way that we can do that, right.
I mean I don’t want to let myself off the hook.
I am an awakened soul.
I am growing and want to make sure that I don’t mess up.
Mmmmmhmmmmm….
just like every other self proclaimed awakened soul.
But here is a little news flash my dear awakening soul,
YOU ARE STILL HUMAN.
And being human means that you may ultimately know everything,
because God consciousness does reside inside of you and moves through you,
the consciousness that creates universes is in you.
But you only get to be perfect and 100% accurate when you are in full alignment with God.
That is when you are on point.
And in order to do this,
you have to learn how to hold space for self which simply means that you have to learn how to not get trapped in your stinking thinking, criticizing and pity.
You have to not let yourself overthink everything.
You have to learn to hold your emotions in love like you would a precious baby,
without a need to try to do anything but hold them,
love them,
and APPRECIATE them.
This is ACCEPTANCE.
And this my dear is what we all must practice surrendering to each and every day of our human lives.
Because when we practice this we are practicing compassion,
GRACE for self.
And if you are looking for grace from anything else,
including God,
then check your expectations.
God always gives you grace.
God always gives you unconditional love.
God always trusts you to do what feels best to you.
God never turns away from you.
Can you say that you do the same for yourself?
Bet not.
And guess how you get into alignment with God?
Yeppers,
by gosh by golly I think you may have guessed it correctly.
By offering the same to self.
And to others second.
And that is some hard AF Sh*t to do!
But it is worth it.
You are worth it.
God knows this.
It is time though for you to KNOW THIS.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Many years ago I learned how to witness these hard AF things in self, and I spent a few years highly challenged by them. But after practicing and practicing, what I learned and was able to achieve was priceless.
Today what used to take me months and even years to move through I can successfully move through in hours or minutes even.
Can you imagine how much more fulfilling and fun life could be if you did not have to fill your mind and heart with so much chaos and worry?
Let me teach you my secrets.
reach out to me about 1:1 and online events now.

 

 

 

 

THE ABSENCE OF WHO I AM, REALLY SUCKS!

THE ABSENCE OF WHO I AM, REALLY SUCKS! 🤯🤯🤯

 

Hating on self?

Or maybe you say that you don’t hate yourself.

You don’t dislike yourself even,

you are just frustrated.

Irritated.

Down on self because you are not feeling great in your skin.

 

And I get it.

I truly do.

We all go through these times.

 

And hey here is a little secret for you….🤫

I am currently in one of those moments in life where I am a bit down on myself. I am not in this moment in love with my body.

I am not in love with how I am feeling in my own skin,

and I am having issues looking myself in the mirror.

and even feeling sexy.

 

I sorta feel a bit grossed out by myself.

The way I got here is not really important.

And that is a tough concept to get through our human minds,

because we want to have our reasons, we want to analyze and figure out the reason behind the problem.

But that will never get the solving that we desire of the problem.

Because we are stating that we have a problem to begin with instead of just letting go of all this self-judgement and turning back to our truth.

Now it is important to be aware of habit changes,

of sabotaging thing that we have introduced into our lives,

into our thoughts and emotions,

that may be contributing to the support of this self-disgust.

The reality is that you can say that you love yourself all damn day long but if you are not loving your body enough to get it moving and consuming healthy foods, staying hydrated and getting enough sleep,

plus if you are choosing to stay in toxic relationship that are not feeding your heart and soul,

and you are not leaning into YOU…

then you simply are lieing your f-cking ass off to yourself about loving yourself.

 

You have to fall in love with yourself.

You have to own up to your power and stop making yourself so damn small.

Stop fearing the impressive, expansive person that YOU ARE.

 

And that my love is why you are so full of this yuckiness to yourself.

👉The reason that you don’t like yourself is because you’re not up to speed with yourself. 🛸🤯💃

 

You got that love?

YOU WERE BORN TO BE MARVELOUS.

You were created powerful, worthy and came into this world knowing such,

but it got stolen from you by the “good” lessons that your parents and the adults in your life taught you,

what society and school/church showed you,

and you started to believe that you were not powerful, worthy and abundant.

 

You started to believe that your light was dim.

and this means that you let go of being marvelous.

And that my dear was YOU.

 

So now the absence of you, really sucks!

It really does not have you feeling your best.

You are struggling to look into the mirror or make eye contact.

You are feeling frumpy and negative,

hating on your fleshy suit and hating on who you have allowed yourself to become.

 

When the answer to your problem…

if you want to call it that…

cause us humans love to solve problems, right?

 

Is that the reason that you are not liking yourself,

let alone in love with yourself ( an me too here),

is because you’re not ALLOWING yourself to be yourself.

You have cast your truth out.

 

And you sit back in your disgust over who you are right now,

and you maintain powerful focus on what needs to change, needs fixed, where you f-cked it all up at.

 

The worst thing that you can do though is just this.

Holding yourself in focus and finding a critical thought about you.

Because that action,

that manifestation that you are creating,

 

TAKES YOU AWAY FROM WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

 

And you are powerful AF!

You are deserving.

You are beautiful and strong.

You are courageous and loving.

You are intuitive and caring.

You are worthy and abundant.

 

That is who you are.

That is what you are to be living, RIGHT NOW!

 

And it is up to only you love to take yourself from this absence of self and get the f-ck lined back up.

Synchronize to your TRUTH.

YOUR SOUL.

 

GOD.

Here is where you will fall in love with you and become mesmerized by staring into your own eyes,

lost in the sea of you.

You will be captivated at your heart and your beauty and you will not just think that you are worthy,

you will KNOW without a doubt that you are,

because your soul knows.

Your souls never has questioned your worthiness or your power.

That is why you are feeling so bad love,

because you are questioning what your soul deeply is certain of.

 

And when you come back to YOU and who YOU REALLY ARE,

well that is when whatever the problems you are having with your body and life right now, will just wash away with ease.

 

Time to start loving on the most important person in your world wouldn’t you say?

 

And STOP trying to be all this or that for everyone else that is not you.

 

With all my love, beautiful.

Remember Who You Are.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to know more about living an abundant life?

Want to know the secrets to overcoming these little obstacles that can turn into mountains if left in the corners of our minds and rustling around in our energy? Reach out to me about my Asskickery Month of Private 1:1 Global Coaching now, where I will share with you how to overcome and have success in one subject area of your life in the next 4 to 6 weeks.

YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN.

YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN.
Goodbye.
To you and you and you…..
“So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu
So long, farewell, au revoir, auf wiedersehen.
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye
I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye
Goodbye!
I’m glad to go, I cannot tell a lie
I flit, I float, I fleetly flee, I fly.”
THAT’S IT!
And so we must part.
And part repeatedly we do.
Yet you long to hold me here in this moment,
forever captured by your desires.
But, neither of us can expand as long as we hold so tight.
Our power, our freedom and happiness,
comes from letting go.
Each moment that we are alive,
we are always transforming,
expanding or shrinking,
longing to be close, to merge and entwine,
or push away and fly free in who we are in the moment.
Goodbye feels permanent.
It is like the feeling of death, is it not?
And so we strive to avoid it.
We fear it.
And we try our damndest to make sure that things remain the same.
However in our attempts to keep all the same,
we destroy the beauty of our lives,
of our relationships,
we squash what was so dear.
And we then sit back and wonder why we feel such suffering.
We question why things went the way they did,
and why those that we wanted to hold precious to us turned and walked away without notice.
The answer my dear is in your desire to control.
To prevent your own pain.
You fear goodbye.
You fear transformation.
You fear your growth and the expansion of others.
You are living so far from your truth and from God in this moment that you cannot feel the love that is in store for you.
Love does not fear change or growth.
Love knows that this is an attraction based universe,
not a universe based on exertion and force of your will over everything.
Love knows no suffering.
Love never feels alone or jealous.
Love does not point fingers of blame and hatred.
Love does not look for reasons to not be love anymore but in turn become anger or drama.
There are things that we can be certain of in this life of ours.
1) All things change. Movement and expansion is a guarantee.
2) Everything is energy and operating at a frequency of its own.
3) You attract and keep in your sphere of vibration ONLY those things that are the same frequency, all other things will cause disturbance and cause separation between you and them.
Put simply,
Goodbye simply means that the energy was no longer there.
And goodbye is one of the most beautiful blessings that we are given in our lives.
It allows for all parties to be true to themselves if open to it.
We get what we need from the time spent together and then when our energies no longer connect ( vibe at the same frequency) we are set free from the engagement.
This is far from a sad event.
No matter what we are speaking of, may that be an intimate relationship, a friendship, a job or career, a home or car, etc.
This letting go of anything is only creating an opportunity for ALL PARTIES involved to move forward toward their highest and best version and experiences instead of being forever trapped with something that no longer serves their best self.
Can you imagine being trapped as a twelve year old you? Just held in all time as that version of self, with all the bondage that you most likely felt from family and society? Having longings and desires, wanting for more but knowing that you would never be able to have any of it because here is where you are eternally?
Sounds like hell, right?
And your suffering would be far greater than that of saying goodbye to your greatest love even.
Every moment that you are living.
Every person that you come in contact with,
every thought that you think and feeling that you have.
Changes who you are.
And you are never the same person you were just moments ago.
Therefore you are always saying goodbye to a version of you and to a version of whomever you are moving through life with.
Although these changes are subtle,
over time they transform us.
And create the energy gorge between us and others.
Our holding on to old versions of self and of others only causes damage to our souls expansion.
Because it creates separation between our TRUTH which is linked to God, and our life experience ( what we are perceiving here and now). This is where our anger and pain will stem from.
When we are feeling such anger and pain, blame, jealousy, worthlessness and fear we are being offered the gift of realization that we are NOT IN ALIGNMENT TO SELF.
Self is God in essence.
God consciousness moving through us.
Spirit. The divine.
And to be aligned to self,
knowing self which is pure love,
shows our alignment to God.
We cannot be aligned to God when operating from ego/fear.
And this causes constriction in the physical body and world ( our life experience).
We will start to experience chaos,
negative events, frustration and suffering.
Signs of separation.
You are powerful.
We all are powerful and worthy.
And we access this power through letting go in love not fear.
We reconnect ourselves to self and God by looking the demons of fear in the eyes and telling them to be gone,
that they are not our truth.
They are not of God.
They are not of self.
And we turn our focus to love.
To appreciation for EVERYTHING that was shared with us in moments past.
We focus in on the beauty,
the expansion and the greatness of what we have learned.
All relationship…
All relationships transform and change and say goodbye.
We all will say goodbye to each other in big ways and small ways in this lifetime.
Nothing is forever.
It was not designed to be such,
and you would ultimately not be fulfilled and happy if it all remained the same.
Look at your life,
at those in your world,
in your vibrational sphere.
And ask yourself,
” Am I holding onto this energy in love or fear?”
“Am I grasping for it wanting to control it? Or am I breathing into it and allowing it to wash through me, whirl around me and carry me to my next highest level of self?”
One is ego based.
One is aligned to God and self.
You get to choose your path and write this chapter of your novel.
What does this chapter close like?
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Want to explore the soul’s code to love, happiness and abundance? Reach out to me for my Asskickery Month of Coaching Special available globally 1:1 NOW!

What Fear, Anxiety and Pain Are Saying To You.

My heart felt like it was being crushed.

My chest had a weight on it that no matter how I tried to calm my breathing,

no matter the stretching and massaging that I provided my chest,

the pressure and constriction simply would not stop.

There was this low grade level of anxiety rising in my system as I could feel my body fighting with me.

 

But why was this happening?

I was not fearful of travel.

I was not feeling out of sorts with my lover who was sitting right there with me.

There was nothing that I could consciously come up with in this moment that would support the pain that I was in.

 

Fast forward a few hours….

 

We had landed. Gotten our car. And made it to the fauntleroy ferry in West Seattle. I was feeling far calmer now then just a few hours prior in the Uber ride to the airport.

 

However as soon as our Jeep rolled onto the ferry and we got parked the overwhelming feelings of being crushed and the anxiety made themselves known again.

 

Breathing deep as I could in the moment I quickly walked myself to the upper deck of the ferry and called my breath as I looked out over the harbor to Vashon Island. The wind encompassed me with the soft smell of sea salt in it,

the waves crashed up against the sides of the ferry, the sun let me feel delicate moments of warmth on the skin that was revealed and here I was in this moment,

 

crumbling.

 

There was no reason in this moment to stand here on this ferry and cry,

yet the tears came anyway.

And as they did the release into whatever was holding in my chest and begging me to let it go left with them.

 

Here on the ferry overlooking the water I surrendered to the unknown.

I let myself go into what logically made no sense.

 

I was happy.

I was excited to share my love of Washington with my lover for a few days.

I was feeling relaxed until I was not.

And my mind wanted answers.

My mind wanted to become Sherlock Holmes and figure it all out,

make reason for the pain,

the fear,

and my holding of it.

 

But my soul and heart understood its truth.

 

My body and mind had been arguing you could say.

They were not in alignment.

And THAT is what was causing me to suffer.

 

 

WIthout realizing it I was not surrendering to the beauty and release of this trip.  I was holding onto an old concept,

I was holding onto the version of me who used to live here in Seattle all those years ago and STRUGGLE in life.

who missed so much of the greatness of this place.

 

Here I was 15 years later, holding onto these fragments of self.

Not letting myself release fully into who I have become.

Who I have grown into being and the life that I have today.

 

The fear of the old me was actually creating physical pain in the current.  The old thought programs and beliefs around money and relationships that I use to try to exist in life were being unmasked in my energy and my current state of who I AM was being asked by my old sabotaging thoughts and ideas to lay down and shut up.

 

HA!

 

And here was the significant constriction that I was feeling.

The feeling like I could not breathe.

The feeling like my chest was going to explode and my ribs were being broken from the inside out.

The agony in my gut.

And the intense headache that came with it all as my whole being just wanted to flee the idea of this trip I had planned.

 

I was not surrendering to me.

I was not surrendering to this moment.

I was not surrendering to life or what it was blessing me with.

And I was not surrendering all because of an old concept and old beliefs that were trying to make themselves current.

 

I was out of alignment.

 

The issue with my alignment was causing me the pain and the fear.

 

The only thing that could save me was my own surrender into the depths of the unknown,

into self.

into this moment.

into this experience.

into life and what it was offering me.

And as I did so,

the tears streamed down my face,

the wind whipped itself around me,

the waves crashed against the ferry boat,

the sun shone through the clouds and asked to warm my skin,

and I took a deep breath letting it all go.

 

My world was right again.

My body let go of everything that it was holding,

and it let go of the need to falsely try and control what it could not control.

It let go of this moment in life and allowed the moment to JUST BE.

 

BEAUTIFUL.

Without question.

Without a need to know what was going to come next.

Without the need to hold onto the moment and ask that it never change or leave.

My SOUL was again in the driver’s seat,

and in it I was aligned.

Fully feeling.

Fully embracing.

And ENJOYING.

 

Some would look at moments like this or times that they feel these same constrictions and fears, anxiety and “gut reactions” as signs to turn and go another direction.

and sometimes they can mean just that for sure,

However often they are signs that we are on the tipping edge of everything that we desire to be birthed into our world and our old versions of self are there testing us.

Asking us if we are sure that we truly want everything that we have proclaimed that we do.

 

Many people at this moment misread what their body, mind and emotions are speaking to them and they turn away from EVERYTHING.

 

They will say,

“That’s just too risky.”

“I need to see it to believe it.”

“I need to know that this person is as invested as I am.”

” I don’t want to hurt so and so or get hurt.”

“Timing is wrong, I can feel it.”

 

And they step away from life.

They step away from some of the best moments of living.

They turn away from the experiences that will grow them into that next version and they do it all in the name of “having a feeling.”

 

They do it based on logic.

They do it because they look at the suffering and pain,

the anxiety as a symbol that THIS IS NOT THE PATH.

When that is not at all what is being said.

 

Your SOUL is saying this FEAR that you are having right now is here telling you that THIS….

 

THIS is the perfect path that will transform you into that next beautiful version of who you were born to become.

This fear that you are having is here because you have control issues and life is not for controlling, it is here for you to love and enjoy,

and in your loving and enjoying of each delicate moment and your release into the unknown you BIRTH YOURSELF.

 

And you BECOME.

 

But you must SURRENDER.

In the small moments as well as the big ones.

Because the universe/God is not looking at the size of the moments,

but at your ability to be in alignment with SOURCE.

 

IN ALL.

 

That is the meaning of FAITH.

That is having CERTAINTY that you will always get what you want for and need.

That is how you make MAGICK in your life and THRIVE.

 

Can you surrender to life?

We are all being asked to do just this.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Message me for deets on the Magick Minute.

LOVE SHOULD BE PERFECT.

LOVE SHOULD BE PERFECT.

 

And yet it never is.

 

A long time ago when I was living in Seattle, Washington I was attending a church in Kent with a pastor that I adored. I learned so much from Pastor Jack. He was focused on teaching the congregation about blessings, about our glory and how that translated into the law of attraction.

 

I still make use of his teachings today with my clients almost daily and in my shares here with you as well.

 

Among my favorite things he shared were,

 

“More than enough with plenty left over.”

 

Which always commanded in the belief and feeling that we are always provided for,

that we always have more than enough in the things that we need with plenty left to share.

And that the leftovers are there for us to do just that …..SHARE.

 

And then his other reminder of truth that I have kept in my heart and mind all these years was focused toward relationships….

 

The relationship of marriage.

 

And in today’s world,

which even though greatly different than that of just 15 years ago when Pastor Jack was preaching his wisdom to me,

is still all the same.

 

His words of truth were simple.

 

“Marry your best friend.”

 

Those words made me look at my marriage,

and perhaps were words that supported me to divorce a few years later.  Although back then I would have felt the need to confirm that I was best friends with my then husband,

the reality was not that we were best friends.

 

We got along on a ton of items,

but I found that I had to restrict myself in so many ways,

and that was not friendship,

and certainly not best friends.

 

When I am working with couples today in my coaching practice many come to me troubled and on the cusp of a breaking up because of so many things…

 

*Not enough sex or bad sex.

*Financial issues.

*Abuse of one kind or another.

*Affairs.

*Lack of sexual desire.

 

 

And most couples will start off their tale by telling me that they are best friends with their spouse,

that they can tell them anything,

that they have fantastic communication.

But….

 

fill in the blank from above list here.

 

They believe that if they had more sex/better sex or a stronger desire for their partner,

if they were physically attracted more to them,

if they had more money in the bank,

or what have you that their marriage would be perfect.

 

Now the reality is that if you are in an abusive relationship ( no matter what that looks like) that chances are you need to get out of it because an abusive partner often does not see their wrong and change,

if you are in a relationship that has suffered from infidelity,

There can be work done and you can repair it and even come back stronger than ever before if love and communication/friendship is at the front stage of both parties minds.

 

The desire for more sex, better sex or having more desire for your partner… .these things can be detrimental if the friendship and love are not there first and if both parties are not open to raw, real discussions based in truth and love to work on these challeneges,

but if both parties are wanting the connection and can be emotionally mature to take responsibility for self and speak their truth and work together on these items,

then you can have a deeply strong bond and the sex and desire can grow from it.

 

The relationships that come to me wanting these things,

often have one MAJOR obstacle however…

 

One partner is stubborn and refuses to see the truth.

Refuses to take the matter seriously or take the time and effort required to build this part of the relationship. They don’t believe that it is their problem and that the other partner is to blame for it and needs the fixing.

 

However that is never the case.

Relationships are always a two way street.

It always requires both people to want to connect and come together. It requires both parties to take responsibility for themselves and to not get caught up in their old wounds from the past.

 

Unfortunately, this is where the relationship breaks down.

People often don’t want to do this.

They want the easy street and they say,

“Love should be easy.”

“Love should be perfect.”

 

We are all human.

And there is no such thing as the perfect human.

If you have a list of fifty qualities that you want and count highly important in a mate,

and you believe that you will get ALL of these qualities in one person and until you get them all that you will not settle,

I ask you to look in the mirror and ask of yourself if you exhibit all fifty of them yourself?

 

You are never going to find someone who is 100% of those qualities a hundred percent of the time.

 

They are human.

You are human.

And life changes and transforms us.

Some qualities can be developed over time.

Some are just there and a natural part of who we are,

some are based on energetic connections,

while others have everything to do with our gene pool.

 

If you are counting any of these qualities as love though,

you are mistaken.

 

Qualities do not define love.

 

They add to love.

They sweeten the pot.

 

Love is something that you cannot explain,

nor does it need to be explained.

It just is.

And when it is felt on both sides now you have something special.

 

LOVE COMES FROM BEING ABLE TO BE YOURSELF WITH SOMEONE ELSE, UNMASKED.

 

When we can do this with someone,

we feel acceptance and love for self and it translates to “loving someone else” because we see the reflection of what we are feeling for self as what we see coming or going toward another.

 

When we “fall in love” or catch feels for someone,

what is actually happening is that we are witnessing ourselves in love. We are falling in love with self and this other person is simply helping us see our own beauty.

 

That is why the best friend statement is so powerful.

In friendship there is an acceptance, an unconditional love.

It goes past all that life can change for us,

like our physical bodies appearance,

our health or financial status,

it looks past our ups and downs and even past the chemical connectors that we have on the front side of a romantic relationship that over the course of three to five years diminish and change.

 

But for some reason, we humans believe that love should be perfect.

That these connecting chemicals should ALWAYS be there,

that the energy and excitement of the first kiss is the way that we will remain throughout all of time,

that the person who is standing before us perfect in their skin of today will never change,

that the feelings that we are having will just remain unwavering.

Or that if we do not have all these sudden rushes of ignition but that we do deeply care and connect in all other ways that this is not or cannot be real love.

That it is “ONLY FRIENDSHIP” and we in turn lower it to that level and get frustrated that we cannot find Mr. or Mrs. Perfect that checks all of our boxes on our list of fifty all of the time.

 

And so we remain living in search of something that has been offered to us repeatedly.  Believing that if we explore,

if we open ourselves to the love that is there before us and go as deep as we can with it that we are settling,

we are giving up,

that if they don’t have everything that they are not Mr. or Mrs. Perfect and instead are a waste of our precious time.

 

What we are doing to ourselves in this is denying ourselves the beauty of discovery of love.

 

Love is a quest of self.

Love is about finding out who we really are through our relating with another.

It is about meeting all aspects of self,

and without relationship we will never meet our authentic selves at any depth.

 

When we continue to look for perfection in a mate,

What we are actually saying is that we ourselves are not worthy of our own love until we become PERFECT as well.

 

So how will you ever find Mr. or Mrs. Perfect if you prevent yourself from growing into your whole beautiful self by denying  love to be birthed through a relationship with another imperfect human who is there as your teacher of self love?

 

Chances are your relationship with anyone will not last  in a forever sense.

 

That reality although harsh is still a reality.

We outgrow each other,

and as we change sometimes our mates choose a path of slower or limited growth that creates a breaking point in the relationship,

but if we have come together in friendship and love,

then even the parting is done in the same fashion.

And we each can gain what we need for our own development.

 

It’s time that we start to view relationships and even marriage as the opportunity to explore self and learn to love deeply through the witnessing of another that rivets us deeper into our truth.

 

Love is always perfect.

It is always perfect for the moment that the relationship is in.

It is never easy,

but it can always be in flow with who we are.

 

We create our own obstacles to feeling it by trying to make it perfect in every moment and getting irritated with the reality that love, true love requires each party to grow in connection with self first.

 

Where does your love stand?

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn more about how self-love helps create the grounds to call in your soulmate love today? Reach out to me today for deet’s on 1:1 coaching now.

Wanting To Be Washed Over and Scared To Death Of It.

One of those days when my energy goes to left field…

 

 

Or maybe it’s right field.

Or maybe right at the pitcher.

IDK.

It’s always interesting though on days like this where I feel the arousal of life moving through me,

I feel the hunger to devour every moment,

and the tugs of the past that will always sway around in my soul, reminding me of what I thirst still for.

 

On days like today,

the universe is quick to remind me of my energetic connections,

of how those fleeting yet powerful thoughts evoke response,

and how quick I can manifest many opportunities into my life to experience everything that I am thirsting for.

 

This quenching comes through multiple sources however,

and me being human just like you want it the way I want it and all in one package.

 

Even though I fully understand, appreciate and even value the multiple packages that can show up in my life,

There are some things that I crave for that I JUST WANT IN THE WAY I WANT.

 

And I know without a doubt that I can have them too.

I have tasted of these delicacies before.

I have been overtaken by the depth of fulfillment that can be experienced all from one source.

And it is truly intoxicating.

 

AND I WANT THAT!

 

I don’t really have a ton of patience to wait for it.

I question if I am just wasting time,

settling,

or if I just imagined it before.

Or perhaps the truth is that those sorts of things only come once in life,

and when gone they leave us with this beautiful suffering of knowing that it will never be again.

 

Perhaps they are only so lovely as to walk through our lives because of the deep pain that they bare on our soul.

 

Or perhaps,

they are there to make us question ourselves, or to learn how to be better. As if to present a lesson for us to spend the rest of our days unraveling.

 

IDK.

 

I truly don’t know.

But what I do know is that these blessed little and big moments  in my life are a feast that I will always run toward and sit at the table of.

 

I know that when presented I am eager and hungry to explore IF….

 

and perhaps, this is yet another one of those life moments that  will forever leave its mark,

and no matter how deep it may scratch into my flesh and heart,

I know for sure one thing.

IT IS WORTH IT.

 

How can something that can be such an achilles heel to us be worth anything other than pain and cause us anything other than a major stumbling block in our life?

 

These things can be like quicksand to us if we get to caught up in them,

and yet we dive in,

head first.

and we search for them.

 

It is because without them,

without the knowing and the deep dive into the ravines of everything that they offer us,

we will NEVER KNOW OURSELVES FULLY.

and with that we can never know love.

We can never feel that true sense of abandon,

where we surrender into nothingness that is everything.

Where all that we are is seen and unraveled like the lessons that we gain from these moments and people who allow us time to bask in the enjoyment of the experience of life with them.

 

And so we wander through our days,

lost in search for yet this experience again. Ever so hungry to find it,

ever so thirsty to be drowned by it,

and we find our hearts feeling broken.

We find our minds screaming at us in dissatisfaction,

that we are so silly as to be hunting for yet another moment.

 

Trying to convince ourselves that, that was all the sampling of happiness, connection, love and joy that we get for this lifetime.

Giving all of our power over to just this one moment.

And feeling like we have been shredded into a million pieces and no one cares,

no one sees,

no one hears our pleas to be held yet again in this beauty,

this agonizing beauty that we fear and hunger for all in the same.

 

And then,

What do we crazy fickle humans do?

 

We manifest into our lives….

That is what we do.

We call it in and we choose to disregard it.

Because we fear its wrath on our lives.

We fear the pain.

We fear the heartache and the loss.

The death of something.

And so we deny allowing it into formation.

We say no to the very thing that we hunger for.

 

And we choose to sit in agony that we have chosen out of the fear of if we said yes to our dreams and our desires,

if we allowed ourselves to transform and become everything that we need to become to fully merge with this new exploration and blessing,

and we convince ourselves that this sort of suffering is better than the having of yet another altering beautiful moment  that we run the risk of losing somewhere down the road.

And so we sit idle in our today,

and stay that way,

hungry.

 

Never allowing our thirst to be quenched by the waterfalls that can carry us away to our own divinity.

To the uniting of self and love.

To the potential of who we are and how we can dance in the currents of our transformation.

 

Yes this is the journey of the fickle human being.

That you and I  both are.

We will forever be captivated by our hungers,

our wanting and earning,

and to those we must awaken to our nature to torment ourselves in the not having.

 

Because when we seek…

when we ask…

It is always granted.

It is never denied by God/universe.

 

The denying is all up to us.

 

So what will we choose?

 

To have?

Or to have not?

 

It is up to you and it is up to me,

and this is how powerful we truly are.

We have the power to shackle ourselves from EVERYTHING,

yes everything that we want for.

 

What do you choose?

I know my answer.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn how you can one and for all get out of your own way? I get how difficult it can be.

How it feels like there is no way that you can ever achieve the life, the relationship,

the abundance and health that you crave so deeply for.

I understand how easy it is to contribute all that beauty and love from your past to one person,

or experience.

 

But I tell you this,

you are the creator of your life and you are worthy of thriving.

Let me show you the path to living unbound and turned on today.

*Photo Credit @ #DandeLionImages