Wanting To Be Washed Over and Scared To Death Of It.

One of those days when my energy goes to left field…

 

 

Or maybe it’s right field.

Or maybe right at the pitcher.

IDK.

It’s always interesting though on days like this where I feel the arousal of life moving through me,

I feel the hunger to devour every moment,

and the tugs of the past that will always sway around in my soul, reminding me of what I thirst still for.

 

On days like today,

the universe is quick to remind me of my energetic connections,

of how those fleeting yet powerful thoughts evoke response,

and how quick I can manifest many opportunities into my life to experience everything that I am thirsting for.

 

This quenching comes through multiple sources however,

and me being human just like you want it the way I want it and all in one package.

 

Even though I fully understand, appreciate and even value the multiple packages that can show up in my life,

There are some things that I crave for that I JUST WANT IN THE WAY I WANT.

 

And I know without a doubt that I can have them too.

I have tasted of these delicacies before.

I have been overtaken by the depth of fulfillment that can be experienced all from one source.

And it is truly intoxicating.

 

AND I WANT THAT!

 

I don’t really have a ton of patience to wait for it.

I question if I am just wasting time,

settling,

or if I just imagined it before.

Or perhaps the truth is that those sorts of things only come once in life,

and when gone they leave us with this beautiful suffering of knowing that it will never be again.

 

Perhaps they are only so lovely as to walk through our lives because of the deep pain that they bare on our soul.

 

Or perhaps,

they are there to make us question ourselves, or to learn how to be better. As if to present a lesson for us to spend the rest of our days unraveling.

 

IDK.

 

I truly don’t know.

But what I do know is that these blessed little and big moments  in my life are a feast that I will always run toward and sit at the table of.

 

I know that when presented I am eager and hungry to explore IF….

 

and perhaps, this is yet another one of those life moments that  will forever leave its mark,

and no matter how deep it may scratch into my flesh and heart,

I know for sure one thing.

IT IS WORTH IT.

 

How can something that can be such an achilles heel to us be worth anything other than pain and cause us anything other than a major stumbling block in our life?

 

These things can be like quicksand to us if we get to caught up in them,

and yet we dive in,

head first.

and we search for them.

 

It is because without them,

without the knowing and the deep dive into the ravines of everything that they offer us,

we will NEVER KNOW OURSELVES FULLY.

and with that we can never know love.

We can never feel that true sense of abandon,

where we surrender into nothingness that is everything.

Where all that we are is seen and unraveled like the lessons that we gain from these moments and people who allow us time to bask in the enjoyment of the experience of life with them.

 

And so we wander through our days,

lost in search for yet this experience again. Ever so hungry to find it,

ever so thirsty to be drowned by it,

and we find our hearts feeling broken.

We find our minds screaming at us in dissatisfaction,

that we are so silly as to be hunting for yet another moment.

 

Trying to convince ourselves that, that was all the sampling of happiness, connection, love and joy that we get for this lifetime.

Giving all of our power over to just this one moment.

And feeling like we have been shredded into a million pieces and no one cares,

no one sees,

no one hears our pleas to be held yet again in this beauty,

this agonizing beauty that we fear and hunger for all in the same.

 

And then,

What do we crazy fickle humans do?

 

We manifest into our lives….

That is what we do.

We call it in and we choose to disregard it.

Because we fear its wrath on our lives.

We fear the pain.

We fear the heartache and the loss.

The death of something.

And so we deny allowing it into formation.

We say no to the very thing that we hunger for.

 

And we choose to sit in agony that we have chosen out of the fear of if we said yes to our dreams and our desires,

if we allowed ourselves to transform and become everything that we need to become to fully merge with this new exploration and blessing,

and we convince ourselves that this sort of suffering is better than the having of yet another altering beautiful moment  that we run the risk of losing somewhere down the road.

And so we sit idle in our today,

and stay that way,

hungry.

 

Never allowing our thirst to be quenched by the waterfalls that can carry us away to our own divinity.

To the uniting of self and love.

To the potential of who we are and how we can dance in the currents of our transformation.

 

Yes this is the journey of the fickle human being.

That you and I  both are.

We will forever be captivated by our hungers,

our wanting and earning,

and to those we must awaken to our nature to torment ourselves in the not having.

 

Because when we seek…

when we ask…

It is always granted.

It is never denied by God/universe.

 

The denying is all up to us.

 

So what will we choose?

 

To have?

Or to have not?

 

It is up to you and it is up to me,

and this is how powerful we truly are.

We have the power to shackle ourselves from EVERYTHING,

yes everything that we want for.

 

What do you choose?

I know my answer.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn how you can one and for all get out of your own way? I get how difficult it can be.

How it feels like there is no way that you can ever achieve the life, the relationship,

the abundance and health that you crave so deeply for.

I understand how easy it is to contribute all that beauty and love from your past to one person,

or experience.

 

But I tell you this,

you are the creator of your life and you are worthy of thriving.

Let me show you the path to living unbound and turned on today.

*Photo Credit @ #DandeLionImages

Why Being Selfish Is Actually a Good Thing

 cleopatra

Okay folks, here we go! This is one of my favourite topics to talk about – probably because it is the corner stone of a very important life lesson that has been one of the most important in my life thus far. Today we are going to talk about why it’s not only okay, but also why it is essential to your health and wellbeing to be self-’ish’.

Now, before you go all crazy on me and send me angry emails, let me explain what I mean.

As you can see from the graphic I have created above, I have illustrated a spectrum; on one end is selflessness and on the other there is self centeredness. And right in the middle there is selfishness.

Let’s explore these three terms shall we?

Selflessness: This one is a doozy! This term is used to describe someone who has little or no concern for oneself. This is someone who puts others and their needs before their own. They do not consider their happiness to be important, but live to make others happy. This display of altruism is often regarded as pious and honourable. The idea of putting others before yourself is something that is celebrated by some. While it is indeed virtuous to display kindness and generosity to others (I’m not denying this), I want to talk to you about the unhealthy side of selflessness. I want to talk about how, over time, it can actually be the leading cause of burnout and unhappiness in many of our lives.

There are many of us (particularly us women) who have grown up believing that it is important (even essential) to please others and put their needs before our own. This is how many of us have learnt to survive in our relationships – by making others happy. Selflessness has been our ‘currency’ for love and feeling important. This pattern of behaviour, however, has also led us to unhealthy patterns of codependency and the ever life-sucking YES-syndrome.

Do you know what I mean when I say YES-syndrome? It’s when you say yes to everyone else and their needs so often, that you end up saying no to yourself and your needs by default. Worse yet, you become convinced that saying yes to your needs is a bad thing and you feel guilty for any act of self love or self care that you may display.In fact, for some this unbridled benevolence can become pathological to the point of martyrdom. Where some believe that the suffering they feel by putting others first is a righteous thing and that they do not deserve to feel happiness or joy.

To be self-less, implies that there is no self or that you deny yourself. You act as if you do not exist and deny your own wants, needs and desires. To the point that you lose touch with who you really are. Hence why so many of us end up unhappy because we have lost touch with who we are and deprived ourselves of much needed self love and self care. While it is important to love others and show generosity and kindness, it is not healthy to do so to the detriment of oneself.

Selflessness in my opinion, is just as unhealthy as being self-centered.

To be self-centered is the exact opposite of being selfless. It is when you are so self absorbed that you solely focus on your own needs to the detriment of others. This is someone who does what they want and does not care how their actions may affect others. Ironically, the selfless person and the self-centered person make for a match made in dysfunctional relationship heaven!

Now let’s talk about being self-’ish’.

In my mind this is the balance between the two extremes; selflessness and self-centeredness. It is a healthy balance between being considerate of others and their needs, but not sacrificing our own needs. The reality is that if you don’t take care of yourself, you can experience a vast array of health problems, depression, burnout, stress, unhappiness, fatigue, reduced mental functioning, anxiety, frustration, inability to sleep and even death. No joke.

You have to make sure there’s gas in the car if you want to drive it and you can’t get very far driving on fumes.

A great example of this concept is when you fly in an airplane and the flight attendant instructs you to put your oxygen mask on first before helping the person seated next to you. Now for the selfless person, they would think, “But shouldn’t I help the other person first? That seems like the right thing to do.”

The self-centered person thinks, “Heck yeah, I’ll put the mask on myself and only myself. I don’t care about the other person.”

The self-“ish” person puts the oxygen mask on themselves first because they know that they need to take care of themselves to survive. And then, once their needs are taken care of, they can help the person seated next to them. The self-‘ish’ person knows that if you are 10,000ft in the air and run out of oxygen, that they are never going to be able to help anyone else, let along help themselves??!!

All jokes aside, this is an important metaphor for those of us who run around taking care of everything and everyone else except ourselves.

It’s time to ask yourself honestly where you fall on the spectrum. Let go of the excuses and the guilt, and genuinely commit to being more self-“ish”. Because if you are healthy and happy and taken care of, everyone else around you will benefit.

byRachel Corradetti

Why Burn the Bridge?

Change Your World

by Brian Tracy

 

“You cannot change the world,

But you can present the world with one improved person –

Yourself.

You can go to work on yourself to make yourself

Into the kind of person you admire and respect.

You can become a role model and set a standard for others.

You can control and discipline yourself to resist acting

Or speaking in a negative way Toward anyone for any reason.

You can insist upon always doing things the loving way,

Rather than the hurtful way.

By doing these things each day,

You can continue on your journey

Toward becoming an exceptional human being.”

 

maythebridgesRecently I made a status update on facebook that said, “May the bridges I burn Light the way.” A response that I received was, “It would be tough to build a new bridge, why would you burn it?”  We have all heard the advice, Don’t burn your bridges, once burnt you can not cross them again. And this is true! for most cases. Sometimes though we have to STOP and look at what in our life is no longer serving us. What is holding us back? When we analyze this we may be shocked to discover the changes that we need to make. No soul that has ever made a significant impact on the world, a community or even in a business has heeded the advice of not burning a bridge that is no longer serving them. Granted it is wise advice it is also advice that stems from fear based thinking. Instead look at what changes need to unfold and allow the light of the burning bridges to guide your path. The bridges we may choose to burn may be big or small, they may be relationships, commitments that overwhelm us, business ventures that have been crashing for all too long and we have not had the courage to do what is needed, or they may be going cold turkey with a unhealthy habit. No matter if you have been feeling the need to “have the talk with someone” or putting in your resignation, know that true transformation and growth only come to those who have the courage to burn the bridges that are no longer needed.

 

Often we find that once a bridge is burned we can no longer return to the other side, but who wants to step backwards in life anyway?

 

burning-bridgesThere are times that what seems like burning of a bridge is actually not. It is actually the birthing of a new energy in the way we perceive or handle something. Many years ago when I was but a teenager I found myself madly in-love with a young man. We spent many an afternoon planning our future together. Every detail was a accounted for. There was NO WAY that we would ever part ways, life would surly be over if we did. One Spring afternoon my boyfriend came to me, walked with me as he did every day on his work break, we ate, talked and kissed. We walked back to where we would kiss and part for a few more hours and as he stepped onto the bus he was the driver for this day I could feel my heart squeeze tight. Something was different. Something was wrong. He was saying goodbye but not with his words or actions. His energy said it all. He smiled and drove away. I shoved my feelings to the side and went back to work myself. Later that day and for weeks to come I found myself calling him, going to his apartment, checking with his aunt, mother, grandmother, and roommates. Where was he? Was he okay? Alive? Arrested? No one would tell me anything. It was beyond my reason, to imagine that he had just left me without even a goodbye or explanation. We were soul mates. Lovers. Engaged.

 

holdinghandsTears pored from my eyes day in and day out. I could not eat. Sleep or communicate. My world had been shattered. I was depressed, wanted to die without him. I was raged by his weakness to not face me in person. I was scared that something horrible had happened to him. The bridge of our beautiful relationship and life together was on fire. It was burning and there was nothing I could do about it. He had set the fire and I had no way of saving it from turning to ash.

 

Over 10 years went by when one day we were magically brought back together.

 

Both living our lives, married, children, careers. Both still wondering about and loving the other. In our first speaking I knew that the bridge that was burnt had to be for each of us to grow and emerge into the people we are today. I knew that the course of our lives needed the light from that first bridge to help us find our way to a higher vibration. In the end because of the burning of the first bridge we today still find ourselves elevated in love with each other. We find ourselves in a deep relationship of understanding and friendship. The bridge we walk today is far grander  then the one of the past and we are far stronger souls because we allowed the old perceptions of the reality we thought we should have turn to ash and be carried in the winds of time to nurture and fertilize the reality we are living today. It has been over 5 years since the construction of the this new bridge and each day I count my blessings for the light shone to me from the original one’s fire.

 

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, so can our soul paths on this spiritual journey called life.

“God has prepared a path for everyone to follow. You just have to read the omens that he left for you.” The Alchemist

 PhoenixRising