Men Who Can’t Lead and Women Who Can’t Submit

GIVE ME YOUR POWER.
I AM THE MAN AND WHAT I SAY GOES.
 
Another laughable topic of today’s time.
The man who acts like this and believes that he is worthy of respect,
worthy of being followed is a MOFO FOOL.
 
I was speaking with a couple of my female clients over the last few weeks about this topic.
 
The topic of LETTING YOUR MAN LEAD,
and actually SUBMITTING ( following) his lead.
 
It’s hard in today’s time to follow our men,
am I right ladies?
 
Multiple things are at play.
 
First being that we woman have been scorned and hurt so much,
our trust has been breached so damn much that we just are no longer willing to keep opening up our hearts and lives to men who do not have our own best interest in mind.
 
And we simply have come to terms with the fact that we are strong AF and don’t really need a man.
 
ESPECIALLY, if he is just going to use us and toss away or lie to us.
 
For us women, we know we can get the sex we may want pretty easily, granted we get that it won’t be as deep or intimate as we may hunger for,
but it still can be damn good and 80% of our sexual needs met.
And when we are in control of it, then we can get it with limited to no emotional damage.
As for needing a man for money…
yeah well #1, most women today pride themselves in making good money and not needing a man to take care of them that way, we don’t want to owe any man anything so that he can hold it over our head and demand from us what we don’t trust to give or feel like giving.
#2, those who do choose to let men finance them typically have figured out how to be the puppeteers of the men by using sex to get what they want and they have no respect or loyalty to the dude, they just look at it as though its commerce and the guy is damn lucky to be getting it at whatever cost it is.
#3, those who are “in a committed relationship and with kids,” well they bounce between heart and fear of messing up their babies lives with a separation so plot for empty nest times and just put their heads down and wait.
 
The second biggest reason we women can’t submit to men of today is that men don’t have a clue what leadership is in relationship.
 
I tell men all the time that they need to led and they respond back with,
 
” I try but she won’t let me.”
” I don’t know how to do that.”
“I do lead, I am the man and she knows it.”
 
The first statement here is two sided,
men you need to be a man that is worthy of be followed first. That means you need to know yourself,
trust yourself,
be capable of making decisions,
and make consistently good choices.
It means that you need to be a man of your word.
It means that you need to be compassionate and understanding.
It means that you need to take responsibility for your wrongs.
It means that you need to KNOW that you are not always right and that’s okay.
It means that you need to have PURPOSE outside of your woman, money, playtime or even work. ( What is your life mission statement men?)
 
But ladies,
we have to learn how to soften ourselves and offer our men an opportunity to do all these things too. We can’t run around shooting them in the knee over everything and getting pissed that they are trying.
 
We have to open up our hearts just a bit and give them an opportunity to touch them with their desire, love and ideas.
 
We have to drop the tough cookie roles and lean in and let our men practice being a gentlemen.
 
We have to allow and even ask for our needs to be met.
We have to stop telling men what we think they should hear and instead speak our integrity to them, tell them the truth, but tell them in compassion.
 
Ladies we have to WANT to attract a better quality man into our lives and know we are worthy of it.
 
The second statement above,
well guys re-read what I just wrote there!
 
Got it?
Got it?
 
I sure AF hope so.
 
And now the third statement above.
 
“I do lead, I am the man and she knows it.”
 
This is NOT leadership.
This is control.
This will not gain you respect, loyalty or love.
And a strong, confident, intelligent woman will NEVER desire this sort of man.
 
We don’t want to babysit our men.
We don’t want to raise you, that was your mama’s job.
But we sure AF don’t want to be owned by you either.
 
This sort of attitude just show’s how damn insecure you are.
How much you NEED someone else to bow before you to make you feel worthy, strong, powerful.
 
This is not real leadership or even real power.
 
This is weakness and ego.
And the women of today can smell this shiz a mile away.
 
The issue with today’s relationships….
with today’s men and women…
 
Is simple.
 
Men have not properly been taught how to be respectful,
men have not been taught how to know their own worth,
they have not been taught how to love, self or other.
Men have no clue what leadership is.
Men have no idea about life purpose.
And most of you men out there DO NOT KNOW WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
 
Lost sheep in a big world where you were never initiated into your man-hood.
 
Instead were told to take, to belittle, to guilt, to retract your love, to be in ego, to play games and that women were not to be trusted.
 
The masculine is lost.
But so is the feminine.
 
Ladies, its time for us to love our men who are trying.
Show appreciation for the men who work at being gentlemen.
Don’t fight them,
but instead support them.
Don’t instantly jump to the conclusion that all men are trying to hurt us, use us or want something from us.
Ladies, receive the compliment with a THANK YOU.
Let him hold your door open.
Ask a man for help in putting a case of water in your grocery store cart.
Smile at a random stranger.
 
By us women knowing our worth and loving ourselves,
by us women speaking our truth in compassion instead of a power struggle,
we will teach the men.
 
And men GROW THE F-ck UP!
And stop making excuses.
Figure out WHO YOU ARE.
 
Every woman LOVES and DESIRES a man on fire,
who has purpose, confidence and passion for his life and KNOWS himself.
 
This is a man who can LEAD the strongest of women.
 
As Always.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to level up your relationship and learn how to be a leader as a man? Message me for deet’s on my global private coaching today.
 
Today’s musing inspired by
 
Michael Baisden Live

An Ode to the Gentleman.

You say you can hear my smile in my voice.

You say that you want an opportunity to court me.
You say so much…

It is not your words.
It is all in your actions.
In those looks you give me.
The way your lips turn slightly different with your smirk,
The way you take my hand,
the groans that you make when you are close.

You say so much,
in the way you stay present with me.
The way you always make sure to be the gentleman.
You lead me strong.
You lead me with love.

You say that you believe that people grow tired of each other,
and without saying,
you let me know you fear that I will grow tired of you.
You fear that I bore easily.
But your desire for me speaks,
in all the little things.
They do not go unnoticed.

You say that if we did it right,
then we would not grow tired,
because the thing that bores,
is that when two come together they do less than more.

You are right.
And so I lean into your lead.
I lean into all that you say.
With your words.
With your smirk.
With your groans.
With how you hold me.
With how you protect me.
With how you remain present,
and
dance in this beautiful energy.
This energy that we have danced in,
and we have paused from,
and find ourselves back in.

Yes you say so much.
So much I want to hold on too.

So much that causes my heart to quake.
So much that scares me,
because in your presence,
I feel beautiful.

In your arms I feel held.
In your embrace,
I feel loved.

And when you look at me,
with your everyday sultry eye’s,
and smile.
I feel like your queen.

Cherished.
Adored.
and
Desired.

You say so much,
in so many ways.
And it is these things that captivates my soul.
It is these things that ignites my heart.
It is these things that opens me,
Open’s me to your love.

To the man that you are.
The man that I had tried to ignore.
The man that is patiently waiting.
Waiting for me to return,
return that look,
return that smirk,
return that holding,
and surrender,
once more.

To all the gentlemen who remain strong masculine,
leading in love, in compassion, and desire.
To all of you gentlemen, who understand that courting is vital, and leading is your part of the dance.
Thank you.

You are loved and needed.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

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