I CAN’T SEE PAST YOU.

 

I CAN’T SEE PAST YOU.

 

I am going to get real with you, raw with you, vulnerable and share something that scares the shit out of me today in this musing.

 

Ready?

I sure am not, but here we go anyway 🙂

 

I recently let down my guards.

I recently decided to just drop the fear of letting love penetrate me to my core,

I recently took down my shield that was protecting my delicate hungry heart,

and I allowed my soul to lead me right into possibly the last relationship of my life.

 

I possibly opened the floodgates to something that I have craved for, desired and sampled in ways in the past but did not actually believe was possible,

or thought oh that will happen in my golden years if I am lucky.

 

Folks, I can’t see past him.

WTF am I to do with that?

 

Never before have I not been able to see a life past someone.

Even my deepest loves in my past I could see life past them,

without them, it may not have been what I wanted for or desired but I could still look past them and know that there was more,

something greater, deeper, more elevating and penetrating.

 

And here I sit today with the realization that I can’t see past him.

I can’t keep ignoring the words and feelings that rise up in my core,

my soul screams them, my eyes communicate them, my heart shakes and makes me know its desire and to make matters worse he just keeps confirming all of it to me in soft ways and direct ways.

 

I am done with looking for the gotcha’s.

Done with trying to find what’s wrong, why it would not work, should not work, cannot happen. Done with giving a shit about what the world says….

 

Sorta taking a Bonnie Raitt approach to this and just going with,

“Let’s give them something to talk about.”

 

Because the alignment is too f-cking damn good to ignore and turn away from any longer.

 

I AM ALL ABOUT THE ENERGY.

 

Everything is energy.

It’s the most potent, important thing when we are looking at anything in our lives. Especially when we are looking at relationships and building a F-ck Yes! Life.

 

It’s not just chemistry.

Chemistry can fade.

There is New Relationship Energy (NRE) that we all have on the front side of getting together with someone, and it typically lasts anywhere from six months to 3 years if we are lucky, but then it fades and we start to see our partners clearly and as the humans that they are.

 

We can feel alignment when we are meeting in the wounds of our life and they are sinking up with someone else’s,

We can feel energy when we have physical attraction, mental stimulation, emotional bonding or a feeling that someone “gets us” but true energetic connection goes deeper than all of this.

Real soul alignment is more than that feeling like you are seen or understood.

 

Energetic Alignment in Intimate relationships is about elevation of the souls.

 

And it comes from a place of your core.

It comes from two individuals being aligned to who they are first without each other.

Not needing each other, but choosing to add the cherry of the relationship into their already damn good life picture.

 

True soul alignment is a feeling of coming home.

And when you reach that feeling of coming home you most likely will not be able to see a relationship past this one that elevates you into wanting so much more from life and yourself.

 

Soul based relating is about expansion in love.

It is about reaching your edge and knowing that you can go further because you are limitless and together you are limitless.

 

It’s a love that extends past time and space.

 

My experience over the last six weeks of my life is one of great momentum.

Going zero to 300 you could say.

A hundred years traveled in a little over a month,

the feeling of making up for lifetimes of lost time.

A merger of energy so great that I simply don’t have words to describe.

A shattering of my heart that is breathtaking and welcoming.

And here is something I have recognized in my work with thousands of people through the years who have been through this process of coming into soul aligned relationships of this depth and magnitude:

 

You can see the steps as to how you arrived right where you are at and how f-cking perfect everything is. How the synchronicities, the crazy little coincidences, how people, places and timelines guided you to this moment, to this relationship and how had you chosen differently you would have set things back or even missed it.

 

YOU HAD TO BECOME A MATCH TO THIS ENERGY.

 

And that is the truth.

 

We forget how WE,

Yes, we and only we can do this for ourselves. That we have to become a match to the person that we want to call into our lives.

All this talk about soulmates, twin flames, etc….

and the thing that we forget to realize is that we only get to have these powerful, dynamic fully turned on passionate and limitless relationships WHEN we choose to do our damn work and get rock solid in our core as to who the f-ck we are and what we want in life.

 

We have to be unwavering and selfish MF’s to get our energy aligned to this kind of empowered relationship.

 

Until we do so,

we spend our time learning about ourselves,

about what we want and what we do not want.

We take ourselves through the school of love and relationship and gain our education into SELF.

 

And then if we become self-aware.

If we become “woke” as some would say,

then without reservation, without even trying you find yourself just lined up to the most precious, yummy, juicy, fully absorbing, ignited relationship that you can imagine.

 

You will see how you were sampling pieces of it in previous experiences. You were being given the gift of being able to recognize this relationship quickly when you finally decided to become a match to it.

 

And when it comes for you,

there will just be a KNOWING.

 

The questions stop.

Your ego may try to put up a fight,

it may attempt to sabotage out of fear of getting hurt again,

but under that you will still have this undeniable feeling of CERTAINTY.

 

And the world won’t matter.

Your fears will not hold a candle to the power of your heart.

Other opinions, judgement, perceptions you will just turn away from without worry,

because you will just KNOW.

Like you know yourself,

you will recognize this soul aligned relationship.

And you will continue to run forward in faith and enthusiasm.

 

And you most likely will not be able to look past this relationship.

 

Beautiful isn’t it?

 

Intimacy share dear reader:

I sat here the other morning, alone, drinking my coffee, breathing in the crisp morning air, feeling this soul with me energetically even though we were not physically together. I closed my eyes and saw his. And with a breath I fast forwarded through this life,

I sat at the doorstep of death and I took it in.

I felt the goodbye of the physical and I felt his hand in mine.

And I welcomed it because it was a spectacular sharing of a lifetime,

and I knew that not even death could take this from us.

 

Soul alignment.

It’s powerful and pure.

It’s limitless and it is what we all crave and desire.

We may settle for logical, smart and fun.

We may settle for “good enough.”

But we always remain hungry until we access our core and get aligned and right with self.

With soul.

And then leap in faith into life and let ourselves be carried to what we KNOW is home.

 

“I can see the rest of my breaths in this lifetime in your arms.”

 

Yes I can.

————————————————————————–

 

I encourage you today my love, to look deep within yourself and ask yourself if you are settling or contemplating settling for just “good enough” in your relationship, in your love?

 

How does that knowing that you are settling make you feel?

 

Sit with that for a second if you can.

Stop making excuses.

Stop looking for the reasons and focusing on the fear of what if…

 

Instead know that you are worthy of a great penetrative love.

You are worthy of accessing heaven and experiencing a soul merger that you know at your core can be so,

but you currently have no knowledge or relationship with.

 

You must be willing to meet yourself though.

You must be willing to let go of your ego based loving ways,

you’re codependent habits and desires,

and you must be willing to be complete and whole in WHO YOU ARE FIRST.

 

This is your work.

This is the only earning you will ever have to do.

Become elevated to who you are and that soul aligned relationship will magically appear overnight.

 

Trust me,

what you desire and want,

wants and desires you too.

 

It’s time that you say F-ck Yes To YOU Love.

 

Today.

 

Elevate your love.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to elevate your love and life in 2021?

Ready to call in that soul aligned relationship that you cannot see past?

 

Let’s get you aligned to your core love.

Reach out to me for information on my 1:1 and group coaching programs starting in January 2021 and the early bird discounts for those coming later this month.

I HAVE DECIDED THAT MY NEW PROFESSION IS TO BE AN ENERGY DOMINATRIX.

I HAVE DECIDED THAT MY NEW PROFESSION IS TO BE AN ENERGY DOMINATRIX.

 

Sounds fun.

I mean I know that it is fun,

because many of my “work” days….

if you can call them that…

they are more play days because energy is fucking fun,

are just about that.

 

Dominating people’s energy.

Manipulating it you could say,

and then teasing it,

playing with the quantum field that is all around all of us and that we are manifest from.

 

Energy is playful.

Energy does not react well to being forced into some tight container where it cannot flow.

Sure when you constrict energy you certainly create a surge,

but that surge often does not come out the way that we desire it too,

and it is most often not playful.

Let alone sexy.

 

We humans have been taught to hold our shit together at all cost.

To not feel because it will make us vulnerable.

To not reveal our emotions because we will not be taken seriously.

We have been taught, brainwashed into believing that we are to constrict our energy.

We have been told that this is the proper, safe and mature thing to do.

 

When in truth what this containment of our energy does is the direct opposite to the desired reaction.

 

IT CREATES ENERGETIC IMMATURITY.

 

We never learn how to manage our energy.

How to hold it.

How to feel it.

How to direct and guide it.

Leaving us feeling scared of who we are and our power.

Making us separate from our truth and feel lost, abandoned in life.

 

And all because we never were trained on the importance and power of our energy.

Let alone the simple fact that we are all energy beings.

 

Science today is finally catching up to ancient spirituality.

Thank heavens.

And it is proving that thought creates emotion,

it is proving that our consciousness directs events and actual energy flow.

We can heal ourselves and the world with our consciousness or we can destroy it.

 

Our desire to control the situation,

to control others and the end results,

our desire to have a timeline and know what to expect,

our desire to have problems and make logical sense out of everything,

is evidence of how disconnected we humans are still from our souls.

From God/Source.

And thus from our truth.

And our truth is that we are fucking powerful.

The same consciousness that created universes moves through each of us and is wanting to expand.

 

Expansion of energy is not about forcing God into a human sized box of control.

 

Harnessing your energy has nothing to do with squishing it into some perfect package that society has told you it needs to be in nor avoiding your feelings and emotions,

avoiding your beautiful heart center.

 

Expansion and harnessing energy means to tap into your heart,

to feel your desires fully, accept where your life and vibration is at, look at what you need to do to bring your vibration into a matching frequency with what you desire,

and LET THE FUCK GO!

 

Play with your life.

Play with your power.

Let play and fun rule your world,

meaning ENJOY LIFE.

 

This is how you manipulate energy and design the life of your dreams.

 

You want that lover in your bed.

The money in your bank.

The health.

The freedom in your time.

 

Well the only way to get it is to learn how to enjoy the life that you are living today and to play with your day, your energy, and lean into letting go of your need to control everything and get it all right.

 

You will never be done.

Do you get that?

 

You are never going to be done until you are six feet under.

Then, then you will be released from this physical bondage where you are learning how powerful you are.

Once released from that bondage, you KNOW how powerful you are.

But this life that you are so terrified of living,

so scraed of fucking up in,

this life needs you to love it and enjoy it so that it can provide you with tons of opportunities to love it and enjoy it.

 

Otherwise you will exist all your days here on earth living with the energetic immaturity that keeps landing you into pain and suffering, loss and abandonment, fear and lack of worth, as well as not knowing how to deal with self and emotions.

 

You see when I say that my new professional title should be energy dominatrix,

What I am saying is that I help my beautiful fellow souls access their power through them learning how to surrender and trust me to guide the energy that they have held constricted and been fearful of feeling for years into a state of full being processing.

Where they get an opportunity to witness themselves in a fresh light,

and feel.

 

Yes they move from the armoured up, tense, stressed and anxious soul who is hiding from their greatness into an individual who knows who the fuck they are and is in love with themselves, their lives, their past and sees the path before them because they finally get that they are the architecht who is designing it.

 

They learn to surrender to themselves.

Surrender to their truth.

Surrender to enjoyment.

 

PLAY.

 

and they smile more.

they laugh more.

they sex whole heartedly more.

they penetrate the world with who they really are and the world receives them fully and grants them that turned on, ignited fuck yes life where all those who are still blind to thier power and caught up in their egos and thoughts stand back and say,

 

“They are so lucky.”

 

But it is not luck.

It is creation.

And they learn how to do it by letting go of all that shit that they have been holding on to and that has been weighing them down.

 

They let it go on my integration table.

They let it go in our walks together.

They let it go in our conversations.

They let it go in our deep soulful eye gazing sessions.

They let it go in our holding sessions.

They let it go with tears and laughter,

by being vulnerable and letting me see them.

They let it go and they end up feeling full on who they are.

 

This is where we all are to be my love.

This is the truth.

And in reality,

you don’t need me for any of this.

All you need is to love yourself enough to commit to letting all that shit go once and for all and dare to step out and trust that life has your back.

 

Dare to believe that you are the architect of your life.

Dare to love yourself in full abandon.

 

And play.

 

Because baby you are worthy of it all.

And YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN GIFT IT TO YOURSELF.

 

Now for anyone else out there,

who would like a little assistance,

well I am hear to smack you, kick your ass,

snuggle you as you blow snot in my hair,

watch tears fall from your beautiful eyes,

and build you up in love.

 

That  just requires you being sick and tired of messing around and feeling the way that you do.

 

It’s time to level up your life and say FUCK YES TO YOU!

And let YOU BE SEEN. 

 

I see YOU. 

DO YOU?

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Global peeps reach out about my October Asskickery Program that is happening now. I have only 4 spots still open for this program that will get you some loving smackdown and pick up over 4 weeks of private intensive coaching with me.  Message me for deets.

 

We start October 1st, 2020

 

Local peeps,

you may want a bit more intensity and some hands on.

CHeck out my signature Tantric Integration Bodywork Series where I really am an energy dominatrix 🙂 with your best interest at hand…

Reach out and ask me about Program and opportunities there.

 

*Photo Credit  Dendelion Images – Plano Texas

WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO FACE WHO YOU ARE.

WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO FACE WHO YOU ARE.
 
You find yourself out of MF Alignment in your life left and right.
Nothing works for you.
 
People get super judgy,
you cannot seem to do anything right,
and the more you focus on how you are not getting it right,
you mess it up even more and you find yourself overwhelmed,
overworked, depressed, anxious and lost.
 
You try everything it seems,
but nothing fits right.
You tell yourself that you are in alignment with your love life,
with your finances,
your passion and your work,
You claim to love who you are even though you still know you have work to do,
and you understand from a mental space how important your thoughts and feelings are to manifesting your desired life.
 
YOU GET IT.
You really do,
but you are still fucking it up somehow.
 
And this makes you crazy on the inside.
This makes you feel unworthy,
makes you feel like no one cares,
and your ego runs wild with its success of overtaking you in all areas.
But you don’t see it clearly.
Instead you go into self-loathing,
you dance in the land of feeling not good enough,
and you beat yourself down even more.
 
You are caught in the tidle wave of ego owning your ass.
And you are drowning.
 
And strangly you are enjoying it.
As crazy as that seems,
I mean why in the world would you focus on making yourself feel bad?
why would you support manifesting hell in your life?
Its not fun.
Its not making you happy.
Its not serving you at all.
But yet YOU ARE DOING IT.
 
And you are loving it.
It feels good to be right about something.
It feels good to manifest exactly what you have always received and keeping things the way that you are familiar with,
the way that you expect,
keeps you comfortable.
 
It won’t rattle your cage.
It keeps you safe because you KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT what you are getting.
 
And if you had chosen to drop all this shitty shit and allow yourself joy, happiness and love to flow in instead,
you would have then to much to loose.
 
I mean if you allow yourself to actually be happy and abundant,
then what if it changes back to what you have always known to be true?
 
Then you will find yourself possibly in worse shoes then where you are now,
comfortable with your suffering that you have set up residence in.
 
And so you make sure that before you can actually enjoy the blessings that are on thier way to you from all these years of desiring a better life,
that you push it all away from you.
 
You run away from it and cause a scene so that you can point fingers and say,
“See I knew that was going to happen, because that is the way it always is. “
 
You commit to your suffering.
You commit to keeping yourself right where you have always been.
You are one MF loyal AF human to your undesired life.
 
Good job my dear powerhouse manifestor.
You rock in your ability to get what you ask for.
In calling in what you focus on.
 
You are a MF magician.
That is for sure.
 
So stop bitching about the shitty shit that you got going on.
You have been focused on it showing up and being here all this time and so it has to show up and be here.
 
And the funnier thing is,
you think that by acting like someone that you are not,
by providing life a fake smile,
by focusing in on actions that are not in alignment to you authentically,
by looking at the world and those who are aligned and making good shit happen,
that if you copy cat them that life will just magically give you what they have,
well…
 
Your are stupid.
 
Cuz, life will never give you another humans expereinces.
Life will ONLY give you your expereinces.
 
Your energy is yours.
And you can have everything that you want and that you see others creating as well,
but you gotta get aligned to YOU first and be MF HAPPY with who you are first.
 
Or not…..
 
You can also just keep doing what you have been and getting what you have been and pointing fingers,
getting triggered and have knee jerk reactions to everything that you are not happy with,
and just keep that beautiful focus on getting what you don’t want by talking about it to everyone you can,
by waking up and daydreaming about your misery and how rough life has been,
by being jelly over others,
and by effing duplicating what you think will get you there,
but ignoring WHO THE FUCK YOU REALLY ARE.
 
Because you are afraid of your power,
afriad of your happiness and abundance,
afraid of the opinions, judgements and ideas of others if you actually JUST BE BEAUTIFUL YOU.
 
And because of you not facing this truth my dear MF Manifestor,
you will continue to put yourself on repeat to everything that you do not want.
 
As long as you keep denying your truth and trying to make others truth yours,
you will never have what you want.
But you will continue to get what you focus on.
 
That is for sure.
becaus ethat is how it works.
 
Life does nolt give a shit about what you think is fair or not.
Life does not hear that you do not want this or that.
Life does not care about your forced actions.
 
Life gives you what you focus on.
Life gives you what you are commited too.
And THAT,
THAT is why you got everything that you expect.
 
So what are you going to do about it?
 
We will all find out soon enough,
your life will show us.
Your manifestations will certainly show exactly what you have been commited too.
 
COMMIT WISELY.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start living
“Coaching for Grown Ass Believers”
 
Want ro get clear focus to over coming the struggles of life?
Take advantage if Asskickery October.
Where I will Lovington kick your ASS into alignment of your goals.
No mattwr where you are in this world.
Reach out to me.
Offer is limited.
 

PUMP UP THE VIBE ESPECIALLY WHEN SHIT IS HAPPENING.

GIRLS ON FIRE!!!
Are you though?
Here is the thing,
Today could have gone a TOTALLY different direction.
Today could have been stressful AF.
Today could have been a day where everything,
And I mean EVERYTHING went wrong.
Today could have been about me chasing my tail.
But instead of it spiraling that negative not so fun direction,
I opted to spin it into a fun, flirty day of abundance and joy.
I chose to PUMP UP THE VIBE,
of the day,
The week,
The NOW.
And I did it pretty simply too.
You see yesterday at waking I discovered that in my crazy busy life,
I totally assumed that I had paid my car payment last month,
I recall pulling it all up early in the month,
Paying it before it is due is sorta my thing,
Makes me feel good.
So I recall doing this,
But somehow I guess I never hit submit on my payment and in the process whatever I did click stopped my auto pay….
LMAO I am so blond some days.
Anyway, yesterday I got a nasty gram on it saying that I was behind and my auto pay for September was going through too.
Then I looked in my bank to figure out where August payment had gone.
Wanting to believe it was not my fault of course.
And instead I discovered a bunch of charges from my Florida girls weekend I just got back from that I did not know about.
At the end of it I sat with about $2000 spent that I had not accounted for.
Not horrible by any means,
But still $2k I was not expecting to have out of the bank.
I admit, I was feeling frustrated.
I felt pressure to deal with it all and not pull money from savings to cover this unexpected amount of deductions.
So I thought to myself,
“You can run with this vibe of frustration and anxiety. You can fall into old you from a decade ago and feel scarcity a d fear. You can.
OR….
You can breathe and play.
Get your energy flirt on.
And love on your day. “
And so I texted a picture my daughter did recently of me to a male friend. I knew he would like it and respond in love.
And he did.
Then I reached out to a few other playful souls whom stir my energy as well,
I conversed with them,
Played energy tag and got some laughs in.
I casually in flow got all my business accomplished. I focused on laughter.
I focused on doing things that made my body feel good. I stepped away from anything that felt like it was pressuring me.
I got creative and I just ran with what came out of my heart in that creativity.
And then I turned away from everything and put my focus on my children. On being hundred percent present with them, laughing and snuggling. Connecting.
It felt good.
It felt easy.
And that’s when all that resistance that I felt earlier in the day LET THE FUCK GO.
I had successfully got momentum on my side.
On flow, fun, ease.
Away from resistance, anxiety, frustration.
And my little goal of ,
” I am going to manifest $2000 before the day is out,”
Boosted itself into where I am actually aligned.
I manifested instead, $10,600 in less than 24 hours.
And you know what as I sit here at Kumon,
Waiting on my kids to get done with tutoring,
My text messages are popping up with more people asking me to send them invoices for hundreds of dollars.
Thats being in flow baby!
That’s what living a fuck yes life is about.
That’s the ease we are to all have.
But we have to choose what direction we allow our emotions,
Thus our energy and manifestations to spin in.
Choose what you build momentum around.
Choose by listening to what feels good.
Cuz’ if its causing frustration, fear, anxiety, scarcity thoughts,
Then its not in alignment to who you really are.
Its not what God wants for your life.
If you are caught in these low vibe emotions,
Then you are not knowing your worthiness.
Life is to be about love.
JOY.
EASE.
FLOW.
ABUNDANCE in all good things.
That’s what you are to be living.
Are you?
Realize that what you focus on expands.
Your focus creates the momentum.
Choose wisely and in fun.
AS Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “
Want ro get clear focus to over coming the struggles of life?
Take advantage if Asskickery October.
Where I will Lovington kick your ASS into alignment of your goals.
No mattwr where you are in this world.
Reach out to me.
Offer is limited.

The Secret Power Of Your Sex.

SWIRLING.

LOST IN EMOTION.

Bodies engaged,

sweat rolling between.

Gasping for air.

 

Release,

deep within, my cervix shakes,

my pelvic floor quivers,

my chest cracks,

my g-spot ignites,

and I sigh.

 

Ahhhhh…

 

It’s been hours of rolling in these sheets.

My muscles are like jello from all the orgasms,

the energy spasms and the release.

 

My legs are shaking and I feel like laughing and crying all at the same time.

It is hard to focus my vision,

the ceiling light is spinning as I lay there,

breathing in the intoxicating vibrations of this moment.

 

I AM DRUNK.

I am vulnerable.

I am raw.

I am open.

I feel so very alive and yet transcended into nothing.

 

Tears are streaming from my face.

My lover kisses and bites my neck,

grabs my hair at the base of my scalp and pulls me down onto him,

not just entering me but penetrating me.

Penetrating me to the core of my being,

as though he is witnessing my soul from within my very body.

 

My body quivers and shakes,

I have lost all reason,

I am without care,

Full abandon.

 

And here,

here in this space of true bliss,

here in this place that has not been visited to these levels of depth for sometime,

I CAN SURRENDER.

 

Letting go of the fear,

the worry and the thought.

Letting go of my conditions,

of terms and agreements,

letting go of the physical and just floating in the abyss of nothing yet everything,

and discovering myself yet again.

 

Here I am .

Here he is.

And together we get lost.

We expand and we explore.

 

From this land anything is possible.

All can be desired and achieved.

This is the land of alchemy,

the place of magick.

 

Sex Magick.

 

Calling down the blessings from source,

realizing them into here and now.

As I open fully to the deep rowling thunders of each orgasmic wave,

my spirit aligns and I allow.

I allow all to manifest that I have craved for,

longed for,

and I open my life to receiving it.

My body is awakened,

ignited and ready.

 

With each sip of air I call out to the universe my desires,

as my lover tousles me around,

pressing firmly inside of me,

pumping my g-spot in rhythmic cycles of ecstasy,

the juices roll from my lips and I pull his hand in further and further.

Fully engulfed inside my cavern,

his subtle moves of hand carry me deeper and deeper,

the pressure is building,

my body becomes tense.

And I see it.

 

I SEE IT ALL.

I feel the filling of my cup,

as it overflows with abundance,

with love and health,

as my life is changed,

altered for the better.

 

The shaking of my flesh subsides,

my breath deepens,

my muscles relax.

And I feel him again,

swirling,

teasing,

licking.

 

Intensifying my energy,

and I melt.

 

Dancing with my soul in this expression of truth.

Feeling an ignited calm,

a peace and hunger.

 

I know that this moment….

Like so many from my past is transformational.

Awakening.

And powerful.

 

And I am ready.

 

Take me.

Let me surrender into you and become nothing and everything.

 

Yes this is the power of our orgasm.

This is the importance of our sex.

This has been hidden from you for centuries,

known by few.

 

And it is truth.

It is my truth as it is yours as well,

you can channel your energy and focus it on your desired life.

Manifestation at its finest.

 

But first,

First you must learn its secrets.

 

Do you dare?

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Happening this Saturday Sept. 12th, 2020 Tantric Sex Magick.

Where you can learn the mysteries and truth behind this sought after knowledge.

 

Can’t make that?

 

It’s okay.

 

Reach out to me to explore Tantric Coaching today to learn this and more.

EVERYTHING THAT EVER WAS STILL IS.

EVERYTHING THAT WAS STILL IS.
Yesterday was magical.
It was tranquil.
It was adventurous.
It was testing.
I had technical difficulties left and right,
and then the ocean tide came and tried to steal my romantic lunch.
There we were sitting on Ruby Beach just off of Hwy 101 in the Olympic National Forest in Washington. Home to me in so many ways. My lover kept shaking his head in amazement.
I could see his breath being taken from him as we ventured around the corners to see yet another immensely beautiful site.My heart was filled with excitement and appreciation to be sharing my Washington with him.
He would look at me in love and smile.
Ask again the question of the day,
“Why did you ever leave here?”
And I would chuckle.
SPIRIT.
Spirit took me from here,
spirit guided me to someplace so opposite of here for a reason, and now that place ( Dallas) is home.
Lacking perhaps in many ways from the natural beauty that Washington State offers in each moment,
Dallas is now home and I was called there with a purpose.
But today’s lesson was not so much about spirit taking me from the majestic tranquility of the great Northwest,
but more so about the realness of how everything that ever was still is.
Yes everything.
There has never been anything new created.
The life that was here manifesting and creating itself so many millennia ago is still all here.
As the years pass and things change,
as we perceive life to die and go away,
we in our limited human understanding get caught up in the ending,
and by doing so we miss the reality that life…
life never goes away.
It never ends.
We never end.
We transform.
We get rebirthed into something new.
Our atoms and molecules are still here carrying our essence with them.
They may break down repeatedly and get divided into smaller particles,
all the way down to a quark,
however contained in each one of these quarks is consciousness.
The consciousness of all time.
You and I.
We are here.
Inside each of these,
inside of each other,
and we have been here forever.
And we will remain in consciousness forever more.
Your memories of today,
the love that you feel,
the memories of fullness and the magnitude that life can have on us,
those feelings of being so small and yet so powerful,
those are forever you.
Life is forever.
Life transforms.
It moves through us and God/universe experiences life through our eyes, touch and feelings.
It is what we are here to do.
LIVE.
Sitting 20 feet up on the roots of a very old and extremely large cedar tree in the Olympic National Rainforest,
I breathed in this reality.
And once again heard spirit.
LET GO OF FEAR.
LET GO OF CONTROL.
We get caught on the ending.
And this getting caught on the ending holds us away from thriving.
It prevents us from fully living,
because we fear life and we think we need to control it.
When in truth all we ever have to do is feel into life and get into alignment with spirit.
Into alignment with God/universe and let it carry us to a magical experience.
Where we transform.
Where we expand as life moves through us.
This Is terrifying to us humans however.
If we just let go and let God,
if we release our need to control outcomes,
if I dare say….
TRUST.
Then we could be left with nothing.
Or worse yet,
we could die.
And cease to exist.
This is where we truly do not pathom our power in alignment.
By releasing ourselves from the fear of death,
we gain not just life, but we gain beauty in life.
We gain the full support of the universe.
We tap into our desires,
and as we appreciate and enjoy the moment RIGHT HERE,
life will grant us with more moments of equal and greater beauty for our enjoyment.
Bad things will still be happening,
storms will still be rolling around,
however when we are in alignment and are not available for such disturbances in our vibration,
we somehow as if magically just miss them and they miss us.
And this is how it has always been intended.
This is what THRIVING is all about.
It starts however with the reality that death is an illusion.
That even though this body of yours and mine will most certainly not be here in a thousand years,
and perhaps not even for the rest of this year,
but the consciousness that is who we truly are,
it will forever be here as it always has been .
and it will rebirth itself through the merging of quarks and molecules, through the new dance of atoms,
and it will remember itself.
It will look out into this universe,
into this world and the existence that is living and will see itself everywhere.
And it will feel its power.
The question today my love is can you feel your power for this manifestation of you?
Can you embrace your life and stop making excuses as to why you cannot breathe in the moment and LIVE?
Or will you just smile at my share and wish me a beautiful life or curse me for living and keep arguing with your limitations?
It is all up to you beautiful
Namaste.
I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth and of peace. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, we are one.
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Message me for deet’s on the Magick Minute Program Coaching available globally now.
 

What Fear, Anxiety and Pain Are Saying To You.

My heart felt like it was being crushed.

My chest had a weight on it that no matter how I tried to calm my breathing,

no matter the stretching and massaging that I provided my chest,

the pressure and constriction simply would not stop.

There was this low grade level of anxiety rising in my system as I could feel my body fighting with me.

 

But why was this happening?

I was not fearful of travel.

I was not feeling out of sorts with my lover who was sitting right there with me.

There was nothing that I could consciously come up with in this moment that would support the pain that I was in.

 

Fast forward a few hours….

 

We had landed. Gotten our car. And made it to the fauntleroy ferry in West Seattle. I was feeling far calmer now then just a few hours prior in the Uber ride to the airport.

 

However as soon as our Jeep rolled onto the ferry and we got parked the overwhelming feelings of being crushed and the anxiety made themselves known again.

 

Breathing deep as I could in the moment I quickly walked myself to the upper deck of the ferry and called my breath as I looked out over the harbor to Vashon Island. The wind encompassed me with the soft smell of sea salt in it,

the waves crashed up against the sides of the ferry, the sun let me feel delicate moments of warmth on the skin that was revealed and here I was in this moment,

 

crumbling.

 

There was no reason in this moment to stand here on this ferry and cry,

yet the tears came anyway.

And as they did the release into whatever was holding in my chest and begging me to let it go left with them.

 

Here on the ferry overlooking the water I surrendered to the unknown.

I let myself go into what logically made no sense.

 

I was happy.

I was excited to share my love of Washington with my lover for a few days.

I was feeling relaxed until I was not.

And my mind wanted answers.

My mind wanted to become Sherlock Holmes and figure it all out,

make reason for the pain,

the fear,

and my holding of it.

 

But my soul and heart understood its truth.

 

My body and mind had been arguing you could say.

They were not in alignment.

And THAT is what was causing me to suffer.

 

 

WIthout realizing it I was not surrendering to the beauty and release of this trip.  I was holding onto an old concept,

I was holding onto the version of me who used to live here in Seattle all those years ago and STRUGGLE in life.

who missed so much of the greatness of this place.

 

Here I was 15 years later, holding onto these fragments of self.

Not letting myself release fully into who I have become.

Who I have grown into being and the life that I have today.

 

The fear of the old me was actually creating physical pain in the current.  The old thought programs and beliefs around money and relationships that I use to try to exist in life were being unmasked in my energy and my current state of who I AM was being asked by my old sabotaging thoughts and ideas to lay down and shut up.

 

HA!

 

And here was the significant constriction that I was feeling.

The feeling like I could not breathe.

The feeling like my chest was going to explode and my ribs were being broken from the inside out.

The agony in my gut.

And the intense headache that came with it all as my whole being just wanted to flee the idea of this trip I had planned.

 

I was not surrendering to me.

I was not surrendering to this moment.

I was not surrendering to life or what it was blessing me with.

And I was not surrendering all because of an old concept and old beliefs that were trying to make themselves current.

 

I was out of alignment.

 

The issue with my alignment was causing me the pain and the fear.

 

The only thing that could save me was my own surrender into the depths of the unknown,

into self.

into this moment.

into this experience.

into life and what it was offering me.

And as I did so,

the tears streamed down my face,

the wind whipped itself around me,

the waves crashed against the ferry boat,

the sun shone through the clouds and asked to warm my skin,

and I took a deep breath letting it all go.

 

My world was right again.

My body let go of everything that it was holding,

and it let go of the need to falsely try and control what it could not control.

It let go of this moment in life and allowed the moment to JUST BE.

 

BEAUTIFUL.

Without question.

Without a need to know what was going to come next.

Without the need to hold onto the moment and ask that it never change or leave.

My SOUL was again in the driver’s seat,

and in it I was aligned.

Fully feeling.

Fully embracing.

And ENJOYING.

 

Some would look at moments like this or times that they feel these same constrictions and fears, anxiety and “gut reactions” as signs to turn and go another direction.

and sometimes they can mean just that for sure,

However often they are signs that we are on the tipping edge of everything that we desire to be birthed into our world and our old versions of self are there testing us.

Asking us if we are sure that we truly want everything that we have proclaimed that we do.

 

Many people at this moment misread what their body, mind and emotions are speaking to them and they turn away from EVERYTHING.

 

They will say,

“That’s just too risky.”

“I need to see it to believe it.”

“I need to know that this person is as invested as I am.”

” I don’t want to hurt so and so or get hurt.”

“Timing is wrong, I can feel it.”

 

And they step away from life.

They step away from some of the best moments of living.

They turn away from the experiences that will grow them into that next version and they do it all in the name of “having a feeling.”

 

They do it based on logic.

They do it because they look at the suffering and pain,

the anxiety as a symbol that THIS IS NOT THE PATH.

When that is not at all what is being said.

 

Your SOUL is saying this FEAR that you are having right now is here telling you that THIS….

 

THIS is the perfect path that will transform you into that next beautiful version of who you were born to become.

This fear that you are having is here because you have control issues and life is not for controlling, it is here for you to love and enjoy,

and in your loving and enjoying of each delicate moment and your release into the unknown you BIRTH YOURSELF.

 

And you BECOME.

 

But you must SURRENDER.

In the small moments as well as the big ones.

Because the universe/God is not looking at the size of the moments,

but at your ability to be in alignment with SOURCE.

 

IN ALL.

 

That is the meaning of FAITH.

That is having CERTAINTY that you will always get what you want for and need.

That is how you make MAGICK in your life and THRIVE.

 

Can you surrender to life?

We are all being asked to do just this.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Message me for deets on the Magick Minute.

IS THIS THING CALLED LIFE EVEN WORTH IT?

SOME DAYS YOU QUESTION…

IS IT EVEN WORTH IT?

 

You know those days where your chest feels so tight it hurts to even try and take a shallow breath,

and you know that what you really need to do is to breathe deep and force yourself to just relax,

but you can’t.

It hurts too effing bad.

You feel like your chest is going to erupt at any second from the pressure that it is under and your heart is beating faster than it should,

you woke with enough anxiety for two countries of people,

and your mind won’t stick to anything positive.

The thoughts,

the fears,

worry dances around you assuring you that today is going to suck,

just like life is sucking. And you question….

 

Is any of this even worth it?

Does anyone really care?

Do I matter?

And if I do, is it just so I can be of service without support coming back? Am I only here on this planet to be used?

 

The blame game is a nasty one,

and you know it’s not even accurate,

but there you go anyway,

down that rabbit hole,

feeding yourself another solemn tail of defeat and suffering.

 

Your mind is a chatter with how you need to just put an end to your suffering,

you have no reason to continue so it appears,

your heart is shattered and no one sees it,

or cares.

 

You are lost.

Lost in your pain.

Lost in your inability to love yourself.

Lost in your fear of change.

Lost in desire to control and you cannot see it.

Your ego has you by the balls,

and there is a strange fulfillment in it.

 

Shhhh…. don’t tell anyone that in your pain you are comfortable.

 

But it is true.

 

You are happy here in this suffering,

it is serving you for the time.

It is gaining you the attention that you desire,

it is getting those who are around you to notice you somehow.

Your vibe is so low that they feel a need to check in on you,

to inquire and at very least pretend that they care.

 

And to this there is an inner smiling.

But not for long.

Quickly you dismiss it.

And move on to another thought of your inner suffering,

pointing more fingers,

spewing out hatred and pain to anyone who will listen.

Confirming your misery.

 

And controlling that it will not leave you.

 

Yes my love,

Did you catch that?

 

You are controlling  your pain.

You are forcing it to stay with you.

You are the one who is hanging on to it.

 

You are truly that powerful,

that you have chosen to put yourself into this bondage.

 

You are truly that genius to have devised a life of suffering that is so masterfully planned out that even you yourself can no longer see it for the mastery that it is in your power.

 

Choosing blindness over sight.

Choosing to remain harnessed to the inner demons that you feed with your thoughts and actions.

Choosing to control them,

through your dictatorship of what you cannot do.

 

But if you could just breathe.

If you could just allow yourself to settle down into that cavity of your heart and feel the beating of its beauty and power.

If you could if only for today allow yourself a moment to release all the emotion that resides there,

let the tears stream without attachment,

without a need to think about them,

but to just let them go.

 

If you could do this and breathe.

Deeper and deeper,

letting yourself feel yourself and love,

love you for all your humanness,

and your tender beauty and powerful soul,

then perhaps you would be able to turn the corner to this self inflicted suffering.

 

Perhaps then you could come from your strength.

From that place deep inside of you that knows its worthiness,

embraces its power and see’s how it is truly the creator of your life.

 

If you could do this for only one minute today,

just one focused minute imagine the glorious thing that could stem from this place?

 

Imagine what it would be like to ALLOW yourself to turn that corner and to STOP the suffering game that you are playing with yourself.

 

Imagine what life might be like if instead of denying yourself the ability to feel good,

you in turn started to say yes to yourself with the things that you know you desire, crave and need.

 

You question your worthiness…

yet you do not treat yourself with any worth.

 

You question if you should continue on…

yet you deny the allowance of living from a yes point to self.

 

You roll in the muddy contamination of your thoughts claiming that you are shackled there while holding the key to your freedom.

 

And the reality is the same for any of us…

 

We will only make a change when we are ready to make that change.

 

When we are done with the service that pain offers.

When we are done controlling from this vibrational level and we are ready to truly step into our power of self love.

Ready to surrender to your true nature,

to create a life of thriving.

 

But first you must question…..

 

How is this suffering serving me?

Why am I so attached to this pain?

How is controlling my life through pain supporting my current desires?

 

And you must go deep with yourself if you are to unblock yourself from what you claim you no longer want.

 

You must get authentically raw with yourself and be willing to see those inner shadows for what they are….

 

for how you….

YES YOU ARE THEIR MASTER.

 

Are you ready to turn the corner?

 

Because this world needs your light.

And you my dear,

YOU ARE WORTHY OF A LIFE OF THRIVING.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Stop with the mind f-ck games that you are playing with yourself and learn the secrets to thriving now.

 

You can create the life of your dreams in one minute a day.

 

Message me for deet’s on the Magick Minute Program.

Wanting To Be Washed Over and Scared To Death Of It.

One of those days when my energy goes to left field…

 

 

Or maybe it’s right field.

Or maybe right at the pitcher.

IDK.

It’s always interesting though on days like this where I feel the arousal of life moving through me,

I feel the hunger to devour every moment,

and the tugs of the past that will always sway around in my soul, reminding me of what I thirst still for.

 

On days like today,

the universe is quick to remind me of my energetic connections,

of how those fleeting yet powerful thoughts evoke response,

and how quick I can manifest many opportunities into my life to experience everything that I am thirsting for.

 

This quenching comes through multiple sources however,

and me being human just like you want it the way I want it and all in one package.

 

Even though I fully understand, appreciate and even value the multiple packages that can show up in my life,

There are some things that I crave for that I JUST WANT IN THE WAY I WANT.

 

And I know without a doubt that I can have them too.

I have tasted of these delicacies before.

I have been overtaken by the depth of fulfillment that can be experienced all from one source.

And it is truly intoxicating.

 

AND I WANT THAT!

 

I don’t really have a ton of patience to wait for it.

I question if I am just wasting time,

settling,

or if I just imagined it before.

Or perhaps the truth is that those sorts of things only come once in life,

and when gone they leave us with this beautiful suffering of knowing that it will never be again.

 

Perhaps they are only so lovely as to walk through our lives because of the deep pain that they bare on our soul.

 

Or perhaps,

they are there to make us question ourselves, or to learn how to be better. As if to present a lesson for us to spend the rest of our days unraveling.

 

IDK.

 

I truly don’t know.

But what I do know is that these blessed little and big moments  in my life are a feast that I will always run toward and sit at the table of.

 

I know that when presented I am eager and hungry to explore IF….

 

and perhaps, this is yet another one of those life moments that  will forever leave its mark,

and no matter how deep it may scratch into my flesh and heart,

I know for sure one thing.

IT IS WORTH IT.

 

How can something that can be such an achilles heel to us be worth anything other than pain and cause us anything other than a major stumbling block in our life?

 

These things can be like quicksand to us if we get to caught up in them,

and yet we dive in,

head first.

and we search for them.

 

It is because without them,

without the knowing and the deep dive into the ravines of everything that they offer us,

we will NEVER KNOW OURSELVES FULLY.

and with that we can never know love.

We can never feel that true sense of abandon,

where we surrender into nothingness that is everything.

Where all that we are is seen and unraveled like the lessons that we gain from these moments and people who allow us time to bask in the enjoyment of the experience of life with them.

 

And so we wander through our days,

lost in search for yet this experience again. Ever so hungry to find it,

ever so thirsty to be drowned by it,

and we find our hearts feeling broken.

We find our minds screaming at us in dissatisfaction,

that we are so silly as to be hunting for yet another moment.

 

Trying to convince ourselves that, that was all the sampling of happiness, connection, love and joy that we get for this lifetime.

Giving all of our power over to just this one moment.

And feeling like we have been shredded into a million pieces and no one cares,

no one sees,

no one hears our pleas to be held yet again in this beauty,

this agonizing beauty that we fear and hunger for all in the same.

 

And then,

What do we crazy fickle humans do?

 

We manifest into our lives….

That is what we do.

We call it in and we choose to disregard it.

Because we fear its wrath on our lives.

We fear the pain.

We fear the heartache and the loss.

The death of something.

And so we deny allowing it into formation.

We say no to the very thing that we hunger for.

 

And we choose to sit in agony that we have chosen out of the fear of if we said yes to our dreams and our desires,

if we allowed ourselves to transform and become everything that we need to become to fully merge with this new exploration and blessing,

and we convince ourselves that this sort of suffering is better than the having of yet another altering beautiful moment  that we run the risk of losing somewhere down the road.

And so we sit idle in our today,

and stay that way,

hungry.

 

Never allowing our thirst to be quenched by the waterfalls that can carry us away to our own divinity.

To the uniting of self and love.

To the potential of who we are and how we can dance in the currents of our transformation.

 

Yes this is the journey of the fickle human being.

That you and I  both are.

We will forever be captivated by our hungers,

our wanting and earning,

and to those we must awaken to our nature to torment ourselves in the not having.

 

Because when we seek…

when we ask…

It is always granted.

It is never denied by God/universe.

 

The denying is all up to us.

 

So what will we choose?

 

To have?

Or to have not?

 

It is up to you and it is up to me,

and this is how powerful we truly are.

We have the power to shackle ourselves from EVERYTHING,

yes everything that we want for.

 

What do you choose?

I know my answer.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn how you can one and for all get out of your own way? I get how difficult it can be.

How it feels like there is no way that you can ever achieve the life, the relationship,

the abundance and health that you crave so deeply for.

I understand how easy it is to contribute all that beauty and love from your past to one person,

or experience.

 

But I tell you this,

you are the creator of your life and you are worthy of thriving.

Let me show you the path to living unbound and turned on today.

*Photo Credit @ #DandeLionImages

Let’s Be Real…. YOU HAVE TRUST ISSUES.

IT’S YOUR BITCHIN’ MOANING AND COMPLAINING.

 

Truth Time Baby!

 

I get that 2020 has been a rocky sorta year so far and it looks like the fun is not coming to a stop anytime soon.

 

I get that you have been just surviving up to this point,

that the news you are listening too has you scared shitless most days,

and questioning what is going on in our world.

Are these the end of days?

Is this how our world goes down?

How humanity comes to an end?

 

I get that you have been watching all the negative reports about COVID spikes,

about racial issues and wrong doings,

about possible wars,

and let’s not forget the horrors of child sex trafficing and Hollywood.

 

It’s all just a bunch of hopeless suffering that causes you upset and torment,

makes your heart crumble and makes you want to not believe that it is so.

 

And so it is that you are finding yourself in 2020 saying that it is a raging shit show of a year,

feeling like our economy is forever changed ( and it is),

and not knowing if you will make it through or if you will become one of the millions who find themselves drowning in the hysteria,

in the loss of a job, savings, house, car and relationship,

and maybe even health.

 

There is one thing though that can change all of this for you.

 

It’s something that no one can ever take away,

it’s something that you can always be in control of,

and it is the deciding factor if you are in SOUL ALIGNMENT or NOT.

 

And that is your ATTITUDE.

 

Your attitude dictates your emotional response patterns to outside events and to what you are thinking.

 

Most people react from an emotional level,

they live in a reactive state instead of a proactive state of living.

 

Most people never realize that they can choose their emotional response to situations,

 

ANY SITUATION.

 

Including how 2020 is manifesting for our world.

Choosing to focus on feeling good,

on living a life of thriving and love,

abundance and connection,

living your TRUTH is nothing more than a commitment to SELF and a TRUST in the universe/God to deliver it outside of what the world is moving through.

 

It is choosing to not fall prey to all the negativity.

 

Now, don’t get me wrong this is not saying to close your eyes and ignore the world topics that are at hand,

often we believe that positivity means to ignore pain, stress and issues and to just put our attention on the good or the desire for good,

 

but that is not realistic.

You can choose to have an attitude of love, beauty and good vibes and still be AWARE and even outspoken about issues and causes that tug at your heart and soul.

 

You can still spread knowledge,

be a crusader,

a patriot,

and see the changes that need to occur.

 

But you will find yourself coming at these things from a different space than those who are focused on complaining, bitching, moaning and fearing about life.

 

You will be able to stand strong in knowing that YOU…

 

you are the co-creator of your life expression,

that you get to choose your thoughts,

you get to choose what you apply your focus too,

you get to choose your reactions,

and your feelings.

 

And you will KNOW that by staying in SOUL ALIGNMENT that your life will be evidence that none of us were ever born to live a life of suffering.

 

Because you will be walking through this year,

seeing all of its horrors,

counting your blessings from a place of love and gratitude,

not from a place of fear.

You will be connecting to loved ones and strangers,

you will be exploring life as it was always intended in its newness of each day,

you will not be terrified to wake up and feel like you must hide from your life to survive,

but instead you will see the sun shining and breathe deep in the crisp morning air.

You will be making plans of travels and community,

looking at family events and business possibilities,

you will know that you are supported in your TRUST that God/Universe has your back and that by making your ALIGNMENT the most important thing,

that your life will be one of THRIVING in this time of chaos.

 

But the THRIVING only comes from the alignment to the soul.

And your state of mind and emotion tells you EXACTLY where you are at at any given moment in time.

 

If you are among the millions who are bitchin’, moaning and complaining,

who are pointing fingers and shaming,

judging and hating,

fearing their neighbours and relatives,

looking at anyone who comes within eyesight range as though they have a gun to your head,

then it’s time that you get real about where your alignment is actually at.

 

DO YOU FEEL THAT FEAR AND UNREST IN YOUR BEING?

 

That is a sign that your SOUL feels differently than your fear based ego mind.

 

That is a sign that you are calling to you all that you do not want for,

but what you fear instead.

 

That is sign that it’s time love to start TRUSTING in God,

trusting in the laws of the universe,

and in your deepest self wisdom.

 

It is a sign to stop the insanity and stop adding to the pot of chaos and suffering for 2020 and the future.

 

It is your bitchin, moaning and complaining that is keeping your desired life of abundance, joy, pleasure, connection and heath at bay.

 

And you love…

YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN CHANGE IT.

 

Are you ready to take responsibility for your life and what your experiences are or are you content in the comforts of your suffering?

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to know how one minute each day can create the life of your dreams quickly? Reach out to me about the Magick Minute Program to manifest your dream life in 2020.