Is Your Dream Killing You?

Are you a dreamer?
I sure am.

You have dreams.
You have BIG dreams.
I know you do.
Everyone does.

But the thing about dreams is that they are just that,
DREAMS.
When we speak of our dreams,
we have the feeling of something that may never happen,
they are set off into the distance of time and space,
they are something that we might “wish” for,
but in our core feel they are unattainable.

That is why they are dreams after all.
Just like the dreams that we have in our sleep,
our waking dreams are fleeting in the moments of life,
they come in and they squeeze us,
make us want for something more,
may even cause us suffering and pain for not having them.

Dreams blossom in our minds and heart
and they beg for us to pay attention,
but life feeds us evidence quiet often,
showing us just how hard it is to achieve these dreams,
or how goofy we are to believe that we can ever get them to manifest.

And so we are dreamers.
And even in writing this statement,
and perhaps for you to read it,
there is a negative charge around the word,
there is hesitation,
pain and discomfort,
there is a sensation of tightness in the reality,
that dreamers just dream.

It is through hard work,
being practical,
and settling into what life is really about that you succeed.
That you SURVIVE.

Dreamers are fun and all.
Dreaming is beautiful, creative and gives us hope.
But it is not logical.

Or so we are brainwashed into believing.
We are daily hounded into the practiced thinking of this.
We are reminded,
by what we have been practicing by the evidence of our lives and how things unfold and manifest.
So we put more into the thinking and feeling of what is before us,
without the trust that we can change our tomorrow by changing our mindset.

But the truth is,
that dreams do come true.
And they are gifted to you to become reality through your abilities, your focus, your energy.
That is why you have the dreams that you have.
You and ONLY you are meant to manifest them.
However, you will never achieve those manifestations without clarity, joy and trust.
You must LET GO of all those things that cause resistance to the creation of your dreams.
You must embrace the fact that your true work is from within.
It is in focusing on the thoughts and feelings that stir in you.
It is the realization that yes perhaps your BIG dreams are too big for you,
but NOT because they are actually too big,
but because of the practiced thoughts that you have around achieving them.

Do you believe that you must work hard for your dreams?
Do you believe that you must suffer in some way?
Pay a price to have your dream?
That you must earn it and become worthy of it?
Do you believe that you are being too selfish or greedy in wanting it?
Do you believe that dreamers only dream?

For decades I too have fought with these paralyzing beliefs. I grew up poor, my family struggled to make ends meet and my parents told me consistently that I could not have. My teachers and friends, society all supported these statements and educated me into believing that hard work, suffering and compromise was what had to happen and even with those things that at best I would live pay check to pay check.

Don’t think you can only work 8 hour a week Kendal.
Don’t think you can do something you love and get paid well for it.
Don’t think you can have a multi-six business with no college education.
Don’t think that you can travel the world.
Don’t think that you have a strong support system.
Don’t think that you can ever be loved.
Don’t…
Don’t…
Don’t….

STOP your dreaming, it will get you know where.
Those DREAMS are unrealistic, let’s bring it back a notch.

Yes here is what I was told.
Here are some of the thoughts that still pop up in my psyche today,
that have hindered me through the years.

Sound familiar?

Well REALITY CHECK….

The ONLY f-cking reason any dream is ever too BIG,
is because you believe it is too big for you and you look daily for evidence to support this stinking thinking.

That is it.
God gifted you with those dreams,
and God does not make mistakes.

You have those desires,
those dreams,
for a reason.

You and ONLY YOU,
are meant to manifest them.

You say you want to be worthy of them,
then act on them.
And you will be worthy.
Stop talking about it.

The BIGGEST action you need to take for your dreams manifestation is to come to terms with the fact that YOU ARE IN CONTROL of what you think about.

You can change your thoughts and your feelings,
thus your vibe,
and manifest anything you desire.

It all starts with what you are focusing on.

Stop being so serious about everything.
Dreaming is fun.
Dreaming is playful.
Dreaming is creative.

So why are you making it all out to be such a BIG chore?
Oh, because you have to suffer,
you have to turn it into work.

Well F-ck that sh*t!!!!

Dreams come into reality when you let go of all the drama and chaos.
When you embrace the JOY.
Do you really think that you are going to find the motivation to deliberately create your dream life when you are dreading taking action to do it?

Do you really believe that the answer to creating that freedom based life is to cause yourself more suffering and agony?

Do you really think that you are going to call into your world all the joy, love and abundance by fixating on worry and fear of not having enough?

I can tell you one thing for certain,
If you are not living your F-ck YES! Life right now in any way,
then you,
and only you,
can change it.

The answer is simple,
when you are in alignment to your soul,
you will feel good and the results will unfold like magic before you.

If you are not having these two things happen,
then you are NOT in alignment with soul.

You are denying who you really are.
And you are stepping away from your power.

Most likely because you were told you had too,
and it was the way to success,
somewhere along the journey,
you bought this lie.

And NOW you wake everyday,
looking for supportive evidence to make it a reality.

Consciously or not.
You are doing it.
And you can change it.

TODAY.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

No One Gives A Sh*t About Your Troubles.

No one really cares if you succeed or not.
No one really gives a rat’s rear end if you pay your bills or not.
No one really ultimately gives a shit.
How do I know this is true?
 
Well think about it…
Your friend tells you about their troubles,
the man next door shares about his job loss,
the woman at the school shares she has cancer,
your aunt says that she is terminal,
Your kid says that they are stressed about this or that,
your buddy at work get’s canned.
 
Sad but true.
These events happen every day.
You hear about them,
and you say,
OMG! I am so sorry.
I will pray for you.
You ask what you can do.
You feel bad for a few moments or even revisit the feeling here and there through out the day,
but at the end of the day,
you sit down on your couch,
you snuggle with your kids or your spouse,
or crash alone,
you watch whatever series on TV that you are caught up in,
and you ignore the miseries of others.
 
Right?
So why think that anyone else is doing something different when you share your sob stories.
 
the reality is that no one really cares if you succeed.
And to top it off,
almost everyone will eat away at your
TIME
ENERGY
MONEY
HEART
and whatever else they can absorb from you in the process.
 
Your friends,
Your family,
and any one that you allow too,
will step into your life and enjoy all that you have to give,
and keep taking from you until you say no,
or drop from exhaustion.
 
So why do so many of us, ‘find ourselves wrapped up in other people’s drama, if this is true?
 
Why do we allow for others to just leach off of us,
if at the end of the day it does not really matter?
 
Why do we extend ourselves to the point of breaking in some fashion, if no one really gives a shit?
 
Now I know that this may seem a little pessimistic here.
And I am not saying that we should not help.
That we should not ask for help.
 
What I am wanting to do is bring attention to the harsh reality of being human and living in a world of fellow humans.
 
We are all greedy mother f-ckers.
 
We want what we want and we want it for ourselves.
Even when we are “helping another” it is for ourselves.
 
It is most likely our ego,
wanting a pat on the back in some fashion,
even if it is just from ourselves to say, ” Yeah, I am a good person.”
 
Here is the reality,
here is the thought behind this share,
so often,
this aspect of our ego’s that desires to be just that,
“A good person,”
will lead us down the path of filling up our schedules with other peoples business.
 
The business that leads us to no where land.
The business that takes us into stress,
into chaos, and misery.
Worry and doubt.
The business that if we get real with ourselves,
we are stepping into because of our own fear of moving forward.
 
And so we fiddle around in this or that,
being a good person.
 
Taking the short term payout,
of feeling good about ourselves,
all the while,
denying our dreams.
 
When we allow others to dictate,
to control,
and to take priority on our schedules.
and in our lives,
our thoughts,
we hand over our power to them .
And we in essence say,
” I am sure that you will put me before you and do what is in my best good.”
We say,
” I have weak or no boundaries.’
” I do not value my own time or energy.”
” I need a reason to be a victim.”
 
And we do these things,
because yes we want to be good people.
We want to be liked.
We want to help others.
We feel lead to do them.
 
All great reasons.
However, all ego based.
 
And these ego based reason.
will NEVER lead us to the results in our lives that we desire.
They will only lead us to something other than success.
And that would be FAILURE.
 
And we will continue to experience this as long as we over give of ourselves based in ego.
 
If you want to claim that F-ck Yes Life.
If you want to build a multi-six or seven figure business.
If you want to have a phenomenal relationship.
Or any other dream or goal,
then you have to stop f-cking around.
And you have to make YOU #1.
Because no one else on this planet is going to,
and nor should they.
 
It is high time that you go do what you need to do,
to become whom you need to become.
 
Stop making excuses by getting caught up in everyone’s else’s live’s,
INSTEAD get caught up in your own.
 
Say YES to the most important person in your life.
YOU.
 
And as always,
Stop Exisiting & Start Living

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What’s Your Norm?

It’s f-cking AMAZING to be able to say that you live life the way you want to.
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to be able to look into someone’s eye’s and just drop down into your body and show up however you may feel, without any fear of being accepted or not.
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to embrace your gift’s and talents and experience God/Universe supporting you in your commitment to soul alignment.
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to wake up and to feel proud of yourself for the decisions that you have made and for the results that life is giving you because of them.
 
This is my life.
Can you say the same of your’s?
 
Do you live like this?
How would you describe your life?
( feel free to share a few statements in the comments on your life.)
 
Are you a .01%er person who COMMANDS in your life experience and blessing or do you just settle in and let life wash over you however it feels?
 
Do you look for opportunities to grow, expand and heal or do you surrender yourself to blame, guild, shame and regret?
 
What is your norm?
What are you accepting for this moment in your life?
What do you feel you would like to call into your life that you currently do not have?
What do you need to say good bye to to have this?
 
These are the soul questions that you MUST ask and ANSWER of yourself to achieve the results that you want.
Without asking these questions,
you will never fully know:
who you are
what to do
what you want.
 
Many times in life we choose to walk away from ourselves,
we do so with good reason,
but at the end of the day,
we will find ourselves facing death with regret, sadness and bitterness.
There is no one to blame either.
That is no one but the person who looks back at us in the mirror.
 
In life we get more caught up on what someone else thinks or their perspectives of us then we do about what we feel and think about ourselves.
We make many a decision based not on what is actually good for ourselves,
but what we feel will make another happy.
Will keep the peace.
There are times for this reasoning for sure,
however we must always STOP and PAUSE for a moment
and ASK ourselves if we really feel good about it or if this “thing” will lead us to some of the lower vibrations above?
 
The path to manifesting the life your soul wants,
the life that you most likely feel in your gut, ‘but may believe that you cannot have for whatever reason,
is not laid with your passive boundaries,
with your reasonable compromises,
with your lack of focus, fear, doubt, jealousy or excuses.

 

NO F-CKING WAY!!!!!

 
The path that you feel in your heart and soul, in your gut,
is laid with your passion, your commitment, your boundaries, your voice, your heart, your sweat, and your love for this life. It is measured by your joy. Not your pain.
 
We all have our stories we can share about our heartaches and struggles,
we have all suffered and felt pain and anger.
These tales unfold us,
they birth us into who we are,
they are chapters in our life,
but they will ONLY define us if we allow them too.
 
Those who are the .01%.
Those who are the one’s who WILL NOT SETTLE.
Those who feel the desire and recognize it for all that it is offering,
these are the one’s,
who step forward no matter what is at stake.
Who ask the hard questions.
Who stare themselves in the eye and say ” I love you, you are worth it.”
Who understand that the worst thing that can happen in this life is to die with your music still in you.
 
These are the one’s that I call to today.
This is the tribe that I crave to venture forward with.
These are the ONE’S.
 
Will you come with me into the final quarter of of this year and into 2019 CLAIMING YOUR LIFE?
 
Or will you settle?
 
It is always your choice,
It never has been any other way than this,
you cannot finger point any longer,
if you embrace your worth,
your soul,
your darkness,
and ask these questions above?
 

It is all YOU BABY!!!!

So WTF do you want to do with this life?

 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 

Join me this month for a 5 Week Intensive On Line Workshop that will help you do just this:

 
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” Five steps to a Freedom Based Life”
 
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Why Are You Settling For Less?

Sitting here in my favorite salon in Dallas.
The only place I go to get my hair done, matter fact.
I love Marcos and Jo so much if I ever move someplace outside of the big D, I will be flying back every couple months to get my hair done.

Seriously love Delilahs.
But this is not a testimony share for my amazing beautician.
It is however a writing of awareness.
Awareness to the reality that in life there are those things that we simply cannot settle for anything less with.
Its about the connection.
Its about the service.
Its about the care.
Its about the quality.

And once we find our home in something,
We don’t want to change it up for any reason.
Much like myself when it comes to my hair.

I feel this way about many things.
Like my office building.
My health care providers.

Why would I settle for anything less than the greatness that these souls offer in their work and service?

Why would I ever desire to go with something less than GREATNESS?

Sure I could get the services for less.
Probably a lot less.
If we get real.

But at what cost would those dollars saved actually cost me?

This is the truth that we tend to over look.

I am reminded about the true cost of our decisions and choices often.
From my hair appointment in this moment,
To my children’s schooling and long term educational rewards or disabilities that can come from my parental choices,
To my choice to remain
Or separate in a relationship.

If we are willing to do whatever it takes to get the best hair care, dental work, or schooling for our children.
If we are willing to attain the best real estate agent, attorney or even find ourselves going to the same pub over and over again because the bar tender is phenomenal and great to talk too,
Then why the f-ck do we settle in love.
Settle in our work.
Settle with our health.
Settle with our financial situations.

Why do we in these important areas of life allow for less than ideal?

I believe that because these areas are so important to our overall well being and life happiness,
That we find ourselves not feeling worthy of the greatness that we desire.
So we remain quiet.
We accept whatever we get.
We maintain and allow the cards to fall wherever they will.
We make statements like:
” Our relationship is great everywhere else, its just this one area. We can make due.”

” I have responsibilities. I can’t just do what I want. Who would pay my bills?”

” I don’t have the time. The money. The resources to go do….. or have ….”

” He/she loves me though. Loves the kids. Are a good person. ”

These statements of justification as to why…
Why we are choosing to settle.

Why we are allowing less than greatness into our lives.
All the while,
not embracing our truth.

The truth that we are terrified of something more.
Terrified of who we might be if we allowed better into our lives.
If we not just allowed
But commanded it into our lives.

After all if we started asking for this level of F-ck Yes! In all areas of our lives
Including the important ones,
We would have to acknowledge our weaknesses,
Our shadows,
And all the places we clutter up with fear and ego.
We would,
If we started to demand greatness in,
Have to transform ourselves into the person
Who can handle it.
Who can open up to it
And say,
F-ck YES!! I deserve this blessing.
I deserve this fairy tale life.

I am more than average and ordinary.
I am a child of God,
And God wants for his greatness to manifest
In all things.

It is my choice to open up to this greatness
Or to close myself to it.

It is up to me
To CLAIM My Life.
And STOP SETTLING,
For anything less than what God would want for me.

When we settle,
When we walk in fear,
When we doubt our worth,
We deny the greatness of God.
We deny Gods ability to move mountains,
And instead we proclaim him weak.

Your worthiness is never in question.
It is only your acceptance of your worthiness that needs worked on.

Stop settling for anything less than,
Stop living a life of existence.

This is your time,
Your moment to say,
F-ck YES!!!
I am a child of God.
And I am worthy of blessing.
Of his favor.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Me this week for the launch of my F-ck Yes Life Coaching Programs for Entrepreneurs.

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Carry Me Away

I am the woman who wants it all.
I want the Hollywood romance.
I want the worship.
I want the respect.
I want the abundance.
I want to be whisked away on along weekend to a surprise destination.
I want to be the center of someone’s world.
I want to feel the love streaming from his eye’s as much as his heart.
I want to be penetrated to my core in our love making.
I am a woman who wants it all.
 
I want to be carried away.
 
Yes, I want to be carried away like two lovers in a hot air balloon. Floating gracefully over the fields and houses below. Drifting off into the sunset, captured in an embrace that lives a lifetime.
 
I want it all.
 
As crazy as this idea sounds,
As scarce as it is in our world,
and as a coach who has spent years working with people who want the same, but never achieve it, never even taste of its sweetness,
I KNOW that it is possible.
 
I want it all.
I have tasted it before.
I crave its essence again in my life.
I KNOW it is possible.
 
The delicate moments of this hollywood romance may not be here forever, may only come here and there, but when they are here, I want to be embodied by them fully.
 
I want to open to them.
I want to be penetrated by them.
 
This morning as I sit out back writing in my journal,
casting my magical lyrics into the heavens, I heard the pressure of air being forced into a hot air balloon. There was a stillness in the energy, it was a peacefulness between the sound of the air pumps. Tapping into the rhythm of my heart and soul, I could feel the amazement, the love, the joy, the awe of being carried away in the balloon.
 
I stood and looked above the roof of my home, here a beautiful hot air balloon glided over my rooftop.
 
The ease.
The peace.
The flow of it.
 
They were being carried away.
The romance of the moment, even though it was not mine first hand dripped down on me as they drifted through the sky above.
 
Memories of my first hot air balloon ride fluttered up in me, bringing with it positive vibes of a moment in my past that brought a smile to my face and a longing in my soul.
 
I want it all.
I want to be carried away.
I want that flow.
I want that Hollywood romance.
 
I stood there in awe,
I stood there in bliss of a memory,
I stood there as my heart felt its joy,
I stood there as my heart felt it’s pain.
 
Breathing it in, I felt myself LONGING.
The wistful feeling of wanting.
 
A time that had past.
 
Was it lost forever?
Was the romance I craved gone forever?
 
I want it all.
Perhaps I am a crazy school girl,
innocent in her idea’s of love and life.
Believing that I can have it all and not settling for less than my soul’s desire.
 
Perhaps.
 
Perhaps not though.
 
Maybe this balloon drifting gracefully over my rooftop this morning was an awareness or a call to action of my soul. Perhaps it was something more than just me being a spectator to someone’s else’s joy.
 
Perhaps it was God saying, “Claim your life girl!”
 
What do you want?
What do you desire?
Find your flow and it is yours.
 
Ask and the door will open.
 
All that we desire, desires us as well.
I want it all.
I want to be carried away.
By my dreams.
By my lover.
By the romance.
By life.
 
I want to open to the rapture that this life is to be.
Romance is more than a Hollywood movie. Romance is about opening up and being penetrated by life in ALL WAYS.
 
We only do this through our allowing.
Allowing ourselves to feel the romance.
Feel the joy.
Feel the pain.
Feel the connection.
Feel the disconnect.
Feel the bliss.
 
Allowance is CLAIMING.
Allow yourself to DESIRE.
Allow yourself to be the center of your universe.
Ask for your souls f-cking desires.
 
Allow yourself to be carried away by your soul.
God wants you to fly.
God wants to penetrate your life.
God wants you to impregnate the universe with your desires.
God wants you to CLAIM your life as a righteous child of his.
 
This means to NOT step away from yourself.
This means to STOP hiding from your worthiness.
This means to ACCEPT your greatness.
 
You want to have it all?
You want the romance?
You want the orgasm?
You want the abundance?
 
Then effing STOP the insanity of running away from it and simply JUST CLAIM IT.
 
It is there for you.
Just like it is there for me.
 
I am CLAIMING my life.
Will you Claim Yours as well?
 

Will you?

Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

I Do Me Daily.

How do you do it, I get asked all the time.
 
People are always inquiring how can I juggle or balance being a mom of 7, running my own business, taking care of my dementia mom, doing the community events that I do, creating workshops/courses, writing and vlogging daily and still have time for anything else?
 
Like:
Dating
Sex
Travel
Play
Relaxation
TLC Moments
 
The truth is I have ton’s of time for all of it.
I get to have all of this because I have decided to claim my life.
Claim my bliss.
My Joy.
My ORGASM.
 

I CHOOSE.

I get to have all of this and people pay me with a smile on their face and excitement in their hearts because I show them how I do this daily.
 
I feed their souls.
By feeding my soul.
 
Yes. That is all I do to have all of this and keep on having it BIGGER and more of it.
I just simply do me.
 
I make no excuses as to who I am and what my desires are.
I make no excuses as my VERY human moments where f-ck up.
I allow myself to be seen, Just as is, all the f-cking time.
 
So how do I do it all?
How do I have the time, the finances, the energy?
 
How do I call it in?
 
#1 – Gratitude is the foundation of ALL that I do.
I am always offering up a prayer of gratitude to God. Even when shit seem’s to be hitting the fan, I am thanking God for it. I know that it only appears as shit because of my perspective and if I were able to see my life through heavens eye’s that it would appear much different and these challenges that our life presents to us are here with purpose. So I thank God even for the pain, the struggle, the heartache. By doing this I experience fewer down points and I consciously keep myself focused on the light at the end of any tunnel.
 
Gratitude creates a certainty that God always has your back.
 
#2 – Worthiness is KEY to success.
I am not any different than you when it comes to worthiness issues. I struggle in every moment around my worthiness. My up bringing showed me that I was most likely not worthy, society reinforced it. My actions in my youth right up to my actions of yesterday even support my lack of worthiness consistently. The ONLY difference is that I recognize all of that as ego bullshit. I have done my inner work and I continue to do my inner work DAILY to overcome and show myself that I am WORTHY. I claim my worthiness just like I claim my life. DAILY.
 
#3 – I Get Turned On.
I allow myself to get turned on, matter a fact I look for opportunities to get turned on. If nothing is presenting itself, I create it. I ask for it. I look for it. My turn on is about all of life NOT just sex. I look for ways to experience ORGASM in life and when I find that warming tingle that ignites me, I dance with it. I play with it. I eat it up and I open myself to God to be f-cked wide open. I welcome the penetration through my surrender and joy.
 
#4 – I spread my body in surrender daily so that God can worship me and I God.
There is not a day that goes by that I don’t open myself up to God so that the universe can flow through me. I write my opening in my daily journaling, I ask for the universe to carry me and I look for the opportunities that present themselves to me to achieve this. I understand the power that resides between my legs. Yes I understand the power of my sex and even in times when I want to close and shut down, I CHOOSE to open. I CHOOSE to receive orgasm. If only a small taste, I accept it and open consciously to more. I do this by putting my SEX as a priority. I allow God to worship me this way through my surrender to orgasm. The deeper I surrender, the deeper God penetrates me and the more extreme the worshiping which allows me a deeper worship with God as well. Worship in this form manifests my desires speedily because I am NOT trying to control it, I am just opening to it with a clear intent.
 
#5- Unapologetic Authenticity.
This one “should” be number one perhaps, as it is just as important as gratitude. Knowing yourself is not enough. Pretending to know yourself is far from tapping into greatness.
Being a follower will NEVER achieve the results you want.
Making excuses as to why you did this or that or are one way or another will never grant you any miracle or beauty. The ONLY way you get what you want is to unapolgetically be YOU!!!!! This means NO FOLLOWING. You can look for leadership, but you still must DO YOU 100%. Listening to society, friends, church, parents, spouse or other will only create a false you. It will only mask who you really are and encourage you to remain in the state you currently are. I learned a long time ago that BEING ME was the only way to my HAPPINESS. It has been a long journey and it is one that I walk with myself DAILY. I meet myself in every moment, with every person I come in touch with. I embrace all my aspects and have learned that the more I just let go of what I think everyone wants of me, the more everyone loves me and the happier I am. The better my message is, the deeper I can go and the greater light I can share.
 

SO how do I do it all?

How can a mom of 7 children ROCK her shit, take no excuses and live the F-CK YES! Life?
How can I go from $17k a year, bankruptcy, foreclosure and depression to a multi-six figure business, travel, ton’s of play, doing what I love and loving what I do.
Having a life that everything is just about me being me and living and getting paid F-cking Fantastic for it?
 
I just do the above.
I just follow my heart.
I let my soul lead.
I listen to my pussy you could say, if it turns me on, I do it.
If it turns me off, I don’t do it.
I have CERTAINTY that God has my back.
I count my blessings and I openly brag about them.
I keep my focus on my JOY.
 
That is what I do.
I DO ME DAILY Unapologetically.
 
What are you doing?

And as always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

I am the girl you love.

I am the girl.
I am that girl.
You know the one.
The one that makes your heart beat faster.
The one that makes you smile.
The one that makes you want to be more in this world.

I am the girl.
I am that girl.
You know who I am.
I am the one that takes your breath away,
in the darkest of hours.
I am the one who envelopes you,
in the moments of passion.
I am the one who holds you,
when you don’t want to show your pain.

I am the girl that you fall in love with.
I am everything.
I am nothing.
I am your sun and moon.
I am your darkest hour.
I am the one that makes you desire more,
I am the one that you fear.

You want all of me.
You love my spirit.
You love my heart.
You love the way I view the world.
You love my playfulness.
You love my passion.
You love my mind.
You love all of me.

Or so you believe…

I am too wild for you.
Your heart know’s this.

I am too much to hold on to.
You can not tame me.
You claim that you do not want to.

I am that girl.
I am that girl you love.
I am that girl that you love to love.
That you fear to love.

I am the girl of your dreams.
I am the girl of your nightmares.
I am the girl of your fantasies.
I am the girl that will make you feel your world.
I am the girl that will NOT settle.

Untameable.
Unstoppable.

I am the one that you desire,
to hold close all night.

You desire to know me deeper.
You desire to see my worst side,
because you know that it will just make you love me more.
You desire to penetrate me at all levels,
you want to taste of all my streams and valleys,
You want to climb deeper into my heart,
higher into my spiritual caverns,
You want to feel me.

Throughout.
Our flesh,
is not enough.

No.
You desire more.

I am the girl that cannot give this to you.
I am not able to give you what you desire.
I cannot give it.
I will never give it.

I am the girl that you fall in love with.
I am the one that makes you want to devour me.
You never want to leave me.
You will ALWAYS come back in hopes for more.

It is not there for you.
Or anyone.
It is not something you can have.
You crave my soul.
You crave to own me.
You say, “No, I want to see you fly.”
You say, ” I love you.”
You say so many beautiful words.
I am the girl that you love.
I am the girl that you cannot have.
Not at the level that you desire.

I will not part with myself so that you can have me.
I will not loose myself, so you can find a false version of me.
It is my courage,
My passion,
My wisdom,
My sex.

You love them.
You hate them.
You are jealous of them.

You do not know me.
You never will.
You are blinded by the light,
the light that you desire to capture,
like a firefly in a jar,
I cannot allow it,
it will kill my soul.

You do not know me.
You believe that you do,
but if you did you would see your truth.

The truth of not having me.

I am the girl.
I am that girl.
You know the one.

I am the one that you love to love.
I am the one that you fear to love.
I am the one that makes you meet yourself.
Then smiles.
And say’s goodbye.

*For all the girl’s who make their partners meet themselves.
*For all the girls who never sell their souls for anything less than truth.
*For all the girls who are loved for their radiant light that can never be captured.

We see you.
I see you.
You are loved.
You are brilliant.
You are an initiator of the divine masculine.
Open your angel wings,
Hold your men up high.
Let them taste of your nectar.
Envelope them in your love.
And set them free.
Free to meet themselves.
To fly,
beside you.
Yes, You are that girl.

Goddess.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

oin Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

Hell Hath No Fury.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

 
Or so the saying goes.
The past month of my life has forced me to step into a fury that I did not know existed to the level that it does. One event opening up the wounds to another. And that event opening up the wounds to another and another and another.
 
At first I sat with the events after they happened and was simply shocked.
Bewildered and lost.
 
Then I shut myself to the emotions that were coming up.
Then I opened.
Then I shut myself down again because under the emotions and the physical sensations of pain, fear and worry,
I discovered something much darker.
 
The darkness of a ghost that had been lingering in my midst for my life.
The darkness of a fear that I had been dancing with forever.
The darkness of my heart.
 
I found myself dancing with the feeling of being a victim and not wanting to be one, yet not being able escape the reality of what had happened and the knowing that in this moment, in this timeline, I was a
 
VICTIM.
 
I hate the word victim.
I don’t believe in being a victim.
I believe that no matter the situation that we are all spiritual volunteers here playing out our lessons in life. Expanding and evolving.
 
Evolving through pain.
Evolving through love.
Yet still evolving.
 
So to sit with the reality that I was a victim in this moment was something that hurt me to a point of rage in my emotions.
 
I am not a victim.
I am a strong mother F*cking Goddess!
I am the co-creator of my world.
I am a f*cking manifestor that creates her world with power, certainty and direction through my heart and by the guidance of God and my soul link.
 

I am not a victim damn it.

 
But yet, here I sit with the reality that in this part of my current time line,
 
Physically,
at very least I am just that ,
that I do not prescribe too.
 
A Victim.
 
And f*ck it hurts and is scary and shit to admit that yes,
I too could be feeling this fear.
Feeling this loss of the life that I new.
Feeling the uncertainty of the steps that I must take.
 
Yes, here I am, still feeling like somehow I deserved this.
I made it happen.
If I had not only done this or that.
Then surly things would not have escalated to the level that they did and I would not be physically hurt and broken.
That I would not be emotionally worn out and lost.
That my faith and trust in relationship would still be strong.
That what I believed or thought I knew as truth would still remain in tact and that my world would remain all that it had potential of being.
 
Yes certainly I must be at fault for all that has occurred.
Yes certainly I must have been the culprit of this disaster.
I was not good enough.
I was too much.
I wanted to much.
I cared to deep.
I spoke to much of my truth.
I should have coward in the face of the danger instead of standing to face it.
I should have just shut up and got in my place.
 
After all,
I am just a woman.
 
Who am I to think anything other than the reality that I am just a woman.
 
It is a man’s world.
He’s the boss.
It is his house.
His car.
His world.
His right.
 
His right to command.
To command me.
To command how things go.
To command my actions.
My thoughts.
My feelings.
My words.
 
If I had just not spoke.
If I had just not inquired.
If I had just not followed.
If I had just let it be.
If I had just been a good woman,
and did what I was told.
 
Told…
 
Yes told.
 

“You will STOP!”

 
He wanted me to stop,
he wanted me to be quiet,
he wanted me to not inquire,
follow,
speak my truth,
stand up for my child,
for myself.
He wanted me gone.
He wanted me deleted from his life.
He wanted me to STOP.
 
If I had just listened.
 
I am not a victim.
I am a mother F*cking Goddess!!!!
Goddesses are not commanded to STOP.
To not speak their hearts.
Their truth.
To break in the face of danger.
To run in the face of danger.
To feel shame about their humanness,
their love,
who they are or anything else.
 
Goddesses do not abandon their children when danger is present.
Goddesses do not fear the outcome.
They command the outcome.
The outcome is one that is ALWAYS one,
one that in the long run supports the beauty,
the love,
the truth,
the heart,
the soul, the power of God that moves through each of us.
 
He fell in love with the Goddess,
but he wanted to tame her.
He wanted to own her.
He wanted to control her.
To shut her up and be her ruler.
 
Goddesses only have one ruler.
The Great Divine.
The Almighty.
Lord.
God.
Creator of All.
That is the only ruler of a Goddess.
And we are lead by our hearts.
 
Those hearts lead us to follow when we see our lover is in pain.
When we see our child is hurt.
When we know we are not being heard, seen or felt,
Those hearts lead us to speak up not become quiet.
 
And certainly not become quiet because we are commanded too.
 

F*ck That!

 
Hell hath no fury like a Goddess scorned.
That is how the statement should go.
 
But he,
he is the lucky one.
He scorned a Goddess,
a woman who know’s who she is,
who is not afraid to speak out,
to be vulnerable,
to forgive but not forget,
 
he is the lucky one.
Because in his actions she FINALLY witnessed his truth.
 
And he may not be strong enough to see it but she is.
She see’s his pain,
his fear,
his lack of truth,
his lies not just to her,
but to himself.
 
She see’s how deeply he is hurting,
his feeling of not being worthy,
his discomfort with integrity.
 
She see’s his shame and how he hopes to shame her.
 
She see’s him.
She see’s herself.
 
Yes.
 
I am not a victim.
I am a F*cking Goddess.
 
No matter what the experience, I KNOW that God has my back.
No matter what the result I know that I am the co-creator of my reality.
No matter what the feelings, or the physical challenges that are upon me, I know that I
 
 
People come into our lives.
They serve their purpose as we do in theirs.
We often feel betrayed, hurt, scorned and victimized.
This is all part of our path.
 
Our evolution.
 
But even in evolution we get to choose,
choose our reactions,
which lead us to the next phase of our own personal reawakening.
 
We get to choose how we evolve.
Every action has a reaction.
 
We choose what those are.
We have conscious thought.
That conscious thought can trump our ego and our core beliefs if we want it to.
We can decided.
 
NOW.
In this moment,
To love fully.
To heal quickly.
To not break.
To expand.
To express.
To be vulnerable.
To be worthy.
 
To COMMAND our life to be the life that manifests our dreams.
 
I may be a victim in the essence of the physical and emotional abuse that I have experienced in the last short bit of time,
 
But I am NOT a victim to life.

 

I am a mother F*cking Goddess!!!

 
I may be scorned,
and scorned deeply from multiple sources,
 
But I am not a victim,
because I KNOW
I know I get to choose my outcome.
 
My path.
My reaction.
I know that God has my back.
 
And I surrender my heart to that.
 

What do you choose?

 

And remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

Are you a woman that feel’s scorned? Hurt? Scared to step into her Mother F*cking Goddess Power? 
Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.
 
 
 

Sexuality & Tantra (AKA – The Art of Living Fully)

shivashakti

Often I am asked “What is Tantra?” my answer to this question is – “Tantra is everything!”

But that answer is often to simple yet complex for many people to truly grasp what I am saying. So I have decided to take a moment and share what I mean in this statement of “tantra is everything.”

Tantra is about weaving together all parts of our life. That is why when we teachers/practitioners speak about improving our sexuality and sex lives that we also say that this will affect all other areas of our lives such as our relationships with our parents, siblings, children, co-workers and anyone who walks into our lives. Yet Tantra is NOT about sex alone. Matter a fact if you truly studied tantra and the teachings of the Dali Lama on the matter you would discover that sex is only about 5% to 10% at best of Tantra.

Why does sex get focused on then when we speak about Tantra?

There are a few reasons for this.

1. Sex sells! – Now I know that many of my fellow teachers out there just cringed at me saying this, but I am a realist in many ways and the facts are the facts. Sex is sexy. Sex is captivating and interesting. Sex is something we all desire more of and we are all under educated in. Sex is something that we know at our core is good for us for more reasons then procreation. Sex sells because it turns us on at our deepest levels. It always has and it always will.
2. Sex is normally the final frontier to tackle for even the most spiritual, self-growth focused, courageous, driven soul out there. And it is the one that is most interconnected to every aspect of our lives and to the world in general. Our sexing affects everything. That is why we focus on sexuality when we speak Tantra. Tantra in this area is about making our sex conscious.

Now this may seem different then what you were expecting. Hopefully it is comforting to know that Tantra and sex are NOT about prostitution (although those in this line of work who understand certain groundwork, certainly are sexual healers and not just working to make a quick buck so someone else can relieve some stress). Tantra does not make use of our sexuality so that one can experience a hot “body to body rub” either. Tantra makes use of our sexuality because through our sexing we create or lives. We create the structures of our futures. We manifest our desires, dreams and goals. We learn to face our shadows as well as our light and we learn how to fully love, accept and live in gratitude. Through our sexing we learn the importance of Living Fully, and this is Tantra.

This is why you will hear me speak about Gourmet Sexing verses Fast Food Sexing.

Gourmet sexing is a spiritual practice of deep love and acceptance. Not only of our partner but of ourselves and of all of life.

Gourmet sexing is healing. It can help us to release past programs, trauma and suffering. It can be the creative spark that changes everything and helps us to transform our very existence. Through gourmet sexing we find peace and bliss. This is Conscious Sex!

Fast food sexing is all about using ourselves or another for stress release or power. It is about controlling another. It is about quick fixes, disconnectedness, limited to no intimacy and remaining unconscious to all our levels of being. Fast food sexing is a short circuit to living fully. It prevents us from ever achieving the beauty, connection and authentic loving that we so desire. It disenables us from our true power and thus from bliss.

Perhaps these terms will help you to understand a bit better the significant role that sex plays on our lives and that through the art of Tantra we can achieve what we all desire. A live lived well and full. A life of appreciation, love, acceptance, honor and conscious bliss.

So what is Tantra?

Tantra is the Art of Living Life Fully!

Now the only question is. “Will you accept the journey of conscious living?”

I sure hope so because you my friend ARE WORTH IT!!!!

–KW

Healing Your Genital Armoring

bodyarmor

Article by Margo Anand

Picture by kotaku.com

Body armoring is a process whereby past traumatic experiences are stored in the body’s muscle tissues. What happens is that the body’s tissues harden, creating tension and blocking energy in the area that has been traumatized. By armoring itself, the body’s intention is to reduce its vulnerability to pain. But this process has the parallel effect of reducing our capacity for feeling pleasure.

In this regard the male and female sex organs are as prone to armoring as the rest of the body and can function at a reduced level of sensitivity. In fact, because the sexual organs have been subjected to vigorous condemnation from childhood onward, the genital area has become a major storehouse of negative imprints, greatly reducing our capacity for sexual pleasure and preventing full enjoyment of orgasmic release. Think about it for a moment. Traces of the emotional content of every unsatisfactory sexual experience have been recorded in the muscular tissues of your genitals, building up tension in the area so slowly that you did not even suspect that it was happening.

In men, circumcision, early experiences of guilt and fear associated with masturbation, clumsy prostatic examinations, and a compulsion to demonstrate “masculinity” by being forceful and thrusting in lovemaking all contribute to genital armoring. This armoring can manifest itself as a hardening of the penis, causing penile insensitivity that requires extremely strong stimulation in order to achieve arousal or, by contrast, it can result in an oversensitivity and fragility of the foreskin that translates into the attitude, “Don’t touch me!” Armoring in men also manifests itself in the form of chronic tension in the anal sphincter muscles, involuntary erections, and an attitude of sexual greed – the need for repeated genital stimulation.

In women, armoring can be caused by guilty masturbation, forceful male fingering, sexual intercourse without sufficient foreplay, making love when you don’t feel like it, failing to reach orgasm, having an abortion, or undergoing a caesarean birth or a hysterectomy. These contribute to the build-up of insensitivity in tissues around the vagina and pelvis. This tension manifests itself most commonly as a subtle tightness or stiffness in a vagina that never fully relaxes, even during intercourse. As a result, it is only narrowly receptive to the male organ.

Through working with many women, I have been able to create an “armoring map” of the vagina, showing how certain types of fears are related to specific areas of the female sex organs.
• Vaginal lips: fear of opening, shame, desire to hide, a feeling of “l can’t do this!”
• Clitoris: nervousness, distrust, impatience, holding tight, like clenching your fists or teeth when you don’t want to express your anger
• Perineum and perineal sponge: difficulty letting go into pleasure, numbness
•G spot: sexual frustration as a result of faking orgasm, performance anxiety, feeling inadequate, pushing for orgasm and not getting it
•Vagina canal around cervix: anger, expecting the worst, neediness, feeling like a victim, abortions, and childbirth traumas
If you are not sure whether genital armoring applies to you, try answering these questions. Think about them slowly rather than giving a reflex response:
Women: Were you forced into sexual intercourse or sexual manipulation at an early age, before you were ready?

Have you ever made love because your partner was turned on, even though you didn’t feel like it?

Have you ever felt your partner left you “hanging in mid-air” while he was already “over the edge”?

Have you ever faked an orgasm?

Men: Have you ever made love as a performance, even though you had no enthusiasm for it?

Have you ever found yourself so busy giving pleasure to your woman that you forgot about your own pleasure?

Both: During sex have you ever found to your dismay that you couldn’t feel anything “down there”?

Have you ever made love as way of avoiding confrontation with your partner or covering up your anger?

Have you ever believed that everyone else was sexual and orgasmic, while you were lagging way behind, feeling just a trickle of a sensation?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you probably have some body armoring in your genitals. This armoring also translates into psychological attitudes -for instance, feeling uncomfortable talking about your sexuality or your genitals, or feeling discomfort when your lover examines your genitals. Working with hundreds of people, I have found that armoring seriously inhibits sexual sensitivity and therefore blocks deeper pleasure. I have also found that it is difficult for people to be open to the ecstasy of High Sex until the whole genital and anal area has been cleaned of imprints left by negative sexual experiences. Only through direct, hands-on, loving massage around and inside the genital area can we effectively heal these past wounds and transform pain into, pleasure. To do this we need to direct our full attention and acceptance to the way our genitals feel.

When the penis is healed, it becomes flexible, warm, and vibrantly alive when erect. In addition to the stimulation provided by vigorous sexual intercourse, this increased sensitivity enables the man to receive pleasure by resting his penis in the vagina in a gentle, relaxed, non-demanding way. Prior to healing, he may not have been able to feel anything without continued stimulation.

When the vagina is healed, it becomes naturally yielding, soft, and welcoming, allowing a sense of trust and playfulness in lovemaking. The vaginal muscles are elastic and respond to the penis by massaging it naturally.

Love and acceptance are the key ingredients for healing. That is why we need to understand the meaning of loving ourselves and our bodies before we can even think of making love with another person. Only then are we fully ready and available for the joys of ecstatic lovemaking.

READ Entire Artice at Tantra.com (No Longer Available)