You Are Right, You Do Not Deserve It!

Let me ask you this, are you:

Shamelessly stepping into your success?

Shamelessly stepping into your abundance?

Shamelessly Saying YES to Yourself?

At our core if we don’t feel worthy, then we are not going to receive. Because we are not going to allow ourselves to receive.

We all battle worthiness issues. I know I do.

We are told that we should not focus on self. To love self is almost condemned in our society. It is crazy to think that it is far more accepted  to hate on yourself than to love yourself. But we are shamed for doing just this.

If we “think to much of ourselves.”

If we ” love on ourselves.”

If we ” speak to highly of ourselves.” 

We are shamed.

Don’t be selfish.

Don’t be self-centered.

Many of us were told that to be self-less was the desired path.

That we are to give of ourselves until we can give no more.

And that we should be able to keep giving and not need any replenishment of any kind, especially any self- love, care or acceptance.

And MOST certainly NO BRAGGING!

The thing is, you cannot consistently give at any decent level if you are not receiving some form of nurturing, love or pleasure. You must receive and feed yourself in order to be able to take care of others or achieve any sort of result you may desire in life.

You must allow yourself to receive love, care and other things in order to keep yourself in a state of being able to give and do.


So here you go.  What I am speaking about is worthiness.

And what that comes down too is being selfish.

At our core we HAVE to have worthiness in order to create all our dreams, accept love, receive any abundance or success.

Even most of your needs will not come to you if you have worthiness issues.

Have you ever noticed that when something good just happens out of the blue, you know when you have that really good luck drop on you, how it is hard to believe that it did.

You cant believe that you had that sort of good luck.

You cant believe that you got that blessing.

You cant believe that you had that miracle happen.

Do you feel like these events are coincidences?

Or do you send out gratitude and stand in expectation for more because you KNOW  that you are worthy?

If your anything like the majority of peeps out there you most likely live in a state of lack of belief that you deserve anything. Which is where the shock of the good shit happening to you comes in. That is that, “Woohoo, OMG! moment.” Yes in this moment of praise you are excited but unbelieving that you are worthy of such yummie gifts from God. When we step into this pattern of disbelief and say such things as, “ I cannot believe this happened to me.” you are showing your lack of worthiness in the blessing.

Well, is it your true lack of worthiness or is it your belief that you are not worthy?

In those experiences and events you are stating that you don’t deserve this goodness to come into your lives.


When I use words such as gratitude and expectation or child like enthusiasm what I am saying to you is that THIS is a true state of worthiness. It is the act of receiving our blessings and knowing that there is more to come, because more is already coming.

The ONLY way those blessings will not show up is if you have doubt that they will. If you believe that God will not provide for you and that God is somehow wanting you to suffer.

Imagine if you put as much faith and expectation into having abundance in life as you do about living in scarcity?

What would your life be like?

I can tell you what it would be like because I have shifted my own personal shit around this topic and went from raising five children on welfare, in a bad marriage, starting to have health issues, and only having a household income of $17,000. Constantly struggling, moving from house to house, never knowing if the power or water would be on or if I could afford the basics for my family to having stability, savings, debt freedom, incredible loving relationships all around, a multi-six figure income, travel, a clean bill of health and living what I call a F*ck YES! life

This is what happens when you start to love yourself.

This is what happens when you start  to appreciate yourself.

This is what happens when you understand that God is great and wants your greatness to shine as well.

This is what happens when you heal your shame and embrace your worthiness.


You MUST start to say yes to taking care of yourself and STOP holding on so firmly to the reigns of fearful control and instead open your arms up and embrace the blessings that are falling all around you.

If you continue to condemn yourself then you will continue to remain in victim status in your life and will NEVER reap the bounties of joy, love, abundance and health that is RIGHT before you.  You will continue to feel disconnected, unloved, unworthy, lost and even forgotten.

Life will become all about duty and responsibility.

It will be filled with stress, anxiety, fear and depression.

But it does not have to be that way!


You can have everything RIGHT NOW by simply loving yourself and expecting miracles, expecting blessings, expecting in FAITH that it is not just coming, but already here.

That is the ONLY trick that you have to learn.

In order to achieve this though you must do these three things:

  1. Pay attention to the mental masturbation you have going on. The chaotic, fear based thoughts that you find yourself dancing with all day. Do you wake up to these thoughts? Do you fall asleep to them? Today commit to starting your day by saying 5 things you are grateful for and end the day as you lay your head down to sleep with five things that you are in gratitude for having happen in the day. This simple practice will change your world and quickly help you feel more worth in receiving abundance.
  2. You must accept RIGHT NOW that self-esteem comes from no where else but inside you.  You must accept yourself without complaint and be willing to work on all aspects of self without contempt or lapse into negativity. This means take FULL responsibility for your life and what is and is not in it.  Focus on removing your ego’s dominant need to cast blame.
  3. Stop feeling guilty about having good shit happen. Stop shrinking down your blessings and feeling like you “should” not have what you have.  You must commit to no longer accept guilt into your life. If you are feeling guilty about things that you have done in  your past dig a little deeper and realize that what you most likely are calling guilt may be remorse instead. With regret we gain a learning opportunity, with guilt we are in a state of reproach.


Claim your worthiness by saying YES to yourself NOW

Love yourself one mustard seed worth of what God loves you and watch abundance fill your life. 






The Average Woman is a Prostitute ( Guest writer Addison Bell)

pros·ti·tute (ˈprästəˌt(y)o͞ot/)

(noun) 1. a person, in particular a woman, who engages in sexual activity for payment.

The above is Google’s definition of a prostitute, and this is the common definition across many sites. A person engaging in sexual activity for some form of payment. Thus making today’s average woman a prostitute, married, single, doesn’t matter, we have become a gender that sells our bodies.

Let me tell you a little personal story from a few years back… I had been out on three dates with a very nice man. He would take me to some nice restaurants, we would have a good conversation, and on this particular 4th date, he even brought me some beautiful flowers. I liked him as a person and enjoyed our time together, but wasn’t feeling a particular strong sexual connection, and thus, I had not gone there with him. However, I began to feel guilty… he had taken me out on these very nice dates and even started to jokingly mention that he had taken me out, bought me some nice flowers, but yet we still had not had sex. So despite my disinterest in sex with him, on this 4th date, I caved, although not being conscious of my thought process at the time, I felt because of the time/money he had spent on me that I somehow owed him sex if I desired to keep dating him. I let him buy me a beautiful dinner and then afterward let him have sex with me, which was disconnected and meaningless. He, in a way, bought my body at this moment. I had prostituted myself for some food, flowers, conversation, and attention.

Years later, as a Sex & Relationship Coach, I cannot say that I have ever had a woman come into my office that has not sold her sex in some way to a partner. And if I’m brutally honest, married women are often the biggest offenders. It does not matter if you are selling your sex for actual finances (including financial security), physical objects (home, car), experiences (restaurants, events, plays), or in exchange for a false sense of connection. When we use sex as any form of commerce, we are doing just what we shame and demoralize, and technically incarcerate women around the country for daily.

I know there are probably some women out there reading this and thinking, “that’s not the same thing” and you can try to convince yourself with this reason or that, let your Ego use tons of excuses, or separate yourself because you have a diamond ring on your finger, but that does not get you off the hook energetically! The moment our bodies and sex become a bargaining chip, whether for gain, or out of a sense of duty, we are entering the land of prostituting our bodies, minds, and most of all, our spirits.

I’ve had several Christian clients tell me that their “job” from a Christian perspective is to take care of their man in this way and live up to their “wifely duties” in a sense. I am calling bullshit on this. God did not create the beautiful, sensual, and magnificent female body to be sold, but instead to be cherished. The Creator wants us to share ourselves from a deep, meaningful, and purely loving space and not in order to get something in return. Females have been given a uniquely divine power and beauty in our sexuality that when not used from a place pure of heart is diminished, disrespected, and that inevitably leads us to disconnection from self. When we say yes when we either don’t want it or are ambivalent about it, then we are not only using our bodies, but we are also raping ourselves. Harsh, but yet still the truth.

This is not to make all women shame themselves; goodness knows we already do enough of that, but instead to bring awareness. Why is it okay that we incarcerate and shame women that are doing exactly what most women are doing, but just in a more direct way? Being upfront and honest about the fact instead of hiding it under layers of excuses, self-separation, and judgment. From a personal perspective, I have way more respect for a woman that knows that she is using her sexuality as a tool and/or that she desires to use it as a tool than a woman that hides and tries to cover this fact up and doesn’t own her power. At least these women are tapping into themselves in some way as opposed to the woman that has duty sex and gives her body away for things, feelings, experiences, but hides behind religion, obligation, or it coming from a lack of self-empowerment. I would much rather a woman stand in her power and directly ask for money for her body than having obligational duty sex and disempowering herself. Not that it is ideal, but she is at least owning what she is choosing to sell her body, unlike the average woman.

Although I stated at the beginning of this that all women had prostituted themselves in some way, I don’t think all women continue to do this in their lives. I believe the average woman in America does this frequently because we are raised in a society that promotes this type of thinking through media, pornography, religious doctrines, and teaching our girls to separate from their desires, needs, and emotions while teaching our young boys in a backhanded way that sex is something owed.

Though it doesn’t have to be this way for women! The second a woman knows that her sexuality is indeed powerful and begins to live in alignment with her true desires, then she has begun to take a step out of this process. When we start to only have sex when we truly desire it, to not allow sex to be an obligation or something owed, then sex becomes something deeper. By also recognizing and forgiving ourselves when we ‘fall down’ and do indeed use our sex/bodies as a form of commerce, then we also take a step forward. The second we begin to revel in our sexuality and bodies in the way that God meant and for us to delight in our passions and desire, then we also take a step away from this cultural standard. And if you do choose to continue to use commerce in your sexing that you, at the very least, own it! Own it as an empowered choice and something you desire and separate from B.S. excuses.

This all does not mean that you’re not ever going to accept a man buying you a drink, taking you out for an evening, or giving you a gift. No, this means that you allow yourself to be in the feminine and receptive mode, but only step into sex if your heart is in it. It is you asking for what you desire at the moment, whether this be to have sex or not to have sex. It’s if you are married that you don’t give your man oral sex just to get him off your back, or because it is a special occasion. It is allowing yourself to play in your sexuality, sensuality, and allowing it to be powerful, but knowing you do not owe your sex, body, or sensuality to anyone.

This is how we step out of being the average prostitute. Where in your life are you selling yourself? Where are you using your sex and your body as a sense of commerce? And if you are a man, then where might you be expecting the woman in your life to prostitute herself?


READ ORIGINAL Article and Contact Author HERE

Why I Am Such A Bitch to Men.

Little girls are taught to smile, be polite and make sure to not ask for too much or be too demanding.

Little girls are told that it is their responsibility to take care of others.

Little girls are told that it is their fault if a boy says, thinks or does something based in sexual attitude to them.

Little girls are told that only “bad” girls speak about their desires or ask for them.

And you know what all of this bullsh*t does to us women?

It causes some seriously unhappy women that have no clue what they want and are loaded with shame and guilt. It is the beginning of a life long plague where we grown ass women attract all the wrong men in our lives and scare away the good guys left and right because we are lost little girls hiding in this grown up body, pretending to have all our sh*t together STILL trying to be a “good girl” like we were taught.

And you know what this bullsh*t does to men?

It teaches them that women are their for the use and the toss away. It teaches them that they don’t have to earn us nor work on themselves to keep us. It teaches them that sex is a transaction and that women should be happy with what they get back from a guy which is typically some slimy come on laced with some expectation.

These teachings that our youth get contribute to the crappy dating world we live in. They are the foundations of the issues in our relationship saga’s and our marriage crisis’s.

We speak about monogamy but what we don’t understand is that with it or ANY relationship outline that each  of us MUST be committed to each other and to our own growth and the growth of the relationship. Relationships are not easy, they require work, commitment and compassion. Here is the issue, often we get into a relationship way to quickly and we throw ourselves into the deep end and expect that commitment is a sure thing. We also expect that this commitment is going to allow us to not have to work so hard any more and that we can just relax and soften the courting ( on both sides). Commitment means that sex should just happen, when we want it and that it is part of our relationship duties that we should be damn happy about.

This is all so far from any truth, yet this is what relationship after relationship goes through.

These issues would all come to a halt if they never had an opportunity to get started.

And here is why I am a bitch to men.

I am a bitch to men because when a man messages me a random text, email, FB message and asks me a dumb question like:

” How old are you?”

“What’s your name?”

“Are you married?”

“How are you today ?”

“What’s up?”

(and these are opener liner’s)

Or simply just says, “Hi.” and leaves it at that. I can tell that I have a winner of a man in my presence. Yeppers, this man is committed to only one thing and it is not to getting to know me or exploring any sort of relationship. No he is more than likely hoping that I am as desperate as him and will send him a picture or get into a sex chat with him so that he can jack off to my words and picture and be done. Once again proving that men in today’s world have been taught that women are their for the usage, their pleasure and can easily be disposed of.

Take this into the dating world and you get the guys who think that it’s okay to assume that sex or anything will happen just because they have asked a woman out.  If they buy dinner well then, what are they getting in return? If they have taken a woman out three times then she better put out.

Our society norm on relationship is that it is ALL about the QUICK, EASY HOOK UP.

It is not just the men’s fault here.

Us ladies have a BIG role in this as well.

We allow this kind of attitude to flourish by the way we act.

Not being authentic from the start. Leading men on in one way and at the same time keeping ourselves locked away and not sharing what we are wanting in a relationship. Thinking  that the way to a man’s heart is through his cock and giving him easy sex right up front.

Ladies, this is NOT the way to capture a man. You can have many “boys” to play with but a man will want more of you than just your sex. And a man will be willing to take things slow, be present with you and show you in many ways that you are more than just a booty call or friend with benefits. These men are willing to court and do so NOT because of some duty or because they think that women cannot do things such as open doors and pull out chairs or pay a tab, but because it brings them pleasure to pamper you and take care of you. Because they are operating in their divine masculine and love being a man that is strong in himself thus can support a woman in her feminine.

They also, do not have a desire for you to have sex with them out of duty because they just paid for dinner. No they only desire to have you sexually when you are ready and wanting it too.  They understand that it takes an emotional connection and level of trust to be open to having pleasurable sex and intimacy and that it is NOT about the pump, pump, ooooh, goo experience that they could have in the privacy of their own bathroom with their hand but that when you finally come together in this way that his pleasure will be intensified by your surrender due to the trust building and emotional connection that you both created on the front side.

These sort of men, through their own energy and personal power and confidence in them selves and life make a woman want them in every way from the first moment of meeting.

It is NOT something that can be faked either.

These men desire a WOMAN not a girl.  They want someone stable in who she is, comfortable in her feminine energy and NOT shadowing her beauty with a need to prove that she is a better man than he. These men value authentic women, not manipulation and game playing. They want us women to show up as we are in any moment, raw, beautiful and in our power as a woman.

These men smile at our fire, our passion, our hearts desires. They are willing to hold space for our tears and they value emotions, ALL of them.

These men even if scared, desire more to be strong in themselves and in worship of their love to their woman than to try an control her through some belittling program of duty that only kills a relationship. They know what they want, they know it is work and there will be emotional times. They understand that in order to keep  a real woman in their life that they must ALWAYS strive to be a better man then what they were the day before and have as much compassion for themselves as they do for her.

This is why I am a bitch to men.

NOT all men. 

Just the chosen men that are not men to start with but little boys, insecure in themselves and fearful of any true depth of relationship or intimacy. These men I am a bitch too, because why would a woman settle for anything less than an authentic superior man who is on purpose, in love with life and self and fully ready to envelop her in his heart.

Why would a woman settle for a man that cannot or refuses to match her radiance and love with his own?

Why would a woman settle for anything less than what God wants her to have? God wants us women to ask men to stand up and be men, in their power and glory and with their hearts and souls, not just their” little heads.”

Ladies why are you settling?



I Don’t Work… Why Do you?










What a lovely trip to Boca Raton Florida I had this last week. It is trips like this one that just make my heart smile. Having the privilege to work with a dynamic couple, enjoy connection, conversation, good food and being able to share powerful teachings with such high consciousness souls… THIS, this is a F*CK YES!

People ask me all the time what I do for work…
You know here is the truth.


I get to share.
I get to just be me and share the knowledge and gifts that I have been given and learned how to tap into through the last 20+ years of my life.
And I get to do this with people I truly adore.

Many days, I feel like I am playing.
Many days I feel like if someone actually “caught” me in my work they would wonder what the hell I am doing.

Because enjoying life this much and doing the things that one loves DAILY, is not understood in our world.

But is most certainly, the GOAL I believe for many.
And it is our God given right as well.
The freedom and bliss that we can have in doing our true work far passes anything that is just paying the bills and causing our heads to ache and our muscles to constrict from the stress.

No, doing your life’s calling is WHERE IT IS AT BABY!

This is what my week has been about.
Sure it had it’s sexy moments.
It had it’s heart pounding, tear jerking, stomach clenching moments.
But ALL of the moments were PRESENT MOMENTS.
They were captured in love.

And I was HONORED to be the one to do the “work” with these beautiful souls.
Honored to spend another week of my life LIVING my WORK, not just SURVIVING my week.

Can you say the same for your week?

I ask you this not to flaunt anything but to get you to ask a VERY important question about your life and where you are at in it.

Have you considered why you are settling for less than what God’s wish for your life is?

How does this question make you feel in your body when you read it?

Do you even know what greatness God desires for your life?

And how the heck can you figure out what this greatness is and how you can achieve it?

I promise you this…

This greatness is NOT about just existing and paying your bills, fulfilling your duties and being a “good” person.  It is not about waking up Monday morning and dreading your day and week or looking at Friday with a “Oh, Thank Goodness.”  No this is NOT living folks.

If you want to live that F*ck YES! Life, that is freedom based and full of desire and purpose then all you need do is to question your own heart. Truly just tap in and start to feel what resides as your hearts desire.

Many great visionaries, teachers and leaders through the course of time have told us to “follow our hearts, they will not lead us astray” yet we consistently allow our minds logic to rule over our hearts and find ourselves off of our true paths and living a life of duty, stress, and endless fatigue. We walk through our days and weeks like we are zombies and we wonder where passion for anything has gone.

If you are wanting to find your passion, your desire for life and the direction that God wants for you then it is up to no one but YOU.

Ask, Seek, Knock.

These words they stir a lot of fascination, desire and confusion for us humans. What does it mean to ask, seek and knock? Whom are we asking? God? How will he answer? How will we hear? This is the main question of concern because until we learn how to listen we cannot find direction in our lives. We simply are walking through our world blind. To ask and be able to listen, one must prepare themselves for the communication. This simply put means that YOU must make a commitment to find STILLNESS in your life and then eagerly and with expectation look for the answers to come to you.  You MUST remain CONSCIOUS and listen with an active heart which will incorporate your thoughts, feelings, sight, hearing and experiences for the response from the Divine.  If you ask and then go directly into your chaotic thoughts focused on your past experiences and fear based thinking then you will miss your messages and be lost.

How do you feel about spending 15 minutes a day in silence with yourself?

Does this seem like too big of a chore? Or are you hungry to listen to the path that is before you?

If you are hungry then the ONLY work you need ever do is to ASK and then LISTEN. You will be guided with ease and grace to your desired life. You were born for greatness and not for struggle. The reason we struggle is because we argue and try to control with our logical minds a force that is far greater than ourselves.

Stop handcuffing God.

You too can have a freedom based life. You were born to be free and to live a purposeful, desire based life full of blessing. If you fill yourself up with un-needed chaos, fear and worry then you prevent this life from manifesting for you and in turn you curse yourself with AVERAGE and ORDINARY.  You curse yourself through your inability to SAY YES to your hearts desire and to the promise of God.

Ask and it shall be given.

God always say’s yes to us. It is our sabotaging ways that block the blessings from forming in this reality. Our doubt is the true culprit to our suffering.

And you know what will take much of your suffering away?

CERTAINTY in your heart.

CERTAINTY in your purpose.

CERTAINTY in your faith.

CERTAINTY in desire.

And Most CERTAINLY doing your life’s calling is WHERE IT IS AT BABY!

Dig in deep and find yours now.

You deserve to live on PURPOSE and FULFILLED.

This sort of work is pleasure.

What’s Your pleasure?


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Watch “What About You?” NOW.



The Day the Earth Stood Still.

” There must be alternatives. You must have technology that could solve our problem.”  – Quoted from the 1951 Movie The Day the Earth Stood Still

Breathless I feel my heart clenching, holding on for dear life. My ego throwing a fit beyond measure, wanting to rage and destroy, cry and break beneath the pressure of the pain.  I sit there, just  reading over and over again the words that every cell in my being feared the most. How could this be? Why would this happen? How could the love not withstand, and God deny something so beautiful, powerful, and divine? Why would God not desire for our worship of him to come through our relationship and be a path of grace for others. An example of the blessings and beauty that he desires for us?

Ego chanting words of anger, pain, and fear. The primitive mind running a muck and taunting me to react out of this fear and charge forward, saying things I would be sure to regret and did not mean in my heart or soul. No just the wound would be speaking in this moment and it was just the wound of this drastic blow to my heart that I was standing in the epicenter of.  The storm that blew around me keeping me from feeling my truth, my love. Shrouding me in a darkness that spoke of never leaving.  Monsters lurking, screaming out my fears of abandonment, never being able to hold on to love, not being lovable, not being worthy, not being enough and being to much. Telling me IF I had only done this or that then things would be different. The pain, the shame, the guilt and the feeling of being so naive to love again.

After all it was my stupid little girl who was hopeful and certain that this time things would be different. How could they not? I had never gone so deep with someone before. I had never revealed and explored the layers of my soul like I had in this love. I had never trusted anyone to surrender the way that I had with him.

Perhaps it was to much.

Or I was too much.

My eye’s skimming back across the word, “Goodbye.” Almost meditating on it and watching the sky fall outside the window.  My heart not beating fast at all, in fact feeling like there is no beating at all. Am I dead Lord? Where is my breathe? Where is my heart? I am left with neither, only the haunting of my crazed mind and the laughter from something deep in me, taunting that it knew all along that he would do this.

Only sheer seconds passed I am sure, but it felt like a thousand lifetimes flickered their emptiness before me without him.

Yes today, today the earth stands still.

And with it my heart and soul, withering in a corner unable to move, finding that there is no purpose to hold out for hope, for love, or for life. What reason should I move forward. I have no heart for it in his hands, my soul bound to his and now in darkness lost. There is no purpose to moving forward, no purpose to standing up and going on.

And yet, I must.

There in my chair, I look into the eye’s of the corpse that use to be full of love and life. Realizing that I must dress it up and spray perfume on it to hide its rot so that my children and all those I see will not see my pain, my suffering, my self-hatred for not being worthy and now being a sham too boot.

Authenticity. HA!

Love. HA!

Certainty. HA!

Blessing. HA!

These words that we bask in when things are going great, they do nothing for the broken. They get trampled by the pain, the rage, and the fear. They drown in the sludge of our ego’s as we hide.

Our world does not allow us to embrace our range of emotions. It is only socially acceptable to be “okay and fine” or happy. We hide from mourning. We hide from anger and even condemn it. So, what am I to do here on this day that ended the world as I knew it?


Make my list.

Control what I can.

Try to breathe a false breath.

Ignore the pain. That is what one is to do in this situation. Ignore it and carry on. Just as he suggested in his goodbye, it is time for me to walk my own path without him. I suppose I could go off and go on a few dates, have some crazy sexual encounters and try and connect to someone else by the use of my physical body. I could hide by grabbing a bottle or two of my favorite drink. I could crash on the couch and veg in front of Netflix for the next century. I could hide my tears and I could stand strong and act like none of this was happening, just throw myself into my work and my children and carry on.

Or…. I could jump in my car and go and scream in his face. Burst into tears and beg. I could let the wild woman out that loves deeply and passionately and will go to war for her love when he is not strong enough to see his heart from all the mist about him. I could make my case and then that for sure would change everything. Perhaps I would at very least feel better in having him stand there and be the persecutor to my victim in hopes that he would decide to rescue me.

But both of those are based in ego. This is not what my spirit desires and knows to be love or my strength.

No, instead it is time to PAUSE.

It is time to go within and allow myself to feel fully. To embrace the rawness of the wound and the beauty of the love that was shared. It is time, on this day that the earth stands still to take a cue from the divine.


Listen to the stillness.

Listen to the rhythm of this life.

Listen to the voice off in the distance that is speaking. That voice that sounds of truth and love eternal.

Here there is still hope. There is hope for this broken soul of today to heal and to move forward. It will not happen on my timeline, or on anyone’s.  It will not occur because of pushing through. It will not be touched by my masks, my over analyzation or my fear of the future.

No the only thing that will support it is my surrender.

So here you go kind folks, heartbreak is unavoidable. It chases us all down like ravenous wolves and makes us fear it. We dance around and try our hardest to avoid. We believe that by settling for something less than what our hearts and souls desire that we will be safe.

We hide our faces every day of our lives, we shut our hearts to the love and joy that crave to bless us. We speak words of logic in the face of that that we can never grasp. We follow the darkness as it masks itself as light, telling us that we do this or that and behave that we will avoid.

Avoid pain.

What this enemy does not share is that by being average and ordinary and hiding from our passion to bask in the blessings of God and all the beauty of this physical existence that comes with that, that we forfeit our desire NOT just for this life, but for God as well.

True we are not to worship things of this physical world in place of our worship for the Creator, but things of this world can be used as our worship of God. The simple act of kissing a lover can be an act of worship of God. It is the intent of the heart that is behind it that reveals the beauty.

If we choose to live in fear in our physical world then we show no trust of God. We may claim that we are believers, but do true believers fear this world? Or do they embrace it in desire and on fire with the backing of God?

God wants you to desire life.

God wants you to desire love.

God wants you to desire him.


Our fear of stepping forward in faith, is nothing more than blasphemy.

Ask yourself today if you have faith or fear ruling your life?

One is of God the other is the enemy.

“Stop Existing – Start Living.”

Why You Need To STOP Following Me…NOW!

I am writing this to invite you to STOP following me.

To unsubscribe from my newsletter, my Facebook and anywhere else that you may be checking in on my work.

YES, I am inviting you to say GOOD BYE Kendal.

Here is why.

2018 is a year of you could say transformation, but in truth it is a year of me saying YES to my AUTHENTIC SELF and my desire to be a crusader. My burning passion to speak the words that I have been holding back for my entire life that NOW want to be birthed from my lips and my finger tips. It is a year where you will see me make harsh but loving statements that may push you far past your comfort zones and even giving me the middle finger.

It is a year where you may say, “ OMG! Kendal went and got saved!” – LOL

And perhaps I did.

Or perhaps the possibility is that I am just choosing to allow 2018 to be the year that I STOP standing in the shadow of shame around my spiritual beliefs and desires and what I have come to learn from walking a path of CERTAINTY and opening to the blessings that are all around.

Perhaps, the possibility of 2018 is that my soul can no longer sit still and be quiet and give what society and many of my readers and followers “think” they need or want, where the focus is on sex and how best to stroke a clit or a cock.

Because ANYONE who has ever coached with me or worked with me in any capacity can bear testimony that my teachings are 98% based in CONSCIOUSNESS training NOT sexual skills. 


Here is the thing, no matter what title I give myself, I coach the same. I speak the same. I praise the same. I work on the same issues, the same blockages, the same fear based thinking and habits that DESTROY your relationships, your intimacy, your sex, your ability to experience abundance, peace, joy, connection, health and vitality. NONE of this is changing, because it is my calling to help restore consciousness and connection between humankind and the creator ( whatever name you use). The principles and soul technology that I coach on remain the same. It has always been and always will be at the core of what I do and how I live my own life. 

The difference and the REASON you need to STOP FOLLOWING me now, is because I am going to be a base ball bat.

I am NOT going to apologize for stating things the way I know them.

I am NOT going to hold back any longer.

I am NOT going to cower in the ego based fear of how you may receive me or not.

I am NOT going to allow the programs that many of us subscribe too, conquer me another day around how I should look, act, speak, teach,  or coach.

So here is the thing…

IF YOU CHOOSE, to keep following me, you may grow even more discontent with your life and what you have CHOSEN to SETTLE for.

You may get very mad at my emails, my video’s, my conscious coffee’s, my articles, courses, workshops and talks.

You may start to ask yourself tough questions, such as, Why am I not happy?” – ” Why do I never feel truly connected, seen or loved?” – ” What am I really searching for?” – ” Why does my life feel like a chore?” and “Is this really all there is?”

You may start to observe things from a deeper state of calm, where the mind chatter starts to be put to bay.

You may start to truly feel life and yourself.

You may discover an orgasmic life, where you cannot help but smile from the joy coming from deep within.

You may start loving yourself.  Forgive yourself and others.

You may awaken your compassionate heart.

You may actually start seeing the MAGIC in your daily life and OMG! You may actually EXPECT miracles to occur on a regular basis.

You may start living  instead of just existing.

You may awaken one morning and say, ” It is TIME. Time for a change. Time to open. Time to love again. Time to STOP FEARING.” 

Yes, you may do these things, but they will come with the price of having your ego pushed around. Your stubborn thinking patterns rearranged and the mental masturbation practices that you have grown so comfortable with as your truth and logic stripped down to what they really are: ILLUSION.

You see, I am trying to SAVE YOU the heartache of following me any longer. Why fill the space in your email, or on this screen with words that will cause you to QUESTION your reality. Your Thinking. Your heart. Your trust in something greater than yourself.

Why follow someone who believes so strongly in this mission, ” Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Why continue to follow someone who BELIEVES YOU, yes you, deserve GREATNESS.

That is  your natural state of being and that God desires nothing more than to grant it to you.


You must say GOODBYE.

Goodbye to ego.

Good bye to fear.

Goodbye to doubt.

Goodbye to those things that hold you back.

Goodbye to your disbelief that God wants you to be HAPPY and have what you desire most.

And that maybe your DESIRE,  to JUST be AVERAGE and just get through the next day.

So in that case you may need to say goodbye Kendal….

Because, I want to THRIVE!

I want to call down my blessings. And every day, I am granted the beauty of magical experiences, beautiful people and opportunities. Many reasons to smile. And even more reasons to share my joy. My faith, my life work, my heart and my soul. 

Will you stay or will you go?

I cannot say.

You have free will.

Choose NOW. Because NOW is all you have, all you will ever have. Do not build your life of fear of tomorrow, but on the blessing of TODAY.

STOP Existing – START Living, This coaching is for Grown A*s Believers.

If that is honor… F*ck It!

Weep for yourself, my man,
You’ll never be what is in your heart
Weep little lion man,
You’re not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and rake yourself,
Take all the courage you have left
Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn’t I, my dear?
– Little Lion Man, Mumford and Sons

This one is for the ladies in the house!

Isn’t love just glorious? We find someone that we just seem to click with and something says, YES.  Next thing we know we have invested not just moments of our lives with this someone but we have also given away pieces of ourselves. We have modified ourselves  to make sure that this one does not  get away. Yet something inside of us is leery and uncertain. We are hopeful but full of fear at the same time. It is like we just know that this one too will leave us.
Months go by and sometimes years, we start to get comfortable and the fear of the loss fades for the most part only popping up in moments when we catch him looking at another woman or watching porn, when he starts to pay more attention to his facebook then to what we have to share about our day.  Our fear shows its face when we find ourselves questioning if he still loves us or if we are pretty any more?  Yes here, here we meet our fear of loss. Here we stand face to face with it.  We become yet again certain that this one too will someday break our hearts. Even though he started out so strong, so full of love and desire for us and with a fierce passion and connection that was beyond measure, we just know.  His promises that he would never leave, that he wants to do whatever he can to make us happy and he feels like he does not deserve us only tear away at our core, because we know the truth.

Oh those sweet words.

They kill the heart with each breath of sharing. They have us trapped on the end of a hook that we cannot pull out of our hearts and that we desire so badly to believe.
“I think your the one.”
” I have never loved like this.”
“I love you fiercely and with every part of me.”
” I want to watch you sleep for the rest our lives.”
” I love you so much, there is nothing I would not do for you.”

Yes those words.

All of us have heard them, probably a few times over.  Inevitably though, they are followed somewhere down the path with:
” I need space.”
“I won’t leave you, but I fully understand if you want to break up.”
” I love you enough to let you go.”
and my all time favorite….

” I just want you to be happy.”

OMFG!!! are you sh*ting me right now? Yes I love you enough to let you go.

I recall a few times that men have told me that, matter a fact ALL the men that I have ever opened my heart to from my father, to the boy I loved and lost my virginity too, to the man that holds my heart today and can crush me without notice, and even those that I have thought I trusted fully and loved deeply but knew that they only could have pieces of me.  EVERY man, that I have become close too in m y 41 years of life has stated at some point these words.
On the front side these words feel and look beautiful. After all the man is honoring you and your wishes. He only wants you happy and even if that costs him his happiness then he is willing to suffer.  It will most likely be a most agonizing pain and he may never recover, but as long as you are happy, then the price is not to high to bare.

How sweet.

When we dig a little deeper into these words what I have discovered is that on the face of it, these men truly do believe and desire for our happiness and are buying into their own weakness as being a strength and an act of love.  It is sad that our society has been unbelievably successful at raising multiple generations of men out there that believe this bullsh*t.  And we women just keep embracing it and saying, ” yeah, he really loves me, so much he would give me up and suffer the rest of his days, just so I could be happy.”

This is CRAZY!

He would give you up?

And suffer so you can be happy?

F*ck NO! Ladies and gentlemen who dare read this, lord I hope a few do dare, every time a man says these words to a woman he is calling out to her worst nightmare, her worst fear and that is, ” I am not worth your love.”  Perhaps we are all a bunch of silly school girls caught up in our favorite love story by wanting a knight in shinning armor to come whisk us off our feet, but here is the thing, we don’t really want saved. We live in a time where we women are powerful in our masculine and we can earn the big bucks, we can buy the house and the car, we can raise the kids on our own. Shit we can even have great sexual climaxes with ourselves. Sex is more open these days. We can have as many partners as we desire and we can explore all aspects of ourselves. We most certainly do NOT need the knight to come rescue us, but it would be nice to find a man who did not turn into a scared little boy and hide when shit got hard and just let us go so easily.

This is not a statement of strength men, this is a statement of LAZINESS!

Our society has raised lazy in love, lazy in sex, lazy in connection men.  The men of today only know how to work hard for a degree and a work promotion or how to get the abs they want, if that. They do not nor do many of them have the desire to do the work and stand in the flames of authentic relating with a woman. They feel that they cannot fight for her because that may appear as though they are asserting their masculine power over her in some way and trying to force her to do something she does not want, they feel that if they fight that they will harm the feminine.

And in turn what they are doing is destroying the feminine heart and our trust in the masculine.

To fight for your lady love, does not mean that you don’t take her no for a no. It means that you wake the F*ck UP and start paying attention before things get to the goodbye. It means that you be her knight every day, by slowing down in the bedroom and making love to her instead of asking for the quickie which only says, ” Come here honey, let me use you as a masturbation toy, your physical body and emotions don’t mean enough to me to take the time.”
It means that you take the time to court her and date her even if you just celebrated your 40th anniversary, because you  never have her, you always need to earn her.  It means that you take care of yourself, of your health and your well being because you want to live a long time to be with her. It means that you stop and listen to her, that you inquire and show that you care what is happening in her day. It means that when the goodbye comes that you don’t just sluff it off and say, “I will do whatever you want as long as you are happy,” but instead ask how  can  I capture her heart again?

” A woman does not want to be an object of duty, she wants to be desired.“- John Eldredge, Journey of Desire

We have come to a point in time where men have forgotten how to be men. They have forgotten how to court, how to peruse, and how to desire and love their women.  We women have caused much of this with our desires to be equal and to prove ourselves to the world and to our selves. Our new found feminist superhero forms have us conquering everything like a man but never being conquered through desire or in the bedroom. Here  we are still women with energetic cocks flaunting all over the place and keeping ourselves supposedly safe in our heads where our grand fortresses cannot be overtaken. We control our relationships and we control our sex. Thus we control our lack of true orgasm and we suffer the consequences by raising a male population that believes that they are being mature and good honoring men by avoiding their desire. By not courting and instead suggesting , “Let’s go dutch,” while they let the lady grab the door and carry all the groceries.
“If you are with a man you don’t trust, it is only because you prefer unsurrendered love to surrendering wide open in total trust. It feels safe. You are afraid to let go of control–part of you doesn’t trust love’s command–so you have chosen a man who doesn’t demand your surrender with his depth of integrity. If you did trust the command of love, you would only settle for a deep man capable of opening you more deeply than you could instruct him.” — David Deida, Way of the Superior Man
The issue here is not over doors and groceries, physical strength or even courtesy, no the issue is that men are NOT LEADING. Men are not COURTING. Men are not PERSUING.
Men are HOWEVER going against their true nature and living outside of their integrity, everyday. They are doing this with their woman and they are doing this all areas of life.

“The way you penetrate your woman, is the way you penetrate life.” – David Deida

Men in today’s world are scared to lead and have no concept of what leading looks like especially when it comes to intimate relationship.  So they screw up left and right by being overly direct or skittish.  They have no middle ground where they lead.  Today many men suffer, yes this they do, they suffer from a lack of desire,  a lack of leadership, a lack of manhood. Today men do things in hopes that it will be honoring and respectful, show the women how they feel, but in turn they only end up hurting the woman, the relationship and loosing the girl.
They will loose her every time too, until they awaken to their truth.
Women must stop accepting men at this level and we must STOP encouraging it by continuing with this superchick mentality of , ” I got this!” Men must on the other hand learn to go to their deepest levels of self and feel into themselves. They must feel their  desire, they must feel their deep love, they must feel their fear and breathe into it, not past it but into it.  It is through the fear, the deep love and the desire that their purpose is and it is NOT until they embrace their purpose as a man that they can keep the girl.
A woman WILL NEVER respect a man who does not have purpose. She will NEVER trust a man who cannot feel himself fully and her fully, and she WILL NEVER surrender to a man who cannot LEAD.

” I love you enough to let you go.” Is a statement of a broken masculine.

Ladies, embrace your men with love and wild abandon. Do this through demanding him to stand in his leadership role.  STOP feeling like he is trying to conquer you with control and start seeing how his desire is your surrender.  If you love your man, TEST YOUR MAN.  Without your tests and fires he will never embrace his heart. Until he embraces his heart he will remain lost. Here is where the feminine leads the masculine. We lead him into his heart by opening our own.

In order to do this though….

We women must first regain our connection to our hearts and pussies and become the divine feminine that God created us to be.  We women have forgotten our hearts as well and are mad at the masculine for not feeling us, when we ourselves have forgotten our hearts desire and are fearful of receive the blessings that lye there.

The first step to true honoring is this…



And F*ck this false version of honor!


Stop Existing & Start Living

Often I use the words. “Orgasmic Living,” and many people question what I mean by this or assume that I am only speaking of intimate matters when in fact what I am saying is that life can be like an orgasm. It is this sensation of orgasm that we find ourselves searching for in all that we do.

We might call it by many other names such as desire, hunger, passion, purpose, love and even adrenaline.  What we are saying in all of these is that we are craving ORGASM.

I love this time of the year for this very fact.

As a new year rolls around, we humans naturally crave change and the adventure and hope that it brings with it. We openly state our desires because they are masked under the “safety” of resolutions and intentions. Yet, it truly does not matter what we label something, the truth is still the same. We are DESIRING something and at the start of a fresh year we are less fearful to ASK for it. We are less fearful to SEEK it out. We are less fearful to KNOCK on doors of opportunity and to open ourselves to possibilities.

However, as the weeks and months go by,  we find ourselves in doubt.

We find ourselves questioning if the life and desires that we claimed we wanted at the birthing of the new year are even out there and we begin to SETTLE for something LESS.

We sit back night after night, watching our Netflix and the news, playing games on Facebook and scrolling through our feed, wishing that we knew what to do and how to achieve something MORE. In the back of our minds a small voice whispers that it is possible, but the world around us is screaming that it is absurd to want anything other than what we already have. After all, who are we any way?

So we continue on with our lifeless life and allow the beauty of what could be, to be stripped away from our souls yet another year.

Living for the weekends.

Living for the holidays.

Living for that 2 weeks of vacation.

Living for the 5 o’clock hour where we can dart off to our local little watering hole and sit with others who are in the same constricting shoes of this life.

This is NOT Orgasmic Living!

This sure the effing is NOT!

Just writing these words makes my heart hurt like it is caught in chains of eternal torment with satan himself spitting in my face and laughing at the misery. Yet there you have it. There is what it truly is. It is HELL.

We have grown so comfortable to reside here in hell.  We actually have brainwashed ourselves to BELIEVE that this is what living is. We have come to terms with the supposed facts of this delusional state of existing and many of us have no clue how to live outside of this illusion.

So we sign another year long lease and get comfortable in our suffering.

It does not have to be this way though. At any given moment in time we have the ability and choice to WAKE THE F*CK UP! and choose differently. God gave us free will so that we could overcome the evils of this land. The only thing asked of us is to BECOME CONSCIOUS. This is the only step needed to turn the corner to a new life and RECEIVE all the blessings that you crave.

YES! all you have to do to live in orgasm every day and in every moment is to become conscious and choose differently.

You must choose the higher ground which is the ground of not accepting a small life. Not accepting AVERAGE and ORDINARY. Not accepting what the evils of the world would have you believe is living.

You were born for GREATNESS.

You were born for a PURPOSE.

You were born to have DESIRE.

Your were born to ASK.

You were born to SEEK.

You were born to KNOCK.


But there is ONE caveat to this,  you must BELIEVE it.

All the desire and want in the world without belief that you can have it, deserve it and that it is your birth right to CLAIM THIS LIFE you were meant for will only lead to the pain of not getting it.

You cannot just say that you believe it either. You must take action, hold strong when times get dim, surrender deeper into your FAITH when you find yourself in the arms of fear. You must shine a bright light on the enemy of doubt and command it to walk away from your presence. You must turn yourself over to the process of receiving, because anytime we ask WE ARE HEARD, and the answers will bring forth great changes in our lives.

Asking God to grant our desires is the surrender that God desires from us. It is our humbleness to say, ” I cannot achieve this on my own, I need your hand to move this mountain, “ that captures the eye of the divine and gets the ball moving. DOUBT in it happening or if we have been heard only muffles the request and makes the journey of receiving more difficult.

The doorway to our FREEDOM is in our LETTING GO.

Once we let go, we fully surrender and receive. In this state of knowing we become the co-creators of our lives and the benefactors of the blessings that we never knew existed.


And fall into the flow of your living through heavens eyes.

This does not mean to just let life take you. NO! Those who just let life take them are guilty of denying their desires and not asking.

Letting go, is surrender to your desires through the hands of God.

STOP buying into the BULLSHIT of the societal norm.

STOP allowing someone else’s beliefs to be your own.

STOP trying to control the outcome of every aspect ( You have no ability to see your life from heavens eyes)

STOP resisting that inner calling and voice.

STOP doubting God.


START Living a life of freedom.

START being in who you really are.

START looking for the miracles ( they are everywhere)

START living in gratitude.

START finding a reason to smile.

START loving who you are.

START embracing your power as a co-creator.

START letting go in faith.

Make 2018 a year of you being different. Make 2018 a year where you not just talk about living the life that you desire, but actually open yourself to receiving it. Just the asking for it makes the whole world rearrange itself JUST FOR YOU. So don’t waist the energy of God by doubting.

You are worthy of the blessing!


90 Days of No Orgasm- Say What?

“My body is tense and tight as are my emotions and heart. I feel little love, appreciation or compassion let alone toleration. Or perhaps that is all I feel. I am tolerating life. I am tolerating work. I am tolerating my family.  There is no feeling of interconnectedness, no desire washing through me.  I feel lost, alone, depressed without reason, fatigued and sore. I feel loveless and angry. I feel an ever growing panic inside of my soul. As if my life is being stolen and for what?

The smile on my face and my light-hearted attitude that everyone sees is far from my internal reality where it’s more like being trapped in the swamps of some limbo land of the forgotten. I am unseen, unheard and feeling unworthy. Unworthy of being seen, heard, loved, sexed properly, or even cuddled and nurtured. Sure, I can reach out to my children or girlfriends for emotional support and snuggles, but this is not what my soul craves to keep itself alive. No, my soul craves to be held safe in the arms of the masculine. To be loved, adored, cherished and ravished to the marrow in my bones and through every last cell of my physical being. My soul craves with ever expanding fear to be penetrated mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally by the masculine. It needs to weep and laugh while singing its orgasmic rapture before my lover. It needs to feel safe while opening into the darkest corners of vulnerability. It needs to feed like a ravenous vampire on the love that can be expressed and felt during gourmet sexing. It needs to be felt with every tilt and pulse of my pelvis as I wrap my legs around my lover and pull him deeper where he has no choice but to surrender and bow at my alter. Where he can no longer deny my passion, my thirst for him and for life. My soul needs to burn. It needs to be ignited and seen. It needs to be felt and embraced in return.

Alas, this is not the case. Instead my soul is dying. It is dim and lifeless. It lives in its own shadow of a time since gone. Instead I feel numbness that is not numb but painful. My body is over ridden with what feels like a plague. I question existence, purpose, and reason. I question my worth. Looking inward I see a woman who is lost and feels like life has been stripped away, yet there is still a glimmer of hope. This glimmer is hungry, it wants so badly to be strong and to push forward. It wants to feel again, to live again, to heal and most of all it wants to breathe.


90 days is a short time line. You can do anything for 90 days, right?

90 days is a extremely long time as well. It can change your whole chemical, molecular being. It can retrain your thoughts and it can open you up to the vastness that life has to offer, or it can shut you down and make you question life.

90 days can heal you.

90 days can torture you.

It only takes 90 days to turn a turned on woman into a woman who is under-fucked, bitter, numb and on the verge of hysteria. How do I know this? Because I am that woman.  I am that turned on woman in the spot light, leading others to a turned on state of being and I am also that under-fucked woman crying out from the shadows of the dungeon of hysteria begging for mercy. That mercy being orgasm.

Orgasm use to come to me so easily. I could easily have 20+ orgasms in one love making session. I would experience clitoral, G-spot, cervical, female ejaculation and emotional orgasms just to name a few. They would course through my veins and roll through my body with ease, feeding me. Leaving me fulfilled and with so much to give to the people and world around me. I felt youthful, alive, confident, connected, passionate, full of desire and certainty. I could move through obstacles with faith and love. “


90 days of no orgasm sends you in another direction though.

29 things that 90 days of No Orgasm Gets You- My Personal Observation

  • Irregular periods
  • Heavier menstrual flow with more pain and moodiness
  • A constant feeling of female blue balls- aching in my pelvis
  • Less fluid stride in my walking
  • Decreased confidence
  • Depressed
  • Anxious
  • Headaches and body pain
  • Decreased immune system- keep getting sick, always feel sick and cannot get well quickly
  • Fatigue
  • Increased hunger
  • Weight gain
  • My once clear skin now has numerous acne breakouts
  • Feeling of hopelessness
  • Zero desire for anything
  • A short fuse – limited patience/toleration and understanding
  • Once clear head now has mental chatter
  • Breast tenderness
  • Zero libido
  • Emotional out bursts
  • Crying almost daily
  • Anger that creeps into rage
  • Fear to move forward with things
  • Lumps and tender spots on or around my pussy
  • Vaginal dryness
  • Random Yeast infections
  • Sensitive vaginal skin that tears easily
  • Pain during and after any sexual play
  • A feeling of disconnectedness to everything including my children, family, lover and friends. As well as G-d.



This may seem crazy to many who read this. How can all of that happen to a woman just from not having orgasm in her life?

But it does.


Science has been proving for a long time that orgasm is a vital nutrient to the feminine. It helps keep us women stabilized, positive and connected. In my practice I work with many women who have not had an orgasm for years, possibly even a life time. I also work with women who have become addicted to clitoral orgasms but believe or have not had anything deeper than this. Keeping them in a quick fix mode of orgasm which is often the case in female masturbation practices or even in our sexing.


Ancient spiritual based practices, dating back 7,000+ years spoke and taught on how important orgasm, real orgasm not just climax was to the feminine. It goes far past our physical well being and even our psychological well being. Orgasm is the well spring of creation and connection to the divine. To God. When we women do not have true orgasm in our lives and a space to surrender to our lover and our orgasm then we turn off to life. We disconnect from our partner, from our world and from ourselves. We move from the embodiment of self and radiance to living in our heads and just “dealing” with this thing called life. Life becomes about the duty instead of the living.


Unfortunately, we live in a world of under-fucked women. I say under-fucked not to sound crude and that women “should be” fucked, but to make the point that women do need to be held in a space for a long enough time frame with a safe masculine that can stand in her fires, in her tears and in her orgasm. This masculine can not be forced on her. He must earn her. Earn her trust. Her heart and her orgasm. This is not a space that many men are familiar with nor have they been taught about in todays society. However, when the chosen masculine is there holding this space then the woman can release into the greatest depths of surrender with herself and with him, thus creating the feeling that he has fucked her wide open to the universe. It is in this space that the feminine gets filled with love and with orgasm to her core. All other concepts of orgasm are nothing more than illusions and hoaxes.


Clitoral orgasm is a masculine orgasm. It is sharp, quick and what I call fast food. It feels good for the moment but that is all it gives you a moment and you find yourself hungry and feeling empty shortly thereafter. It also trains the body and mind to accept less than what is possible. Once we believe that this is all that orgasm is then many never think to venture further down the path to find true fulfillment.

But this is us settling for something that will never be anything more.


In todays society and way of thinking we claim to desire so much yet few are willing to go out and make their desires a reality. We settle for the lessor car because it is economical, the lessor house because the school district is what we think is better, the lessor relationship because it is better then no relationship and he/she is nice. We settle for the lessor orgasm because we don’t know that there is anything better and we don’t have the time to get it. So, we settle.


I could easily be writing this about masculine orgasm as well, however I am not. Focusing on the feminine because this topic is near and dear to my heart and my pussy. The above share is my truth about a time that I went longer than 90 days without orgasm. I had to learn how to surrender to myself in other ways to escape the lack of orgasm that I had in my sexing. I had to rediscover myself and my passion in other areas to ignite my orgasm again so that I could have it. I had to lean into my pain and fear and face them with love for self and life. I had to go back to the roots of my desires and start there. FRESH.


This is the path that every woman who is without true orgasm must take. The answer to connecting to an orgasmic life is to learn how to surrender to life. To embody yourself and to discover your core desires.


I share this musing with you in hopes that you will do just these three things and give yourself permission to live the orgasmic, turned-on life that you deserve.

3 Keys to Opening Up to Your Orgasm

  • Daily practice pussy communication. This is a foundational practice to reconnect you to your pussy. If you are living in your head then you are not embodying yourself. If you do not get back into your body then you will have limited to no sensation and you are blocking yourself from your divine feminine as well. Meaning that you have muted your intuition. Intuition is an art of blending voice of spirit with feelings and physical sensations of the body. By focusing on communication with your pussy on a daily basis you will tap back into your truth and feel more led by your core. Things will start to work out in your favor more and you will also start hearing your voice of desire again. To do this exercise all you need is a quiet space and your hands. Take your left hand and place it on your heart, your right hand and place it on your pussy. Now just breathe deep into your stomach, pulling the breath down as far as you can to allow your tummy to expand. Hold the breath for a moment and inquire with your pussy, “What message do you have for me?” From here move into a dialogue with your pussy as you focus on your breathing and feel for the sensations that she has to share with you. Ask her questions such as, “How do you feel about this relationship? – This job? – This move?” etc. Then listen to the sensations in your body. Your body’s wisdom is your soul speaking to you about what is best for your highest and greatest good.
  • Vulva Love Practice. Set aside time each day or at very lest 3 times a week to do this goddess practice. Set up a space that is pretty to all your senses. If possible, do this practice outside a few times with the sun shining down on your pussy. Create a sacred space with smells, music and different textures that you enjoy and find relaxing. Allow yourself to relax into this space as you gently massage your vulva with your favorite oil (I suggest unscented coconut oil). Make slow strokes and really allow yourself to feel all the sensations of your fingers running across your pubis mound and vaginal lips. Massage and stroke for feelings of pleasure NOT orgasm or climax.  Notice how good it feels to just feel the soft, conscious touch.  Next stroke with the intent of love and appreciation. With each stroke say out loud or internal words of love and appreciation to your pussy. Speak of her beauty. Her ability to receive pleasure and give pleasure. Her ability to manifest life. Speak of her warmth, her velvety softness. Remember to say thank you to your pussy for all that she has given you and that you value her guidance in your life.
  • Pussify Your Life. In this exercise you only need to ask your pussy for her feelings about something. This is a beautiful practice to focus us women on embodiment to self, something that many of us have lost in our modern world. To start and give you a feel for this practice, take on your under-ware and bra drawers. Take each pair of panties out and one by one hold them up to your pussy. Now ask, “Do you like this pair of panties?” Then feel what sensations come up in your body. Notice your emotions around each garment. If you have anything other than a strong F-ck YES! To the garment then toss it without question into a get rid of pile. Do this with all your panties and then move to your bra’s. If you want to really pussify your world, move to your closet and clean it with the guidance of your pussy instead of your logical brain. The result is that you will find yourself with ONLY garment that make you feel good. You will clear out all the things that you thought you needed for some logical reason or have been holding onto to be smart or out of fear of not replacing it. When you do this, you will now not only be honoring yourself and your emotions, you find that you are more turned on to life and feeling better about what you look like as well.

You are a divine, beautiful woman who deserves orgasm in her life.

For you to have all the orgasm that you want, sexually and generally in life, you MUST own your ORGASM and open to fully receiving the blessings that the universe and your pussy have for you.

This is a decision though.


Do you want a Turned- On Life?

Do you desire a life full of rapture and blessing?

Do you crave a fairytale relationship?

Do you desire gourmet sex?


Then choose YOU!

Choose Orgasm.

Choose to EMBODY YOU.



#1 Key to the Life You Desire to Live.

The last few months I have spent a great amount of time looking at my life. I have examined and prayed. I have cried out in joy and suffering.  I have rejoiced and I have damned.  However through it all I have held gratitude at my core.

It has taken me many a folly to truly understand that gratitude is the one true key to a life full of blessing.

Many years ago I came to realize that our callings, our purpose you might say are buried within our wounds. Those things in life that have caused us so much pain have also served to bring forth, if we allow ourselves to see and feel it, our greatest purpose. It is within these times of great mourning that we discover who we really are and how great the divine is. It is in these supposed weak moments in our lives where we feel perhaps like we have been cast into the shadows and are unwanted and undeserving that we can discover the greatest of love. It is here through the act of self- forgiveness and love that we meet our maker within ourselves.

When we practice the “F” word – FORGIVENESS, we open ourselves up to the miracle of love.  Forgiveness is seated with gratitude, and in our ability to find gratitude for even the most evil of ills that our lives might be blessed with we discover our nature. We discover that which can either tear us apart or make us whole.

No two humans will ever suffer the same. We may walk in similar shoes of pain but we will never suffer the same. Therefore it is up to no one to cast judgement on another for how they choose to process through anything, whether it be the loss of a job, a relationship, a child, a rape or something else. But one thing is for certain, in these times of great  depression and uncertainty we still have the ability to lean into love. Many of us choose, at least for a time frame to lean into victim-hood and hate. We choose to be conquered by these miseries and to cast an evilness out of ourselves to show our pain. Feeling that there is no love inside of us to attach to, that we had it coming or are not worthy of anything more than suffering we cower to the fear of the chaos that our lives have been  thrown into and we lean into our egos. We swear off forgiveness, we turn away from love and we most certainly find no gratitude for the misery that we are sitting in.

This is a natural part of the process of recovering and healing.  However shit  happens to all of us. There is no one on this planet that will not suffer, and suffer greatly at some point in their existence here on earth. The one thing that we can control is how long we choose to sit in our pain and allow it to run our lives. The next thing that we have control over is how we choose to stand in it. We CAN make the conscious choice to find forgiveness and love or to remain caught in the grasp of hatred and suffering.

Our hatred may  seem to make us strong, but it is a false strength. One that is only eating off of our own love and once it succeeds at killing our connection and joy it will parish like ash in a rain storm.

So why put your hope in something that does not serve you but only wishes to control you?

I write this article the day after Thanksgiving and my heart bears with it much pain from recent months and the years that have past.  I grieve the loss of moments with my children, the loss of time with my mother who suffers from dementia, I grieve the loss of a love that opened me so wide and the loss of children I will never know. I feel the pain in my womb from a rape by a stranger of many years back and the fear that rolled through me when my lover became a monster and forced himself upon me. I feel the hatred toward my parents for ignoring my cries to be loved and seen, approved of and accepted. I feel the disappointment of loosing a house in foreclosure and having to rob my child’s piggy bank for change to buy milk. I feel the frustration and bitterness of looking a partner in the eye as they drank themselves into oblivion and said I was making it up. I feel the sorrow of having to put a beloved cat down. I feel the terror of breaking a heart that does not deserve to be broken. I feel the worry and fear of potentially loosing a child right in front of my eyes….

I feel all of this pain and more.

And yet I choose LOVE.



I do not wake with thoughts of all of these things. No, instead I wake and before my feet hit the ground I call out a prayer to God from my heart center in gratitude for waking. I call out a prayer of gratitude for having slept and woke and have all my children do the same. I am thankful in the morning hours for the day that is set out before me filled with hope and opportunity. I set my feet on the floor with a knowing that it is up to me as to how my day goes.  Things may test my faith, they may test my courage and love, but ultimately it is still my decision to make as to how my days goes.

Do you know what is said about desire?

It is said that those things that you desire, desire you as well.

The reason we have the desires that we have is because our desires are linked to our path, our purpose and they are waiting for us to reach them.

If we are to have the lives that we deserve and desire, then we must be willing to reach outside of our comfort zones of hatred and fear and lean into the territory of unconditional love, forgiveness and gratitude. We must do what is foreign to us and we must trust in the creator that our highest and greatest good is where we are headed. That anything that might feel as if it is an obstacle to this is actually just a guidance system that is moving us toward our truth.  This truth is not that of the victim, it is that of the “blessed.”

We will be pushed by any and all means until we open to our  soul vision. This vision is an alignment with our purpose. The divine vision that God has for each of our lives is right before us, yet we cannot see it and we fight it. We cover our eyes in fear to it. We hide in normalcy and we become complacent and numb to the callings of our spirit. The nudges that push on us to be more. Do more. Serve more. Radiate more.

Yet all we have to do is LET GO!

The glory of the creator is right there, waiting to wash us in blessings, love and all our desires if we would just LET GO.

We must let go of the belief that we need to control.

We must let go of the belief that surrender is weakness.

We must let go of our pain and suffering.

This is how we become the alchemist of our lives. 

And the first step to letting go….


Make today a day of GRATITUDE and SURRENDER.

Make today GREAT.

Take the first step into the rest of your divine life.