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NEVER HAVE I EVER BEEN EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN A MAN…

NEVER HAVE I EVER BEEN EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN A MAN…
Until now.
And this is the sad reality of so many relationships, marriages even of today and perhaps of all time.
We want for connection, unconditional love, trust, respect and union of our hearts, minds and souls but when we get down to brass taxes on relationships and our commitment to our said primary partners it is often revealed that the primary is not the primary. The person that we refer to as our primary partner or significant other, our lifemate, or our soulmate typically gets the short end of the stick with our emotional investment.
We give them time,
time that we designate for the relationship such as “date nights” or dinner. We may attend church or concerts with them, we may go to social functions or sit and watch TV.
We give them sex,
mainly because this is what is believed to make primary or significant other just that. Our sex is the piece that no one else gets (unless we are in an open relationship or we are having an affair). And so we rub our bodies together and we give it up. Because that is what we are to do to show our relationship commitment.
We give them support,
typically this is financial support from one partner and house/family/orderly support from the other. However in today’s times most relationships both contribute to finances and even though both try to support the labors of child rearing and chores, one partner will feel as though they carry more of the load then the other.
We give idle conversation and listening.
Simply meaning that we pretend to listen and share.
We talk to our partners about surface level items or responsibilities and we step away from the deeper conversations. The one’s where we are forced to inquire about who we are as a couple and what our long term visions are or what our current challenges are.
And so we have the average and ordinary union of today.
Where emotional investment is at a low, however our understanding of relationship is that it is more about commerce than love and connection. We live in a free trade society where we no longer sell off our daughters and sons to create peace between nations or for the survival of family but instead we barter our own flesh for the best opportunities and then wonder why we are not happy with our outcomes.
We trade our emotional happiness for the richest, hottest, youngest, strongest version of a partner, brainwashing ourselves that we are deeper than this and that we truly love them. However the truth is quickly revealed when we run into any amount of conflict in life.
When this happens we see where our emotional investments really lay and often we discover them with our children, our work, our bank accounts, and even our friends. We will make up excuses and we will point fingers. The blame game will quickly occur and with it couples will turn away from each other. They will apply focus to everything that their partner has ever done wrong, to the mistakes and how they have never felt loved or supported by them. They will make painful statements about how the sex always sucked, they were just doing it out of duty, how they have not been attracked to their mate forever and they will slaughter their partner without hesitation.
All the while saying, “If they really loved me…”
But here is the thing, long before we ever get to this conflict state you can be witness to exactly where one’s emotional investments are.
It’s in the little things.
*Do you make your primary relationship primary every day?
*Do you opt for friends over your partner?
*Do you make your partner feel safe?
*Do you consciously listen and share?
*Do you inquire about your partner’s life outside of you?
*Do you make them feel supported in the little things or when they are not feeling well or feeling stressed?
*Do you laugh together frequently?
*Do you share common goals/dreams/morals/values?
*Can you authentically say that you are the most vulnerable with your partner outside of anyone else?
These questions and many more are insights into a couples bond.
And emotional investment is all about the emotional bond that you consciously are creating.
This bond is not created based on what someone can offer us in finances, prestige or even in how they look or how smart they are, it is based in our heart centers and the heart and soul alignment that we have to someone. It is then supported by the coming together as friends not just lovers. It is enhanced and a foundation is created through the common grounds of united dreams/values/morals/beliefs and goals on all levels of life not just one or two.
And from this space the emotional investment is maintained from both individuals desire to go deeper with their primary partner then any other relationship they have. Both partners must desire to surrender without emotional armour and in total trust and vulnerability to each other.
Otherwise, the relationship will remain surface level and will never be able to solidify trust, commitment and unconditional love.
 
An emotionally invested couple moves together as one unit in life on all fronts, making very aware that they are the center point of gravity for each other and it is their alignment from their cores that does just this.
How does your love rate?
What are some of the areas that you feel challenged in with relationship and how can you best lean into your partner today?
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*S Believers”
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WHEN SOMEONE WANTS YOU TO BE SOMETHING THEY REFUSE TO SEE WHO YOU ARE…

WHEN SOMEONE WANTS YOU TO BE SOMETHING THEY REFUSE TO SEE WHO YOU ARE…

Over and over again I am reminded of just how blind we humans can be in our relationships.

And then we wonder why people shut down, walk away or get upset with us.

But it is often because we are blinded by our own desires and beliefs of who people are and how we want them or expect them to show up in relationship with us that creates this disharmony.

Recently I have been blessed with the opportunity to witness numerous people in my life sharing with me how they perceive me. Who they think I am, how they think I should react or expect me to react, what they believe my desires are in life, work, and even in my intimate relationships and more.

And it is interesting and saddening to witness these people do just this because I sit here realizing that the reality is that no matter how much I show up differently then what they believe,

no matter how much I communicate who I am RIGHT NOW, or what my desires are, what my boundaries are that they simply cannot hear me and actually believe often that it is not them but me with the communication issues.

Now granted,

I have served my fair share in the land of not communicating well.

I have had my issues with boundaries and stating what I am a F-ck Yes too and what I am a F-ck No too,

and I have moments in my current as well where I drag my feet and try to read between the lines or make the best decision that will cause the least amount of hurt feelings, be the best for someone else and put myself on the back burner….

(I am human and all and get caught in my own crap. Shhhhhh…. I get it…. I know better. I do.)

But at the end of the day,

I have looked my shadow self in the eye many a time,

I have felt into my ego and called it out of the darkness and see it for what it is more frequently then not,

and when it comes to speaking up and out on things,

well often I don’t give two sh*ts and just state it as it is.

So in this understanding of the timid young woman that was the wall flower just a little over  decade ago who would get trampled by many, to the woman that I am today that has a deep understanding that I am only responsible for my emotions, thoughts and actions and I cannot make anyone else happy,

I find myself in awe of so many people in my life who simply refuse to see who I am.

Old lovers, spouses, friends, children and even clients have recently revealed how they are stuck in an older version of me.

To the point that they REFUSE to see or allow any sort of change in my pattern, even when it is so vastly different right in their face.

But WHY IS THAT?

Why do we humans refuse to allow others to change?

Why do we ignore who someone is, trying to become or even acting on being in any area of their life?

The answer in my opinion is pretty f-cking simple…..

BECAUSE IT DOES NOT SERVE OUR BEST INTEREST IN OUR MIND OR DOES NOT GRANT US WHAT WE WANT FROM SAID INDIVIDUAL.

If our drinking buddy who has been our wing man for the last decade suddenly sobers up and gets married,

then where does that leave us?

In our life and choices?

If they start to make changes and different choices that do not support what we are wanting then no matter how happy we may be for them, we find ourselves feeling lost and lonely suddenly.

And the reason is that we are looking for some form of our happiness, our fulfillment to be met by this other person.

And in order for us to have what we want THEY NEED TO STAY OR BE SOMETHING THAT SUPPORTS THIS VERSION of who we want.

It has nothing to do with the other person and everything to do with us.

We can say that we want the best for someone else,

and I have heard that statement a lot over the 100 days,

but when it comes down to it we will tell our loved one that they are overreacting, that they are not seeing things straight, that they are having a midlife crisis, going crazy, are no longer fun or are now being anti-social. We will find fault in their actions, demeanor, thoughts and feelings and when they share who they are and what they want from life we will unconsciously plug our ears, close our eyes and act like a four year old by chanting nah-nah-nah in our heads and never notice that we are doing any of the sort but instead turn around and tell our loved one that they got it all wrong, it’s this way and not that. That they want this or that instead.

To take it to extreme levels,

its like we are raping our loved one’s.

And what I mean by that is that it is like the rapist that tells the woman that she is wet when she is dry and that she is turned on when she is terrified and then thanks her for making him feel so good.

Now granted that I know that this is an extreme,

but the truth is that anytime when we refuse to see who someone is showing up as,  refusing to hear their words and tell them that they are the ones who are not communicating or saying something else, or tell someone that they are just this or that when they are not,  what we are doing is denying that person in totality.

We are making our desires and views of who they are more important than who they really are and we are forcing our will on them.

We all are guilty of doing this in life and in relationships.

First we must recognize this fact.

We are all blind to the people in our lives and we get caught up in who we perceive them to be.

That is why it is so true that perception is reality.

When perception becomes so strong often the person who is making the change falls weak after time and just gives into what “everyone” is saying and believing and the only true way for them to get away from said perceived reality is to fully disconnect from those who are stating it.

So I ask you today,

Where are you believing that you really know someone and in truth are actually not allowing them to be them?

Where is your blindness in the relationship?

And As Always,

Stop Existing And Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Want to know more about how to create dynamic magical relationships based in truth and love? Reach out to me today for 1:1 mentorship now.

So time for some perfectly balanced SEO that breaks the algorithm:

We can include terms like baby shark and pewdiepie to really broaden the audience and then spice it up with some among us and Minecraft crossed with the hit new youtube sensation that is rust on the OTV server featuring twitch funny moments from jackscepticeye. I also have to mention music, asmr and markiplier that are all important terms here on youtube. Let us not forget of course the makeup and fashion community by referencing shane dawson and james charles. Now whilst this is COMPLETE GIBBERISH to most an algorithm is able to pick out the specific key terms in this post and promote it accordingly. So lets support the Kpop stans by mentioning bts and lofi hip hop. We can even talk about some other big channels like mrbeast and dantdm. For some reason in 2020 some of the most searched tags are game of thrones and avengers endgame… Let us of course not forget the most important things of the year like dunke peppa pig and roblox! Time for all the top current searches Among Us – online game, new song 2020, pop smoke and techno gamerz and tubbo smp! Time For todays new aditions in SEO too: Thanos, fifa, joe biden, inauguration, Tommy, sidemen, mod, update, rt game, yogscast, the spiffing brit, game, predator, fortnite update, fortnite predator, boss!

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The Dance of Love

THE DANCE OF LOVE.
 
These feeling I have are not new to me.
They are but like a distant memory,
that is not distant enough for my heart to not recall the pain that they potentially can bare with them.
These thoughts I have of you,
that my mind, body, soul yearn to experience are not strangers either,
they too carry the distinct scent of surrender,
of love,
of commitment.
And they too hold a fear.
 
I find myself,
sitting here,
looking into your eye’s,
captivated by the light that dances through them,
mesmerized by the the turn of your lips and the soft smile you carry upon them.
I find myself,
looking away in hopes that you will look toward me in these moments,
so that I can feel your desire,
I can feel you taking in my essence.
And I do.
 
Each time our eye’s meet,
each time our lips touch,
each time you stroke my mind with inquiry,
each time you twirl my soul,
and tell me your desires.
 
I find myself being lifted.
I find myself feeling as though I am soaring.
Joy captivates my soul in these moments.
 
You demand my presence.
You demand my depth.
You demand my vulnerability.
My surrender.
And you do it fiercely.
With certainty,
and confidence,
and ohh so smoothly.
 
Like velvet, I find myself wanting to be touched more.
More with your words,
with your thoughts and ponderings.
I find myself wanting to be touched with the emotion that I see and is not fully spoken within your eye’s.
 
Your perfect eye’s.
Those perfect eye’s that carry me.
That shine the light of love on me.
A love that I have felt before,
a love that is so captivating,
so stimulating,
it stirs,
Stirs my being,
and makes me believe that more is possible.
 
This thought of more,
it terrifies,
it electrifies,
and it asks for me to choose.
 
I hear the sweet whisper of love,
I hear it revealing all that I know already,
it is uncovering,
what I fear to let be seen.
And I ask myself,
“Why do you fear this love?”
 
The raw truth is that,
I do not fear.
The shudder that quakes inside of me,
at the possibility,
is not fear,
it is settling.
Settling into all that I have asked God for,
that man,
that lover,
the moments,
and all the beauty that come with them.
 
Oh yes my love,
I do not fear what in being uncovered.
 
Instead I welcome it.
I crave it.
As I covet the sweet surrender,
as I melt into your strength,
into your passion and presence.
 
As I allow you to twirl me in this dance,
that we are becoming breathless in.
It is with this potency,
that I find myself,
opening.
 
Opening yet again,
to all that I fear,
all that I want.
I bare myself to you,
raw, real and with intent.
 
The intent to give myself over to this beautiful moment.
This dance.
 
And so it is,
and always has been,
when lovers meets.
 
The beauty of true love,
is not in the needing of it,
no….
 
It is in the wanting.
Not the wanting of the love,
or even of a person,
no….
 
It is in the wanting to be there.
Be there fully, authentically and ready to be penetrated.
 
Yes,
here in this space,
with love,
true love, we find ourselves.
Communing in the moment,
rapturing into our own glory,
and embracing the dance.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Are you ready to set 2021 on fire?
With your love, your money and your F-ck Yes! Life?
Reach out to me to discover the possibilities for 2021 now.
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Don’t Go Soft On Me…

DON’T GO SOFT ON ME…
 
I have a thing for a man who can get into his primal nature.
 
A man who can make my heart flutter with his firm directive touch.
 
A man who knows his core.
Knows his desire, is comfortable in standing in his truth and let’s me feel it from his deepest soul expression.
 
I love the masculine who penetrates me with his hunger for life.
 
Who dives deeper into my feminine not just with his words or body but with his consistent stable energy.
 
A masculine who gets that the greatest adventure in life is the journey of discovery of self through the awakening of unconditional love.
 
A masculine who wants to rope the moon and stars not to prove his love but to conquer his purpose. To embrace his divinity.
 
I love a man who twirls my energy and opens my heart to believing that more is always possible.
 
A man is steadfast, secure and proactive.
A man who addresses his fears in love with a willingness to hear a deeper level of himself.
 
I love a man who loves my strength.
Not because he loves a strong woman who does not need him, or can take care of him or mother him, but because he wants my strength by his side to conquer the greatest dreams and turn them into a reality.
 
I love a man who sees my truth,
Embraces my heart, my sex and my soul as though it were the greatest gift ever given.
Never wanting to own, to harness or take for granted,
But instead knowing that by igniting it further that I will surrender fully to him and entwine and lift us both into the heavens of love.
 
I love a man that does not run from my fires but instead embraces them and smiles. Opening my heart further into his steadfast commitment and love.
 
I love a man who can read my heart with his tender looks and touches while leading me deeper into spaces that I have not discovered and would not without him by my side.
 
I love a masculine who does not need me,
But chooses me because we are bonded at an energetic level that his soul knows in certainly and love.
 
I love a man who does not go soft with me…
Not in his truth.
Not with his core.
Not in his desire.
Not in his words.
His primal passion,
His hunger of mind, body and soul,
It remains powerful and aligned.
 
No matter how the winds of life swirl and push, the storms that crash in,
He does not bow to them.
 
But chooses to kneel before my alter,
Opening himself to the treasures that my heart wants to give.
Freely.
Strongly.
In certainty.
 
I love a man who knows and loves himself so much so that he will never go soft with me.
 
To all the men of the world looking for a powerful turned on woman,
This is your mission.
Your journey starts within.
In loving self.
Knowing self.
And being strong in your core.
Never let a woman be your purpose.
Never need her,
Choose her.
And she will surrender to your divine love.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers
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Coming Together in the Wound

COMING TOGETHER IN THE WOUND…

OR TOGETHER IN THE HEALING…

We meet our mirrors at different points in time on our life journey.
We are intrigued, even aroused by these meetings.
We sometimes catch the feels,
And get committed.
And often this is the exact case that creates a defined relationship in today’s society.
Two people living thier own life experiences,
Meeting and connecting from thier wounded selves. From a space of feeling broken, fearful, unworthy and incomplete.
And they find themselves drawn into another who is just this as well.
They find this other lost soul who has all these similarities and hopes.
They share thier pain, thier saga and desire to have something more.
And so like magnets they connect.
They feel supported feeding each other the understanding and love that they crave.
They feel seen, heard and like thier mate gets them.
And they do.
Because both are operating from the wound.

Time passes,
The wound remains to a degree for both,
It gets triggered here and there,
Bringing doubt and fear into the hearts of the couple.
But they come together and assure each other that they are there.

And then it happens…
One of them starts to feel better.
Stops masking thier pain,
Stops hiding in thier guilt and suffering and chooses to open up again.
Chooses to breathe life in again.
Choose to heal,
To grow and become whole yet again.
And when this happens thier mate is provided an opportunity to do the same or to burrow themselves into more sadness.
More frustration and fear.
And thus end the relationship.
Because you see when one grows and heals and the other does not then it is the destiny of the relationship to end.

Growth and healing increases your vibration.
It will have you feeling full, in love with life, good about yourself and have you desiring for more in all of your life.

When vibrations increase for one partner but the other does not match vibration any longer then the two will start to experience challenges in connection, understanding each other, there will become an irritation between them like sandpaper and unless one of them does something to change thier frequency then its inevitable that they will split.

Now granted the one who started to grow, heal, transform certainly could hault thier opening. They could work on shrinking themselves again, and grow slower but typically even though this is a possibility it rarely happens because the momentum of growth becomes intoxicating and neither party want a shrinkage to happen.

Even though it quickly becomes evident as to what will occur.

So obviously the best choice to maintain the relationship is for the other partner to take self- responsibility and lean into the scary land of transformation. But its tricky.
They have to lean in because they want the growth for self…
Not just to save the relationship,
Otherwise the vibration will become needy and cause even more irritation between the two.

You cannot lie about your vibration.
And you cannot manipulate your vibration.

On the other spectrum,
Coming together in healing…
Or in growing.

When we meet someone in this place,
Where we are each doing our work,
Learning to take responsibility for self, emotions and actions.
Leaning into our hearts and souls and catching the ego,
When we meet from a place of expansion we find ourselves again feeling deep connection, understanding, love and catching the feels for this other person who is meeting us where we are.

And it feels beautiful.
It feels supportive but not like the crutch of the wounded connection,
Instead supportive from a sense of freedom to be self and to be witnessed just as we are.
This sort of bonding,
As long as both parties continue to love self first, own thier emotions, thoughts and actions and keep leaning into thier individual expansions,
Then they together will connect deeper,
Be witnessed from a truly authentic level,
Experience a quickening in personal growth as well as a melding and accelerated joint growth and transformation which will with its individual vibrational increases also create a worm hole of momentum toward the couples unity.

Here a couple can experience the highest of relationship connectedness in vulnerability, intimacy and authentic unconditional love.

They will be able to cross through challenging waters together because they both built strong individual boats first and are sailing the choppy seas of life side by side, supporting each other but not trying to glue thier boats together in need which only creates instability and weakness in self and relationship.

True mature loving relationship understand and value self and growth first.
They choose to journey together because its a beautiful transformational path to share but they do not need someone by thier side to love the path they are on.
They do what they do because it feels good to them and for them,
Not because they aim to please anyone else.

Look at your relationships of today and yesterday,
Were they founded in the wound or in healing and growth?

What is your desire in your relationship story?
And how is the founding of your current expanding you or holding you back?

Time to get clear.
Time to be real.
Time to connect from strength.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

Reach out to me to discover how you can call in a high vibe relationship today.

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TO BE SOFT… What Does It Mean To Your Happiness?

TO BE SOFT IS TO BE POWERFUL. – Rupi Kaur
 
Last year I went out with my second oldest child, my daughter Rebekah to get tattoo’s. She had this beautiful quote that she was getting putting on the inside of her arm that her boyfriend had ended a love letter with. It was such lovely, powerful words of encouragement and I could easily understand why she desired to keep them for her lifetime.
 
I love ink. And getting inked is a THING.
If you are into ink, you get it.
If not, oh well, I am sorry.
 
SO I decided that I would get a tattoo as well, but I always want my tattoo’s to have meaning of some sort and I had not given much thought to this moment. There we were driving to the artist discussing what I should do. When Bek says mom,
“To be soft is to be powerful. – This is so you mom.”
 
I was bewildered, I do admit.
I felt like I sucked at being soft.
I felt like soft was scary.
I felt like soft was bad somehow, that I should be ashamed of it even.
I questioned what she meant by this.
And she explained,
“Mom you are always there for us. You always let us see you and you are always working on yourself. You make mistakes and you allow for our mistakes. You are the strongest person.”
 
What she was expressing to me was that I ALLOWED MYSELF TO FEEL LIFE.
 
The good.
The bad.
The painful.
The joy and orgasm.
The sweetness.
The bitterness.
The meh.
The void.
The fear.
The fullness.
 
I feel it all.
And I KNOW the BEAUTY of it, because I allow myself to experience it all.
 
And so, she was correct in her statement and much like her that day, I needed to keep with me the reminder of my power in my FEELS.
 
Through the course of this lifetime,
I have wanted so badly to run and hide from what I was feeling.
I have wanted to mask it,
cover it up and not allow it to be seen by self or others.
And when I did allow it to be seen or felt,
I was shamed of my humanness around my fears, my joy, my pain and void.
Something always seemed amiss in my feeling,
it was this voice in my head,
telling me that I should not be feeling this way.
It was this same voice telling me I was weak, pathetic and hopeless.
That it was this sort of crap that kept me disconnected from people.
That I was too much to handle.
I was broken.
 
 
And so I worked ever so hard to toughen up.
I focused on breathing in my emotions and “building a strong house” to hold them in.
In the belief that by not revealing them,
by holding them,
that I was being emotionally mature.
 
LMAO!!!!!
 
Looking back at this I feel silly.
Sweet in my desire to be mature with my emotions,
strong for the people in my life,
true.
But so wrong in truth,
this way of being,
of living was not LIVING.
It was hiding from life.
It was avoidance of who I was,
it was a shrinking of my heart center,
a closing to the one’s that I love.
It was a hardening or callousing of my ability to connect,
to be seen and to see another.
In this stifling of feeling,
I lost my ability to have intimacy with life, with others and with self.
I SHRUNK as a human.
 
And in this I lost.
I was the BIGGEST looser.
Because all I wanted was the intimacy,
the love,
the connection.
To be received and to hold space for another.
And what I gifted myself with in my “strength of holding my emotions so tight” was to shield LIFE.
 
The end result outside of loss of intimacy and ability to relate, connect and love, let alone be authentically compassionate or forgive self or others,
also led me to a shut down in my allowance to self to open and receive abundance.
 
My lesson in feeling,
was that in order to have my desires manifest in any fashion,
I needed to allow myself to “SOFTEN INTO THE FLOW OF FEELING LIFE.”
 
That my power came from this space,
You see in order for you to be able to KNOW YOUR PATH,
to FEEL what is right and good for YOU,
in order for you to be able to TRUST your judgement on any decision,
You must FEEL Your emotions, your physical reactions, your truth about it.
 
This means that if you are calloused to FEELING LIFE,
you will consistently make wrong choices for YOUR LIFE.
 
And this is not what living is about.
This is just existing.
 
And that is the WHY that you have been questioning.
WHY AM I NOT HAPPY?
Why does nothing make me happy?
 
Simple….
You are not FEELING LIFE.
 
Want to change this?
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Coaching Today and level up your life experience to one of FEELING.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
https://www.tantrictransformation.com/micro-consult/
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The Consistency Factor to Success, Happiness and The Life You Desire

Pish, posh…
Sometimes it will not be perfect.
Sometimes you will mess up.
Sometimes it just won’t carry the energy that you want it to.
Sometimes it will be blah…
and you will feel all humbug over it.

But that is just sometimes.
And those sometimes only build energy and power when you focus on them and give them such.

I have humbug moments all the time.
My energy ebbs and flows with the best of you.
Sometimes I write a musing or do one of my daily live streams and find myself asking,
“Why did I even do that? It was horrible.”

But you know what,
when you are building your empire,
and focused on creating that dream life that you know that you are worthy of on the days that you are not so humbug,
then what matters is not always the words that are coming from your lips or finger tips but the CONSISTENTLY to do the damn thing that you know that you need to do to call in the life that you know you are meant to have.

If this is around building a business,
then its about being consistent in your messaging and showing the f-ck up to your tribe a few times a day,
letting them feel you no matter where you are at.

If this is around relationships,
then its about consistently sharing your heart and being present in the relationship.

No matter the subject of your life that you are feeling all humbug about,
the thing to keep in mind is CONSISTENCY.

Without it you will get no where quickly.
With it you will move mountains.

And if you catch yourself feeling low vibe about the things you love so much all too often,
then you best check what kind of thoughts you are consistently thinking too, beautiful.

If you are focusing in on things that are not your core WHY,
are not coming from a place of soul,
or your heart then beware what might be taking hold of you and consistently preaching fear, doubt and worry into your system.

CONSISTENCY in your thoughts has the greatest power over your life.

Remember that.

What you focus on grows.

And often we do not have the self-awareness to realize that we are self- sabotaging with the conversations that we are having with ourselves. Often we choose to not do the most uncomfortable thing that we can,
and that is to LISTEN IN on the words that we speak to ourselves.

These statements that we share in our most deep and intimate space of self are the deciding factors to the paths that we take in our lives.

And anyone who has ever done something great has started cleaning up the habitual thoughts that cause the muck in clarity and truth finding.

As long as you choose ignore your thoughts and ignore taking responsibility for them,

As long as you deny your power to change them and to change the way that you are feeling right now,

You will continue to suffer and not create the life that you want.

Today is a new day beautiful.
Today is a day for you to call in the life that you want.
Today you can SAY YES to YOU.
And today you can CHOOSE what you focus on.

What is your focus for today?
or this week?
This year?

Ready to CLAIM YOUR LIFE?

I sure AF hope so!

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

LET’S CHAT AND GET YOU ON YOUR PATH TO A F-CK YES! LIFE TODAY.

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Your Crazy Life is Just Another Damn Excuse.

Life gets so damn crazy some days.
Actually some months and even years.
 
I am sure that you can relate to how fast paced life can seem.
2019 I believe has been one of those years so far,
for so many of us.
 
I have heard story after story from people that I work with,
and I know from my private life and watching my grown children as well, that 2019 has been just that CRAZY HECTIC.
 
One thing after another.
Not feeling like you have time to breathe even.
So many goals,
so many things you need to do,
even more that you want to do,
but you are exhausted.
 
I get it.
 
I have watched many of you go through massive life changes this year. I have witnessed you pushing hard,
trying to get it all accomplished,
working at being a hero in your life and for those that you love.
Day after day,
I hear your tales of struggle.
Of frustration.
Of overwhelm.
And anxiety.
 
And yet you still desire more for your life.
 
You still want to call in more.
You desire that:
 
relationship of your dreams,
you crave to live in abundance,
you want your body healthy and strong,
you want to complete those projects,
you want to look in the mirror and smile at how strong you are,
and KNOW that you did it.
 
You made it happen.
But you also desire to RELAX.
You crave to kick back and not have to wake every day to fear and worry of not making it through the storm.
You want to be CERTAIN in who you are and what is happening.
 
and you look out into the sea of stories that you watch stream by on your favorite social media platform,
and you wonder….
 
How are they doing it?
 
Why is this person always smiling?
How does that person manage so much?
And them, they are always traveling and buying new shiz.
And that fool over there, they work maybe 5 hours a week and live a life of abundance…
 
What’s up with that?
 
How is that possible?
Why are all these people living the life that I want?
 
They must have something that I don’t have.
They must have been born into a special family.
Have better education…
nope LUCK….
that’s it.
 
The reality is that YOU can have it too.
It is there for all of us beautiful.
You do not need to be special or lucky.
 
All you have to do is believe that you can have it.
Be willing to step away from what is familiar in your current life and jump into what you want,
which FYI will be difficult as F-ck!
 
Just saying.
 
The fact is beautiful,
most people never decide to say yes at this level to their dreams.
 
Most people remain in what is comfortable,
remain in average and ordinary,
because their dreams scare them so deeply,
they find it more logical to just REMAIN in the same.
All the while claiming that they know what to do,
that they really want what they want,
but make excuses ( aka – reasons) as to why they cannot have it.
 
Making themselves a victim to circumstances and life.
Not realizing that it is not the truth.
The TRUTH is that if you keep making excuses,
if you keep coming up with reasons,
if you keep looking at your objections,
to your dreams,
them honey,
you are UNDER VALUING YOURSELF.
 
You are not challenged by anything,
but YOU.
 
And all the chaos,
the crazy,
the wildness of 2019 does not matter.
 
It’s just a effing excuse!
 
It’s just playing into your belief that you are not enough or that you will be too much if you actually SAY F-ck YES! To YOU.
 
But I am here to tell you the truth beautiful.
And that is…
 
YOU ARE WORTH IT.
 
Now CLAIM IT!
 
Ready?
GO.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
I know that you may be scared.
I have been in those shoes before all too many time.
But that fear is not going to stop you.
You are powerful.
Introducing 12- weeks of “Unstoppable Power – It’s My Time To Fly!”
This is a once in a life time to work with me 1:1 from anywhere in the world.
If you are a man or a woman who is looking for a powerful game-changing opportunity to claim the life that you desire in FAITH and learn how you can access your dreams quickly by releasing old programs based in fear and shame around your worthiness, joy and abundance then this 12-weeks is for you.
Stop letting everything be an excuse!
You deserve better than those reasons you have to stay trapped in your comfort bubble of suffering.
Let’s level up your life over summer.
Message me for deet’s or leave a comment here.
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Your SOUL Craves Gourmet Sex and So Does Your Abundance.

The more gourmet sex I have the less I make my bed.
 
It is so vitally important to have gourmet sexual experiences,
not just a bunch of sex.
 
That low vibe,
high friction,
empty,
fast food sex is simply not even worth the time it takes to get undressed.
 
And it most certainly does not feed your soul.
 
It does not drop you into your core, your primal sexual creative energy where many great visionaries, leaders, game changers of all time have spoken of accessing for life success.
 
It is not the sexual encounters documented in Song of Solomon in the bible either.
 
That sort of encounter,
that sort of divine,
touching the big toe of God experience happens only when you tap into your SOUL.
 
Which is a SOUL of SEX.
 
As Thomas Moore states in his book on this very topic,
“In sex an inner life of strong emotions and vivid fantasies meet with a real person to create a moment of exceptional intensity when life is full and reason is dim…
 
But it is the soul, and not some inanimate body, that feels the hunger and can’t resist the appetite.”
 
This appetite that is spoken of here and in Solomon is the hunger for life. The desire that even Jesus spoke of to be fully entwined with the creator.
 
With God.
 
Sex is soul food.
It is a vital nutrient to our human condition,
allowing us to gain access to higher realms of understanding and feeling,
where we become limitless in our manifestation possibilities.
 
However, in order to tap into this storehouse of magic and possibilities one must STOP settling for fast food sex and in turn DEMAND gourmet sexing.
 
Gourmet sexing,
takes one away from the linear mindset,
out of the monkey brain, where we desire for control instead of freedom.
 
Gourmet sexing is about tapping into our already full state of being and opening into our true spiritual power.
 
This is where we command in our blessings.
When we allow our soul the expression of gourmet sex,
in its craving of these blissful excursions,
we experience a separate reality,
where we tap into the mystery of being human.
 
Here in this enticing altered state of being and awareness, the SOUL discovers many truths about life, love, our partners, selves and God. This expanded understanding of sex ignites our manifestation capabilities and provides us the complexity and satisfying fulfillment of what being HUMAN can offer.
 
The details of what one once found important,
the fears,
concerns and doubts around our lives experiences,
the responsibilities that we take on to hide our truth and power,
all are washed away through gourmet sexing.
 
And are replaced with compassion,
a deep desire of authenticity,
passion, joy and connection.
 
In this altered state of a sexing we discover WHO WE ARE.
 
I can share from a very intimate note that when we tap into this way of sexing and living we impact all of life. The ripple effect from each who chooses the enlightened path of sex and the soul expression that is was designed to be end up being a healing agent in this ill world.
 
Now I call on you beautiful to inquire about how you choose to view your sex.
 
I ask you do you identify with the desire that your SOUL has to be expressed?
 
Do you cherish and respect the power of your orgasm?
And the greatness that it can offer you in your manifestation for a life of richness, abundance and freedom?
 
Or is your sex more equivalent of washing your hands or making your bed, where it has little meaning or depth and you cannot fathom such richness and power coming from what you perceive as friction based activity that serves for the reproduction or stress release?
 
Curious about the Soul of Your Sex?
 
Let me share with you almost 30 years of education, training and enlightened study on this topic and how it can NOT ONLY change your bedroom life but also your ABUNDANCE.
 
Message me about elite coaching now.
 
As Always, Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
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NOT REALLY 100% INVESTED ARE YOU? AT LEAST NOT THIS YEAR – Maybe Next???

NOT REALLY 100% INVESTED ARE YOU? AT LEAST NOT THIS YEAR – Maybe Next???

I ask a question of people on my applications to work with me, it goes like this:

Are you willing to invest in your coaching process fully if we decide to work together?

And the options are:

*Yes! Absolutely. I fully understand the power of investing into myself and committing to the process.

* I am unsure as to what I want or my commitment level.
* No, I am just exploring options at this time.

The majority of the people who fill out my application, no matter what their truth may be click on option one.
They proclaim that they understand the power of investing in themselves FULLY and what commitment is.

Funny thing happens though once they are faced with their truth. Or their financial situation. Or their lack of worth. Or their FEAR. This is a big effing one.
They retreat.
They make excuses.
They do everything they can to hide from the f-cking fact that they don’t want it bad enough for themselves.

Now you most likely are thinking,
“That’s not me, Kendal, I want it. I want it more than anything. I am 100% invested in whatever I need to do or make happen to have the life that I desire and know I was born to live. ”

Are you sure?

Because I am willing to wager that you are not as invested or committed to self as you believe that you are.
I am saying this because I see you.
I see you making the statements.
And proclaiming that you want this, and this and this too.
And I see you getting side tracked.
I see life getting in your way.
I see your beautiful,
logical reasons that you are offering up as to why you have not done this or that.
Yeah I see you.
I see how you are short changing yourself.

And here is the real deal beautiful,
YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN WHAT YOU ARE ALLOWING FOR YOURSELF.

But you will NEVER have it if you do not stop effing around and avoiding the opportunities to have it because you are scared of having it.

You are scared aren’t you?

Its manifesting itself as concern.
Its coming up as worry, and fatigue, and chaos.
And you continue to pretend that everything is okay.
You run along and just keep acting like life is all groovy,
that you got your shiz in order and that you don’t really need the help. But then you say I need help. I don’t understand. I cannot get movement here, this is sucking over here.

You proclaim, “I AM READY FOR A CHANGE.”

And so you call in the opportunity.
And then you cry about the commitment.
You turn your nose up at the investment.
You make an excuse.

You know what matters more to you then your desire,
than your happiness,
than whatever it is that you are claiming you want?

The bottom dollar means more.
The what’s this going to cost me.
You walk into the land of change with the objection of price, and you are under some damn idea that it should be gifted to you and Oh Yeah It should not mean that you have to apply yourself to making the change.

Let’s not forget that.

You want me to do what?
Spend how much time on my inner work?
Commit to what with my partner/spouse?
You want me to actually take action?

Nah, I don’t want it that bad this year.
Maybe next.
When I have made my million dollars then I will revisit this.
When I am stable emotionally, financially, physically then I will explore this.

I don’t have (fill in the blank) right now to do this.

Honey, if this is you I am writing about realize that with that sort of mindset and lack of commitment the thing you are wanting to have happen WILL NEVER HAPPEN.

Do you get how miracles happen?
They happen when we expect them too.
When we open ourselves through faith and putting ourselves up to the test. You have to not just step but LEAP if you want a miracle.

Making excuses will never get you this or the life that you want.
Matter a fact, if you want to know how much something of this potency is going to cost you here is the actual answer that you need to digest and sit with:

If you don’t do it – It will cost you YOUR LIFE. Your EVERYTHING.

Because you know what you have been doing,
You know where it has gotten you,
You feel what it feel’s like to be living this way,
and you are hungry.
So if you keep doing what you have always done,
YOU WILL STARVE!

So may people are under the assumption that if you just sit in a certain position,
think great thoughts and breathe a certain way that you never have to actually get off your ass and do something to manifest your dreams and goals.

So many other people, believe that if they just keep doing what they have been doing and work harder, scrimp more and freak out more that they will be successful in time and have the life that they want.

MOFO – NEWSFLASH!

Neither is accurate.
Neither will lead to your greatest, happiest life.

You are out of alignment in both cases,
and you are not taking the action that your SOUL wants you too.

So WTF do you do beautiful?

This is up to YOU!

My suggestion is get REAL.
Get COMMITTED.
Make the MOFO INVESTMENT.
Stop making excuses and continuing to do the same things expecting different results,
this is crazy.

But what do I know?

I don’t know you, and perhaps you don’t know you.
That is most likely the root of your issue beautiful.

And As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching For Grwon A*s Believers

It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.

I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.

But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.

Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.

Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.

What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?

You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.