I View All My Clients As Lovers.

It is frequently assumed that I go on many dates with many men..

It is assumed that to be a coach who teaches people how to have more, and deeper better sex that I must be loose or easy to bed.

That sex is something I am addicted too even.

Its often assumed that because I am the mother of seven that I am uncontrollable and quenchless in my thirst for sex or orgasm.

People often say to me,
” you would think that a sex coach would have figured out what causes pregnancy by now.”

Many look at me with horrified questioning eyes as they inquire if I will have any more children or why I am not currently married.

The assumptions roll through thier minds and almost escape thier lips.

Perhaps even you dear reader and follower wonder and question.
Perhaps you are among the assumers.
And I want you to know that I thank you.
I thank you for all that you feel.
All that you think.
And all that you sometimes goofily share in your assumptions.

I see your humanness.
And I do not judge it.
As you judge me.

I know what my truth is.
I know whom I love.
I know that my heart,
My message and my calling is felt and seen by those it is meant for.

Not everyone can be like a taco as my best friend would say.
And even though I may have a body part that resembles,
I am still not a taco.

I write this musing this evening to shed the light on how we judge what we do not understand.
How we cast stones with certainty,
But are enraged when they are thrown back without due reason in our opinion.

Today I share with you from a place I choose to call the labyrinth of mirrors.

This is the place where we can choose to see ourselves in ALL we come in contact with on our life journey,
Or we can turn away from them,
Look downward and become lost in the maze of our own fears and self criticism.

What do you choose my sweet human?
To be judge and jury to all in your life
And that you meet on your path.

Or to be human.
To be human means to be compassionate.
To self and to others.
To know that we do not know what anothers shoes are like.
What the path they have traveled took them through.
To be human means that you stand as witness not judge.
And to witness another is one of the greatest gifts we can ever offer.
To allow ourselves to be witnessed is the next.

Just yesterday I was working with a dear client of mine. This man has love streaming from every energy fiber he has. And yet he struggles with allowing himself the simple pleasure of recieving that love back.

I left him with the words,
” One day I hope you give me the gift of you allowing yourself to recieve my love.”

Now that statement may instantly bring up assumptions and judgments in you about me.
Or my coaching practice.
What does Kendal do with her clients?
Is she in romantic relations with them.

And you can assume.
You can judge.
And you can cast your head down and keep stubling through your maze.

Be my guest.

What I can tell you is that each day it is revealed and I am reminded of the deep intimacy I hold with these souls that are labled my clients.

They are not my clients.
They are my lovers.
I love each of them deeply.
Men.
Women.
Couples.
The intimacy, vulnerability, rawness and depth that they trust me with is without messure one of the greatest gifts of this life time for me.

And yes….
I love my clients.
I love them for thier willingness to stop bouncing off the walls of thier maze and instead to sit still and let them selves be revealed through the mirrors that are presented on thier path.

I love them for thier courage to catch thier inner judge and jury and fire them daily,
While loving themselves at a more intense level.

I love them for the tender moments that they give grace…
TO THEMSELVES.

I love them for the humor and laughter as they learn how to skip through thier errors and self defeating patterns.

Yes they are my lovers.
And I love them for the blessings that they are.

Now back to that dating thing….
I have dated a few men in my time.
And I have dated many at the same time.
But the men of my current…
The men I choose daily.
These men you may or may never meet…
Some can be captured in picture.
Others in story.

More than one?
Yes in deed.

And does it matter whom they are to you?
Well lets just see if you have been listening.
The judge.
The jury.
They have your answer.

But the mirror will never lie.

As Always My Loves,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

 

Too Busy Livin’ to Give A Shiz!

Too busy livin’ to give a shiz!
And that’s the way it is supposed to be.

When the rest of this world is caught up in competing with the Jones.
When everyone around is pointing fingers in judgement and lookin’ with a critical eye.

You will find me laughing.
Doing what feels best to my soul.
Connecting with the wild ones like myself.

When you look at me and compare your life,
Compare your relationship and your sex,
When you wonder how I live out loud and keep smiling.
When you convince yourself that I must have chosen the rougher path

Or that I am crazy.
Or somehow not happy.
That I am faking it.

You will find me making love on the golf course under the stars.
Drinking fine wine in a meadow watching fireflies light up the woods.
You will see me speaking my mind with out care,
Writing my life story,
The way that I want it.

Not the way that you or anyone else believes it should be.
No my sweet critic,
I once was you and I know the sadness that this need to judge, to compare, to try and control another or worse to try and control my own soul brought me.

I feel you.
I get you.
This virgo knows how empty you most likely feel,
And how the critical ideas of knowing more or a better makes you feel fulfilled.
Feel like a person who cares.
Who wants a better world.

I also know the expanding darkness of not seeing your own light by hiding from your truth that this way of existing brings.

You are hiding luv.
You are avoiding your truth
Your SOUL.

Insecure.
Lost.
Lonely.
Fearful.
Full of worry, wounds, and frustration.
This is the life you are choosing.
And all because you fear living.

You fear BEING YOU.
So you turn to me and you point your fingers in disgust.
You want to tell me how I should live.
Oh but honey,
I am too busy livin’ to give a shiz!
Too busy livin’,
Creating my moments,
Dancing into the masterpiece of my life and rolling in the wet paint to care what you think.

I may be messy.
I may have chaos.
I may show my feelings,
My highs and lows without remorse.

I may not be your version of perfect.
But there is something I have that you want.

I have my connection to SOUL.
I am livin’ my life.
In full expression.

And my advice to you baby,
Is to put down your judgements,
Your bitterness and your criticism.
Stop competing and comparing.
It only shows your seperation from self.

Step into love.
Step into compassion.
And give yourself permission to be YOU.

Stop hiding
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

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YOUR NEGATIVE FEEDBACK SHOWS JUST HOW OUT OF ALIGNMENT YOU TRULY ARE.

YOUR NEGATIVE FEEDBACK SHOWS JUST HOW OUT OF ALIGNMENT YOU TRULY ARE.
 
But thank you anyway for sharing it.
 
Many moon’s ago I learned this little bit of spiritual wisdom and it has made all the difference in how I deal with others and has helped me to soften my reaction to other as well.
 
After learning it,
I became more compassionate as I simply saw their judgments, opinions, criticisms and ideas about my life and ways,
even who I was or was not,
as a message as to how they actually saw themselves and just did not recognize it.
 
It is always so much easier to witness in others,
that, that we have challenges with ourselves on the most.
 
We see this all the time while driving.
People with road rage,
or people who quickly get defensive or frustrated on the road typically are the one’s who are not wanting to drive,
believe that people are bad drivers always,
believe that there is always way too much traffic,
that people don’t know how to merge.
And you catch these individuals yelping about everything negative on the road.
They also are the one’s who will get right up on your ass and honk,
will flip you off for no good reason,
will pass you quickly and push their way in to exit instead of just moving with the flow of traffic.
 
They enter the experience of driving with an energy about them.
 
It is the energy of pissed off frustration.
And they drive accordingly.
And they see it in all their fellow drivers even more so.
 
And it is just this way,
because THIS is what they are FOCUSED ON.
 
Focused on the negativity.
Focused on the anger that they feel.
They will say, ” I just don’t like crowds or people.”
But what they are saying is, ” I don’t like myself.”
or ” I am nervous, insecure around people.”
 
And their focus on the negativity,
on the fear,
the uncertainty,
the control that they desire,
makes them judgmental of everyone around them and keeps their eye’s open to only THAT that they are looking most for.
 
WHAT IS WRONG IN THIS WORLD.
 
What is wrong with you.
What is wrong with anyone.
 
And to make matters even more worse,
these fine folks with their critical eye want to help FIX IT.
And they KNOW they have the answer needed,
because they have been on the outside looking in and they see how to go about it.
 
They see the TRUTH.
Your TRUTH.
They have it all figured out.
And they WANT TO HELP.
 
Never realizing that they cannot help from the place that they are witnessing from,
because they are witnessing an illusion,
or at best an old version of the situation or of you.
They are witnessing the events from a place of scarcity, doubt,
a need to control.
They are witnessing from a place that is not whole.
That place being themselves.
And because their focus in on the negative and a need to fix, control, change things,
they are revealing just how they feel about themselves at the deepest of levels.
 
Because you see a person who LOVES THEMSELVES,
a person who is connected and aligned to SOUL,
a person who is respectful of being human,
a person who is compassionate,
a person who has true confidence and self-esteem,
who know’s how powerful they really are,
that sort of person has…
 
NO DESIRE TO JUDGE OR CRITICIZE.
 
When we judge.
When we criticize.
When we try and change or tell another how or who they are.
When we try and convince another that they are wrong on their path.
We in fact are attempting to CONTROL them.
And not loving them for just who they are, as is.
 
When we do these things,
we may use tactics such as guilt, shame or fear to get the results that we feel are right,
and in so doing so,
we cut down the heart and soul of the other person.
And if you get right with yourself,
you will realize just how crappy that actually feels to bring someone down.
 
No matter how good your reasoning may be,
it does not feel good.
 
And that is because
YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR OWN SOUL ALIGNMENT
in these moments.
 
So what do you do when you find yourself wanting to fix, judge or change someone?
 
You breathe and look at what is really coming up for you.
Instead ask yourself,
 
” How do I truly feel about myself right now?”
 
I mean really go there.
Don’t take that first response of,
” I feel great!”
That your ego will spout off.
 
If you want to connect to people.
If you want to enjoy life.
Be happy.
Be received from others.
If you want to know yourself and feel good about who you are.
To be loved and to love.
 
Then you owe yourself the TRUTH.
 
How do you feel about the person you are right now?
How do you feel about the life that you have right now?
 
Start there beautiful.
And take your focus off of everyone’s challenges.
Because whether they have them or not,
it does not matter.
 
Those challenges and issues,
those problems and wrong doings or beings,
that you perceive.
Are NOT YOURS to fix in any other than YOURSELF.
 
Start There.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
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Enjoy the shifting tales I share here but want that deep dive where you make the changes that you know you need to have the life that you know you were born for?
 
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You are worthy to live a F-ck Yes! Life.

This is WHY I love my haters, nahsayers and skeptics that choose to follow….

 

This is WHY I love my haters, nahsayers and skeptics….

I just want to say that I love you!
I truly do.
Without those of you who live for the fight,
for the ego, for the anger and the sadness,
there would be no mission to bring light and love into this world.
Without all of you who are super critical,
who find more value and worth in trying to be right then focusing on beauty and truth.
For all of you who feel the need to judge, criticize, make fun of, and attempt to squash,
there would be limited exploration into self,
into deeper awareness and understanding.
Without you who adore darkness and hatred,
who live for the putrid thoughts and ill feelings,
there would not be contrast,
showing what love is and what love is not.
Revealing what walking on the path of soul is and what it is not.
For those who speak of their belief,
their faith and their loyalty,
to something greater and grander,
how they live the words of masters of our past,
yet weld the words of inner demons and sadness.
This void that you choose to bless the rest with,
is a blessing sweet soul.

It is a blessing,
and for this I love you.
I love you,
my haters,
my nahsayers,
the skeptics that choose to follow,
to criticize,
to condemn,
and cast stones that are not yours to cast.

I love you for showing the path that hatred and self-contempt can take any of us down,
for sharing the void that you must feel,
the lostness that eats at your soul.
I hear your pain sweet one.
I see your pleas,
your anger,
your fear.
Your desire to be recognized,
to feel some sort of worth.
If even from a negative source.
Much like a small child,
who acts out to receive attention,
you too act out to be seen.

I tell you here,
I tell you from my heart and my soul,
although you may not want to believe,
to hear or to receive.
I tell you now,
I LOVE YOU.
You are worthy.
You are beautiful.
You are deserving of happiness and abundance.
No matter how lost,
or sad or traumatized you may be.
YOU are worthy.

One day your soul will speak,
and you will choose a different path.
You will choose to hear the words,
the words of your worth.
You will realize that in order to fill that void,
that gaping hole that resides inside of you,
you will have to lean away from hatred,
away from judgement,
away from the casting of the stones.
You will have to embrace that we are all part of the same race.
We are HUMAN.
And we have our misguiding’s.
Our ego catches the best of us,
but still God wants for nothing more,
then EVERYONE of us to LOVE life.
To love thy neighbor as thy self.
To know that none walk without sin.
To know that we are loved.
To know that we are worthy.

And to OWN the very truth that LOVE,
Love is the answer.

This is why I love my haters, my nahsayers and the skeptics that choose to follow me.
That choose to condemn.
That choose to hate as they preach.
I love you sweet haters.
Thank you for supporting my mission.
Thank you for supporting my soul work.
Thank you for the opportunities to share,
my heart,
my soul,
and from this authentic space,
that as I sit in stillness,
and listen to the calling.
I know….
I know who I am .
I know how important it is…
to STAND firmly,
to speak in love,
to clarify,
to lead,
to share the message of a life worth living.
The life that we are all here to LIVE.
A life of THRIVING.
For anything other is not giving praise to our creator.

I love you haters, nahsayers and skeptics.
Thank you! Thank you for your sharing.

Without YOU there would be no reason.

I share with you now one of my favorite messages,
the one that most aligns…

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

And remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

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Reasons or Results – Which Is Your Life About?

Just this morning I was walking my kindergartner into his school. There I was in yoga pants, a tank top and sweat shirt off one shoulder. My hawaii flip flops on my feet and my hair tossed up in a pony tail. My son and I were goofing around like we do every morning, laughing and hugging, picking on each other as we crossed the parking lot and walked down the entry way of the school.

It was just another morning in truth.
And yet it was not.
Because this morning I was people watching more so than what I normally do for some reason.
And as always with people watching I always feel so separated from those around me.
I feel judgmental.
Almost critical.
And maybe I should be ashamed to admit that here publicly, but living by my true style I am going to stand in my raw truth with you and just speak it.
I mean we are all judgmental and critical.
And anyone who claims to not be is hiding or lying.

What it comes down to in my opinion, is what you choose to do with the judgments and thoughts that come up.
Do you choose to observe them,
do some good inquiry around them,
and discover deeper messages about yourself?
Or do you choose to pick apart others and find fault and reason as to why you are suffering or how you are better than another in order to justify your worth or reasons?

So here I was,
walking in the school with my son like fifty other women,
and what I noticed was the lack of connection between these parents and their children. There was no laughter, only seriousness and rushing.
There were no smiles even, just pissed off turned down expressions.
Most walked quickly and with a hunched over frame, as though they were trying to hide.
And then there were a few who bee-bopped by looking like they had been up for 3 hours already. Very well put together, but walking in haste.
Entering the school,
music playing, teachers singing and welcoming children, I noticed how the kids lit up as they entered the school because the teachers were appearing excited and happy to start the day with them. The upbeat music caught your ear and made you want to sing along, which is what I do every morning.

But I was alone.
and parents looked at me,
casting their own judgement back.
Most likely wondering who this crazy woman is who dares be happy and sing out loud to her child and shake her hips at the front door as she kisses her kid good by and gives a big hug, then turns and chats with a teacher or two?

Yes, so there I was judging and being judged.
And as I turned and walked back to my car, I noticed how so many parents just seemed lifeless.
Now I was feeling pity.
And I don’t do pity very well.
My pity quickly turned to irritation and disgust.
I looked at these people,
and in my belief they each have a purpose.
They each have a talent.
They are each born for greatness.
They are worthy.
But all I see here is a lack of worth.
And the only effing reason for it is that they are allowing it.
And what are they teaching their children by accepting such a life of low vibe, low energy, dullness and disconnect?

They are teaching them to be the same.
Because our children 90 % of the time do not learn from what we tell them to do, but from what we show them we are doing.

You want an honest child.
Be honest with your child and others.

You want a compassionate child.
Be compassionate with your child and others.

You want a child that can stand on their own two feel and is not easily lead astray.
Then be strong in who you are and have good boundaries and speak your truth.

Whatever you are desiring your child to grow up to be,
realize that you are an example to them.

So back to my point.

Here as I walked I saw a bunch of people who had somewhere along the life trail gotten good with just existing.
Gotten good with their reasons,
their excuses and why’s.
They had settled into not having.
Settled into average.

And had forgotten that they could define what their average looked and felt like.

It’s crazy to think how close to all that we want each and everyone of us truly is.
And yet it is so.
It is no further away then what we are willing to accept for ourselves.
Willing to believe for ourselves.
Willing to expect for ourselves.

But WE have to actually want it bad enough to stop calling in all the reasons that we don’t have it or cannot have it.

Our reasons have got to mean less to us then our DESIRE.

So what are you settling for?
What are the core beliefs that you have that are creating things that you don’t want?
And are you conscious to them?

Let’s get real.
Let’s get raw.
Let’s define.

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Sick and tired of settling for so much less than what you know you can have?
Accepting less in your success, your finances, your love, your relationships or your health?

Well STOP making excuses and TAKE the CALL TO ACTION TODAY.

Kendal I was bankrupt when I first met you. I had no idea how I was going to pay you. Working a dead end job, going through a nasty divorce and had lost everything. All I knew was that if I did not have faith right now and stand my ground that life was going to run me over. Thank God I chose this! Your coaching did not just help get me through everything, it transformed my existence. Today I am making three times the income I was back then. I am dating a dynamic woman and cannot imagine life much better. It is all because of your guidance and wisdom. I wish more people understood the true power of a mentor. Thank beautiful! – Timothy Gearst, Dallas Texas

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Could This Be You?

Your Perception Does Not Define Me.

It’s your impression of me that shuts me down.

It’s your view of who you think I am that prevents you from seeing whom I really am.

It’s your ideas about what I am thinking,
feeling that create this space between us.

It’s your fear of my inner world that holds your authentic self from coming out.

STOP.

Stop putting your idea’s,
your feelings,
your fears,
on me.

They are not mine.
Do not shut me out
because it is easier than feeling into me.

Do not disconnect and not speak,
because you already know what I will respond with.

Do not retract your love,
because you are certain you heard me say one thing when
IN FACT you were not listening.

All you hear is your program.
All you hear is your past trauma.
All you hear is your baggage.

You think you see me clearly.
But you only see my reflection.
The one that you have painted.

None of this is true.

Your perception of me,
is NOT my reality.

That fear,
that doubt,
that anger you hold.

It is in you.
It is not mine.

That blame you are trying to hand to me,
it is yours my love.

It is not mine.

All this viewing of a shadow I never cast,
has you seeing an image of me that never has been.

It is your impression of me that shuts me down.

I feel you judging.
I feel you closing me out.
I feel you hiding.
I feel you poking at me,
hoping to see me,
but not willing to stand with me.

Confirmation of your inability to stand,
comes from your actions.
Those actions you claim you have no choice but to make.
Those actions which you initiated,
initiated with your fear,
your anger,
your doubt,
your lack of feeling worthy.

That self-hatred,
you cast it onto me.
You see me in the blinding light of your self rage,
and you mistake me for the devil.

That devil that resides deep withing each of us.
That devil that has brainwashed you,
you into believing you are not doing anything,
but that everything is happening to you.

You are the driver of your life.
These are your choices.

This is our path.
The journey we have chosen to share.

It is your impression of me that keep’s me locked out of your castle gates.
It is your fear of being loved that keep’s you from feeling me.
It is your anger of the reflection that I provide that has the inner devil dancing in rage.

It is you my love.
It is you.

I will not own this image that you have gifted me with.
I will not claim it as my own.

I CHOOSE love.
I CHOOSE growth.
I CHOOSE soul.
I CHOOSE to see the light.

The light in me.
The light in you.

This I honor.
This I am in gratitude for.

Put down your armor,
let your warrior rest.
It is time to embrace the truth.
Time to SEE your TRUTH.

You are WORTHY.
Stand in your FEAR and cast out the devils there.

This is your calling.

And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

PS-  I love you♥
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Monogamy and Infidelity… What Has Happened to Relationship?

IMG_2885 editIt has been an interesting social week for this sex geek!

Love, marriage, relationship, sex, commitment, integrity, open-mindedness, judgement, new friends, old lovers and so much more…

Most of what keeps coming up this last week for me is circling around our idea’s and beliefs when looking at marriage or a “committed” relationship. The do’s and don’ts, and what is truly correct. What I have been reminded of the most is that one person’s “right way” is not always another person’s “right way,” and that this is such a beautiful thing that so many have a tough time accepting and seeing for the incredible gift that it is. As an ego based society we have been brainwashed into believing so fully that our beliefs are actually fact that we have squeezed out life, free will and individuality. We have buried personal truth and forgotten the age old wisdom, of love thy neighbor. The one core principle that ALL religions and spiritual practices have in common and as foundation. We have also forgotten that even our own personal truths and beliefs can change over the course of time and that in the end they are still only opinions in the eyes of others. Weather we back our statements with scripture, scientific evidence, or something else, they are all conjured from human translation.

Interestingly enough, since my last writing I have been through quiet a host of events and thoughts on this. A lover that I have had for a few years now (whom is a married man) had to deal with the possibility of divorce with his wife after a large dispute over his sexual activity outside of the marriage. Yet, their relationship is sexually dead and I mean DEAD. There is not even guilt sex happening. Now, I know that many who read this will be disgusted and damning, saying that in this sort of case instead of having an affair one should just get out of the relationship and stay in integrity. If your not happy then it is time to move on. If there are issues that cannot be resolved then it is time to move on. True as all of that is from a logical stand point, there are personal reasons that many who have affairs have that make it not so cut and dry. Yes, I am speaking from personal experience here. I have been an adulteress and obviously I have been a mistress as well. Both roles have blessed me with so much life lesson and deep empathy that I cannot see the disgust in them but only the beauty and empowerment that they both have led too.

Now, here is another interesting event of my week. Another old lover of mine who is a single man but was married years ago has a jealous, controlling ex-wife who has decided that he should not even text with me. Her attitude is very similar to the wife of my other lover, yet there is no contract that she can hold over his head or shame him of some religious sin. She can however cause disturbances and chaos.

In both cases above what we have are some core beliefs that we are taught about relationship, especially marriage.

In marriage you are responsible for your partners happiness.
In marriage, you are NOT to have any intimate or emotional relationships outside of that relationship. 

Love as unconditional as we may say it is hits the wall of conditions when dealing with sex and emotions.
Ownership. (Partners own the rights to use of their partners body, especially genitals) 

Jealousy is love.
If you cheat, you do not love your husband/wife.

So as you read this list, what did your heart say about each item?

Your heart not your ego, your beliefs and programs. Not what religion states. But what did your heart say? Your heart speaks in whispers remember, while the others are in your face, yelling the answers.

In follow up to these two events, I decided to do some social research on FaceBook and pose a couple questions. Here they are with some of the answers I received.

Is infidelity ALWAYS infidelity?

▪ Nope. Not always…Guess it depends on what your own definition of that is.
▪ Other’s concept of infidelity may not be yours. Not a universal definition.
▪ Infidelity is infidelity no matter how you slice it and dice it. infidelity is kissing another woman/man on the lips or commiting a sexual act with another person when in a relationship with someone. example…. peter is dating jenna, peter kisses another girl and has sexual relations with the other girl, that is infidelity.
▪ There are couples that are monogamous and then there are others that are polyamorous. Whatever works for a couple the most important thing is honesty with each other.
▪ A toxic relationship is a toxic relationship. No one should expose themselves to such thing for a prolonged agonizing period. Though leaving in itself is self empowering, and probably something that needs to be done by you. Cheating or committing in act of infidelity is a weakness that one succumbs under.
▪ And my favorite response: If communication is open and honest, then infidelity would never occur

The next question I posed was:
70%+ divorce rate. Over 40% of men in their late 40’s to 50’s have affairs. Over 30% of women in their 30’s have affairs. Many relationships have non existent or almost there so sexual relations after the 12th year together. Sperm are designed to fight sperm from other men, so that the strongest may win and the strongest offspring will be born to a woman. Women can become allergic to their mates semen.

College Study: In the early 1970s, a schoolteacher in southern England assigned a class science project in which his students were to find out the blood types of their parents. The students were then to use this information to deduce their own blood types (because a gene from each parent determines your blood type, in most instances only a certain number of combinations are possible). Instead, 30 per cent of the students discovered their dads were not their biologically fathers.

Question of the day: Are humans designed to be a monogamous species?

▪ It is possible. it requires a lot of internal work; which most people are not willing to go through.
▪ No, I don’t believe so. The reality of our true biological nature does not lend itself to that. We are programmed & learn that we should be, however, just look realistically at the divorce rate & you can see that something is a miss.
▪ I don’t think so… I think monogamy is a choice, one that can be followed through with, but naturally designed to be, no. Look at the bonobo, we are more closely related to them than any other primate/species. They, besides us (humans) are the only species who have sex, just for fun, and they do so with multiple partners. There is no hierarchy, no violence… I think it’s time we realize this, not to necessarily have multiple partners, but to have a better understanding of why we have such a high rate of failed monogamous relationships.
▪ Yes, were designed to be monogamous.. But as we as a human race evolved down through history, very early on we developed an appetite for more, and diverse engagement.. The pleasure center of our being was unlocked and an insatiable desire took over.. Pleasure is one thing, real love is another.. There is something sacred, about loved shared with one…and one only.. But our society doesn’t know how to facilitate that anymore.. There are unseen forces that prompt and Ignite some of the deeper..even hidden.. Passions.. That we might have had for just one person.. So yes, were designed.. But in the current cultural climate it is difficult to maintain.. Must be an incredible commitment to that person in your life.. Subtle, seek to steal and Rob the beauty, of that kind of oneness between two people.. Like some unseen force trying to take it away entirely… Just my sincere and humble opinion.
▪ I used to believe we were meant to be monogamous but I’m believing more and more that there is no way that just one person can satisfy all of our wants and needs (nor can we satisfy them). I believe in being open and honest with a partner but not necessarily monogamous. Just my opinion.
▪ Interestingly . . . way back in time . . . women decided what attributes their child would have . . . strength, stature, gentleness, hair colour, etc. . . . and would then seek out amongst the males in their community or tribe . . . those who embodied or embraced those qualities . . . and they would then mate with all of the chosen ones, repeatedly . . .

When the woman became pregnant with child . . . she would be supported by others of her ilk . . . and when the baby arrived . . . all of the fathers – sperm donors . . . would come to acknowledge their contribution to the new arrival . . . Within the tribe there would be those who quite naturally assumed the fatherly role in the child’s upbringing . . . even though they might not have been amongst the sperm donors .

What does all of this come down too?

Opinions. Beliefs. Programs.

All supported. All beautiful. All correct and all wrong. The true lesson of humanity is to love thy neighbor as thy self. And such raw topics such as infidelity and monogamy vs. non-monogamy are perfect teachers. Yet, fear blinds us. It blinds us from the possibilities of living in harmony and peace by embracing in unconditional love our neighbors, our lovers and mates and even ourselves. Instead of opening our minds and hearts we restrict them and point fingers. We say, “I am not judging you, that is God’s job,” while we state our opinion as fact. We slam the door of brotherhood because we fear our brothers beliefs. We go on witch hunts and call those who do not live according to our ways sluts, whores, tempters and temptresses. We pity them and most of all we fear the questions they pose to our soul without ever verbally asking it: Why am I not happy and what am I so scared of?

Fear is the answer to both.

Both questions come back to false evidence appearing real. Both are based on what we perceive as a danger when in fact, it is only self-created illusion supported by society.

We are not happy because we lack the strength and courage to live in integrity and authentically to be ourselves. We are fearful that if we were to do this, we would loss love, acceptance, family, comfort, all that we know. We fear that what we cherish in our lives and in love is truly conditional based.

We are scared of the reality of these conditions and that by living in our truth we will loose all that we feel we need.

And in reality….

Fear is just an illusion. There is no danger in any of the above. There is the reality that in many cases our fear WILL be supported by those parties we are interacting with and that we may very well find out that what we knew deep down is actually true. But, this just means that it was all a hoax anyway.

The hoax of conditional, fear based, controlling need wearing the mask of unconditional love.

In the end, it is a personal choice. The choice of living in a lie and being a sheep to needs of another or being a lion and standing firm for WHO YOU authentically are, just the way god made you.

Choose wisely. You deserve it!

-KW

One Drop of Ink

It is possible to move men, through God, by prayer alone. ~ Hudson Taylor

It was a cold winter evening as we got into the car. I could not help but wonder why I was feeling the need to pray for Lisa at this moment. I prayed every night for Lisa as well as her brother and sister, but why now, in this moment? We were headed back home and Lisa was in the car with her uncle in front of us, her brother and sister were with me. She waved to us as we left the parking lot following them home from an evening out in the city. Everything seemed fine and yet there was this eager feeling to pray, pray NOW for Lisa. I was bewildered yet paused for a moment in my mind and took a deep breath, “Please Lord, watch over Lisa, send your angels to protect her from harm’s way.” Shortly thereafter I saw a semi’s lights coming toward the car that Lisa was a passenger in. I gasp a sigh as the trailer of the truck swayed back and forth in the lanes ahead.  Quickly I prayed again,” Please Lord, protect Lisa in these moments, remove her from harm’s way.” The car that Lisa and her Uncle were in slowed and pulled to the side of the road, the swaying semi passed them and they were safe. Just then I noticed another car, the trailer of the truck crashed into it smashing the back end of the vehicle.  We pulled over, the semi managed to stop as well. All of us running to the passengers in the car that had been hit.  Everyone was safe luckily but the back of the car was crunched up to the front seats. As the driver of the car got out shakily with his wife and daughter he was shocked at the damage. I asked if they were ok and he said, ‘Yes. Luckily we stopped a few miles back though or it would not be so.” I inquired what he meant. “A few miles back we pulled over and swapped the present we had been out buying this evening into the back seat so our daughter could sit up front with us. If we had not done this she would not be here anymore.” Looking at the car again, the Christmas presents in the back seat were destroyed as they pressed against the back of the front seats of the car, if she had been back there she would not have survived most likely. I looked at the young girl and asked, “What’s your name?” She smiled at me and said, “Lisa.”

This story is adapted from one I read in Guidepost Magazine while in Chicago on my stay.  A miraculous true tail from a woman about listening to spirit and praying with faith. Now you may be wondering why a tantrika is writing about praying and faith and what do they have in common with tantric practices or what I teach. Prayer is one of the most powerful forces we have. It is a direct link to the Divine and it should NEVER be taken lightly. Moments as the above show us that we all have power to manifest a better life scenario for ourselves and for those around us. It is in the power of our thinking that we create our world and to believe that our thoughts do not affect others is sheer foolishness.  May they be positive (as above) or negative our thoughts go forth into the world and make time and space non relevant. If we are sending out thoughts of hatred, jealousy, judgment, or something else on this line then what we are doing is throwing a large poisonous boulder into the stream of life. The ripples caused by this one forceful thought will expand out and back. You can look at it like a rubber band being pulled on from one point, as the rubber band expands out it touches a great deal of space before it releases and comes back to where it started. But it does not just come back to where it started; it forms a powerful energetic whiplash effect as it crashes back into the starting zone. Often this whiplash is felt energetically long before the rubber band ever is released. This subtle vibration is known as Spanda. When relating Spanda back to our thoughts and feeling a vibration with them you could say that this is your subconscious, the angel on your shoulder that is arguing with the devil on the other shoulder. In other words, it’s that soft voice that tells you that these thoughts are not aligned with your higher self or the universe and that by sending out these thoughts consciously or unconsciously you will experience a whiplash (negative effects, karma).  As will those that you are throwing these stones at.

How is it possible that others can be affected by our negative thoughts? The universe does not pay attention to what we want or what we don’t want, what the universe hears is what we attach the most emotion too. When we have great rage toward someone, our mental, physical and emotional bodies feel it. Our Spirit sits by and tries to guide our reactions away from anger and suffering motives and toward love and light. But often we find ourselves thriving on the short circuit of energy that is caused through the lower grade ego based emotions. After all it is how we have been programmed since we were small children. Because we are all energy vibrations, when we experience great love or hatred, sadness or exhilaration our bio-energetic fields expand out and dance with others. When we become extremely fixated (attached emotionally) to something, most likely a thought that is linked to this emotion, we feed it with more emotion.  Making our vibrational wave even grater and stronger in effect.

“Our thoughts do not come from the brain, just as music does not originate in the circuits of a physical radio. The brain is like an antenna – it picks up a signal and rebroadcasts it into the conscious mind. If we could distinguish thoughts that come from the Light from those that come from the Shadow 9the Opponent), we could reclaim control of our lives.” – The Power of Kabbalah Card Deck

If we are in a negative state of being and attached to thoughts that are supporting this state then what we are doing is acting like ink in a water glass to all those we come in contact with. What do I mean?  Take a glass of clear water then drop one tiny drop of ink into the glass. What happens to the crystal clear water? You can see the ink swirling around in the water; it slowly merges with all the water molecules, causing the once clear water to be tainted. Our energy field can taint or heighted the energy of others around us, and just as with the glass of water, the drop started at the top of the glass but did finally make it to the bottom and at the end penetrated each molecule. This is the same with our thoughts. When we are harsh on another in our thinking we send out darkness. We cloud ourselves instead of bringing light to a situation.  When we stop and pause, listen to our Spirit, to the soft voice of angels, God, our higher self or whatever name you want o put here we come from love and acceptance that everything is as is intended to be. This does not mean that having upset feeling is wrong by any means. Allowing yourself to feel all emotion is healthy and part of our human existence as well as a major part of healing, however attachment to these emotions for long periods of time is destructive.  The beauty of this is that once we understand how powerful our thoughts truly are, we can stop manifesting chaos and suffering and instead manifest a beautiful world. Just as the woman in the story above chose to listen to angelic assistance, the voice of spirit to help assist another so should each of us take a conscious moment in each day to look outward and pray in a positive manifestation for all beings.

Through meditation and prayer we are given the chance to remember and accept who and what we REALLY are! Pray or meditate TODAY to discover your reality and assist in the birthing of The Shift on this planet.