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Randevuing With The Sweetest Parts Of Life – No Matter The Pain they Cause Us.

LATELY I WAS GIFTED THE FREEDOM TO FULLY FEEL BACK INTO ME, BACK INTO WHAT I WANT FOR, CRAVE FOR, DEMAND IN LIFE AND RELATIONSHIP.
I have been sitting with this feeling of peace with elation now for a couple of weeks,
where if you had asked me a few weeks prior what I was feeling I would have shared that I felt like I was on uncertain grounds, a feeling of egg shells and anxiety which is nothing of the sort of person I am or in alignment to the life that I desire.
I knew that things were about to change,
This shift was upon me.
My energy had been quaking for months to be set free.
Transformation was in the cards you could say and I knew that when the momentum was fully upon it that there would be no turning back,
no side stepping out of the way and that my world would forever change.
I felt fear and doubt.
I felt as though I should try and hide,
to shut down this immense urge to just run forward and let gravity take me.
I had been restricting for so long,
putting up walls and barriers as to hold in place the container that I had built.
A beautiful, fun and loving container,
but one that had become harnessing of the energy that was birthing in me.
And so I felt the doubt rise up in me,
I felt afraid to move forward.
I thought that I had it under control…lol
And like every soul who says “I got this,” and turns their back on transformation, God steps in and reminds us that we have so much more to live for, so much more to do and share and that our turn away is unacceptable, for we are his chosen one’s. We are the ones that must feel into our hearts and face the fears, expand our vessels and step forward in faith, in truth and with our core desires.
And here I am…
A few weeks later after yet another beautiful upheaval of revealing truth, authenticity and power.
Leaning into the new territory which bears with it an awakening of my past revelations of self that I had closed myself off too.
All my excuses, all my denials, all my “hope that things could be or would be,” –GONE!
Replaced with peace,
replaced with elation,
replaced with love, true love and allowance of the self.
Replaced with desire.
Replaced with direction.
And guess what…
a feeling of ease and flow,
the realization that all that other stuff that I had been doing for the last little bit of my life was me trying to make something happen,
trying to fit in a container that did not fit me,
trying to push things to my will,
or sacrifice myself despite my core.
No f-cking big shocker there as to why there was anxiety, constraint and egg shells.
No wonder I was not expanding, stretching and feeling fully seen or accepted.
I had settled in certain ways for something less of myself then what and who I am.
The revelation that when we are in alignment to soul and God that our worlds just collide with exactly what we need and desire,
that things manifest with ease and f-cking speed.
It is us that slows it down.
Through our fear.
Through our attempts to control it and make it fit prettily in a box that is not even our own.
And then God comes through with a clean up crew,
he strikes us down so it often appears so that we can rise stronger,
more certain and knowing in who we are.
And our rise stems from how we choose to handle the strike down.
It is here in the randevu with something that is less than wonderful appearing, that we discover the sweetest of gifts that life has to offer us.
Because it is here that we experience expansion.
So it always comes down to how we take the sweetness of all of it and not freak the f-ck out in what could feel terrifying, scary, painful and not what we had necessarily wanted for.
You see it is the freaking out in these soul appointments with expansion that feel like the absence of something that we want for that can hold us in a setback. That can lock us into a wound and keep our pain anchored and us unable to move forward and breathe into the gift that is being offered.
Our capacity to randevu with the sweetest parts of life is immense,
but we have to be willing to let go of the things that we hold onto out of fear that we will receive no more than just that.
And here my dear reader is where I find myself the last two plus weeks of my world.
Breathing into this space,
receiving in truth every f-cking thing that my heart has wanted for for some time,
stepping back into what I know is true and my core,
asking for life to give me my desires and being willing to see them manifest before my eyes in ease and with great speed,
putting down the “what if splat scenarios” and just leaning into it.
Showing up in all areas,
my business…
my health…
my family…
my relationships….
my sex and love…
in FAITH.
And actually more than faith….
CERTAINTY that as long as I stay true to my core,
and aligned to my heart which is my communication source to my soul and thus to God,
that everything,
every aspect of life is perfect and sweet.
And that the sweetest moments are here before me just awaiting my sipping of them.
I bring this 6-AM revelation to you now.
I bring to you the possibility that what you have been feeling to push on, to make happen, to direct and do the work around is actually the reason that you are still locked down where you are at.
I bring to you the concept that sometimes it’s in the letting go,
truly letting go and letting yourself fall so that you can rise again renewed that is the things we must do to have the life that we want for.
I speak to you the idea,
that maybe, just maybe everything is perfect. Even though you are scared, feeling lost, in pain, sitting in suffering that it is just what you need to become exactly who you were meant to be,
and that your power is just there under the surface of that dynamic beautiful person that you are.
Perhaps it is time that you allow yourself opportunities to be, have and do what your soul craves for.
Perhaps it is time to give yourself permission, love to know yourself and love yourself fully.
So that forever more you will be able to lean into the gravity that calls you forward and not fear the surrender but welcome the lifting.
In deep love for you today,
during our worlds topsy turvy energies and changes,
I share this little tale and pray that you take a moment in your busy day to be with the most important person in your world and ask yourself, “Who am I truly? and what do a want for sincerely?”
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
— Ready to get started on 2021 before it takes you by storm like 2020? Let’s get you moving today toward your F-ck Yes! Life and enjoying all the sweetest randevu that life has to offer you on your journey. Message me today for opportunities to say YES to YOU Now!
 
Photo Credit to my amazing photographer Rebekah Lynn DandelionImages
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The Story You Need To Tell Yourself Daily.

I am worthy!

The story of today that I choose to focus on and expand in.

 

I am worthy!

It often feels like a lie to write those words and there is resistance in my claiming of them.

 

I am worthy!

At writing them my gut turns over,

I feel butterflies and my heart feels constricted.

 

I am worthy!

I can hear the yelling in my head that it is not so.

Who am I to try and claim such nonsense.

 

I am worthy!

My eyes tear up as I write the statement more and more.

I feel the emotion attached.

 

I am worthy!

Breathing deep, allowing my chest to expand,

my heart says allow,

my mind screams in opposition.

 

I am worthy!

The struggle is real.

And I am at war within myself.

It’s crazy to listen to the clambering of my negativity.

 

I am worthy!

The seed has been planted.

Its taking root,

perhaps a sprout will appear.

There is hope.

 

I am worthy!

Anxiety in the possibility.

I can feel a tug at my core pulling me to something.

Something I want to label the truth,

but scares me still.

 

I am worthy!

I breathe deep again.

Feeling my body rise and fall.

The tears are there,

but now I feel a gentle comfort as though I am being held by something I cannot see.

 

I am worthy!

I want to be.

And so we have the breaking of the soil and a sprout.

 

I am worthy!

Looking around,

I see my material world,

my home that I love and maintain with ease,

my car that I am grateful for,

a house full of comforts, luxuries and food.

All that seems stable,

and constant in my life experience.

I do not struggle.

I move with ease.

Life always is providing for me.

There is proof around every corner.

 

I am worthy!

Perhaps I already know it is true?

Perhaps, I have known forever even.

Perhaps under all the chaos and noise of outside influences,

of fear and judgement,

there is a knowing.

Can it be true?

 

I am worthy!

Of course I am.

Just look and feel.

Breathe deeper and let the body speak,

move past the reservation,

the constriction,

and feel the heart.

The soul.

There is a budding there.

There is truth.

God does not give to us a desire that cannot be.

And what we desire is already granted,

we must just believe to receive.

 

I am worthy!

And so are you.

 

Say it with me this morning…..

 

I AM WORTHY!

I AM WORTHY!

I AM WORTHY!

 

YES YOU ARE.

 

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

 

It is time that you say YES to you.

 

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

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When My Dreams Show Up To Quickly – I Get Scared!

How dare you give me what I want so quickly!
 
There has got to be some sorta catch if what I want is just showing up without me having to earn it.
 
I mean how is it possible that I speak about something and then not days later it reveals itself in my life?
 
I know that it is possible but it just does not feel right.
I truly believe that I need to work for this or its not real,
I will loose it for sure.
I am really afraid of saying YES…
What if I say yes and it all goes wrong?
What if I say YES and it’s the wrong choice to make?
 
I think I am better off just saying NO.
Even though I really want it,
and its wonderful that it has shown up like this so quickly,
I think I am going to have to pass.
 
It’s just not for me,
right now.
 
Thinking about saying YES to this has my stomach in knots.
There is just something off about it.
I know that this is not right for me,
because I can feel it in my gut.
 
When something shows up like this and it’s too good to be true,
well life has taught me that it most likely is,
so I don’t want to feel those pains again.
I am a NO.
 
I just don’t have the time right now to take this by the horns and do what I want with it.
So I think I will have to pass.
 
These and so many more EXCUSES are what we speak out loud or in our own heads to ourselves when we allow fear of stepping forward into our dreams to control us.
 
Don’t you get it luv?
That uneasy feeling that you got in your gut,
that’s not always your gut telling you that its a bad choice or that something is going to go wrong,
that uncertainty and anxiousness that you have is not always telling you that you are a no, or that it is a no for you.
That feeling of overwhelm or disbelief,
those feelings of I have been stun before and so I am not going to have it happen here,
this can all be signs that you need to step away from something,
YES.
 
They can be signs that you are a NO.
 
OR….
 
if you dig a little deeper,
can be signs that FEAR has you by the balls and if you let it run you will steal your dreams from you.
 
How can you know the difference?
How can you be certain that if you take that leap that you will be safe and that it will not be a wrong move in your life?
 
Number one,
you may never be certain that its right.
Number two,
you could make the wrong move.
 
But what I can promise you is that if you keep letting yourself be a NO to things that you will never gain the life that you want.
 
If you keep letting this crazy ass fear of yours run you silly and blind you from the opportunities that knock,
that you are making a wrong choice,
Then you definitely have something to fear.
because you are choosing to not live,
to not expand,
to not experience.
 
Well not experience anything but FEAR.
 
And if fear floats your boat baby,
well then have at it.
But if you hungry and wanting for more,
then maybe its time that you start to say YES.
 
Yes to opportunity.
Yes to experiences.
Yes to love, no matter how long it hangs out.
Yes to joy, play, laughter.
Yes to trusting that God has your back baby.
 
Because God does.
And your SOUL knows this.
 
Those feeling of not feeling right,
are VERY right.
They are telling you that your SOUL knows differently about something then what you think you know.
 
Your SOUL is 100 steps down the path before and has been through all that stuff and knows the steps that you need to take to get the the life that you want,
the quickest,
the smoothest,
and in flow.
 
But baby,
when you question why your dreams are just showing up in ease and with speed,
when you sit back and look for the gotcha in your goals,
realize that you are now questioning the power of God’s hand in creating.
 
You think that God has some timeline that he is following?
You think that if our creator wants to create something that it cannot just happen with a swipe of a hand.
 
You are the co-creator of your life and you are moving with speed because you are partnered up with the most powerful, potent force out there.
 
And God/Universe is all about speed.
 
You may not think it possible.
You may think that you gotta earn this shiz,
become worthy of it by serving your time and paying your dues.
 
Buy baby,
that’s all human made beliefs that are locking down the creative time and force that God has given you.
 
So stop the crazy ideas of questioning everything.
Stop the distrust of listening in past the fear.
Quit numbing yourself to your power by fidgeting around with such doubt.
 
Baby you got this.
But you gotta believe that you got this.
You gotta understand your power.
And CLAIM IT TODAY.
 
Say YES!
 
And As Always, Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want some extra support in co-creating your masterpiece?
That where God moves through me,
helping people like you who get that they are worthy AF and want to be conscious co-creators with God in the painting of a beautiful life but are still uncertain as to how to fully tap in and surrender that that they feel at their core.
 
Yes here is where I assist YOU.
Want to connect and say YES to YOU?
Let’s go! – You are worthy.
Message me for deet’s.
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Life, Death and Authentically Being You.

Life, Death and Being Authentically YOU.
 
The last two weeks of my life have been a roller coaster of life changes. Some have a direct impact on my world, some not so much but do because they effect my children or my extended family.
 
Two weeks ago my eldest daughter gave birth to her little boy.
 
Last week, my youngest two son’s grandfather passed away.
 
And today,
Today I sit and desire nothing more than to just continue being authentically me.
 
I look at the changes, the life, the death and I know it is all beautiful. But there is this sense that I get that I am expected to be more emotional about things then what I really am. As though I am not putting on a grand enough show for my world.
 
Silly as that may sound, it does come in to me from outside sources and these little obnoxious voices that sound off in my head here and there that want me to focus on things that really have no significant impact on my life joy or happiness or fear for that matter.
 
Since the birth of my grandson two weeks ago I have been hit with the question, ” How does it feel to be old enough to be a grandma?”
 
And “Wow! Top of the totem pole. Enjoy him while you have the energy.”
 
It is like because I am a grandmother now,
even though there is the blessing of this sweet baby in my life that society believes that life is all down hill when this milestone happens. That you are almost around the corner from the grave.
 
And then,
last week my kids grandfather passes away unexpectedly from heart failure.
 
The thing society worries about.
DEATH.
Croaking.
 
And as a grandparent one must add this fear to the daily worry list I assume….
 
I think NOT!
 
But if we did not fear death enough as it is,
such events as a birth and then a death can bounce it around a tad more than normal.
 
It is my opinion that the reason we fear death so much is because we do not believe in who we really are. We give lip service to this thing called SOUL or SPIRIT and to the desire to believe in something greater than ourselves such as source, divine or God. But when we really get into it,
when we are faced with it, we question our belief and we find ourselves in a negative vibe of “hope.”
 
Now many believe that hope is a positive.
I not so much so.
 
To me hope is a negative word,
with negative energy attachments.
It is disempowering.
 
Just feel these statement-
 
” I hope I get a new job.”
” I hope I overcome this illness.”
” I hope she graduates school.”
“I hope nothing bad has happened.”
 
verses
 
“I know that the perfect job for me is around the corner.”
“I know I just need to support my body and take some time for me.”
“I know she is working hard to achieve her goals.”
“I know that things always work out for everyone’s highest and best good.”
 
Which side of the fence feels better to you?
Which side feels stronger?
More powerful?
More like it is focusing good vibes toward something vs. negative vibes?
 
 
We do this in so many ways.
Bring ourselves down.
Bring others down ( often without realizing the power of our words)
and focusing in on the negative all the while BELIEVING we are giving our best wishes or highest vibrational thoughts and focus.
 
But it ain’t true.
 
If we really believed we had a SOUL.
If we really believed that there was a God or something greater than self and it has a plan,
then we would only desire to live our life to the fullest and that has nothing to do with living in fear of death.
 
Fearing death disables us from being present in our life.
It has us act from a place of scarcity.
A place of disembodiment.
We tap out and try and hide from life.
All in the pursuit to live longer.
To not feel pain.
To not suffer.
To not have bad things happen.
 
But this is sheer craziness.
These suppose bad things are here to help us clarify what we want in life and from life.
 
These “bad” things help us discover who we are, want to be and they are blessings.
 
Not all blessings come in pretty little boxes.
Not all are sweet and sugar topped.
 
Without the contrast we never truly authentically get a chance to meet who we are.
 
Avoiding the contrast is for the weak.
It is for those who believe that they can somehow outsmart death.
They think that death is an ending.
When what if….
Croaking just was another step on our life path for our soul?
 
But hoping for survival in our current state of experience is silly.
What one can do,
is COMMIT to LIVING presently.
To loving this moment.
To expanding into their fullest potential and giving this amazing world their VERY BEST.
 
You will never achieve that,
living in FEAR.
You will never have that presence if you are trying to avoid death.
But you will miss out on all your BLESSINGS.
No matter how you perceive them.
 
And the even worse part is that you will never taste the raptures of your AUTHENTIC SELF.
 
You are beautiful.
You are powerful.
You are amazing.
You have so much to give this world.
 
Don’t let fear and worry of what you cannot avoid,
what you have no control over hide your light any longer love.
 
It is time for you to step up.
Claim Your Life.
And Stop Existing & Start Living
 
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Are you ready to commit to your SOUL?
Desiring something more in your life?
 
If you are someone who looks in the mirror every day and knows that you have so much more to offer this world, but feels stuck in how to go about revealing it, then perhaps we should speak.
 
If you feel a call in your gut and you know you need to just get the tools and find the support to step the eff up in your life once and for all and let your light shine in…
relationship.
work.
purpose.
 
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What is Your Desire?

desirebanner

“I want for nothing. I desire everything.” – Kendal Williams

The other day I was listening to Alexander Brighton speaking during a coaching circle and he was sharing the concept of living in a state of gratitude while remaining hungry for life. This is exactly the high ground of manifestation that we need to come from but we are taught in this life that you must always want more and never be content with where you are. Now I can feel a bunch of people saying, “No, your wrong Kendal, we are not taught this. I was not taught this. I do not teach my children this.” But we are and we do. If it were not the case and we were all living from a state of gratitude and still full of desire then we would not see the rapid onslaught of people self medicating, taking multiple anti-depressants, hiding in video games or TV show’s or walking through their days looking like zombies. Instead we would all be welcoming the start of a new day, we would hungrily charge forth into our activities and rejoice for all the blessing that we have and all those that are still coming to us. We would REALIZE our true divinity and power and accept with a smile the fact that we are creating our reality each moment. We would be teaching our children these universal truths instead of telling them to just get a degree for a white collar job (that may not even be around when they graduate) so that they can pay the bills and survive.

How many times this last month did you feel like you were JUST surviving?

Being a survivor says that you are yes getting by, but not living to your full life capacity. Your not being challenged by life. Your not even really wanting the challenge and your shut down to your bliss. Survival in any form is about suppressing your true authentic divine self. It is about wearing the armor that you feel you need to protect yourself from life’s pains instead of allowing for the full flow of life to carry you into greatness. Surviving is the opposite of living.

If we actually believed that living from a grateful heart was one of the main key points to having and creating a life that we wanted then wouldn’t you think we would do just that. Be grateful. We do “tell” our children to be grateful for the food on the table, the roof over their head, clothes on their backs, etc. But are we modeling this gratitude?

As we “tell” our children to be grateful we also say to them, “be happy with what you have and STOP wanting,” yet we constantly exhibit in our own actions the reverse. We are not completely wrong in this attitude. If we could just get down the gratitude and change the unhappy wanting (unhappy wanting is wanting with the belief that we cannot have, or should not have/want, believing that we are not good enough to be/do/have, belief that things have always been one way and therefore cannot be another, etc.) to desire.

Desire is not about “hoping” that something will happen, it is not even dreaming about something, it is about going deeper to a soul level where we connect to the Source (god, the light, the creator, etc.) and feeling at our core what our life is to be like. What our soul KNOW’S we can achieve and should have. Desire is about living fully and every desire that we have is there to awaken us to what our potential is in this life. When we focus on these soul desires we start to attract to us the people and situations needed to help them materialize. The more we release our old programming (beliefs, thoughts and feelings) toward these desires the quicker we pull them into our life.

Allowing ourselves to experience more bliss in our day to day life instead of focusing on what we do not have and living in a state of scarcity helps put us into the vortex of abundance. There are many ways to get into this state of being:

  • Treat yourself to small luxuries each week
  • Stop announcing that you are broke. Instead say nothing.
  • When you find a penny or a dollar, say aloud, ” I am a money magnet.”
  • Smile often.
  • Except the kindness of a stranger, friend, lover or other.
  • Do not jump out of bed in the morning, instead breathe and paint a picture in your head of how you want your day to go.
  • Eliminate these words from your vocabulary: hope, I wish, fine, broke, I don’t have…, I can’t, luck, and if.
  • Flirt often and LOT’s.
  • Do one thing each week that scares you in a good way.
  • Have more orgasms. (to obtain optimal joy the suggested amount of orgasms to have in a week is at least 3, one a day is best.)
  • Tell yourself that you love yourself.

And BE in GRATITUDE for and with each breath.

–KW