Hope & Commitment: PRICELESS

Average cost of a divorce: $15,000 to $30,000

Average child support payment for one child: $430

Average alimony support percentage of highest earning spouse: 30% of income for up to 50% of time of marriage

Saving your relationship and working through your shit: PRICELESS

Remember the old commercial?
Well I sure do.

And this topic is near and dear to me in recent times.
But more importantly,
It is a possible reality to many of my couples clients.
Or potential couples clients.

The sad truth is that quiet often people go looking for help.
They sit in my office,
Wrenching their hands together,
Butterflies in their stomach,
Wanting to be heard.
To be understood.
And to be given hope.

They look at their spouse,
And they hope that they too have a sincere desire to heal the wounds of years gone by.
They hope that their partner is feeling at ease and will be open to the possibilities of getting help.

Often, tears are shed in my office by one or both parties as they recognize the pain,
They see the situation of their marriage clearer,
And they feel the tingle of hope spreading its wings inside them.

There they sit.
HOPEFUL.

They share intimacies within this safe container,
Baring their truths of bitterness, of loss of desire, of financial pains, of feeling left behind and under appreciated.

They share their sins.
From adultery to drug usage to porn and anger.

They share their longing.
Their longing to reconnect.
To heal.
To love and be loved.

And so they walk away from me,
Feeling lighter.
Feeling connection and understanding.
Feeling non-judgment.
Feeling as if they can recover.
They feel HOPE.

And then….
It is inevitable my follow up email with all my recommendations and observations comes into their inbox.
It asks them for their,
COMMITMENT.

Many stand up to the plate.
But many steer away in fear.

They lean on objections.
From price to time.
They say they need to wait.
They say they think they can do it on their own.
They say this
And they say that.

But none of it matters.
They CHOOSE to not commit
And thus they choose to remain in their suffering and in the harsh reality that separation most likely will knock soon at their door.

But they feel like they cannot change the outcome.
Because it just is.
So they settle into victim mode.
And they loose HOPE.

How much does it cost to sacrifice your HOPE?
How much is it worth to step into COMMITMENT ?

It is priceless.
Thats what it is.
On both sides it is PRICELESS.

The only question
I ask these souls who choose to say goodbye is,
Are you happy?

At the end of any decision.
You must ask yourself.
Are you happy?

Here you will learn your truth.
Here you will learn about your fear.
Your regrets.
Your desires.
And if you made the right choice.

No one can answer this for any of us.
It is between us and soul.

And it is PRICELESS.

As always,
Stop Existing and Start Living

Now accepting 1+1 Couples Coaching Clients.
No matter where you are in this big world you can get the private coaching to recover the intimacy and connection you desire in your marriage.
Explore Passion Coaching for Couples today.

You were born to fish.

Somethings just feels wrong.

 
Don’t they?
 
In life we come up on these points in our live’s where we REALLY want something and it is stripped away, right in what seem’s like the most beautiful part of the experience.
 
You know what I am talking about.
It is the moments that make a significant impact on your heart,
on the course of your life even.
 
It is the moments that break you down to nothing,
leaving you fully exposed and raw.
 
It is the moments where you feel lost without hope,
searching for any little crumb of hope to keep you going.
 
Yes these moments.
 
These moments that you wonder why.
These moments that tear you apart and make you weep for all that is lost, all that will never be experienced, all the dreams that will never come to pass…
 
These are game changing moments of the soul.
 
And on the front side of these moments,
and through the healing process of them,
they feel effing wrong.
 
They feel as though they should not be happening.
That God got it all wrong on this one.
We find ourselves in these moments questioning our hearts, our intuition, our thoughts, our faith, our everything.
 
And the only logical answer yet illogical in the same is that
“I must not deserve this thing I have lost.”
“I must have screwed up and did something wrong.”
“I must have not been good enough.”
 
And so we sit an torture ourselves about how bad a person we are.
 
We come up with lists of things that we need to change,
promises to ourselves about how we will never allow this or that to happen to us again,
we confirm to ourselves that the only safe thing is to shut down.
 
And so we shutdown to love.
And it feels all wrong.
 
The universe is a funny place,
where when these occurrences happen,
we find ourselves haunted by the what if’s, the could have been’s, the dreams and desires that we once had and that still reside inside us deep down.
 
They haunt us like the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future.
 
They haunt us and share with us the things that we still desire.
That our heart cries out for.
That is not.
That cannot be in current.
 
And it feels all wrong.
 
But what if…
WHAT IF?
 
These haunting’s were actually signs from our soul.
Revealing to us that the desires that we had are still there and a possibility,
 
perhaps not in the fashion we had originally intended,
but that they are there and they are ours to manifest.
 
These THINGS that our hearts crave,
that our soul has set it’s eye on,
that God has in store for us.
 
These THINGS.
These BLESSINGS.
 
And the reason that they did not happen the way that we had originally planned was because those events, those people, those things were not in alignment to our highest and best life experience.
 
We had to grow!
Not do something to become worthy.
Not become a better person.
 
No.
We had to grow into the person that could hold those blessings,
 
and share of them the way that God intends for each of us to share.
 
It comes down to the wise statement from Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu, founder of Taoism
“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime”
 
 
If we had continued to be given the blessings freely as we were living them, then we never would have learned how to handle them properly or gain them in faith and surrender.
 
We would never have expanded our souls ability to receive the beauty of all that is offered to us in this life.
 
No one took anything away from us.
This is the truth.
What you may feel you have lost.
Is not gone.
 
You tasted of its sweetness and now you must go and earn it.
You must go and learn how to fish.
 
In the learning,
you will expand yourself to capacities you can not currently imagine.
 
You will grow.
You will once again gain,
your hearts desires.
Your souls cravings.
 
They are all there waiting for you.
But first you must fish.
 
The lessons of fishing, will lead you to the life that you desire.
You were born worthy of this life.
You must though build your being strong enough to carry all the blessing that is awaiting you.
 

And it feels right.

You were born to fish.

 

As always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

Join me in October for 5 weeks of transformation,
where YOU Claim Your LIFE in 2018 Once and For All.
Message me for details….
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