When do I get my pump, pump, oooh, goo? by Scott B.

bodygoodRecently I came across a post in a discussion group by a male who was expressing confusion and frustration on focusing on his pleasure.    His question was also how to focus on his pleasure and hers at the same time     There are many different ways that this can be answered.    What I believe the core of the problem to be is more widespread than just the pleasure question.

In my experience there is a belief, by males, that there is no difference between orgasm and climax.    This is not true, we are never taught the difference, because talking about sex is considered taboo.    So let’s strip away the taboo and deal with the concept of orgasm does not equal ejaculation.   You can experience orgasm without climax, you can experience climax without orgasm.  In my mind and experience the former is preferable.   If a man can learn to move the sexual energy that gets built up in the genital region before climax he can get to the point of experiencing multiple orgasms without approaching ejaculation.    Most guys spill over the edge of climax for several reasons.

The first and most important reason is lack of being in the moment and experiencing the pleasure of the intimate act with the partner.    I would hazard a guess that most guys are already focused on “getting some” before the act is even certain and with ejaculation being the end goal.

ejaculation (1)To experience complete pleasure requires retraining the body and the mind to experience the depth and nuances of pleasure without focusing on the end goal of e ejaculation    David Deida refers to this kind of friction sex as “pump, pump ooooh, goo”     Once you have retrained the body and the mind not to see ejaculation/climax as the goal of sex you can start to learn new patterns and your body will let you know when releasing energy via ejaculation is necessary.

There is no clean cut answer on how often a male should ejaculate as each body is different and will require different levels of energy retention and recycling.  It will also depend on environmental factors, age, weight, diet, & general level of health.     When ejaculation becomes a conscious choice instead of an expectation the true experience of pleasure can begin to be understood and felt.

It is important to keep in mind we can’t unlearn the patterns that we’ve built up over our lifetimes to this point.   We did not learn how to walk, talk, ride a bike in a day.   This is no different.   It is a process of learning your body and how to open up to the sensations of pleasure.   As they stated in a class that I recently took.  When we learn to expand the container of the experience the more you can fit into that container.   This includes sensations, thoughts, perceptions etc.

Like with anything else this will take conscious effort and practice.

You might have noticed that I have not mentioned to this point focusing on the woman’s pleasure.   The reason for that is I don’t believe the posters confusion or frustration is centered anywhere other than himself.    While it may be seen as chivalrous or forward thinking to focus solely on the woman’s pleasure first, by that very act you take away from the pleasure of the experience for both partners.   So I am going to suggest that before any man asks the question of how to pleasure a woman, they first ask the question of accepting pleasure within themselves and what the intent they are taking into the experience is.    Is it to share a beautiful moment of intimacy and deep connection with another human being, or are you focused on your climax?

ORIGINAL ARTICLE published on Authentic Living.com

Put the Thanks Back in Thanksgiving

In the United States, fall marks a trifecta of holidays that snowball, picking up speed as they carry us,—often chaotically—from October through the New Year. The party starts with the distinctly non-religious (some would say pagan) celebration of Halloween; progresses to the spiritually inclusive embracing of gratitude that is Thanksgiving; and culminates in various religious observances ranging from Christmas to Hanukkah to Kwanza. Sadly, long before we reach Thanksgiving Day, we are already being bombarded with commercial messages regarding the season to come, and a true sense of gratitude gets lost in the shuffle.

So how do we avoid succumbing to this all-pervasive seasonal commercialism? Here are some ideas for putting the thanks back in your family’s Thanksgiving celebration this year:

GIVE THANKS

It sounds obvious. Too simple. But to cultivate a sense of gratitude, we must actually take time at our meal to give thanks. A pre-meal blessing is a good start, but why not take it a step further and have everyone around your Thanksgiving table share a blessing they are particularly grateful for this year? If your crowd needs some prompting, pass a basket filled with slips of paper that ask each person to recall either a friend, a family member, a place, an opportunity, a trip, a meal, a relationship, etc. that has brought them joy during the past year. This little nudge may get the gratitude ball rolling, and before you know it your gathering will be filled with the real spirit of Thanksgiving.

ONE HOLIDAY AT A TIME

Don’t short circuit the attitude of gratitude you cultivate on Thanksgiving Day by diving into preparations for the next holiday right away. Give yourself some breathing room. Be mindful about moving from one holiday to the next and about creating space between the two. Holiday magic is lost if we are in perpetual celebratory mode from October through the New Year. The deeper significance of each commemoration is sublimated if they are dragged out and run together. So instead of obsessing about what picture to put on your Christmas card the minute the turkey leftovers are in the fridge, try staying in the Thanksgiving spirit at least through the entire day. A post-meal walk with family and friends is a great way to revel in the beautiful fall weather and work off some of that delicious meal you all enjoyed.

BOYCOTT BLACK FRIDAY

And when you wake up the next morning, commit to boycotting Black Friday. One concrete way to establish a boundary between Thanksgiving and your next holiday celebration (Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, etc.) is to eschew this retail-centric tradition. That’s right. No matter how tempting the sales. How amazing the deals. Make a pact with yourself (and family and friends if they are on a similar path) to stay home the day after Thanksgiving. Remember those blessings you talked about around the table the day before. Build a fire. Play board games. Watch football. Do anything but turn your spiritual celebration into a material quest.

Too often we feel swept up by forces outside ourselves during this busy time of your. Our head is filled with more “must do” items than will fit on a one-page to-do list. In reality, there is very little that we must do to make this season special for ourselves, our friends and our family. By focusing on keeping things simple and taking it slow, we can return to our Thanksgiving roots, established by Native Americans and colonists, of coming together, sharing what we have and giving thanks.

By Monette Chilson READ ORIGINAL POST on Om Times

Balance or Harmony by Alexander Brighton

So many people that I’ve had conversations with have told me that they are seeking balance in their life.    I decided to go look up the word balance on dictionary.com.   It read a state of equilibrium.  Searching further equilibrium means a state of rest due to the equal action of opposing forces.     When you have two or more opposing forces that are exerting equal action you can develop balance.    As we move through our daily lives we have more than 2 opposing forces at any one time.    Rarely do these forces exert equal action or force.     So if you can only have balance with opposing forces exerting equal force then the realization of balance never develops.   

How many times have we been faced with opposing thoughts(forces)?  Here’s an example that we’ve all faced.   I have to go to work, however, I’d much rather stay home and spend time with a loved one.    These are not applying equal action on us.   If the need for money is greater it will exert greater force.     If the need for connection with the loved one is greater than the need  of money then taking the day off would be exerting greater force.   Balance or equilibrium needs opposing forces to be created.    Opposing forces create a duality within us.     That duality rarely ever has equal action on both sides, there for balance is missed and our lives are lopsided.    Like that shopping cart with the one flat spot on the wheel that goes clunk clunk clunk as we walk through the grocery store.

 Whats the alternative then? Harmony.

Again going back to dictionary.com harmony means a consistent, orderly, or pleasing arragment of parts.    When we move away from trying to get opposing forces to exert equal action at the same time, we can start to build harmony in our lives.   Instead of dealing with the duality of opposing forces, build your life so there is agreement with all the different forces in your life.    I will go to work today and then take my loved one out for a nice dinner, or make a nice dinner. Even when something is out of balance it can still be in harmony.    That shopping cart that I mentioned earlier.   If you are out of balance and out of harmony with your life that constant clunk might push you to the point of madness.   

However, if you are out of balance AND in harmony  you might notice that that clunk is in perfect time with the music playing in the store and smile.  Some that I have talked to want to find balance for every aspect of their life.    This is mostly impossible.    Just take gender as an example I hear people all the time state they want to balance their masculine and feminine energy.   These are opposing forms of energy.  Very complementary but opposite.   Whether  you are male or female you have both energies within you.    However they are rarely ever to the point that they are applying or exerting equal action in your life so then how can you balance them.    Working to get the masculine and feminine to be in harmony though, that’s beautiful.   They no longer have to be exerting equal action.   You could be 75% feminine and 25% masculine and still be in harmony.    The energies working in harmony to create the consistent, orderly, or pleasing arrangement of parts or energies in this case.  You give up the battle of duality of trying to be 50% feminine and 50% masculine.   

As you start to apply the harmony principle to your life you will start to find that things may come into balance naturally.   Harmony allows us to take a step back from the constant battle of duality.    It allows us to build ONE life that flows by taking these forces and into a simultaneous combination.    Where each force becomes a note on the music of your life.     A piece of music that you are the author of.  

What do you want the music of your life to sound like?

Ecstatic Alchemy

Discover Your Inner Magic

Our lives are based on physical laws. When we let go of an apple in mid air it will fall to the earth. This is gravity. Years pass and our flesh reveals the time it has spent here on this beautiful planet. Our blood flows through veins and if we consume too much of the wrong foods then it cannot flow properly and will cause us numerous health issues.  These are all basic, common and sound physical events that happen to our human bodies.

From a higher level, from our soul level, ALL is possible though. From here we can manifest good health, harmonic relationships, success in all areas that we long for. And it is from this higher self that we can become an Alchemist. Through our breaking free of the boundaries of our brothers and sisters, un-locking the chains of our life programming and through not belief, but certainty in our Divinity (that we are children of God, created in the image and with the same longing to share and create) we can then walk the spiritual path of the wizard.

Throughout time witches have been believed in. During the Middle Ages any woman who had her own thoughts and practiced a life of living off the earth, using herbal remedies and understood certain physical laws and ancient rituals was most likely condemned for being a witch. Yet the ancient civilizations where all our base religions come from all had “medicine men/women” “Priestesses” and “Wise women/men” to name just a few. AKA Witches.

Now I am not suggesting that we all submerge ourselves into the Craft here and take up Wicca, however there are many wonderful sacred rituals and healing remedies found on this path. What I am suggesting we all do is become our own alchemist. Learn to create the life we want.  As James Arthur Ray says it,All goals are spiritual goals, including abundant material wealth and mind-blowing sex.”

Tantra is a most perfect place to start with these spiritual goals! Our sexual energy can be cultivated to not only help but TRANSFORM our lives. When we have learned how to honor, and unconditionally love another, when we have worked through levels of blockages and have allowed our lover to see us, beautiful, open and vulnerable just the way God see’s us then we can step forth and channel our intense sexual feelings into manifesting a lifestyle and life goals that we mutually want and envision. In order to achieve this however we must first open ourselves to healing. In healing there are no promises, there is no room for expectations or controls. When we decide that we are tired of living a life dictated by everyone else and our ego (which normally rules us through fear and doubt) then we can open the window to some fresh air and discover our selves. Under the veils of pain, discomfort, fear, doubt, regret and loneliness lye a life worth living. Not surviving, but Ecstatically Living! Yes, you have to believe that YOU deserve it. You have to FORGIVE yourself. You have done nothing wrong. You have only been the puppet with your ego being the puppeteer. You are human. We all have these shackles and they are only shackles if we see them as such. As John Milton said, “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” Here is where so many of us reside. We can have so many blissful things in our life and yet we focus on the hell that is before our face. We allow our Satan, our ego to rise up and cut our beautiful legs out from underneath us. Focused on one particular human failure that most likely will be a blessing shortly down the road, we sabotage our dreams. We then become the dark alchemist of our lives. Black magic swirls around us under the label of “bad luck.” Our friends and associates, even family may have sympathy or empathy for what we are going though, they may even lend a helping hand, but it is rare that someone will walk into our lives as we walk this path of the dark night of the soul (which can rise up at any point in our lives and can last what seems like a life time) and say, “You Manifested this Shit! Now it’s time to Transform it.” Yes, I said that. You manifested the shit in your life. The first step to healing is realizing that we manifest ALL the things in our lives. The good, the bad and the ugly. We are the creators of our destinies. If you want to be sitting on a beach in Cancun with the lover of your dreams and money in the bank, good relationships abound and ecstatic adventures galore hen YOU’RE THE ONLY one stopping it from happening.

Now don’t beat yourself up. Remember be gentle with yourself, your only human. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Learn your heart and listen to your soul. That quiet voice, which is your guide.

Abundance Awaits YouOnce you allow yourself healing and acceptance you can then embark on a most divine adventure of a life time. The road of the magician.  This path has many starting points and much scientific, religious support. Many of the greats in our past practiced one form of “magic” or another. From Jesus and Buddha to Einstein and Edison, these men all understood that they had to tap into the 99% reality. The part of our reality that we do not physically see but affects our lives far more than the 1% that we are aware of. This 99% is the matrix. It is the soul level. It is “heaven” where God creates and where we too can play. Dreams, phenomenon’s, spirits and quantum physics all start in the 99%.

In tantra we can learn what is called Sexual Magic. This is where we bring our ecstasy to a powerful point with another and through our lovemaking create magic.  During orgasm, we sometimes see stars, lights, a feeling of being sent into orbit. We touch a place within ourselves that has no boundaries or limitations. We have a feeling of infinite possibilities, a sense of wholeness and joy. Creative power and Divinity. The only issue is that the orgasm does not last very long. And often we start our lovemaking with a sense of non-openness. We are not whole hearted when we engage in the magical act. But once we heal then we can come into this place with a higher energetic level of being and with our partner create a life worth living ecstatically.  This pure, raw sexual energy is alive and creative. It wants to be harvested. It wants to be played with. It is not serious and controlled. It is free!

As we learn to tap into this energy and practice Tantric techniques to help allow longer, full body orgasm along with gaining understanding of the power of our thoughts and that we are all beings of energy then, then we have put on our witches hats and picked up our Merlin wands.

Be the Alchemist of Beauty and Light in your life!

~ Step out of the social currents that normally swirl around
you, causing chaos and disorientation.

~Decide RIGHT NOW to live your life CONSCIOUSLY, Deliberately,
and with a clear intent to manifest what you need and desire.

~Have the courage and determination to know that you are
responsible for your life. Take back the power that you have given to your ego
and others out of the desire to conform, please, or do the “civilized” or “proper”
thing.

~Reserve YOUR Divine spiritual right to use your sexual
energy to transform your life and live as a fully Orgasmic human being.