The Seemingly Meaningless Things.

Today I stayed in my nighty till 1pm.

Why? Because that’s what felt good for this moment.

Seems like a who the eff cares sorta thing, right?

Cuz’ it does not ultimately effect anything.
But that’s not true.

It effects everything.
Because its all about my vibe.
About how I am feeling right now.

The other day I was out at my community pool…
(And f-ck yes! We are happy our community is opening back up.)
And the water 💧 was so freaking cold.
My youngest two kids were yelping for me to get in the water and play and I was really not wanting too.
Willing yes.
But wanting…. not so much 😕.
I did want them to be happy.
I wanted to enjoy a fun moment with them.
But as I ventured into the cold depths of the pool I felt my body tense. My limbs tightened,
My heart  starting beating faster and I found myself holding my breath.

I was now constricting my energy.
I was withholding my truth.
I was locking myself up.
And I felt frustrated that I was in this coldness.
My ego instantly started to play its games with me…

“You need to smile and bear this, don’t let them see your pain, frustration, or lack of wanting to be here.”

“You have to do this.”
“F-ck! This is too cold. Wish they did not want to do this.”

And my emotion to these statements?

Bitterness.
Frustration.
Shut down.

And as I got splashed, and jumped on,
I grew sad because my body was hurting.
And I was feeling trapped.
I was feeling like I had no choice or that if I stated my truth that I would upset my loved ones.

Which was NOT the emotion that I started this afternoon with.
It was however the emotion I was choosing for this moment,
By the actions I was allowing myself to take that I was not a 💯 percent too.
And so….
I also, in this action 🎬 allowed my vibe 😎 to totally be changed.

And if left unacknowledged,
And consistent action to follow where I chose to what perhaps I was willing to do,
But not willing,
Then my mood would stay low vibe.
My emotions would be darker, full of blame,
Irritation, and…
My energy…
It would remain constricted like my body was feeling from the 🥶 cold.
I would remain tense to life.
Tense to my desires.
Tense to those I am around and love.
Tense to my truth.

And then you know what 😳 happens?

I end up magnitizing and manifesting more things into my life that cause me to remain constricted.

More things that I may be WILLING to do…
But am not WANTING to do.

And so instead of living this life the way I enjoy 😉 the most,
Which is in ease and flow,
With tons of laughter, play, connection, joy, love, abundance of good shit…

I would shut it all out.
Granted my little tale to you today is only that…
A tale.
It was a flicker of thought and emotion that went through my being and announced the path that I was potentially stepping on.
But I recognized it.
I saw what those seemingly meaningless thoughts and emotions were saying.

And so I got my booty out of the 🥶 cold.
I went and did what felt good.
Laying in the 🌞 sun.

And my week has been gentle with me.
Full of what I enjoy.

It could have been different.
And often people come to me with a desire to live their f-ck yes life, and they want to know HOW 🤔.

It always comes down to these seemingly meaningless moments.

These thoughts and emotions that are left uncensored,
And how they will lead us astray.

So if my tale speaks to you today.
Here is your HOW.
Here is what you MUST start to realize.
And what is most important.

Do what you enjoy.
Don’t be led astray by what you “think” you need to do to appear a certain way to anyone else,
Or to make someone else happy,
Especially if you are a F-CK NO!

Time to get really baby.
Time to know your truth.
Its with you always,
You just have to listen and act from there.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

Let’s do this thing luv.
You and me.
Stepping into who you really are and claiming your F-ck Yes!Life now.

Message me for deets.

I Am Unavailable for That and You Should Be Too.

Driving to Corpus Christie for Mothers Day weekend and as I sit here a passenger in my own car,
looking out the window at the fields and rolling hills of southern Texas,
cars passing by,
children chit chatting and humming in the back seat,
spouts of laughter with an occasional,
“Stop it! Don’t touch me.”
I realize that I am simply unavailable for not living my life the way I desire.

So much so, that I have created a new belief structure around what is my normal.

Even in the midst of a world pandemic,
My world remains unrocked.
My home is happy, stable and full of life.
There is laughter, joy, deep connection and adventure in each day.
We plan for the day and for our future.
We laugh and delight in the little moments together,
Never allowing space for just existing or getting by.

I was looking through pictures that I have taken over the last 90 days and it shows a life lived.
It shows many lives lived and enjoyed.

And I realize I am not available for just getting by, nor are my children or my man.

No, this idea that our lives must go on hold for a pandemic, for stay at home laws, masks, and at the base of it all for fear,
It does not stand in my life,
In my world or family.
Because at my core I have become unavailable for anything less than what feels good and in my life flow.

It was not always this way though,
Not all that long ago I was still available for chaos, for scarcity and even the belief that I must sacrifice myself to get by.

Before that I believed that life was a struggle,
That money was hard to come by,
That stability was something you long for but would never be,
That marriage, relationship was blah and that was normal,
That sex was non-orgasmic and that what I wanted did not matter. My words were never heard, my heart never felt, and that this was just normal.

I believed that I was an option,
And an option that I could never choose.

I believed that happiness was an option,
And one that I could never choose.

I believed that stability was an option,
And wealth was too,
But I could never choose these options because life was against me.

Life dictated my outcomes,
And it seemed like the harder I tried to achieve them, the more distant they became.

I believed that I had not suffered enough or proven myself enough, to have these luxuries.

And so it was,
Because back then…
I was so very available to all that I did not want.

I was available to making things an option,
And making them an option that I could not choose.

Life experiences and the people in my world supported this belief.

I never had to look far to see the evidence that what I thought was true,
Was.

But today…
Today this belief does not hold water.

Today I know different.
Today the evidence reveals something different,
Because that truth of before changed.

And I was the alchemist who changed it.

I did it by simply becoming unavailable to the things that I did not enjoy or want.

I did it by not making myself,
Or money, or happiness a choice.

They became mandatory.
They became what was natural and normal to my life.

I chose differently.
I went against my grain,
That, that I was taught.

I decided to create my own truth.
Can you believe that?

How ridiculous.
I chose my own truth.
I decided to stop buying into what this world wanted me to believe,
I decided to not let others ideas, beliefs, fears, perceptions define my truth.

And when I took back my truth,
And chose to not make myself or my happiness an option any longer,
My world changed and with it my life experiences that provided me the evidence that I was worthy without sacrificing my soul,
Without the need to suffer.

Yeah crazy I know.
But true.

And the even crazier thing is it truly happened over night almost.
My life results shifted instantly.

So I ask you today,
What are you available too?
And what are you unavailable too?

Perhaps these things need to flip flop so you can start living your truth,
Your happiness.

But what do I know?
It’s just my reality and I believe it could be yours too.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Ready to get your a*s kicked in the direction of your truth? Message me for deets.

What You Want For, Is Already Yours. – Here Is How.

OMFG! Do I ever have the travel bug up my butt!

Here I sit, the sun is out,

it’s freaking beautiful outside,

and my soul,

which likes to hop a plane every 5 weeks or so to go somewhere in our world is stir crazy from just popping around the back yard, a few parks and lakes and hanging with my closests peeps.

 

I am sure you can feel me on this.

I just want my feet in the sand,

or to breathe in the crisp air of the mountains,

or hike through a rainforest.

I don’t need to go popping through a city or even a village and meet new peeps.

I need mother nature,

and I need it outside of my own backyard.

I need to be set free.

 

And I am sure you do too.

 

But you see, freedom is not something that we gain from the outside.

Much like love, compassion, empathy, worthiness, or forgiveness,

freedom does not come from the outside first.

It is a feeling.

Just like all the other feelings I just listed.

 

And if we focus on the feeling,

and we just enjoy it for what it is,

and that is what we want,

then we already have at any given moment what we desire.

 

But we tend to get caught up with saying that we want this feeling…

 

whatever that might be,

or we might even go as far to claim that we already have it,

and say that we are so grateful for it,

but when it comes down to it,

we are looking for the results of something physical to happen to support that feeling that we were playing with.

 

And that’s just the issue.

We play with our feelings.

 

We don’t just have them and enjoy them and let them be the seeds to the life that we want,

we play with them and toss them all about,

then as with anything we are playing with,

we get tired of them,

or we drop them and…. oops, they shatter.

When we drop a feeling we do it by taking our focus off of the enjoyment of the feeling just being with us and start to look for physical evidence of the feeling,

such as the money in the bank,

the lover in our bed,

the return of a healthy body,

etc.

 

And when we do this,

crash… the feel leaves us and we are left with doubt.

We are left with fear.

Because now we fall back into the concept that we have to have this outside “thing” to be the feeling.

And if that “thing” is not there then obviously we cannot be the feeling we want.

 

So we attach our feelings to objects and relationships.

We attach our joy and happiness to these things and we steal our beautiful life from ourselves when we do this.

 

I will not lie,

I want to travel. And I want to get out of dodge quickly,

I am antsy as all heck.

And I will most likely book myself and family a VRBO on the gulf of Mexico sometime in the next two weeks.

Cuz, that’s the way I roll.

But, until that, I am not going to focus on the not happening right now in the physical aspect.

Because the reality is…

 

MY LIFE IS EFFING AMAZING.

and I am free.

 

I am free to think the thoughts that I want.

I am free to think and feel good vibes.

I am free to increase my vibration.

I am free to smile.

I am free to laugh.

I am free to grow.

I am free to enjoy the people that I want to enjoy.

I am free to delight in life.

I am free to share my joy.

I am free to focus my attention to the life that I am calling in and the life expansion that I want for.

I am free….

 

Because I feel free RIGHT NOW.

And it will stay such as long as I keep my focus on feeling it NOW.

 

So luv…

 

IT’S EFFING TIME!

It’s time to cut loose.

It’s time to say lets get a move on.

It’s time to open up and stop feeling so much reservation about everything.

It’s time to know your power.

It’s time to stop being fearful of everything.

It’s time to make some shit happen.

It’s time to call it all in and live it.

 

It’s time.

It’s your time.

 

It’s time to own your freedom.

Own your worthiness.

Own your lovability.

Own your power.

 

 

But you have to be willing to want for it enough to let yourself have it right now,

because THAT is the only way you will ever attract it in physical manifestation.

 

Are you ready to set yourself free?

 

Lets Go.

 

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

 

It is time that you say YES to you.

 

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

You Are Fearing Your Power & It Is Holding Your Life Back.

I told a close friend yesterday that I was scared to put my attention toward what I “thought” I might be wanting right now because I was afraid that I would get it….

 

LMAO.

 

That sounds crazy,

right?

 

Scared to get what I want because I might actually get it.

But it is true.

I am consciously holding back my manifesting right now out of fear of getting it.

 

How can I be certain that I would manifest it even,

you may ask?

 

You see over the last few weeks of staying at home in the midst of our worlds chaos,

I have been working with clients and clients need homework and sometimes I have to go searching in my own personal journals to look up prompts and exercises that moved me through similar situations that they are experiencing.

 

So I have been looking through a bunch of old journalling.

and geeze has it pulled up some emotion and made me aware of my desires and how great a manifestor I really am.

 

I have looked at the last few years of my life and see clearly how I created things to a T.

 

The things I was wanting just 18 months to 3 years ago are here with me now by about 75%.

 

There are still things in the making,

but I can feel them blooming even as I share this tale with you today. And  the universe has brought me multiple messengers in the last few weeks to confirm that you can have EXACTLY what you desire.

 

SO that should be exciting to me,

right?

 

I have so much confirmation of my creative abilities,

I can see my path,

I can even see the gestation time,

and how it came together,

If I get really present in my heart,

I can even tap into my feelings around one thing and I can take notice as to how I was aligned or not,

witnessing the emotion that truly called it into my life experience.

 

And this is wonderful.

This is powerful.

And scary as F-ck!

 

Because now I know.

I know my power.

I thought I knew prior to this my power but now I really know.

And with this knowing comes a desire to make sure that I get it right,

that I don;t f-ck up what I currently have and love by creating something that is not in alignment to my life right now.

 

There is a strange feeling of responsibility around manifesting that has made itself know to me in recent,

where in the past I would have just wrote my dreams and goals down and not looked at the repercussions of what I was saying that I wanted to call into my life picture,

Now I am so in love with my current life that I don’t want to rock the boat in a way that is not needed.

 

But you want to know a secret?

 

Sure you do. 🙂

 

I am WRONG.

I am so wrong for doing this.

I am so wrong for using “responsibility” as an excuse for creating my dream life even more so.

I am wrong for fearing what my soul is calling me toward.

I am wrong for thinking that I can keep everything the way that is currently is,

in all of its glory and somehow create that next level life that I am feeling pulled toward.

 

Now, there is something else that I am wrong about…

I am wrong in thinking that if I apply my intent on what I am wanting for that I have to have chaos or crap hit the fan in my beautiful life picture,

you don’t always have to destroy something to gain something else.

 

We humans have a tough time with this concept,

We do it in so many ways.

We think we cannot build something new while enjoying something of current.

But that is a falsity.

We can have our cake and we can eat it too.

But we have to believe that we can.

We  have to trust in our soul,

in our path,

in God.

 

We have to have faith that we are always moving toward our best life,

and that is the way that life is designed,

to constantly evolve.

To change.

To grow and expand and to never remain the same.

The relationships that we have today are not the same relationships that we will have in a few years,

even if with the same people,

the relationships will change.

Because people are always changing.

Life moves us.

But we feel scared at moving with life.

It is uncertain and we never know what is coming.

We want to know what is ahead of us and we desire to control it someway,

we fear change more than anything,

and it is what we crave the most,

because it is our nature.

It is our nature to always want for something more.

We will never be satisfied.

And this is how we are designed.

But that is a tough thing to embrace because we are taught that we need to just be content with what we get,

what we have and who we are,

that we need to stop trying to gain more of anything.

When the truth is that this desire to have more and this feeling of never being satisfied is what makes us move forward and take action in life is what we are to be following,

because THIS,

This is how our universe expands.

This is how life grows and experiences this physical existence.

 

To fear change,

to fear growth,

to fear our hunger for more,

is silly and immature.

 

We were born to create.

And we were born to follow the call of this wild energy known as soul.

We are here in this life to evolve ourselves,

and evolution means change,

change of who we are,

what our lives look and feel like,

and if we get very real with ourselves,

then we KNOW that we cannot have what we want thinking, acting, speaking, living the way that we are now.

 

The way we are now has gotten us the life that we have RIGHT NOW.

And if we are wanting to have something richer, deeper, more satisfying then the simple truth is that we MUST EVOLVE.

 

We must change.

And so we must allow ourselves to want for that, that we fear.

We must allow ourselves to feel our hungers,

our cravings, and desires for that better life,

and we must allow ourselves to put our hearts toward it,

we must also let go of the reigns on our current and not hinder its ability to adapt and move with us as it needs,

because it is going to change,

it must change,

for us to become more of who we each are.

 

So my message to you today is to breathe into that space of fear of allowing yourself to have what you are being called toward.

 

Breathe into it and face those inner monsters of your ego that are causing separation in who you are and preventing you from fully stepping forward in your power.

 

Because you are worthy beyond reason.

You were born to live the life that you are hungry for.

 

It is time to say yes to you.

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

It is time that you say YES to you.

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

Remember Who You Are.

REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE.
 
Remember.
 
Now more than ever before it is vitally important to this world that you WAKE UP and remember who you are.
 
You are more than your physical body.
There is an inner part of you that has existed long before any of this world was created.
 
And it was from that inner perspective that YOU MADE the decision to become phsyical.
 
Once you became of phsyical existance,
not all of you came into you,
just a part of you,
just a small aspect of you came into existance.
While a much larger aspect of you,
remains in nonphysical.
Remains connected to Source fully.
 
This aspect of you that you are currently identifying with,
it is physically focused,
but it is important to understand that,
YOU…
 
You are not alive or dead.
You are much grander than either of these.
Much older than these and always connected with God.
This aspect of you that you are not fully identified with,
this nonphysical aspect that is not physically focused,
but communicates with you in every moment,
is with you in every moment of your expereince,
it is ALWAYS aware of you,
it is always making sure that you are very well attended too.
 
This aspect of you KNOWS.
It knows who you are.
It does not question your worthiness,
your value,
or if you are too much or not enough.
 
This aspect of you,
sees clearly the path before you,
because it is constantly calling back to you.
Guiding you from its vantage point,
drawing you closer to your desired life.
Gently nudging.
Revealing.
 
Breathing life direction into you.
Asking that you hear its soft voice over the chaotic
banter of the hustle around you in the physical.
 
This nonphysical aspect of you,
is YOU.
 
It is a direct link in consciousness to the God consciousness that resides in us all.
It is the end and the beginning.
It is the all knowing.
It is the alchemist of life,
and the conjurer of all things,
desired.
 
It is YOU.
 
And it is time for you to remember your power.
To call on your highest and grandest aspect,
the aspect that is too great to fit into this physical focused
version of you.
 
It is time for you to realize that,
 
YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL.
 
You were born to have it all.
You were not born to play small.
You not born to suffer.
You were not born to live a life of just paying bills and saying no to THRIVING.
 
F-ck NO!
 
You my beautiful soul,
were born for greatness.
 
And it is time,
RIGHT NOW….
 
For you to fully embody this aspect of YOU.
and Remember that you are a powerful manifestor,
and your have all the skills,
all the worthiness,
all the permission already granted to creat and live the life of your dreams.
 
But you have to WAKE UP.
 
You have to OWN WHO YOU ARE.
You must stop believing this illusion around you.
You must come back to your core,
feel the power that stirs through your veins.
 
AND KNOW.
 
This knowing is a great certainty.
It is an acceptance of your divinity as a child of God.
 
And it is time to OWN THAT.
 
Are You Ready to Say YES to your birth right?
 
The world is depending on you to do so now.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Now accepting applications for 1:1 coaching.
Learn how you can let go of that that causes you stress and fear and truly create the life that youhave always wanted for.
Plus inquire about my group coaching for way to reduce anxiety and stress with a 5 week mastermind on the vagus nerve.
 
Photo Credit to Photographyinwonderland.

I Feel Like My Life Is Full Of Pot Holes. (Relieving Sadness and Other Uncomfortable Emotions)

How do I rationalize my sadness?
I don’t understand why I am feeling the way that I am feeling,
and I cannot seem to escape it.
The more I look for why I am feeling this way,
the more caught up in this negative emotion I get.
I have tried all the appreciation shiz,
I know I have lot’s to be grateful for,
but it’s like it does not matter.
I still feel so empty.
I feel lost,
disappointed in myself.
I am scared of what my future holds.
And if I don’t figure out how to fix these things then I am doomed.
 
I have been here so long,
I don’t even know if I can fathom what happiness is.
 
Anything in these statements align to how you are feeling luv?
 
We all can get caught up in sadness.
For some it is a life long game.
For others we go through periods.
But there are a few things that EVERYONE has in common when we speak SADNESS.
 
Sadness is all about us having a temporary distorted view point on life or a situation.
 
It tell’s us that we are out of alignment with who we really are.
 
And in our need to “fix” the sadness we apply focused concentraion on the cause which in turn only digs us deeper into this pit of dispair.
 
Might seem hopeless if you think too much about it.
How are we to find a solution if we only dig ourselves deeper into it by trying to fix it?
 
If you look at depression,
or sadness,
hoplessness…
what do we do when we expereince these natural emotions that feel uncomfortable to us?
 
We go into problem solving mode.
We now know that there is “something broken” or not right-
typically that something is us so we believe,
and we look for solutions to repair the damage.
So we self medicate,
we get a doctor to confirm to us that we are broken,
we point outword at people and events and blame them for the broken pieces.
And we go into this mode of “IF ONLY.”
 
“IF ONLY” is a void. It is a space of emptiness that we believe needs to be filled by something.
 
“IF ONLY” is a concept that we have no control over our state of being.
 
“IF ONLY” leads us to believe that if things were different that then we would be happy.
 
“IF ONLY” makes us a victim.
And bares with it a feeling of weakness, destitution, and lostness.
 
“IF ONLY” is not the answer!
And bringing our focused attention to the problem,
analyzing every aspect of it ,
and bringing even more light to what is wrong,
will NEVER solve the problem.
It will however make it grow.
It will make it feel like we can’t get out of the muck.
It will appear that our life journey is one full of pot holes and sadness.
And the funny thing is that we forget who is driving our car.
 
YOU ARE DRIVING YOUR CAR.
 
And let’s just simplify this a tad here.
 
If you have ever driven a car down a road that had a bunch of pot holes,
how did you avoid hitting all the pot holes?
How did you limit your exposure to the pot holes?
 
Think about it.
Put yourself behind the wheel luv.
Because THAT is where you are at.
 
I am pretty sure that in order to avoid or limit hitting the pot holes you looked on the path at the spaces that did not have them or had less of them.
And you then guided your car by keeping your focus on the road that had less or no pot holes.
Because you understand that if you drove looking at what you wanted to avoid, that you would stear your vehicle right into the holes.
 
Correct?
 
Well sadness is the pot holes in this analogy.
You could put any feared emotion in it’s place and it would all equate out to the same concept.
 
When we try and fix our sadness by covering it up with different things,
we numb ourselves to the cause as well as the problem.
So we never solve the issue.
It’s kind like thinking that you can avoid the bumpy road by taking one hand and putting it over your eye’s while driving.
If you can’t see the path, pot holes and flat spaces then you will feel safer.
You won’t be scared to face the pot holes.
But you won’t be able to avoid them either.
 
And if you are wondering why sadness seem’s to grab you by your balls out of no where,
the answer is simple.
You are driving with your hand over your eye’s and expecting a clear path because of it.
 
You have not actually dealt with the core issue.
That core issue is always the same,
no matter the subject area of our world that we are sad about.
 
The core issue is that we are NOT in alignment with WHO WE REALLY ARE.
 
WTF! Does that even mean?
 
WHO WE REALLY ARE?
 
I am who I am, right?
Wrong.
 
And this is what sadness is trying to show you.
Sadness is not something to fear,
it is something to be grateful for.
It is a powerful teacher.
 
It show’s you exactly how out of alignment you are from your truth.
 
And your truth,
is the same as my truth,
the same as anyone else’s truth.
 
Your truth is this:
 
YOU ARE WORTHY.
Worthy of love.
Worthy of connection.
Worthy of happiness.
Worthy of well being.
Worthy of abundance.
 
And you don’t have to do or prove anything to be worthy.
You were born worthy.
 
All you have to do,
is have a bit of self-love and compassion.
You do these things by stepping out of the vitctim mode of fear and scarcity.
 
You are sad because you believe you cannot be happy unless you have ______________________ ( fill in the blank.)
 
You believe that in order to have this_____________,
that it must look/act/feel/show up like this ______________________________________________________________.
 
And you are wagering your happiness on it doing as you “think” it should,
instead of allowing it to be however it needs to be.
 
It’s your need to make it happen according to your programmed guidelines supported by your fear based thinking that is manifesting the emotion of sadness.
And you are stuck in this pot hole of sadness because you focused on the pot hole,
instead of what feels better.
 
Abraham Lincoln once said, “People are about as happy as they make thier minds to be.”
 
What he meant by this was that WE GET TO CHOOSE HOW HAPPY WE ARE.
 
And we gain power and a better emotional state of being by thinking bettter thoughts.
 
No one is forcing you to think what you are are thinking.
You get to choose your thoughts.
You get to choose your focus.
And when you run down a rabbit hole of sadness, ‘it’s up to you to catch yourself and shift your thoughts to something that feels better than what you are thinking currently.
 
Just level up your sad thinking to anger thinking.
Your anger thinking to blame thinking.
Your blame thinking to irritation thinking.
And keep moving up to your next best feeling thought.
Before you know it you will discover your true state of being again.
 
That being worthiness and love.
And there is no space in worthiness or love for all this fear based thinking.
 
So what is your next best feeling thought today?
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want tolearn the steps to living a happy, fulfuilled life where you know your worthiness?
 
That is what the F-ck Yes! Life is all about luv.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 coaching and events that can take you through this and help you Claim Your Life TODAY!

The State Of You and Your Business.

Your business.
My business.
God’s business.
 
If we could only keep this in mind in our relationships, work and life expereinces.
Life becomes so much more pleasent and in flow when we live according to this understanding about business.
 
As we start off this new year,
this new decade I am already being faced with so many people coming to me caught up in the nets of anothers business,
or that of God’s.
The desire is to try and to control an outcome of something that makes one feel nervouse or frustrated because it is not happening the way they “think it should go,” but the reality is that 80% of the business happening in our lives in all subject areas, we have zero control over because it is not actually our business but that of another individual or that of God.
 
Now our ego may try and brainwash us into the idea that we can control it,
that our opinion, ideas, judgements and fears mean something in the face of the events happening,
but the reality is the opposite.
 
I use to give way to many f-cks over other people’s business or that of God’s.
I would get my panties in a wad over so many things and find myself sitting in frustration, suffering, fear, worry and exhaustion from it all.
I believed that my state of worry and desire to change things or people was worth something to me,
worth something to others,
to life or the outcome.
 
It took seven children and two ex husbands to teach me otherwise plus a a couple lovers who openned me up to the reality that all I was ever in charge of or had any amount of control over was ME.
 
My business.
 
And what is the “my business” portion of this life?
 
My business is really simple.
And the simplicity is what allows us to let go of all the chains of the need to control.
Keeping it simple is how we access our natural state of flow and well-being.
 
The state of My Business is:
👉Staying present within self and the moment.
👉Recognizing that we are all individuals that have free will and make our own choices.
👉Realizing that your need to control is a fear based reaction.
👉Realize that the ONLY things that you can control are your own thoughts, feelings and actions.
👉Underestand that a request that you make is just that, a request, not a commandment or law.
👉Know that you are the ONLY one that can make YOU happy. Happiness is an inside event first.
👉Know that you are NOT responsible for any other person’s thoughts, feelings or actions on this planet.
👉Know that everything happens for a reason and that even sometimes hardest of events is teaching each player a valuable lesson of their own.
👉Know that God does not expect you to fix it for everyone or have all the answers. Just to look within and know you are worthy of a good life and of love.
 
I still get caught up in the desire to control events and other people’s reactions or actions.
I still get caught up in the concept that I am responsible some how for what another person chooses to do,
as if I forced them into the action or feeling by doing something on my side.
I still fear loosing people in my life by stepping forward and just being me and not getting caught up in their shiz.
I still fear looking aloof,
like I do not care or love because I am choosing to do me instead of getting lost in someone else’s business.
 
But, I am here to share with you on this beautiful January morning in 2020 that all of that and more,
most likely anything that you can come up with for a reason as to how you are ceratin that you CAN ACTUALLY control something or someone,
or that you “should” sit and worry about anothers actions, ideas, etc.
are all in reality based in fear.
Based in your ego.
And are only there not because you care so much about the other or event,
but that at your core you are fearful of what it means to you.
How it will imapct you.
And what you are loosing because of this event or action.
 
It is a YOU based action to worry.
It is a YOU based action to control.
It is a YOU based action to get your panties in a wad over what someone said, did, etc.
 
And all of this is keeping YOU seperated from your happiness.
Seperated from your SOUL truth.
 
How do I know this?
Because worry feels like shit.
 
Because fear is not of our soul or of God.
Because power may feel good in the essence of having it for a moment,
but it bares with it the void of true connection, love and acceptance.
All the things that every human being desires.
 
The Business of YOU need not go any futher than the acceptance of the reality that YOU can only control YOU.
 
And the most loving thing you can do for another,
the most powerful impact that you can have on an event,
is to KNOW YOUR TRUTH.
 
Know who you are and what you are charge of.
 
Anything else is an opinion based on your life expereinces and perception which is not like any other soul on this planet.
Anything else is based on your own fears, programmed thoughts and views, hopes, desires and can never be expected to be like any other person’s.
You have no effing clue what anyone is ever feeling, thinking or what they have actually lived.
You have no concept of the path that God has set up for anyone or what thier life lessons are.
 
But by trying to step into the midst of anothers business or that of God’s you block your own truth,
your own happiness and abundance.
You cause speration.
And seperation does not feel good.
 
It feels like worry.
It feels like fear.
It feels like you are out of control.
It feels like you have lost.
It feels like a disappointment.
It feels like you are being emptied out and tied up.
 
This is not your true state of being.
 
And if you make the choice to stay in your own business from this moment forward the best you can and when you accidently step into anothers business or God’s out of an old habit to just pause and step back out of it and back into what you can have impact on,
 
Your business.
You will discover an inner peace.
A love like you have never known before.
Self- love.
And through this your reactions and ability to connect will forever be changed.
 
I wish you a year of YOU.
A year of a powerful you.
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Are you ready for a Year Of YOU?
Availble to a limited VIP group of powerful manifestors and individuals who want to rock out and Kick A*s in 2020 I am doing a private 1:1 opportunity to change your inner world to one of high vibration, focused intention, release of fear and self- sabotaging patterns, and development of abundance skills for life, love and money.
 
Message me for full deet’s on this VIP 6 -week opportunity to work 1:1 with me and make 2020 a Year of Me!
 
Start of 2020 and activiating your Yes year to You by saying YES to this potent opportunity today.

Stop Lieing To Yourself- You Are Poly-monogomish FOREVER!

Poly-monogomish FOREVER!
Can’t help it.
Just the way I am wired.
This identification does not mean that I won’t be monogamous.
It does not mean I will cheat or get bored.
It does not mean that I believe I need more
or are unhappy in anyway.
It simply means that I love relationship.
Value intimacy.
And stand firm with my integrity.

It means that those I choose to be in relationship with hold an eternal and special space in my heart.
That if my soul leads me to engage in any fashion,
To explore another being however called too,
That I embrace this pull and understand that it is perfect and meant to be, without question.

Many believe that to be polyamorous means that you desire sex with multiples.
That you are dating and being physically intimate with many.
But what polyamorous truly means is to have love and to embrace love and relationship with more than one.
Anyone who has more that one child,
Has more than one friend,
Loves both parents,
And all thier siblings,
Is engaging in a polyamorous loving.

Many years ago a dear friend of mine looked at me and said,
” You are living a polyamorous lifestyle in everyway but your sex. Perhaps you should explore it.”

His words rang so very true to my core.
And he was accurate in his view.
So I ventured onto the sexual path of polyamory and all it could intale.

Now this is not a personal share of the romance, sexing and relations of multiple lovers.
Its also not a share on how amazing polyamory is or how fucked up it can be.

But it is a share on acceptance.
On embracing who you are at your core regardless of what the norms of society say they should be.
Its a post on knowing yourself enough to allow your own happiness to flow.
And to even ASK for it.

Its a share based on living authentically.
In integrity.
And not just using these words because they feel good or make you sound like an awakened soul.
No.
But to actually LIVE by them.

Yes what I share here is about living in conscious surrender to your HAPPINESS.

And to communicate your needs.
To communicate where you are at in any relationship.
Its a share about what loving self and having self respect really means.
Its a share about your truth.
Its about you not wanting to accept that you are polyamorous just like me.
The only difference is your lack in comfort to speak what you want.
What you need.
What you desire.
And your unwillingness to see WHO YOU ARE.
Living blind to all the love that you give.
To all the people that you care about.
That you are in relationship with.
Or that you wish to someday be.

Yes I am poly- monogamous ALWAYS.
I am polyamorous in my life in all ways.
Those seen and those only felt.
I make a decision in moments of my relationship experience to be monogamous or not.
But the S-E-X,
the sex never has anything to do with it.
Outside of a desire to connect, be seen, or enjoy self or another at a more raw level.
Its never about the orgasm.
Its always about the love.
The connection.
The happiness.

And the greatest happiness and deepest connection comes from integrity.

Integrity with self.
With God.
And with others.

The ultimate self love and respect as well comes from this place of not hiding.
Not story telling.
But breathing in ones own TRUTH.

And when we can do this.
We can also elevate our relationships.
Our love.
Our sex.
Our understanding.

As Always
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

Message me for my unannounced Holiday 1:1 Special Now.

It’s Your Stinking Thinking Luv!

STOP YOUR DAMN STINKING THINKING LUV.

You know what I mean

You are sitting around wanting.
Craving all those things.
Desiring a life you don’t currently have,
And thinking the way to achieve it is by focusing on the not having of it.

Thats such stinking thinking luv.
Its polluting up your mind and your feelings about everything that you have.

If you really want the life you currently don’t have then realize that the only fucking way to get what you want is to apply your focus to that, that you WANT.
And the FEELING of it.

But NO EFFING way will you do that, huh.
No thats not logical.
You have this problem.
This challenge before you.
You must FIX what is broken
You must PROVE you are worthy.

It can’t be that easy to just start feeling good.
Right now.
Right here.
In this very moment,
To make up your damn mind to LOVE your MOFO life just as it is and feel BLESSED.

No way can it be so simple to change your life by applying your focus to being how you want right now instead of looking somewhere else,
Someplace outside of who you are and what you have.
No your stinking thinking has you believing that your happiness,
Is something you must search for.
Something you must look outside yourself for.
Something that you must work for or show your worth for.

Your stinking thinking has you focused on giving up your power to this world outside yourself in hopes that by doing so you will achieve this elusive thing called HAPPINESS.

And the sad and funny truth is that happiness is not found in things or other people.
Its found in your heart luv.
Its found by you truly embodying YOU.
But you were never taught that.
You were never shown its safe to be you.
To feel you.
To show,
Express you.

Instead the lies and illusions of looking elsewhere were given to you and now the void within is so vast you feel lost.
Listless.
Empty.
You have the relationship,
The house and snazzy car.
You have the education.
The kids.
The dog.
The success and even money in the bank.
You have seen this world.
And you still FEEL empty as fuck!
You still feel lost in who you really are and it all just seems pointless at best most days.

Oh luv,
You are so beautiful in your misgivings of this thing called life.
You are so simple in you desire for happiness and fullness.
But its your MOFO stinking thinking thats making it all so complicated.
So disheartening and making you miss the richness you already possess.

Yes luv.
You are RICH.
YOU are ABUNDANT.
And happiness is within you.

Will you CHOOSE to see and feel it or will you continue to give your power and joy away to the illusions and grandeur of this world that tells you to focus on the problems,
The pain.
The lack.

Whats your decision luv?

And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

TO BE SOFT… What Does It Mean To Your Happiness?

TO BE SOFT IS TO BE POWERFUL. – Rupi Kaur
 
Last year I went out with my second oldest child, my daughter Rebekah to get tattoo’s. She had this beautiful quote that she was getting putting on the inside of her arm that her boyfriend had ended a love letter with. It was such lovely, powerful words of encouragement and I could easily understand why she desired to keep them for her lifetime.
 
I love ink. And getting inked is a THING.
If you are into ink, you get it.
If not, oh well, I am sorry.
 
SO I decided that I would get a tattoo as well, but I always want my tattoo’s to have meaning of some sort and I had not given much thought to this moment. There we were driving to the artist discussing what I should do. When Bek says mom,
“To be soft is to be powerful. – This is so you mom.”
 
I was bewildered, I do admit.
I felt like I sucked at being soft.
I felt like soft was scary.
I felt like soft was bad somehow, that I should be ashamed of it even.
I questioned what she meant by this.
And she explained,
“Mom you are always there for us. You always let us see you and you are always working on yourself. You make mistakes and you allow for our mistakes. You are the strongest person.”
 
What she was expressing to me was that I ALLOWED MYSELF TO FEEL LIFE.
 
The good.
The bad.
The painful.
The joy and orgasm.
The sweetness.
The bitterness.
The meh.
The void.
The fear.
The fullness.
 
I feel it all.
And I KNOW the BEAUTY of it, because I allow myself to experience it all.
 
And so, she was correct in her statement and much like her that day, I needed to keep with me the reminder of my power in my FEELS.
 
Through the course of this lifetime,
I have wanted so badly to run and hide from what I was feeling.
I have wanted to mask it,
cover it up and not allow it to be seen by self or others.
And when I did allow it to be seen or felt,
I was shamed of my humanness around my fears, my joy, my pain and void.
Something always seemed amiss in my feeling,
it was this voice in my head,
telling me that I should not be feeling this way.
It was this same voice telling me I was weak, pathetic and hopeless.
That it was this sort of crap that kept me disconnected from people.
That I was too much to handle.
I was broken.
 
 
And so I worked ever so hard to toughen up.
I focused on breathing in my emotions and “building a strong house” to hold them in.
In the belief that by not revealing them,
by holding them,
that I was being emotionally mature.
 
LMAO!!!!!
 
Looking back at this I feel silly.
Sweet in my desire to be mature with my emotions,
strong for the people in my life,
true.
But so wrong in truth,
this way of being,
of living was not LIVING.
It was hiding from life.
It was avoidance of who I was,
it was a shrinking of my heart center,
a closing to the one’s that I love.
It was a hardening or callousing of my ability to connect,
to be seen and to see another.
In this stifling of feeling,
I lost my ability to have intimacy with life, with others and with self.
I SHRUNK as a human.
 
And in this I lost.
I was the BIGGEST looser.
Because all I wanted was the intimacy,
the love,
the connection.
To be received and to hold space for another.
And what I gifted myself with in my “strength of holding my emotions so tight” was to shield LIFE.
 
The end result outside of loss of intimacy and ability to relate, connect and love, let alone be authentically compassionate or forgive self or others,
also led me to a shut down in my allowance to self to open and receive abundance.
 
My lesson in feeling,
was that in order to have my desires manifest in any fashion,
I needed to allow myself to “SOFTEN INTO THE FLOW OF FEELING LIFE.”
 
That my power came from this space,
You see in order for you to be able to KNOW YOUR PATH,
to FEEL what is right and good for YOU,
in order for you to be able to TRUST your judgement on any decision,
You must FEEL Your emotions, your physical reactions, your truth about it.
 
This means that if you are calloused to FEELING LIFE,
you will consistently make wrong choices for YOUR LIFE.
 
And this is not what living is about.
This is just existing.
 
And that is the WHY that you have been questioning.
WHY AM I NOT HAPPY?
Why does nothing make me happy?
 
Simple….
You are not FEELING LIFE.
 
Want to change this?
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Coaching Today and level up your life experience to one of FEELING.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
https://www.tantrictransformation.com/micro-consult/