Fortune Favors the BOLD – But Why?

It is said that fortune favors the BOLD.
And from my experience this is an accurate assessment.
I know who you are,
Wanting to be bold.
Looking for opportunities to “let your hair down” and prove to the world and yourself that you can be comfortable in your boldness.
Or at least what you currently perceive as bold.
Stripping yourself bare,
Doing things that feel seductive in their discomfort.
Pushing your boundaries with the hope and belief that your actions will PROVE that you are comfortable being you.
That you are your own boss.
That you are owned by no one.
Yes,
You know who you are.
You know you feel that hunger deep inside your soul
and you are looking for a way to feed it.
A way to connect to what you know is at your core,
To whom you pray at night to find,
And cross your fingers is truly you.
But you are still lost,
Aren’t you?
You are still searching my love.
And THIS…
THIS is why you struggle.
THIS is why you are still chasing your desires.
THIS is why you feel that inner wobble.

You know what I speak of.
That feeling of uncertainty.
That feeling of not knowing.
That sensation of not yet being steady
But instead still full of questions.

Is this correct?
Am I doing it right?
Am I enough or maybe too much?
Am I worthy, truly worthy without reason to have the life that I want?

You feel it calling you.
You feel the drawing in like a lover across the room,
Wanting you.
And you want it too.
You try to not let yourself daydream about what could be.
About how it could feel.
But when you do…

You get wet and tingly.
You get aroused by this seductress.
You want it.
You know you do.
But do you dare?

It will require you to do what you have never done before.
It will require you to be BOLD like never before.
To move past the need to prove,
To ignore your need to show you can,
Or to walk or talk the way you “think” confidence walks or talks.
To stop trying to force it to happen.
To stop trying to force yourself to grow.
To be something or someway.
To stop trying in general.
Boldness is nothing more than just BEING YOU.
And daring to LIVE.

The fact you are searching so hard,
Feeling so lost,
Caught in your wobble.
Shows how out of alignment to your SOUL you really are.
Shows your lostness.
And the fortunes that you crave will never materialize while you remain out of alignment.
While you continue to be BOLD.

Fortune favores the BOLD.
The BOLD who dare to LIVE.

That is.
Which is one of the rarest events in this world.

Ask yourself today..

Am I truly living?
Or just pretending?

And remember
Stop Existing & Start Existing
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

Message me for deet’s on my 1:1 coaching and inquire NOW about my 12 Days of F-cking Awesomeness Christmas Sale.

Exhaustion is a CHOICE.

YOU WORK FOR YOURSELF SO YOU HAVE ALL THE TIME THAT YOU NEED.
 
 
And other statements that show that you have no comprehension of life or the power of manifesting.
 
My entire life I have dealt with people telling me something.
Assuming something.
And thinking that they have it worse or better than I do.
 
The reality is that no matter where you are at in life,
there will ALWAYS be someone in worse shoes,
and someone in better shoes,
than yours.
 
You cannot go through life concerned about other people’s shoes.
 
Or choices.
Or time.
 
But to look at another person’s situation and use it to show WHY YOU CANNOT do what you need is crazy AF!
 
Yet this is a common occurrence.
 
Every week I work with people who come and sit down with me for coaching,
they tell me their tough stories on how they got to where they are at,
they paint pictures of suffering, fear and anxiety.
They paint pictures of how hard life is.
And how much they hope for.
They tell me their grand faith and love they have,
about their desires and dreams.
They affirm a strong commitment.
 
And then….
 
They say,
“Yeah, but how long is this going to take?”
 
“You just don’t understand, I have kids and a corporate job. I don’t have the time or the energy. I am exhausted.”
 
And they say this as though they should get some medal for living an exhausting life.
 
They believe that this is just how success is.
How life is.
and what is to be expected.
They also assume that the anxiety, depression, frustration and constriction…
 
the sacrificing of their dreams and selves is what a smart, responsible person should do.
 
NOTHING could be farther from the truth though.
 
This way of thinking and feeling holds you in a scarcity mindset and thus keeps you living a life of poverty. You may have money, but if you are exhausted and empty you are actually POOR AF.
 
As Brene Brown would say,
“It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.”
 
And exhaustion leads you to anxiety.
It leads you to depression and hopelessness.
 
Exhaustion creates a massive void in who you are.
 
It is no status symbol,
it is a premature death sentence,
and you don’t have to be 6 feet under to be dead baby.
 
What you get is an UNLIVED LIFE.
 
Just think about that one for a second if you have the mental focus to do such after this long ass day.
 
Are you among the norm out there of this world?
 
Like most people who have two lives…
 
The one you are living and the one you keep denying?
 
The Unlived Life.
 
The reality is babe…
 
YOU GET TO CHOOSE.
 
The reason I have the energy and vitality for the life that I am creating is simply because I have chosen to LIVE not just get by and exist.
 
I have had years,
even a decade or two that I chose otherwise and that shiz almost killed me.
 
My SOUL was like WTF! We are outta here if you keep this shiz up girl.
 
And I had to CHOOSE LIFE.
Or say goodbye.
 
Sure I work for myself,
I make my own schedule,
I decide my value in my fee’s.
I have no thumb on me.
I have freedom and flexibility.
TIME.
 
And with all of that comes responsibility.
Dedication.
Commitment.
Desire.
 
I choose to focus on what I want to create and therefore it gets created.
 
A long time ago I said that I wanted to be a full time mommy.
That I did not want my children to have to go to daycare and be raised by someone else.
 
I also said that I wanted to provide home cooked meals for my children 80-90% of the time.
 
I also said that I valued dating my children, all 7 of them.
Spending 1:1 time with them.
I also said that I wanted to take them on experiences,
to adventure together, to laugh, read, play…
 
And that I wanted this frequently.
 
Now on the other side of things I said that I wanted to make a multi-six figure income.
That I wanted to build an empire.
I wanted to teach masses of people.
I wanted to work with the 1%.
 
I said that I wanted to look good and feel great as I age.
I said that I wanted to be healthy.
That I wanted to travel – A LOT.
 
I said that I wanted all of it and desired for more.
Knowing that my desires would grow as I created more and more of the life that I wanted.
 
I share this with you to make the point that I get busy.
Busy life.
Ton’s happening.
Chaos.
Drama.
It’s all part of the picture.
And being center hub for a bunch of people can be EXHAUSTING…
 
LOL.
 
The thing is that any of us can have a truly amazing, fulling life if we DECIDE to actually commit to LIVING.
 
This means to put the focus not on always working,
not making all those bills and creditors,
your boss or employee’s,
your clients,
the football game or candy crush,
more important than your Mother-effing Life!
 
Because that is just being average and ordinary.
And you are NOT THAT LUV!
 
You are EXTRAORDINARY.
 
So Own It!
 
And Live accordingly.
 
Are you living in alignment to WHO YOU REALLY ARE?
Or are you settling for something less than…
 
Be Real…
 
And Remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for deet’s on my 1:1 global coaching opportunities today. Limited private coaching opportunities available.
 
 
 

WHY I DO SEX DAILY.

WHY I DO SEX DAILY….
 
I have sex almost daily.
It’s just my THING.
I do sex daily yes because I love sex,
but more so for what sex gives me.
And I am not referring to the mind blowing orgasms that only happen here and there.
 
Okay so it’s truth time folks,
yes ME,
the sex expert and coach that helps thousands of people have better and more sex DOES NOT have mind blowing, earth shaking orgasm daily.
Actually most days, its pretty meh…
The sex is just normal,
and even boring at times.
But I still do sex almost daily,
and some days if the opportunity presents itself two or three times.
 
Just a week ago I spent about 7 hours out of 24 having sex.
Now that was yummy.
But why was it yummy?
Why did I want to have 7 hours of sex?
or have it daily, especially if I am not having mind blowing sex or even an orgasm most of the time?
 
The simple truth is that SEX ignites my creative juices.
Sex allows me a medative state, no matter the outcome to work on embodying myself,
sex allows me practice time to get out of my head and FEEL myself at a deep level.
I get to practice letting go,
I get to practice vulnerability,
I get to practice surrender,
I get to see where I am challenged and through the rhythm of my sex,
the consistent allowance of letting myself feel and stepping away from the idea of cumming,
but just BEING instead,
I get to connect to my CORE and thus feel my partner at a deeper level.
 
I have discovered through the years,
that our SEX is linked to so many things.
Self-confidence,
self-love,
boundaries,
ability to receive and give,
thinking patterns,
fear,
DESIRE,
passion,
VITALITY,
a feeling of freedom,
a feeling of peace,
centeredness,
physical well-being,
mental well-being,
and expanded spiritual depth.
 
To just name a few.
Yet we are taught to shame our sex,
to hide from it,
to ignore it,
to STARVE IT.
We are taught that our sex is evil.
And that it should only be used to make babies, or relieve stress QUICKLY.
 
And this way of thinking about our sex,
has us shut down,
fearful,
and not having sex.
It has us feeling disconnected from life, ourselves and the people we love.
It has us feeling insecure and angry,
depressed and lost.
And it has us trying to achieve what we have a void in through any means possible.
It has us acting out and traumatizing ourselves and others.
 
Instead of loving ourselves,
being responsible,
compassionate,
mature people,
we are like caged, starving, beaten wild animals.
This is what our world has become when we DO SEX.
And it’s all because we have such a limited, repressed view and understanding of this beautiful gift from God.
 
Sex and finances are the top two reasons marriages break up.
Sex actually out weights money,
because when the sex is crap,
when the sex is disconnected and toxic,
when sex is just about the get off,
then you have a partner being used and abused.
You have trauma setting in and the relationship is TOXIC.
No amount of money can heal that.
That is all about embodiment.
That is all about connection.
 
And you can ONLY CONNECT to your partner if you know how to connect to yourself first.
 
THAT IS WHY I DO SEX DAILY.
 
The consistent practice of leaning more into ME.
 
How does your sex feel to you?
Connected and deep?
Expansive and full?
or shallow, empty and about the release?
 
Want to learn how you have beautiful sexing all the time and access these states of peace, joy and connection.
Enjoy intimacy no matter what is going on in your life?
Reach out to me for information on my 1:1 coaching available globally today.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Step The F-ck Into Your Life Ans STOP Making Excuses.

Get off your A*s and Get VIBING the way you know you need too.
 
When are you going to get sick and tired of being sick and tired of not living the life that you want?
 
You do realize that the ONLY thing preventing you from having it the way you want it is YOU.
 
It is those damn thoughts of sabotage and fear.
Those beliefs that you are not worthy.
The objections of not having enough money, time or support….
Energy.
 
This is what is holding you back.
It clearly tells God and Universal forces that you are not yet ready to call it in.
It says that you are more content being comfortable in your suffering then committing to what you claim you desire to have for a life.
 
The only question that you every really need to ask yourself on this topic is,
 
” Am I ready to get ready?”
 
And until you are ready to get ready,
you will not have.
 
It is that simple beautiful.
Until you are ready to commit,
and stop your blaming and excuse making,
you will continue to have exactly what you have RIGHT NOW.
 
And if you are not happy with what your life is RIGHT NOW,
then tough.
 
Because obviously you want it to remain the same.
 
You have settled into it and you have made it home.
Perhaps you find some value or excitement in the settling,
the drama that you muster up to make yourself feel alive.
Or the stories that you manifest into your reality to give reason as to WHY you cannot or do not have.
 
You can continue to point out into this world,
and proclaim that you are not THRIVING because of this or that,
or you can find the spaces in your life that you do have it happening.
 
Its all about:
COMMITMENT
FOCUS
APPRECIATION
ACTION
SOUL
 
 
When you get these things,
when you slow down and tap into the messages that you are getting every day from your SOUL,
when you COMMIT to the inner work, and the listening to SOUL,
When you choose to FOCUS on what you want instead of the not having of what you want,
When you APPRECIATE all that you do have,
And when you choose to take ACTION toward what you want,
 
Then you will CALL IT INTO CREATION.
 
Because the universe will bend to your will.
You can command in everything that you desire with a short time frame.
You are WORTHY and POWERFUL.
And what you want, wants you too.
 
But you have to take the first step in FAITH.
 
BABY YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR A*S ON THE LINE AND STEP THE F-CK IN ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!
 
This is you getting ready to get ready.
 
Most will continue to choose to not step in.
That is the small minded, sheeple of our world.
That is the way of the Average and Ordinary,
In the box thinkers.
 
These same souls will never know the JOY and ABUNDANCE that this life can offer.
 
They will never taste the FREEDOM.
And they will die with REGRET.
 
But that is not you!!!!
 
You are a crusader.
You are a powerful soul who desires to THRIVE.
You insist on greatness from life and from yourself.
And you feel it deep in your core.
It keeps you up at night.
It pains you to see yourself caving to the average way of thinking and being.
You KNOW that God gave you a purpose and you feel like you will loose your life if you die with this music still in you.
 
So what are you waiting for beautiful?
 
Say YES,
Say F-ck YES! To YOU RIGHT NOW.
 
Claim Your Life Today and step the f-ck in.
 
All the way in.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers
 
I know that you may be scared.
I have been in those shoes before all too many time.
But that fear is not going to stop you.
You are powerful.
Introducing 12- weeks of “Unstoppable Power – It’s My Time To Fly!”
This is a once in a life time to work with me 1:1 from anywhere in the world.
If you are a man or a woman who is looking for a powerful game-changing opportunity to claim the life that you desire in FAITH and learn how you can access your dreams quickly by releasing old programs based in fear and shame around your worthiness, joy and abundance then this 12-weeks is for you.
Stop letting everything be an excuse!
You deserve better than those reasons you have to stay trapped in your comfort bubble of suffering.
Let’s level up your life over summer.
Message me for deet’s or leave a comment here.

This is why life is not working for you.

I hear often from people that they love my open, authentic, unapologetic fashion and way of being. So many people come to me and say, “Wow, Kendal I can’t imagine being so out there like you are on these topics. How do you do it?”
 
The truth of my being is this and of my reality as I create it.
I have to be open, authentic and unapologetic in my messaging, coaching and just simply living. If I were being any other way I would not be me.
 
And I don’t try to be like anyone else.
Because there is ONLY one me.
 
I use to sit around and twiddle my thumbs and desire to have or be or do things that someone else was doing. I wanted for this or that person’s life. I would dream about living in the freedom and flexibility of how those I followed and looked up to were living.
 
What I discovered was that in my wanting I was also searching.
 
I was searching for WHO I WAS.
 
I had an identity issue.
I took on other peoples ideas, concepts and roles that they had for me.
I took on the perceptions and images that I was seeing were successful for others.
I would mimic their attitude, their facial expressions, the way they sat or moved their hands and even the things they said and how they said it.
I would mimic their very beliefs.
 
I would mimic anything I could.
 
And to a degree it was good.
Because I was being a student,
I was hungry to learn.
To grow and to discover what worked.
I wanted change.
I wanted to find myself.
And in wanting that I searched through exploration and trying on other peoples personalities and habits.
 
Unfortunately, after a bit of learning all these amazing habits and ways of being, I felt even more lost. I started to loose the luster for life, for my work, the way I was existing and living.
 
I was exhausted.
And my body and emotions were screaming it loud and clear as I started to fall apart at the seams.
 
Why was this?
 
Why in my improving of myself,
in my exploration and focus of taking on better habits,
habits of success and abundance in ways I saw it working was my very body and being fighting me?
 
Here is the issue with what I was doing and perhaps you can relate a tad to my tale today. The answer was pretty simple….
 
I was withering away because I was not being TRUE TO ME.
 
Sure i had some great habits.
I had some awesome beliefs.
I was doing the work.
I was invested in my change.
 
But I was FIGHTING MY TRUTH.
 
And when we play pretend for too long,
our SOUL get’s sick and tired of our nonsense and it decides to give us a wake up call.
 
Get in alignment or else.
 
We can learn from others.
and in order to fully tap into who we are each meant to be,
we MUST BE STUDENTS.
 
We must learn to adapt certain traits and successful mindset programs,
but it must be done without the loss of our SOUL.
 
How can I message, coach and live so open, authentically and unapologetically the way that I do?
 
How can I speak from this real and raw place from deep within and look you in the eye with love and acceptance while revealing intimate aspects of who I am?
 
Because I CHOSE TO FIND MYSELF.
I made a decision to BE ME.
I COMMITTED to stop mimicking everyone else in hopes that their way was my way and that it/them would save me.
 
I decided that I was the most important person in my life and that in order for me to serve this world the best way I could and to THRIVE in life, to have my dreams and desires manifest that I had to simply let go of any desire to try and be something or someone that I was not.
 
I stopped caring what the world thought of me.
I put down the fears,
the concerns and worries of loosing people in my life if I decided to just be me.
I got real with myself.
And I fell in love with who I was.
WHO I AM.
 
If life is not manifesting the way you want it.
If your abundance is falling short like your time, your energy and your focus, then perhaps its time that you stop the insanity of playing the roles that you have painted for yourself in the image of another and just BE YOU.
 
I know how scary that may sound.
I know that you may have no real clue as to who you are even.
But realize that these obstacles are nothing more than a mirage to your truth.
Don’t let your SOUL light burn out because you are too scared to pull back the curtains on your life and reveal your beauty,
your thoughts,
your feelings,
your opinions,
and ideas.
 
You know who you are.
You just have to be willing to slow down enough to spend time with yourself to feel into yourself.
 
And then have the COURAGE to make yourself the most important person in your life.
 
Do this and watch miracles and abundance in all juicy good things flood into your here and now.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

TRAUMA GREW MY ROSE GARDEN AND GRATITUDE WATERS IT.

TRAUMA GREW MY ROSE GARDEN AND GRATITUDE WATERS IT.

Today is a really interesting day for me.
It marks my one year of one of the most traumatic events I have had happen in a relationship so far. It also marks my one year of a massive transformation period, new growth and opportunity blended with trauma and needed healing.

Today I sit here at Starbucks after dropping my youngest son off to his father ( the man I fell out of relationship a year ago today).
It was brutal to drop him off today.
My heart actually still hurts from this mornings exchange.

Our son age four, ran to the back seat of my car as we pulled into daddy’s driveway and he screamed, “I don’t want to go to daddy’s house.” he got so frustrated, clung to the rear seat with all the force his little body could muster and screamed, “No Mommy.”

I grabbed him up, hugged him. Told him that I loved him and that I would see him later today and then he would be back at mommy’s house on Wednesday. He clung to my neck and fought profusely to hold on to me as his father took him out of my arms.

I never wanted any of this for my baby.
I don’t believe that any of us parents ever want this sort of emotional pain on our children. I don’t believe that my ex desires this trauma to come up on our son either.
And yet it still falls here.

Today, I find myself sitting here upset at my son’s pain.
Wishing I could do more for him.
Wishing that us adults who have brought this on him could have communicated better about what we wanted from each other and how we wanted out of our relationship before it came to violence as it did and a nasty, terrorizing breakup that will last a life time for our children emotionally not to mention the physical repercussions that are still being dealt with for myself.

I sit here still wondering how I could not have realized more so as to where my ex was at.
Wondering why he had to act out in violence and rage the way he did one year ago today.
Why it was so important for him to push me and all the children away with such extreme measures.
Why could he just not simply say that he wanted out and we move onto separate paths in peace and harmony, working together for the greatest good of all the children and each other.

I knew he was unhappy in our relationship.
I knew he wanted out.
He did not even desire to want to spend 30 minutes a week with me alone even though this had become a consistent request and desire of mine. He could not stomach to sit by me and watch TV, he wanted nothing to do with cuddling or sex that was two sided, only wanted to get off and be done. Would roll away in disgust after pushing me away like trash after he had reached climax.
He became rageful with friends and emotionally and physically aggressive toward his step-children. He was hateful and I told myself that he was stressed about work, money, health, anything but the truth was what I proclaimed.

The signs were there.
They were in front of my blind eyes and desire to make it all work for us.
The more committed I became to our relationship and requested time and connection,
the more he pushed away in anger.

And now,
a year later I see the truth.
I see his pattern that he had to enforce.
I see the pain that he must be in.
And I am grateful that even though that was a brutal time and experience,
even though there is still much healing that needs done for self and children.

I am grateful that I never lost who I was,
I never lost love,
I never lost my family or friends,
and I can do the healing and I understand at a deep level the power of emotions,
the importance of knowing self and NOT hiding from myself and feelings.
I am grateful that I was given a powerful opportunity last year to stand up and be 100% me.
The last year has offered me so many blessings that would have never come about had he not caved to his patterns and needs to push love away, to push so hard that he was the one to be abandoned in the experience by everyone. To repeat the trauma from his youth. And to create an experience that supported his belief that the feminine always leaves him.

I see now how he had to push that hard.
I am too stubborn to leave when I still love.
I believed it could be fixed,
I believed that he was not lying when he said that he loved me more than anyone else.
I strangely believed in us and in him.

But today,
today I stand in gratitude for the 7 years of learning,
of experience and growth,
for the birth of my two youngest angels that i would not trade for anything.

Today I stand here in gratitude for his push.
Busted up body and everything,
it was worth it.
Because I found my true strength.
I found my heart.
My SOUL.
And tapped into allowing myself, to be me without needing another.
There is great beauty in the darkest of clouds if you allow yourself to see it and you allow time to step you back far enough to see the whole sky and it’s beauty.

Life is one BIG TRUST EXERCISE.
And today,
I am reminded of the trust and faith that I had to muster up at one of my lowest, scariest points in life so far.
Today, I choose to focus on that reminder.
To focus on the gratitude and the opportunities that have come from this event, like any event in our lives.
Today I choose to look at my blessed life.
The steady massive love that I experience from family, friends and the wonderful man I have in my life currently.
The AMAZING tribe that I have developed and all the growth that I am seeing in my business and life.
The wealth of connection, joy and the laughter that resides in my home daily that was not there a year ago or before.
My creativity at an all time high.
The beauty and bounty that is in each step on this journey.

Today I want to say THANK YOU to the man that tossed me to the side last year, who tried to destroy me and all that we had built together.
From that rubble grew a rose garden.

MY ROSE GARDEN.

Thank you for my pain.
Thank you for my suffering.
Thank you for the trauma.
Thank you for the goodbye.
I am so effing happy with my life TODAY!

My question to you that I share this with today is,
what are you doing with your trauma, drama and pain? Does it hold you back or build you up?

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.

I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.

But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.

Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.

Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.

What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?

You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

You Make Me Want To Look Pretty

You make me want to look pretty.
You make me want to dress up and be my best in your presence.
You make me want to smile.
You make me want to be light in my heart.
Open.
and connected.
You make me want to be beautiful.
Because that is what I am.
I am all of this at my core love.
And I know that you can see it.
I know that you feel me at my deepest,
and that you hunger for me to give you more of myself.
You light me up.
You make me feel joyous.
You turn me on at a spiritual level.
You ignite my soul.
Your energy,
your support,
your words of encouragement,
the way you smile and say nothing at all.
You tell me that I am beautiful.
You make me want to reveal my all to you.
I want to spread my wings,
and let you in.
I want to be captured by the light that your eye’s reflect back to me.
I want all of this.
Because I am all of this.
And you see me.
You call me out in my dark hours.
You resist my attempts to hide my beauty.
You dig in my caves and you ask for more treasure.
And you know that it is treasure.
The treasure of my soul.
The treasure of my truth.
And you see me.
You are not blinded by the tales of others.
You are not hindered by the notions of the world around us.
No, you choose.
And you consistently choose,
to see me.
And for this my love,
You make me want to look pretty.
You make me want to dress up and be my best in your presence.
You make me want to smile.
You make me want to be light in my heart.
Open.
and connected.
You make me want to be beautiful.
I want to show you who I am.
I want you to feel me.
I want you to crave me.
To taste more of me.
I want to open,
open wide in love to you.
Because it is with your onlooking,
that I can see myself.
It is through your eye’s that I take down my masks.
The veils of my fear fall to the ground,
they are not needed,
in your embrace.
Yes, my love.
You have that way about you.
You have the presence.
The love.
The attention.
That my soul desires.
I want to suck you up and never let you go,
and I want you to do the same of me.
Absorb me love.
Hold me love.
And savor.
Because this is me.
This is my beauty.
This is my soul.
And it is naked before you.
asking for your presence.
Basking in your sight.
Becoming juicy at your touch.
Yes this my love is me.
And because you see me,
I am standing stronger.
Because the way that you look at me,
I know that you know me.
I know that you feel me.
I know that we are the same.
And so as I stand here,
eye to eye,
you look back from the mirror,
and you say,
” I love you. You are beautiful.”
And yes my love you are correct.
For this is me.
And this is you.
And we are one.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Damn You 2018! But Thank You.

🍾🥳🎉🎉Happy New Years Eve Everyone!🎉🎉🥳💞

As we go through the last day of 2018 and we enter 2019, I wanted to share some thoughts with you about the bullsh*t that might be holding you back.
And I say all of this in love. And I say it all with the intimacy share that it is true for myself as well.
Stepping into a new year is always a time of contemplation for myself. Perhaps you feel the same, perhaps not.
But I find myself sitting here this morning, drinking my coffee, enjoying the crispness of the morning and playing with our families new little puppy while I ponder all that has taken place in this year of 2018.
Recently I shared that I was in gratitude and happy with where my life is RIGHT NOW. That I was happy with 2018 and all that it has brought with it. And this is true, however I still find myself looking at the year and saying from my depth, “Damn You 2018!”
I am witnessing this same energy and statement from many people that I know, work with and follow. 2018 has been a testing year.
It has tested us in all ways. Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
And financially for many.
For myself I look at this last year and I can honestly say that I did not see many of the things that occurred coming. I started last January pumped up and excited, anticipating the closure of a separation with a man that I loved deeply, but I “thought” that he would turn toward me, instead he chose differently and with that came new sight into his heart and our relationship. It was a breathtaking and eye opening experience. Turned around and found myself with my other main man flipping out and revealing where he was as well, which lead to physical trauma and financial stress. Watched as my 82 year old mother with dementia went deeper down the rabbit hole of this disease and made choices that were irreversible making it where I no longer to care and support her the way that I once had, to the point where she even ran away from the home that she was living.
Brought on with all of these challenges of 2018 I found myself needing to find a new home ( and did so within 3 days) , get a new car ( and I did so within a week), get healing for my physical body ( which I did with the love and support of my fellow practitioners and friends), get legal help ( which I did with the guidance of God) and wade through the upsets and the trails that would seem to never end.
Yes 2019 with your over $75,000 of additional costs that I did not expect.
You have taught me so much. This single mama still remains strong, happy and in love with her life. In gratitude for all that 2018 has brought, even though it has been some rough lessons.
How can I even have gratitude some ask?It is simple: My life is blessed.I am in love with where I am. I am in love with the truth that has been revealed. And I am in love with myself.
2018 has shown me who I am, my strength, my courage, my fears, my weaknesses, and it has provided me with sight into my soul.


For all the sh*t that has happened in 2018, my list of gratitude’s are far greater.


*More than DOUBLED my income in 2018! BAM!!!💲💲

*Found out I am going to be a grandmother. 🙂 Holy crap its happening!!!!👶*All seven of my kids live close to me or with me.

* Have close relationships with all of my children and good friendships. ( what more can a mama ask for)

*Everyone is healthy.

*Bought my first car without anyone else attached to it. (always have had someone with me i.e. a husband or man)

*Moved into a house that I f-cking LOVE in a neighborhood that is amazing. * My kids are all in GREAT schools and doing good.

* Paid off a third of my over all debt.

*Only spend maybe 8-10 hours a week feeling like I am “working”

*Truly have my time as my time – I AM MY BOSS!

*Love my TRIBE!!!! – You are beautiful. *In love with where my business is going and who it is unveiling me to be.

*My home is always blessed with love and people who I care deeply about.

* Amazing men in my life that know how to hold space for me.

* Deep love.🥰💞💞 I truly feel deep love coming to me and being shared by me, which means I LOVE MYSELF DEEPLY.

*Alignment Awareness. This is a BIG one. I am far more conscious of when I am in alignment and when I am not and I am catching my hold backs quicker than in years past.

*A new focus on LISTENING to my intuition.👂👀 Another BIG one for me. Some days I feel psychic, and whether I am or not is beside the point, it is that I am seeing how accurate my gut is and how powerful I am if I ONLY CHOOSE to LISTEN.

*PEACE.🙏 I have spent the last decade becoming a more peaceful person, I use to be so angry and scared. But something in 2018’s lessons has truly lined me up with PEACE. It is hard to throw me these days, and even if I get a little flustered or tense, there is a current of peace right under it reminding me who I really am. Grateful I can feel that.

*THIS IS WHO THE F-CK I AM! 💃💃💃- Yes even for someone like me who prides myself for being raw and authentic, I still have masks. And I am done dancing at this masquerade ball. It’s been fun, but its time to stop fooling around and just STEP IN TO WHO I AM. This is all about the gratitude for KNOWING self and having the desire and the courage to say F-ck it! I am me. Claim my life once and for all.


Okay there is so much that I could go on and on here with my gratitude’s,
but my message to you beautiful is simple,


Look at my list.


Do you see the things that you are grateful for as well in your life?


Do you recognize the things that you need to step into and embrace?


Does any of it make you stir?Make you want for more?


2018 was here in my opinion to wake us the f-ck up!

To clear out the things that do not serve us.

To provide us with the space to call in our dream life.

We all have been too cramped in our style you could say, no room for what we want.

So 2018, bless you 2018.

You have shown us who we are.

You have helped us clean up our homes.

You have revealed truth.And you have taken out the trash that we were not strong enough to admit needed to be taken out.


So thank you 2018.


And HELLO 2019!!!!! 😍💃💃💃🥂🍾💲Let’s Rock this year with love, abundance, certainly and joy.


Let’s make 2019 about receiving all that wants to come to us. Wants to bless our lives. Open beautiful.

Open to 2019 like it is the lover you have always dreamed of and let it penetrate you with all it has to offer.


You are worth the creative loving forces of God’s blessings.
Just OPEN.

And RECEIVE.


Share in the comments what you want to manifest in 2019.


As Always, Stop Existing & Start Living


Come be the BOSS of your 2019 and get started with this 1:1 world wide access coaching intensive with me. Let me take your hand in January and lead you to your greatest year yet.
Boss Life 500. Its here. Its limited access. Its 1:1 Private coaching.It’s powerful as F-ck!Its for YOU.


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You were born to fish.

Somethings just feels wrong.

 
Don’t they?
 
In life we come up on these points in our live’s where we REALLY want something and it is stripped away, right in what seem’s like the most beautiful part of the experience.
 
You know what I am talking about.
It is the moments that make a significant impact on your heart,
on the course of your life even.
 
It is the moments that break you down to nothing,
leaving you fully exposed and raw.
 
It is the moments where you feel lost without hope,
searching for any little crumb of hope to keep you going.
 
Yes these moments.
 
These moments that you wonder why.
These moments that tear you apart and make you weep for all that is lost, all that will never be experienced, all the dreams that will never come to pass…
 
These are game changing moments of the soul.
 
And on the front side of these moments,
and through the healing process of them,
they feel effing wrong.
 
They feel as though they should not be happening.
That God got it all wrong on this one.
We find ourselves in these moments questioning our hearts, our intuition, our thoughts, our faith, our everything.
 
And the only logical answer yet illogical in the same is that
“I must not deserve this thing I have lost.”
“I must have screwed up and did something wrong.”
“I must have not been good enough.”
 
And so we sit an torture ourselves about how bad a person we are.
 
We come up with lists of things that we need to change,
promises to ourselves about how we will never allow this or that to happen to us again,
we confirm to ourselves that the only safe thing is to shut down.
 
And so we shutdown to love.
And it feels all wrong.
 
The universe is a funny place,
where when these occurrences happen,
we find ourselves haunted by the what if’s, the could have been’s, the dreams and desires that we once had and that still reside inside us deep down.
 
They haunt us like the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future.
 
They haunt us and share with us the things that we still desire.
That our heart cries out for.
That is not.
That cannot be in current.
 
And it feels all wrong.
 
But what if…
WHAT IF?
 
These haunting’s were actually signs from our soul.
Revealing to us that the desires that we had are still there and a possibility,
 
perhaps not in the fashion we had originally intended,
but that they are there and they are ours to manifest.
 
These THINGS that our hearts crave,
that our soul has set it’s eye on,
that God has in store for us.
 
These THINGS.
These BLESSINGS.
 
And the reason that they did not happen the way that we had originally planned was because those events, those people, those things were not in alignment to our highest and best life experience.
 
We had to grow!
Not do something to become worthy.
Not become a better person.
 
No.
We had to grow into the person that could hold those blessings,
 
and share of them the way that God intends for each of us to share.
 
It comes down to the wise statement from Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu, founder of Taoism
“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime”
 
 
If we had continued to be given the blessings freely as we were living them, then we never would have learned how to handle them properly or gain them in faith and surrender.
 
We would never have expanded our souls ability to receive the beauty of all that is offered to us in this life.
 
No one took anything away from us.
This is the truth.
What you may feel you have lost.
Is not gone.
 
You tasted of its sweetness and now you must go and earn it.
You must go and learn how to fish.
 
In the learning,
you will expand yourself to capacities you can not currently imagine.
 
You will grow.
You will once again gain,
your hearts desires.
Your souls cravings.
 
They are all there waiting for you.
But first you must fish.
 
The lessons of fishing, will lead you to the life that you desire.
You were born worthy of this life.
You must though build your being strong enough to carry all the blessing that is awaiting you.
 

And it feels right.

You were born to fish.

 

As always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

Join me in October for 5 weeks of transformation,
where YOU Claim Your LIFE in 2018 Once and For All.
Message me for details….
or

Sick As Shit, But NOT Accepting This.

I most likely “should” not be doing this today, after all I am sick.
I am recovering from this nasty as f*ck cold that took over my voice, my chest, my head, my sinuses. Keeping me awake hours all night and just not letting me sleep like a hungry lover who never is fulfilled.

I most likely “should” just cancel my day and F-ck it!
I most likely “should” go to the doctor and get some med’s to help me bust through this shit quicker.

Yeppers.
That is what I most likely “SHOULD” do.

But that is NOT what leaders do.
That is not what high vibe peep’s do.
That is not what those of us who have dreams do.

No.
It sure is f*uck not.

I might be sick.
I certainly need to take some TLC time.
I most defiantly need rest and a few good nights sleep.
But incorporating a practice of “shoulding on myself?”
I am F-CK NO to that one.

That will not heal me quicker or help me reach my goals.
It will not bring my being to a higher VIBE.

It will dilute me.
It will suck me dry from the false judgement,
the ego,
the fear,
the resistance of being all of me.

It will prevent me from SHINING my Mother F-cking Light as strong as I WANT to.

The issue is NOT in the things that I say I “should” do or “should not” do.

The issue is the SHOULD.

The statement of should say’s that I am basing…
My life,
My health,
My beliefs,
My goals,
My style,
My attitude,
My sex,
My money,
My LIGHT

on what I BELIEVE the world thinks I should do or should not do/be/have.

It is not based on WHO I AM, but on who I think society will accept the most.

There is the issue.

You know this issue, don’t you?
I bet you know it intimately even.

Maybe to intimately to acknowledge even,
keeping this relationship with “SHOULD” in the hiding as much as you can.
Acting as though you are removed from it,
Like you divorced it.
You don’t have that issue any longer.
That was the old you.

The new you is…

ENLIGHTENED.

Right?

Hahahahahahahahah…..
Okay sure.

I will let you sit there with that.
And I will sit here with mine.
And we can just sit in silence of our hiding our truth for just a second longer.

But here is the issue in that….

I can ONLY sit here a second with it.
I simply don’t have the time to give my life to all the “SHOULD’S and SHOULD NOT’S”

I simply KNOW with CERTAINTY that they will NEVER provide me with anything that I want.

They will only steal my breath.
They will only take my dreams and bury them in the waste land of a life that COULD HAVE BEEN.

They will only fill my soul with REGRET.

No.

I sure as F-CK DO NOT have more than a second of my time to sit here with you, in the silence of not chasing my dreams.

I know with CERTAINTY that God has my back.
I know with CERTAINTY that anything I truly put my mind, heart and attention to will manifest like f-cking magick for me.

I know with CERTAINTY that you can have this too.

But FIRST.
First you have to let go of your shoulding nature.

First you have to say goodbye to it,
let yourself cry your tears of mourning of letting go of all that holds you back,
(she coughs)
Yes your hold backs, those things that feel so f-cking safe and comfortable.

I KNOW you don’t want to admit it.
I KNOW you want to cringe at the realization of it.
I KNOW that you find yourself holding your breath,
feeling guilt or shame even around it,
But it is F-CKING TRUE.

Isn’t it?

Imagine if you just FINALLY accepted that you were limitless.
Imagine if you just FINALLY decided to get selfish.
Imagine if you just FINALLY chose to say YES,
Yes to YOU.

Who would you be?
What would you have?
Where would you go?
What would you do?

Imagine if you just stopped shoulding on yourself.
What would it FEEL like with out the should in your life?

Seriously,
I am the one who is SICK AS F-CK here…
I am the one that “should” be crying in my yogurt about how crappy I feel,
How tired I am,
How shitty my body feels today,
How much I still have to do and have no energy for.

F-CK THAT!
You won’t catch me doing that.

Instead,
Instead you will see me leaning in to the discomfort of
SAYING YES….

YES, to the most important person in this Mother F-cking world.

YES to ME.

Saying YES
to self care,
telling myself that I am worthy,
that I am lovable,
that I am unf-cking stoppable,
that I am powerful,
beautiful,
magnetic
and healthy.

Sh*t Ain’t Going To Get Me Down.
I will step past that “Should Pile” and I will put on my shoes,
eat my yogurt and strawberries,
drink my coffee and water,
write out my commandments of manifestation,
BREATHE in Life.
And SHINE.

Now the ONLY Question of the day that remains,
Is what will you do with your “should pile?”

STOP Stepping in it!
That is what I highly recommend.

And As Always, 
Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.