COMING TOGETHER IN THE WOUND…
OR TOGETHER IN THE HEALING…
We meet our mirrors at different points in time on our life journey.
We are intrigued, even aroused by these meetings.
We sometimes catch the feels,
And get committed.
And often this is the exact case that creates a defined relationship in today’s society.
Two people living thier own life experiences,
Meeting and connecting from thier wounded selves. From a space of feeling broken, fearful, unworthy and incomplete.
And they find themselves drawn into another who is just this as well.
They find this other lost soul who has all these similarities and hopes.
They share thier pain, thier saga and desire to have something more.
And so like magnets they connect.
They feel supported feeding each other the understanding and love that they crave.
They feel seen, heard and like thier mate gets them.
And they do.
Because both are operating from the wound.
The wound remains to a degree for both,
It gets triggered here and there,
Bringing doubt and fear into the hearts of the couple.
But they come together and assure each other that they are there.
And then it happens…
One of them starts to feel better.
Stops masking thier pain,
Stops hiding in thier guilt and suffering and chooses to open up again.
Chooses to breathe life in again.
Choose to heal,
To grow and become whole yet again.
And when this happens thier mate is provided an opportunity to do the same or to burrow themselves into more sadness.
More frustration and fear.
And thus end the relationship.
Because you see when one grows and heals and the other does not then it is the destiny of the relationship to end.
Growth and healing increases your vibration.
It will have you feeling full, in love with life, good about yourself and have you desiring for more in all of your life.
When vibrations increase for one partner but the other does not match vibration any longer then the two will start to experience challenges in connection, understanding each other, there will become an irritation between them like sandpaper and unless one of them does something to change thier frequency then its inevitable that they will split.
Now granted the one who started to grow, heal, transform certainly could hault thier opening. They could work on shrinking themselves again, and grow slower but typically even though this is a possibility it rarely happens because the momentum of growth becomes intoxicating and neither party want a shrinkage to happen.
Even though it quickly becomes evident as to what will occur.
So obviously the best choice to maintain the relationship is for the other partner to take self- responsibility and lean into the scary land of transformation. But its tricky.
They have to lean in because they want the growth for self…
Not just to save the relationship,
Otherwise the vibration will become needy and cause even more irritation between the two.
You cannot lie about your vibration.
And you cannot manipulate your vibration.
On the other spectrum,
Coming together in healing…
Or in growing.
When we meet someone in this place,
Where we are each doing our work,
Learning to take responsibility for self, emotions and actions.
Leaning into our hearts and souls and catching the ego,
When we meet from a place of expansion we find ourselves again feeling deep connection, understanding, love and catching the feels for this other person who is meeting us where we are.
And it feels beautiful.
It feels supportive but not like the crutch of the wounded connection,
Instead supportive from a sense of freedom to be self and to be witnessed just as we are.
This sort of bonding,
As long as both parties continue to love self first, own thier emotions, thoughts and actions and keep leaning into thier individual expansions,
Then they together will connect deeper,
Be witnessed from a truly authentic level,
Experience a quickening in personal growth as well as a melding and accelerated joint growth and transformation which will with its individual vibrational increases also create a worm hole of momentum toward the couples unity.
Here a couple can experience the highest of relationship connectedness in vulnerability, intimacy and authentic unconditional love.
They will be able to cross through challenging waters together because they both built strong individual boats first and are sailing the choppy seas of life side by side, supporting each other but not trying to glue thier boats together in need which only creates instability and weakness in self and relationship.
True mature loving relationship understand and value self and growth first.
They choose to journey together because its a beautiful transformational path to share but they do not need someone by thier side to love the path they are on.
They do what they do because it feels good to them and for them,
Not because they aim to please anyone else.
Look at your relationships of today and yesterday,
Were they founded in the wound or in healing and growth?
What is your desire in your relationship story?
And how is the founding of your current expanding you or holding you back?
Time to get clear.
Time to be real.
Time to connect from strength.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”
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THE PULL OF SOMETHING THAT YOU CANNOT RESIST.
Gravity just is.
You can argue it,
you can try and fight against it.
Resist with all your might.
And much like mother nature,
the sea and the sky,
gravity does not care what is going on in your life, in your emotions, your bank account or with much of anything.
Gravity just is.
You can walk through life unconscious.
You can move with logic and reason,
creating the safest environment possible,
dotting all your “i” and crossing all your “t”
you can be smart AF and do it all right,
but no matter what,
gravity is always there,
and when it wants you to pay attention,
when your soul has had enough of your nonsense of ignoring your path,
denying yourself and your heart,
gravity will come along and quickly remind you of everything that you desire and long for.
Gravity is there pulling you back home.
We humans are really good at separation,
at stepping outside of ourselves,
away from our feelings and hearts,
We are great at saying that things don’t matter.
We do so with wonderful reason of not wanting to be selfish,
not wanting to be “that person” who is an asshole who disregaurds others for the sake of going after the life, the love, the wealth, the whatever we are being pulled toward.
And so we wonder our days shut down and closed off to the beauty of what life has to offer us.
We wonder in fear,
and we repress ourselves into spiritual starvation until we are diseased, depressed, lost and frustrated with no idea of who we are any longer.
And then gravity is there to catch us.
Into its grip we fall from our slumber of avoidance.
And we fall hard most often.
Often we don’t even see gravity coming for us.
It just happens one day.
We wake one morning and we view life differently.
We meet people differently,
our hunger for who we are is just there,
in our face screaming at us and having us do things that we typically would not do.
Having us take action and make plans,
and we still fear the loss of our world that we have created,
but thanks to gravity we are strangely okay with whatever needs to happen, happening.
Gravity has us stop making excuses.
Gravity has us look in the mirror and say who the f-ck are you anyway?
Gravity awakens us to our next best step.
Gravity sets us on our path.
It puts us back to where we need to be.
Here, EMBODIED in self.
Because THIS life,
it’s not anyone else’s life but our own.
We are reminded by these gravitational points in life where we get our polarity adjusted to where it needs to be,
that we are here to live for self.
And in attempting to live for everyone else,
in putting ourselves on the back burner,
on turning or fires down,
on hiding our light,
our hearts, our passions and desires,
that we do no one any favors.
Because we live in a weakened state of being.
We give all our power over to others,
and we no longer remain.
All that we came here to be, to share, to experience in our life vanishes when we stop living for ourselves.
And with it we stay just out of the grasp of what we crave the most.
OUR OWN HAPPINESS.
Living for others and by others will and desires will never bring us happiness.
Living with the fear of the “what if I am who I am,”
no one will accept me here,
no one will love me here,
no one can handle me here.
Living in this fear,
where the only solution is to hide self.
and pretend to be whatever we perceive will keep the peace,
make others happy in the pursuit to make ourselves feel safe and hopefully happy because we feel safe,
simply will not bring what we desire at the end of our days.
Gravity when we open ourselves to those things that pull us in,
calls to us from the wild,
“Come over here.”
And when we listen to the pull,
we move toward the pull,
we run toward the pull,
Those things are catalysts to the life and joy,
the sheer ecstasy that we crave.
Gravity is a sign of our path home to self.
Back to our power.
Back to our souls and hearts.
Pay attention to the gravitational pull,
it is there for a significant reason.
It is calling you home.
Few things in this life will have a strong gravitational pull,
but those that do are worth the attention,
Run toward them.
You will discover the life, the love, the wealth that you have always dreamed of here,
here in your home.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
It’s time to receive the lover of your dreams.
It’s time to stop fearing the what ifs.
It’s time to say yes to your F-ck Yes Life,
Now and forever more.
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TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS BECOMING EVIDENT
There is a necessary evil,
A violence in discovery.
And we don’t want to face its existence.
But that does not change the fact that it is there and it is necessary.
For us to evolve, to expand and awaken we must come to terms with it.
For when we awaken, and stand on the brink of the world that we once knew and the world that awaits us, we will feel torn apart at our very existence.
We will seize to exist as we have been and we will be forced to recognize who we are at our core.
It will be terrifying and beautiful.
And we must storm with courage toward it if we are to have the life that we desire that we were born to live.
The defiance of such will cause your utter destruction and yet by leaning into the fires of your purification and awakening to your power you will expect the same.
And to a degree you are accurate.
However without this destruction of the old self,
Of the world that you cling so tightly too,
You will never have anything that your soul desires and was born to live for.
You will be no more,
Only leaving in your place a skeleton of who you actually are.
Hungry to have flesh on your bones,
You will wonder the world aimlessly,
Depressed, anxious and fearful.
Lost in the world and in yourself.
You will mimic and hide under the masks of those you envy.
Not knowing self.
And here is where you must stand,
Stand for you my love.
Know your worth.
Have grace for where you have been.
Take stance to where you are going,
Set free your inner child,
Set free the wolves of your soul and let your heart escape its bounds and shackles.
The day is afresh,
Your life is before you,
The new world is calling.
Go unto her my love.
She hungers to give to you.
She wants to swallow you up in her rhythm and song,
Have you dance upon her flesh,
And laugh into her mysteries.
But you must claim it.
You must allow it and demand for it.
It will never be handed to you without your asking.
But once asked for it will be given.
You are the seeker,
Do not remain blind any longer.
You are walking the tightrope of your life,
Which way will you fall?
It is time that you see one way is up and the other down.
You have heaven and hell at your feet.
It is time to choose.
Will you settle for what you have always known?
Or will you awaken and see the evidence of your soul’s arrival.
The shifting in time.
You are being called too.
The angels support you.
Your shadow fears.
It is not of creator,
Not your truth or destiny.
Turn away and run toward the path.
Where two different worlds become evident.
Lest you let go of the reigns of your very life to salvage what will have you lost and hungry.
Broke and battered by the currents of this chaotic world.
Washing and racking you upon its treacherous shores.
You will not be able any longer to have discernment, nor love.
Compassion will fall to the side and you will be haunted by its remembrance.
This is the life that you fight for.
This Is the war on self and soul.
Can you survive?
Make amends today my love,
And open your wings to the heavens.
Drop the skeletons that you believe are yours,
And enter your rightful place.
You are worthy, beautiful and strong.
Time to own your reality.
Set free the prisoner,
The prisoner that is you.
It’s time to claim your life,
Now and forever.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
LIVING FOR SELF.
One of the hardest lessons I keep learning in this lifetime is just this.
The constant reminder that we are truly not here for anyone’s else’s happiness but our own.
Its a difficult lesson,
Because we are trained from our birth forward that putting others feelings, well being and happiness “should” always come before our own.
However the reality is not so.
You will never find happiness or fulfillment in putting yourself on the back burner of your own life.
We are all here for the same reason,
To expand and thrive.
Through our wanting for more in our life experiences we expand the universe.
It is through our conscious creation and desire that life manifests and we create everything that is, that was and ever will be.
We grow this desire and our wanting by experience of all that we do not want for,
Such as lack in any subject area that we want abundance in.
But for us to have the life that we are desiring we MUST become the person who can take hold of it. Meaning WE have to grow ourselves.
We have to become our truest self and get into alignment with out desires.
As vibrational beings this means that we HAVE TOO PUT OUR HAPPINESS FIRST.
No more playing around and taking responsibility for everyone else’s joy while we sit in toxity of giving our last drop of us to this other who at the end of the day cannot even fully gain happiness through our exhaustion.
Sure we can offset anothers sadness or life issues to a degree,
But cannot eternally fix anyone else’s shit.
We cannot actually make anyone else happy for the long haul.
Just like gratitude, love and the feeling of abundance is an inside job. All we can do is assist someone feeling those things in the short term, but if they do not find it within and know thier own worthiness then at the slighted retraction of our energy,
They will fall the fuck apart.
This is how you know that someone has become dependent on your energy.
Not realizing it often when we are in this state of dependence we are actually being what is known as an energy vampire,
One you must feed on the kindness,
The love, the empathy, and even the sadness or anger of another to keep themselves stable in life.
Those who are not acting from thier authentic selves, who are out of alignment with God thus thier own soul and who do not know themselves, love themselves, often are guilty consciously and subconsciously of doing this.
And they can make those around them feel guilty for thier life misery. They will play and toil with others emotions, acting the victim and helpless lost soul just to get thier feeding.
But this is where we all must realize that NONE OF US are here to save anyone else.
And we cannot even help them save themselves if we do not care for self first.
Its just like the speech we have all heard on the airplane at take off about the oxygen masks.
“Put it on yourself first before helping anyone else, including your child.”
This is because you are of zero help if you can’t breathe, if you are passed out or worse dead.
And the same applies to our day to day life and relationships.
You are of zero use if you exhaust yourself to the point of fatigue, disease and illness, depression all under the belief structure that you need to put every other asshole on this planet in front of self.
You MUST LIVE FOR SELF.
You must get selfish and love yourself enough to say no to everyone,
Especially when they are playing on your emotions and hoping you will feed them.
They need to learn how to love themselves enough to align the fuck up to source and not need your beautiful ass anymore.
They need to take fucking responsibility for thier own lives and energy.
For thier emotions.
And stop handing over the reigns to each and every Joe that passes by.
And you my dear,
You need to just do the same.
Its time to take back your power.
Take back your life.
Take back your energy and LOVE YOU.
Because baby you are so worthy of being in alignment and feeling fucking awesome.
You are worthy of living the life that you desire.
You are worthy of happiness, love and abundance.
Well being and satisfaction of who you are.
But you will never get any of this as long as you keep sacrificing your energy for all the vampires that you love.
Stop enabling them,
And start being you.
With all my love on this transitional day.
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers
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I absolutely HATE being controlled.
I dislike having to seek approval from another to just f-cking be me.
You know what I mean?
How do you feel about that?
Needing validation from another to be/do/have the things in your life that you just want.
That you enjoy.
That makes your life yours.
That make you,
But this is how we live out our lives.
We run around seeking for validation,
which is just another way of saying that we are asking for others permission to live our life,
or to be us.
And that has ALWAYS seemed a bit crazy to me.
10 year old Kendal, did not want to do this.
16 year old Kendal, certainly did not want to do this,
to the point that I found away to get homeschooled when homeschool was not a thing.
20 year old Kendal, figuring out the adulting thing did not enjoy this and quit her job because of this.
34 year old Kendal hated it so much that she left her husband for it.
well yeah… that shiz just don’t fly.
I still hate being controlled,
if you want me to do something,
control me in the opposite and I am sure to move the direction away from the control ( unless I see the manipulation and that is a totally different story),
But in truth what I dislike is not so much the control, but having to do what I don’t want to do.
I do not like having to do things that do not feel good to me for where I am at RIGHT NOW.
If it feels good and in alignment,
THEN SIGN ME THE F-CK UP!
If not then know I will change directions on you so quick your head will spin.
And I have been guilty of this all my life.
I have been called naive,
I have been told that I am flighty and flaky,
that I have commitment issues,
that I am lost.
The reality is far simpler than any of these options,
the truth is, I know, like I have always known that if I am not a F-ck Yes! to it then why do it.
And I change gears based on my authentic yes or no to something.
Sometimes that means that I cancel things.
Sometimes that means that I say I am going to get something done and then I do something else.
Sometimes it means that I have to own where I am at that I simply am no longer in alignment to whatever it was that I had agreed too.
And I get that the world does not like it when people operate on these sort of guidelines that I do.,
I understand that it goes compleletly against what we are taught.
But it works.
And for those of us out there that are self learners and thinkers,
that know beyond a doubt that our feelings and thoughts are what create our reality, that are not average and ordinary,
well guess what?
This is often what you will get.
What is often perceived as:
Because we get that what makes us feel good,
that living according to our souls calling and being fully in alignment to that,
is ALL the F-ck that matters.
We get that being selfish is where it is at.
Because selfishness is not evil,
What is evil is living in fear and scarcity.
That is not of God.
We understand that yes it takes courage to live like this, because the world has not been raised to handle our kind,
the world focused on the sheeple mentality,
the mentality of keeping you in fear and scarcity.
On the concept that you are to put EVERYONE before you and that some effing way THIS will bring you joy, happiness and all your heart desires,
But don’t you ask for anything because that’s wrong.
Think of others ALWAYS first.
Take from self until you have nothing more to give.
Until your vessel is so empty you are lost.
This is what you are here for.
And that is all wrong I tell you.
God does not want you living in fear and scarcity.
God wants you to be wanting.
It is in your wanting that the universe expands and evolves,
it is through you that we all grow.
And if you fall prey to the concept that living your life based on the permission of someone else is what you are to do,
that validating yourself through the ideas, beliefs and desires of another is what you are here for,
to be servant to them and cast yourself aside,
then well baby you are simply wrong.
You can never fill another’s glass from your empty pitcher.
This means you MUST approach life from a more selfish manner and learn how to take care of you.
You say that you want to manifest all this abundance,
the love and connection,
the freedom and opportunities,
you say that you want to be able to make a massive impact on the world,
to touch lives,
to help others heal,
or to lead the people in your life to a happy way of being.
Well then you gotta quit on this concept of living from the permission of others.
You will NEVER know your own worthiness or value if you rely on somelese to tell it to you.
If you are looking for the pat on the head from another to tell you that you are on the right path or doing good,
needing that validation,
then you will forever fall for whatever someone else deems acceptable for your life.
Sad but true.
Cuz’ you see baby,
it’s all up to you loving you enough to stop the crazy concept that you need validated and permission for being you.
You were born worthy luv.
But you gotta accept that.
And it starts with you knowing that by doing all the damn things that you keep doing that you hate,
that makes you feel like shit about yourself,
that makes you fear,
that causes you separation from your truth,
is the culprit to the suffering and void that you feel.
You must start living according to you.
And no one else.
You see when you feel those negative emotions,
those emotions are ONLY there to tell you one MF thing.
YOU ARE NOT IN YOUR TRUTH.
YOU ARE NOT LIVING ACCORDING TO YOUR SOUL.
YOU ARE OUT OF ALIGNMENT WITH GOD.
These are not you and they are not for you,
that is why you are feeling like shit baby.
But you have to start interpreting these emotions correctly in order to navigate yourself the right direction.
You must realize that you are here to want and desire.
You are here to love.
You are here to experience.
You are here to connect.
You are here to share.
You are here to BE YOU.
And if you can get this point, ‘then you join the 0.01% of the world that gets it.
You join those of us who are THRIVING and LIVING as intended.
And if you continue to choose otherwise,
but expect different results,
well let’s just say that, that might be kind of silly, right?
Because as long as you keep doing your stinking thinking and needing someone else to validate your existence for you then you will remain unhappy and lost and most likely not very successful in many subject areas of your life.
And I don’t want that for you.
I believe you are worthy.
That we all are worthy.
And that God wants you to THRIVE.
But you have to believe it too.
And want it.
And have the COURAGE to claim it.
SAY AMEN OR YES IN THE COMMENTS IF YOU WANT TO CLAIM THAT LIFE OF YES FOR YOU NOW.
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Let’s get you saying yes to you once and for all .
You can have it.
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WHAT IF ONE PERCEIVED BAD EGG CHANGED THE WORLD FOR THE BETTER?
Let’s consider this craziness for a second, shall we?
Many years ago, I was studying the ancient spiritual science of kabbalah, it was a powerful tool of deep revelation that I still use daily today and have based much of my works on.
I recall my teacher sharing a tale that went something like this:
“There was a man whose son was dying. He went to the doctor and the doctor told him there was nothing more that could be done for the boy, all he could do was pray. The man being a wise man and understanding the power of the light
(good), decided that there WAS SOMETHING MORE that could be done and he set off that very night to find three men to pray with him.
Now you may think he ventured out to find three holy men, wise and religious men, men who believed and did good daily,
this is not at all what he chose to do.
He went looking for three men who were rugged and lost in their ways, who were considered “bad or evil even.”
And he found them.
to each man he pleased to come sit and pray over his boy,
and somehow he convinced these men who were robbers, rapists and murderers to come and sit by his dying son’s bed and pray with him.
And they did.
All the towns people thought him crazy,
a fearful, sad and desperate man of a dying boy.
They believed that he had totally lost his mind.
The bad men and the father sat that very night by the boy’s bed, they bowed their heads and they focused on their prayers for healing for the boy.
The night grew into day and the men stayed with the father and his son praying.
When the sun rose,
the boy awoke as well from his slumbers of illness.
He stood and he walked about, hugged his father,
he was saved.
The prayer had been answered.
The boy was healed.
He was going to live.
And the men who prayed over him were forever changed as well.”
The moral of this tale that was shared with me some many years ago is simple.
When one, two or even three bad eggs who find it natural to do evil and sin turn toward the light and choose to do good,
no matter the reason in that moment,
they open themselves up to be a humongous vessel of good.
They are a powerful catalyst to change, to healing and growth.
You see for all those who do good in this world,
their ego or darkside is just as large as that brilliant good side that they choose to live in,
and the same is equally true for those who live in their ego or shadow self, the light that can be revealed from them is GREAT.
And when they do so they become a great moment of positive force.
In our recent world times we are witnessing just this.
There is massive destruction happening in one way and there is massive healing and awareness in another.
Due to one man.
Now the message that he has highlighted for not just the USA but the world at this time is a message and awareness that has needed to be brought into the light for centuries.
But if we look at this man who seems to be a catalyst for world change and awareness about racism and violence against color,
we will discover a man that is less than a good doer.
No this man who is changing the world for the better with his life that was taken and his final statement of,
” I can’t breathe.”
He was certainly no Martin Luther King Jr.
He served much time in prison and jail.
He did many very bad things to good people.
And none of this is being spoken of at great length.
And you know what?
Because it’s not about his track record.
It’s about the purpose of his life that is greater than what of us can fully understand in the midst of this chaos and rage.
The message that is being sung around the world today,
it is about him being a catalyst to change,
even though he most likely had no clue about what his life was actually going to do.
His death is SAVING LIVES.
Making changes to our world for the better.
And although his death is wrongful in every way, due to it, our world has hit a tipping point.
God works in mysterious ways they say.
And perhaps this is evidence of one of those ways.
We have a grander purpose then we realize,
no matter our history,
our race, religion, sex, wounds, income or education.
We all have a mission in this game of life,
and if you think that someone died without meaning,
Change is upon us.
Awareness is happening in multiple subject areas of our lives.
And with awareness grows understanding, love, compassion, freedom, connection, humanity.
We as a world GOT THIS.
Amended due to comments shared from readers who misunderstood my intent and words and missed my direct statement.
In ABSOLUTELY NO WAY am I condemning Floyd’s wrongful death nor any other. Nor am I trying to spiritually bypassing anything.
If you choose to read above fully,
You will see clearly that I am saying that it’s awesome that his past is not coming up for debate as much as one might expect it too, considering everything that has been shared about it.
That this matter is NOT about his track record.
I am simply seeing the truth of our world being at a critical point, similar to what we had happening in 1968, where we have in our face the realness that what should no longer be an issue, still is. And that is wrong and sad.
No one should have to fear their day to day lives as I witness so many black Americans doing. Skin color should never be a deciding factor for anything, and police brutality has skyrocketed yet again toward blacks especially
I am also not saying that his purpose was to die to make this happen nor that he chose it. But instead stating that, at least his death is the straw that broke the camel’s back for us in 2020. Positive transformation seems to be coming from his death, and if one is killed or died of unnatural causes then at least let’s see that there can be something positive rise from the wrong doing.
I stand by my statement of awareness is happening.
It is greatly needed.
No human being of any race, sex, belief should live in fear of doing life’s simplest everyday events. Our police are here to serve and protect and although many officers are good, many have lost their way and are not serving and protecting but using their badges in a sick power play on civilians.
It is time for change.
Good Morning Beautiful!
How did you sleep?
Were your slumbers restful and pleasant or did they have you tossing in your bed?
Did you wake refreshed, vibrant and charged for this day or are you among the many of the walking dead,
those who cannot bear the idea of waking because it’s just another groundhog day?
Day in and day out,
the same events,
the same stories,
the same people.
Waking with a feeling of “why?”
And does any of it,
Especially me, even matter?
Looking about your life and questioning if anyone truly cares.
Or are they only there for what you have to offer,
at their convenience.
Yes, you know that feeling.
That feeling of,
“Nobody sees me. Nobody loves me. Nobody cares.”
This beautiful is the Land of Nobody.
And it is not a pretty place to reside.
It is not a place that you can manifest your dreams from,
it will never call into your life your ideal lover,
the money that you crave for,
the health or success.
It will never bear the fruit of happiness.
Because you see beautiful,
the Land of Nobody,
is a fictitious land that you have created your misery from.
It is a land that you have bought into,
because it is what you feel comfortable in.
I just said that beautiful.
The Land of Nobody is one that brings you comfort.
That is a hard pill to swallow I know.
But it is so true.
Just as true as it is that this land will not bring you what you claim you want for,
and most certainly will not bring you what your soul is calling you toward,
and you see THAT is exactly why you are feeling so lost in yourself,
uncared for or valued.
And it is from this place of “UN” that you keep calling in the evidence to support your comfort in suffering.
You feel all the “UN” because IT IS NOT TRUE.
Your soul KNOWS differently.
Your soul see’s who you really are and what your life has to offer,
but you are withholding yourself from all your glory by focusing in on the finding of the evidence,
the proving to yourself and anyone who will listen,
that you are in the Land of Nobody wants me.
And the sad truth beautiful is that as long as you sit here,
focused on the “UN” and the nobody with such passion,
you will NEVER be able to “fix” the problem of what you are manifesting.
You will never feel loved.
You will never feel valued.
You will never feel wanted.
From this space.
And you will certainly not attract anyone into your world that will “MAKE YOU” feel that way.
Because you have created and keep creating a great momentum around not having it show up for you,
that even when the universe/God sends things into your life,
to show you how abundant and loved you really are,
you reject them by looking the other way,
or pushing your will onto life in an attempt to control it and “make it” happen,
thus supporting your need to show that you can’t have it without a fight.
Your belief is that life is hard.
That you must suffer.
That you have to work hard to get things that you want.
Your belief is that life is out to get you in some fashion and does not have your back.
But that belief is just a thought that you keep active by focusing on finding evidence for it.
You “think” it is such and therefore it is.
But you have to change the thoughts in your head,
and the way you are feeling about your life.
You have the WAKE THE F-CK UP.
And start witnessing what could be by putting your focus on that and then not trying to force it into existence.
God/Universe does not like being controlled like that,
Does not like having its hands tied,
and if you keep tieing them then you will keep getting what you have been,
because what you want for gets offered day in and day out,
opportunities to have it knock at your door,
but you keep your door locked up tight not allowing the Universe/God to reveal to you your value, your worthiness.
So if you won’t let the energy that has created universes to show you a brilliant life worth living and enjoying,
and all your dreams manifesting,
then how the f-ck do you ever expect the people in your life to show it to you?
YOU BEAUTIFUL have to open up to it.
You are the only one who can access any of it.
Putting your needs and desires onto others and then getting mad that they won;t do what you want,
when you want,
how you want,
is a self-centered, spoiled, egotistical action.
And will only keep providing you with not having.
So if you are among the millions who woke up today,
focused on not having what you want in life,
feeling like you are unloved,
Then this message is directed at you.
Because I fully understand that feeling of “UN”
that feeling of walking around the Land of Nobody,
and I can tell you that no solution or joy ever came from this place.
And we each may venture into this land every now and then,
but it is up to us,
and ONLY US,
venture right back out.
So take back your power beautiful,
stop handing it over to the ebbs of your life,
stop looking to not be supported,
and instead KNOW that you are with certainty.
Know that you are loved,
because you love yourself enough to wake the f-ck up and feel it for yourself,
you love yourself enough to stop disrespecting your life,
and instead to open up to it and receive its glory.
You are worthy beautiful.
You are loved.
You are appreciated and valued.
Venture In Certainty for what you want not what you fear.
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Let’s do this!
You and me,
Break free from your shiz once and for all and fall in love with the dynamic, powerhouse that YOU are.
No one is like you.
And you have a life worth sharing,
You have one life love.
Let’s make it a F-ck Yes! One NOW.
Message me for deet’s on how to do this.
How do you define your reality?
Many years ago I was attending a study group consistently focused on the technology of the soul.
In my study, I was consistently asked to witness my ego,
to see my shadow side and to know that I could never destroy it. That it was going to grow and expand side by side to my light, to my soul.
It was revealed to me in this four year in depth training that all of my suffering was by my choice. That I could let my ego feel the pain and recognize it as such,
or I could have soul damage and wounding by not letting my soul shine and speak its truth.
Now this may be a difficult conversation for some to understand. And this particular musing is not going to go into depth on it as I would do with a private client of mine,
However, the point that I wish to share with you here is one of great importance if you are among the many in the world who crave for a better life.
We get to choose.
The bible referred to this as free will.
And what is meant by this is that we have the creative ability, the power to define our reality through our will.
To define our purpose through our will means to focus our desire.
To understand that we are the co-creator of the life that we are living and that our consciousness and perspective on our life experience is what creates it.
The life that you are living right now,
did not occur right now.
It was created by the thoughts you have been thinking,
and your feelings toward those thoughts.
The pictures that you have been day dreaming or day nightmaring about.
Your reality has been manifested by your focus.
By your will.
And here is where the tough shiz happens.
It’s the reality check about your reality.
If you want to have a flowing, life based in ease,
in beauty, and love.
Where you are not attracting the drastic contrasting situations and experiences, but instead perhaps work out your contracting visions quickly with a thought or inner conversation that you let go of quickly,
then you MUST get real about who is creating your reality.
So back to the question of today.
How do you define your reality?
If I were to ask you to list three to five words or sentences that define your reality what would you say?
Perhaps you should take a moment right now to jot those down. And once you have them in writing, in front of your face where you cannot argue what your words are,
I want you to ask if this reality that you are defining is:
👉 Real – are you living it now. Are you feeling it at your core if it is not currently manifest.
👉Is this reality supportive of your best life.
👉your truth and beliefs or someone else’s.
A Lot of the time we lie to ourselves.
We look at inquiry like what I have given you here today,
and we know what we “should” be answering and so because we view it as a test,
and everyone wants to do good on the test,
we answer what we know or think the “right” responses are instead of what our truth is.
And here is how you can tell if you are doing this.
Look at what is showing up in your world consistently.
If what you are writing and what you have showing up are polar different,
then guess what?
It’s time for a REALITY CHECK,
because the last one you did was not real.
You were telling fibs to yourself love,
because it hurt.
It hurt to see your truth. It hurt to see the brutalities that you may have been painting for yourself.
It hurt that what is showing up is not as bad as what you keep painting and you just don’t feel worthy of a good life so you gotta create some drama,
so you paint some tales in your head about struggle.
Perhaps, you have a bunch of people in your life that are struggling and you just don’t fit in with them,
so you shrink yourself and make up a shitty tale to match,
to fit in.
Not realizing that if you keep telling yourself these crap tales that you will over time start to believe them at a core level and manifest them.
Maybe you are painting a beautiful picture,
one where you have the love,
the health and opportunities that you want,
but what keeps showing up is nothing of the sort.
And you wonder why.
And the why is simple luv,
You don’t believe that you are worthy of the pictures and statements that you are creating.
And what you have materializing is what you believe you are worthy of.
This is that shadow self that I was speaking of earlier,
this is where we have to let ourselves feel the pain,
but let it be held by our ego’s.
That simply means to step out of the comfort of doing what you always do which is, make excuses and come up with reasons,
and in turn have the will to move toward what you want for.
This will require you to consistently witness your ego,
witness your fear,
witness your desire to control,
witness your foul concepts of self and others,
watch the words that you speak and that you chatter on with in your head and how they make you feel,
and consistently ask yourself if it is true or not.
You must be willing to call yourself out of the darkness and into the light.
And it is going to hurt like a motherf-cker luv.
But you are worth it.
Your other choice is to let your soul suffer and carry with it the wounds of not living the life that you were called to live,
to continue to shrink yourself,
no matter the reason,
and to never taste the glory that you were born to enjoy.
How do you define your reality?
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.
It is time that you say YES to you.
Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.
Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.
So there I was leg up on the lip of my shower,
shaving the back of my thigh,
hot water washing down my back,
irritating me because it was washing out my conditioner prematurely,
when it came to me.
I figured out why I have a resistance to love.
Not just to love,
but to allowing myself to fall deeply,
penetratively in love with my man,
with my life,
I was flabbergasted at my realization. 🤦♀️
How could I be so silly to not have caught this before.
Perhaps I was just unwilling to see it.
Perhaps I was not ready to fully let go.
Perhaps a whole lot of shit to be frank about it,
and the reality is simple.
have been holding myself back from the feelings and experiences that I have desired for the last two plus years almost.
Crazy as it sounds.
It is true.
And thanks to my shower today and now nicely shaved legs,
I was blessed with the ability to change it.
Because you see you cannot change something until you awaken to the fact that it needs changed in the first place.
Which is why life is the way that it is.
Sure we get ample opportunity to see what needs to happen,
we feel it at our cores often,
but we humans tend to disregard anything that is not smack dab in our faces presenting a challenge.
AKA a PROBLEM.
Which is why we create problems for ourselves.
We need them to expand.
To grow and to create the life that we are called to live.
Problems allow us to witness what needs attention,
what needs improvement,
And often they rise up from our “feelings”
yes those nasty things that we are told to not pay much attention too because they will misguide us.
But the reality is that our feelings are there to guide us.
They are there to tell us when we are not in alignment to our souls path.
And that causes us pain.
Of some sort.
So what do we do?
We get into a sticky painful situation,
and we COMMIT to change our evil ways.
We commit to work harder.
To not trust so easily.
To take better care of our bodies and our hearts.
We commit to trying harder.
And the list goes on.
And don’t get me wrong, commitments make our realities.
However, the trick is knowing what you committed to and if the commitment is in alignment with your soul’s desire.
You see, this commitment that I made about two and half years ago, was not ultimately in alignment with my heart or soul. It was a commitment made out of pain.
Intense pain, my heart was breaking and I was scared and angry at this for happening. I was not understanding why it was happening or how this could even be. And in my suffering I stated to the person who I blamed with great emotional attachment,
” I will NEVER love again.”
I went on to tell him that I would never trust a man again or surrender the way I had with him, that if this is what it got me then it was too big a price to pay and I was committing to not not allow myself to get hurt again at this level.
You may think that those were just words,
that I could just ignore and carry on.
That someone awesome could turn around and walk into my life and change my commitment.
perhaps that might be so.
But it has not been so for me.
Instead my other commitments to myself that I wrote down prior to this one above, started to knock heads with this commitment and even though I had manifested a wonderful man into my world,
not just any man BTW,
but a man that I scripted out in my journal and who has 75% of my list of desires in a man,
yeah… not bad for a day’s worth of journaling work.
Yeah, not even he could break through this commitment to love.
And so, it has been that the last two years I have consistently kept myself “safe from love” not allowing myself to feel what I have wanted to feel fully and getting repeatedly upset with the world and my life and soul because of it but not catching the root of my issue.
This morning as I thought about it,
and as life would have it all week long,
I have had plenty of opportunity to read through old journal entries as I clean up areas of my home.
My soul most certainly is on a mission to CONFIRM to me that I am really great at holding commitment to myself.
Especially commitments made with strong emotional attachment.
A few years back,
when I was struggling financially to get over the $100k a year mark in my practice, I committed to myself and wrote it faithfully for months on end in my journal that,
“I commit to make no less than $95,000 a year from this moment forward.”
That year I made $146k.
And I have not looked back since.
I also wrote,
” I commit to having my schedule booking out 4 months in advance.”
And it still remains so that my schedule is booking 4 to 6 month in advance.
” I commit to being recognized on TV.”
And shortly thereafter, was called by Lifetime TV to work on an episode of Married at First Sight.
My list of commitments is long.
My list of emotionally supported commitments is long.
Some emotions however, support my soul’s desires.
And some do not.
My shower realization is that although commitments are thought to be a good thing,
and they most certainly do mean the world.
That what we as individuals need to understand,
is the true power of our words.
Of our commitments to self.
And what we say in passion sticks with us and sometimes can get buried under our day to day lives and thoughts.
Sometimes these commitments we carry for a lifetime,
and they can be the root cause to us not thriving no matter how hard we work,
to not feeling love, no matter how hard we love,
to not feeling safe,
no matter how hard we try and make ourselves trust.
Commitments make our realities.
Let’s start being conscious of them,
and changing the ones that no longer serve.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Watch: Say It With Me!Commit to NOT Lick Your Phone
Take advantage right now of a lifetime opportunity to work with me in my intensive 4 week mastermind where you get to work 1:1 with me to learn the keys that I woke up to back in 2009 and changed my whole life outcome with. Let me guide you through the turbulence of the storms and show you the power of letting go of fear so that you can create the life of dreams, you know that you desire and deserve it. Let’s make it happen. Message me for deet’s