You Are Right, You Do Not Deserve It!

Let me ask you this, are you:

Shamelessly stepping into your success?

Shamelessly stepping into your abundance?

Shamelessly Saying YES to Yourself?

At our core if we don’t feel worthy, then we are not going to receive. Because we are not going to allow ourselves to receive.

We all battle worthiness issues. I know I do.

We are told that we should not focus on self. To love self is almost condemned in our society. It is crazy to think that it is far more accepted  to hate on yourself than to love yourself. But we are shamed for doing just this.

If we “think to much of ourselves.”

If we ” love on ourselves.”

If we ” speak to highly of ourselves.” 

We are shamed.

Don’t be selfish.

Don’t be self-centered.

Many of us were told that to be self-less was the desired path.

That we are to give of ourselves until we can give no more.

And that we should be able to keep giving and not need any replenishment of any kind, especially any self- love, care or acceptance.

And MOST certainly NO BRAGGING!

The thing is, you cannot consistently give at any decent level if you are not receiving some form of nurturing, love or pleasure. You must receive and feed yourself in order to be able to take care of others or achieve any sort of result you may desire in life.

You must allow yourself to receive love, care and other things in order to keep yourself in a state of being able to give and do.

And RECEIVE.

So here you go.  What I am speaking about is worthiness.

And what that comes down too is being selfish.

At our core we HAVE to have worthiness in order to create all our dreams, accept love, receive any abundance or success.

Even most of your needs will not come to you if you have worthiness issues.

Have you ever noticed that when something good just happens out of the blue, you know when you have that really good luck drop on you, how it is hard to believe that it did.

You cant believe that you had that sort of good luck.

You cant believe that you got that blessing.

You cant believe that you had that miracle happen.

Do you feel like these events are coincidences?

Or do you send out gratitude and stand in expectation for more because you KNOW  that you are worthy?

If your anything like the majority of peeps out there you most likely live in a state of lack of belief that you deserve anything. Which is where the shock of the good shit happening to you comes in. That is that, “Woohoo, OMG! moment.” Yes in this moment of praise you are excited but unbelieving that you are worthy of such yummie gifts from God. When we step into this pattern of disbelief and say such things as, “ I cannot believe this happened to me.” you are showing your lack of worthiness in the blessing.

Well, is it your true lack of worthiness or is it your belief that you are not worthy?

In those experiences and events you are stating that you don’t deserve this goodness to come into your lives.

BUT in TRUTH YOU DO!

When I use words such as gratitude and expectation or child like enthusiasm what I am saying to you is that THIS is a true state of worthiness. It is the act of receiving our blessings and knowing that there is more to come, because more is already coming.

The ONLY way those blessings will not show up is if you have doubt that they will. If you believe that God will not provide for you and that God is somehow wanting you to suffer.

Imagine if you put as much faith and expectation into having abundance in life as you do about living in scarcity?

What would your life be like?

I can tell you what it would be like because I have shifted my own personal shit around this topic and went from raising five children on welfare, in a bad marriage, starting to have health issues, and only having a household income of $17,000. Constantly struggling, moving from house to house, never knowing if the power or water would be on or if I could afford the basics for my family to having stability, savings, debt freedom, incredible loving relationships all around, a multi-six figure income, travel, a clean bill of health and living what I call a F*ck YES! life

This is what happens when you start to love yourself.

This is what happens when you start  to appreciate yourself.

This is what happens when you understand that God is great and wants your greatness to shine as well.

This is what happens when you heal your shame and embrace your worthiness.

You MUST CLAIM YOUR LIFE though.

You MUST start to say yes to taking care of yourself and STOP holding on so firmly to the reigns of fearful control and instead open your arms up and embrace the blessings that are falling all around you.

If you continue to condemn yourself then you will continue to remain in victim status in your life and will NEVER reap the bounties of joy, love, abundance and health that is RIGHT before you.  You will continue to feel disconnected, unloved, unworthy, lost and even forgotten.

Life will become all about duty and responsibility.

It will be filled with stress, anxiety, fear and depression.

But it does not have to be that way!

NO!!!!!! 

You can have everything RIGHT NOW by simply loving yourself and expecting miracles, expecting blessings, expecting in FAITH that it is not just coming, but already here.

That is the ONLY trick that you have to learn.

In order to achieve this though you must do these three things:

  1. Pay attention to the mental masturbation you have going on. The chaotic, fear based thoughts that you find yourself dancing with all day. Do you wake up to these thoughts? Do you fall asleep to them? Today commit to starting your day by saying 5 things you are grateful for and end the day as you lay your head down to sleep with five things that you are in gratitude for having happen in the day. This simple practice will change your world and quickly help you feel more worth in receiving abundance.
  2. You must accept RIGHT NOW that self-esteem comes from no where else but inside you.  You must accept yourself without complaint and be willing to work on all aspects of self without contempt or lapse into negativity. This means take FULL responsibility for your life and what is and is not in it.  Focus on removing your ego’s dominant need to cast blame.
  3. Stop feeling guilty about having good shit happen. Stop shrinking down your blessings and feeling like you “should” not have what you have.  You must commit to no longer accept guilt into your life. If you are feeling guilty about things that you have done in  your past dig a little deeper and realize that what you most likely are calling guilt may be remorse instead. With regret we gain a learning opportunity, with guilt we are in a state of reproach.

CLAIM YOUR LIFE TODAY!

Claim your worthiness by saying YES to yourself NOW

Love yourself one mustard seed worth of what God loves you and watch abundance fill your life. 

 

-KW

 

 

 

#1 Key to the Life You Desire to Live.

The last few months I have spent a great amount of time looking at my life. I have examined and prayed. I have cried out in joy and suffering.  I have rejoiced and I have damned.  However through it all I have held gratitude at my core.

It has taken me many a folly to truly understand that gratitude is the one true key to a life full of blessing.

Many years ago I came to realize that our callings, our purpose you might say are buried within our wounds. Those things in life that have caused us so much pain have also served to bring forth, if we allow ourselves to see and feel it, our greatest purpose. It is within these times of great mourning that we discover who we really are and how great the divine is. It is in these supposed weak moments in our lives where we feel perhaps like we have been cast into the shadows and are unwanted and undeserving that we can discover the greatest of love. It is here through the act of self- forgiveness and love that we meet our maker within ourselves.

When we practice the “F” word – FORGIVENESS, we open ourselves up to the miracle of love.  Forgiveness is seated with gratitude, and in our ability to find gratitude for even the most evil of ills that our lives might be blessed with we discover our nature. We discover that which can either tear us apart or make us whole.

No two humans will ever suffer the same. We may walk in similar shoes of pain but we will never suffer the same. Therefore it is up to no one to cast judgement on another for how they choose to process through anything, whether it be the loss of a job, a relationship, a child, a rape or something else. But one thing is for certain, in these times of great  depression and uncertainty we still have the ability to lean into love. Many of us choose, at least for a time frame to lean into victim-hood and hate. We choose to be conquered by these miseries and to cast an evilness out of ourselves to show our pain. Feeling that there is no love inside of us to attach to, that we had it coming or are not worthy of anything more than suffering we cower to the fear of the chaos that our lives have been  thrown into and we lean into our egos. We swear off forgiveness, we turn away from love and we most certainly find no gratitude for the misery that we are sitting in.

This is a natural part of the process of recovering and healing.  However shit  happens to all of us. There is no one on this planet that will not suffer, and suffer greatly at some point in their existence here on earth. The one thing that we can control is how long we choose to sit in our pain and allow it to run our lives. The next thing that we have control over is how we choose to stand in it. We CAN make the conscious choice to find forgiveness and love or to remain caught in the grasp of hatred and suffering.

Our hatred may  seem to make us strong, but it is a false strength. One that is only eating off of our own love and once it succeeds at killing our connection and joy it will parish like ash in a rain storm.

So why put your hope in something that does not serve you but only wishes to control you?

I write this article the day after Thanksgiving and my heart bears with it much pain from recent months and the years that have past.  I grieve the loss of moments with my children, the loss of time with my mother who suffers from dementia, I grieve the loss of a love that opened me so wide and the loss of children I will never know. I feel the pain in my womb from a rape by a stranger of many years back and the fear that rolled through me when my lover became a monster and forced himself upon me. I feel the hatred toward my parents for ignoring my cries to be loved and seen, approved of and accepted. I feel the disappointment of loosing a house in foreclosure and having to rob my child’s piggy bank for change to buy milk. I feel the frustration and bitterness of looking a partner in the eye as they drank themselves into oblivion and said I was making it up. I feel the sorrow of having to put a beloved cat down. I feel the terror of breaking a heart that does not deserve to be broken. I feel the worry and fear of potentially loosing a child right in front of my eyes….

I feel all of this pain and more.

And yet I choose LOVE.

I choose GRATITUDE.

I choose FORGIVENESS.

I do not wake with thoughts of all of these things. No, instead I wake and before my feet hit the ground I call out a prayer to God from my heart center in gratitude for waking. I call out a prayer of gratitude for having slept and woke and have all my children do the same. I am thankful in the morning hours for the day that is set out before me filled with hope and opportunity. I set my feet on the floor with a knowing that it is up to me as to how my day goes.  Things may test my faith, they may test my courage and love, but ultimately it is still my decision to make as to how my days goes.

Do you know what is said about desire?

It is said that those things that you desire, desire you as well.

The reason we have the desires that we have is because our desires are linked to our path, our purpose and they are waiting for us to reach them.

If we are to have the lives that we deserve and desire, then we must be willing to reach outside of our comfort zones of hatred and fear and lean into the territory of unconditional love, forgiveness and gratitude. We must do what is foreign to us and we must trust in the creator that our highest and greatest good is where we are headed. That anything that might feel as if it is an obstacle to this is actually just a guidance system that is moving us toward our truth.  This truth is not that of the victim, it is that of the “blessed.”

We will be pushed by any and all means until we open to our  soul vision. This vision is an alignment with our purpose. The divine vision that God has for each of our lives is right before us, yet we cannot see it and we fight it. We cover our eyes in fear to it. We hide in normalcy and we become complacent and numb to the callings of our spirit. The nudges that push on us to be more. Do more. Serve more. Radiate more.

Yet all we have to do is LET GO!

The glory of the creator is right there, waiting to wash us in blessings, love and all our desires if we would just LET GO.

We must let go of the belief that we need to control.

We must let go of the belief that surrender is weakness.

We must let go of our pain and suffering.

This is how we become the alchemist of our lives. 

And the first step to letting go….

GRATITUDE.

Make today a day of GRATITUDE and SURRENDER.

Make today GREAT.

Take the first step into the rest of your divine life.

-KW

Life as a Celebration!

Why not live life as the celebration that it is?

One of the biggest issues I see in this world is that so many people are trying to survive life instead of living it.

We put more importance on being serious and mature than on laughter and joy.

We are deeply uncomfortable with our emotions, whether they are good, bad or anything but blah.

We limit our joy.
We limit our laughter.
We limit our love.
We limit ourselves.

Constantly we shrink our selves to better “fit in” with society. What do I mean by this?

Just think about a time that you were really happy. I mean REALLY happy. Maybe you got a promotion, your girl said yes to your proposal, you bought a new house or maybe you got to go on a dream trip or just a second or third vacation for the year. Maybe its not that big, maybe you just had an AMAZING day and your happy for no real reason.

Then a friend call’s you and when you say hello and they respond you can tell that they are just down in spirit that day. Their day is no where near as great as yours.

The conversation most likely will go like this:

“Hi, John. What you up to?” ( your friend)
” Nothing much. You?” (you)

“Oh I am just watching some TV, it has been a long day. Got anything going on?” ( your friend)

“Nah, not much. Just chilling. working. ya know.” (you)

In fact though you are bubbling with JOY, but are scarred to let it out because you don’t want to rub your joy in your friends face and make them feel potentially worse because of how crappy their day has been. Or you know that they have been struggling and you don’t want to share your AWESOMENESS just yet as that might cause them a feeling of ‘whats wrong with me, why does everyone else have good things but not me, ‘ yet they would respond, ” John, that’s really great news, I am happy for you.” Still you could hear the tone in their voice of disappointment and sadness.

So you shrink.

You shrink your joy.
You shrink your blessings.
You shrink yourself.

And you do this for the good reason to not further cause your buddy pain. So you think.

The reality is that we connect through suffering, boredom, playing it small and hiding our joy. It is so common place for people to focus on the negative that anyone who is living a F-ck Yes! Life at any level is going to feel separation and loss in their friendships and relationships in general because our life experience is so drastically different, if even for just that day or week than those around us. It is sorta like being the only sober person in a room full of drunks. You feel alone.

But does that mean that you should shrink?
How are you truly helping anyone or calling in more blessings of joy if you shrink?

Shrinking only serves you short term.

It allows you to feel connection in that moment.
The issue is that it is a false connection.
Sorta like the booze you may choose to drink to deal with the drunks. In the short term you become one of them and you have your drunk tribe with you. In the long run, you feel like shit. You damage yourself and you feel empty.

Same is true about shrinking your joy and blessings.

This world needs more people willing to find the courage to live out loud, in authenticity and not afraid to speak up!

Speak Up! About:
Your awesome relationships
How much great sex your having
The new great person you met that made you laugh so damn hard
Your promotion
Your vacations
Your health
How awesome you feel
Your joy for living
Your BLESSINGS!!!!!!

By celebrating life like this, we share our joy. We also tell G-d, the Universe, Creator of all that we are appreciative and that we are open to MORE!

When we shrink our joy and blessings we tell G-d, the Universe, the Creator that we don’t really appreciate, see, or deserve them. By shrinking ourselves we also shrink the good works that come our way.

This is NOT bragging to show how great we are.
This is NOT bragging to make known that we are better than another.

This is BRAGGING to give GRATITUDE and PRAISE to the abundance that we have received.

“Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy.”- Psalm 47:1

Not trying to go all religious on you here but just referencing this passage to support that G-d has desire for our JOY.

So why not say YES to giving it?
Sharing it?
And dancing in it?

Joy can be contagious just like a smile or laughter. It is our duty as people who are wanting a Fuck YES! Life full of abundance in all ways to share our passion, our joy and our blessings. Through our happiness and openness we show the way to others.

So lift up that glass and CELEBRATE LIFE!

Live Out Loud and Free!

–KW

Picture Kendal at The Netto Bar- Curacao August 2017

Are You Feeling Liberated Sexually?

“Sex, alone, is a mighty urge to action, but its forces are like a cyclone – they are often uncontrollable. When the emotion of love begins to mix itself with the emotion of sex, the result is calmness of purpose, poise, accuracy of judgment, and balance. — Napoleon Hill, “Think and Grow Rich”

What are you scared of?

For each of us the shame and guilt that trap us in fear is different. I am not sure what your’s is.

What I do know is:

The only things I’ve regretted in my life have been when I didn’t risk.
I’ve looked back and smacked myself for not having the courage to be honest and to move in the direction of what I really wanted. To follow what my heart was saying but instead getting caught by what I “thought” I should do. Often our ego makes a very logical stand as to why we should not do things or we should push them off to a later date. However if you STOP for a moment and listen to the still voice within that we call intuition or inner knowing, wisdom, sight; you will discover your soul and what it wants.

The work you’ll do around love and sexual intimacy is some of the most powerful, profound, liberating, healing work you’ll EVER do. We live in a world where we have learned to deal with our sexuality from the standpoint of an overdrawn bank account. Always looking at what’s not there. What we don’t have or cannot be. What we cannot do and what we really need to stay away from. But is any of this empowering? Does it come from love or fear? I believe that our sexuality is a hidden powerhouse of creative energy, empowered thinking, acting and loving. I believe that through our sexuality we can heal ourselves and this world of the toxic waste that covers so many people.

Learning how to turn your friction sex into true lovemaking is where miracles can happen for your life. Napoleon Hill understood this and studied many great leaders, visionaries and world changers who all used this form of sexuality to make a difference in the world as well as following their own bliss.

I won’t lie it’s the most heart-pounding, terrifying, liberating, soul-enriching learning.

But it’s so worth it! Just as you are!!!

Embracing this source of love, of intimate connection will change your life like nothing else. There is no amount of text book knowledge, religious study, googling, or any other item of the mind that will transform your life, your heart, your personal power as quickly and deeply as experience. After all that is a primary reason behind life. To experience!

To get there though, you have to say “Yes.”

If you want a phenomenal life then you have to push past your fears and allow for the unknown to make itself known.

The best decisions of my life have come out of my leaping into the unknown. It is that butterfly feeling, the feeling of being on the raggedy edge of life’s track. It is the feeling of being scared shitless that tells you that your aiming for something grander, some bigger, something so valuable and that it is there waiting for YOU. This is how you know your on the right path to your dreams and desires.

As humans we always want to know the how-to’s and the end result, but our dreams, desires and our life are not designed to have a systematical process. When we try and logically set out a road map we loose sight of the journey in the present moment and we miss our bliss.

Bliss and transformation come from being present and allowing our dreams to unfold through us. Similar to all great writers, poets, musicians, artists and even scientists, the creation of greatness did not come from a logical plan but from something more. Greatness flow’s through us. This is the creator creating. But we have to be willing to be present, open and trusting to the choreography instead of doubting.

It is YOUR birthright to have a phenomenal life. You are a spark of the great Divine and the Creator wants nothing less then greatness from each breath of your life. But you have to be brave enough to leap into deep intimacy, love and transformational sexuality learning and healing to access this power.

I can help you get what you’ve said you want out of your relationship and life.

I know this is possible for you.

Let me help you make it happen.

All you have to do is leap. 
Breathe in that butterfly feeling and with it allow your transformation.

Right here. Right now.

Life is happening Now! Where are you at?

  • –KW

This is the shit that scares you the most! And it is BULLSHIT.

“LET’S TALK ABOUT THE THING. WHICH YOU’VE BEEN IGNORING. AND IT’S TIME, TO DO, NOW.

Can we talk about this? The thing that you’ve been ignoring, pretending you don’t know about, refusing to tune into, as you cover your ears and close your eyes and scrunch up your face and INSIST-
That there’s not a thing, there never WAS a thing, you know NOTHING about the thing and you’re actually taking FUCKLOADS of impressive action, thank you very much, so who the hell is mentioning a thing?
Yeppppp –
THAT thing.
Come on now… no need to get upset, or sigh, or act so weary about it. I KNOW you freaking WANT to talk about it!!!! I know you’re actually DESPERATE to do so, but not just to talk, but scream, and shout, and let it all the way out. You want to bathe in it, bask in it, you want to BE it, you want to eat it and breathe it and rub it all over you.” – Kat Lorenzo
That thing which you know you WANT!
That thing that you spoke about way back when when you found the courage to reach out and do and proclaim to the Universe and G-d that you wanted something better for your life, something better for your relationships, your love and YOUR SEX!
Yepppppp –
THAT thing.
I find that once we take action and reach out to get the help that we need in our healing and transformation that life starts to move and we experience more chaos, more fear, and YES more excuses as to why we should not, cannot do THAT THING.
OR…
Life say’s YOU don’t REALLY need help achieving these desires.  No, you got this on your own.
If that were true then you would have had it a long fucking ass time ago and things would not have brought you into the idea of reaching out for assistance about it to begin with.  You would NOT even be reading this right now.
But that is not the case…

IS IT?

So when are you going to take action?
When are you going to make YOURSELF priority in your life and not just “HOPE” that you got this thing but actually do what is needed to get you this THING?
I know, you don’t have:
  • the time
  • the money
  • the energy
  • the support
BULLSHIT!
I have said this myself so many times about so many valuable things and looking back I see how those were nothing more than excuses supporting my fear and supporting me to stay put right where I was at.
Where I DID NOT want to be. 
When I made up my mind to make myself a priority and to have the life that I wanted, the excuses turned into brainstorms of how I could make it work. I called out and asked for the support that I needed. I asked for the help to find the time, the money, the energy and the support needed from those around me.
I can tell you that making the commitment is the hardest part of the starting line.
Then sticking to your commitment is the next hardest part. Everything is going to get in your way.
Here is the thing, ” In order to have what you want, you have to make the familiar unfamiliar and the unfamiliar, familiar.” 
 
Did you get that?
 
Read it again.
 
Are you willing to do this though or are you one of the average and ordinary folks who just allow life to take them where ever and believe that in not making a choice, a commitment that you are “going with the flow” and allowing the universe to lead you?
 
Commitment breeds success!
You have sent out your desires, needs and hopes with the Universe. Your heart holds them. Your soul craves them. 
You might even be doing some of the things needed to achieve this thing: 
  • Meditation
  • Journaling
  • Reading
  • Positive Thinking and speaking
  • NLP work
  • Practicing Gratitude
  • Practicing some form of conscious touch or work
  • Eating higher vibration foods
  • Exercising
  • Writing down your goals
  • Sticking to the agenda to achieve these goals
  • Getting your “O” on even.
  • And so much more.

But how certain are you that your desired Fuck YES! Life is there waiting on you? And why the hell are you making it wait on you?

This is like saying, ” I am waiting for my ship to come in.” – Don’t fucking wait on your ship or on that relationship, the job, the house, the travel, the health or anything else. Swim out and get it!

Otherwise you might as well just accept that you are choosing to vanish off the planet without ever achieving your desires.

And this is not G-d’s wish. It is not the Universes wish. 
YOU my sweet reader were created for greatness!
YOU my  sweet reader were created to live out loud, on purpose and full of life!
YOU were created for a Fuck YES! Life.
It is here waiting for you.
But, there is ONE minor problem.
You are too scared to go after it.
Which means that you don’t really want it, because you think it is too big of a risk to get. You believe that what everyone in your life has told you up to this point about how your not:
  • smart enough
  • worthy enough
  • pretty enough’healthy enough
  • lucky enough

Or whatever the fuck else they have said is YOUR TRUTH.

BULLSHIT!!!!

If you slow down enough to analyze what real risk is you will find out that the biggest risk in life is not LIVING.
Not living CONSCIOUSLY.
Not living on PURPOSE.
Not living ORGASMICALLY.

“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.” – Leo Buscaglia

You know what though? You cannot ever avoid sorrow and suffering.

Ask yourself if NOT living up to your greatness in ALL WAYS possible is a comfort that is worth the sacrifice of the life that G-d/Universe designed and desires you to have?

Does this mediocre but comfortable way of being make you happy?

If you answer yes then…
Okay, you don’t want it.
So STOP reading this post.
STOP attempting to act like you want it or that you want change.
Get real with yourself.
Be authentic.
Whether you play small or big in life, just choose and LIVE IT!
But here is the thing…. 

YOU Still deserve that Fuck YES Life.

I wish you believed in you the way I believe you.

-KW

The Purpose of A Coach- Sex or Other, We Are All The Same.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? 
 
Exhausted from seemingly nothing? 
 
Have you ever just stood outside under the stars and moon, raised your hands up to the heavens in frustration and asked, ‘Why?’ Why is this life so full of chaos, pain, and suffering?
 
Have you ever just gasped for breath as if you may not have another to give this life? 
 
I have! This is also why I have multiple coaches in my life.
 
The first half of this year was just that for me. It seemed that all of my beautiful, impressive intentions that I had written down and had been ‘working’ so hard at creating had just been kicked to the curb by chaos.
 
After much turmoil at its start, looking back I can say that the first 6 months of 2017 was very productive, had some good spot’s of personal healing to be refocused on and even the recoiling of old patterns needed to happen with good reason. I often get asked why the same things come up again and again? Why do we have to explore/experience or look at something multiple times? 
 
The answer is simple: We do this so that we can heal it at deeper levels. When we first went through the event we were at one level in our understanding, then as time passes we grow (well hopefully we do…we at least change somewhat) – the event comes back around either through our thoughts or shows up again in a new way but is offering us the gift to heal it from a higher consciousness… a deeper understanding of self and or the world. If we did not have this offering to heal our traumas from many different vantage points through life we would carry a wound that would NEVER heal. Therefore we would not be able to become all that we could become because we can only grow to the level that our wound is healed. 
 
So as you move through this coming summer think about what is it that you want to consciously work on?
 
Where on your path are you seeing what feels like a staleness or perhaps you feel like your dealing with the same events repeatedly or even have hit a wall?
 
If you apply awareness to these areas and ask for them to be worked through at this new place of understanding you are then releasing the chains on G-d/ the universe/divine consciousness so that the gateways can open to you and present the opportunities needed to make it happen. This is an important piece to the coaching path… 
 
You MUST ask for the awareness and have the desire to move forward. 
 
Your coach can only do so much for you. We coaches lead, direct and comfort. We CANNOT do the work for you though. You have to do your own work. You have to take seriously the “hope-play or work” that you are given and you need to COMMIT not to your coach, but to the process and to YOURSELF!!!!
 
Lately people are asking me to clarify what it is that I do as a sex and relationship coach. I have received numerous emails and messages on LinkedIn, FaceBook, and other social networks as well as emails and calls asking: What do you do? And Why would I need a coach for sex?
 
The biggest question inevitably comes back to asking me if I would sexually interact with a client. My response is simple: No I do not interact sexually with my clients. I am a coach not a surrogate.
 
So now that we have addressed this question, what is it that I do as a coach in the niche of sex and relating?
I think one of the best quotes I have heard on coaching is this:
 
“Coaching is unlocking a person’s potential to maximise their own performance. It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them.”– John Whitmore
 
No matter the niche we coaches work in, we are all doing the same thing. We are focused on helping you be the best you, you can be. As a coach I know that all the answers you desire are inside you. What you need is someone to help you uncover them and teach you how to use what you discover in your own inner depths. You also, need someone who will stand by your side without judgement of where you are at or how you are choosing to show up in the moment. 
 
To quote Skills You Need on Coaching: 

The ‘Inner Game’

“No discussion of coaching would be complete without mention of Timothy Gallwey and his insights into the ‘inner game’.

Gallwey’s book, The Inner Game of Tennis, revolutionised thinking about coaching. He suggested that the biggest obstacles to success and achieving potential were internal, not external. His insight was that coaches could help individuals to improve their game by distracting them from their inner dialogue and, in particular, the critical voice that said “Not like that! Concentrate on your hands! Angle it differently!”.

By distracting that inner voice, the body could take over. It turns out that often the body has a very clear idea of what to do when internal dialogues are suppressed. Gallwey used the example of asking people to focus on the height at which they hit the tennis ball. This activity has no relevance in itself, but the simple act of focusing on it distracted the inner voice and enabled the capable body to take over. The individual relaxed and their tennis improved immediately.

Gallwey’s real insight was that this didn’t just apply to tennis, but that individuals generally did have the answers to their own problems within themselves.

The essential part of coaching, then, is to help people to learn to silence that inner voice and allow their instincts, or their subconscious, to take over. Sometimes that means distracting it, and sometimes it’s about exploring the ‘worst case scenario’ and removing the fear.”

And this folk’s is what I do as a Sex & Relationship Coach.

I help you overcome your fears around sex and authentic relating. 
I help you witness yourself and be witnessed by others for your true self, not the fake person that you put out to the world, your boss, your children, your sister or brother, parents and friends and YES EVEN your spouse or lover!
 
I help you relearn how to have sex and relate from a place of love and acceptance verses judgement, control and shame.
 
I help you silence your cray-cray’s and embrace your divine self and all the orgasm it has to give to this life.
 
I help you be YOU unapologetically.
 
My particular coaching style leans into a mentorship with the support of some counseling as we walk the path to your inner knowing.
 
In sex as in life you need support, accountability, exercises to develop skills and help overcoming hurdles. Here is where you find my hand reaching out to you if you desire a life of full abundance and ORGASM!
” We speak about sex to almost anyone BUT the one’s we are having it with. Why? Because it is to vulnerable and they may judge us. We fear being seen by our lovers because of the shame that we carry around our sex. If you could only realize that this same fear and shame wraps itself around your money and life experience and that by healing your sex you tap into the F-uck Yes! Life you truly desire.” – KW
 
 
Life is happening NOW!
Where are you at?

Why July Is Your Sticking Point but COULD be Your F-ck Yes! Month.

Wow! July is upon us in just a few days. Fireworks are starting to fill the nights sky if you are out of the city far enough. I was out in Princeton last night and enjoyed watching my kids ride bikes, have a water balloon fight, get so excited about feeding the farmers horses and goats down the way and even more enthusiastic over trying to catch fire flies. The night sky was lovely and in the evenings simplicity it was a fuck yes night.
However as the temperature is rising, the lull of summer heat, activities and exhaustion has come over many of us and with it there is a silencing of our desire to move forward with our inner work. Many people are struggling to push through things at this time of the year. Summer time with as much fun as it presents also bares with it a sense of frustration and overwhelm.
Half the year is gone.
Another month has passed and still things are just lingering out there.
That fuck yes lifestyle, that fuck yes relationship are still not here. The problem is not your surroundings or often even your  lack of focus. The issue falls to your JOY, your LOVE, your FLOW.
We try to get what we want by controlling what we already have
 
We try to demand the universe/God to give us our desired life/relationship by focusing on what we don’t want to have happen and thus creating exactly what we don’t want to have happen.
We become MORE logical.
More controlled.
More rigid in our ways.
When what we need to do is lean into and breathe deeper into the natural flow of abundance that is all around each of us. We need to dance more, laugh more, enjoy more, sex more, orgasm more, cry more.
Anytime we shut down any emotion and try and control our feelings about things we in turn shut down life. We shut down our abundance.
It is your birth  right to have a life of abundance, joy, love and orgasm.
Will you accept it?
Life moves forward no matter what you decide. And please don’t try and say that your not ready to decide, because that in itself is a decision. Movement toward or away from just like choosing to stand still are all CHOICES.
Life is happening NOW! Where are you at?
-KW
Be sure to check out Orgasmic Life Coaching for Men & Women and start creating your Fuck Yes! Life NOW!!!!

Are You A Fuck Yes to Your Full Potential?

“The ONLY place you need to be – is in your magic zone. We all have a magic zone. We all use our zone. All the time. The trick is being conscious to what we are creating and making sure that our magic zone is being used for all the bliss, joy, play and abundance it was intended instead of the suffering, fear, destruction and chaos so many of us choose to use it for. — What are you creating?” – KW

fuckyeah

Be Your Full Potential This Coming Year!

Here we sit yet once again at the end of one year and the ushering into another. You would think that the whole world would be truly celebrating that we as a world society get to move forward into the next arena of life on this planet. You would think that each and every soul on this planet including yourself would be ecstatic with joy and hope for the new year and all it has to offer. After all new years is all about getting a fresh start. Having learned what we needed from the past year we can now move forward with an excitement and expectation of greatness. However it is more common for for us to be experiencing pain, suffering, fear, anger, remorse and almost a desire for this time to not move forward but to somehow reset to the beginning of the current year so that we can travel through it with 20/20 vision and make different choices, see things differently, and act differently.

For more than 80%of the population we may have a desire to make this new year one of all our dreams coming true, or at very least sticking to most of our goals and making some positive life changes so that we can feel accomplished at the end of the day and year. We desire that the feelings we are having and trying to ignore through too much alcohol, food, partying and random excessive entertainment with games and television, we desire not to ignore these feelings but to simply NOT have them to begin with. Therefore we desire CHANGE. Transformation.

There are so many people in my life that I know are experiencing these sensations. I have seen people go through divorce this years end, have been served papers for it or finished a long process with it. Many uncertain as to the standings of their relationship status. I have seen many people loose their jobs, their homes, cars. Not have enough food on their tables for nightly dinner. There are many who I know who are dealing with death this season in one way or another and even some that have been diagnosed with a terminal illness and find themselves feeling like they NOW don’t have the time to give and share all that they thought they were going to be able too. I have seen people question their purpose all year long. I have seen people try and make their purpose their relationship. I have seen people dig and get mad to the point of quitting because they have no clue what to do with what is surfacing and they have no idea how the things coming up serve them healing what they had originally set out to work on.

I have also seen many people discover love. Purpose. Direction.

Everything that I have seen has NOTHING to do with what we choose to typically focus on at this time of the year. That being how many presents we got or gave, or the deal we got or even the president of the USA. None of the things that truly matter are the things that our media or lifestyles has us focusing on.

The things that matter are REALLY SIMPLE.

The bottom line for every human being is the same.

We ALL WANT HAPPINESS.

Everything that we do is an attempt to achieve this sensation.

We change or stay in a relationship because we hope it will make us happy.

We keep a job or strive for a new one because we hope it will lead to happiness.

We exercise and change what our diets are to loose weight or firm up our bodies, not because we truly care what we look like, but because we are hoping that the look and feeling of our bodies will make us happy in some way.

We learn new things to bring more joy into our lives. Weather that is through experience or money.

We offer our helping hand not because we truly believe that it is needed, wanted or should happen (although we convince ourselves of this) but because we hope that in our pursuit to be a “good person” that we will be happier.

EVERYTHING – everything, that we do is about OUR happiness.

So why is it so damn fucking hard to actually do the things that will truly make us happy and give us ever lasting change and the creation of our FUCK YES LIFE?

Why do we choose to find excuses as to not do the things and get the help that we need in life to make the life that we desire?

You know it is said that if you desire something, that the thing desires you as well. In other words, the things we crave at our soul level are calling to us and asking us to do the things that we need to do to grow ourselves and create the consciousness required to connect to our desires.

Each and everyone of us has a the same ability to make the choices that we need to make for ourselves to create the life that we want for this coming New Year.

*

lifepotential

The only real question’s you need to ask yourself are these:

What are your top 1-3 areas of change/transformation that you know you need or want to work on in this new year?
What is the long term impact of not making these changes?
If things stay the same what does it mean to you and what does it look like?
What is different NOW compared to 6 months, a year ago, five years ago?
What is your commitment level to yourself to make these changes?

What is the ONE thing you need to do in life to die happy?

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Make this year a year of your full potential.

You deserve your greatness to be revealed.

It is truly fucking time to STOP playing small!

Our world needs YOU!

I can tell you that the world needs more men, women, couple’s turned on, vibrant, living on purpose and by their desires.

The world needs people who are transforming the world through their passion for life. This is ONLY done through opening up NOT to more work – but more PLAY.

More PLEASURE.

The ONLY secret you ever need learn to have the life that you know you deserve and desire is the lesson to ALLOW YOUR OWN PLEASURE.

We have had our ability to receive pleasure in all forms taught right out of us. Our world is so focused on living by scarcity and taunt economics. No great thing every happened without allowing for some deliberate slack. In the slack we prevent the hyperactivity of our minds, energy and drive. In hyperactivity we loose fun, pleasure and joy. Everything becomes work and we cannot breathe or flow.

When we embrace that “slack” equals room to change. Room to grow. To create. We then open the doorway to the creation of our desires.

We gain compassion, understanding, direction.

There most certainly is an art to living in your bliss. But it is a most delicious process. And for those of us who choose to transform our lives and therefore the lives of all on this planet through pleasure, play and happiness we KNOW that it is a venture well worth moving into.

But it requires Your ALL.

Are you ready to make this a year of your full potential?
Are your ready t o have the Fuck YES Life you deserve?
Are you ready to live out the year having the relationships, the sex, the money, the career, the travel, the health that you want?

This and MORE is possible.

Take my hand and take the plunge into your GREATNESS!

jamaica3

Email me about being in the Pre-launch group for my New Fuck Yes to Life Coaching – and discover the top 10 focuses you need to play with to have the life you desire in 2017!!! DON’T Wait. The Pre- launch pricing will only be offered to the first 50 people who si

Joy For My Wounds – A Thanksgiving Thought

gratitude-fuck-yes-lifeImagine you woke up today with ONLY the things you gave thanks to the creator for yesterday.

gratitude-and-presence2016 has been a year of transformation which means a year of chaos, turbulence, perceived suffering and ego drama for many including myself. So many people that I have worked with over the course of this year came to me with visions of desires that they truly wanted and still do but were faced with the healing process of mourning.

Perhaps you are one of these sweet souls who is going through this transition somewhere in your life or in multiple areas of your life. Mourning is something that we typically relate to the death of a loved one and we allow ourselves to feel the pain of loss for them as we figure out how to take the next step in life and move forward. The mourning process often finds us feeling:

  • fearful
  • overwhelmed
  • uncertain
  • angry
  • emotional
  • lost

We recognize these feelings as a state of depression. We know that we cannot change the events and through the process of mourning we tend to focus in on ALL the characteristics, moments and feelings about the thing that we lost that we LOVED, APPRECIATED and wished we still had. In this moment we find ourselves appreciative and upset. Angered at our loss but appreciative that we had been blessed with the moments spent.

So how does this relate to TODAY which happens to be Thanksgiving or the transformation process and all the shit that happens on this path of growth?

Simple, our true growth and transformation comes when we can allow ourselves this same right of mourning even with the programs and shifts that we know we have to make that are holding us back from our true abundance and power.

Why should we mourn or be grateful for these programs, negative events and suffering you may ask?

Because these events, programs and perceived suffering is exactly what we needed to make us strong enough to have the vulnerability, the courage to walk the path of our destiny. It is these very things that teach us about gratitude. Without these events and feeling in our lives we would act like a spoiled Charles born with a silver spoon in our mouth. We would indeed take life and all our blessings for granted. And even with all the trauma that we humans inflict on ourselves as we move through life we still manage to lead a life full of blessings that we constantly take for granted.

No matter how bad it is in any one persons life there is ALWAYS a place for gratitude. No matter how abused, sick, broke, hungry, abandoned, lonely or in pain a person is there ARE BLESSINGS. How can I say this? Obviously I have no clue what I am speaking because I have not walked in the shoes of the homeless man who sleeps on the cold streets of Chicago. I have not been abandoned by my family . I am not suffering with a drug addiction. I am not dying from an incurable illness. I am not living in a sex slave camp. I have not witnessed my whole village and family massacred before my very eyes. Or any other horrible human trial. But still, I write this in complete confidence that no matter what the trail, the pain, the suffering or situation that there is BLESSING and a place for gratitude. If nothing else there is a blessing in the lesson.

The lessons of our soul come in two formats:
Pleasure and Pain.

It is when we discover the blessing in our suffering or wound as I like to say that we actually step foot on our true path. It is in our wounds that we discover our passion, our purpose and our GIFT to the world.

Only through gratitude can we fully embrace our calling.

But just saying that we are thankful is not enough. We must actually touch gratitude with the feeling of it penetrating our core, our heart. We must enter a space where we not only speak our gratitude but act on it. Without committing to gifting the world with our appreciation and moving into the lessons of our wounds we remain closed and shut up. We keep ourselves armored and locked away where we can not relate, feel love or joy.

We prevent ourselves from living a life of abundance. When we hide away from the mourning process which leads us to gratitude we in turn say, ” No thanks to the Fuck YES Life! ” The life that you experience not just yeah that sounds nice but Fuck YES I want that. Fuck YES I am blessed. Fuck YES this is awesome. Fuck Yes I am in Love! Fuck Yes I am living my dream.

So on this day of Thanksgiving focus on what your blessings are.

Find the hidden blessings and start by praising life for the opportunities that come in those challenges.

“_When we commit to truly being present in the moment, realizing that the past is just a story and the future is still being created, we can find true happiness. When we realize that gratitude can shift any situation in our life from a challenge or a normal day to a day of joy, opportunity, and blessing. Even in the darkest days we can choose to see how that moment can gift us compassion, strength, growth, empathy, and a lesson that, if learned, can transform our reality. Life truly transforms when you start counting your blessings. When you stop focusing on what you do have instead of what you don’t. When we focus on what we HAVE we always end up with more things to be grateful for.”_ – Joeel and Natalie Rivera

What would you have today based on your appreciation of yesterday?

Make today a true day of gratitude.

Don’t just speak it. Feel it and show it!