How Prince Charming Looses His Charm.

How Prince Charming Looses His Charm.
 
Alright gents,
here is a little musing that you need to read if you have a lady love or you ever want to be in a relationship with a woman and keep it sizzeling.
 
Relationships on the front side can be so playful, adventurous, passionate, hot, caring, supportive and can make you feel like the other person “just get’s you.”
 
This is how we start.
In the beginning we are focused on discovery of each other,
we are focused on courting and sharing.
We are facinated by this person that has walked into our lives and we find ourselves being deeply vulnerable and open with them.
 
It’s beautiful.
And we feel like this is love.
 
In fact it is NRE – new relationship energy.
After a period of time however, this NRE starts to dwindle.
It dies down and we start to meet the real person,
which can be nice but it can also shed some light on all that we had not noticed and that we don’t align too as well.
 
On top of that, with the NRE dwindling down so does the sexual chemistry.
 
What was once a hot turned on relationship with ton’s of playful sex and intimacy,
can quickly turn the corner to boring and dull,
effortless friction based sexing.
 
Then unfortunatley,
both parties allow for this to happen,
making excuses along the way for why it is,
 
“Work has been exhuasting.”
“I am just tired all the time.”
“Kids and family.”
“We just can’t find the time to squeeze out anymore.”
 
And with the excuses years pass.
 
As time goes on,
and connective turned on sex becomes less and less of a thing, the bonding chemicals between the couple become depleted. If one partner is still getting orgasm while the other is not (typically this shows up as the man having an orgasm and the woman going months or even years without) then bittnerness and frustration start to form.
 
 
If we look at the typical relationship out there,
what ends up happening is that the sex becomes what is referred to as ABC Sex – Anniversary, Birthday and Christmas. And for some “lucky gents” they get it once or twice a month. Believing that this is just how relationship is to be, that this is couplehood, its normal, its natural.
 
And that the relationship is still doing good.
 
But what they may not understand is the subtle change in personality in their female partner.
 
The once bubbly, playful, connective, confident woman who could light up a room is now sour to life, irritable, moody, depressed, tired, sick and insecure.
 
Again excuses get made.
 
“Its money worries.”
“Its exhaustion over the kids.”
“Its her age.”
“Its this disease that she has.”
“Its her work stress.”
 
And with this sublte personality change your lady love goes from looking at you as her prince charming to viewing you as her keeper, her controller, her boss, her child, an irritation in her life.
 
She is quick to attack,
she is easy to offend,
she is critical and judgemental.
She is tired and frustrated.
She does not want to be touched.
She does not want to play and gets irritated at your play.
She no longer see’s the humor in things.
She burries herself in her work or in the home or a TV show or book.
 
And when she is sexing with you…
she either fakes it or goes limp without much response.
 
But you are happy and you are grateful.
You got yours my sweet prince.
The sex was amazing,
maybe not the best you have had,
but some sort of sex is better then no sex,
and she is such a doll for taking care of you.
 
But with each giving of herself,
she empties her very soul,
she dims her light,
to keep the peace.
As she awaits for her knight to awaken and see that she needs saving.
 
And with each thrust that you provide,
you fall futher and further off your horse.
Your charm is no longer seen,
for the pain of her emptiness is all she can feel.
 
So if you desire to not loose your charm with your lady love,
then take heed to this musing,
and realize that the true knight in shining armor will conconquer the nights of empty sexing by applying his focus to making sure that she cums first and cums a few times,
by not accepting her willingness to just give herself up for your pleasure alone, will not support the trauma of her emotions or body with a lack of depth in presence or orgasm.
 
A true prince charming understands that in order for him to succeed at winning and keeping his ladies heart that he MUST educate himself on the ways of the feminine.
And not deny them or ignore.
 
So if you claim to love your woman,
then take on the mission of filling her up with orgasm.
Deep.
Connective.
Multiple.
Rich.
Orgasm.
 
Will you take on the mission of your woman’s pleasure and joy?
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to explore more in depth ways to tap into healing your relationship, accessing a truly beautiful turned on bedroom life and deepen your intimacy? Message me for deets on my couples and indiviual coaching available globally.

Remember Who You Are.

REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE.
 
Remember.
 
Now more than ever before it is vitally important to this world that you WAKE UP and remember who you are.
 
You are more than your physical body.
There is an inner part of you that has existed long before any of this world was created.
 
And it was from that inner perspective that YOU MADE the decision to become phsyical.
 
Once you became of phsyical existance,
not all of you came into you,
just a part of you,
just a small aspect of you came into existance.
While a much larger aspect of you,
remains in nonphysical.
Remains connected to Source fully.
 
This aspect of you that you are currently identifying with,
it is physically focused,
but it is important to understand that,
YOU…
 
You are not alive or dead.
You are much grander than either of these.
Much older than these and always connected with God.
This aspect of you that you are not fully identified with,
this nonphysical aspect that is not physically focused,
but communicates with you in every moment,
is with you in every moment of your expereince,
it is ALWAYS aware of you,
it is always making sure that you are very well attended too.
 
This aspect of you KNOWS.
It knows who you are.
It does not question your worthiness,
your value,
or if you are too much or not enough.
 
This aspect of you,
sees clearly the path before you,
because it is constantly calling back to you.
Guiding you from its vantage point,
drawing you closer to your desired life.
Gently nudging.
Revealing.
 
Breathing life direction into you.
Asking that you hear its soft voice over the chaotic
banter of the hustle around you in the physical.
 
This nonphysical aspect of you,
is YOU.
 
It is a direct link in consciousness to the God consciousness that resides in us all.
It is the end and the beginning.
It is the all knowing.
It is the alchemist of life,
and the conjurer of all things,
desired.
 
It is YOU.
 
And it is time for you to remember your power.
To call on your highest and grandest aspect,
the aspect that is too great to fit into this physical focused
version of you.
 
It is time for you to realize that,
 
YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL.
 
You were born to have it all.
You were not born to play small.
You not born to suffer.
You were not born to live a life of just paying bills and saying no to THRIVING.
 
F-ck NO!
 
You my beautiful soul,
were born for greatness.
 
And it is time,
RIGHT NOW….
 
For you to fully embody this aspect of YOU.
and Remember that you are a powerful manifestor,
and your have all the skills,
all the worthiness,
all the permission already granted to creat and live the life of your dreams.
 
But you have to WAKE UP.
 
You have to OWN WHO YOU ARE.
You must stop believing this illusion around you.
You must come back to your core,
feel the power that stirs through your veins.
 
AND KNOW.
 
This knowing is a great certainty.
It is an acceptance of your divinity as a child of God.
 
And it is time to OWN THAT.
 
Are You Ready to Say YES to your birth right?
 
The world is depending on you to do so now.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Now accepting applications for 1:1 coaching.
Learn how you can let go of that that causes you stress and fear and truly create the life that youhave always wanted for.
Plus inquire about my group coaching for way to reduce anxiety and stress with a 5 week mastermind on the vagus nerve.
 
Photo Credit to Photographyinwonderland.

What Your Fear Is Telling You Right Now.

You are making it more complicated then it is.
 
You are not thinking valid thoughts right now.
 
It is challenging to think valid thoughts isn’t it.
But you MUST realize that you are thinking thoughts that are causing you to be out of alignment with God.
 
Out of alignment with your TRUTH.
Out of alignment with FAITH.
And with your SOUL.
 
You have stepped into a full embodiment of fear.
And in so doing this,
you have caused a vast seperation between you and God.
 
And it matters.
It matters to this moment.
It matters to this day.
This week and this month,
it matters to the world and the out comes of all that are plauguing us right now as a world society.
 
I get that you are looking out there into the world,
that so many people on this planet are in the same alignment,
or lack there of,
as you right now.
I get that media is focusing you on all the scary facts of our current situations.
I understand that you know people,
you see with your very own eyes,
and hear with your ears,
the horrors of the darkness that is covering up our world.
I know that is so easy to fall prey to this darkness and not be able to focus on the light.
Your light.
 
And you most certainly can choose to heed the attention and ideas of all the fear mongers who will take you down all the fear based trails in every subject known to human kind.
 
But what you must keep in mind,
if you truly desire to be a custodian of this earth,
and one who walks in faith,
if you truly want to be that soul,
that person who can hold strong in the waves of life in current,
if you want to be the person that you were born to be,
then you have to line up your frequency,
your thoughts and feelings with those of God/Source.
 
And when you feel fear,
it simply means that you are not lined up to the Alpha,
the Omega,
to God energy and knowing.
It means that you are not walking in faith.
That you have stepped away from your truth,
and you are standing in resistence to all that you know at your core.
 
When you think the thoughts that you have been thinking recently, and perhaps for some time now,
when you think about how lost you are,
how scared or worried that you feel,
when you get trapped in the ideas of the media and the world around you,
Realize,
you think these fear based thoughts and you keep yourself away from God/Source.
 
So should you keep thinking these fear based thoughts?
 
I get it.
I truly do.
Sometimes you cannot, not think these thoughts.
They have gathered too much momentum and they are sloshing up against the rocks and the more you try to not focus on them,
the more strength they seem to have.
 
I understand.
 
But there is a secret,
a secret to ease this momentum that fear has on you.
Putting you back into a position of power.
 
When you go to bed tonight,
that momentum is going to subside for just a bit,
and when you wake up in the morning,
you’ve got a choice about wheather you pick it up and continue on with those fear and worry based thoughts, allowing them to fully embody you yet another day,
or wheather you let it disipate a bit more.
 
When you are feeling that concern,
that fear and worry, what does it tell you about what the spark of God, your soul knows about you?
 
If fear is present when you are thinking in opposition to God,
because fear does not come from God,
what must God be thinking at the same time that you are standing in fear?
 
Its like you are walking along a trail that over looks a beautiful canyon. You could fall if you get too close to the edge and seriously hurt yourself if you are not familiar with the path or do not yet have the understanding of a well traveled hiker.
This is where you are at,
you do not yet understand what you do not understand,
you are unpracticed.
You are not stable,
your feet are wobbly as is your energy and ability to focus on the path that is in front of you.
You have not yet practiced being steady.
And what you need do in this instance is to get off of this path, away from that edge.
Move away from this edge because if you keep insisting to walk here,
it will not go well for you.
 
And now you may be thinking,
“Well then my fear is correct. There is much to fear here where I am. “
 
What your fear is revealing to you,
is that you are in an unreliable place.
 
Look….
as you stand here in this fear,
in this sketchy place where you could fall,
what is coming up in you?
Knowing you could fall.
 
It scares you to death, correct.
The more you think about standing there,
the more fear rises inside you.
And what you must do,
is not stand there any longer.
 
Go to someplace that is not as scary.
 
And the same applies to these thoughts that you are thinking that are giving you fear and worry.
 
You must CHOOSE to go someplace with your thoughts that do not FEEL so scary.
 
But you must listen to your SOUL,
thats what it is trying to tell you with the fear.
You are not in alignment with these thoughts,
so GO SOMEPLACE THAT FEELS GOOD.
 
In Your Thoughts.
In Your Emotions.
In Your Actions.
 
Do you get that you are an extention of your soul,
of the God force energy that moves through you?
 
That God force energy known as your soul that moves through you, is WITH YOU ALL THE TIME.
 
You are never abandoned.
NEVER ALONE.
 
And that God force that is with you all the time,
has a perspective, a perspective that is vastly different then what you are having when you are in fear and worry.
It is a perspective of well-being,
it knows your value and worthiness and it knows the worthiness of all who you engage with as well.
 
When you think thoughts that are divergent from this inner knowing, this God force that moves through you,
you cause a pinching off of connection,
and so that is what you feel…
Seperation.
 
And that is what the fear is that you feel.
Fear tells you that you are not in the receptive mode.
That you have moved out of flow.
Out of your ability to manifest that, that you desire.
 
So step away from the edge beautiful.
Step away from those thoughts.
Give yourself time to reset your path.
And CHOOSE to start fresh come tomorrow.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers
 
Now accepting applications for 1:1 coaching.
Learn how you can let go of that that causes you stress and fear and truly create the life that youhave always wanted for.
Plus inquire about my group coaching for way to reduce anxiety and stress with a 5 week mastermind on the vagus nerve.

Resistance to Your Heart Is Holding Back Your Desired Life.

The sky was coming down on me.

There I lay,

thrown out on the cold, damp grass…

Staring up into the heavens,

the full moon casting its light  down on me as though it was encouraging my breakdown.

I felt the earth beneath my body,

firm and cold to my plea,

my plea of not being enough.

 

This life that I have created,

this life that I love so deeply,

with all of its souls,

all the adventure,

all of the beauty.

Many days I feel that I am not good enough for this life.

I question why God has been so good to me?

Why do I keep reaping blessings,

why do people share such deep love with me,

Why do they value me so?

 

Don’t they see…

Don’t they see the human that I am.

The girl who still feels that she is not enough.

That pigeon toed wallflower who is lost in this thing called life?

 

Don’t they see that I fear myself.

I fear my messages.

I fear the spirit that moves through me,

that provides me such intensity at times.

 

I fear my heart.

That it may be wrong in its judgement,

it may guide me to loss and pain.

I fear that it was my heart that caused all of the pain,

and I know differently.

I know that the pain,

the sorrow,

is all based in my desire to control the outcome of my life.

I know that my heart which speaks from the place of deep understanding of soul,

never missguides.

It does not judge.

It knows.

It knows it truth,

and it just asks that I listen.

 

But I find on some days I cannot hear it for all the chaos that this beautiful life of mine has in it.

 

I cannot make out who I am on some days,

for who I am trying to be for everyone else.

 

And in this,

I become lost.

Just as you.

 

I snuggle into my humanness,

and I hold myself strong to the course that my head,

that my ego and all of society would tell me to be right and true.

And then in my final moments,

before I LET GO….

I find myself fighting to not drop to my knees,

to not lean in to this call.

This call that is so overpowering,

so enticing and juicy.

This call that I know if I let it pull me will guide me to all that I have wanted.

 

But I resist just a moment more.

I harden myself to all that I feel,

I toughen up like I have been told,

and I smile though I want to weep.

 

I say yes when I should say no.

I resist my truth yet some more.

As though it is helping me.

As though this will make me happy,

and solve my worlds problems.

 

Oh how funny we humans are.

How silly we are to run from all that we want,

all the while claiming we are pushing toward it.

 

We can not see our path,

as it lays out with each blind step that we take,

we cannot see it,

but if we learn to LET GO,

we can feel it.

It moves through us,

it moves us with each breath,

and those who choose to drop to their knees,

to lean into the call,

and allow our hearts to be seen,

if only for that flicker in time,

we grasp vision from the heavens above,

and we move.

 

 

Softly.

Gracefully.

In love.

 

We move.

 

But what you may not want to see,

is the mess,

the mess of this dropping.

The mess of letting go,

it may appear that one is falling apart,

trembling and lost more than ever before,

but this is a moment of expansion.

And a moment of revealing.

A moment where the heart leads.

 

There are no breakdowns,

only breakthroughs.

 

But we must allow them to be seen.

As we allow our hearts the same,

and through this process of shattering,

we transform who we are into who we were born to be.

 

BREATHE.

 

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Feel like you are lost and falling apart at the seams?

Like you have been working so hard for the life that you want,

but it still is not before you.

Let’s chat! Let’s get you cracked open and expanded so that YOU can call it in NOW.

 

Reach out to me about deet’s on 1:1 coaching and group now.

Compassion, Gratitude + Vagus Nerve: The Components to Your Mind, Body, Soul Connection

Do you ever have a moment in your life where you find your heart swelling with gratitude and love?

Where you are sitting in a state of awe over how effing blessed you are?

Do you ever just find yourself in tears to the magic that this life has to offer?

I have this frequently.
Just this morning my alarm went off a little after 5-AM.
I stretched, drank some water, went to the bathroom.
I came back to bed, snuggled under my furry blanket and wrapped myself up in my satin sheets.
My hand rested beside me and I felt my lovers erection,
he was sleeping, but his member was awake.

I smiled from within,
as I had a hunger to connect with him.

And so we made sweet love.
Wispers of pleasure,
my body was happy to receive him.
I joked that he needed to get going and shower, and get out the door to work,
but that I first demanded that he take care of me as I grabbed him.

The moment was playful,
it was loving and primal.
It was most of all connective,
and more so connective for me to embody myself then to even connect with him.

I found myself needing him to touch me,
needing him to bring me back to my breath,
needing ME to get present in my own flesh,
with my emotions,
and out of my head.

And this moment blessed me with just that.

Afterward, we kissed and he got me my morning coffee.
I sat in bed, breathed deep into my womb and relaxed my chest.
I found myself feeling so much gratitude for my life,
for him,
for the opportunities that I have,
I was grateful for the messes that I need to clean up today,
my home that needs tidied for a 3-day event happening in it this coming weekend,
for my children,
their laughter and joy.
I opened up my facebook and I scrolled through pictures and events that happened over the last eight weeks.
I looked at the travel, the birthdays, the dinners, the family and friends,
the laughter,
the authentic smiles,
the connection.

I saw the blessings and felt JOY.
I felt INSPIRED to focus on just that and keep manifesting more of what feels so good.
I felt PEACE for where I am,
and EXCITEMENT for the path before me.
I felt GRATITUDE for being in my body and the messages that my SOUL shares through my body.
and I felt COMPASSION for self,
and UNDERSTANDING that I am just human.

This is how we create.
This is how we manifest our lives.
We grow and we manifest through being EMBODIED.
But so often we do not fathom what embodiment means,
let along how to achieve it.
We hide in our heads,
where the clutter and chaos of our fears and worries drown out our truth.
We run from our bodies,
and our emotions,
in belief that they will mislead us,
that they are weak and not to be listened too.

Yet as our world evolves,
science is pointing back to what we call spiritualism,
that crazy mystic shiz,
and it is revealing that thier is so much to the
MIND< BODY<SOUL connection.
That in order for us to truly live to our full capasity and expereince maximum well-being that we MUST embody ourselves and not exclude any aspect of this triad.

It is our ability to connect the dots of this three parts that enable us to be the alchemists of our lives.

When we are lost,
when we are full of anxiety,
our pathway of communication between
MIND<BODY<SOUL is disrupted.
Making it it virtually impossible to make correct life choices for ourselves.
We hinder our selves through disassociation to the body and the emotions.
This disassociation causes us to have life happen to us,
verses us creating the life that we want.

In today’s world there are new sciences being created to study just this MIND<BODY<SOUL connection and the pathways that create the communication needed to achieve our full capacity.

The medical field of bioelectronics was formulated just for this sole purpose.

And in it’s study,
the pathway of the Vagus nerve is a focus.
This is just what I speak of today,
and how I have intuitively created my F-ck Yes! Lifestyle.
Through a consistent practicec of activaing, and paying attention to this communication freeway.
Listening to its messages from SOUL to Body, to mind and acting from this KNOWING space.

You can do the same.
SImple steps and unederstanding,
following the guidance of vagus nerve coaching and practices to live your best life.

Simple.

It really is.
And YOU can expereince the rewards.

Breathe.
Slow down.
Meditate.
Conscious Focus on Appreciation and Compassion.
Letting go of Control Based Thinking.
Becoming Body Present.

These are the steps.
Ready?

Get activated now.
And THRIVE.

How do you support your MIND<BODY<SOUL Connection?

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

ANNOUNCING my New Global Group Coaching Program!
5-weeks of intensive yet simple education, strategy and exercises to create your desired life through activation and understanding of the Vagus Nerve.

PM for Pre-Launch interest in Group Vagus Nerve Coaching Program. Learn how to embody and stimulate your vagus nerve in a whole new way.

Show Me Your World & I Will Show You Where Your Attention Is Focused.

Show me the money!
Show me your love!
Show me your attention….
 
Yes,
show me your attention.
Because the money and the love,
they will come or they will go,
based on where your attention is.
 
You can claim all damn day long that you are dreaming about the positives.
You can say that you love this and that about your life or your partner,
you can say,
“But, Kendal, I AM – REALLY- I am looking at all my blessings.”
 
And I will look at you and smile.
Because the reality is just such,
if your world is not what you want it to be in love or money,
or any other subject for that matter,
then the ONLY reason that it is not…
 
Is because you BABY,
are looking for the evidence that those things are not there instead of living as though they already are.
 
This is the hardest concept for us humans to get.
We set our goals,
we feel our desires,
we hunger and thirst for them,
we search, chase and keep our head down to the ground working our bumbs off to make it happen.
And we consistently look for our good efforts to reap the rewards that we want.
 
We consistently,
dig those seeds that we are planting up and ask of them,
 
“WHY have you little seed I planted just this morning, foresaken me? Why have you not sprouted?”
 
And this is the issue that we have with goals and dreams.
We keep digging them up.
We keep unearthing them and not having patience for them to sprout.
Something inside of us makes us believe that if we keep looking at what has not sprouted that it will magically make it sprout,
and not just sprout….
 
No it will magically go from seed to full grown tree bearing a whole crop of all the fruit that we hunger for.
 
And when it does not…
we get ill spirited and frustrated,
we go into victim mode.
We point to the lack of sprouting and proclaim,
“You see…. the evidence always shows me the same thing. No sprouts.”
 
And so we support our self-sabotagging beliefs of lack of worthiness, and love. We support the ideas that we cannot have and that we are just not good enough.
 
We tell ourselves,
we are looking at what we want in the positive.
That we are counting our blessings,
showing our gratitude and not having expectations or a need to control how we gain what we desire.
 
Yes, we tell ourselves all of this and more.
But our outside world shows the TRUTH.
 
I ask and encourage you today beautiful,
to take a moment to get REAL,
real with self.
Real with where your true attention is.
Because I promise you that God does not make unworthy things,
it is our powerful ability to create anything that we focus on.
And if you desire to speak into reality a life that is full of magic, love and money,
then speak it baby.
But speak it with the intent,
the words,
and the feeling that it is,
and stop your ill concepts of looking for it to not be there.
 
Watch your words my love.
Watch your actions and your feelings about that,
that you desire so.
 
Show me your world and I will show you where your attention is focused.
 
 
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to have more of what you love in yourlife?
Learn the magical secrets of the power that lives within you, and creates through you…
Let’s get you claiming your F-ck Yes! Life Today.
Message me for deet’s on private and group coaching now.

I Destroyed My Relationship by Being Selfless.

I looked at him and said,
” I am super selfish!”
 
Following it up with,
“If you were around me more, you would see how rude I can be. How abrupt, focused and determined to do what I feel is best for self. And you most likely would not like it much and may not like me as much as well.”
 
He shook his head in disagreement,
he chuckled and said, ” I know how rude you can be, and how stubborn you are. I have witnessed it.”
 
True, anyone who has been around me for any amount of time has witnessed my stubborness, has tasted my rudness and abruptness. And they may even think that I was just being clueless or unpresent in some of the “selfish acts” that they have expereinced with me.
 
In truth,
I was far from clueless of what I was doing.
I was making a statement of action with the clarity and love for self that was needed.
 
I was deliberatly putting my feelings first.
I was deliberatly stating my truth,
even at the cost of potentially not giving someone else what they wanted.
 
And this most certainly may not always feel good to the one who is being denied.
 
But in truth,
the selfish act of stating your authentic yes or no is one of the most loving things we can offer ourselves and another. We are caring far more for the relationship and for the outcome (long term) then to just bow down and “give” what the other wants when it is out of alignment with who we are.
 
Let me tell you an intimate tale….
 
Many years ago I was married. I was with a man who claimed he loved me and in his own way did and still does and I him. However, in our relationship we were both unhappy, empty and lost and we did not understand this or what was causing it.
Our sex was average at best.
He wanted it.
I did not.
But I gave it to him a few times a month to “keep him happy” as we were married and that is what a “good wife” is to do.
 
So the sex was based on my duty to care for my man’s physical needs and make him feel good,
make him feel like I desired him,
desired the sex,
that he was being the man.
So I faked it.
I gasped and moaned,
I drank a few glasses of wine to loosen up and “get in the mood.”
 
And I hated him and me for it.
Every time I said yes to please him and I was actually a no,
I was raping myself.
I was detroying our relationship,
and the love that we had for each other.
In my efforts to be selfless and do what I thought was best and good for us and for him,
I tore myself apart.
And the more I died inside,
the more depressed, exhausted and empty I felt.
And the more anxious, stressed, and angry I became.
 
So I drank more wine.
Masking my feelings,
masking my needs and trying ever harder to get in the mood.
What mood was I getting into in truth.
The mood of victim.
The mood of selfless.
The mood of “I know, let’s rape ourselves! Let’s tell a lie about our truth. And say YES when we mean NO.”
 
Over and over again for years this plauged our relationship and my whole being.
 
I would say yes to whatever he wanted.
Blow jobs, sure even though I hated his scent and taste and cried through them.
Anal sex, sure… even though it felt like I was being torn apart in the act and hurt for a week to follow, even bleeding from my ass and fearful of the damage.
I remember him telling me that when I wrapped my legs around him that it made it virtually impossible for him to hold back his climax because it was such a feeling of me pulling him in and wanting him,
funny, this was the last thing I was wanting or feeling.
But I leaned on this information to get him off quicker so that my pain would be over sooner.
 
I was such a good wife.
Taking care of his physical needs like that.
Taking responsibility of his emotions and boosting his ego like that.
Yes, he would have been destroyed if I had spoken my truth of not wanting it.
 
He would have been destroyed to know that I had not had an orgasm for years.
 
And that would be down right selfish of me and wrong,
hurtful even to tell my truth like this.
 
Right?
 
Well, like I said…
A long time ago I “WAS” (past tense) married.
 
I destroyed our marriage with my selflessness.
As do so many people.
 
To be selfish is to love the self enough to speak our truth.
To be selfish is to be in alignment with the self,
and to know that when we are in alignment to our core,
we are also in alignment to what is ultimatly needed for all involved.
 
Selflessness makes us a marter.
It destroys who we are because we loose ourselves.
We end up starving ourselves and have nothing to offer this world.
 
Now, I can hear some out ther stating,
“Yeah thats great Kendal, but what do you do if your truth and another person’s truth are opposite?”
 
This is where you have to sit down and have some truth talks.
You have to lean into these difficult conversations and realize that sometimes we are at an impass. Sometimes, we have to ask ourselves the difficult questions of,
 
👉“Is this thing I am calling my truth TRUE?”
 
👉“Is there some other way that I can get my needs met?”
 
👉“Can we agree to disagree and still be friends/lovers/etc?”
 
👉“How important is it to me to get this other person to do what I want? And what do I feel I will benefit from it or that we will benefit from it?”
 
Realize this…
At the end of the day,
you WILL do one of three things…
 
1. Get your way at the cost of anothers well-being and happiness, or
2.Let someone else have their way with you and you in turn hold bitterness, resentment, trauma and hatred toward them and yourself.
3. Get your truth spoken and hear anothers truth, unconditionally without expectation.
 
One of these three is love based.
The other two are ego, control, fear and conditional based.
 
What do you choose?
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Looking for how you can create or manifest an authentic relationship based on unconditional love instead of need and fear? Reach out to me for 1:1 and group coaching and workshops today. I work with people all over the world.

The Avalanche of Negative Momentum in Relationship – How to Cope?

Have you noticed that a lot of challenges and upsets in your relationship happens because of one person’s sensitivity to what is being said or what they “think” they are hearing?
 
And have you noticed that after you have been with someone for a bit,
that is feels like when you get into a confrontation that there is no bottom to how deep and dark you can take it?
That there seem’s to be no bottom to the level of pain that you may venture into,
or the memories that you can come up with?
 
And it all feels so nasty, does’nt it?
It feels so real.
 
Arguing is never a fun thing in relationship.
Especially in our most intimate relationships.
 
But what causes this?
And how can we more consciously deal with this negative momentum that occurs in our fighting?
 
First, its important to relaize that it is NOT a reflection of who you are,
or who your partner is,
or what your relationship is.
 
Its just a vibrational discord that is occuring.
Its a reflection of your energies not being aligned in that moment.
 
And one of the best things you can do it to speak just that.
And state that it is JUST A MOMENT.
That it is a moment of imbalance.
 
It has no permancy to it.
Realize that you are both making too much of it.
That with all the beauty,
all the blessings that you have in life,
that what you should be doing is feeling just that,
BLESSED.
 
But, don’t get caught up in the judgement of this realization.
Remember that compassion heals,
judgement harms.
 
Recognize what is happening in compassion,
be easy on yourself and your partner.
 
And, then remember that there is momentum in your energy that is moving you along like this,
Realize that this event that you are standing in right now,
is NOT from RIGHT NOW.
It has been building up momentum for some time,
it is residual momentum in your energy.
Just something triggered it.
 
Even though you may be feeling like you got blindsided by this dorment momentum,
that it’s okay.
 
Know that your vibration is where you last left it.
Meaning that just because this event is happening,
does not mean that you have to fall prey to your old vibrational ways of dealing with it.
 
You are being offered the opportunity to move forward with new eye’s as to how you wish to position yourself and where you want to go with your energy.
 
If you lean back into all those old memories that will so easily fester themselves up right now,
or you ponder all the times he/she said/did…
then you are now contributing to the momentum.
 
Leaning into ease and letting go of the energy,
you may feel strange or even fearful,
you may feel like you are jumping out of a plane without a parachute,
however the reverse is you fighting for your point,
and increasing the momentum of what you do not want.
 
Feeling insecure.
Self- judgement.
Self- Blame.
Feeling inconsiderate to each other.
And the list goes on and on endlessly.
 
As I am sure you have expereinced a few times in relationship fighting.
 
Instead try speaking this:
 
” I love you too much and I love me to much, I love us to much to continue this negative momentum.”
 
This statement offers zero judgement about the momentum or where it came from.
 
Its all accurate and real,
you are not making up the imbalance,
you are now just not adding to it.
 
You can want for whatever you are wnating for.
It is good and healthy to want.
The only thing you need to embrace is that in order for you to have what you are wnating for,
you must be a match to it,
and you cannot expect or demand another human being to act or be any particular way to get you what you want.
Or to make you happy.
Otherwise, this is making them a conditional lover.
Which makes your relationship one of need instead of love.
 
Instead when you step away from being conditional lovers/partners,
 
you now take responsibility for your own happiness.
You can say to your partner that you love them,
but that you are not going to act or do something just to appease them,
or to sooth their emotional state of being.
You can let go of the riegns of responsibility of what they are thinking or feeling and encourage them that this is thier moment to self-sooth.
Knowing that this is empowering to them and to you.
And even though there may not be any reaction changes,
you can stand at more peace because you are being authentic and in alignment whith your TRUTH,
verses being a conditional lover.
 
Think about it,
all relationships are the same.
In every relationship there is a dominant person and a submissive person,
and this can work well for many things,
it is also looked at as the masculine and the feminine,
we need the polarities in relationship to have attraction and desire,
but these poles can be abused.
And often are out of the name of love.
but when we access that poyant reality of who we all are,
children of God,
then we must also realize that the most loving thing in relationship is to accept and honor,
that no one is your boss and you are not the boss of anyone.
 
This concept of I own you.
I posess you.
Because I love you.
Is abuse of the word love.
It is not of the heart and soul,
but of the ego and fear.
Thus pulls us out of alignment and consistnetly builds and triggers such negative momentum as we have been speaking of here.
 
Realize that when you are looking for some sort of behaviour shift that what you are doing is trying to be the boss of your partner.
 
So instead of letting the momentum carry you to actually screaming these things at each other,
pause and say…
 
” I love you too much and I love me to much, I love us to much to continue this negative momentum.”
 
And PAUSE!
 
Yes pause.
This is the space to go your seperate ways,
to reflect and breathe,
to refocus yourself from fear and back into love.
 
This is also you putting the most important relationship back at center stage in your life,
that being the relationship with self and God.
It must be paramount.
And if you can make this relationship of the highest importance,
then your partner will follow,
because you will be in alignment and you will be magnetic in your ways,
acting and speaking out of love once again.
 
And this is where you move from.
A higher vibrational acting point.
 
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Looking for moree clarity and tools as to how transform your relationship of now into the relationship of your dreams?
Message me about privtae coaching strategies that show you the way.

The Realness of What You Are Living.

What is it that you want?
What do you want for in relationship?
 
You want for ease.
You want for connection.
You want for this thing called love.
 
And perhaps you are not feeling these things today in your relationship.
 
Perhaps when I ask you the question of, “what do you want?”
You have an increase sense of pain, frustration, loss, fear, anger even.
 
These emotions rise up not because you are focusing in on what you want. They are present because you are actually looking at what you do not want.
 
You are looking at the void. The void you see of not having the relationship that you want. Of not having the ease you desire. Of not having the connection you crave fullfilled. Of not having the love you want for.
 
But knowing what you don’t want makes it easier to know what you do want too.
 
Think about it for a moment, close your eyes. Lets feel into the love that you are wanting for.
 
Its that kind of love that sweeps you off your feet, right?
Its that kind of love that makes you feel at peace, right?
It’s that kind of love that makes you feel good about yourself, right?
 
Its that kind of love that asks you to just be you.
You don’t have to try and be or act any certain way.
You just are accepted for how you are.
IT JUST IS.
 
What if I told you that you are looking for this in ALL the wrong places.
 
You are looking for this love to come from an individual. In doing this you are stepping out of your truth and power.
 
You are now a victim to another fickle human being who may change at any given moment.
When the answer is to go within and to God/Universe/Source.
 
When you look to another person as the cause of the love, for that feeling of love what you are doing is giving them credit for your alignment to SOUL.
Alignment to God.
Alignment to your TRUTH, your CORE.
 
What we humans do in our search for alignment through the feeling of love is that we keep searching for the “ONE” who will make us feel all that.
And so we keep replacing people in our lives to try and get this love that we crave so badly for,
when in fact what we need to be doing is not necessarily replacing people but finding true connection with God, with our TRUTH and from this place of being,
of living and feeling in love,
the person we have always drempt for will come.
 
The realness of what we are living,
the IS’NESS of our reality and us focusing in on just that is what keeps us from having the connection that we crave for.
 
The more we relate the lovely expereince of being in love,
and being loved to a person,
it leaves us in a place of searching for that state of well being,
and yumminess,
beauty in life and love, when we no longer have that person in our life.
Leaving us feeling lost,
empty, and abandoned.
And we sometimes choose to close our hearts to love.
We hide from it because it scares us of the potential of getting hurt from it. So we go into avoidance.
We numb ourselves,
we use detachment from relationship and our heart,
to protect us from the evils of loosing love.
Yet we do not cease to desire it still.
 
This is us looking in all the wrong places for love, and not understanding what love really is.
 
When we are feeling love from someone or for someone,
what we are being gifted is the ease of being in alignment.
It is our alignment to God though that is making us feel love.
Our alignment to our truth and core.
 
When we place responsibility on another for this feeling,
we are now living in a state of need for them to BE in order for us to expereince what is always with us.
 
The way it is for most people is that we need another person to act, to be, to show us love in just such a way and then we FEEL LOVED. And when they stop doing this or change how they are doing it, we feel unloved, undesired.
 
And when we are feeling loved we feel in alignment to life,
like you are walking on sunshine.
 
But it can all quickly change if the fickle human we have given all our power to changes directions or focuses and relates to us differently.
 
The truth is this:
When we find our alignment to God and SOUL, here we find love. True love that is sustainable and without question or need of anyone else.
 
And when we are in alignment and hold course,
the things we desire the most will manifest quickly and with ease.
 
They must.
 
Because this is the purest state of creation.
 
When we want for something with such passion in this state,
when we feel what we want prior to it manifesting in the physical, it does not take long for us to start allowing it into our physical life expereince so it can hosw itself. As we allow for it to be revealed to us with more and more ease, we create an avalanche effect of energy.
 
And life become blissful.
 
Here is where food tatste so delectable,
the world is bright and cheery,
we meet friendly people with smiles and helping hands in just the right moments around every corner,
we feel ignited and turned on to every breath we breathe.
We are living in a state of fulfillment with a consistent desire to expereince more.
 
And in this place of being,
we can have EVERYTHING we want for in relationship.
 
You are not being requested to stay in the emptiness of relationship that you may be in right now.
 
You are not being requested to be happy with this the relationship status that you have.
 
But if you truly want for the relationship of your dreams,
then the first tsep to achieving it is to find your alignemnt and love for life,
love for self,
and connection to God.
 
You can tell a person who is turned on to life.
Who love’s self,
loves life,
and is connected to God.
 
This persos radiates love and beauty.
This person glows.
And is magnetic.
You may think of them as lucky.
 
But all they have discovered is the secret,
the secret of alignment.
 
Where are you restricting yourself from love?
 
Let Go and Lean In.
Breathe and Allow.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to know more about how to call in the “ONE” and find your alignment to have the F-ck YES! Life you desire? Message me about coaching opportunities today.

I View All My Clients As Lovers.

It is frequently assumed that I go on many dates with many men..

It is assumed that to be a coach who teaches people how to have more, and deeper better sex that I must be loose or easy to bed.

That sex is something I am addicted too even.

Its often assumed that because I am the mother of seven that I am uncontrollable and quenchless in my thirst for sex or orgasm.

People often say to me,
” you would think that a sex coach would have figured out what causes pregnancy by now.”

Many look at me with horrified questioning eyes as they inquire if I will have any more children or why I am not currently married.

The assumptions roll through thier minds and almost escape thier lips.

Perhaps even you dear reader and follower wonder and question.
Perhaps you are among the assumers.
And I want you to know that I thank you.
I thank you for all that you feel.
All that you think.
And all that you sometimes goofily share in your assumptions.

I see your humanness.
And I do not judge it.
As you judge me.

I know what my truth is.
I know whom I love.
I know that my heart,
My message and my calling is felt and seen by those it is meant for.

Not everyone can be like a taco as my best friend would say.
And even though I may have a body part that resembles,
I am still not a taco.

I write this musing this evening to shed the light on how we judge what we do not understand.
How we cast stones with certainty,
But are enraged when they are thrown back without due reason in our opinion.

Today I share with you from a place I choose to call the labyrinth of mirrors.

This is the place where we can choose to see ourselves in ALL we come in contact with on our life journey,
Or we can turn away from them,
Look downward and become lost in the maze of our own fears and self criticism.

What do you choose my sweet human?
To be judge and jury to all in your life
And that you meet on your path.

Or to be human.
To be human means to be compassionate.
To self and to others.
To know that we do not know what anothers shoes are like.
What the path they have traveled took them through.
To be human means that you stand as witness not judge.
And to witness another is one of the greatest gifts we can ever offer.
To allow ourselves to be witnessed is the next.

Just yesterday I was working with a dear client of mine. This man has love streaming from every energy fiber he has. And yet he struggles with allowing himself the simple pleasure of recieving that love back.

I left him with the words,
” One day I hope you give me the gift of you allowing yourself to recieve my love.”

Now that statement may instantly bring up assumptions and judgments in you about me.
Or my coaching practice.
What does Kendal do with her clients?
Is she in romantic relations with them.

And you can assume.
You can judge.
And you can cast your head down and keep stubling through your maze.

Be my guest.

What I can tell you is that each day it is revealed and I am reminded of the deep intimacy I hold with these souls that are labled my clients.

They are not my clients.
They are my lovers.
I love each of them deeply.
Men.
Women.
Couples.
The intimacy, vulnerability, rawness and depth that they trust me with is without messure one of the greatest gifts of this life time for me.

And yes….
I love my clients.
I love them for thier willingness to stop bouncing off the walls of thier maze and instead to sit still and let them selves be revealed through the mirrors that are presented on thier path.

I love them for thier courage to catch thier inner judge and jury and fire them daily,
While loving themselves at a more intense level.

I love them for the tender moments that they give grace…
TO THEMSELVES.

I love them for the humor and laughter as they learn how to skip through thier errors and self defeating patterns.

Yes they are my lovers.
And I love them for the blessings that they are.

Now back to that dating thing….
I have dated a few men in my time.
And I have dated many at the same time.
But the men of my current…
The men I choose daily.
These men you may or may never meet…
Some can be captured in picture.
Others in story.

More than one?
Yes in deed.

And does it matter whom they are to you?
Well lets just see if you have been listening.
The judge.
The jury.
They have your answer.

But the mirror will never lie.

As Always My Loves,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers