Low Vibe Peeps – Goodbye.

Low Vibing Peeps.
You know who you are.
But what you may not know is that you are in charge of your VIBE.

I hate when I am low vibing,
And I must say I can be AMAZING at it
Cause when I low vibe
I go all the effing way to the bottom
Of my well.
I drown myself in that shit
Until I cannot breathe.
I bath in the muck
Until i feel destroyed
And have blown up my own world.

I really hate myself when I go there.
Yet life has taught me that we all go there,
It is part of our cycle.
No one can remain HIGH VIBE ALWAYS.
Because shit happens.
And shit piled on shit can most certainly send our vibe crashing.
Its moments of total overwhelm that can draw us down the low vibe rabbit hole. Its when fear sets in and convinces us that life is against us.
Its moments when we question our faith.
Question our hearts.
Question who we are
And discover we are lost.

This LOST feeling causes us to low vibe.
And once we set up camp…

OMFG!
Now we are f-cked.
And we have done it to ourselves.
In these challenging times of life we walk hand in hand with our self for filling prophecies.
We discover what our core beliefs
And expectations are.

Because what manifests in our world?
Exactly what we truly believe and expect.

And as our prophecies manifest before our very eyes we find ourselves embracing with a nod of certainty the evidence that we know at our core.

The evidence that
I am not good enough
Not lovable
Not worthy
Not pretty enough
Not smart enough
Not…
Not…
Not…

And our head lowers
And our heart sinks

Our frustration grows as we witness another negative event manifest in our lives.
We feel sorrow and pain.
We suffer and we cry.
We grow angry and point fingers.

All in a pursuit to understand
But still hiding from the REALITY that all our pain is ONLY caused because of our LOW VIBE.

VIBRATION.
It is the cause of all that we experience.

I hate it when I am low vibing.
But in the same I am grateful for it because it shows me where my work still resides.
It shows me my ego.
And it blesses me with the opportunity to LIFT MYSELF UP.

Because at the end of the day
No one is going to come to the bottom of my well and pick me up. Make me do anything. Or think successful thoughts. Or feel good.

No one can get me to love myself.
No one can help me know myself.
Or have the intimacy i need with self or God.

No.
No f-cking soul on this planet can save my ass but me.

So here is my question to you.
You knew at some point I was going to loop back to YOU.

Why are you expecting others to lift you up?
Why are you still acting in fear of loosing anything?
Why are you allowing yourself to low vibe?

You are effing looking to be correct.
You are wanting to prove your point.
You are wanting to wallow in your ego’s shit so you can play the victim yet again.

Thats why.
Well NEWS FLASH!!!

You can have all of that.
But without me.
Without any high vibe peeps.
Without the high vibe things you crave and claim you want.

Don’t f-cking lie to me or yourself anymore.
Just STOP.

STOP with the effing lip service.
Your vibe says it all.

You can’t have both.
You cannot low vibe and live a F-ck YES! Life.

So choose.
Just choose.
It truly is that simple.
Its just an effing decision.
But you have to want it more than what you have experienced thus far in life, more than what makes you feel comfortable.

We all low vibe here and there.
It is normal.

Setting up camp there and claiming you did not that, that my dears is denial of your truth.

It’s time to get REAL.
It’s time to decide.

I don’t f-cking care what way you go.
I KNOW MY PATH.
I KNOW MY DESIRES.
MY EXPECTATIONS.

I will NEVER low vibe for long periods.
But if thats what you truly want
Than God bless.

I wish you well.
I love you.
But I will not join you.

Claim your life beautiful one.
Claim your beauty.
Your light.
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

The Feminine Needs Bubble Wrap

vulnerabilityI am a strong, powerful, willful woman who has been called a “force of nature” by many. And today, if I was to a be a vase, packed into a box for shipping – I would need extra bubble wrap around me today. My skin actually hurts.

I would need the card board box to be firm and hard. I wouldn’t suggest putting me in an airplane. I would require a delivery man. I am feeling that fragile.

It’s the kind of fragile that can make mistakes. I’m the kind of fragile that can make me feel like I won’t be delivered safely. That somehow, I will fall like the vase to the ground and shatter. And it’s so much work to put me back together again. All of that awful stinky sticky glue.

It’s hard to look at someone who leads, and see their fragility. We want to believe that our teachers and leaders never cry or feel lost or fuck up. But somehow, I think that the best of us do. We might even question why we are leading. Or our life’ purpose!

Do you ever feel this way? Do you ever speak it?

I have been talking a lot the past few weeks about women, and how we love and support each other – and how we don’t.

So many of my friends are deeply involved in women’s circles, or various other female dynamics in complicated relationships.

And it seems that we are all shaking on some level. Is it the stars?

The sins we commit against each other as women is lack of support. A competitiveness that seems to have an underbelly hidden through soft words.

A lack of seeing each other with gentle eyes. We hurt. We hurt each other. We hide. We project. We become mute or duplicitous, and we fester like boiling water until one day we erupt like a geyser. Do we forget we unravel in grief?

So many of us hold deep trauma in our lives. For me, this is different than the drama some of us layer on top of our lives as a distraction from perhaps what is real trauma – or dare I say it – boredom.

Do you reach out to your friends, and ask for extra love and support when you are hurting this way? Or do you hope that they just notice and get it, and call you?

Or if you are feeling strong, do you make yourself available to your friends to wrap them up in bubble wrap when their skin hurts and their heart beats funny? Do you just offer soft kisses on the forehead?

Does letting yourself be seen in your trembling state feel too needy to you? Some of us just wait and hope that our need will be seen – and support will just show up. Some of us create anger, because any kind of attention to our pain even negative attention can fill us up in some way or another.

And some of us, walk around the house looking for bubble wrap and retreat for a few days.

Sometimes, it can be as simple as needing rest.

Loving you from here, and please send a little bubble wrap my way!

Pamela Madsen, Author of Shameless, Sexuality & Fertility Coach, Integrative Life Coach Specializing in Women’s Issues

Websites: Back To The Body, Pamela Madsen.org

shameless-coverShameless 
———-
A funny, sexy, and wildly entertaining look at the rewards of fully realized desire in the life of one ordinary woman.

At 43 years old, Pamela Madsen was happily married to the man she fell in love with at 17. She was the mother of two sons and had a successful career as a nationally known advocate for fertility issues. But she felt a growing sexual restlessness and yearning that wouldn’t let up. And though Pamela loved her husband and didn’t want to have an affair, she knew deep down that she needed more, much more. In Shameless, she tells the story of how she found it—and not only kept her marriage intact but made it stronger than ever.

In this fearless memoir, Pamela tells the story of her search for sexual, personal, and spiritual wholeness. She explores, in riveting detail, what she experienced at the hands of sexual healers, men who brought her untold pleasure (and became her close friends in the process).

But this is not just another sex book: Shameless is also an account of how Pamela’s journey healed her issues with food and body image and most important, helped her weave the many roles that she played—daughter, friend, partner, mother—into one fully integrated person. It is a story about a woman falling in love with herself and a call to other women to do the same.

Vulnerability picture by Seth Barns