TIME TO GET REAL ABOUT YOUR BEAUTY AND BODY LOVE.

“EVERYBODY IS BEAUTIFUL, NO MATTER THE SHAPE OR SIZE !! F*CK EVERYONE’S BEAUTY STANDARDS. ACCEPT YOURSELF FOR THE WAY YOU ARE DESIGNED AND EMBRACE YOUR BEAUTY  AND REMEMBER EVERYONE HAS INSECURITIES EVEN THE “OH SO HOT” SUPER MODELS. – IT’S ALMOST 2021, STOP BODY SHAMING OTHERS.“

 

This is a quote I snagged from my beloved 17 year old daughter, Juliana who has been on a body image rant on her ticktock lately.

 

She posted a pic that promptly someone asked her to take down because their boyfriend follows her… lol (because that is always a good reason to take something down right?)

 

But this little share is not about our crazy ideas that everyone in the world needs to act, look, or not share things because someone does not trust their boyfriend or girlfriend.  That would be crazy right?

 

I mean how can we get offended in this day and age about other people’s shares, opinions, or LOOKS….

 

People be posting workout pictures,

date pictures, travel pictures, baby pictures, kitten pictures ( all sorts of kitty pics…lol- yes both kinds of kitty I am speaking about) and so much more.

Why would we get our panties in a wad over someone’s picture in a swimsuit?

 

OR…

like my picture here..

in my panties and bralette.

I mean some swimsuits show less.

And just because I am a mom of seven does not mean that I “should” look or act any particular way.

And just because I am sharing rawly myself here does not mean that I am anything else then me.

 

But here we are,

in almost 2021 and we make a habit,

a proud habit at that to slut shame women,

girls, young girls at that about their sexuality.

All the while sexualizing them in all our marketing, “art,” games, television and more.

But lord help the girl or woman who is comfortable in her own skin.

( Now granted, please men who read this and say hey we get shamed too, we got body image issues too. I get it both sexes have all of it going on. But I am not a guy so I am not at liberty to speak from the heart space of a man on this topic, but I can share with you my heart as a 44 year old woman, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a lover, a coach… and that is what I aim to do.)

 

Back to it almost being 2021,

which it is.

And what are we doing? we are talking smack about ourselves and others, that’s what we are doing.

We are hating on ourselves and others.

We are being super critical, judgemental, blaming and over opinionated about OTHERS and ourselves.

But we keep our self hatred hush hush, right?

I mean no one knows how much you are hating on yourself but you, right?

I mean your world is all hunki dori and no one would guess that you got some issues with those extra curves or pounds, those wrinkles or grey hair.

 

So you have all the right to cast those stones about that chick that works across from you, right.

I mean how can she be walking into work with that thin bralette on that shows through her shirt. Those pants that creep just so so on her a*s that makes all the guys check her out…

How can she smile and make eye contact like that.

Doesn’t she know the message she is sending?

Maybe she is looking for male attention.

 

Yeah that is what is going on,

She wants the looks and comments.

She is such a slut.

 

I mean if it looks like one,

smells like one,

acts like one,

(in your opinion of what one is that is)

then it must be one.

And it’s your business to let her know what you think of her and how “bad’ and “evil” it is to be that.

She is tempting other womens men after all.

 

Shame on her.

 

And that chick over there who eats too many carbs all day and drinks all those soda’s, doesn’t she know how bad that is for her?

I mean look at her.

She is overweight.

And it’s just sick how some people let themselves go like that.

 

Or that woman, who has more kids then the old lady in the shoe.

She needs to respect herself more and learn what causes those babies. Maybe get educated or something. Bet her husband thinks he is throwing a hot dog down a hallway when they have sex.

 

Some people.

I swear.

 

Just cannot think of anything but themselves.

They don’t care what they are doing to this world and to others.

They should get that their behaviour is causing us all issues.

And stop being who they are.

 

I mean thier choices seriously f-ck up your world, your happiness, your ability to be happy, feel confident, or even have trust in your relationship right?

 

S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y???????

 

If I was to have an opinion about this matter.

If I were to speak my truth on it.

And if anyone gave two cents about my opinion ( which you may or may not and you may choose to slut shame me about my pic or just make some stupid sexualization comment about it),

then my thoughts and feels on it are simple…

 

much like my kids opinion.

It’s time to stop buying into everyone else’s standards and judgements of what beauty is. On what good is. On what acceptable is for your sex, your body, your carreer, your life, YOUR HAPPINESS.

 

It’s time that we learn to respect,

ourselves and have some standards for ourselves which means to stop giving more sh*ts about everyone else’s ideas about us then what we do about what makes us US and happy at our core.

 

When we learn to love ourselves,

truly love ourselves and accept the skin we are in, the minds that we have and our hearts/emotions then we will turn a pivotal corner in human relating.

Because we will be able to have compassion and grace for being human and different.

 

Each of us were divinely engineered.

We were born worthy to have a great life.

We were born perfect.

In this skin.

 

There is always room for improvement.

We can always want to strive to become better.

But until we start to appreciate who we are RIGHT THE F-CK NOW,

then we will never see the beauty in our tomorrow self either.

 

It’s time to stand up and say,

“I AM BEAUTIFUL.”

“I AM WORTHY.”

“I AM LOVABLE.”

“I AM POWERFUL.”

 

And be confident in this skin suit that we were given.

It’s a mighty fine one,

no matter the stretch marks, the grey hairs, the wrinkles or the little extra padding….

 

Acceptance and love of self is your super power to manifest the life that you desire.

 

Realize that.

Loving yourself fills you up,

makes it where you can support, be empathetic, compassionate and loving toward others.

Acceptance of self provides us the ability to see the good in others.

To have a more loving world,

we have to start with loving ourselves.

 

It’s time beautiful to walk that beautiful a*s of yours over to the mirror and get lovin’ on yourself.

 

Cuz’ baby you are worthy.

You are beautiful.

You are brilliant.

Accept it.

YOU ARE.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Lets crank out 2021 beautiful.

Message me for deet’s on my new 2021 Body beautiful coaching programs now.

Randevuing With The Sweetest Parts Of Life – No Matter The Pain they Cause Us.

LATELY I WAS GIFTED THE FREEDOM TO FULLY FEEL BACK INTO ME, BACK INTO WHAT I WANT FOR, CRAVE FOR, DEMAND IN LIFE AND RELATIONSHIP.
I have been sitting with this feeling of peace with elation now for a couple of weeks,
where if you had asked me a few weeks prior what I was feeling I would have shared that I felt like I was on uncertain grounds, a feeling of egg shells and anxiety which is nothing of the sort of person I am or in alignment to the life that I desire.
I knew that things were about to change,
This shift was upon me.
My energy had been quaking for months to be set free.
Transformation was in the cards you could say and I knew that when the momentum was fully upon it that there would be no turning back,
no side stepping out of the way and that my world would forever change.
I felt fear and doubt.
I felt as though I should try and hide,
to shut down this immense urge to just run forward and let gravity take me.
I had been restricting for so long,
putting up walls and barriers as to hold in place the container that I had built.
A beautiful, fun and loving container,
but one that had become harnessing of the energy that was birthing in me.
And so I felt the doubt rise up in me,
I felt afraid to move forward.
I thought that I had it under control…lol
And like every soul who says “I got this,” and turns their back on transformation, God steps in and reminds us that we have so much more to live for, so much more to do and share and that our turn away is unacceptable, for we are his chosen one’s. We are the ones that must feel into our hearts and face the fears, expand our vessels and step forward in faith, in truth and with our core desires.
And here I am…
A few weeks later after yet another beautiful upheaval of revealing truth, authenticity and power.
Leaning into the new territory which bears with it an awakening of my past revelations of self that I had closed myself off too.
All my excuses, all my denials, all my “hope that things could be or would be,” –GONE!
Replaced with peace,
replaced with elation,
replaced with love, true love and allowance of the self.
Replaced with desire.
Replaced with direction.
And guess what…
a feeling of ease and flow,
the realization that all that other stuff that I had been doing for the last little bit of my life was me trying to make something happen,
trying to fit in a container that did not fit me,
trying to push things to my will,
or sacrifice myself despite my core.
No f-cking big shocker there as to why there was anxiety, constraint and egg shells.
No wonder I was not expanding, stretching and feeling fully seen or accepted.
I had settled in certain ways for something less of myself then what and who I am.
The revelation that when we are in alignment to soul and God that our worlds just collide with exactly what we need and desire,
that things manifest with ease and f-cking speed.
It is us that slows it down.
Through our fear.
Through our attempts to control it and make it fit prettily in a box that is not even our own.
And then God comes through with a clean up crew,
he strikes us down so it often appears so that we can rise stronger,
more certain and knowing in who we are.
And our rise stems from how we choose to handle the strike down.
It is here in the randevu with something that is less than wonderful appearing, that we discover the sweetest of gifts that life has to offer us.
Because it is here that we experience expansion.
So it always comes down to how we take the sweetness of all of it and not freak the f-ck out in what could feel terrifying, scary, painful and not what we had necessarily wanted for.
You see it is the freaking out in these soul appointments with expansion that feel like the absence of something that we want for that can hold us in a setback. That can lock us into a wound and keep our pain anchored and us unable to move forward and breathe into the gift that is being offered.
Our capacity to randevu with the sweetest parts of life is immense,
but we have to be willing to let go of the things that we hold onto out of fear that we will receive no more than just that.
And here my dear reader is where I find myself the last two plus weeks of my world.
Breathing into this space,
receiving in truth every f-cking thing that my heart has wanted for for some time,
stepping back into what I know is true and my core,
asking for life to give me my desires and being willing to see them manifest before my eyes in ease and with great speed,
putting down the “what if splat scenarios” and just leaning into it.
Showing up in all areas,
my business…
my health…
my family…
my relationships….
my sex and love…
in FAITH.
And actually more than faith….
CERTAINTY that as long as I stay true to my core,
and aligned to my heart which is my communication source to my soul and thus to God,
that everything,
every aspect of life is perfect and sweet.
And that the sweetest moments are here before me just awaiting my sipping of them.
I bring this 6-AM revelation to you now.
I bring to you the possibility that what you have been feeling to push on, to make happen, to direct and do the work around is actually the reason that you are still locked down where you are at.
I bring to you the concept that sometimes it’s in the letting go,
truly letting go and letting yourself fall so that you can rise again renewed that is the things we must do to have the life that we want for.
I speak to you the idea,
that maybe, just maybe everything is perfect. Even though you are scared, feeling lost, in pain, sitting in suffering that it is just what you need to become exactly who you were meant to be,
and that your power is just there under the surface of that dynamic beautiful person that you are.
Perhaps it is time that you allow yourself opportunities to be, have and do what your soul craves for.
Perhaps it is time to give yourself permission, love to know yourself and love yourself fully.
So that forever more you will be able to lean into the gravity that calls you forward and not fear the surrender but welcome the lifting.
In deep love for you today,
during our worlds topsy turvy energies and changes,
I share this little tale and pray that you take a moment in your busy day to be with the most important person in your world and ask yourself, “Who am I truly? and what do a want for sincerely?”
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
— Ready to get started on 2021 before it takes you by storm like 2020? Let’s get you moving today toward your F-ck Yes! Life and enjoying all the sweetest randevu that life has to offer you on your journey. Message me today for opportunities to say YES to YOU Now!
 
Photo Credit to my amazing photographer Rebekah Lynn DandelionImages

STOP AVOIDING THE GRAVITATIONAL PULL.

GRAVITY.

THE PULL OF SOMETHING THAT YOU CANNOT RESIST.

 

Gravity just is.

You can argue it,

you can try and fight against it.

Resist with all your might.

And much like mother nature,

the sea and the sky,

gravity does not care what is going on in your life, in your emotions, your bank account or with much of anything.

Gravity just is.

 

You can walk through life unconscious.

You can move with logic and reason,

creating the safest environment possible,

dotting all your “i” and crossing all your “t”

you can be smart AF and do it all right,

but no matter what,

gravity is always there,

and when it wants you to pay attention,

when your soul has had enough of your nonsense of ignoring your path,

denying yourself and your heart,

gravity will come along and quickly remind you of everything that you desire and long for.

 

Gravity is there pulling you back home.

 

We humans are really good at separation,

at stepping outside of ourselves,

away from our feelings and hearts,

We are great at saying that things don’t matter.

We do so with wonderful reason of not wanting to be selfish,

not wanting to be “that person” who is an asshole who disregaurds others for the sake of going after the life, the love, the wealth, the whatever we are being pulled toward.

And so we wonder our days shut down and closed off to the beauty of what life has to offer us.

We wonder in fear,

and we repress ourselves into spiritual starvation until we are diseased, depressed, lost and frustrated with no idea of who we are any longer.

 

And then gravity is there to catch us.

Into its grip we fall from our slumber of avoidance.

 

And we fall hard most often.

Often we don’t even see gravity coming for us.

It just happens one day.

 

BAM!

 

We wake one morning and we view life differently.

We meet people differently,

our hunger for who we are is just there,

in our face screaming at us and having us do things that we typically would not do.

Having us take action and make plans,

and we still fear the loss of our world that we have created,

but thanks to gravity we are strangely okay with whatever needs to happen, happening.

 

Gravity has us stop making excuses.

Gravity has us look in the mirror and say who the f-ck are you anyway?

Gravity awakens us to our next best step.

Gravity sets us on our path.

It puts us back to where we need to be.

 

Here, EMBODIED in self.

 

Because THIS life,

it’s not anyone else’s life but our own.

 

We are reminded by these gravitational points in life where we get our polarity adjusted to where it needs to be,

that we are here to live for self.

 

And in attempting to live for everyone else,

in putting ourselves on the back burner,

on turning or fires down,

on hiding our light,

our hearts, our passions and desires,

that we do no one any favors.

Because we live in a weakened state of being.

We give all our power over to others,

and we no longer remain.

All that we came here to be, to share, to experience in our life vanishes when we stop living for ourselves.

And with it we stay just out of the grasp of what we crave the most.

 

OUR OWN HAPPINESS.

 

Living for others and by others will and desires will never bring us happiness.

 

Living with the fear of the “what if I am who I am,”

no one will accept me here,

no one will love me here,

no one can handle me here.

 

Living in this fear,

where the only solution is to hide self.

Shrink self,

and pretend to be whatever we perceive will keep the peace,

make others happy in the pursuit to make ourselves feel safe and hopefully happy because we feel safe,

simply will not bring what we desire at the end of our days.

 

Gravity when we open ourselves to those things that pull us in,

calls to us from the wild,

and says,

 

“Come over here.”

“Over here.”

“Here”

 

And when we listen to the pull,

we move toward the pull,

we lean,

we fall,

we run toward the pull,

Those things are catalysts to the life and joy,

the sheer ecstasy that we crave.

 

Gravity is a sign of our path home to self.

Back to our power.

Back to our souls and hearts.

 

Pay attention to the gravitational pull,

it is there for a significant reason.

It is calling you home.

 

Few things in this life will have a strong gravitational pull,

but those that do are worth the attention,

the time,

the commitment.

 

Run toward them.

 

You will discover the life, the love, the wealth that you have always dreamed of here,

here in your home.

 

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

It’s time to receive the lover of your dreams.

 

It’s time to stop fearing the what ifs.

 

It’s time to say yes to your F-ck Yes Life,

 

Now and forever more.

 

 

Reach out to me for coaching opportunities globally.

TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS BECOMING EVIDENT

 

TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS BECOMING EVIDENT

 

There is a necessary evil, 

A violence in discovery. 

And we don’t want to face its existence. 

But that does not change the fact that it is there and it is necessary. 

For us to evolve, to expand and awaken we must come to terms with it. 

 

For when we awaken, and stand on the brink of the world that we once knew and the world that awaits us, we will feel torn apart at our very existence. 

We will seize to exist as we have been and we will be forced to recognize who we are at our core. 

 

It will be terrifying and beautiful. 

And we must storm with courage toward it if we are to have the life that we desire that we were born to live. 

 

The defiance of such will cause your utter destruction and yet by leaning into the fires of your purification and awakening to your power you will expect the same. 

And to a degree you are accurate. 

 

However without this destruction of the old self, 

Of the world that you cling so tightly too, 

You will never have anything that your soul desires and was born to live for. 

You will be no more, 

Only leaving in your place a skeleton of who you actually are. 

Hungry to have flesh on your bones, 

You will wonder the world aimlessly, 

Depressed, anxious and fearful. 

Lost in the world and in yourself. 

You will mimic and hide under the masks of those you envy.

 

Not knowing self.

 

And here is where you must stand, 

Stand for you my love. 

 

Know your worth. 

Have grace for where you have been. 

Take stance to where you are going, 

And run. 

Set free your inner child, 

Set free the wolves of your soul and let your heart escape its bounds and shackles. 

The day is afresh, 

Your life is before you, 

The new world is calling. 

 

Go unto her my love. 

She hungers to give to you. 

She wants to swallow you up in her rhythm and song, 

Have you dance upon her flesh, 

And laugh into her mysteries. 

 

But you must claim it. 

You must allow it and demand for it. 

It will never be handed to you without your asking. 

But once asked for it will be given. 

You are the seeker, 

Do not remain blind any longer. 

 

You are walking the tightrope of your life, 

Which way will you fall?

It is time that you see one way is up and the other down. 

You have heaven and hell at your feet. 

It is time to choose. 

 

Will you settle for what you have always known?

Or will you awaken and see the evidence of your soul’s arrival. 

The shifting in time. 

You are being called too. 

 

 

Lifted up. 

The angels support you. 

Your shadow fears. 

It is not of creator, 

Not your truth or destiny. 

Turn away and run toward the path. 

 

Where two different worlds become evident. 

 

Lest you let go of the reigns of your very life to salvage what will have you lost and hungry. 

Broke and battered by the currents of this chaotic world. 

Washing and racking you upon its treacherous shores. 

You will not be able any longer to have discernment, nor love. 

Compassion will fall to the side and you will be haunted by its remembrance. 

This is the life that you fight for. 

This Is the war on self and soul. 

Can you survive?

Make amends today my love, 

With self. 

And open your wings to the heavens. 

Drop the skeletons that you believe are yours, 

And enter your rightful place. 

 

You are worthy, beautiful and strong. 

Time to own your reality. 

 

KNOW THYSELF. 

 

 

Breathe. 

And expand. 

Open. 

Open. 

Open. 

 

Set free the prisoner, 

The prisoner that is you. 

 

 

It’s time to claim your life, 

Now and forever. 

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

WHY DO WE AVOID OUR PLEASURE?

WHY DO WE AVOID OUR PLEASURE?

 

This is the question I sit here with,

pondering how could I have ever been so silly as to avoid everything that felt good,

to quickly turn away from positive direction,

out of fear.

 

Fear of anything,

fear of fucking it all up,

of not being good enough,

or maybe fear of being too much,

fear that I was not worthy of whatever it may be,

and so I turned away.

 

And used all my logic to make it happen and look appropriately.

I spent years doing this.

I still catch myself doing all too much in my opinion.

 

But I think that perhaps our biggest fear is the fear of not trusting ourselves.  We have made some poor decisions in the past, so how can we trust self here?

 

This is the one that can get us all.

 

And so we often psych ourselves out from following the lead of “feel good” and we turn around out of fear that we cannot trust ourselves.  That we should shut down and ignore, move away from whatever it is that we are wanting.

 

You see though,

we cannot just lay something down like a feeling or a desire in one area of our lives, or around the energy of one subject area of life and not expect the energy to seep out to all areas.

 

All of life is interwoven.

 

If we shut our passion down,

we start to lose passion in all areas of life.

If we shut down playfulness in one area of life,

we lose the fun in all areas of life.

We prevent ourselves from feeling all the emotions of life,

then inevitably we lose feeling for all areas of life,

and we drown in our fear of feeling.

 

But we humans,

we love to take things away from ourselves so that we can prove that we are good people, that we are trustworthy, loyal, committed,  safe…. etc. 

 

Don’t we?

and we start the whole proving ourselves by doing the take away from self typically for the sake of love.

 

Our version of love is really great at stealing so much beauty in life.

We believe that we must not be so many things when in love,

all the things that were okay when single suddenly cannot be experienced or it be looked upon as though we have commitment issues.  So no opposite sex friends ( we don’t care how long you have known them, you are in love now, you never need to speak to the opposite sex again, your love is your everything), do not be overly kind or smile, look into the eyes of the opposite sex again, do not take kindness from the opposite sex, always say no to help from anyone that is not the same sex as you unless they are your love.

 

We turn away from all the emotions,

the turn on, the play, the openness, the conversations even that add wisdom and creative thought into our lives.

 

We turn it away to “show” or should I say PROVE our love.

All of these things bring pleasure into our lives though.

We are shutting down and turning away from our pleasure,

in belief that by shutting it all down we will gain more pleasure because we now have this ….

 

THIS RELATIONSHIP.

 

And this relationship will fulfill our everything and we “should” not need for anything outside of this relationship.

 

After all that is what love gives us.

EVERYTHING.

 

Right?

But nothing is farther from the truth.

We are still human.

We still need connections from many.

We still have much learning to do and that requires a relationship with others outside of THIS RELATIONSHIP that is to be our everything.

 

But we shut it down.

We shut it down hard too.

We make sure not to notice,

not to connect,

but instead to guard and hide.

We shame and guilt ourselves should we even catch the eye of someone smiling our direction, blaming ourselves for the look on our face, the laughter we were showing or the garments on our body.

 

And so we shame our energy.

We shame our magnetism.

We shame our joy.

We shame our turn on for life,

and the saddest truth of all is that all this shaming has us shaming our love.

Because love is not about judgement and control.

Love is not about hiding and condemning.

Love is not about sacrificing our friendships and desires.

Love is about being lifted up by another who wants the best for us and wants our joy,

wants our light to shine bright.

Not dim it.

 

Love wants us to enjoy life and reap the pleasures of this life.

Love wants us to bask in it and show it to the world.

 

Ego,

which is where most of us reside when supposedly “in love”

wants to control, judge, condemn, feel jealousy and insecurity.

Ego wants you to hide who you are and change to fit the ideas and insecurities of others needs.

Ego fears all other relationships.

Ego fears your joy and your light.

Ego does not see how it turns you off and shuts you down over time in the name of love.

It believes that it is saving you,

saving your relationship,

saving your love.

Ego does not have faith.

It does not trust.

And it is quick to find fault anywhere but with itself.

 

Ego has us turn away from EVERYTHING that is pleasure and good for us,

but it has us run into the arms of all the pleasure that condemns us.

Ego will have us act in rage.

Ego will carry us the bottle to drink our sorrows away in.

Ego will have us “I’ll show you” as we sex with people we do not want to, to prove yet another point.

Ego will have us mask our feelings and hide with drugs and food.

Ego will get us to retract from life, to become workaholics.

Ego will do its job for sure…

the job it feels it must and that is to KEEP YOU SAFE AT ALL COST.

And it will do so under the guise of love everytime.

It will make you question yourself and your love.

 

And here is where we lose our power.

Here is where we lose ourselves.

Here is where we step out of alignment with SOUL, with God.

 

Because SOUL and God do not feel the same way about any of this that you are feeling through your ego.

 

The fact that you are having negative feelings, fear or insecurity, judgement and jealousy, a desire to control shows just how out of alignment you are.  You could not feel this much pain if your inner self did not feel differently.

 

That is what being out of alignment means.

When you feel drastically different from  that that your inner being feels.

 

And do you honestly believe in your heart of hearts that TRUE LOVE ever desires for you to not shine?

For you to deny yourself joy, happiness, connection?

 

Do you believe that true love wants to control you?

 

Yet you sit there turning away from your joy,

your happiness and your expansion,

andall the pleasure that these things bring you,

based on the concept that you need to prove your love by doing just this.

 

I get it.

I too am guilty of this ego game.

I have shunned my truth in the face of what I thought to be love.

I have hidden myself from my truth based on fear and judgement.

I have said no to myself when I was a fuck yes because I was afriad of not being good enough or making a mistake.

I have been there.

I have made poor choices based on this ego.

I have avoided my intuition out of fear of not being able to trust myself.

 

And I have suffered the results.

 

The regret of not saying yes to living,

to growing and expanding self,

to experience,

to love and connection.

To abundance and joy.

 

Regret.

It’s a nasty bi-product of saying no to the alignment of self.

 

The ego is a bitch my dear.

We all have one.

Our power is reestablished by witnessing our emotions and seeing for the guidance system that they are.

 

Are you ready to learn your truth?

To live the life that you feel called too and love fully?

 

Authentically.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

 

October Asskickery Month is almost upon us.

Are you wanting to make some changes in your life, love or sex?

Want to take action but do not know where to start?

Need a swift kick to get what you want?

Reach out to me about this global opportunity to have that F-ck Yes Life that you are wanting for now.

 

 

What Fear, Anxiety and Pain Are Saying To You.

My heart felt like it was being crushed.

My chest had a weight on it that no matter how I tried to calm my breathing,

no matter the stretching and massaging that I provided my chest,

the pressure and constriction simply would not stop.

There was this low grade level of anxiety rising in my system as I could feel my body fighting with me.

 

But why was this happening?

I was not fearful of travel.

I was not feeling out of sorts with my lover who was sitting right there with me.

There was nothing that I could consciously come up with in this moment that would support the pain that I was in.

 

Fast forward a few hours….

 

We had landed. Gotten our car. And made it to the fauntleroy ferry in West Seattle. I was feeling far calmer now then just a few hours prior in the Uber ride to the airport.

 

However as soon as our Jeep rolled onto the ferry and we got parked the overwhelming feelings of being crushed and the anxiety made themselves known again.

 

Breathing deep as I could in the moment I quickly walked myself to the upper deck of the ferry and called my breath as I looked out over the harbor to Vashon Island. The wind encompassed me with the soft smell of sea salt in it,

the waves crashed up against the sides of the ferry, the sun let me feel delicate moments of warmth on the skin that was revealed and here I was in this moment,

 

crumbling.

 

There was no reason in this moment to stand here on this ferry and cry,

yet the tears came anyway.

And as they did the release into whatever was holding in my chest and begging me to let it go left with them.

 

Here on the ferry overlooking the water I surrendered to the unknown.

I let myself go into what logically made no sense.

 

I was happy.

I was excited to share my love of Washington with my lover for a few days.

I was feeling relaxed until I was not.

And my mind wanted answers.

My mind wanted to become Sherlock Holmes and figure it all out,

make reason for the pain,

the fear,

and my holding of it.

 

But my soul and heart understood its truth.

 

My body and mind had been arguing you could say.

They were not in alignment.

And THAT is what was causing me to suffer.

 

 

WIthout realizing it I was not surrendering to the beauty and release of this trip.  I was holding onto an old concept,

I was holding onto the version of me who used to live here in Seattle all those years ago and STRUGGLE in life.

who missed so much of the greatness of this place.

 

Here I was 15 years later, holding onto these fragments of self.

Not letting myself release fully into who I have become.

Who I have grown into being and the life that I have today.

 

The fear of the old me was actually creating physical pain in the current.  The old thought programs and beliefs around money and relationships that I use to try to exist in life were being unmasked in my energy and my current state of who I AM was being asked by my old sabotaging thoughts and ideas to lay down and shut up.

 

HA!

 

And here was the significant constriction that I was feeling.

The feeling like I could not breathe.

The feeling like my chest was going to explode and my ribs were being broken from the inside out.

The agony in my gut.

And the intense headache that came with it all as my whole being just wanted to flee the idea of this trip I had planned.

 

I was not surrendering to me.

I was not surrendering to this moment.

I was not surrendering to life or what it was blessing me with.

And I was not surrendering all because of an old concept and old beliefs that were trying to make themselves current.

 

I was out of alignment.

 

The issue with my alignment was causing me the pain and the fear.

 

The only thing that could save me was my own surrender into the depths of the unknown,

into self.

into this moment.

into this experience.

into life and what it was offering me.

And as I did so,

the tears streamed down my face,

the wind whipped itself around me,

the waves crashed against the ferry boat,

the sun shone through the clouds and asked to warm my skin,

and I took a deep breath letting it all go.

 

My world was right again.

My body let go of everything that it was holding,

and it let go of the need to falsely try and control what it could not control.

It let go of this moment in life and allowed the moment to JUST BE.

 

BEAUTIFUL.

Without question.

Without a need to know what was going to come next.

Without the need to hold onto the moment and ask that it never change or leave.

My SOUL was again in the driver’s seat,

and in it I was aligned.

Fully feeling.

Fully embracing.

And ENJOYING.

 

Some would look at moments like this or times that they feel these same constrictions and fears, anxiety and “gut reactions” as signs to turn and go another direction.

and sometimes they can mean just that for sure,

However often they are signs that we are on the tipping edge of everything that we desire to be birthed into our world and our old versions of self are there testing us.

Asking us if we are sure that we truly want everything that we have proclaimed that we do.

 

Many people at this moment misread what their body, mind and emotions are speaking to them and they turn away from EVERYTHING.

 

They will say,

“That’s just too risky.”

“I need to see it to believe it.”

“I need to know that this person is as invested as I am.”

” I don’t want to hurt so and so or get hurt.”

“Timing is wrong, I can feel it.”

 

And they step away from life.

They step away from some of the best moments of living.

They turn away from the experiences that will grow them into that next version and they do it all in the name of “having a feeling.”

 

They do it based on logic.

They do it because they look at the suffering and pain,

the anxiety as a symbol that THIS IS NOT THE PATH.

When that is not at all what is being said.

 

Your SOUL is saying this FEAR that you are having right now is here telling you that THIS….

 

THIS is the perfect path that will transform you into that next beautiful version of who you were born to become.

This fear that you are having is here because you have control issues and life is not for controlling, it is here for you to love and enjoy,

and in your loving and enjoying of each delicate moment and your release into the unknown you BIRTH YOURSELF.

 

And you BECOME.

 

But you must SURRENDER.

In the small moments as well as the big ones.

Because the universe/God is not looking at the size of the moments,

but at your ability to be in alignment with SOURCE.

 

IN ALL.

 

That is the meaning of FAITH.

That is having CERTAINTY that you will always get what you want for and need.

That is how you make MAGICK in your life and THRIVE.

 

Can you surrender to life?

We are all being asked to do just this.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Message me for deets on the Magick Minute.

Wanting To Be Washed Over and Scared To Death Of It.

One of those days when my energy goes to left field…

 

 

Or maybe it’s right field.

Or maybe right at the pitcher.

IDK.

It’s always interesting though on days like this where I feel the arousal of life moving through me,

I feel the hunger to devour every moment,

and the tugs of the past that will always sway around in my soul, reminding me of what I thirst still for.

 

On days like today,

the universe is quick to remind me of my energetic connections,

of how those fleeting yet powerful thoughts evoke response,

and how quick I can manifest many opportunities into my life to experience everything that I am thirsting for.

 

This quenching comes through multiple sources however,

and me being human just like you want it the way I want it and all in one package.

 

Even though I fully understand, appreciate and even value the multiple packages that can show up in my life,

There are some things that I crave for that I JUST WANT IN THE WAY I WANT.

 

And I know without a doubt that I can have them too.

I have tasted of these delicacies before.

I have been overtaken by the depth of fulfillment that can be experienced all from one source.

And it is truly intoxicating.

 

AND I WANT THAT!

 

I don’t really have a ton of patience to wait for it.

I question if I am just wasting time,

settling,

or if I just imagined it before.

Or perhaps the truth is that those sorts of things only come once in life,

and when gone they leave us with this beautiful suffering of knowing that it will never be again.

 

Perhaps they are only so lovely as to walk through our lives because of the deep pain that they bare on our soul.

 

Or perhaps,

they are there to make us question ourselves, or to learn how to be better. As if to present a lesson for us to spend the rest of our days unraveling.

 

IDK.

 

I truly don’t know.

But what I do know is that these blessed little and big moments  in my life are a feast that I will always run toward and sit at the table of.

 

I know that when presented I am eager and hungry to explore IF….

 

and perhaps, this is yet another one of those life moments that  will forever leave its mark,

and no matter how deep it may scratch into my flesh and heart,

I know for sure one thing.

IT IS WORTH IT.

 

How can something that can be such an achilles heel to us be worth anything other than pain and cause us anything other than a major stumbling block in our life?

 

These things can be like quicksand to us if we get to caught up in them,

and yet we dive in,

head first.

and we search for them.

 

It is because without them,

without the knowing and the deep dive into the ravines of everything that they offer us,

we will NEVER KNOW OURSELVES FULLY.

and with that we can never know love.

We can never feel that true sense of abandon,

where we surrender into nothingness that is everything.

Where all that we are is seen and unraveled like the lessons that we gain from these moments and people who allow us time to bask in the enjoyment of the experience of life with them.

 

And so we wander through our days,

lost in search for yet this experience again. Ever so hungry to find it,

ever so thirsty to be drowned by it,

and we find our hearts feeling broken.

We find our minds screaming at us in dissatisfaction,

that we are so silly as to be hunting for yet another moment.

 

Trying to convince ourselves that, that was all the sampling of happiness, connection, love and joy that we get for this lifetime.

Giving all of our power over to just this one moment.

And feeling like we have been shredded into a million pieces and no one cares,

no one sees,

no one hears our pleas to be held yet again in this beauty,

this agonizing beauty that we fear and hunger for all in the same.

 

And then,

What do we crazy fickle humans do?

 

We manifest into our lives….

That is what we do.

We call it in and we choose to disregard it.

Because we fear its wrath on our lives.

We fear the pain.

We fear the heartache and the loss.

The death of something.

And so we deny allowing it into formation.

We say no to the very thing that we hunger for.

 

And we choose to sit in agony that we have chosen out of the fear of if we said yes to our dreams and our desires,

if we allowed ourselves to transform and become everything that we need to become to fully merge with this new exploration and blessing,

and we convince ourselves that this sort of suffering is better than the having of yet another altering beautiful moment  that we run the risk of losing somewhere down the road.

And so we sit idle in our today,

and stay that way,

hungry.

 

Never allowing our thirst to be quenched by the waterfalls that can carry us away to our own divinity.

To the uniting of self and love.

To the potential of who we are and how we can dance in the currents of our transformation.

 

Yes this is the journey of the fickle human being.

That you and I  both are.

We will forever be captivated by our hungers,

our wanting and earning,

and to those we must awaken to our nature to torment ourselves in the not having.

 

Because when we seek…

when we ask…

It is always granted.

It is never denied by God/universe.

 

The denying is all up to us.

 

So what will we choose?

 

To have?

Or to have not?

 

It is up to you and it is up to me,

and this is how powerful we truly are.

We have the power to shackle ourselves from EVERYTHING,

yes everything that we want for.

 

What do you choose?

I know my answer.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn how you can one and for all get out of your own way? I get how difficult it can be.

How it feels like there is no way that you can ever achieve the life, the relationship,

the abundance and health that you crave so deeply for.

I understand how easy it is to contribute all that beauty and love from your past to one person,

or experience.

 

But I tell you this,

you are the creator of your life and you are worthy of thriving.

Let me show you the path to living unbound and turned on today.

*Photo Credit @ #DandeLionImages

Are You Arguing For Your Limitations? I Bet You Are.

Have you ever noticed how much time and energy you spend arguing for your limitations?

 

Even after you get what you want.

 

Yesterday I co-taught a class for men on consciousness and development of their masculine energy in their relationships, sex and life.

A running theme that I heard come from the men’s mouths was the clarification and owning of excuses as to WHY they could not have what they wanted for.

 

Later in the day,

I worked with a few clients/friends on similar issues.

As I sat listening to them I found myself internally shaking my head in amazement at how they could not see their fear over getting and having exactly what they had been wanting for all these years.

 

And so they in turn argued for their limitations in having it.

Putting up roadblocks everywhere and getting angry about the roadblocks.

 

I was doing a coaching session with a client,

and in our conversation his verbiage about life and self was focused on the inability to say yes to himself,

yes to life,

yes to his desires and dreams,

and how he fully owned that he was not worthy of such good things because he felt that he had not done what he needed to do to receive it.

His every other word was condemning himself for basically being human,

and he sat there convinced that it just could not be so.

As I brought this verbiage into light for him and inquired,

“How is this serving you?”

 

He would agree with me on topics and even the awareness of what he was speaking into manifestation,

but then without a second thought fall right back into speaking the shit that was not serving as though it must be this way.

All the while admitting that he had a great life,

full of blessing,

but that he was unable to see it or feel his own happiness in it,

because he did not deserve it for this or that childish reasoning of a need to be perfect and not be human.

That what he wanted was for sure there,

but not showing up the exact way that he wanted it too.

 

Fast forward,

I was chatting with close friends about their relationship and some of the things that are coming up for them in their communication and sex.

 

Again,

they were arguing for their limitations in their love and connection.

 

Now they were not arguing with each other,

As of yet at least,

but the argument to find what they did not want for was there and ever present.

So much so that they had each retracted back into their critical minds, away from their heart centers and were viewsing their relationship and love from a place of fear.

Fear of not getting it right,

fear that they are broken,

fear that the other is at fault or will do what a past lover has done,

fear that they are not worthy of what they have called into manifestation.

 

And so they sat there with me,

terrified of self and of each other.

In ways pointing fingers at one another energetically,

recreating old wounds through the applied fear in thought of triggers,

their energy was shut down and snippy even.

At points I was feeling like I was tapping on a bed of needles in trying to share what I witnessed and help them to open to love and their own humanness.

 

The emotion on all fronts of my day yesterday was immense.

The room of men who shared from their deepest heart centers and revealed such beautiful vulnerability to a group of strangers. Their tales of truth and challenges.

 

My client who danced in his ego proudly while fighting for why it was not okay for him to be human or to be happy,

and his pain and fear around allowing himself to have what he wanted for.

 

My friends, who love each other dearly and manifested this incredible connection and fairytale romance,

who are fighting internally to keep distance from their hearts and desires,

by literally creating roadblocks inside self to prevent connection and getting angry about it.

 

All of the tales of yesterday had three things in common:

 

1) A wanting/desire to manifest what they already had

 

2) An arguing for the limitations that they felt they needed somehow

 

3) Anger around having what they wanted for but not having it exactly the way they wanted it

 

And so it is.

These are the common issues with us humans.

In all subject areas of our lives we do these things.

We want, we manifest, we argue for limitations, and we get mad that what we want is not exact to plan.

 

And even when it is exact to plan we get pissy about it because we feel like we are not worthy of it coming to us with ease,

or at all often.

And therefore,

we throw away what we want so badly for while making excuses as to why we must get rid of it.

 

We humans spend more time arguing about getting what we want while it is present in our lives then appreciating what we want and how it is already here with us,

so that we can live our lives in bliss and happiness.

 

Imagine if we just stopped this shit.

And got grateful for how amazing we are at manifesting what we want.

 

Instead of trying to kill our dreams and desires when they arrive like they are some sort of evil that is invading our homes in the middle of the night.

 

Why do we do this?

Why do we fight with our manifestations with such insistence that we cannot have or keep them?

 

It’s really quite simple.

 

We fear our worthiness.

If we stop fighting for our limitations,

we have to own our worthiness,

which means that we have to embrace the fact that we are powerful.

We can no longer point fingers of blame to God and other people and outside influences for us not being happy or having the life that we want,

we have to actually own ourselves and be responsible.

 

Well f-ck!

 

And so it is the easier path to toss the towel in frequently and say it did not work,

or that we are not good enough,

we don’t have the time or understanding,

that someone else is not doing their part,

that the economy sucks or government prevented us from it,

our church, family and state are to blame,

our upbringing,

etc.

 

But this is what cowards do frankly.

Make excuses and argue for limitations.

 

I don’t believe that any soul that I sat with yesterday is a coward.

 

Nor do I believe that if you are reading this today,

that you are either.

 

I do believe that we are all guilty of not knowing how to SURRENDER to receiving.

 

We fear it truthfully.

We look at surrender,

we feel a tad into what we perceive it to be and it feels dangerous and triggers us to old wounds from our past  so we find ourselves constantly saying no to the life that we want and to our happiness,

even when we have successfully manifested it.

 

Today I ask you to do one thing.

Today I ask that you bring attention to where you are arguing for your limitations in receiving the happiness and things you desire for.

 

I ask that you just begin the process of witnessing those thoughts and the feeling they create for what they truly are…

 

your rebuttal against your joy and receiving.

 

In doing this you will start the process of letting them go.

And create a new space to open the door to having.

 

You may find yourself shocked at what you discover,

and the truth that in many ways the life that you are craving for is knocking at your door and may already be with you in some ways,

but your insistence of not having it is blinding you to its manifestation.

 

So stop being snippy with your dreams.

Stop denying your joy in your pursuit for suffering.

You are worthy.

God/universe does not create anything that is not worthy and your life is not meant to be one of struggle.

 

That is a lie we humans tell ourselves to entertain our ego’s.

Your soul knows the truth.

 

Trust, surrender, and breathe deep,

your desired life is happening now.

 

As Always,

Are You Falling Prey To This Lie Like Millions?

 

THERE IS  A LIE WE BELIEVE THAT CHANGES ALL OF OUR UNDERSTANDING….

 

With all the worlds chaos and turbulence,

I am witnessing a massive amount of said “lightworkers,” christians, believers of faith and LOA, genuianly “good” souls fall prey to the misconception around a lie that they have bought full heartedly into,

 

and that lie is AWARENESS = ALWAYS BEING POSITIVE

 

It is funny how we humans are so eager to jump down one another’s throats in ego and pain,

we point fingers of blame and cuddle up in our victimhood statues of reasoning,

quick to accuse others of being blind, low vibe or even spiritually bypassing issues and feelings,

but then in the same turn of spewing out all these negative charges,

show frustration and even fear toward truth that does hurt.

Toward truth and awareness that does not fit into what we call “spiritual” or “high vibe.”

 

We shun the concept of awareness that is not always uplifting.

As if seeing the true pain, sorrow, or darkness that does mask each of us in it’s own way and the world in general can just be ignored fully and by ignoring and ONLY focusing in on the good that we will somehow make the evils go away.

 

It is sort of like the child who is afraid of monsters in the closet so they hide their head under the blankets of their bed and tell themselves as long as I think happy thoughts then there will be no monsters,

but in reality the monsters they are hiding from are their abusive parents fighting in the hallway.

 

We will never make the evils of this world go away.

That is the truth.

What we perceive as evil is here for a reason,

it is upon this planet to create contrast.

 

Without contrast in our world we can never know what we desire or want for,

we would not evolve and expand.

It is only through contrast that we fully experience living.

 

But here is the conundrum for humanity,

how are we to manifest good if we witness the bad and get caught in it?

 

The key is getting caught in it or not.

 

There is this concept that feeling sad, angry, upset or any emotion that is not even keel is not good, is not natural.

It is encouraged in many belief structures and in how we raise our children to hold in the pain and anger and not let it out unless we want to be perceived as weak.

 

This is a falsity and one of the most unhealthy programs that we teach.

 

WIth this we have enwrapped ourselves in the idea that AWARENESS ….

 

AKA Consciousness,

is only and always to be UPLIFTING.

 

And when we share awareness that is not uplifting that we are in turn trying to fear monger.

 

Now don’t get me wrong, what we are all witnessing in our world of current and for many generations is just that from our leaders and media,

we are for sure being programmed by our trust in them and through television programming systems,

just as planned by those that control.

 

I am not speaking of the agendas of those who crave more power and are corrupt to the core,

I am speaking about the rest of society waking up to the truths that these dark souls are hiding in plain sight from us.

 

I am speaking about the fact that in order for you to heal anything or make powerful uplifting changes that you must….

 

First, become AWARE of the issue. And this may not be uplifting to awaken to the reality of a nightmare.

 

And second, see what the contrast that this nightmare is offering to your level of desire.

 

 

From here we can make significant change.

And yes focusing in on it after this point,

getting caught in all its entrappings of fear and darkness will not change it to what you desire for instead but, rather help it to gain power through the momentum of your fear around any such troublesome topic.

 

Your awareness transformed to true sight of what the opportunity that is actually being offered,

 

which is a desire for something better,

for healing,

for love and peace,

equality and safety,

etc.

can then be fully embraced.

 

It is here in this AWARENESS which is uplifting when we  empower ourselves with our true heart,

that what we focus on grows.

Here we can now CONSCIOUSLY move ourselves from witnessing the nightmare to putting our focus on what is good in our world.

 

When we consciously choose to move our focus and experience onto good we create more good.

And we do not get caught in the nightmare although we are aware of it existing.

 

This is not spiritual bypassing or ignoring of any sort,

it is being proactive with our life expression, thoughts and feelings.

 

It is not just hiding our heads under the covers and “trying” to think good thoughts,

but in turn moving ourselves authentically into good feeling experiences which means to focus on the sun coming up each day, the people in our lives who love us, our dog excited we are playing fetch, our child hugging us, our lover desiring us, the food in our fridge, that our car works, our heart is beating, the birds are chirping, Ozarks has a season 4….lol

 

Whatever makes you genuinely feel good.

That is the ticket.

And to hold this good feeling though for just one minute each day without doubt.

 

Did you catch that?

 

Without doubt.

 

Doubt destroys the feeling.

Doubt pulls us back to the fear and the hiding,

and from there we fall into our pain bodies and fight amongst ourselves which in turn keeps the fires of our world burning ever so more greatly.

 

To create the world and the life that we desire most for,

we must become AWARE and we MUST learn to find the beauty and empowerment in our own darkness,

When we can be grateful for our darkness we will then be able to see its truth in its offering to us and make conscious choices to breathe into life the world we crave most for.

 

Embrace the contrast.

 

And AS Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

www.kendalwilliams.com

Learn to manifest an unbound life today.

Get The F-ck Out Of The Way!

GET THE F-CK OUT OF THE WAY!

Who’s way?

Your way.

Damn straight baby,

You are in your way.

And you have been blocking yourself from hearing the messages of the universe,

For years now.

It’s time you stop accepting so little for your life.

This world needs you to get ignited in your power.

You see by sitting back and squelching your light, your wisdom, your heart,

You are denying all those whose life you could positively impact your gift.

By keeping yourself locked up,

For the awesome reason of fear,

Or some wound you endured back then,

You are limiting your touch on this world.

The people in your life that you claim to love,

That you say are the reasons that you are holding back for,

Well guess what,

You are not loving them more or doing them any favors by not being 100% you in your radiant power.

No.

In truth you are hindering them.

You are not offering them their best life.

And certainly are not thriving.

You say you are a teacher,

A preacher,

Enlightened,

A crusader,

A parent,

A friend,

A lover….

Well time to grow a pair, love.

Time to stand the f-ck up and open your ears to the guidance that is all around.

God is reaching out to you.

The angels are screaming for you to hear them.

Your SOUL is churning inside.

And yet there you sit.

Stubborn in your fear and pain.

Where will it ever take you baby?

Where will you end up?

Feel that pit in your stomach as you embrace the reality that you only have this present moment to decide who you are and what you want for.

You get to choose your next step.

You get to open the door to the rest of your life.

You get to point yourself in the direction that makes you feel good.

Did you read that?

The direction that makes you feel good.

Yeah.

And what’s going to feel good?

Staying in the same pattern that you have been in all these years,

Or getting out of your own way?

If you choose option A,

Please stop reading now. I am not talking to you in this message.

If you chose option B,

Well then start stepping baby.

I know how terrifying it can feel to finally say yes to yourself.

I know its shaky ground to step forward and have faith that you can do it.

That breaking free you won’t find yourself being too much or not enough.

I get it that change can feel challenging.

But the reality is this….

If you truly want to be that ignited powerhouse that you are.

Thriving in life, love, health and wealth…

Well you HAVE GOT TO MAKE WHAT IS FAMILIAR UNFAMILIAR.

There ain’t no other way around it.

You know what you have been getting with what you have been choosing so far.

So what do you say love?

Are you ready to not just crack open the door,

But blow it the f-ck off its hinges and say yes.

Yes to your life of abundance.

Yes to happiness.

Yes to feeling good.

Yes to turning your attention to what feels good.

Yes to your soul.

I sure hope so.

‘Cuz you deserve it.

But in truth….

Only a few actually blow the door off its hinges.

Most crack it a bit and then let their fear creep back in and they slam the door shut tighter than before. They get nervous with walking a new path in life.

But this ain’t you, right?

Right.

So let’s do this.

Let’s do it now.

Time to say F-CK YES!!!

And remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “

Message me for deets on steps to saying yes to your power today.