Sex, Love and Fear.

Snuggles.
Intimacy.
Kisses.
Time shared.
SEX!

Mmmmmmmm….. sounds good, huh?
Sounds like something you want.
That you desire more of in your life.
Me too!

I sit here this morning contemplating so many things,
and I often find myself excavating past lessons so that I do not repeat them in current time and space.
As I analyze things, especially how I choose to do relationship I see how difficult I might be to have a serious one with.
And I do not believe that it is the fact that I enjoy multiple people in my life that is the difficult thing.
What is difficult for most is my integrity about it.
I share openly about my feelings.
About my past.
About my desires.
I share how I feel.

The issue is that we are taught that we should not want anything more than the relationship we have.
That the relationship we have is to complete us,
to make us happy, and to provide all our needs.
If it does not then under no conditions should you turn to someone else to get this met.
ESPECIALLY someone you may be attracted too or them to you.

I hear the statement,
” Be cautious of the situation you put yourself in.”

I hear the concern in this statement.
I hear the plea of if you hang around people you like, are attracted too then you may stray,
and straying equates to you leaving.
Because you have to make a choice.
Because there is ONLY so much love to go around.
Because you cannot have multiple relationships successfully.
Because it makes ME uncomfortable.

Okay, here is where I get a little uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable in my truth.

My truth is that I can NEVER go back to a way of living where I shut myself down from the world,
from other people,
and/or from men.
I f-cking love my male friends and lovers.
Whether current lovers of not, I may be enjoying time with them.
And when it is imposed on me that I need to not do this,
I feel shackles being put on me and on my emotions,
my heart,
my desires,
my energy.
And YES you better believe I will be making a choice.

I am poly my nature.
In all things I do.

I do love many.
I do enjoy many.
And may be likely to have intimacies in multiple ways with a few.

The one’s who capture my heart,
capture my essence for a season of our lives dancing together,
are the one’s who are confident enough in themselves and who get the difference between love and need.
Who can embrace my feminine wave of love.
These are the ones or THE ONE that will hold me a lifetime.

Now I am not speaking on sex here.
When I say intimacy,
I mean depth in revealing.
Sex can be this intimacy,
however sexing will only be as deep and intimate as we allow ourselves to be revealed in it.
Sex can just be that, sex.
It can be friction based and meaningless.

Sex does not mean love.
Sex does not mean commitment.
Sex does not mean intimacy.

Sex is a communication tool,
a physical communication tool .
And if you show up at only a surface level in your daily interactions with a lover,
then your sexing will only mimic the same.
Surface sex.
If you have depth, intimacy, surrender, authenticity in your daily interactions then your sex can go to this level as well,
or it can still be held in a place of disconnect if we are letting everything be heard in other ways but are scared to speak our truth in the bedroom.

Sex DOES NOT mean intimacy.
or love.

It can however deepen our intimacy and love.
It all depends on our level of surrender with our partner.

In the land of poly,
many believe that poly means to have multiple sexual partners. But this is not true,
poly is about something much more frightening than sex.
It is about LOVE.

Loving multiples.
And in love we can go deep with someone,
and we might open the gateway to sex.
Good sex.
Might I even say gourmet sex?
Because of the love,
because of the more authentic relating.

But poly DOES NOT equate to sex,
lot’s of sex,
or sex with many.

You can be monogamous in your sexing, 
and polyamorous in your relating and intimacy sharing.

And you can have success in this.
Just like you can have success in an open relationship with open sexing, or a swinging relationship.
Just like you can have success in a monogamous relationship.

A successful relationship is not about the sexual labels you put on it.

It is based on the confidence that each party has in themselves first, the self-love they have, and their ability to show up authentically in the realtionship. Which means authentic communication.

Year spent together does not equate a successful relationship.

Happiness does.
Unconditional love, and forward moving growth,
individually and together gives you opportunity to have this.

The most happy people on the planet are the one’s who have multiple close relationships. The healthiest people are the same.
Healthy mentally, emotionally and physically.
All requires intimacy shared.

Closing yourself off to the world is a death sentence in an essence.

Closing yourself off to the world and ONLY allowing intimacy to be shared with but ONE is putting all your eggs in one basket and putting an unrealistic expectation on the ONE. As well, as expecting that you as an individual can survive with only this one food source.

Because relationships are food.
They are emotional, mental, spiritual food.
They effect our body, mind and soul.
They impact us at a deep level.
And not having them does not mean that we are not effected.
Avoidance of relationship DOES equate avoidance of your heart and soul.
It is hiding from all the intimacy and truth that you are meant to share.

We hide out of fear of getting hurt.
We choose to not get involved,
to not catch feelings,
out of fear of getting burned.

If we do step into a relationship,
we then revamp our whole world and expect our partner to do the same, by not having relationship outside of the primary relationship. Often this simply means to pull away from anyone that there may potentially be “feelings” for.
And we do this out of fear.
Fear of loss.
Fear of being abandoned.
Fear of having too much love.
We close off because our ego’s affirm to us that it is not safe to love.

NEWSFLASH!
Love will not hurt you.
Love is not limited.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” ( 1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

So why do we fear it so?
Why do we handcuff it so?
Why do we cover it with our self-centered need?

Because we do not understand.
And we equate many a thing to be love.
We fear what we do not know.
We fear what we cannot control.
We fear that we will loose if we love,
therefore we choose to turn our backs on love,
as we embrace its doppelganger of lust and need.

Authentic loving,
is authentic relating.
Authentic intimacies,
come in many ways and are what brings joy and surrender to all relationship.

Sex is never a reason to fear loss.
Love will never create loss.

The only reasons we change seasons with a relationship is because we have either out grown the relationship or have not grown to the next level within it,
or it was based on need ( not love) and those needs are no longer being met.

Level up your love life,
by tapping into your authentic self.
Embody yourself and open to love.
This is the answer to your happily ever after.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

If you are ready to make the leap then reach out to me today. I am running a Christmas special where you get 2-months of coaching for FREE. Check it out and use the SANTAGIFT code in the why you want to work with me section.

Warrior of the Goddesses Heart

I know what I want.
I know my desire.
I feel my heart yearning.
Calling for me to breathe,
breathe life back into it.
To not fear love.
Or to be loved.
To not belittle love,
offered at my doorway.

I hear my lovers words,
the sweetness they make,
the commitment they stand before,
the desire that erupts in them,
and the love.
The love that they are carried on.

I hear him share his heart,
I feel his soul hold space,
for me as I share in return.
I share my fear.
I share my struggle,
I share my desire.
And I want to run.

Can he be the one that can hold me?
Is he willing to really love me?
Or will he crumble
from my weight,
the weight of who I am
and all I want to become.

His words are nothing new to my ears.
Unfortunate tales that many a sailor in my feminine currents have sung before him.

They all long to be the one.
They long to capture my heart.

They enjoy my body,
they are intrigued by my mind,
they get lifted by my spirit,
but they know that the true battle,
the crusade is for my heart.

And it is a heart that has been scorned,
a heart that has been tossed away as it opened deeper.

My lover looks at me with loving eyes,
he aims to penetrate my soul,
he desires for me to feel his commitment,
his certainty,
he is confident that he can hold me
and dance in my fire.

His voice echos words of my past loves.
He shares he does not want me to change.
He does not want to control me.
That he,
yes he can love me and I am not to much.

I feel his heart,
I hear his belief,
but these words are easy to say,
while you sit by the fire and get caught up in its mystery.
What will he do when my fire escapes its container?
What will he do when it desires to over take his heart?
When it burns,
burns in its glory,
in its beauty.

Sure he will enjoy its dance,
but will he be able to handle it being ignited?

Through time and space we dance,
we open and close.
I look away but for a second,
as I sense him leaning in.
My soul wants to be taken.
My heart wants to be penetrated.
But alas,
the fear conquers them.
It masks the emotions that beg to be seen,
and it makes me retreat.

Retreat once again,
I will.
Back into my lonely cave.
Where I feel safe.
Safe in my not having.
Safe in my not being seen,
if even for a bit longer.
Yet he still see’s me.
And I know this.
He leans in further,
his lips softly open,
he asks for a kiss.

My heart shakes,
it rumbles in fear and excitement.
For all it ever wants,
wants to be chased,
wants to be desired,
wants to be opened,
wants to not be given up on.

In its wanting,
he steps a bit further into the fire,
and proclaims his presence.
Asking for my depth.
Asking for my emotion.
Asking for my fire.

And so it is,
that I breathe in.
Just one breath,
just one perhaps.

And answer him in the only way I can,
in this moment.
This perfect moment of our lives.

“As you wish.”
Comes from my lips as we meet once again.

————————–————————–

To all those who have loved and lost,
loved deeper than they can ever share,
who have tasted true love and will never settle for anything less than.

To all those who have stood in the goddesses fire,
who have been burned, who have been mesmerized by its flames and desired to conquer it.

To all those who want to feel its ignition,
who believe that they can hold it.
And dance with it.

Much love to you this day.
Open yourselves to love,
as it is what makes you feel alive.
It births your soul into all it desires,
all it needs and can be.

And let yourself be seen.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

 

Stop Dishonoring God with Your Fear.

Standing at the cliff I looked down.
The water was brilliant,
radiant turquoise waters shimmering from the sun’s light.
Beautiful tropical fish swimming around in a flurry of delight as people swam by them.
The lush backdrop of tropical trees, brilliant colored flowers and the cool ocean air.

There I stood at the cliff,
desiring to jump.
Desiring to leap.
My lover watching from a distance.
Cheering me on.
Ready to snap a picture of me leaping.

There I stood.
Feeling my life.
Feeling the life I had not yet lived.
Looking into the crystal clear waters that just moments before I had been snorkeling in.
I desired to jump.
I desired to show myself and my lover,
everyone around me that I could.

There I stood,
my heart pumping blood more intensely then any other time.
My eye’s witnessing others leaping with delight off this cliff,
squealing with joy as they crashed into the cool water below,
laughter erupting from below from their joy.

THEN…

Then a woman,
she is fearful,
she is anxious,
she is nauseating in her energy.
She questions everything.
I could feel her.
All my fear,
all my hold back,
catching on her doubt and feeding itself.

Here I stood,
looking over this cliff,
wanting to jump.
Wanting to experience the joy,
the freedom,
the free fall into bliss.

Yet I handed my opportunity over to FEAR.
I leaned into this woman’s fears,
I took them on as my own.
I logically supported her words,
her doubts.
And I said, “No.”

No to myself.
No to opportunity.
No to growth.
No to the experience.
No to my desire.
No to the calling.

I said no, not based on my desire or heart,
but no based on a strangers fear and doubt.

Her reflection in me,
overcame my very desire.

Still today, I look back at this experience in Mexico as a game changer. I know that it was a lesson that I felt but did not get in the moment.

I know that it was a test of soul that I failed at that time.
All things happen for a reason,
and when we feel our fears at the cliff of any change,
we decide to either lean and leap toward our calling,
our bliss,
or
we decide to step away from them.

I have processed this moment over and over again,
I have examined the physical feelings that came up in my body. I have shamed myself, sat in regret, said many a mean thing to myself around this.

I have blamed this choice at that time for other events that took place to follow.
Seeing how my lack of not leaping into my fear, preventing me from standing strong in other desires.
Prevented me from moving forward when my soul called out to MOVE.

So I procrastinated.
So I waited.
Waited till God had enough.
Waited until I was thrown out of the nest,
and was forced to fly.

No matter what happens in life,
our lessons come for us.

No matter what happens,
we will be forced to face our fears,
and we will be given the choice to leap into our bliss,
or cower into our suffering.

God will continue to hold out his hands of opportunity.
God will continue to walk us up to these life changing cliff’s.
God will continue to tell us we can fly.

But WE must be the one’s to say YES.
We must be the one’s to OPEN OUR WINGS.

In choosing to allow other’s fears and doubts to over take us like I did in Mexico, we hemorrhage our power.

We bleed out.
And we loose ourselves to this world.

When we allow our feelings to be directed by other’s views, thoughts, opinions and feelings, we say no to the most important person in our life.

We say no to ourselves and we turn our backs on God.
This is why we suffer.
This is why we live with depression.
This is where our anxiety comes from.
This is why we are rageful.

When we deny ourselves,
when we step away from the cliff that is calling our soul to fly,
we dishonor God.

We condemn his greatness.
And we separate ourselves from his glory.

This is one of the greatest sin’s that we can allow.
Yet, here we are.
A society of wantabe obedient believers,
Casting ourselves out of heaven,
separating ourselves from God and all the blessing.

We live in a state of ego,
and ego blinds us to our TRUTH.

The TRUTH,
THAT WE CAN FLY!

So stop listening to the fear,
Stop bleeding out your power,
Stop allowing this world to steal your glory.

Leap Baby.
LEAP.

And feel the abundance.
Feel the JOY.
Feel the Blessings.

You are WORTHY.

I love you.
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

PS – Tomorrow is the day!
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Fear Has You By The Ball’s. – Don’t Even Try to Deny It.

If you knew you were limitless what would you do?

 
This is the question that I am batting around today.
I have answered it repeatedly.
I have answered it from a place of fear,
A place of strength and faith,
A place of courage,
A place of cockiness.
However the last few days as I pause in my life to see where I am,
To feel where I am going,
to take notice of my alignment or lack there of,
I find myself asking this question yet again.
 
If I knew I was limitless what would I do?
Who would I be?
What would I have?
 
Tapping into the reality of our limitless potential is one mother f-cking scary thing to do.
 
Just typing this here has my stomach in knots,
I feel the excitement. I feel the joy. I feel the fear, the worry.
I feel all my bullshit of I am NOT good enough coming up.
 
But most of all I feel myself craving it.
 
Yes the last few days I have been blessed with God bringing to me my calling at a deeper level than before. People dance into my life and bring messages of what I am to be doing, whom I am suppose to wo with, what my soul message is.
 
The message of soul is calling so loud these days it is difficult for me to hear anything else.
The issue with soul screaming at me is my own lack of worthiness.
You know that feeling.
You want it but you don’t deserve it.
You want it but your not smart enough,
good looking enough,
compassionate enough,
loving enough,
patient enough.
 
You are not a good enough person.
Who are you to believe that you could ever have that or be that.
 
Yes those feelings.
All stemming back to putting on BIG shoes that you do not feel you can fill properly.
You may be saying, ” Kendal, I am not cut out for these shoe’s. – I am not a leader. I am just a person, an average person who has no message to change the world. “
 
Well, if this is true then you are most likely one f-cking happy person.
You have no pressure from soul to question your reality.
You have no inclination to want for more or be more.
You are feeling comfortable, at peace and love with your chosen career, your chosen world, your chosen relationships and everything. Life is just glorious and you couldn’t ask for more.

 

If that is the case, then CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

We are all happy for you.
Bless you.
 
However, I am betting that this is not the case or you would not be following me or reading this right now.
 
You want more.
You know that more is out there.
You are being called in some fashion to be more.
To stand out and do something.
Something that scares the living sh*t out of you.
 
I understand.
I am there with you.
I sat down today and wrote out my manifestations, I did my daily call in of blessing and I then turned and did some inner work from my mentor. I FINALLY grew the balls to answer some journal prompts she gave me in May that I had been avoiding out of the fear of my own success.
 
I just let my hands write whatever came to them and I felt so much fear rise up in me that I had tears come down my cheeks. My heart started vibrating, my intestines started to churn and felt like I needed to do anything else that would not be this work. I wanted to avoid my truth.
 
I sat there at my breakfast table and got REAL with myself.
 

REALITY CHECK:

Girl you are scared of your greatness.
You are fearful of your power.
 
Fear of looking a certain way.
Fear of appearing too much.
Fear of appearing cocky and self-centered.
Fear of loosing relationships in your life.
Fear of not having enough energy, time or knowledge.
 
Yes I am holding my f-cking self back.
 
That was my wake up call this morning at 10-AM.
 

Well F-CK this SH*T!

If I continue to hold back based on my fear then and ONLY then do I not deserve to have the blessings pour down on me.
 
Then and only then am I accepting failure.
 
God know’s what he is doing.
He is the Alpha and the Omega.
He is the beginning and the end.
He is everywhere and everything.
 
So this calling inside my soul is there because God put it there.
All I have to do is have faith and get into my mother f_cking alignment.
Just allow myself the GREATNESS.
Stop fearing that karma will bite me in the ass if I appear someway that I have been taught is not socially acceptable.
Stop fearing that the people I love and cherish will abandon ship when I get this boat a rockin’.
Stop fearing that I am not limitless but instead crazy.
 
At my core I know that if I want to see my crazy, well I need not look any further than my fear.
 
And what I am fearing ultimately?
I am fearing my greatness.
My limitlessness.
My desire.
My success.
My BIGNESS.
My power.
 
I am fearing my alignment with God.
Taking that leap into the unknown of alignment means that I must open up to HAVING IT ALL.
 
And who am I to believe that I can have it all?
After all, I have f-cked up so much in my life.
I am far from a perfect person.
I am no saint.
I am just a mom, just a woman, just human.
There is nothing GREAT about me.
 
Or so I have been told to believe for years from society.
 
Funny fact is that this “stuff” these sh*t beliefs have never fully been my reality.
God speaks to my heart daily.
I call in his presence daily with my gratitude prayers, with my written word, with my awareness of his messages and guidance in every breath I take.
I truly feel blessed and KNOW that God has my back.
It is ONLY when I doubt it that he seem’s to vanish from my life.
 
So why now do I hesitate?
Why now am I having issues with casting my desires out and commanding them with the spirit of Moses parting the red sea to manifest?
 
Why do I doubt?
 
FEAR.
Satan has a hold of my heart and he has his nasty nails in me. They speak to me from a place that is dark and scary.
They tell me that I will loose.
They confirm that I will be abandoned first by those I cherish, then by society, then by God himself and that I should just not step forward on this path.
 
Yes Satan is there whispering his terrifying messages in my ear.
Pressing in on what I have been told already and telling me that God will be disappointed in me if I shine to bright, because I am no body.
 
I am unimportant.
I am small.
I am not enough.
 
Fingers point to all my failures of the past.
And Satan sits there assuring me that he has my best interest at hand.
That the smartest thing to do is to cower and dim myself.
The world is not a safe place, so I must guard my heart and my light and keep it to myself.
 

WTF!!!!

Why do we listen to this sh*t?

 
Because we fear change.
Because we know the boat will rock and when we are through the transformation we will no longer be whom we were when we got started.
We fear loss of all that we have and are often willing to sacrifice all that we desire to maintain what we have.
We are often willing to sacrifice ourselves even to not loose what we feel so comfortable with in the hear and now.
 
Yes it is fear of nothing but shadow’s that stops us from living our desired life.
 
From being our full potential.

Which is LIMITLESS.

 
I say no to this fear every day.
I see it, I feel it, I witness it’s evil ways,
And I CHOOSE to keep claiming my life.
 
So f-ck off Satan.
F-ck off fear.
You have no power over me.

MY LIGHT WILL SHINE.

 
F-cking bright as hell too.
 
Embrace your light NOW!
Listen to that Call of Soul.
 
God want’s you to surrender to your blessings.
You are LIMITLESS.
If you will ONLY Believe.
 

Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

I am the girl you love.

I am the girl.
I am that girl.
You know the one.
The one that makes your heart beat faster.
The one that makes you smile.
The one that makes you want to be more in this world.

I am the girl.
I am that girl.
You know who I am.
I am the one that takes your breath away,
in the darkest of hours.
I am the one who envelopes you,
in the moments of passion.
I am the one who holds you,
when you don’t want to show your pain.

I am the girl that you fall in love with.
I am everything.
I am nothing.
I am your sun and moon.
I am your darkest hour.
I am the one that makes you desire more,
I am the one that you fear.

You want all of me.
You love my spirit.
You love my heart.
You love the way I view the world.
You love my playfulness.
You love my passion.
You love my mind.
You love all of me.

Or so you believe…

I am too wild for you.
Your heart know’s this.

I am too much to hold on to.
You can not tame me.
You claim that you do not want to.

I am that girl.
I am that girl you love.
I am that girl that you love to love.
That you fear to love.

I am the girl of your dreams.
I am the girl of your nightmares.
I am the girl of your fantasies.
I am the girl that will make you feel your world.
I am the girl that will NOT settle.

Untameable.
Unstoppable.

I am the one that you desire,
to hold close all night.

You desire to know me deeper.
You desire to see my worst side,
because you know that it will just make you love me more.
You desire to penetrate me at all levels,
you want to taste of all my streams and valleys,
You want to climb deeper into my heart,
higher into my spiritual caverns,
You want to feel me.

Throughout.
Our flesh,
is not enough.

No.
You desire more.

I am the girl that cannot give this to you.
I am not able to give you what you desire.
I cannot give it.
I will never give it.

I am the girl that you fall in love with.
I am the one that makes you want to devour me.
You never want to leave me.
You will ALWAYS come back in hopes for more.

It is not there for you.
Or anyone.
It is not something you can have.
You crave my soul.
You crave to own me.
You say, “No, I want to see you fly.”
You say, ” I love you.”
You say so many beautiful words.
I am the girl that you love.
I am the girl that you cannot have.
Not at the level that you desire.

I will not part with myself so that you can have me.
I will not loose myself, so you can find a false version of me.
It is my courage,
My passion,
My wisdom,
My sex.

You love them.
You hate them.
You are jealous of them.

You do not know me.
You never will.
You are blinded by the light,
the light that you desire to capture,
like a firefly in a jar,
I cannot allow it,
it will kill my soul.

You do not know me.
You believe that you do,
but if you did you would see your truth.

The truth of not having me.

I am the girl.
I am that girl.
You know the one.

I am the one that you love to love.
I am the one that you fear to love.
I am the one that makes you meet yourself.
Then smiles.
And say’s goodbye.

*For all the girl’s who make their partners meet themselves.
*For all the girls who never sell their souls for anything less than truth.
*For all the girls who are loved for their radiant light that can never be captured.

We see you.
I see you.
You are loved.
You are brilliant.
You are an initiator of the divine masculine.
Open your angel wings,
Hold your men up high.
Let them taste of your nectar.
Envelope them in your love.
And set them free.
Free to meet themselves.
To fly,
beside you.
Yes, You are that girl.

Goddess.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

oin Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

Popcorn Moments

These moments… Popcorn Moments.

 
These moment’s they tend to drive me effing crazy while they are happening.
 
You most likely know the moments.
It is the times when you are focused, determined, aware and taking action,
 
But there is still no pop corn popped.
You can hear the sizzle in the pan of the kernels getting ready.
You can feel the heat of the fire that you have built and keep tending too.
 
You can smell the warming oil.
And feel the excitement of how good it will be when they pop.
 
Yes the yummieness of the fresh pop corn, its buttery flavor, its comfort and simple complexity.
 

Yes you know these popcorn moments.

 
Every time you make your mind up that you are going to
 
Get serious.
Make it happen.
Plant your stake.
Get COMMITTED.
Become more than what/who you are.
Access your FLOW.
And become ABUNDANT.
 
Yes these moments.
 
This is what I am speaking of.
 
And then what happen’s?
 

I will tell you what happen’s…

Your child comes to you and asks if he can purchase a game online. It is only this small amount of funds.
 
But you find yourself CLAIMING that you don’t have it.
 
Your kid comes to you and ask’s if they can go here or there with a friend and they need just $20, NOW.
 
But you find yourself CLAIMING that you don’t have it.
 
You open your refrigerator or pantry and see that it is time to go grocery shopping again, and you feel this drop in your gut.
 
Because you find yourself CLAIMING that you don’t have it.
 
Your friend say’s let’s grab lunch, and you really need away from everything and get excited about the connection and sharing.
 
But you find yourself CLAIMING that you don’t have it.
 
You really need to take a moment for some self-care and get a massage. You have been working so hard, and you know it is almost mandatory for you to do.
 
But you find yourself CLAIMING that you don’t have it.
 
Your lover snuggle’s up and say’s, “Let’s grab dinner and a movie, go for drinks and chat.” You see the sparkle and turn on in their eye, you feel the need for connection.
 
But you find yourself CLAIMING that you don’t have it.
 

Yes here is what happens.

 
We reach for our goals.
Our dreams and desires.
 
We PROCLAIM that we want them,
That we will DO ANYTHING to achieve them.
 
We send out our rockets of desire and watch as they his they pass through the atmosphere into the hands of God.
 
And then we promptly, swiftly,
 
CLAIM that we don’t have it.
 
It is in our words,
Our actions,
Our thoughts.
 
And all of this makes up our ENERGY.
 
If we are not in the energy of certainty,
the energy of enthusiasm,
the energy of allowing ourselves to receive our desired life.
 
Then can we ever REALLY expect that we will create it.
That the BLESSINGS will come down on us?
 
No, Because it is like looking at that popcorn, sizzling away.
Smelling it getting ready, hearing the kernels in the hot oil.
Even seeing and hearing a few pop,
 

And THEN…

 
Removing it from the heat,
And PROCLAIMING that it was NEVER going to happen.
 
In this we not just take our popcorn off the heat,
we toss it in the trash can.
 
And cry about the waist.
 
We blame the popcorn.
We blame the stove.
We blame the oil.
We say the oil got to hot or not hot enough.
 
And then we land on, ” I did not want popcorn anyway.”
 
Sound familiar?
 
We are all guilty of doing this somewhere.
I write this because I caught myself in my own little popcorn moment this morning.
 
Funny how we sabotage that, that we want so much.
So that we can continue to SETTLE for something less.
 
Our comfort is in the LESS though.
Our SUCCESS is in the MORE.
In the anticipation.
In the waiting with intent.
In the energy of IT IS ALREADY HERE.
 

Where are you coming from this day?

Will you ALLOW your popcorn to pop?

 

And Remember,

Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

The New Human Lesson on Risk, Fear and Having It All.

I am often so captured by fear, I cannot move forward.

 
There are so many time’s in life where I find myself just pausing, procrastinating and what is without a doubt stuck in FEAR. Some of these instances are actually silly, other’s are understandable. Some I cannot avoid the event sand steps that I most certainly will be taking while yet, other’s I just ignore and act like they are not even there.
 
It’s funny as I write this I come back to the feeling of being pregnant.
 
Not just pregnant but due any day.
Then I slip into the thought of the moments after my water has broken and there is NO TURNING BACK. Once that water breaks your just a few short moments maybe 30 minutes away from contractions happening for real.
 
The clock start ticking on reality.
You realize that your going to have a baby.
And in order to birth this child that there WILL be pain, blood, sweat and tears.
There will be terror going through your veins.
There will be uncertainty mixed with excitement.
 
In this MOMENT you realize, well sh*t, I am stuck now.
Now I have to move through this birth, this transformation and just go with it.
 
Funny thing, I always tried to control it for the first portion of the labor process. Always, trying to act calm, cool and collected, like I had everything in order was superwomen.
 
And the interesting thing was that for the most part I did.
I was.
 
But there were moments in this that I felt great pain,
tears wanted to stream down my face and few choice words wanted to escape my lips.
 
It was NEVER as bad as i thought it was going to be though.
It was NEVER as severe as I had painted in my head those few short moments after my water broke or event the days leading up to that.
 
I often thought, it was going to steal my sanity,
make me look weak.
I often thought that I would not be strong enough to handle the process,
that I was for sure going to fall apart,
and my true self,
that self that I wanted no one to see,
would appear ,
and disappoint everyone,
including me.
 
But the moments came, and the labor built.

My body slowly let go of it’s need to control and prove itself and just accepted it’s GREATNESS.

 
My mind released it’s fear,
perhaps it was the rush of adrenaline,
perhaps it was the faith that God had my back.
Perhaps, I was actually as STRONG as I thought I was story I was trying to tell.
 
Who know’s.
 

What I do know is that I ALWAYS made it through.

I ALWAYS did it naturally.
I ALWAYS did it in GRACE.

I ALWAYS pushed through (pun intended).

 

And at the day, I got to meet a beautiful new little human.

And more importantly, they had introduced me to my SOUL.

 
My COURAGE.
My STRENGTH.
My POWER.
 
This new little human got me to meet myself at a new and more intimate place than before.
 
Experiencing this 7 time’s in my life I can tell you from experience and my heart that there is no difference between giving birth to a new little human being than there is to giving birth to your DREAMS.
 
I feel ALL the same fears, concerns, doubts and pains when I increase my coaching rates as I did when I gave birth.
 
I feel all the same things internally emotionally, when I step up to a new level of who I want to become and have to act on it.
 
I feel all the same things when I decide that I am NOT TURNING BACK from my mission, my calling, my purpose.
 
I feel all the same things when I COMMIT to doing more, BEING more, HAVING more.
 
I feel all the same things when I CLAIM MY LIFE as I did when I was Claiming the life of my new little human.
 
A long time ago a friend looked at me and said, ” Kendal, you are not afraid of anything, I wish I was more like you.”
 

OMFG!

Did she just say that?
 
I responded with, “What? I am afraid of everything, ALL the time.”
 
This was my epiphany.
 
So often fear STOP’s us from our dreams.
Stop’s us from birthing the life that we were born to live.
 
Even though, I was always afraid.
Uncertain.
and scared out of ever lovin’ mind,
 
I ALWAYS was COMMITTED to my SOUL.
I was always willing to step off that cliff and see where it my take me.
I was willing to fall so that I could learn how to get back up.
I was willing to look like a fool if it meant that I would grow.
I was willing to RISK.
 
I always understood that just living meant that we RISK.
And in that we were born to explore,
to discover,
to uncover,
to tap in
and get turned on,
to our hearts desires.
 

We were built to RISK.

And without that RISK, all we ever would be doing was to LIE TO OURSELVES and avoid our DREAMS.
 
Without discomfort, risk and fear.
We become NOTHING in a hurry.
We loose ourselves and our lives.
 
And thus we risk not just a ding to our ego,
but we RISK EVERYTHING.
 
Thank goodness for the little human’s that have guided me to feeling into this space and keeping it real with me every day.
 
Thank goodness that that I was willing to see the lesson,
and actually get it.
 
I want to share this lesson with YOU.
Because whether you have a little human you brought into this world or not is sorta beside the point now.
 

The point is, that YOU were BORN for GREATNESS.

You were meant to have more.
You were meant to STAND OUT.
You were meant to RISK.
 
That is what every BREATH is trying to tell you.
 

So WAKE THE F*CK UP!

 

And Remember to Stop Existing & Start Living.

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

 

You Are Right, You Do Not Deserve It!

Let me ask you this, are you:

Shamelessly stepping into your success?

Shamelessly stepping into your abundance?

Shamelessly Saying YES to Yourself?

At our core if we don’t feel worthy, then we are not going to receive. Because we are not going to allow ourselves to receive.

We all battle worthiness issues. I know I do.

We are told that we should not focus on self. To love self is almost condemned in our society. It is crazy to think that it is far more accepted  to hate on yourself than to love yourself. But we are shamed for doing just this.

If we “think to much of ourselves.”

If we ” love on ourselves.”

If we ” speak to highly of ourselves.” 

We are shamed.

Don’t be selfish.

Don’t be self-centered.

Many of us were told that to be self-less was the desired path.

That we are to give of ourselves until we can give no more.

And that we should be able to keep giving and not need any replenishment of any kind, especially any self- love, care or acceptance.

And MOST certainly NO BRAGGING!

The thing is, you cannot consistently give at any decent level if you are not receiving some form of nurturing, love or pleasure. You must receive and feed yourself in order to be able to take care of others or achieve any sort of result you may desire in life.

You must allow yourself to receive love, care and other things in order to keep yourself in a state of being able to give and do.

And RECEIVE.

So here you go.  What I am speaking about is worthiness.

And what that comes down too is being selfish.

At our core we HAVE to have worthiness in order to create all our dreams, accept love, receive any abundance or success.

Even most of your needs will not come to you if you have worthiness issues.

Have you ever noticed that when something good just happens out of the blue, you know when you have that really good luck drop on you, how it is hard to believe that it did.

You cant believe that you had that sort of good luck.

You cant believe that you got that blessing.

You cant believe that you had that miracle happen.

Do you feel like these events are coincidences?

Or do you send out gratitude and stand in expectation for more because you KNOW  that you are worthy?

If your anything like the majority of peeps out there you most likely live in a state of lack of belief that you deserve anything. Which is where the shock of the good shit happening to you comes in. That is that, “Woohoo, OMG! moment.” Yes in this moment of praise you are excited but unbelieving that you are worthy of such yummie gifts from God. When we step into this pattern of disbelief and say such things as, “ I cannot believe this happened to me.” you are showing your lack of worthiness in the blessing.

Well, is it your true lack of worthiness or is it your belief that you are not worthy?

In those experiences and events you are stating that you don’t deserve this goodness to come into your lives.

BUT in TRUTH YOU DO!

When I use words such as gratitude and expectation or child like enthusiasm what I am saying to you is that THIS is a true state of worthiness. It is the act of receiving our blessings and knowing that there is more to come, because more is already coming.

The ONLY way those blessings will not show up is if you have doubt that they will. If you believe that God will not provide for you and that God is somehow wanting you to suffer.

Imagine if you put as much faith and expectation into having abundance in life as you do about living in scarcity?

What would your life be like?

I can tell you what it would be like because I have shifted my own personal shit around this topic and went from raising five children on welfare, in a bad marriage, starting to have health issues, and only having a household income of $17,000. Constantly struggling, moving from house to house, never knowing if the power or water would be on or if I could afford the basics for my family to having stability, savings, debt freedom, incredible loving relationships all around, a multi-six figure income, travel, a clean bill of health and living what I call a F*ck YES! life

This is what happens when you start to love yourself.

This is what happens when you start  to appreciate yourself.

This is what happens when you understand that God is great and wants your greatness to shine as well.

This is what happens when you heal your shame and embrace your worthiness.

You MUST CLAIM YOUR LIFE though.

You MUST start to say yes to taking care of yourself and STOP holding on so firmly to the reigns of fearful control and instead open your arms up and embrace the blessings that are falling all around you.

If you continue to condemn yourself then you will continue to remain in victim status in your life and will NEVER reap the bounties of joy, love, abundance and health that is RIGHT before you.  You will continue to feel disconnected, unloved, unworthy, lost and even forgotten.

Life will become all about duty and responsibility.

It will be filled with stress, anxiety, fear and depression.

But it does not have to be that way!

NO!!!!!! 

You can have everything RIGHT NOW by simply loving yourself and expecting miracles, expecting blessings, expecting in FAITH that it is not just coming, but already here.

That is the ONLY trick that you have to learn.

In order to achieve this though you must do these three things:

  1. Pay attention to the mental masturbation you have going on. The chaotic, fear based thoughts that you find yourself dancing with all day. Do you wake up to these thoughts? Do you fall asleep to them? Today commit to starting your day by saying 5 things you are grateful for and end the day as you lay your head down to sleep with five things that you are in gratitude for having happen in the day. This simple practice will change your world and quickly help you feel more worth in receiving abundance.
  2. You must accept RIGHT NOW that self-esteem comes from no where else but inside you.  You must accept yourself without complaint and be willing to work on all aspects of self without contempt or lapse into negativity. This means take FULL responsibility for your life and what is and is not in it.  Focus on removing your ego’s dominant need to cast blame.
  3. Stop feeling guilty about having good shit happen. Stop shrinking down your blessings and feeling like you “should” not have what you have.  You must commit to no longer accept guilt into your life. If you are feeling guilty about things that you have done in  your past dig a little deeper and realize that what you most likely are calling guilt may be remorse instead. With regret we gain a learning opportunity, with guilt we are in a state of reproach.

CLAIM YOUR LIFE TODAY!

Claim your worthiness by saying YES to yourself NOW

Love yourself one mustard seed worth of what God loves you and watch abundance fill your life. 

 

-KW

 

 

 

5 Signs You’re In A Highly Sacred Relationship

couple-relationshipRelationships provide the opportunity to teach us many lessons. Whether it’s between parent-child, friends, or even strangers, we can learn so much more about ourselves in relation to others.

On some level, every relationship is sacred as it holds opportunity for us to grow. However, there’s something distinct about the intimate relationship shared by lovers. Our partners are not defined by genetics or familial bonds. We’re not necessarily thrown into proximity by way of work or school environments. We choose willingly to enter into relationship with them. In addition, there’s the added component of physical intimacy.

Here are five characteristics of healthy, sacred relationships:

 

1. You can be yourself.

In a sacred partnership, you won’t feel the need for self-censorship. You feel free to show the spectrum of who you are and lose the masks often worn in society.

Even though you may still feel self-conscious about some of your behaviors, you work through your hesitation and often end up laughing at yourself. In the presence of this other, you are more accepting of the things you once tried to hide.

2. You maintain individuality.

Even though all barriers have been removed to allow room for your significant other, you still find independence within the relationship. Though you share many things together, you still have some of your own interests and pursuits.

You are not reliant on the other’s presence to fully function or feel whole, nor would your partner expect or demand otherwise. Your partner supports and encourages your individuality, as do you for them.

3. You have a mutual desire for personal evolution.

Consciously sacred connections always move in the direction of growth: for the partnership and for each individual. A desire to impede the growth of the other for one’s comfort is a manifestation of fear. Even when one is concerned that the relationship may dissolve, they accept that their paths may diverge for the benefit of both. Evolution is put before personal gain.

4. You “hold space” for each other.

The art of holding space for another is rooted in love and respect. It means listening to them wholeheartedly and letting them know by your complete presence that they are seen and valued. It’s not a space where you try to fix the other person. It’s about being witness to the totality of your beloved.

5. You’re peaceful.

Life doesn’t feel blissful all of the time, nor will any relationship. However, the majority of time spent together will be peaceful. Interactions with each other will leave each party feeling invigorated as opposed to drained.

An undercurrent of anxiety is not desirable to either individual. Though there may be stressful situations (schedules, children, relatives, job demands, etc.) both parties are committed to reinforcing their bond with minimal friction.

In conclusion, highly sacred relationships present a number of characteristics. These qualities can be seen in all types of relationships, but meet specific challenges in the romantic realm. Some unions will last a lifetime and others are brief. The one thing all have in common is that they provide some of the most transformative interactions you can experience.

Source: “5 Signs You’re In A Highly Sacred Relationship,” from mindbodygreen.com, by F. Emelia Sam

Photo CreditShutterstock.com

– See more at: http://theunboundedspirit.com/5-signs-youre-in-a-highly-sacred-relationship/#sthash.xvxfb1RI.dpuf

The Feminine Needs Bubble Wrap

vulnerabilityI am a strong, powerful, willful woman who has been called a “force of nature” by many. And today, if I was to a be a vase, packed into a box for shipping – I would need extra bubble wrap around me today. My skin actually hurts.

I would need the card board box to be firm and hard. I wouldn’t suggest putting me in an airplane. I would require a delivery man. I am feeling that fragile.

It’s the kind of fragile that can make mistakes. I’m the kind of fragile that can make me feel like I won’t be delivered safely. That somehow, I will fall like the vase to the ground and shatter. And it’s so much work to put me back together again. All of that awful stinky sticky glue.

It’s hard to look at someone who leads, and see their fragility. We want to believe that our teachers and leaders never cry or feel lost or fuck up. But somehow, I think that the best of us do. We might even question why we are leading. Or our life’ purpose!

Do you ever feel this way? Do you ever speak it?

I have been talking a lot the past few weeks about women, and how we love and support each other – and how we don’t.

So many of my friends are deeply involved in women’s circles, or various other female dynamics in complicated relationships.

And it seems that we are all shaking on some level. Is it the stars?

The sins we commit against each other as women is lack of support. A competitiveness that seems to have an underbelly hidden through soft words.

A lack of seeing each other with gentle eyes. We hurt. We hurt each other. We hide. We project. We become mute or duplicitous, and we fester like boiling water until one day we erupt like a geyser. Do we forget we unravel in grief?

So many of us hold deep trauma in our lives. For me, this is different than the drama some of us layer on top of our lives as a distraction from perhaps what is real trauma – or dare I say it – boredom.

Do you reach out to your friends, and ask for extra love and support when you are hurting this way? Or do you hope that they just notice and get it, and call you?

Or if you are feeling strong, do you make yourself available to your friends to wrap them up in bubble wrap when their skin hurts and their heart beats funny? Do you just offer soft kisses on the forehead?

Does letting yourself be seen in your trembling state feel too needy to you? Some of us just wait and hope that our need will be seen – and support will just show up. Some of us create anger, because any kind of attention to our pain even negative attention can fill us up in some way or another.

And some of us, walk around the house looking for bubble wrap and retreat for a few days.

Sometimes, it can be as simple as needing rest.

Loving you from here, and please send a little bubble wrap my way!

Pamela Madsen, Author of Shameless, Sexuality & Fertility Coach, Integrative Life Coach Specializing in Women’s Issues

Websites: Back To The Body, Pamela Madsen.org

shameless-coverShameless 
———-
A funny, sexy, and wildly entertaining look at the rewards of fully realized desire in the life of one ordinary woman.

At 43 years old, Pamela Madsen was happily married to the man she fell in love with at 17. She was the mother of two sons and had a successful career as a nationally known advocate for fertility issues. But she felt a growing sexual restlessness and yearning that wouldn’t let up. And though Pamela loved her husband and didn’t want to have an affair, she knew deep down that she needed more, much more. In Shameless, she tells the story of how she found it—and not only kept her marriage intact but made it stronger than ever.

In this fearless memoir, Pamela tells the story of her search for sexual, personal, and spiritual wholeness. She explores, in riveting detail, what she experienced at the hands of sexual healers, men who brought her untold pleasure (and became her close friends in the process).

But this is not just another sex book: Shameless is also an account of how Pamela’s journey healed her issues with food and body image and most important, helped her weave the many roles that she played—daughter, friend, partner, mother—into one fully integrated person. It is a story about a woman falling in love with herself and a call to other women to do the same.

Vulnerability picture by Seth Barns